@@moejoththat doesn't help honestly Because those health issues take time to happen If it's something that'll happen immediately then I'd definitely clean up
Best things that actually work: Wake up at the same time. Get excercise Drink water Meditate And the biggest one: Keep a do it now/fall into action mentality. Don't try to do something by thinking to do it. Let your body take the action, not your mind. For example say you have to clean your room. Don't focus on thinking, "C'mon I need to clean my room " instead clear your as much as possible and then let yourself start doing the task. It's like putting yourself it auto mode or readjusting to the trail rail to move forward. Most of the diffulcuty doesn't actually from motivation issues, it actually comes from anxiety which prevents us from taking action. The good thing is that the more you are able to do this, the more a flow you will be able to achieve, making way more productive.
Omg thank you so much for sharing this. I have experienced in the past but I don’t think I ever realized why sometimes I can just do things and other times I get paralyzed. I’ve bee having a really difficult time recently getting some pretty urgent things done and it has making me feel so depressed. I’m gonna try this approach today. 🙏🏼
ANXIETY IS REAL!! Thank you for this. I do feel ANXIETY before my tasks. I talk myself out of it. Example … Taking my two Sheps to get their nails cut. I missed my turn, got nervous because I was running late. I talked myself into not taking my pups to their appointment. In return I feel like a bad Dog Mommy!! Anxiety is a BITCH!!
Wow you said Basically something, i discivered before like two years, but in different words. Im working with inner child, and i believe in astrology. Once upon a time some asteologist i know said something "your mars sign isnt about thinking, but about doing" THAT CONPLETELY CHANGED MY MIND and Basically save my life. I couldnt see it like this. I was constantly in some lot of energy i side of me and ať the same time unmotivated.. It was the worst time of my life. now I SEE its like when you have a car/ride/something inside you full of energy, and you just go with it, like in a Race you cant catch it like this. This solved my impulsivity a lot (i dont feel top much pressure in me) bit still i have difficult problems with it because od Rsd, so its again about not taking things so personally Edit: SO we are supost to be like this and when you embrace it, its an OUR gift!!!
I make appointments in the morning to get me out of the house. Even if it’s a small thing, and I didn’t *have* to do it that particular day, just knowing that someone is waiting for me at a place at a certain time gets me out the door to fight the depression. Sometimes it’ll even just be a zoom appointment because at least it gets me out of bed, and by the end of the zoom, I feel more stimulated than the foggy feeling I woke up with. Plus, knowing there are things I need to do to prepare for that appointment gives me the urgency to do them the night before. I also create fake deadlines by emailing my boss and telling them that I’m gonna send them a document I’m supposed to send by a certain time and day. That makes the deadline REAL because someone will now notice if I didn’t do it, so it creates accountability. And if the depression is so bad that I really can’t do a task that seems *so simple,* then I ask myself, “Okay, what CAN I do?” Sometimes the answer is I can brush my teeth or I can put this thing in holding into the kitchen drawer. Moving my body even by a couple of feet, starts the ball rolling-slowly, but then I congratulate myself! Sounds stupid. Works like a charm. Then, suddenly, I can do one more thing and one more thing and one more thing… The brain is a fascinating organ.
I like the tip about breaking the list into smaller bits....but then i get lost in making the list or looking for all the lists ive squirrled away into one list
I just got diagnosed with severe adhd- inattentive at 18. It makes a ton of sense but I still don't know what to do and I'm scared that I wont be able to move out of my parents house and actually live my life. My parents are more mentally ill than I am so im pretty much on my own to deal with it. I really appreciate videos like this and I find them really helpful(these kinds of videos are pretty much all I have to learn about this and try to improve lol). I hope your channel (and the rest of adhd youtube) grows a ton!
How are you doing? If you head over to Udemy and find Alina Kishlenko's course '30 days to the life you deserve', you'll have your good resource and I'm sure you'll be able to do more than just move out of your parents' house
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD by my psychiatrist, but also had that diagnosis reneged through previously being diagnosed with anxiety. But this video reminded me of all the times my ADHD got me in trouble at work, from leaving around (embarrassing) messes, failing to fulfill my work obligations because I get distracted, and “having to constantly be reminded to do my work” (a direct quote from my bosses and teachers over the years). I attribute much of my anxiety to the fact that this has been happening my whole life, and have not had an adequate explanation for why. People would just call me lazy, messy, or unorganized, and that has made me so on edge to try to prevent that.
One issue I always run into is when I break one huge task into mini/simpler task, now my brain sees it at 12 things to do rather than 1.. which makes it even harder to get started. To address this, I spread the 12 mini tasks over the course of the week. Even then, I can’t get the feeling of completing the task because it is taking me a week to complete it. Any tips?
I FEEL this. Unfortunately, I'm also just a human with ADHD, and I struggle with this too. All I can suggest is reminding yourself of the importance of the task. The only way I trick myself into cleaning my bathroom is imagining someone ELSE'S bathroom was that dirty and thinking about how grossed out I'd be. That reminds me how important it is to clean 😅
@@WhatintheADHD To be honest, at least for repetitive tasks that don't require a lot of focus, I just reward myself with listening to my favourite audibook while doing such tasks. Works amazingly well.
Hope it's not too late to share a tip. I read that listening to songs that you enjoy as a child/teen helps make chores more bearable. This is what I do when cleaning.
I’ve been at this for longer than I care to admit. I didn’t get my diagnosis until I was in my 50s. Videos like this will be so helpful for younger people who will then not spend decades chipping away at their self-esteem. Looking back, I will say the positives of ADHD (focus etc) contributed to a successful career, the negatives contributed to mental health issues. All your suggestions are ones I eventually found for myself at huge cost. Your presentation Is perfect for our somewhat literal brains. (By somewhat I mean completely) Neurodivergence is a gift Pat yourself on the back, high five etc - you’re making a difference. Thank you.
1. Make a to-do list. 2. Break down tasks into simpler ones, & tick them as u do them, which releases dopamine. 3. Set rewards after completing some tasks. 4. Use "i want to do this" instead of have to/should. 5. Make the task fun or interesting. 6. Set deadlines. Have someone hold u accountable for those deadlines. 7. Make the task a game or competition.
I like to write down things that need to be done. When the list gets longer and longer, I suddenly don't know what to do anymore. There are also trigger tasks that just reading them makes me unmotivated. What works best is when I start with a task and follow the ideas, but can still maneuver myself to the goal. I have such an aversion to certain things and it might help to start with something different to get me in the mood. Then I can often tackle the unpleasant task much more easily.
I think reframing things you don't want to do by telling yourself "I want to do X because I like this and that about it" is a great strategy. Right now, when I find myself struggling to do something, I reframe the task by finding the reasons why I must do it and who it will truly benefit. But finding reasons that I like about the task that I am doing motivates me because I know I am doing it for myself/my benefit and not just others. Nothing I loathe more than doing something to please others.
I've become my own cheerleader, I've quit talking badly to myself too. I looked myself in the eye in the mirror and saw that poor little girl who has been waiting for me to acknowledge her. Now I treat myself gently and realizing that I have ADHD has answered that lifelong question. So now I talk out loud to myself and I apologize for being mean, and I cheer myself on. It's amazing what I am accomplishing. I'm 61 years old and it's never too late to find yourself and heal! Try looking yourself in the eye and hugging yourself and saying I love you. It's amazing! 🌹❤️
I haven't been diagnosed yet, but the more videos I watch on ADHD the more I'm convinced that I have it, and it's the reason I struggle so much to do anything.
I found that with tasks imposed by someone else, with a deadline in a week or two, that I could get the buzz by getting the damn thing done asap so I could then do something I wanted to do.
I’m going to try the thing with the to do list. Before, I was a student near or at the top of my class in high school. Now, I can’t even bother doing simple homework. I’m starting tonight just by writing down “Go to sleep,” along with breaking down “getting ready for school” and “working out” into different, smaller tasks. I’m turning 18 soon, so I’ve grown anxious about living on my own, going to college, and not being able to manage my ADHD on my own. Thanks for the tips, I’ll implement these into my life one at a time so I don’t overload my tiny brain.
Thank you so much for this awesome video. My dad recently passed away and I’ve been going through personal grieving. With my ADHD, it’s been very hard to focus on all the tasks that needs to be done, especially as the CEO of a company. This was great advice and thank you for making a positive difference in my perspective. God bless !!
I can't hold myself accountable with deadlines, neither can my partner, but it's working with my therapist! I do the things I was supposed to do all week the night before the appointment, which isn't helping me change my behavior but I am getting the important things done now..
I don't know if you have any acting or broadcasting experience, but I just gotta say, you have such a great on-screen presence! So enjoyable to watch. Informative, entertaining, polished, and approachable. Feels like you are "PsyShow host" level good. You have earned a subscriber!
I always have problems with motivation for boring tasks, but occasionally I have days when I have no motivation for anything at all and even when I do something I get like 5% of the usual enjoyment out of it. Even just reaching for a snack from my nightstand takes a ridiculous amount of effort. It's way more severe and all encompassing than ADHD is supposed to be, it feels closer to depression or the negative symptoms of schizophrenia but those don't just come and go. It's really weird and really holds me back in my studies. Meds seem to have no effect on that
You need to speak with your doctor. I lot of people with ADHD have depression as well. The two go hand in hand. You can also get a genetic test to see what medications will work best for you.
@Kell Harris I've been trying to find videos on here about depression and ADD/ADHD. Like if having ADHD/ADD makes it worse or harder to pull out of it. And how to pull out of it if so. Because it's getting annoying but I really feel adhd is making it worse.
I see meds will elevate neuroplasticity but if you make no effort and do nothing, it’ll be like wiring/training yourself to have ever stronger powers to do nothing.
Something that really helps me is using a timer for big tasks. I think another big thing that helps is focusing on one thing at a time. For example, I lost my phone again and notice the bed isn't made, in the past I would be like I need to make the bed now. I'm working on telling myself no I'm looking for my phone and then continue looking for it.
I'm looking at the responses and listening to multiple people with ADHD provide suggestions, I think that a lot of us are still wired fairly different even when we're all considered ADHD. Like, in my case the broken up to-do list was a brilliant idea, the Pomodoro method helps me, but the reward is tricky. If I overstimulate my brain with something I really love like Tik Tok, I'll stay on Tik Tok for the rest of the day and give myself excuses to stay there no matter what. My brain simply will not allow me to put down the higher stimulation for the rest of the day, so I learned to keep my rewards boring. Also if I have a drinking and night, that will be a drinking and chatting night with friends without actually doing the task. What I've found though is, the more tired I am, the harder it is to break the executive dysfunction barrier and actually start or stay on tasks. Actually right now I am supposed to be working, I'm replying to this because I ate my breakfast and now I am writing a whole @ essay about my opinion on this because sharing my hot takes gives me a huge reward. So much so that my life goals have slowly passed by year after year and I am desperate to stop this from continuing.
This makes so much sense. I already do that little list of silly things like, wipe down the bathroom sink, or, fold the laundry- and think about how much I enjoy having my clothes put away nicely. BUT, I still need dopamine- so, I'll put my favorite crime series on while I wash dishes....thank you so much for this valuable info. Yes, I subscribed & hit the like button so you can stay motivated to do your videos. Yay!
Thank you for explaining this. I never understood that adhd was a dopamine issue. I’ve been diagnosed adhd for years . I just recently celebrated my 2 year sobriety and I’ve realized that my adhd has been one of the most negative things in my life. I’m ready to tackle it learn more about how to deal w it besides just taking a pill. This was so helpful!
I've had diagnosed ADHD since I was a little kid but I was never medicated. Hard Deadlines have somehow always worked for me. But now my ADHD paired up with depression and not even absolute final deadlines can motivate me and I don't know what to do anymore :(
I feel this way too. The fear of the consequences of not meeting deadlines used to keep me in line. These days I've literally stopped caring about deadlines and I hate it because I'm neglecting important duties. I'm gonna start bupropion in a few days so hopefully that will help
@@sukiatwal3762Well then you heard crap. ADHD medication is the best researched medication on any mental condition. I recommend watching some lectures by Dr. Russell Barkley. The biggest problem with ADHD medication is the stigma from society, from people who don't understand.
Thank you for this I’m crying. I’ve been struggling my whole life, been on adhd medicine since 6. Still feel like I have nothing figured out. This helps a lot. Thank you again.
Rewarding kids with sugary stuff when they eat or do something they dont want to CAN set them up for disaster. What helps transforming mealtimes back from a powerplay to family time and nutrition is a weekly food plan. E.g. Theres 1-2 times per week sugary desert, no matter what. Theres mealtimes. Outside of that, no snacking. Dont want to finish your meals? Ok, try going hungry. Good for the body as well. But rewarding with sugar is the first step to self medication for kids adhd brain.
After a long time, I watched this whole 10+ minutes of the video, with NO or less wandering of mind. Fully engaging and of course informative. I'll try incorporate things you have said. I've subscribed to your channel. Thanks. Rajan from India.
Second year on piano, and I feel a bit empty inside. There’s no passion for it, yet I love getting up on stage. I really love performing; and I also love writing songs. I’ve been writing a lot right now, and I definitely still see myself doing both of these things. But music, for some reason, my body just says “screw this man”, and leaves me emotionless while playing. I hope it’s because I haven’t performed yet, or need to prove myself, but for some reason, I just think I don’t have it. Which sucks, cause I don’t wanna rely on other people helping me. I also don’t want to give music up. It just sucks.
My reward for finishing you video was that funky cool music you used. I ❤ it. My first video watching you and I haven’t had time to use the tips yet, but I hope they work!
I think the deadlines idea and smaller specific do to lists are great. I didn’t realize it at the time but a few weekends ago the “specific to do’s” helped me tons while cleaning and organizing the house.(which had been getting put off for months) I’m no gonna try the deadlines one at work. I think telling myself that I didn’t get to go to work if I’m late will help me get there. (Also Struggling with a mix of depression and anxiety) As well as working with my boss to make more smaller/specific deadlines will hopefully help me move along on my projects and be excited instead of terrified of the next step. I always see the next step of my projects as a new possibility of messing up :( Thank you so much for these tips❤️
I have never been diagnosed or with ADHD nor have I ever tried to get a diagnosis, but this video really hits home and makes me consider my situation differently and apply different methods to get my brain going. Thank you for this video, I really enjoyed it
I feel so validated on your example of receiving the 40th reminder for paying and keep ignoring it… or know Sth for days and say you need it the last day at night… I usually feel a lot of guilt and shame for this behaviors 😢
what an awesome video. Because of ADHD I have not been able to get through videos from other channels. They are too long and boring. I am watching this one and enjoying it. Well edited and visuals too.
I LOVE this. You don’t even know how much you just helped my quality of life. It’s always such small things that make the biggest difference for me. There’s just not alot of guidance about add/adhd in my life. This is so helpful, i appreciate this!
I was actually able to watch you video without increasing the video speed. I really love the way you communicate your message, thank you for these tips! I will be trying them!
If I even make a list I will dread it even more. A list only works for me at the grocery store. I need music to be playing in order to keep me motivated while cleaning. Looking at a job well done and a clean room gets me excited.
A simple procedure for self-control and wellbeing or 'happiness’ derived from the simple act of resting, and explained through basic affective neuroscience (or dopamine-opioid interactions) The neuropsychology of resting states is generally neglected in cognitive and affective neuroscience as both use methodologies (e.g. brain scans; ‘in vivo’ or direct manipulations of brain cells), that cannot account for afferent inputs from the musculature that induce affective states. Yet a neuroscientific explanation of rest is arguably key to our capacity for self-motivation and a sense of purpose and positive feeling or happiness. This can be explained through elementary observations from affective neuroscience and demonstrated procedurally. Rest, or the generalized inactivity of the covert musculature, is simple to describe as a somatic or bodily state, but is much more complex as a neurophysiological state. For one thing, it is pleasurable. The reduction of perseverative cognition (worry, regret, distraction) through meditation, eyes closed rest, or just walking on a beach thinking of nothing gives the musculature the time to completely relax, and this state of persistent or profound relaxation elicits a state of pleasure or mild euphoria due to the concomitant and sustained elicitation of endogenous opioids (or endorphins) in the brain. The sustained increase of endogenous opioids also down regulates opioid receptors, and thus inhibits the salience or reward value of other substances (food, alcohol, drugs) that otherwise increase opioid levels, and therefore reduces cravings. Profound relaxation also mitigates our sensitivity to pain and inhibits tension. In this way, relaxation causes pleasure, enhances self-control, counteracts and inhibits stress, reduces pain, and provides for a feeling of satisfaction and equanimity that is the hallmark of the so-called meditative state. However, pleasure from a neural viewpoint is not a simple thing. Groups of opioid neurons or ‘nuclei’ populate a tiny region of the neural real estate in the midbrain, and as ‘hot spots’ are collectively no larger than the eraser on a pencil. Yet they are highly sensitive to inputs from different sources in the brain. One of the primary inputs come from dopaminergic neurons, whose nuclei are adjacent to opioid neurons. The axons for dopaminergic neurons project from the midbrain to the cortex, and dopamine systems are highly sensitive to cortically processed information, namely novel and positive act-outcome expectancies or surprises that populate our days. Dopamine is a neuromodulator, or a type of neurotransmitter that activates arrays of neurons in the cortex, and is responsible for learning and motivation. Dopamine induces attentive arousal, but not pleasure, but it can indirectly increase pleasure if it occurs concurrently with the co-activation of opioid systems. For example, eat a very tasty treat, and dopamine activity will increase as you snap to attention in response to the pleasure. Conversely, the florid description of a bottle of wine will make the wine taste better because of an increase in dopaminergic activity that in turn increases opioid levels in the brain (this is also the mechanism behind the placebo effect where positive expectations change affect). In sum, opioid and dopamine systems are synergistic, and if concurrently activated will co-activate each other. So what does this have to do with resting and motivation? Since resting protocols (e.g. mindfulness, eyes closed rest, meditation) induce opioid activity, that activity will be accentuated if an individual concurrently and persistently thinks of and pursues meaningful behavior (meaning will be defined as thinking of or doing actions that have branching novel positive implications, or a variant of positive thinking). Since meaningful behavior induces dopamine release, this establishes a ‘virtuous’ neurological circuit, when rest can be merged with meaning and lead to pleasurably aroused states or even ecstasy. We can infer these processes from variants of meditation such as ‘loving kindness’ meditation and savoring, as well as peak and ‘flow’ experiences where highly meaningful activity is coupled with non-stressed or resting states. Above all, meaningful behavior is productive behavior that has positive novel and unfolding implications, and when persistently associated with positive affect from rest, can become in a sense ‘autotelic’ or rewarding in itself, allowing us to control our behavior through self-induced positive affect. By coming to terms with the neurologic reality of relaxation, we can realize it’s possibilities as essential to daily life and to self-control that make life worthwhile, pleasurable, productive, and ‘happy’. Authors Note You can pursue a much more expansive argument for a lay audience in my two open-source books and journal article below on the psychology of rest and the psychology of incentive motivation. Also, my arguments above are not new science, but a new interpretation of the research of the distinguished affective neuroscientist Kent Berridge of the University of Michigan, who was kind to vet my books for accuracy and to provide endorsements in their preface. Meditation and Rest- The American Psychologist/David Holmes www.scribd.com/document/291558160/Holmes-Meditation-and-Rest-The-American-Psychologist The Psychology of Rest and Meditation, from the International Journal of Stress Management, by this author www.scribd.com/doc/121345732/Relaxation-and-Muscular-Tension-A-bio-behavioristic-explanation For an excellent take on opioid and dopamine systems and how they act and interact, see The Joyful Mind: Kringelbach and Berridge sites.lsa.umich.edu/berridge-lab/wp-content/uploads/sites/743/2019/10/Kringelbach-Berridge-2012-Joyful-mind-Sci-Am.pdf A more formal explanation of this procedure from affective neuroscience is provided on pp. 44-52 in a little open-source book on the psychology of rest linked below. Flow is discussed on pp. 82-87 www.scribd.com/doc/284056765/The-Book-of-Rest-The-Odd-Psychology-of-Doing-Nothing ‘A Mouse’s Tale’ Learning theory for a lay audience from the perspective of modern affective neuroscience www.scribd.com/document/495438436/A-Mouse-s-Tale-a-practical-explanation-and-handbook-of-motivation-from-the-perspective-of-a-humble-creature Berridge Lab sites.lsa.umich.edu/berridge-lab/
You're extremely sweet and seem like such a genuine person;) but ngl I almost clicked off when u said the list bc I'm so stubborn and apparently I don't want to get better but I'm rly happy I stayed. Just the way u explained it literally just made me feel motivated for a sec, cuz I'm like wait, I can do this with hw. So on, but thank you ❤️❤️❤️I haven't felt that in a while lmao
This works. I totally do this. I also guess how long the most dreaded tasks then try to meet or beat the timer. Another tip is from Dana White…I take a pic of my space before then after to show myself how much the space improved. Keep making the videos girl. This will help who needs it!❤❤❤
Just wanted to say thanks for making this video. Your goals list made me realize how important making a goals list before the next day is so important to my routine and overall wellbeing of the day for when I have to get things done.
I cannot say HOW helpful this is to me right now. You've just reminded me of why I was so hyper focused as a kid. I've questioned my own adhd diagnosis because I never struggled with dophamine deficiency as a child. But now looking back I had tonnes of it because I did many of these strategies. Especially the one with the to-do list. Thank you so much for reminding me ❤
This video really made sense to me, I made a list this morning before watching this video, just to force myself to get things done today. Maybe on my next list will be to make a appointment with the doctor to get diagnosed
This is the first time ever I feel like I actually understand my own ADHD. This made me feel a lot more in control of my day. Thank you so much for explaining this in such a relatable & entertaining way. So happy I found your channel!💕
Hi everyone, right now I am soooo demotivated on a certain task... Thank you so much for your video's, they really are a BIG help :) And lets remember ONE thing : People with ADHD have heard "don't do this, don't do that" all their life, kids with ADHD have heard those words like 20K times more than kids without ADHD. NEVER forget the positive sides of ADHD, because that is what makes us special, even though the world around us may not always be able to follow our brains :):)
Omg that is SO me! I was only officially diagnosed as combined adhd at 44 (😢) but somehow I managed to find those solutions on my own, and YES diving tasks into micro tasks so I can cross more off my daily to-do list works so well!!🎉 Thanks for this video, It is such a relief to know I am not alone!!
1. Make to-do list, but break it up in to smaller, more specific tasks. Lots of happy dopamine check marks ✅️ 2. Reward/celebrate little wins! 5 tasks = 1 line of cocaine or 1 peice of candy or 3 cat hugs 3. Avoid should/need/have. Brain says "no!" Use "want" and think of positivite ( alive animals, no body stench, clean taco holders for tuesday) 4. Make task fun and interesting when able. Exp: drink and pay bills... 5. Set deadlines with accountability buddy. 6. Make task in to a game or competition.
Funny thing is, as a man, "Need to" awakens this sort of stoic male reward center of my brain where I feel like I am taking care of things and being a man. So it's oddly useful for me to say to myself, "I need to do this" rather than "I want to", especially considering how often I've been told that the self pursuit of pleasure is inherently wrong.
@@GoldenEmperor5Manifest I hear you. The two are actually combined because they both uphold the belief that you *want* to have about who you are (your "Identity;" concept taught in Atomic Habits): "Because my desired / purported *identity* , a Stoic Man, is that of one who *should* sacrifice his own pleasure for the service or betterment of the lives of others, I *want* to do this: ____(task)_____ . Because doing ____(task)_____ is something that a Stoic Man would do. It upholds, confirms, bolsters, and/or affirms the belief about myself: that I am a Stoic Man"
What worked for my ADHD was gamifying in my mind the stance of making everything ridiculously ahead of the deadlines. Not sure if I can explain it perfectly, but my brain gets NOTHING out of getting the thing done in time. Usually that means something like 4 am before the deadline morning. In the end I just feel like crap about the whole thing even though I finished the thing during an all-nighter at the last possible moment. No, I need to gamify it and make it a competition. I know that may sound unhealthy but that gets my brain ticking. "Okay this is a competition against your brain or the other people with the same task. This is a game and you're about to win it." I might get hyperfocus kick in after I really get into it. Just something to try for y'all.
can you explain it a bit more, feels like youre on to something, can you give an example. Say I need to make tik tok vids, no timeline or deadline, no urgency but it could potentially change my life in the future, how do I gamify that?
I haven’t cared for my mental and emotional health in terms of staying aligned and motivated, I’ll try some of these out thank you for the learning experience 🙏🏾.
I love what you said about not letting our brains develop a negative association with a task. That's a biggie, but oh man, if I took sips of margarita or wine as a reward, I'd never get anything done, and I'd be getting myself in big trouble. Us ADHers need to be careful of too much alcohol consumption anyways. Our brains are always craving those dopamine hits so we need to be careful with stuff like that sometimes. I'd rather be hooked on puzzles, video games, or watching shows. I like motivational videos (like this one) and how to videos.
Thank you so much! I have so little dopamine, my head actually feels numb. I have asked for an extension on my project though I'm pretending it's not there, but it's good to know it's there 🙂 I have actually been very strict with myself about getting started, but it's maintaining focus and not constantly changing my mind on the research I have spent hours doing! I'm going to break it down on the next steps up get it completed and prioritize what needs to go in. Thanks again!
Sydni, you have no idea how glad I am to find your channel. Your videos are such great help! If you ever feel like you are demotivated to make these videos, just say it in your upcoming vid so that we can give some love through our comments! Love from Malaysia
A thing that worked for me: I had to do a lot of translation to prepare for an exam and the inner resistance was ... HUGE. Then luckily the inspiration struck me and I did it at 2 a. m. with no music on, no electric light on, in the light of a single candle. Felt like doing something forbidden, like a child reading under the blankets while it should be sleeping.
try finishing the easiest tasks first then either breakdown the hardest task to smaller tasks or look at it as the final push to be free for the day , and also try making your life easier if taking a shortcut will finish the task faster and at the same quality then take it , approach the tasks from the easiest path
Hey I just wanted to say I appreciate what you're doing, and also the way you're doing these vids... Subscribed and will be watching more. I just recently learned I have ADHD at 36, it's been such a big lightning bolt moment, head spinning with how much this all makes sense.
The best part about these lists is thinking “even if I stop halfway, I got at least 50% done which means even if I’m not living in the clearest environment I have a house that’s 50% clean” idk if it’s just me but that motivates me to keep pushing until at least some 80-90% sometimes I do it all. I told my therapist that it feels like there’s a little kid and a responsible adult living in my brain at all times and I have to constantly find things to excite the kid enough to get things done until it throws a tantrum and I have to stop.
Thank you for talking so fast!!👏🏼👏🏼 most videos I have to speed up 1.5x or even 2x to stay focused on it. But you kept me interested and focused the whole time. I didn’t even register how much it helped until I started watching a different video and zoned out almost immediately haha. It’s like you understand us or something 😉 anyways thanks! Instant subscriber.
I wish the conents of your video could be incorporated into official clinical treatments for ADHD! This stuff is so helpful! I notice that in most cases when it comes to things like depression or anxiety, there seems to be an understanding that just giving a person drugs won't get to the root of the issue, and the combination of drugs to suppress symptoms and also therapy to tackle the root of the issue are both needed for therapeutic benefits. With ADHD, they just give you drugs and expect you to figure it all out on your own. I feel like it's such a double standard. I don't understand why therapies to help people establish routines, habits, etc. based on strategies you mention in this video aren't a standard thing for ADHD treatment. Thank you for sharing, I'm excited to incorporate some of these strategies! :)
What a fantastic video! You are a natural teacher! I’m amazed you found it hard to motivate yourself to make such a great video, but at least you know what you are talking about!
Being on a video chat with a friend has helped me a lot! My friend and eye create products and she's a self motivator with 3 small children and she's always making things. So when eye find myself having a hard time getting motivated, eye ask when she's available and we just werk together on the phone! So maybe finding a video chat buddy that doesn't mind just being on the phone with you while you get things done !
Just found this. 😃 Myself and my adult kids have ADHD. I only knew about my son 10 years ago when he was diagnosed but now I realize that myself and my daughters also have ADHD. It’s such a relief to learn about dopamine!
I have a list on my phone that is “list of things that I accomplished”. So by the end of the day I can look at all this things I did and say yay! I was more productive than I thought I was. Also with that I taught my self even though the list was small for that day I still celebrate my little wins.
Ok, so I need to finish my thesis which is due in 3 days. I was diagnosed 5-6 years ago since it wasn't that much of a struggle until I got to university. I've been clearly struggling but I'm good so I managed to finish each task the due day or the next day, teachers rarely refused to accept my essays even though I used to be late, so I could get by. Ok, but now. NOW. I'm really going to tear myself apart. This mf thesis is not something I can do in a day, as I've almost always done with all these university-related things. I've tried multiple approaches to trick myself into getting it done (like making a list with many bullet points per day). I still can't. And moreover, my last resource has always been that rush of adrenaline, from the closer you get to the due date. I wish I didn't rely on this though. I've done a bit since I had to give my adviser some advance. I still need to get 4 chapters done. I will update on what got me to finish this nightmare, or how did I manage this time. Wish me luck pls guys P.D.: So, I hadn't finished the video before writing this and I was struggling with that 10:00 point this vid talked about. I feel I little better now. Thank u girl
I hear you - I ended up postponing my defense that was supposed to happen on July 21 after I had my second miscarriage on the 7th. Even before that, I fought with myself DAILY to just get ONE paragraph written. I wasn't in the right mindset, so I needed to take a step back. And that's ok to do if you know that you're not functioning at your best. Of course, I'm not telling you to quit; I'm saying to power through this LAST bit if you can, but rest if you absolutely must. And for what it's worth, you seem like you're more than capable of powering through this. But I wish you the best of luck. I have a hunch that you'll have a good update for us soon. 🥰🤞🏽
Rewards equate to indulgences. Would you agree? Well, I'm a self-critical perfectionist on top of (presumed) ADHD. So, I feel guilty, inadequate, not good enough, I could be better, for giving myself rewards / indulgences. Now that I've heard your talk (great, btw. THANK YOU), I know that I live in a self imposed world of "should." I should be/do better --> at all times. I think what I need to develop is a mindset that allows rewards / indulgences to be "ok" if they are earned. I need to define my progress before hand with more planning; more lists. Lists define what we want. I have trouble defining what I want. I havn't gotten to the root of why I struggle with this, but I think it may be because, if I were to define what I want, then I would have a mirror to hold up to myself and see that I am not measuring up... I need to be in a group of people like myself. People who want more, but stay in their heads too much and isolate. I don't want to isolate, but I feel like a burden if I blab about these feelings to "normies."
The first time i tried to talk to a therapist about how i couldn’t even cook a meal for myself, she literally said “it’s not that hard! Throw some shrimp on a skillet! Go on TH-cam and find recipes!” I was so irked and felt so dismissed.
Do you so cbt? Also is important to find a therapist with empathetic approach. Dont feel bad about yourself unfortunately alot of therapist are like that...
Excellent strategy for motivation teenagers. I used this for mine. WORKS!! I'd tell him to wash and clean the bathroom but make it fun put some music in there away from the shower area outside the door so you hear it and get in there and scrub it up have some fun with it. It always worked
@@sukiatwal3762 with vyvanse, I got very bad leg cramps. With adderall, I got dizzy spells, heart palps, occasional sharp head pains, odd depersonalization experiences.
One problem I run into with the rewards system is once I get started I go “oh 5 more minutes” for hours and nothing else gets done
I use “can do” because “want to” isn’t always sincere. After making a list, I try to do 2 things in the same room of my apartment
When it comes to cleaning, I find that taking a before and after picture of the task I have to do really helps with motivation
Thanks for this. I might try it.
also thinking about the possible health issues from not cleaning
@@moejoththat doesn't help honestly
Because those health issues take time to happen
If it's something that'll happen immediately then I'd definitely clean up
omg i do this too! i love sitting in my now clean room just flipping back and forth between the before and after shots, it's like a little reward :D
I do that as well. Nobody gets to see the' before' pics though. They are hideous.
Best things that actually work:
Wake up at the same time.
Get excercise
Drink water
Meditate
And the biggest one:
Keep a do it now/fall into action mentality. Don't try to do something by thinking to do it. Let your body take the action, not your mind.
For example say you have to clean your room. Don't focus on thinking, "C'mon I need to clean my room " instead clear your as much as possible and then let yourself start doing the task. It's like putting yourself it auto mode or readjusting to the trail rail to move forward.
Most of the diffulcuty doesn't actually from motivation issues, it actually comes from anxiety which prevents us from taking action.
The good thing is that the more you are able to do this, the more a flow you will be able to achieve, making way more productive.
Omg thank you so much for sharing this. I have experienced in the past but I don’t think I ever realized why sometimes I can just do things and other times I get paralyzed. I’ve bee having a really difficult time recently getting some pretty urgent things done and it has making me feel so depressed. I’m gonna try this approach today. 🙏🏼
ANXIETY IS REAL!! Thank you for this. I do feel ANXIETY before my tasks. I talk myself out of it. Example … Taking my two Sheps to get their nails cut. I missed my turn, got nervous because I was running late. I talked myself into not taking my pups to their appointment. In return I feel like a bad Dog Mommy!! Anxiety is a BITCH!!
This! This been helping me, cant motivate myself enough to exercise still but the do it now/ fall into action mentality helps a lot
Yes! Anticatory anxiety is a huge factor.
Wow you said Basically something, i discivered before like two years, but in different words. Im working with inner child, and i believe in astrology. Once upon a time some asteologist i know said something "your mars sign isnt about thinking, but about doing" THAT CONPLETELY CHANGED MY MIND and Basically save my life. I couldnt see it like this. I was constantly in some lot of energy i side of me and ať the same time unmotivated.. It was the worst time of my life.
now I SEE its like when you have a car/ride/something inside you full of energy, and you just go with it, like in a Race you cant catch it like this. This solved my impulsivity a lot (i dont feel top much pressure in me) bit still i have difficult problems with it because od Rsd, so its again about not taking things so personally
Edit: SO we are supost to be like this and when you embrace it, its an OUR gift!!!
I make appointments in the morning to get me out of the house. Even if it’s a small thing, and I didn’t *have* to do it that particular day, just knowing that someone is waiting for me at a place at a certain time gets me out the door to fight the depression. Sometimes it’ll even just be a zoom appointment because at least it gets me out of bed, and by the end of the zoom, I feel more stimulated than the foggy feeling I woke up with. Plus, knowing there are things I need to do to prepare for that appointment gives me the urgency to do them the night before. I also create fake deadlines by emailing my boss and telling them that I’m gonna send them a document I’m supposed to send by a certain time and day. That makes the deadline REAL because someone will now notice if I didn’t do it, so it creates accountability. And if the depression is so bad that I really can’t do a task that seems *so simple,* then I ask myself, “Okay, what CAN I do?” Sometimes the answer is I can brush my teeth or I can put this thing in holding into the kitchen drawer. Moving my body even by a couple of feet, starts the ball rolling-slowly, but then I congratulate myself! Sounds stupid. Works like a charm. Then, suddenly, I can do one more thing and one more thing and one more thing… The brain is a fascinating organ.
Listening to books I like while doing housework works for me.
I love crossing things off my list.
Sometimes I even added things I already did just to cross it off
Hahahaha I do that too! Glad I’m not the only one 😂
Hahahahaaa I didn't even notice I was doing the same thing until I read your comment X love it
I like the tip about breaking the list into smaller bits....but then i get lost in making the list or looking for all the lists ive squirrled away into one list
I just got diagnosed with severe adhd- inattentive at 18. It makes a ton of sense but I still don't know what to do and I'm scared that I wont be able to move out of my parents house and actually live my life. My parents are more mentally ill than I am so im pretty much on my own to deal with it. I really appreciate videos like this and I find them really helpful(these kinds of videos are pretty much all I have to learn about this and try to improve lol). I hope your channel (and the rest of adhd youtube) grows a ton!
How are you doing?
If you head over to Udemy and find Alina Kishlenko's course '30 days to the life you deserve', you'll have your good resource and I'm sure you'll be able to do more than just move out of your parents' house
I wish you the best🙏🏻💪🏻
Medication is not always a bad choice
I was recently diagnosed with ADHD by my psychiatrist, but also had that diagnosis reneged through previously being diagnosed with anxiety. But this video reminded me of all the times my ADHD got me in trouble at work, from leaving around (embarrassing) messes, failing to fulfill my work obligations because I get distracted, and “having to constantly be reminded to do my work” (a direct quote from my bosses and teachers over the years). I attribute much of my anxiety to the fact that this has been happening my whole life, and have not had an adequate explanation for why. People would just call me lazy, messy, or unorganized, and that has made me so on edge to try to prevent that.
One issue I always run into is when I break one huge task into mini/simpler task, now my brain sees it at 12 things to do rather than 1.. which makes it even harder to get started. To address this, I spread the 12 mini tasks over the course of the week. Even then, I can’t get the feeling of completing the task because it is taking me a week to complete it. Any tips?
I FEEL this. Unfortunately, I'm also just a human with ADHD, and I struggle with this too. All I can suggest is reminding yourself of the importance of the task. The only way I trick myself into cleaning my bathroom is imagining someone ELSE'S bathroom was that dirty and thinking about how grossed out I'd be. That reminds me how important it is to clean 😅
@@WhatintheADHD To be honest, at least for repetitive tasks that don't require a lot of focus, I just reward myself with listening to my favourite audibook while doing such tasks. Works amazingly well.
Set time goals and use pomodoro method or something similar
I found my people.😭🥺
Hope it's not too late to share a tip. I read that listening to songs that you enjoy as a child/teen helps make chores more bearable. This is what I do when cleaning.
Bingo! One step at a time. 62 years struggling with this stuff now.
Been diagnosed since I was twenty and have procrastinated till forty four , thank you for your simple explanations
I totally understand what that is.😊
U spend 24 years??
I’ve been at this for longer than I care to admit. I didn’t get my diagnosis until I was in my 50s. Videos like this will be so helpful for younger people who will then not spend decades chipping away at their self-esteem. Looking back, I will say the positives of ADHD (focus etc) contributed to a successful career, the negatives contributed to mental health issues. All your suggestions are ones I eventually found for myself at huge cost. Your presentation Is perfect for our somewhat literal brains. (By somewhat I mean completely) Neurodivergence is a gift
Pat yourself on the back, high five etc - you’re making a difference.
Thank you.
1. Make a to-do list.
2. Break down tasks into simpler ones, & tick them as u do them, which releases dopamine.
3. Set rewards after completing some tasks.
4. Use "i want to do this" instead of have to/should.
5. Make the task fun or interesting.
6. Set deadlines. Have someone hold u accountable for those deadlines.
7. Make the task a game or competition.
I like to write down things that need to be done.
When the list gets longer and longer, I suddenly don't know what to do anymore.
There are also trigger tasks that just reading them makes me unmotivated.
What works best is when I start with a task and follow the ideas, but can still maneuver myself to the goal.
I have such an aversion to certain things and it might help to start with something different to get me in the mood. Then I can often tackle the unpleasant task much more easily.
Listening to a youtube video, listening to a favourite tv series, or podcast/speech reallyyyy helps with tasks.
I think reframing things you don't want to do by telling yourself "I want to do X because I like this and that about it" is a great strategy. Right now, when I find myself struggling to do something, I reframe the task by finding the reasons why I must do it and who it will truly benefit. But finding reasons that I like about the task that I am doing motivates me because I know I am doing it for myself/my benefit and not just others. Nothing I loathe more than doing something to please others.
I've become my own cheerleader, I've quit talking badly to myself too. I looked myself in the eye in the mirror and saw that poor little girl who has been waiting for me to acknowledge her. Now I treat myself gently and realizing that I have ADHD has answered that lifelong question. So now I talk out loud to myself and I apologize for being mean, and I cheer myself on. It's amazing what I am accomplishing. I'm 61 years old and it's never too late to find yourself and heal! Try looking yourself in the eye and hugging yourself and saying I love you. It's amazing! 🌹❤️
I haven't been diagnosed yet, but the more videos I watch on ADHD the more I'm convinced that I have it, and it's the reason I struggle so much to do anything.
me too. i know what i need to/should/must do but there's a wire somewhere that's disconnected
Literally!!
I found that with tasks imposed by someone else, with a deadline in a week or two, that I could get the buzz by getting the damn thing done asap so I could then do something I wanted to do.
I’m going to try the thing with the to do list. Before, I was a student near or at the top of my class in high school. Now, I can’t even bother doing simple homework. I’m starting tonight just by writing down “Go to sleep,” along with breaking down “getting ready for school” and “working out” into different, smaller tasks. I’m turning 18 soon, so I’ve grown anxious about living on my own, going to college, and not being able to manage my ADHD on my own. Thanks for the tips, I’ll implement these into my life one at a time so I don’t overload my tiny brain.
Thank you so much for this awesome video. My dad recently passed away and I’ve been going through personal grieving. With my ADHD, it’s been very hard to focus on all the tasks that needs to be done, especially as the CEO of a company.
This was great advice and thank you for making a positive difference in my perspective. God bless !!
I can't hold myself accountable with deadlines, neither can my partner, but it's working with my therapist! I do the things I was supposed to do all week the night before the appointment, which isn't helping me change my behavior but I am getting the important things done now..
Same here... I like to prep the day before I have an appointment or due date.
I don't know if you have any acting or broadcasting experience, but I just gotta say, you have such a great on-screen presence!
So enjoyable to watch. Informative, entertaining, polished, and approachable. Feels like you are "PsyShow host" level good. You have earned a subscriber!
THIS IS THE BEST COMPLIMENT, THANK YOU!! I've recently thought about trying to get into voice acting, but didn't know if I had what it takes!
maybe that could be another tip: pretend you're making your own videos while cleaning, paying bills etc. explain out loud as you go!
The to-do list got me through nursing school. Every class I completely, I checked off. It felt so good. Now, I'm doing it now with my sons homework.
I always have problems with motivation for boring tasks, but occasionally I have days when I have no motivation for anything at all and even when I do something I get like 5% of the usual enjoyment out of it. Even just reaching for a snack from my nightstand takes a ridiculous amount of effort.
It's way more severe and all encompassing than ADHD is supposed to be, it feels closer to depression or the negative symptoms of schizophrenia but those don't just come and go. It's really weird and really holds me back in my studies. Meds seem to have no effect on that
You need to speak with your doctor. I lot of people with ADHD have depression as well. The two go hand in hand. You can also get a genetic test to see what medications will work best for you.
@Kell Harris I've been trying to find videos on here about depression and ADD/ADHD. Like if having ADHD/ADD makes it worse or harder to pull out of it. And how to pull out of it if so. Because it's getting annoying but I really feel adhd is making it worse.
wow this is my experience word for word
I see meds will elevate neuroplasticity but if you make no effort and do nothing, it’ll be like wiring/training yourself to have ever stronger powers to do nothing.
Thank you for making thos video
I hope you still enjoy making them!
Something that really helps me is using a timer for big tasks. I think another big thing that helps is focusing on one thing at a time. For example, I lost my phone again and notice the bed isn't made, in the past I would be like I need to make the bed now. I'm working on telling myself no I'm looking for my phone and then continue looking for it.
I like the idea of "paying bills parties", or turning any unpleasant (boring) tasks into a rave to get you motivated. Nicely done. ;)
I can just imagine a living room full of people calmly doing they taxes with rave lights and music in the background
I can only clean if I turn on up beat dance music. I'll go through every genre and every decade. I'll be cleaning for hours.
I'm looking at the responses and listening to multiple people with ADHD provide suggestions, I think that a lot of us are still wired fairly different even when we're all considered ADHD.
Like, in my case the broken up to-do list was a brilliant idea, the Pomodoro method helps me, but the reward is tricky. If I overstimulate my brain with something I really love like Tik Tok, I'll stay on Tik Tok for the rest of the day and give myself excuses to stay there no matter what. My brain simply will not allow me to put down the higher stimulation for the rest of the day, so I learned to keep my rewards boring.
Also if I have a drinking and night, that will be a drinking and chatting night with friends without actually doing the task.
What I've found though is, the more tired I am, the harder it is to break the executive dysfunction barrier and actually start or stay on tasks. Actually right now I am supposed to be working, I'm replying to this because I ate my breakfast and now I am writing a whole @ essay about my opinion on this because sharing my hot takes gives me a huge reward. So much so that my life goals have slowly passed by year after year and I am desperate to stop this from continuing.
This makes so much sense. I already do that little list of silly things like, wipe down the bathroom sink, or, fold the laundry- and think about how much I enjoy having my clothes put away nicely. BUT, I still need dopamine- so, I'll put my favorite crime series on while I wash dishes....thank you so much for this valuable info. Yes, I subscribed & hit the like button so you can stay motivated to do your videos. Yay!
Thank you for explaining this. I never understood that adhd was a dopamine issue. I’ve been diagnosed adhd for years . I just recently celebrated my 2 year sobriety and I’ve realized that my adhd has been one of the most negative things in my life. I’m ready to tackle it learn more about how to deal w it besides just taking a pill. This was so helpful!
Congratulations on your sobriety! That's amazing! And ADHD makes sobriety hard...so double congrats!
I've had diagnosed ADHD since I was a little kid but I was never medicated. Hard Deadlines have somehow always worked for me. But now my ADHD paired up with depression and not even absolute final deadlines can motivate me and I don't know what to do anymore :(
Medication it was life changing for me
I feel this way too. The fear of the consequences of not meeting deadlines used to keep me in line. These days I've literally stopped caring about deadlines and I hate it because I'm neglecting important duties. I'm gonna start bupropion in a few days so hopefully that will help
@@shreyabollock1245 what about the side affects of it...I heard when you come off or it can alter the chemicals in your brain
@@sukiatwal3762Well then you heard crap. ADHD medication is the best researched medication on any mental condition. I recommend watching some lectures by Dr. Russell Barkley.
The biggest problem with ADHD medication is the stigma from society, from people who don't understand.
thank you so so much, i’ve been so sad recently because of the way i am, but you’ve made me feel supported. will use these tips tomorrow ❤️
Thank you for this I’m crying. I’ve been struggling my whole life, been on adhd medicine since 6. Still feel like I have nothing figured out. This helps a lot. Thank you again.
Please publish more videos. I love them.
loving the video so far, thank you, thank you for the tips!!!! Best one yet!!! So glad, you made the video!!
Rewarding kids with sugary stuff when they eat or do something they dont want to CAN set them up for disaster. What helps transforming mealtimes back from a powerplay to family time and nutrition is a weekly food plan. E.g. Theres 1-2 times per week sugary desert, no matter what. Theres mealtimes. Outside of that, no snacking. Dont want to finish your meals? Ok, try going hungry. Good for the body as well. But rewarding with sugar is the first step to self medication for kids adhd brain.
After a long time, I watched this whole 10+ minutes of the video, with NO or less wandering of mind. Fully engaging and of course informative. I'll try incorporate things you have said. I've subscribed to your channel. Thanks. Rajan from India.
🥰🥰🥰
Second year on piano, and I feel a bit empty inside. There’s no passion for it, yet I love getting up on stage. I really love performing; and I also love writing songs. I’ve been writing a lot right now, and I definitely still see myself doing both of these things. But music, for some reason, my body just says “screw this man”, and leaves me emotionless while playing.
I hope it’s because I haven’t performed yet, or need to prove myself, but for some reason, I just think I don’t have it. Which sucks, cause I don’t wanna rely on other people helping me. I also don’t want to give music up. It just sucks.
You should commit to a performance at a retirement home during their meals. Motivation, low stress . I’m a piano teacher.
My reward for finishing you video was that funky cool music you used. I ❤ it. My first video watching you and I haven’t had time to use the tips yet, but I hope they work!
Your videos are super helpful. ❤
You explain these long enough for me to focus on this video AND now I understand the lack of motivation and dopamine-thank you!
I think the deadlines idea and smaller specific do to lists are great. I didn’t realize it at the time but a few weekends ago the “specific to do’s” helped me tons while cleaning and organizing the house.(which had been getting put off for months)
I’m no gonna try the deadlines one at work. I think telling myself that I didn’t get to go to work if I’m late will help me get there. (Also Struggling with a mix of depression and anxiety) As well as working with my boss to make more smaller/specific deadlines will hopefully help me move along on my projects and be excited instead of terrified of the next step. I always see the next step of my projects as a new possibility of messing up :(
Thank you so much for these tips❤️
I have never been diagnosed or with ADHD nor have I ever tried to get a diagnosis, but this video really hits home and makes me consider my situation differently and apply different methods to get my brain going.
Thank you for this video, I really enjoyed it
I feel so validated on your example of receiving the 40th reminder for paying and keep ignoring it… or know Sth for days and say you need it the last day at night… I usually feel a lot of guilt and shame for this behaviors 😢
What an underated video , really informative and great over all . Thank you
what an awesome video. Because of ADHD I have not been able to get through videos from other channels. They are too long and boring. I am watching this one and enjoying it. Well edited and visuals too.
That you so much for making this video. I am genuinely excited to try out these strategies
Good luck!
I LOVE this. You don’t even know how much you just helped my quality of life. It’s always such small things that make the biggest difference for me. There’s just not alot of guidance about add/adhd in my life. This is so helpful, i appreciate this!
Watching this is motivating for me! Makes me feel like I could actually accomplish something today 😅 Thank you for making this!
I was actually able to watch you video without increasing the video speed. I really love the way you communicate your message, thank you for these tips! I will be trying them!
Thanks for taking the time to tell me this!! I hope you're able to get stuff done soon!!❤
Breaking bigger tasks into super tiny tasks really helps. Once you get started you will find it easy to do more tasks.
If I even make a list I will dread it even more. A list only works for me at the grocery store.
I need music to be playing in order to keep me motivated while cleaning. Looking at a job well done and a clean room gets me excited.
A simple procedure for self-control and wellbeing or 'happiness’ derived from the simple act of resting, and explained through basic affective neuroscience (or dopamine-opioid interactions)
The neuropsychology of resting states is generally neglected in cognitive and affective neuroscience as both use methodologies (e.g. brain scans; ‘in vivo’ or direct manipulations of brain cells), that cannot account for afferent inputs from the musculature that induce affective states. Yet a neuroscientific explanation of rest is arguably key to our capacity for self-motivation and a sense of purpose and positive feeling or happiness. This can be explained through elementary observations from affective neuroscience and demonstrated procedurally.
Rest, or the generalized inactivity of the covert musculature, is simple to describe as a somatic or bodily state, but is much more complex as a neurophysiological state. For one thing, it is pleasurable. The reduction of perseverative cognition (worry, regret, distraction) through meditation, eyes closed rest, or just walking on a beach thinking of nothing gives the musculature the time to completely relax, and this state of persistent or profound relaxation elicits a state of pleasure or mild euphoria due to the concomitant and sustained elicitation of endogenous opioids (or endorphins) in the brain. The sustained increase of endogenous opioids also down regulates opioid receptors, and thus inhibits the salience or reward value of other substances (food, alcohol, drugs) that otherwise increase opioid levels, and therefore reduces cravings. Profound relaxation also mitigates our sensitivity to pain and inhibits tension. In this way, relaxation causes pleasure, enhances self-control, counteracts and inhibits stress, reduces pain, and provides for a feeling of satisfaction and equanimity that is the hallmark of the so-called meditative state.
However, pleasure from a neural viewpoint is not a simple thing. Groups of opioid neurons or ‘nuclei’ populate a tiny region of the neural real estate in the midbrain, and as ‘hot spots’ are collectively no larger than the eraser on a pencil. Yet they are highly sensitive to inputs from different sources in the brain. One of the primary inputs come from dopaminergic neurons, whose nuclei are adjacent to opioid neurons. The axons for dopaminergic neurons project from the midbrain to the cortex, and dopamine systems are highly sensitive to cortically processed information, namely novel and positive act-outcome expectancies or surprises that populate our days. Dopamine is a neuromodulator, or a type of neurotransmitter that activates arrays of neurons in the cortex, and is responsible for learning and motivation. Dopamine induces attentive arousal, but not pleasure, but it can indirectly increase pleasure if it occurs concurrently with the co-activation of opioid systems. For example, eat a very tasty treat, and dopamine activity will increase as you snap to attention in response to the pleasure. Conversely, the florid description of a bottle of wine will make the wine taste better because of an increase in dopaminergic activity that in turn increases opioid levels in the brain (this is also the mechanism behind the placebo effect where positive expectations change affect). In sum, opioid and dopamine systems are synergistic, and if concurrently activated will co-activate each other.
So what does this have to do with resting and motivation?
Since resting protocols (e.g. mindfulness, eyes closed rest, meditation) induce opioid activity, that activity will be accentuated if an individual concurrently and persistently thinks of and pursues meaningful behavior (meaning will be defined as thinking of or doing actions that have branching novel positive implications, or a variant of positive thinking). Since meaningful behavior induces dopamine release, this establishes a ‘virtuous’ neurological circuit, when rest can be merged with meaning and lead to pleasurably aroused states or even ecstasy. We can infer these processes from variants of meditation such as ‘loving kindness’ meditation and savoring, as well as peak and ‘flow’ experiences where highly meaningful activity is coupled with non-stressed or resting states. Above all, meaningful behavior is productive behavior that has positive novel and unfolding implications, and when persistently associated with positive affect from rest, can become in a sense ‘autotelic’ or rewarding in itself, allowing us to control our behavior through self-induced positive affect. By coming to terms with the neurologic reality of relaxation, we can realize it’s possibilities as essential to daily life and to self-control that make life worthwhile, pleasurable, productive, and ‘happy’.
Authors Note
You can pursue a much more expansive argument for a lay audience in my two open-source books and journal article below on the psychology of rest and the psychology of incentive motivation.
Also, my arguments above are not new science, but a new interpretation of the research of the distinguished affective neuroscientist Kent Berridge of the University of Michigan, who was kind to vet my books for accuracy and to provide endorsements in their preface.
Meditation and Rest- The American Psychologist/David Holmes
www.scribd.com/document/291558160/Holmes-Meditation-and-Rest-The-American-Psychologist
The Psychology of Rest and Meditation, from the International Journal of Stress Management, by this author
www.scribd.com/doc/121345732/Relaxation-and-Muscular-Tension-A-bio-behavioristic-explanation
For an excellent take on opioid and dopamine systems and how they act and interact, see
The Joyful Mind: Kringelbach and Berridge
sites.lsa.umich.edu/berridge-lab/wp-content/uploads/sites/743/2019/10/Kringelbach-Berridge-2012-Joyful-mind-Sci-Am.pdf
A more formal explanation of this procedure from affective neuroscience is provided on pp. 44-52 in a little open-source book on the psychology of rest linked below. Flow is discussed on pp. 82-87
www.scribd.com/doc/284056765/The-Book-of-Rest-The-Odd-Psychology-of-Doing-Nothing
‘A Mouse’s Tale’ Learning theory for a lay audience from the perspective of modern affective neuroscience
www.scribd.com/document/495438436/A-Mouse-s-Tale-a-practical-explanation-and-handbook-of-motivation-from-the-perspective-of-a-humble-creature
Berridge Lab
sites.lsa.umich.edu/berridge-lab/
haha im sure its good information, but us adhd people probably won't read it, I copy and pasted it for a day where I might!!! lol
You had me at yelling BOOOOOOORING!!! 🤣😍👌🏾
I have adhd and have found this one of the most useful videos I have watched. Thank you so much x
You're extremely sweet and seem like such a genuine person;) but ngl I almost clicked off when u said the list bc I'm so stubborn and apparently I don't want to get better but I'm rly happy I stayed. Just the way u explained it literally just made me feel motivated for a sec, cuz I'm like wait, I can do this with hw. So on, but thank you ❤️❤️❤️I haven't felt that in a while lmao
Aw lol at least you can admit you're stubborn - I still struggle with that! 😂 glad it helped a little bit 😊
This works. I totally do this. I also guess how long the most dreaded tasks then try to meet or beat the timer.
Another tip is from Dana White…I take a pic of my space before then after to show myself how much the space improved. Keep making the videos girl. This will help who needs it!❤❤❤
I am 44 and for the first time I've felt like someone understands me. People always telling me to just do it. Starting my list now
Just wanted to say thanks for making this video. Your goals list made me realize how important making a goals list before the next day is so important to my routine and overall wellbeing of the day for when I have to get things done.
why before the next day?
I cannot say HOW helpful this is to me right now. You've just reminded me of why I was so hyper focused as a kid. I've questioned my own adhd diagnosis because I never struggled with dophamine deficiency as a child. But now looking back I had tonnes of it because I did many of these strategies. Especially the one with the to-do list. Thank you so much for reminding me ❤
This video really made sense to me, I made a list this morning before watching this video, just to force myself to get things done today. Maybe on my next list will be to make a appointment with the doctor to get diagnosed
This is the first time ever I feel like I actually understand my own ADHD. This made me feel a lot more in control of my day. Thank you so much for explaining this in such a relatable & entertaining way. So happy I found your channel!💕
Hi everyone, right now I am soooo demotivated on a certain task... Thank you so much for your video's, they really are a BIG help :) And lets remember ONE thing : People with ADHD have heard "don't do this, don't do that" all their life, kids with ADHD have heard those words like 20K times more than kids without ADHD. NEVER forget the positive sides of ADHD, because that is what makes us special, even though the world around us may not always be able to follow our brains :):)
Omg that is SO me! I was only officially diagnosed as combined adhd at 44 (😢) but somehow I managed to find those solutions on my own, and YES diving tasks into micro tasks so I can cross more off my daily to-do list works so well!!🎉 Thanks for this video, It is such a relief to know I am not alone!!
1. Make to-do list, but break it up in to smaller, more specific tasks. Lots of happy dopamine check marks ✅️
2. Reward/celebrate little wins! 5 tasks = 1 line of cocaine or 1 peice of candy or 3 cat hugs
3. Avoid should/need/have. Brain says "no!" Use "want" and think of positivite ( alive animals, no body stench, clean taco holders for tuesday)
4. Make task fun and interesting when able. Exp: drink and pay bills...
5. Set deadlines with accountability buddy.
6. Make task in to a game or competition.
1 line of cocaine??? 😂🤣
@@anyssaadi1849 i'm seriously considering!! I can't even get through the video! 🙈
Funny thing is, as a man, "Need to" awakens this sort of stoic male reward center of my brain where I feel like I am taking care of things and being a man. So it's oddly useful for me to say to myself, "I need to do this" rather than "I want to", especially considering how often I've been told that the self pursuit of pleasure is inherently wrong.
@@GoldenEmperor5Manifest I hear you. The two are actually combined because they both uphold the belief that you *want* to have about who you are (your "Identity;" concept taught in Atomic Habits):
"Because my desired / purported *identity* , a Stoic Man, is that of one who *should* sacrifice his own pleasure for the service or betterment of the lives of others, I *want* to do this: ____(task)_____ . Because doing ____(task)_____ is something that a Stoic Man would do. It upholds, confirms, bolsters, and/or affirms the belief about myself: that I am a Stoic Man"
What worked for my ADHD was gamifying in my mind the stance of making everything ridiculously ahead of the deadlines. Not sure if I can explain it perfectly, but my brain gets NOTHING out of getting the thing done in time. Usually that means something like 4 am before the deadline morning. In the end I just feel like crap about the whole thing even though I finished the thing during an all-nighter at the last possible moment.
No, I need to gamify it and make it a competition. I know that may sound unhealthy but that gets my brain ticking. "Okay this is a competition against your brain or the other people with the same task. This is a game and you're about to win it." I might get hyperfocus kick in after I really get into it.
Just something to try for y'all.
can you explain it a bit more, feels like youre on to something, can you give an example. Say I need to make tik tok vids, no timeline or deadline, no urgency but it could potentially change my life in the future, how do I gamify that?
Playing my favorite upbeat music helps motivate me when I clean.
GREAT VID HERE. LOVE THE ENERGY THANKS!
I haven’t cared for my mental and emotional health in terms of staying aligned and motivated, I’ll try some of these out thank you for the learning experience 🙏🏾.
I love what you said about not letting our brains develop a negative association with a task. That's a biggie, but oh man, if I took sips of margarita or wine as a reward, I'd never get anything done, and I'd be getting myself in big trouble. Us ADHers need to be careful of too much alcohol consumption anyways. Our brains are always craving those dopamine hits so we need to be careful with stuff like that sometimes. I'd rather be hooked on puzzles, video games, or watching shows. I like motivational videos (like this one) and how to videos.
This makes a lot of sense. I love scratching it off my list. Thank you for these tips.
You're so welcome!
Thank you so much! I have so little dopamine, my head actually feels numb. I have asked for an extension on my project though I'm pretending it's not there, but it's good to know it's there 🙂
I have actually been very strict with myself about getting started, but it's maintaining focus and not constantly changing my mind on the research I have spent hours doing! I'm going to break it down on the next steps up get it completed and prioritize what needs to go in. Thanks again!
Sydni, you have no idea how glad I am to find your channel. Your videos are such great help! If you ever feel like you are demotivated to make these videos, just say it in your upcoming vid so that we can give some love through our comments! Love from Malaysia
This means SO MUCH to me. Thank you for your kind words Izni 🥰
A thing that worked for me: I had to do a lot of translation to prepare for an exam and the inner resistance was ... HUGE. Then luckily the inspiration struck me and I did it at 2 a. m. with no music on, no electric light on, in the light of a single candle. Felt like doing something forbidden, like a child reading under the blankets while it should be sleeping.
This was the best video ever seen to describe adhd
try finishing the easiest tasks first then either breakdown the hardest task to smaller tasks or look at it as the final push to be free for the day , and also try making your life easier if taking a shortcut will finish the task faster and at the same quality then take it , approach the tasks from the easiest path
Thank you so much for this. This is so helpful! :) Love from Australia.
p.s. wow what are those medals from? Well done!
They're my husband's! I have 0 medals 😂
Hey I just wanted to say I appreciate what you're doing, and also the way you're doing these vids... Subscribed and will be watching more. I just recently learned I have ADHD at 36, it's been such a big lightning bolt moment, head spinning with how much this all makes sense.
The best part about these lists is thinking “even if I stop halfway, I got at least 50% done which means even if I’m not living in the clearest environment I have a house that’s 50% clean” idk if it’s just me but that motivates me to keep pushing until at least some 80-90% sometimes I do it all. I told my therapist that it feels like there’s a little kid and a responsible adult living in my brain at all times and I have to constantly find things to excite the kid enough to get things done until it throws a tantrum and I have to stop.
Thank you for talking so fast!!👏🏼👏🏼 most videos I have to speed up 1.5x or even 2x to stay focused on it. But you kept me interested and focused the whole time. I didn’t even register how much it helped until I started watching a different video and zoned out almost immediately haha. It’s like you understand us or something 😉 anyways thanks! Instant subscriber.
I wish the conents of your video could be incorporated into official clinical treatments for ADHD! This stuff is so helpful!
I notice that in most cases when it comes to things like depression or anxiety, there seems to be an understanding that just giving a person drugs won't get to the root of the issue, and the combination of drugs to suppress symptoms and also therapy to tackle the root of the issue are both needed for therapeutic benefits.
With ADHD, they just give you drugs and expect you to figure it all out on your own. I feel like it's such a double standard. I don't understand why therapies to help people establish routines, habits, etc. based on strategies you mention in this video aren't a standard thing for ADHD treatment.
Thank you for sharing, I'm excited to incorporate some of these strategies! :)
What a fantastic video! You are a natural teacher! I’m amazed you found it hard to motivate yourself to make such a great video, but at least you know what you are talking about!
Being on a video chat with a friend has helped me a lot! My friend and eye create products and she's a self motivator with 3 small children and she's always making things. So when eye find myself having a hard time getting motivated, eye ask when she's available and we just werk together on the phone! So maybe finding a video chat buddy that doesn't mind just being on the phone with you while you get things done !
Just found this. 😃 Myself and my adult kids have ADHD. I only knew about my son 10 years ago when he was diagnosed but now I realize that myself and my daughters also have ADHD. It’s such a relief to learn about dopamine!
THIS VIDEO IS EXCELLENT THANK YOU!!!
I have a list on my phone that is “list of things that I accomplished”. So by the end of the day I can look at all this things I did and say yay! I was more productive than I thought I was. Also with that I taught my self even though the list was small for that day I still celebrate my little wins.
Thank you for your effort, my siblings and I are looking into adhd as to explaining our motivation troubles
I really appreciate you making these videos. I love them,they are so easy to understand, and you give great tips. Thank you ❤
Wow!! This was funny af and super helpful!!!
Thank you so much
Ahhhhhh!! 3 sips of my margarita!!!
Yassssss
Break the to do list down? ....Why didnt I think of that?? Genius😅 (Goes off to break down my lists for today) ❤️
Ok, so I need to finish my thesis which is due in 3 days. I was diagnosed 5-6 years ago since it wasn't that much of a struggle until I got to university. I've been clearly struggling but I'm good so I managed to finish each task the due day or the next day, teachers rarely refused to accept my essays even though I used to be late, so I could get by.
Ok, but now. NOW. I'm really going to tear myself apart. This mf thesis is not something I can do in a day, as I've almost always done with all these university-related things. I've tried multiple approaches to trick myself into getting it done (like making a list with many bullet points per day). I still can't. And moreover, my last resource has always been that rush of adrenaline, from the closer you get to the due date. I wish I didn't rely on this though.
I've done a bit since I had to give my adviser some advance.
I still need to get 4 chapters done. I will update on what got me to finish this nightmare, or how did I manage this time. Wish me luck pls guys
P.D.: So, I hadn't finished the video before writing this and I was struggling with that 10:00 point this vid talked about. I feel I little better now. Thank u girl
I hear you - I ended up postponing my defense that was supposed to happen on July 21 after I had my second miscarriage on the 7th. Even before that, I fought with myself DAILY to just get ONE paragraph written. I wasn't in the right mindset, so I needed to take a step back. And that's ok to do if you know that you're not functioning at your best.
Of course, I'm not telling you to quit; I'm saying to power through this LAST bit if you can, but rest if you absolutely must. And for what it's worth, you seem like you're more than capable of powering through this.
But I wish you the best of luck. I have a hunch that you'll have a good update for us soon. 🥰🤞🏽
Rewards equate to indulgences. Would you agree?
Well, I'm a self-critical perfectionist on top of (presumed) ADHD. So, I feel guilty, inadequate, not good enough, I could be better, for giving myself rewards / indulgences. Now that I've heard your talk (great, btw. THANK YOU), I know that I live in a self imposed world of "should." I should be/do better --> at all times. I think what I need to develop is a mindset that allows rewards / indulgences to be "ok" if they are earned. I need to define my progress before hand with more planning; more lists. Lists define what we want. I have trouble defining what I want. I havn't gotten to the root of why I struggle with this, but I think it may be because, if I were to define what I want, then I would have a mirror to hold up to myself and see that I am not measuring up...
I need to be in a group of people like myself. People who want more, but stay in their heads too much and isolate. I don't want to isolate, but I feel like a burden if I blab about these feelings to "normies."
OMG THANK YOU. I don't have ADHD and this helped me so much. This list thing with breaking it down to many small things.
The first time i tried to talk to a therapist about how i couldn’t even cook a meal for myself, she literally said “it’s not that hard! Throw some shrimp on a skillet! Go on TH-cam and find recipes!” I was so irked and felt so dismissed.
Do you so cbt?
Also is important to find a therapist with empathetic approach.
Dont feel bad about yourself unfortunately alot of therapist are like that...
Excellent strategy for motivation teenagers. I used this for mine. WORKS!! I'd tell him to wash and clean the bathroom but make it fun put some music in there away from the shower area outside the door so you hear it and get in there and scrub it up have some fun with it. It always worked
This video and comment section is amazing. My body doesn’t respond well to adhd medications, so this is incredibly helpful 🙌🏻
how did your body respond?
@@sukiatwal3762 with vyvanse, I got very bad leg cramps. With adderall, I got dizzy spells, heart palps, occasional sharp head pains, odd depersonalization experiences.
I love this video so much!
Omg, SO happy I found you. So relatable and needed. Thanks!