The Callisto Protocol - Angry Review

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 5K

  • @Snarkknight5
    @Snarkknight5 ปีที่แล้ว +4426

    The graphics team was like that one kid who actually tried for the group project, LOL

    • @aaronhumphrey3514
      @aaronhumphrey3514 ปีที่แล้ว +472

      The sound and music people also tried. They absolutely nailed it.

    • @bentucker2301
      @bentucker2301 ปีที่แล้ว +189

      Looking forward with ue5 there are going to be a lot of games that look amazing but are as deep as a puddle...

    • @DoomiePookie
      @DoomiePookie ปีที่แล้ว +56

      Im obese

    • @creatorsfreedom6734
      @creatorsfreedom6734 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Butcher Bay Looks hellah better than this game

    • @nivaneh1010
      @nivaneh1010 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@DoomiePookie same lol

  • @MigDonalds4235
    @MigDonalds4235 ปีที่แล้ว +956

    I love how Alex broke the fourth wall when he said “there’s absolutely no excuse for it” lol

    • @PremonitionGamingVid
      @PremonitionGamingVid ปีที่แล้ว +14

      This 100%

    • @joshuagraham2843
      @joshuagraham2843 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @Vercusgames god that ea never changes

    • @mariobadia4553
      @mariobadia4553 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @Vercusgames oh please EA has absolutely nothing to do with this. It was 100% The devs Fault With absolutely nobody else to blame.

    • @BargerClan
      @BargerClan ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@PremonitionGamingVid This definitely 100% refunded it on steam never looking at Back

    • @EL-ISS
      @EL-ISS ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @Vercusgames I'm perplexed EA is even still alive ... I think their recycle of Fifa every year is what's keeping them afloat lol.

  • @hiddenshadow2105
    @hiddenshadow2105 ปีที่แล้ว +374

    This part at the beginning? It is honestly the game I want to play someday. Just OSHA inspector going through all of those nonsensical futuristic designs and then loading the whole list of mistakes onto the owners and shutting the whole thing down.
    It was damn amazing part to see it in action. Thanks, guys!

    • @ashtonderojas821
      @ashtonderojas821 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      That sounds like a meta comedic game.

    • @ethicalcheeze1407
      @ethicalcheeze1407 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      I think there's a game called Viscera Cleanup Detail or something where you play a janitor who has to clean up after the hero has already gone through the level and killed literally everything in it lol

    • @hiddenshadow2105
      @hiddenshadow2105 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@ethicalcheeze1407 There is but Viscera Cleanup Detail is rather a lot of back and forth, and everything is level based. I want to be OSHA inspector with a clipboard and pen and go across the game just like main action hero does.

    • @akmal94ibrahim
      @akmal94ibrahim ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Now I want an OSHA Simulator game. Both the joke goat-simulator-like version and the serious farming-simulator-like in-depth version.

    • @hiddenshadow2105
      @hiddenshadow2105 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @FreeSpeech orDIE!!! So true!

  • @lucianodematos1094
    @lucianodematos1094 ปีที่แล้ว +782

    "I don't fear the enemies... I fear the combat system"
    That was surgical!

    • @swissgamerzchannel2035
      @swissgamerzchannel2035 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I am thinking about it too.I keep coming back to the days where my PS1 would constantly crash my game.

  • @Pyro67152
    @Pyro67152 ปีที่แล้ว +860

    Also gotta love how prisoners can apparently bypass locked doors in a maximum security prison colony by prying open an access panel (right next to the door) and cutting a ribbon cable.

    • @mariobadia4553
      @mariobadia4553 ปีที่แล้ว +84

      The writers didn't really think that through

    • @tonito_el_tigre
      @tonito_el_tigre ปีที่แล้ว +76

      To be fair that’s after everything goes to hell, before the outbreak if you did that you’d have your brain blown out by one of the robot security. Sure it alerted staff if that happens

    • @Damion176
      @Damion176 ปีที่แล้ว +69

      the better question is how does your character even know how to do this stuff when he barely got into this prison system. He didn't have any background info compared to isaac clarke from dead space.

    • @tetsuoshima7385
      @tetsuoshima7385 ปีที่แล้ว

      😝👌🏻

    • @trevorfrenk4137
      @trevorfrenk4137 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@Damion176 i was thinking the same thing!! he’s just a pilot, but if he had some expertise in that area they couldve justified it

  • @holitinne
    @holitinne ปีที่แล้ว +1038

    “I don’t fear the enemies, I fear the combat system.”
    That’s probably the meatiest slap to the face of the devs making this horror game.

    • @MrShaggyww
      @MrShaggyww ปีที่แล้ว +46

      this horror of a game*

    • @delta22ization
      @delta22ization ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Everything thy say is exaggeration.... and you shouldn't believe anything said in this review, only a 6 year old child would had the same amount of trouble with combat as this 3 put together.

    • @touka6589
      @touka6589 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@delta22ization the combat is clunky and boring lmao it’s repetitive asf and it’s horrible in groups of enemy’s because when you dodge you can only dodge 1 person and it’s turn based instead of it being a actual dodge button and being able to dodge whenever you want. So yoy is just getting smacked by 2 other zombies while stuck dodging one person because of the system and camera🥴🤣 stop defending this dumpster fire of a game you look sad

    • @touka6589
      @touka6589 ปีที่แล้ว +85

      @@delta22ization there is only one boss the entire game lmao he just comes back over and over again😂 this game was lazy asf they just worked on the visuals and that’s it😭 they though that just because they made dead space that everyone would give this game a pass but nope everyone shit on this game

    • @touka6589
      @touka6589 ปีที่แล้ว +68

      @@delta22ization they didn’t even get the shooting gameplay right😂 what made dead space combat acceptable was because shooting the enemy’s actually felt satisfying when you shoot their limbs and you see how they react and how they move to it. But instead they made this games enemy’s really spunjy and shooting them on certain body parts don’t do shit they just keep walking and moving the same😂 you can shoot their head off and they still come at you normally which is bullshit you don’t get rewarded for good aim like unlike in dead space you do.

  • @badmedicine65
    @badmedicine65 ปีที่แล้ว +149

    The devs forgot how the gunplay in DS was a huge part of its success. Dismembering monsters with the line gun and plasma cutter brought so much satisfaction. Melee was only for desperate situations.

    • @Fxrrxt2x
      @Fxrrxt2x ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Although true, I think the point of the game was to try to do something different.

    • @drpotato830
      @drpotato830 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      @@Fxrrxt2x yeah but well different doesnt mean better.

    • @Kirivera
      @Kirivera ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@drpotato830 Still, a breath of fresh air after just having played the entire DS trilogy and it's dlcs before playing TCP. Dead space can be a real shooting gallery

    • @nathanaelgolser1349
      @nathanaelgolser1349 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      And on the higher difficulties melee was almost impossible, a single enemy grapple would see your health brought to critical or just outright kill you. Also, these things are infectious right? The tentacle one and the grubs show that. Shouldn't you be keeping them at a distance? Guns help do that a lot better than an electric baton.

    • @mariobadia4553
      @mariobadia4553 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Oh so cut off the tentacles is way less catchy than cut off their limbs

  • @comablack7026
    @comablack7026 ปีที่แล้ว +115

    One of the strongest things dead space had going for it was the enemy variety and design. The Necromorphs all had very interesting and iconic designs and ways of attacking. Seeing the main enemy type with the blade-like arm claws was akin to seeing a xenomorph for the first time. This game has nothing like that. Everything is some kind of tentacle zombie, and it gets boring really fast.

  • @AceOniFlyer
    @AceOniFlyer ปีที่แล้ว +550

    2:36 "This place is so lazily designed, that there's absolutely no execuse for it." As he stares directly into the camera. Break out the popcorn, this is going to be one of those reviews.

    • @trafficking2596
      @trafficking2596 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      @PatrickBateman215 yeah, but bro...the jiggle physics.

    • @Delactual
      @Delactual ปีที่แล้ว

      @PatrickBateman215 whataboutism isn't a good counter argument

    • @dolabala1755
      @dolabala1755 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @PatrickBateman215 yea you need to play other missons as well, theres 42 missions i think

    • @jesustyronechrist2330
      @jesustyronechrist2330 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yeah, games have such talent working on individual components and such big budgets that everybody thinks that somehow automatically equals to a good game.
      But these studios haven't watched interviews of Id or Looking Glass studios about game design.

    • @kcirdor99
      @kcirdor99 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@dolabala1755 He said "its the same 3 missions over and over" meaning out of the 42... only 3 types over and over again...

  • @derekstein6193
    @derekstein6193 ปีที่แล้ว +2032

    In a good horror game you SHOULD fear combat, just not in the way Callisto Protocol does combat.

    • @MetallicaKing48
      @MetallicaKing48 ปีที่แล้ว +332

      You should fear your opponent in the combat, you should not have to fear the combat mechanics. Ha ha.

    • @pretenderxxx2385
      @pretenderxxx2385 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      @@MetallicaKing48 Theres nothing wrong with combat and its mechanics. There are some rules but the rules are consistent.

    • @gaminginhdmax3854
      @gaminginhdmax3854 ปีที่แล้ว +156

      I do fear the combat, its so boring and shit. Im clueless how they can downgrade from dead space like this, its not even fking funny

    • @MetallicaKing48
      @MetallicaKing48 ปีที่แล้ว +64

      @@pretenderxxx2385 Ok, fan-child.

    • @williamyoung9401
      @williamyoung9401 ปีที่แล้ว +58

      Frustrating isn't fear.

  • @eqWillibrium
    @eqWillibrium ปีที่แล้ว +235

    Other Joe is remarkably calm for someone who lost an arm and an eye months ago.

    • @hiddenshadow2105
      @hiddenshadow2105 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      And broke his legs, remember that he also broke his legs

    • @FurtiveSkeptical
      @FurtiveSkeptical ปีที่แล้ว +11

      He's "All right" now....
      Or possibly "All Left".....

    • @Danzroo
      @Danzroo ปีที่แล้ว +5

      He is still in shock to the day l,still is able "shake a leg boyss"

    • @Mt.Berry-o7
      @Mt.Berry-o7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Professionals have standards

    • @Severian_of_the_Guild
      @Severian_of_the_Guild ปีที่แล้ว

      You owe me an eye you bastard

  • @tetsuoshima7385
    @tetsuoshima7385 ปีที่แล้ว +297

    The only difficulty in this game is the combat system’s restriction. Well said 😂

  • @weliveinasociety3324
    @weliveinasociety3324 ปีที่แล้ว +276

    The most unrealistic part of this review is that OSHA actually inspected something

    • @rafaelsantiago1651
      @rafaelsantiago1651 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣

    • @deepPuddlesarefun
      @deepPuddlesarefun ปีที่แล้ว +46

      Ever actually report anything to OSHA? They show up faster than the police in some states.

    • @dylankurtz8423
      @dylankurtz8423 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I'll have to look into this OSHA, sounds intriguing

    • @chasejackson7248
      @chasejackson7248 ปีที่แล้ว

      I took covid for them to actually do something.

    • @awakeandwatching953
      @awakeandwatching953 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@chasejackson7248 well yeah once they could cripple small businesses that would struggle to enforce the senseless lock down requirements, in the uk we still have these stupid plastic barriers at check outs making shops look like banks.. was OSHA responsible for enforcing that bs in the US?

  • @YouCanCallMeMich
    @YouCanCallMeMich ปีที่แล้ว +992

    I love how AJ keeps saying 'Callipso' instead of 'Callisto' :D

    • @davillain9974
      @davillain9974 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      I'll be honest, I actually like that name Callipso than saying Callisto

    • @Prototype-357
      @Prototype-357 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      I don't know if it's a joke or is it just that he doesn't proofread his scripts. I'm leaning to hte side of it just being a joke cause Alex and OJ would have noticed it.

    • @Wraiven22
      @Wraiven22 ปีที่แล้ว +52

      At this point I’ve just accepted that Joe and Other Joe will mispronounce every single name in everything they review. Sometimes I swear it’s on purpose with how often certain names in shoes like House of the Dragon are repeated. “Carls” instead of “Corlys” comes to mind as one of the most egregious 😂

    • @shaunhoyt7815
      @shaunhoyt7815 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Henry Ca-ville lol like burgerville

    • @VeratyrFLESHNMETTLE
      @VeratyrFLESHNMETTLE ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Someone's played Twisted Metal

  • @jahn77
    @jahn77 ปีที่แล้ว +484

    The true monster of space…. OSHA

    • @Awakened2001
      @Awakened2001 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      reminds me of spaceballs, OSHA inspector on the deathstar.

    • @crash4267
      @crash4267 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      It's funny cuz OSHA doesn't shut you down lmao

    • @13nohead
      @13nohead ปีที่แล้ว

      Lmao

    • @tysean0816
      @tysean0816 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's a bad word at my job

    • @talynhastime9343
      @talynhastime9343 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      *Gurgling zombie voice* tHiS iS nOt bUiLt tO cOoOodE 🧟‍♂️

  • @ethaneastwood3130
    @ethaneastwood3130 ปีที่แล้ว +99

    Another thing about this game is the “sprint” is just a light jog but at the end of the game you finally see Jacob sprint with the self destruct sequence and I’m like WHERE THE FUCK HAS THIS BEEN THE WHOLE TIME

    • @dragonbornexpress5650
      @dragonbornexpress5650 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Interactive movie syndrome.

    • @RRRRRRRRR33
      @RRRRRRRRR33 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You people were courageous to play this goddamn abomination until the end, lol the excess of marketing always felt too aggressive to me, it was fishy... and here we are, overly reliance on graphics and marketing, this game deserved to fail

  • @Itsonemore23
    @Itsonemore23 ปีที่แล้ว +316

    As someone who works in construction the intro had me dying.

    • @SwooshJush83
      @SwooshJush83 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Fuckin OSHA

    • @jamessac6866
      @jamessac6866 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Lol yeah i work with OSHA aswell that was extremely funny

    • @Itsonemore23
      @Itsonemore23 ปีที่แล้ว

      OSHA is what came to my mind .

    • @machogandalf
      @machogandalf ปีที่แล้ว

      Damn man I’m sorry you gotta live that life 🙏

    • @SSingh-nr8qz
      @SSingh-nr8qz ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I would like a game where the lead is OSHA trying to shut down an evil villians' workplace and trying to stay alive as they shut parts of it down.

  • @pseudosanct5253
    @pseudosanct5253 ปีที่แล้ว +1108

    this is why i dont preorder games, no matter how good or promising it is. because these companies are experts at lying to you

    • @xxn0cturn3xx
      @xxn0cturn3xx ปีที่แล้ว +44

      the only game i always preorder is GTA, can release in the most broken state but we know they will have at least 10 years to fix it 🤣🤣

    • @ramon4184
      @ramon4184 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      This game never lived up to hype

    • @justaw2982
      @justaw2982 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      GTA is probably the only exception at least for me.

    • @MLPIceberg
      @MLPIceberg ปีที่แล้ว +17

      I don't preorder either, but in this instance... I think EA keeping the Dead Space IP screwed the devs. Apparently Callisto Protocol these guys wanted to make isn't the version we got because EA threatened lawsuits if certain things weren't changed. But it's only a rumor. I can't confirm or deny. Maybe the devs really were lazy and expected people to blindly like the game because of the rep some devs had of being part of Dead Space. I dunno.

    • @spaceman022
      @spaceman022 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      Learned my lesson with colonial marines.That was my very first pre order too lol

  • @lilmovealotaweight
    @lilmovealotaweight ปีที่แล้ว +603

    “My CALYPSO protocol is ruined!”

  • @Zdenko1991
    @Zdenko1991 ปีที่แล้ว +264

    I hope this 3 guys stay together forever. Perfect tandem.

    • @vladkornienko7889
      @vladkornienko7889 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      U mean trio?

    • @THE-NC2
      @THE-NC2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@vladkornienko7889 shut it

    • @matosz23
      @matosz23 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Sadly, when even the super best friends can reach a point of splitting up, I don't see that happening.

    • @zelg.5551
      @zelg.5551 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@vladkornienko7889 *threesome

    • @Vaternal
      @Vaternal ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Other Joe is definitely staying forever bro has been around for his entire lives

  • @Ar1AnX1x
    @Ar1AnX1x ปีที่แล้ว +161

    this game made me realize how important the enemy variety is in Dead Space
    it makes the game a lot more unpredictable

    • @andrewsimmons323
      @andrewsimmons323 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Made sense not to have many different variations; theres only adult humans on the moon.
      In DS, there were babys and a hierarchical structure to enemies IE normal slasher, advanced, baby lurker, Hive mind creates pregnant's that release Swarmers.
      With the parasite experiment in an early phase, makes sense that theres only 9 different biophages, security droids and two bosses. Dead Space actually had 13 enemies and 4 bosses.

    • @paulallen2680
      @paulallen2680 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      @@andrewsimmons323 the variations in Callisto protocol felt the same besides the spider thing and spitter, and I guess the blind enemies but those are a pathetic excuse of an enemy when I can just crouch walk around them like a cake walk

    • @paulallen2680
      @paulallen2680 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @@andrewsimmons323 also, there’s a rule that every dev follows. Gameplay over story, if the gameplay is atrocious then no matter how good a story is, it will still feel boring. And it doesn’t help that Callisto protocol story is extremely simple and predictable

    • @kleberson777
      @kleberson777 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      i think the problem is the dev try to design their monster around melee mechanic, so every monster should be meleeable, thats make the monster design very limited.
      Melee shouldn't be the focus, yes you can make it better, but it's only when you're out of ammo or to conserve ammo

    • @yamadiyoo9658
      @yamadiyoo9658 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What are you talking about ds 1 and 2 u can run them games with only the plasma cutter, line gun and contact beam. There games were never great it's just this one u can see all the bad easier.🙃

  • @Ar1AnX1x
    @Ar1AnX1x ปีที่แล้ว +2413

    Alex slowly starting to look like a police officer as he goes in his 40s in the future

    • @rainstorm4207
      @rainstorm4207 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jonathanhookano5668 Nope, policemen aren't hot.

    • @mightykanohii
      @mightykanohii ปีที่แล้ว +41

      @@jonathanhookano5668 Hell yeah he does

    • @machogandalf
      @machogandalf ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Dude is already like 45

    • @alexanderm3504
      @alexanderm3504 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@mightykanohii Y R u geh

    • @3217491
      @3217491 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@machogandalf makes no sense, since men will lose hair wildly different in age. Plus we don't start going downhill visually till after ~50-ish when we're also slowly going sterile.

  • @avikaurelius4992
    @avikaurelius4992 ปีที่แล้ว +129

    This game is what happens when a bunch of very talented artist are on a nostalgia trip for a game from their early careers. they just needed... game play designers, writers, play-testers and a director with a vision.

    • @williamyoung9401
      @williamyoung9401 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Unfortunately, the director is an "artist." So all he focused on was graphics and sound. Even he admitted the story was basic. If your story is "basic," it means it's BORING. Which means the GAME is boring. Which is the worst thing your game can be. If only we had Smell-o-Vision, and we could smell all the sewage in the game...

    • @lgd921
      @lgd921 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@williamyoung9401 I'm dying at smell o vision dude chill lmao

    • @flunkyballs4610
      @flunkyballs4610 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      And level designers.

    • @danielwilson2185
      @danielwilson2185 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@williamyoung9401 Bad take, basic story doesn't mean a game is boring. Gameplay comes first. This is a game, not a book or movie. If the story is basic or bad, and the gameplay makes up f or it, then it's good enough.

    • @kyzersoze8408
      @kyzersoze8408 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@danielwilson2185 incorrect. Doesn't matter how good the gameplay is. Without anything else going for it the gameplay loop will get boring.

  • @DinnyForst
    @DinnyForst ปีที่แล้ว +558

    Callisto Protocol is one example why I'm always skeptical about modern games when they prioritize cinematic and visual over anything else.

    • @jonjonboi3701
      @jonjonboi3701 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      Order 1886 is one of those kinds of games.

    • @bthsr7113
      @bthsr7113 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@jonjonboi3701 I feel kind of bad about that one. It had a cool premise, but man, did it waste it.

    • @fxzero666
      @fxzero666 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@jonjonboi3701 Yuuuuup... I tried to play it and just couldn't... like how could you mess up the combat so badly.

    • @joelrobinson5457
      @joelrobinson5457 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Minecraft will always be an example of why this dosen't work

    • @patrick550
      @patrick550 ปีที่แล้ว

      Witch cinematics and visuals dude, why is everybody hot for this shit.....youngsters ill guess? Well let me tell ya, it lookes like 20 year old shit to me. Ok fair, the main character and the cutscenes are like nice but EVERYTHING else is old shit and THE SAME in the WHOLE game! Ok i knew it was risky because of the reviews and the games was like only 25 Euros in store.....well i know wright know why that is...what a piece of garbage. HORR(OR)ABLE piece of shit im gonna break it in peaces!

  • @cadelittle7365
    @cadelittle7365 ปีที่แล้ว +188

    The dodge skit once again shows just how much of a UNIT Alex is!

    • @DETRACT0RD00M
      @DETRACT0RD00M ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Honestly, at this point, Other Joe and Alex are the high points of every episode.. Joe has just become a parody of himself

    • @RsKnDR0991
      @RsKnDR0991 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      @@DETRACT0RD00M a parody? He's still the same, like it or not

    • @dharien1000
      @dharien1000 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@DETRACT0RD00M Sad but true, when Joe is alone videos are crap.

    • @DETRACT0RD00M
      @DETRACT0RD00M ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @RsKnDR0991 obviously haven't been watching since 2014.. Joe used to be genuinely funny and the interaction between him and OJ was guaranteed gold.. now that Joe has split himself between video games, movies, T.V., boardgames, hawking GFuel, etc, it has become VERY obvious that he's doing it for the cash now.. if he was still having fun with it, it would transfer through to his presentations, but it doesn't.. long story short, OJ and Alex absolutely carry the show period.. sorry bro

    • @TheZachary86
      @TheZachary86 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @FreeSpeech orDIE!!!
      Exactly I don’t know why people think things have changed. He’s basically smart to change his format and bring OJ and Alex along.
      And let’s face it, we still love watching his rants.

  • @DowntownFunkMeister
    @DowntownFunkMeister ปีที่แล้ว +126

    My favorite part of the intro skit was Alex looking into the camera and saying there's no excuse for the level design 🤣 Great review guys

  • @TheRealRedComet
    @TheRealRedComet ปีที่แล้ว +231

    I laughed SO hard as Alex looked dead straight at the camera saying there was "no excuse" for the design.

    • @williamyoung9401
      @williamyoung9401 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You know, id figured out how to switch weapons in 1993 with DOOM (1).

    • @Puggy42069
      @Puggy42069 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      He said that directly to the fanboys defending this game.

    • @ryanrobinson8682
      @ryanrobinson8682 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It's not really laughable it's annoying and they keep getting away with it because dumb people keep buying these sorts of dumb titles.

    • @Puggy42069
      @Puggy42069 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@ryanrobinson8682 Exactly. Ignorant 12 year olds who think comparing this game to worse games somehow makes Callisto Protocol suitable.

  • @trollmaster6994
    @trollmaster6994 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Its always funny to me whan game gives you "stealth kills" and enemy scream like pig with spear in ass while dying and NOBODY hears it. Not even another enemy 10m away.

  • @jubilantvision2212
    @jubilantvision2212 ปีที่แล้ว +325

    I had no plans to buy it, but I wanted to see its reviews.

    • @williamyoung9401
      @williamyoung9401 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Watch the very end. The heavy metal music during the fight was the best part of the game that never happened, lol. (38:55)

    • @imrileth6618
      @imrileth6618 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I had plans to buy it but that plan changed when i watched gameplay after release.

    • @dreamtiger5288
      @dreamtiger5288 ปีที่แล้ว

      I wish I did was very disappointed but loved the graphics 😢

    • @ShallowDepression
      @ShallowDepression ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Do you know what a fleeting thought is?

    • @Eddycut
      @Eddycut ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Save your money for the dead space remake. That looks infinitely better than this trash

  • @goldenchi1d228
    @goldenchi1d228 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    “This place is so lazily designed, there is absolutely no excuse for it” - *Inspection Crew*

  • @midnightjay
    @midnightjay ปีที่แล้ว +78

    19:49 There's something so damn funny about Joe losing his shit and OJ and Alex in the back in absolute silence just observing with unreadable expressions on their faces.

    • @akmal94ibrahim
      @akmal94ibrahim ปีที่แล้ว +9

      You know a game combat mechanic is shit when you get infuriated even after beating the boss/enemies.

  • @xelldincht4251
    @xelldincht4251 ปีที่แล้ว +499

    i think all this dangerous shit that doesn't belong in prison would have made more sense if the story would have took place in a mine, factory or something like that

    • @joshuaverde5362
      @joshuaverde5362 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Edit: I spoiled the story my bad

    • @xelldincht4251
      @xelldincht4251 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@joshuaverde5362
      i see

    • @joshuaverde5362
      @joshuaverde5362 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@xelldincht4251 sorry if I spoiled it. I'll delete the comment

    • @imnotdavidxnsx
      @imnotdavidxnsx ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@joshuaverde5362 the "story"

    • @vvasks
      @vvasks ปีที่แล้ว

      How is this a spoil? It’s a mine?

  • @1985Seraphim
    @1985Seraphim ปีที่แล้ว +68

    As someone who works with OSHA, this skit was spot on😂

    • @mikoto7693
      @mikoto7693 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      There might be a series potential in that. Pick a game or something from TV and roast it for its pointless OSHA violations. Maybe something like that stealth based Alien xenomorph game… Oh maybe Alien Isolation is the name? I can’t quite remember the title of that game.

    • @matthewjones39
      @matthewjones39 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@mikoto7693 I do know one yt channel that finds the unemployment rate in different games

  • @uberlazio5924
    @uberlazio5924 ปีที่แล้ว +119

    The death animations really did a great job showing a sadistic side to the creatures but I must say that the dodge Mechanic took me out of it as I found myself walking through the areas like a crab that even when I get caught off guard by a really good scare I was already dodging.
    Also the lady in this story was a frustrating part in this game giving the guy crap for what happened in the beginning of the game and I'm thinking to myself she broke into his ship with a group of armed strangers how did she think he was going to react.

    • @boltowl625
      @boltowl625 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I assume your revering to Dani as the lady, I believe she broke into his ship forcefully as she suspects you to be the reason for transporting dangerous infections to europa which killed her sister. so at the start she seems very aggressive towards Jacob because of what she suspected and she was right, Jacob is a freelancer who was hired to transport a dangerous infection that would have made him rich for life, him being aware on how dangerous of the infectious cargo was, I found unclear.

    • @bizmonkey007
      @bizmonkey007 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The terrible combat system, poor level design, and uninspired enemy encounters kill any sense of fear. I was too busy being frustrated to be scared.
      The story was painfully generic with paper-thin characters and a reliance on cliches. It’s a disappointment all around.

  • @Pyro8147
    @Pyro8147 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    All that Callisto Protocol did was make me want to play Dead Space.

  • @slyngn7847
    @slyngn7847 ปีที่แล้ว +124

    "It *looks* and *sounds* great."
    You can say that with almost every modern game. It has the same energy as Geralt saying, "It's like ordering a pie and finding it has no filling."

    • @jeremyallen5974
      @jeremyallen5974 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Or watching a movie whose only strong points are the CG and soundtrack

    • @lionheartt15
      @lionheartt15 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@jeremyallen5974 so every movie starting after the mid 200s then?

    • @numbjuhnu
      @numbjuhnu ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Or as Joe himself said in Destiny review:
      "It's got the looks, but none of the heart and soul."

    • @0ompaLoompa
      @0ompaLoompa 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sound in Metro Exodus is real bad. So much about all great games have great sound

    • @Hightower2804TP
      @Hightower2804TP 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@lionheartt15 you watch movies from the 200s? No wonder you get disappointed

  • @MioRaem
    @MioRaem ปีที่แล้ว +92

    Clearly one of those games where the combat sounded really cool on paper
    and then nobody had the guts to step up and say "Yeah this isn't turning out as we hoped it would is it" during prototyping

    • @JoshTyrReece
      @JoshTyrReece ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This.
      In theory its great. And listening them talking about it before release its sounds cool. But after several hours playtime its just boring.
      Maybe more was planned and they didn't have enough time. Like the upgrade system that doesnt change the look of for example the stun baton. Or weapons having more functions. It feels like the bare minimum and thats not enough for 10+ hours.

    • @sirebellum0
      @sirebellum0 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      The alternative is they did know it was bad, but found out too late, and were like "we gotta release this game hell or high water". Hence why they embargoed the reviews

    • @ryanrobinson8682
      @ryanrobinson8682 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      100% Agree, it would be interesting to see what the company was like during development and what the real opinions of the developers were. It could be that people spoke out, but were not listened to by senior management.

  • @Alex8609BrindyJames
    @Alex8609BrindyJames ปีที่แล้ว +58

    I miss Angry Joe saying, "You done fucked it up!" That's what his reaction to this game would be.

    • @mravg79
      @mravg79 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I assume you will get it when it lends on the top 10 most disappointing games if 2022.

    • @PepeLa_
      @PepeLa_ ปีที่แล้ว +3

      He normally does in the reviews by himself, he literally said it 3 months ago in the beginning of the Saints Row review.

    • @Alex8609BrindyJames
      @Alex8609BrindyJames ปีที่แล้ว

      @@PepeLa_ Thanks for pointing that out. I forgot. That being said, I believe that this game is another case where he would say that.

    • @Alex8609BrindyJames
      @Alex8609BrindyJames ปีที่แล้ว

      @mravg79 I think this game will actually be on Angry Joe's Worst Games of 2022 instead.

    • @PepeLa_
      @PepeLa_ ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ​@@Alex8609BrindyJames Yeah the game deserves a "you done fucked it up" but AJ not saying it isn't the end of the world, I think the final verdict of 3/10 speaks for itself.

  • @Vortexnicholas
    @Vortexnicholas ปีที่แล้ว +142

    Whether it is 2011, 2015 ,2019 or 2022, angryjoe's angry reviews are always worth watching. Id love to see a angry review for evil west as well

  • @Acecard-jl2py
    @Acecard-jl2py ปีที่แล้ว +28

    The skit in the beginning feels like a great concept for a movie. An evil leader has to keep up with appearances with the main villain in the plot: OSHA

  • @pierre-mariecaulliez6285
    @pierre-mariecaulliez6285 ปีที่แล้ว +176

    That opening skit was pure gold ! OSHA FTW ;7
    TL DR : they should have made it a movie...

    • @Zuernaxashyr
      @Zuernaxashyr ปีที่แล้ว +4

      No need for "tdlr" lol that first sentence is barely any longer than the 2nd.

    • @pierre-mariecaulliez6285
      @pierre-mariecaulliez6285 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@Zuernaxashyr TDLR for the video, not my initial comment...

    • @cyber_xiii3786
      @cyber_xiii3786 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@pierre-mariecaulliez6285 This would be a pretty cool movie now that you mention it...

    • @lougaroo7351
      @lougaroo7351 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Actually, there is a German short movie ("Staplerfahrer Klaus", translates to "Claus, forklift truck operator") from the late 90s/early 2000s in the vein of work safety instruction videos (even with an overvoice by a speaker who is famous in Germany for traffic safety videos) that is pretty much that - it starts out innocent enough as if it was the real thing and quickly evolves into super gory fun.
      It still is brutally hilarious!
      And would fit this ticket very well.
      Highly recommended.

  • @jesustyronechrist2330
    @jesustyronechrist2330 ปีที่แล้ว +312

    That intro was gold! Honestly, I would watch an entire series of a couple of sci-fi construction inspectors roasting spaceships for not meeting OSHA regulations

    • @donkeywithascarf2435
      @donkeywithascarf2435 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      If the sci-fi has any dealings with chemicals and the environment, you can throw in DOT alongside OSHA. I used to work at a hazmat disposal facility. DOT loved doing surprise visits. And when they did, everyone always went hiding. If you weren't fast enough, you had the DOT inspector watching you work for the next 15 minutes.

    • @eugeniaamariei8626
      @eugeniaamariei8626 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@donkeywithascarf2435 I guess it would suck having a DOT inspector watching over your every move.

    • @xfunkypicklex
      @xfunkypicklex ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Omg yes I second this

    • @maximusstorm1215
      @maximusstorm1215 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Ngl, I had to skip the intro due to the cringe 😬

    • @oxideactual1018
      @oxideactual1018 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@maximusstorm1215 Good for you. No one asked.😁

  • @spoonlolol2
    @spoonlolol2 ปีที่แล้ว +138

    "No excuse for it." looks at camera

  • @edmundkempin3653
    @edmundkempin3653 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    I played through the game on Maximum Security and found the game ludicrously easy as I had upgraded the GRIP and the Baton and just threw enemies into hazards the whole time. However, because I hadn't upgraded my firearms, it was literally impossible for me to kill the final boss. I was running around the boss arena for 30 minutes trying to find anything to kill the boss with but no avail. Such a badly designed final encounter.

    • @johnynoway9127
      @johnynoway9127 ปีที่แล้ว

      did you ever beat him tho?
      im thinking of getting the game.

    • @clickbaitable6320
      @clickbaitable6320 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I still haven’t beaten it I play it on Maximum and it’s super easy. Even Dead Space Remake is harder and more terrifying than this weird amalgamation of concepts not executed properly.

    • @aayushdas19
      @aayushdas19 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@johnynoway9127don’t buy it, play it on gamepass or something.

  • @SuperGogetaBlue
    @SuperGogetaBlue ปีที่แล้ว +118

    The way OJ is just easily and amusingly dodging Alex attacks is just hilarious

  • @mrgoober6320
    @mrgoober6320 ปีที่แล้ว +230

    My biggest takeaway from Callisto Protocol is that Josh Duhamel looks exactly like Orson Welles.

    • @gypdarin1458
      @gypdarin1458 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      People who arent cultured should know orson welles was for a bit a handsome lad.

    • @S1D3W1ND3R015
      @S1D3W1ND3R015 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Also him and Timothy Olyphant actually in real life get confused by people to be the same person, lol. They both talked about it on multiple talk shows.

    • @accelerator8558
      @accelerator8558 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I am sorry but i dont even know Who those People are

    • @DJIsher1
      @DJIsher1 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@S1D3W1ND3R015 I thought it was Timothy in the game until I read this comment thread lmao

    • @lihkan
      @lihkan ปีที่แล้ว

      Didnt realised it before but cant unsee it now

  • @CheeseLasagna
    @CheeseLasagna ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Ah yes, yet another example that just because you have amazing graphics doesn't mean it's a good game. Devs need to stop focusing on graphics and focus on the game loop and mechanics. Gameplay is everything.

  •  ปีที่แล้ว +162

    Those walkways… maybe this should be The Collapso Protocol"? I'll see myself out…

    • @metfan999
      @metfan999 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Here, have my like

    • @variousengineering1965
      @variousengineering1965 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      🥁

    • @music8419
      @music8419 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      How about "corridor protocol" or "cramped protocol" or "confusing camera protocol" or ...

    • @docbenway1082
      @docbenway1082 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      👏👏👏 I chuckled

    • @Ascendedninja6
      @Ascendedninja6 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Haha. No, you can stay.

  • @VexenDmitri
    @VexenDmitri ปีที่แล้ว +88

    Funnily enough, I watched my friend played Callisto Protocol last week, and we basically joked on the same things Alex said about the architecture in the sketch. Word by word. 🤣

    • @absolutelyfookinnobody2843
      @absolutelyfookinnobody2843 ปีที่แล้ว

      Nope, you are lying for attention

    • @drpotato830
      @drpotato830 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      true, the place alone without all these creatures are dangerous enough. no wonder most of those doing security are robots.

  • @Number99IsTheBest
    @Number99IsTheBest ปีที่แล้ว +111

    Thank you so much for adding in OtherJoes iconic “wanna play a zombie game?” It’s the best thumbnail and so nostalgic 😂

  • @gracol435
    @gracol435 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Words to chill the heart - "We'll fix it" How about (and it's a terrifying thought) releasing a game that works on the first attempt?

  • @Gundamman
    @Gundamman ปีที่แล้ว +42

    Gaming is no longer about making good games it's about slapping together a product that people will buy

    • @pompeythegreat297
      @pompeythegreat297 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Capitalism has infiltrated gaming.

    • @abeyma2242
      @abeyma2242 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      if it has a famous name attached to it people will buy/consume it no matter what, its not just movies or shows it seems, its spreading to games too but in this case it doesnt have a famous title or anything but instead people know the lead guy made Dead space so.

    • @Fxrrxt2x
      @Fxrrxt2x ปีที่แล้ว

      @@pompeythegreat297 Wanna know something interesting about capitalism? We actually control it. But, the problem? The people are stupid.

    • @julessaviour5931
      @julessaviour5931 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Just like movies these days, they are no longer passion projects but just companies trying to make money.

    • @Revan-eb1wb
      @Revan-eb1wb ปีที่แล้ว

      @@pompeythegreat297 stop sounding like a commie

  • @eddieliusa
    @eddieliusa ปีที่แล้ว +92

    Just played dead space 2 again, and its insane how many more enemy types there were compared to CP. The weapons also all function very differently and makes replaying it still very fun

    • @peterversionone
      @peterversionone ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Scariest enemy in Dead Space 2 were the infants. When the lady allowed it to crawl to her, I was trying everything to break the window to save her

    • @absolutelyfookinnobody2843
      @absolutelyfookinnobody2843 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      No it's not "insane". Why are you over-exaggerating, there are lots of games that had plenty of care and detailed put into it. This game is just a lazy design or they didn't know what they were doing.

    • @mattcubed9658
      @mattcubed9658 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@absolutelyfookinnobody2843 They meant insane as in compared to this game which was made by the same devs moron

    • @EliteJediX
      @EliteJediX ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@absolutelyfookinnobody2843 he said compared to he isn't over exaggerating shit

    • @drpotato830
      @drpotato830 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      nah for me it always the ds one, beyond comparable. ds2 its starting like a looter shooter when ds3 basically a cod.

  • @Caisio
    @Caisio ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I think it was a famous dev who said (i dont remember who said it) : Realism NEVER should be in the way of gameplay. Those animations should be way faster or if you get hit, you should be able to cut em/skip em.

  • @TonySilvey13
    @TonySilvey13 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    The opening bit where Alex looks to the audience and flat out says "there's no excuse for it" had me dying

  • @Redwolf322
    @Redwolf322 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    The people that made dead space that was part of this must have been the graphics team because everything else was shit

  • @AzurTG
    @AzurTG ปีที่แล้ว +375

    I love how they didn’t even realize the annoying woman was kamiko from the boys

    • @gaminginhdmax3854
      @gaminginhdmax3854 ปีที่แล้ว +101

      I love it when devs use all their budget on everything except gameplay and end up with a stinker game.

    • @aw9307
      @aw9307 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Or Katana, even.

    • @EzeLolo86
      @EzeLolo86 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Damn, they all look the same😆

    • @imrileth6618
      @imrileth6618 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@gaminginhdmax3854 That's exactly the impression i got when i watched gameplay footage when it released. This game is like the opposite of elden ring, Put all the budget into getting big actors, cinematics and then there was none left for making the actual game good haha.

    • @northernseeker1822
      @northernseeker1822 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@SuperFlawless2010 Wasted Actress, there weren't even reason to keep it on.

  • @devwinkle
    @devwinkle 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    2024 here 22:10 OJ came up with the HAWK TWAH before that girl did. LAWYER UP JOE!

  • @ImaginaShip
    @ImaginaShip ปีที่แล้ว +152

    I was reminded of the Mass Effect review while watching this and had to go watch it just to see OJ with the googly eyes again 😂

    • @zeus1117
      @zeus1117 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Mass Effect is way better than this game though.

    • @ImaginaShip
      @ImaginaShip ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@zeus1117 totally agree! Especially with all the fixes they’ve put into it.

  • @westberlinerbuoi70
    @westberlinerbuoi70 ปีที่แล้ว +138

    You guys killed it with this parody intro! Hands down, funniest one in quite some time👌 (extra points for Alex' "he disARMed you" quip lmao)

    • @absolutelyfookinnobody2843
      @absolutelyfookinnobody2843 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      No, no he doesn't get an extra point for the most obvious joke that would have been made by pretty much everyone

    • @westberlinerbuoi70
      @westberlinerbuoi70 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@absolutelyfookinnobody2843 well, english is not my mother tongue so I never really drew the connection between "arm" and "disarm". To me that was a funny play on words 🤷‍♂️

    • @camolot2102
      @camolot2102 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@absolutelyfookinnobody2843 eat a snickers

  • @CoolSmoovie
    @CoolSmoovie ปีที่แล้ว +112

    That *final jump scare* had me dying laughing. Especially after how unscary and meh the final fight was, that went for the whole game as well.

    • @mariobadia4553
      @mariobadia4553 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      They tried so hard to make this like the first Dead Space so they just couldn't resist making a s***** jumpscare at the end. The jump scare in Dead Space one worked because issac took the shuttle off the planet so he should be safe only for Nicole that jump out at Isaac

    • @williamyoung9401
      @williamyoung9401 ปีที่แล้ว

      When Alex is on his phone while AJ is going off, you know it's a bad game. Not bad. Boring...annoying. Which is way worse. They definitely needed to hire better combat people...A better dodge mechanic. Maybe even bio-upgrades so can the Player can have super-human strength. You're mutating in a good way. They're mutating in a bad way. You know?

  • @totallydarknessfilms2352
    @totallydarknessfilms2352 ปีที่แล้ว +83

    I do see the main issue is that combat in the game is little too easy for a horror game it like playing resident evil 6 even though the gameplay makes you into a badass but the enemies aren't terrifying enough to take them seriously

    • @danielgeronimo5538
      @danielgeronimo5538 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      The thing at least in Resident Evil 6, midway point once you start fighting the J'avo, you'd soon learn they are a lot smarter than the average grunt you've been dealing with.
      Biophages can look goofy at times and there's no "oh shit" moments not like when necromorph variants starts appearing.

    • @insiainutorrt259
      @insiainutorrt259 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Combat can be easy And NOT! boring....

    • @coranbaker6401
      @coranbaker6401 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It was easy 1 on 1, but it could get very cheap against multiple enemies, and on hard difficult everyone is so bullet spongey that the whole game is a slog to go through.

    • @Fenris2
      @Fenris2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Also way too slow paced and then when you're doing well then you suddenly get bum rushed by 7 dudes that came from nowhere

  • @Lone1Wolf8
    @Lone1Wolf8 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    2:35 died laughing when Alex looked at the camera. He's done 😂

  • @arandomfish9755
    @arandomfish9755 ปีที่แล้ว +139

    Loving the reviews lately, funny as hell, with just the right proportion of talking, gameplay, parody and screaming. Thanks Joe and team.

    • @delta22ization
      @delta22ization ปีที่แล้ว

      how old are you? couse I'm sencing a new born, with 0 world experience...

    • @williamyoung9401
      @williamyoung9401 ปีที่แล้ว

      To Rage, or not to Rage. That is the question. (23:10)

    • @tigeroyer7789
      @tigeroyer7789 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@delta22ization what does that even mean? Are you butthurt they didn’t like the game or something? Are you that easily upset?

    • @delta22ization
      @delta22ization ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tigeroyer7789 it means I want to know when this person started watching this and his age, couse I personally checked out of the "funny" part on this skits/reviews.... it means I don't find anything he does funny, not after what I witness live.

    • @tigeroyer7789
      @tigeroyer7789 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@delta22ization so you’re hate commenting because somebody liked something that you don’t find funny? You’re a small and pathetic person.

  • @PhantomHalf
    @PhantomHalf ปีที่แล้ว +140

    Its fucking wild how I’ve been watching angry joe since middle school. I am proud to have you being one of the biggest puertorican youtubers. Keep it up!

    • @DrViperVideos
      @DrViperVideos ปีที่แล้ว +9

      You didn’t say what grade youre in now, so maybe you’re still in middle school. Also him bring puerto rican means nothing lol

    • @N3XTREVOLUTION
      @N3XTREVOLUTION ปีที่แล้ว

      @@DrViperVideos why be a dick?

    • @PhantomHalf
      @PhantomHalf ปีที่แล้ว

      @@DrViperVideos bro im a grown ass man im 25 and im also puertorican go suck a dick huele bicho

    • @PhantomHalf
      @PhantomHalf ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@DrViperVideos jodio mamao

    • @0boro
      @0boro ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@DrViperVideos Partyboy has arrived.

  • @Atarius
    @Atarius ปีที่แล้ว +55

    I got an AMD callisto protocol commercial as soon as the segment about the combat started lol

  • @izolationmediainc.9625
    @izolationmediainc.9625 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    All those years,
    and I still can´t get over the fact, that you three guys, are the perfect buddy combo.
    Joe is the a little "older" brother, but angry and impulsiv.
    OtherJoe is the little "younger" brother, not that loud, always responsiv and always by Joe´s side.
    And Alex is the dissacosiated cousin, who´s always over, never gets bothered, and keeps kind of a overlook because of his distance.
    Gold Trio.

    • @stickmane91
      @stickmane91 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This needs more likes! Couldn't agree more

    • @Airyed
      @Airyed ปีที่แล้ว

      I liked Del too

  • @patrickoakley7890
    @patrickoakley7890 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Rented this from Gamefly. Went through it on Max Security difficulty from beginning to end. Agree with every single word of this review. The combat mechanics kill you more than the enemies do. Trying to fight a Two-Head, you'll be shooting your shotgun at his head, and for NO REASON, Jacob will do a melee attack and automatically get you killed. Pure fucking trash.

    • @MrFitness94
      @MrFitness94 ปีที่แล้ว

      I just played through for free and I’m glad you commented this; that was tilting me so bad

  • @rrice3142
    @rrice3142 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    Joes jump scare bit was so hilarious

    • @williamyoung9401
      @williamyoung9401 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      OMG, I could not stop laughing when Alex kept saying, "foreskin." 🤣🤣🤣 (26:45)

    • @rrice3142
      @rrice3142 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@williamyoung9401 haha. One of their best videos !

  • @JayceeVoZuri
    @JayceeVoZuri ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Callisto protocol is the best example for graphics means nothing when the game is absolutely bullshit

    • @Chubzdoomer
      @Chubzdoomer ปีที่แล้ว

      LOL, true dat. Probably one of the worst combat systems I've ever seen in a modern survival horror game.

  • @basedtrucker
    @basedtrucker ปีที่แล้ว +147

    got the game day one and it crashed soo often it was like being forced to speed run. also the game does a piss poor job escalating the difficulty which is fine, but it was still annoying af when you get to the end.

    • @snoop4470
      @snoop4470 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I played the entire game on medium difficulty got to the boss and died like 30 times. Lowered difficulty and still couldn't beat him. I just watched the end on youtube and deleted the game.

    • @basedtrucker
      @basedtrucker ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@snoop4470 sick of these studios releasing games that arent finished or tested decently simply because they can update it as they go.

    • @basedtrucker
      @basedtrucker ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@snoop4470 the end isnt great i got a ps5 mostly for this game. shouldn't have had such high expectations

    • @GoonieLord
      @GoonieLord ปีที่แล้ว +1

      By now folks would steer clear of Triple A titles

    • @isaactorres7909
      @isaactorres7909 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@snoop4470 I still can’t beat the ending I am pulling hair.

  • @dtay8913
    @dtay8913 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    THIS is my Christmas present. I love Dead space and Angry Joe so I've been eagerly anticipating your review on this.

  • @bryanpineda2096
    @bryanpineda2096 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    That is an actual good point for OSHA to come barging in during the intro. Like simply walking around an area in The Callisto Protocol would be deadly in itself.

  • @Desbo
    @Desbo ปีที่แล้ว +50

    Fuck me guys, the intro. One take? The acting! the script! the writing! Honestly so good, so good feels like a level up, great job - I’m in stitches laughing hahah! ❤

    • @foxfire1112
      @foxfire1112 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      They are legit talented comedy actors, more than just typical TH-cam quality

  • @HoodrichShinobi
    @HoodrichShinobi ปีที่แล้ว +23

    bro his passive aggressive smiling skill is absolutely unreal. It's truly next level. 😂😂😂😂

  • @billyleho7839
    @billyleho7839 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Even a soft jumpscare in DS such as a necromorph passing by is way more scarier and heart pumping than in CP where they have a monster directly at your face. Also they even have the audacity to reenact the ending jumpscare like in DS which didn't work at all...

    • @shadowrobot7708
      @shadowrobot7708 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think a big reason for that is you don’t want to be close to enemies in Dead Space. But in CP you do since it’s your main form of combat.

    • @kingrobotnik6950
      @kingrobotnik6950 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@shadowrobot7708 nah bro, it’s about subtlety. You don’t want to be around any enemy. But you know eventually you’ll have to engage with them. But them just right in your face constantly isn’t scary. Having the enemy creep by you, gives you the uncomfortable sense someone is watching you and you know you’ll have to fight them eventually. You just don’t know when and you hope they don’t catch you off guard like if you are low on ammo…

    • @shadowrobot7708
      @shadowrobot7708 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@kingrobotnik6950 I said a big reason not the only reason.

  • @ieat223
    @ieat223 ปีที่แล้ว +270

    Love this kind of video,,, discussion still with clips from the game just like the old videos,,,

    • @ajaxlewis7664
      @ajaxlewis7664 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      You only need one comma, why are you using 3?

    • @manwithballsonarm6775
      @manwithballsonarm6775 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@ajaxlewis7664 cause he can,,,

    • @ajaxlewis7664
      @ajaxlewis7664 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@manwithballsonarm6775 Well, you like things in 3s so much
      🖕🖕🖕

    • @Daniel-jc1bp
      @Daniel-jc1bp ปีที่แล้ว +9

      @@ajaxlewis7664 I could not stop laughing you mad my day😂

    • @cs45933
      @cs45933 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@ajaxlewis7664 calm calm calm down down down,,, it’s it’s it’s only only only three three three commas commas commas,,, 🖕🖕🖕

  • @Fuxend
    @Fuxend ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I just simply can not believe there wasn't a single person in the ENTIRE studio who sit down, played with the game 30minutes, stand up and i said:"this combat system fckin sucks, we need to rethink it, hard

  • @healsallwounds
    @healsallwounds ปีที่แล้ว +79

    Jump scares are a useful tool in the horror toolbox, but if that’s all you are throwing at the player, they lose their value.

    • @akmal94ibrahim
      @akmal94ibrahim ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Also, jumpscares need tension build-up. You don't just throw random jumpscares.

    • @Walamonga1313
      @Walamonga1313 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Useful tool if you lack talent yeah. The original Silent Hill had like 1 jumpscare and it was still one of the scariest games ever

    • @WH250398
      @WH250398 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Literally all they keep using is that stretchy neck head thing. They use it so often it becomes comical.

    • @michaellane5381
      @michaellane5381 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@akmal94ibrahim tension and payoff... Too much tension without actual threat can be just as big an issue.

    • @healsallwounds
      @healsallwounds ปีที่แล้ว

      @@WH250398 What about the worm that pops out of boxes?

  • @jonny0z046
    @jonny0z046 ปีที่แล้ว +163

    I’ve been hoping for a linear first person narrative experience , I’m so burned out on open worlds there so much and I know I’m not going to find the time too finish. Give me an interesting self contained storyline , graphically consistent one in which a feeling of accomplishment self validation that I will never feel anywhere else .

    • @naanku4431
      @naanku4431 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      you just described Guardians of the Galaxy Personally my game of the year 2021.

    • @devbyrd6127
      @devbyrd6127 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Man me too. I just don’t have the time or the energy to keep up with open world games which sucks

    • @ogs_Boga1900
      @ogs_Boga1900 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Demon souls

    • @kc4276
      @kc4276 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Same. Going back to replay Dead Space 1 and 2 + Metro trilogy just for this reason.

    • @bob_bobsen
      @bob_bobsen ปีที่แล้ว +5

      If I get tired of the open world I just play the main story linearly. It works fairly well.

  • @hunn20004
    @hunn20004 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Perhaps that is one major gripe...that unlike the Ishimura... The Callisto facility doesn't quite look like either a functional prison or a hidden gene experiment facility

    • @Brandon-ml2zw
      @Brandon-ml2zw ปีที่แล้ว

      It does eventually.

    • @hunn20004
      @hunn20004 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ​@@Brandon-ml2zw Where? the DLC? And you get blackscreen teleported into the prison transport, then your cell, and oh suprise, everything is on fire and you're out of your cell.
      Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher bay did way better on less square meterage. AAAA quality visuals should always take the backseat to gameplay, story AND mechanics.

  • @MoNkDiZzLe6
    @MoNkDiZzLe6 ปีที่แล้ว +90

    Glad I didn't waste 70 buck on this. Will wait to play.

    • @White_Tiger-777
      @White_Tiger-777 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I pre-ordered this game. Spent 60 dollars on it. I got like halfway through and it took me a week to get back to it and finish it. I gave it a 6.7 out of 10 when I first played it. But I thought a bit more about is and now I believe that it is a 4.5 out of 10.

    • @seriousstuff8887
      @seriousstuff8887 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It took me about 8 hours to play through..its a brawler it's a fun game when you look at it like that.

    • @thingsiplay
      @thingsiplay ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@White_Tiger-777 I tell people never pre-order games. When will people learn...

    • @heyjeySigma
      @heyjeySigma ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@thingsiplay ppl will never ever learn.
      Ppl preordrrd that thrash known as cyberpunk 2077.. but didn't learn the lesson and now they preorder this and didn't learn.. probably same with pokemon SV.. and it wil go on and on

    • @trevordennis2631
      @trevordennis2631 ปีที่แล้ว

      It’s not worth it even at like $19.99 on sale. It’s fucking garbage.

  • @Kuduloka
    @Kuduloka ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I could've forgiven a lot of the mistakes and terrible systems, if the story was more engaging. I remember getting to chapter 4 or 5 (couldn't keep track honestly), and started wondering, "when am I going to start finding out the story?" That should've been a red flag right away, and the game was more of a slog because there wasn't anything I was working towards. Seriously, what story driven game, besides this one, withholds it's story for hours before giving it to you?!

  • @XeresKyle
    @XeresKyle ปีที่แล้ว +38

    Also, since you were saying you counted how many jump scares there were in an hour of the game,that reminded me that I was counting how many times I thought they missed a great opportunity for one, or just a random event to take place that caught you off guard. For example, you crawl through so many vents in The Callisto Protocol, but never was there something waiting on the other side or even following you through one. I was hoping there would've been a point where you're crawling through a vent, particularly the longest one, ans then at the other end a biophage grabs you and rips you out of the vent. Another example is the flooded area, nothing came out to fight you. And there were others too but I'm not naming all the points they missed out on a great scare opportunity.
    Also the game was just WAY too linear. I understand the claustrophobic feeling and being in a tight quarters prison, yadda yadda; but man, the outside area was so bad! I wish we got to explore outside. I wish when we got outdoors it turned into a semi-open world game, or just a small sandbox area. But the whole game all the way through is just walk straight ahead.

    • @LawinReborn
      @LawinReborn ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nah L take, too many games are open world. I wanted linear, please dont take it away you have semi open in every other game

    • @zachutchinson7101
      @zachutchinson7101 ปีที่แล้ว

      I remember being petrified of the original half life game vents when I was a kid. No cinematics either, just the relief when you didn't have a crab jump at your face when rounding a corner.

    • @rokkraljkolesa9317
      @rokkraljkolesa9317 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think I heard it first on someone's video, but the vents might be used like hidden loading screens, forcing you to slow down so the next area can load in

    • @lola-to9om
      @lola-to9om ปีที่แล้ว

      @@rokkraljkolesa9317 this isn't a 2010 console and pc are fast enough in 2022 to load the game without using that old method

    • @rokkraljkolesa9317
      @rokkraljkolesa9317 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@lola-to9om it could also just be badly optimized, as seen with the framerate

  • @BaltimoreActual
    @BaltimoreActual ปีที่แล้ว +33

    I’m usually complaining about how little angry reviews there have been over the past few years, it seemed like they really took a backseat to fkn movie and show reviews etc but I have to give credit where credit is due and say it seems like you guys have really put a lot more effort into getting more angry reviews done the past several months and I hope ya’ll keep up the hard work and thanks!

  • @GameViolence
    @GameViolence ปีที่แล้ว +51

    Good acting from Alex

    • @williamyoung9401
      @williamyoung9401 ปีที่แล้ว

      Remember Witcher 2, and how frustrating it was when you were another character and you couldn't dodge or roll? I can't roll in a melee game, no thank you. (35:55)

  • @TheReanimator1983
    @TheReanimator1983 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Speaking of the slow animations there, was an update that improved the healing speed switching between weapons speed and I believe the reload. But the worst thing for me that they still have not fixed and probably won't is the auto safe function. I agree with Joe on everything else regarding how beautiful the game looks and sounds

  • @lyricahm3370
    @lyricahm3370 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Merry Christmas Joe, Other Joe and Alex thanks so much for all the great reviews and content over the years keep up the great work and have a good year!

  • @AnikiChad
    @AnikiChad ปีที่แล้ว +8

    joe you’re lookin good man, makes me happy to see, been watching for so so many years, glad to see you doin good

  • @monkeymagic00001
    @monkeymagic00001 ปีที่แล้ว +769

    It actually feels rather nostalgic to have a game be bad purely because some games are bad rather than because of the garbage "modern audience" injections.

    • @mattmas6628
      @mattmas6628 ปีที่แล้ว +70

      It’s a relief in a way

    • @BonerBot
      @BonerBot ปีที่แล้ว +104

      Don't worry there will be a Callisto Protocol remaster in about 5-10 years that will be "updated for modern audiences" so it can be doubly bad.

    • @davidwhite206
      @davidwhite206 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@BonerBot No astute investor will waste money on this trash a decade from now.

    • @_Cetarial
      @_Cetarial ปีที่แล้ว +13

      The game has a black and Asian person in it, or did you miss that?

    • @davidwhite206
      @davidwhite206 ปีที่แล้ว +54

      @@_Cetarial That "wokeness" does not contribute at all to how shitty the game is. I did not notice it because the game itself is trash.

  • @legendjaketv
    @legendjaketv ปีที่แล้ว +31

    This game definitely started to feel really good to play towards the last two hours of it. It give me hope for the potential if there if a sequel and they learn from all the feedback on this game. The lack of NG+ is incredible to me, why would I want to go through that again.

    • @spencer9841
      @spencer9841 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      100%

    • @labaronfreeman1140
      @labaronfreeman1140 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      They announced that they will be adding New game Plus next year

    • @OrionDawn15
      @OrionDawn15 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@labaronfreeman1140 Yes. Next year, as part of DLC I think.
      WHY WASN'T IN THE GAME IN THE FIRST PLACE?

    • @legendjaketv
      @legendjaketv ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@labaronfreeman1140 Waiting a year for a feature that should be standard has become the standard.

    • @kato093
      @kato093 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@legendjaketv NG+ was added a few months later (2 or 3?). It's DEFINITELY not a 3/10. Angry joe is a dumbass

  • @mercuraz
    @mercuraz ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Great review to end the year! Sad to see this being a bitter disappointment for most. Have a safe and happy holidays everyone!

  • @FunRagers
    @FunRagers ปีที่แล้ว +8

    You forgot to mention how many times you have to crawl through or inch through a tight space to get to the next area

    • @R3in_Ch
      @R3in_Ch ปีที่แล้ว +1

      the fan boys says otherwise!

    • @BWMagus
      @BWMagus ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It's a loading screen. Honestly, it doesn't make too much sense to complain about, because SOMETHING has to happen to allow the game to load. Better than a black screen.

    • @FunRagers
      @FunRagers ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@BWMagus honestly I would rather have a loading screen lol

  • @planexshifter
    @planexshifter ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Let’s do a spiritual successor to DeadSpace!
    Ok- any ideas?
    Yeah, we remove everything great about DeadSpace!
    Ok…. And then what?
    Oh, no that’s it, I was done.

  • @jadenbennett6232
    @jadenbennett6232 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    0:55 the “calypso” protocol??? Joe😂

    • @Czar_Steve
      @Czar_Steve ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It is fooken mingin

    • @Takato2527
      @Takato2527 ปีที่แล้ว

      You can say Calypso from Twisted Metal is back 🤣

    • @eternalpaladingaming5575
      @eternalpaladingaming5575 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's what i thought he said but i shook my head and thought i was hearing things

  • @ElTrasho
    @ElTrasho ปีที่แล้ว +7

    The look in Joes eye and smile when the OSHA inspector mentions the machines with exposed gearboxes says everything

  • @rafael502
    @rafael502 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Merry Christmas everyone!

    • @tylerm7411
      @tylerm7411 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Merry Christmas!

    • @DeadSpacedOut
      @DeadSpacedOut ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Merry Christmas to you too!

    • @camacarzie12
      @camacarzie12 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Merry Christmas to you too

  • @mariawhite7337
    @mariawhite7337 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    It would be really interesting to have a zombie game where you are a bunch of prisoners trying to survive an outbreak. All the guards left, only the prisoners are the ones left uninfected for hundreds of miles. So you basically have to get the best prison engineers to start Mcgyver'ing zombie killing things. Resource management galore. Have to find a way to survive long term and short. Sadly this game decided to go more with the BAD aspects of dead space and nothing else.

  • @Spynmaster
    @Spynmaster ปีที่แล้ว +14

    AngryJoe and crew, we always appreciate you guys oging into the trenches and reviewing these games so we know what we wanna and not wanna play. Happy Holidays and keep up the fight, you guys.

    • @ryanrobinson8682
      @ryanrobinson8682 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Even when they were warned not to review it because it looked so bad on day-1.

  • @xeroone8194
    @xeroone8194 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Merry Christmas, Joe! Hope you and the crew have a great holiday!