Jessica, Mom, and Scott deserve each other, don't forget Dad because he did the best he could to keep the family together. He deserves your love for trying.
Did he really try? 1:15 "I didn't want the very few weeks that my dad spent here to be in agony." He said he stayed with her because he knew she'd keep him away from the kids yet he stayed at his job that kept him out of country most of the time. By keeping them together he was letting them treat op like garbage. Sure he didn't know but maybe if he didn't spend most of his time away maybe op would have been able to let him know how they were treating her.
@@tonyblake7569 okay if he quit his job and stayed in country she would eventually have been caught and devorced, then she would keep the kids , and op would be blamed for it. And really have been bullied in her life.
@@jameswands9596 No actually in having moved to a job in the same country even if there was a divorce he would get more visitation and control over his children then just a few weeks a year...thus he could have actually been some use as a parent and might have been involved enough to be able to have protected his child better. He had no knowledge of anything because he was never there to see or learn anything. OP would likely have been able to open up to him much sooner if she knew he was stable enough in his situation to be counted on to protect her . OP might even have been able to have moved in with him once she got older and could choose where she wanted to live.
Another woman basically give my bf a lap dance at the our friends wedding! How do I survive my wedding? If that woman will be there... My bf invited her! th-cam.com/video/JzXzp1YSiLE/w-d-xo.html
@@jameswands9596 he could have divorced her when they were teenagers and could tell a judge who they would want to live with giving op a chance to not be in that situation, instead he never said anything even after they went to college and moved out. They were adults and at that point it wouldn't matter what a judge said yet he still chose to be away from them most of the time to "keep the family together". And if they divorced why would op be blamed? They would have divorced because his ex cheated and ops sister wasn't his. Either they would blame his ex for cheating, the one person to blame here. Falsely blame him for not making it work out or not being there and the reason she cheated. Or like many stories blaming the affair child simply for being born. She was an ahole for what she did and how she treated op but she wasn't responsible for what her mom did. Even if Jessica chose her mom this could have given op a chance to be somewhere she wasn't treated like crap. He may not of treated her like garbage but he chose to barely see them and leave his kids with someone like that. If you chose work over your family, especially when you know your spouse is horrible your not a hero.
What is wrong with being a cleaner? We need those people. They are just as essential as IT personel or doctors. Imagine how malls, hospitals, offices, and streets would look without them. Those gossipers need to get a life.
Story 1: I had a narcissistic mother who hated that I didn't look like her. I'm happier than ever never to have had a sister every time I hear stories like this one.
They ruined their own lives. However be prepared that Scott’s family will take him back because Scott now has a grandson for them & they’ll then “accept” Jessica & your mom. Friends may reconcile with him too. You may be ousted for being “unreasonable” for holding things against them. This sucks yet just shows that som people lose all sense. Jessica will probably end up cheating on Scott & he’ll cheat on her.
Actually given the update that says that Scott has been running from the sister since she told him that he was her youngest child's father I doubt he wants the child at all, even as a bargaining chip to buy himself back into his families and friends good graces. To use the child to get back into others good graces he would have to accept his parental rights and duties to his child which he doesn't seem to want to do at all. I think it will more likely Scott proves himself as a total POS who abandons the sister and the child which permanently keeps him in the doghouse with those who have wrote him off. It doesn't matter even if his family and some friends do accept him and/or the sister and mom back into the fold because of the child, as OP clearly is moving on and will be better off without them in her life anyway.
that family is insane. "won't get married for another three years" because sis got divorced a year ago? then again, why is OP's fiancee going clubbing with her sister??
I'm only a cleaner, that's what I was told, when I asked for a signature for deliveries. I told them, if it wasn't for you cleaning, the place they were cleaning would not exist. These places would have no customers and would be closed down as they would be a public health hazards. This was forty years ago and it is even more important today.
Yes, and looking down on victims of verbal, emotional, and any kind of abuse is pretty much trashy. In this instance, they both stood up for themselves and said no more. That's something to be proud of
Story 2. Nothing to be ashamed about hun. I also work as a cleaner as my 2nd job. I really enjoy it, and it pays better then my 1st one does. Also my customers are really greatful and don't give me any trouble. It's a win, win all around. Cleaning is great 4 the figure. I started cleaning when my daughter was still to small to go 2 school, and I was allowed to take her with me. For that reason, I wouldn't easily give it up. They helped me greatly when I was in need of money, and me deciding to clean because their cleaner didn't show up helped them and myself. They continued getting me to clean for them from that day on. I wasn't a cleaner before that at all, and now I definitely don't look down on the job. Work is work, and it's at least a honest way to earn money. Chin up hun.
I seriously was frustrated with the first OP over her obvious lack of self worth and spine. It might be understandable she didn't fight her mom and sister on their behavior towards her when she was a child or teenager but she even allowed it into adulthood. OP didn't even step up to put her foot down when her sister wanted her to postpone her wedding for three years because of her sisters divorce....which makes absolutely no reasonable sense. Of course it makes sense that the sister only divorced her husband and wanted OP to postpone her wedding because she wanted OP's ex fiancée Scott who she had clearly already been cheating with for years. Then OP actually feels guilty after she rightly serves them the consequences of their actions and the mom's enabling it by exposing them with the truth🤦. Seriously OP needs to get therapy for her lack of self worth and confidence wherever she moves to . Glad that OP learned the depth and length of her sister and Scott's betrayal in the paternity of her sisters youngest from her former BIL. She had to know just how many people and lives their actions affected so she could get rid of her needless guilt. Not giving the dad a pass though because even though he says he stayed with the mom for OP he held a job that clearly kept him from actually being there so he was still useless as a parent anyway.
I am honestly blaming the dad for this a lot because a lot of OP’s treatment would not have happened if he hadn’t been away all the time to let the mom and Jessica treat her like this - it took him literally retiring for him to be there for her. If he had just divorced the mother when he found out that she was cheating on him, OP would never have had to deal with Jessica’s bullshit
Don't be such a doormat. Do exactly for his birthday what he does for yours. Put in the same effort and thought into it. Why go to a sports event or anything else you have no interest in for YOUR birthday. You've gone without for years, so go on vacation by yourself or with friends to do what you want for a change. Leave the selfish, entitled, self absorbed man baby at home. He takes you for granted. He does the bare minimum for you, but expects cooking, cleaning, nice cake, well thought out and nicely wrapped presents as well as decorations, events, etc. For himself. Does that sound like one person in the relationship cares and the other doesn't? Get a clue. Take care of yourself. I bet he'll care when he doesn't get the top shelf service he thinks he deserves. Get some self esteem girl. You deserve some love too.
This was my thought too that OP should stop prioritizing his birthday and put that effort into her own. There was one video about a wife who was tired of putting thought and effort in on special occasions for her husband but getting little to none in return from him. One commenter replied that she had delt with the same thing of getting absolutely nothing from her husband after going through a lot of thought and effort for him on EVERY special occasion for far too many years. This went on until with his birthday coming up one year she finally got angry enough that she snapped and decided to just stop doing anything for him at all. Their son noticed she hadn't done anything at all for his dad's birthday and asked her why to which she replied she had given his dad exactly what he had given her for her birthday. The husband after Christmas too had come where she pointedly totally ignored him finally admitted that it hurt him. She told him that SHE knew the feeling well as SHE had dealt with it herself from him ...FOR YEARS ! She then gave him example after example of all of the years where all of her thought and effort was returned with absolutely nothing from him. She pointedly told him she wouldn't ever do or get anything for him again unless he showed that he had straightened up. She made it clear that he had better step it up to the max for her on special occasions from then on and dared him to miss even ONE. Needless to say the commenter said her husband got the message and has been majorly on point with special occasions ever since. OP needs to start putting this into effect and start only putting in the same thought and effort for him that her husband does for her.
Well since she did all this for him all of these years I would say it adds up to her not doing ANYTHING for him! Not just for birthdays but in general Don;'t cook,. wash his clothes ect. Just live your life as you are single for years now No need to put in all that effort for a 'roommate'
@@paulagoeringer9466 That commenter said herself that she allowed it to go on for far too long and should have put her foot down much , much sooner . She said she regrets that she didn't.
My father spent 10 years going to school part time and working full time and raising a family and spent over $25,000 to get a teaching degree. His first teaching position was at a high school and his yearly income was $9,000 a year. (This was 1965). 2 years later he was offered a teaching position at another but much smaller high school but at $11,500 a year. At this smaller school, we only had 1 janitor for the whole school (We had a total of 125 students in the whole school, freshman to seniors). He was getting an annual salary of $17,600 per year. He was a high school drop out. He and his family were moving so the school needed a new janitor. After much discussion between my mom and dad, he decided to apply for the job and he got it. Starting at $17,600 a year. Within 3 years he was making $19,400. The teachers were still getting less than $12,000. So screw all those people who look down on janitors. It's probably jealousy because they are most likely making more than a lot of college graduates. By the way, my dad was able to retire with a hefty enough savings to retire to Germany and own a nice piece of farm land until they both passed away. All on a janitor's pay. So f@#k all you narcissistic a**holes. I was proud of my dad.
Story 2 my favorite retort to some ignorant piece of crap laughing at someone for being a cleaner or dishwasher or a cook as if it wasn't for us you'd have to do with your damn self and Lord knows most of them would be able to do none of that. Not clean not cook not wash a dish. I actually got that line from a Harlequin romance novel / manga she was being made fun of because she was she delivered sandwiches and her contract husband was like a rich air and his family made fun of her and she told them if it wasn't for People Like Us he'd be doing it yourself. So it's become my favorite retort to arrogant well-to-do people who laugh at people who do menial jobs.
Don't feel guilty for finally step up and stand up for yourself. OP should have been more honest with her father about what had been going on years earlier.
The way you described your sister and mother have me wondering why their in your life, in the first place. 🤨🤷♂️ Also, not TA. An eye for an eye and all that. Lol
Story 3. Your husband want a single person's lifestyle. His hobby should be just that .Not his whole life. Sorry but he is selfish and doesn't need you. Divorce him.Find someone that wants to share your life.
6 hour notice? Are you kidding? You need to stop doing anything else for hubby. No birthday, no anniversary! His sporting events are entirely more important than you are OP. Hubby is selfish. OP needs to realize that they are not important to hubby anymore. No absolutely nothing. Find something to do that you can get excited about. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as it inspires you to immerse yourself in. Be as available to hubby as he to you. When hubby notices that you are not available for him he’ll want to know what is so important that you don’t have time for him.
The woman is a saint, this guy doesn't realize how good he has it. She should get him a special gift of divorce papers for his next birthday if he doesn't shape up.
Please get marriage/couples’ counseling & individual counseling for each of you. For 10yrs you have been far down on his lust of priorities. Don’t have children with him until he can definitively prove you come before sports & job & that he’ll place your children before this as well.
Story 1: Play stupid games (Jessica) win stupid prizes. Jessica is NOT the dad's bio child! Jesus Christ, what a mess, and Jessica's second child is Scott's! OMG!
@@marionmarshall8438 He skip over where the Ex Husband wasn't the father of the first child to, which was way before Scott came Along. Jessica was the town bicycle so Dollar to Donuts in that run down apartment Scott will bang the mom.
Another woman basically give my bf a lap dance at the our friends wedding! How do I survive my wedding? If that woman will be there... My bf invited her! th-cam.com/video/JzXzp1YSiLE/w-d-xo.html
Story #2 OP needs to find new friends and possibly drop contact with his family. Real friends wouldn't ghost you because of your job and a real family would support your decision, especially because your doing this for your health.
NTA it is not your fault none of them are worth worrying about, you did the right thing get on with your life your dad has your back the other 3 can get lost ....
Last post: It isn't any fun being an after thought. I have been in a similar situation for far longer, stayed bc I was hopeful and we have children, adults now. For me it did get worst bc being second fiddle, the after thought, to anything reduces the level of loyalty. He might not ever stray with another person but emotional affairs destroy relationships. It doesn't need to be a person to take your place. When that happens it's suddenly easier to be replaced. He truly sounds like a narcissist. NPD. Something to read on for yourself. Try not to be changed by what he wants over what you want. You may end up with nothing of yours.
NTA, Jessica, Mom and Scott are just reaping the results of their own actions. You did not lie, or mistreat them in any way, shape or form. You just revealed the truth to everyone. The fact that their lives were ruined, entirely from their own actions, is not your fault. Don't do anything that you would be ashamed of, or not want to deal with the consequences of, if it were discovered.
Easy solution. Sis can't divorce for the next 3 years as to not throw shade on the family for big events like weddings. If she divorce still, she can be forgiven on the condition she hides and keep low profile as to not attract attention to the shameful thing that she is.
when i'm young i look down for cleaning job... but as i got older i start look all the job with respect. So i think people who look down another person job just a child who not matured yet. What i hate jobless lazy people. I'm also programmer, and my weight start become problem. I work part time as waitress at my uncle restaurant for losing weight. but at the end i got reward with food. So i just gain what i loss. Maybe i should start looking for cleaning job.
Going to call bs. So ops dad knew Jessica wasn't his but didn't do anything because he knew their mom wouldn't let him see them. But he stayed at his job where he only saw them a few months each year?
Re: OP #2...one of my older brothers is a Harley-Davidson enthusiast. He had a pretty good paying primary job, but took on a second job working in a fast food restaurant to earn extra income to support his HD cycling passion. During the time he worked his second job, and getting to know his restaurant co-workers, he realized that there may be low wage jobs out there, but there are no low wage people.
Story 2: Nothing wrong with your second job but now you knew who is gossiping and trash. THEY are who deserve to be looked down on for being gossiping snobs. They are not good people.
This lady uses the word "revenge" often but she is mixing up revenge with "natural consequences". These people lived the natural consequences of their own actions, she merely grew the backbone to prod it all into position.
An easy workout that feels productive is weight training. Simply buying a couple 10-20lbs dumbbells can do wonders, simply doing reps of 10 for each major arm workout.
S1: OP shouldn't be feeling any guilt at all, in fact she should be feeling proud of her actions by stopping these maggots from destroying others lives. You know no matter how well you treat and care for pigs, they can't and will never let go of their character, mentality, personality, and behavior. Filth is precious to them, and they cherish living in the filth.
Question: Does anyone else get kinda pissed off at posters like OP in story 1. I'm talking about her feeling guilty for ruining her Moms and sisters life. The very people that crapped all over her and tormented her for her entire life. Feeling guilty over ruining her fiancées life. After all the lies and his affair with her freaking sister. I just don't get it. I'm just....... What?????REALLY!!!!! WHY????? Are you that spineless, that soft,that brainless. Ugh,ugh,ugh,ugh,ugh. Just wondering if other folks experience this frustration.
Definitely not she's been mentally abused her entire life by 2 narcissist. I can tell by your post that you don't really understand what that entails. The best part of the story is her realizing this and no longer feeling guilty.
@@truthbringer-6748 The fact that she was coming to the realization that there was no reason for her to feel guilty is great. For me, it's just sad and inferiorating to see/hear a person who has finally gotten out, to actually feel compassion for their bully. Or fear that they have turned into a similar type. Or espessially that their bully didn't deserve the consequences. Yes, I do know. Don't worry,we are all strangers here. By your reply, I'm guessing that you have your own experience as well. Have a good day hun.
If theres a guilt/sorry she should feel.. its for the kids, that they lost a better lifestyle.. but even then its not her fault.. so not that she's guilty of their conditiom.. but having parents like that.. even i am sorry for those kids..
1st story : Op dodged a major bullet and the trash is gone. Hope she heals soon from all those years of abuse and neglect. 2nd story : I honestly despise people who look down on cleaners. It's an honest job that benefits everyone. People who act that way should try and spend one day without cleaners, rubbish removal personnel, delivery drivers, warehouse and factory workers, truck drivers, servers and pot washers etc... I'd love to see those who act so disgustingly survive in a world without the baseline...
AITA question is strange. Is a banker is guilty because the bank was robbed and he testified in court about the robbery and the robber? Is OP guilty that her sister was sleeping around? NTA
If this is true, OP is a massive AH - does this think that all kids look like their fathers even if they are theirs? But what impact does she think this has had on her youngest nephew? The mum and ex-fiance deserve all they get however. The dad is culpable however - and he is an AH for screwing over his soon to be ex-wife in the divorce (not excusing cheating, however, she has has essentially been a single parent for years) and his poor parenting as generally happens in pre-nups.
S2, Op your family and friends sounds like they are snobs and look down upon others who have a service ,hospitality or cleaning job ,all these jobs are labour intensive on the body and cleaning is a great way to get fit as you stretch ,bend and lift heavy weights such as full mop buckets and you stretch to clean high places and you bend when you sweeping and pulling out equipment that needs cleaned behind .NTA
Story 2 You should tell your parents you don't care what others say , you are making extra money and you are still working as a software engineer, your parents are snobs ,I did think anyone should who is a true friends will not worry please save your extra money and get away from those snobs because that what they are Go and invest your extra income and never assist these friends and family will come to you when they want someone please remember to say no they could not possibly want you money earned through such low employment
why do people feel like aholes after the deed? it's because they aren't aholes and just responding to other's actions which as we all know in science and in life for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction. normally a nice person 99% of the time revert to that after the deed and feel bad. but don't it's how you live after that counts. (just an addon but that last line was just about the gayest thing i've ever said.)
Regardless of whether or not it sounds "gay" it's the deadass truth. When you find out someone has betrayed you, you make sure to do everything in your power to expose them to everyone as the scumbags they really are. Get some justified revenge and then once all is said and done and their lives are in the crapper, wash your hands of both the situation and of them. And from that point on, don't give them another thought and just focus on improving and making a better life for yourself. Getting revenge isn't always a really bad thing; just don't allow the need for it to overrule your life.
Story 3 Please let me ask you what are the benefits of this marriage, please write down a pro and con list You should never have married this selfish individual he doesn't seem to care about you or your children so please you are not happy so why are you staying with him ,I think you should consider if you want to remain in your marriage,I think you should divorce him why are you staying in this marriage he doesn't care,he doesn't see you I think you should ask him to go to marriage counseling or divorce seems the only option enough is enough
Story 3.. for your next Bday.. plan a nice trip to some beach resort ( or whatever YOU like to do/go/see) somewhere,,, then go.. if he cannot leave his "sport" for you.. go without him. he needs a wake up call. Also, from now on, he gets NO MORE attention/planning to HIS BDAY.. than he gives to yours. What a self centered AH he is!!!
I don't understand why people suffer to the point they can merely feel alive at all. NTA, they deserve more suffering in my opinion but it's great you cut them of your life.
Story 3 they was like that before you married them it was a foregone conclusion that they would continue to be like that after you married them I wouldn't have married him if it was going to bother me so much and I would never make someone give up something they are passionate about because I don't like it The Audacity Of Me to marry someone knowing what their passionate about and knowing that they're a little obsessed with it and that they get a little deeply involved and then for me to say I don't like it anymore you need to stop what I would say is you're neglecting your family I don't mind that you are involved in your passions but you need to give us a little more time and if you can't do that then we need to go our separate ways. that's how that should be handled.
S1 Right at the start itself, I feel OP is 50% at fault. Knowing Jessica and mom, she continues to have a relationship with them and even listens to them. Actions have consequences.
I simply do not understand why you Redditor narrators do not ‘get’ punctuation. You read straight through, oblivious to any commas, periods, semi-colons, etc. and leaving the reader wondering if you actually understand the text of the story. At least your transcription is fairly accurate.
Tell your parents that they are right and you will be quitting and giving two weeks notice on Monday. Then I would have told them, if there is anything important or anything they wish me to know or to tell me, they have two weeks to do so because once they are no longer working as a lowly cleaner and only as a prestigious computer programmer, I will have a reputation to protect and I can't be seen hanging around with nobodys like them so please gather your thoughts, you have two weeks before I disown you and never speak to you again !!! cleaning
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Jessica, Mom, and Scott deserve each other, don't forget Dad because he did the best he could to keep the family together. He deserves your love for trying.
Did he really try? 1:15 "I didn't want the very few weeks that my dad spent here to be in agony." He said he stayed with her because he knew she'd keep him away from the kids yet he stayed at his job that kept him out of country most of the time. By keeping them together he was letting them treat op like garbage. Sure he didn't know but maybe if he didn't spend most of his time away maybe op would have been able to let him know how they were treating her.
@@tonyblake7569 okay if he quit his job and stayed in country she would eventually have been caught and devorced, then she would keep the kids , and op would be blamed for it. And really have been bullied in her life.
@@jameswands9596 No actually in having moved to a job in the same country even if there was a divorce he would get more visitation and control over his children then just a few weeks a year...thus he could have actually been some use as a parent and might have been involved enough to be able to have protected his child better. He had no knowledge of anything because he was never there to see or learn anything. OP would likely have been able to open up to him much sooner if she knew he was stable enough in his situation to be counted on to protect her . OP might even have been able to have moved in with him once she got older and could choose where she wanted to live.
Another woman basically give my bf a lap dance at the our friends wedding! How do I survive my wedding? If that woman will be there... My bf invited her! th-cam.com/video/JzXzp1YSiLE/w-d-xo.html
@@jameswands9596 he could have divorced her when they were teenagers and could tell a judge who they would want to live with giving op a chance to not be in that situation, instead he never said anything even after they went to college and moved out. They were adults and at that point it wouldn't matter what a judge said yet he still chose to be away from them most of the time to "keep the family together". And if they divorced why would op be blamed? They would have divorced because his ex cheated and ops sister wasn't his. Either they would blame his ex for cheating, the one person to blame here. Falsely blame him for not making it work out or not being there and the reason she cheated. Or like many stories blaming the affair child simply for being born. She was an ahole for what she did and how she treated op but she wasn't responsible for what her mom did. Even if Jessica chose her mom this could have given op a chance to be somewhere she wasn't treated like crap. He may not of treated her like garbage but he chose to barely see them and leave his kids with someone like that. If you chose work over your family, especially when you know your spouse is horrible your not a hero.
What is wrong with being a cleaner? We need those people. They are just as essential as IT personel or doctors. Imagine how malls, hospitals, offices, and streets would look without them. Those gossipers need to get a life.
Story 1: I had a narcissistic mother who hated that I didn't look like her. I'm happier than ever never to have had a sister every time I hear stories like this one.
OP dodged a major bullet.
They ruined their own lives.
However be prepared that Scott’s family will take him back because Scott now has a grandson for them & they’ll then “accept” Jessica & your mom. Friends may reconcile with him too. You may be ousted for being “unreasonable” for holding things against them. This sucks yet just shows that som people lose all sense.
Jessica will probably end up cheating on Scott & he’ll cheat on her.
Actually given the update that says that Scott has been running from the sister since she told him that he was her youngest child's father I doubt he wants the child at all, even as a bargaining chip to buy himself back into his families and friends good graces. To use the child to get back into others good graces he would have to accept his parental rights and duties to his child which he doesn't seem to want to do at all. I think it will more likely Scott proves himself as a total POS who abandons the sister and the child which permanently keeps him in the doghouse with those who have wrote him off. It doesn't matter even if his family and some friends do accept him and/or the sister and mom back into the fold because of the child, as OP clearly is moving on and will be better off without them in her life anyway.
that family is insane. "won't get married for another three years" because sis got divorced a year ago?
then again, why is OP's fiancee going clubbing with her sister??
I'm only a cleaner, that's what I was told, when I asked for a signature for deliveries. I told them, if it wasn't for you cleaning, the place they were cleaning would not exist. These places would have no customers and would be closed down as they would be a public health hazards. This was forty years ago and it is even more important today.
Story 1: when idiots keep trash in their life, and are surprised that they act like trash.
1st story... I am proud of you op.. Don't feel bad.. They deserved it
Story 1.
So the dad was only seeing op a few weeks a year, knew his wife was cheating, had a prenup and stayed?
perhaps he thought she was a good mom and didn't want to rock the boat and thought well I'm not there too often.
OP ruined no one's lives that they weren't already ruining themselves.
OP should go no contact with everyone except her father.
First story was indeed a shocker, that family got what they deserved, all three of them, horrible family
1. No OP, you did great.
I had a feeling Scott was the father of Jessica's 2nd child from the way she was so friendly with him from the beginning of his relationship with OP.
Sorry I know OP is the victim in S1 but she sounds like a complete doormat.
And the father is a coward
Yes, and looking down on victims of verbal, emotional, and any kind of abuse is pretty much trashy. In this instance, they both stood up for themselves and said no more. That's something to be proud of
KARMA MIGHT BE LATE ! BUT DEFINITELY ALWAYS ON TIME !
Story 2. Nothing to be ashamed about hun. I also work as a cleaner as my 2nd job. I really enjoy it, and it pays better then my 1st one does. Also my customers are really greatful and don't give me any trouble. It's a win, win all around. Cleaning is great 4 the figure. I started cleaning when my daughter was still to small to go 2 school, and I was allowed to take her with me. For that reason, I wouldn't easily give it up. They helped me greatly when I was in need of money, and me deciding to clean because their cleaner didn't show up helped them and myself. They continued getting me to clean for them from that day on. I wasn't a cleaner before that at all, and now I definitely don't look down on the job. Work is work, and it's at least a honest way to earn money. Chin up hun.
I seriously was frustrated with the first OP over her obvious lack of self worth and spine. It might be understandable she didn't fight her mom and sister on their behavior towards her when she was a child or teenager but she even allowed it into adulthood. OP didn't even step up to put her foot down when her sister wanted her to postpone her wedding for three years because of her sisters divorce....which makes absolutely no reasonable sense. Of course it makes sense that the sister only divorced her husband and wanted OP to postpone her wedding because she wanted OP's ex fiancée Scott who she had clearly already been cheating with for years. Then OP actually feels guilty after she rightly serves them the consequences of their actions and the mom's enabling it by exposing them with the truth🤦. Seriously OP needs to get therapy for her lack of self worth and confidence wherever she moves to . Glad that OP learned the depth and length of her sister and Scott's betrayal in the paternity of her sisters youngest from her former BIL. She had to know just how many people and lives their actions affected so she could get rid of her needless guilt. Not giving the dad a pass though because even though he says he stayed with the mom for OP he held a job that clearly kept him from actually being there so he was still useless as a parent anyway.
NTA! They deserved it for after hurting her and cheating on her for their own selfishness
1st Story.... you told the truth and that should set you free from all these red flag Narcissists.
God has something better for you. Move on.
Ask them what would happen if there were no one to clean?
I am honestly blaming the dad for this a lot because a lot of OP’s treatment would not have happened if he hadn’t been away all the time to let the mom and Jessica treat her like this - it took him literally retiring for him to be there for her. If he had just divorced the mother when he found out that she was cheating on him, OP would never have had to deal with Jessica’s bullshit
Don't be such a doormat. Do exactly for his birthday what he does for yours. Put in the same effort and thought into it. Why go to a sports event or anything else you have no interest in for YOUR birthday. You've gone without for years, so go on vacation by yourself or with friends to do what you want for a change. Leave the selfish, entitled, self absorbed man baby at home. He takes you for granted. He does the bare minimum for you, but expects cooking, cleaning, nice cake, well thought out and nicely wrapped presents as well as decorations, events, etc. For himself. Does that sound like one person in the relationship cares and the other doesn't? Get a clue. Take care of yourself. I bet he'll care when he doesn't get the top shelf service he thinks he deserves. Get some self esteem girl. You deserve some love too.
This was my thought too that OP should stop prioritizing his birthday and put that effort into her own. There was one video about a wife who was tired of putting thought and effort in on special occasions for her husband but getting little to none in return from him. One commenter replied that she had delt with the same thing of getting absolutely nothing from her husband after going through a lot of thought and effort for him on EVERY special occasion for far too many years. This went on until with his birthday coming up one year she finally got angry enough that she snapped and decided to just stop doing anything for him at all. Their son noticed she hadn't done anything at all for his dad's birthday and asked her why to which she replied she had given his dad exactly what he had given her for her birthday. The husband after Christmas too had come where she pointedly totally ignored him finally admitted that it hurt him. She told him that SHE knew the feeling well as SHE had dealt with it herself from him ...FOR YEARS ! She then gave him example after example of all of the years where all of her thought and effort was returned with absolutely nothing from him. She pointedly told him she wouldn't ever do or get anything for him again unless he showed that he had straightened up. She made it clear that he had better step it up to the max for her on special occasions from then on and dared him to miss even ONE. Needless to say the commenter said her husband got the message and has been majorly on point with special occasions ever since. OP needs to start putting this into effect and start only putting in the same thought and effort for him that her husband does for her.
Well since she did all this for him all of these years I would say it adds up to her not doing ANYTHING for him!
Not just for birthdays but in general
Don;'t cook,. wash his clothes ect.
Just live your life as you are single for years now
No need to put in all that effort for a 'roommate'
@@cisio64123 yes. She really should have not let that go on for that long though. Once or twice, but after that you have to put your foot down.
@@robertx8020 yeah, after the second time he pulled that she should have been very firm with him that no respect equals no anything.
@@paulagoeringer9466 That commenter said herself that she allowed it to go on for far too long and should have put her foot down much , much sooner . She said she regrets that she didn't.
My father spent 10 years going to school part time and working full time and raising a family and spent over $25,000 to get a teaching degree. His first teaching position was at a high school and his yearly income was $9,000 a year. (This was 1965). 2 years later he was offered a teaching position at another but much smaller high school but at $11,500 a year. At this smaller school, we only had 1 janitor for the whole school (We had a total of 125 students in the whole school, freshman to seniors). He was getting an annual salary of $17,600 per year. He was a high school drop out. He and his family were moving so the school needed a new janitor. After much discussion between my mom and dad, he decided to apply for the job and he got it. Starting at $17,600 a year. Within 3 years he was making $19,400. The teachers were still getting less than $12,000. So screw all those people who look down on janitors. It's probably jealousy because they are most likely making more than a lot of college graduates. By the way, my dad was able to retire with a hefty enough savings to retire to Germany and own a nice piece of farm land until they both passed away. All on a janitor's pay. So f@#k all you narcissistic a**holes. I was proud of my dad.
Never keep family that hates you in your life.
Story 2 my favorite retort to some ignorant piece of crap laughing at someone for being a cleaner or dishwasher or a cook as if it wasn't for us you'd have to do with your damn self and Lord knows most of them would be able to do none of that. Not clean not cook not wash a dish. I actually got that line from a Harlequin romance novel / manga she was being made fun of because she was she delivered sandwiches and her contract husband was like a rich air and his family made fun of her and she told them if it wasn't for People Like Us he'd be doing it yourself. So it's become my favorite retort to arrogant well-to-do people who laugh at people who do menial jobs.
Don't feel guilty for finally step up and stand up for yourself. OP should have been more honest with her father about what had been going on years earlier.
Don’t any of these people have any moral boundaries? Would they act like this if they had any morals? You reap what you sow.
OP never tells Dad about neglect. Conspires to allow the neglect.
If it isn't for the cleaners all you office staff would be working in sht
The way you described your sister and mother have me wondering why their in your life, in the first place. 🤨🤷♂️ Also, not TA. An eye for an eye and all that. Lol
They did to you all your life what you did to them in months. Don't feel guilty, you're very intelligent
Story 3.
Your husband want a single person's lifestyle.
His hobby should be just that .Not his whole life.
Sorry but he is selfish and doesn't need you.
Divorce him.Find someone that wants to share your life.
If revealing the truth ruins something, it wasn’t real
GREAT FUN COPING ! SEARCHING 4 HER BABY 🍼 DADDIES ! Lol 😂
6 hour notice? Are you kidding? You need to stop doing anything else for hubby. No birthday, no anniversary! His sporting events are entirely more important than you are OP. Hubby is selfish. OP needs to realize that they are not important to hubby anymore. No absolutely nothing. Find something to do that you can get excited about. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as it inspires you to immerse yourself in. Be as available to hubby as he to you. When hubby notices that you are not available for him he’ll want to know what is so important that you don’t have time for him.
The woman is a saint, this guy doesn't realize how good he has it. She should get him a special gift of divorce papers for his next birthday if he doesn't shape up.
Did anyone tell Jessica her dad was not her dad?
The person who cleans for a living - you need better people in your life.
That's cool you workout and get paid for it.
They ruined their own lives. What they all did was wrong your mom,sister, and ex WRONG.
Anyone who called that girl an a-hole for exposing her disgusting mom, sister and fiance probably have a lot in common with the three of them.
How can YOU feel guilty ruining the lives of 3 people, when THOSE SAME 3 people were stabbing you in the back.
NTA... funny as hell they got busted.
Have a wonderful life OPxx
Please get marriage/couples’ counseling & individual counseling for each of you. For 10yrs you have been far down on his lust of priorities. Don’t have children with him until he can definitively prove you come before sports & job & that he’ll place your children before this as well.
If I was op I would go no contact with the mother and the half sister Jessica story 1
Story 1: Play stupid games (Jessica) win stupid prizes. Jessica is NOT the dad's bio child! Jesus Christ, what a mess, and Jessica's second child is Scott's! OMG!
Like mother, like daughter.
@@marionmarshall8438 He skip over where the Ex Husband wasn't the father of the first child to, which was way before Scott came Along. Jessica was the town bicycle so Dollar to Donuts in that run down apartment Scott will bang the mom.
@@TwiceStruck
Another woman basically give my bf a lap dance at the our friends wedding! How do I survive my wedding? If that woman will be there... My bf invited her! th-cam.com/video/JzXzp1YSiLE/w-d-xo.html
NTA.
Story #2 OP needs to find new friends and possibly drop contact with his family. Real friends wouldn't ghost you because of your job and a real family would support your decision, especially because your doing this for your health.
Ooof nuclear vengeance
Take no nonsense from these two not there business
NTA it is not your fault none of them are worth worrying about, you did the right thing get on with your life your dad has your back the other 3 can get lost ....
SO WHOS KIDS ARE THEY ?
Last post: It isn't any fun being an after thought. I have been in a similar situation for far longer, stayed bc I was hopeful and we have children, adults now. For me it did get worst bc being second fiddle, the after thought, to anything reduces the level of loyalty. He might not ever stray with another person but emotional affairs destroy relationships. It doesn't need to be a person to take your place. When that happens it's suddenly easier to be replaced. He truly sounds like a narcissist. NPD. Something to read on for yourself. Try not to be changed by what he wants over what you want. You may end up with nothing of yours.
NTA, Jessica, Mom and Scott are just reaping the results of their own actions. You did not lie, or mistreat them in any way, shape or form. You just revealed the truth to everyone. The fact that their lives were ruined, entirely from their own actions, is not your fault. Don't do anything that you would be ashamed of, or not want to deal with the consequences of, if it were discovered.
😙👌🏻 * chef kiss revenge
Easy solution. Sis can't divorce for the next 3 years as to not throw shade on the family for big events like weddings. If she divorce still, she can be forgiven on the condition she hides and keep low profile as to not attract attention to the shameful thing that she is.
when i'm young i look down for cleaning job... but as i got older i start look all the job with respect. So i think people who look down another person job just a child who not matured yet. What i hate jobless lazy people. I'm also programmer, and my weight start become problem. I work part time as waitress at my uncle restaurant for losing weight. but at the end i got reward with food. So i just gain what i loss. Maybe i should start looking for cleaning job.
Hello. Good day all.
Going to call bs. So ops dad knew Jessica wasn't his but didn't do anything because he knew their mom wouldn't let him see them. But he stayed at his job where he only saw them a few months each year?
Maybe that's why he stayed away, because he didn't want to be around them, but ended up neglected his only child in the process.
Re: OP #2...one of my older brothers is a Harley-Davidson enthusiast. He had a pretty good paying primary job, but took on a second job working in a fast food restaurant to earn extra income to support his HD cycling passion.
During the time he worked his second job, and getting to know his restaurant co-workers, he realized that there may be low wage jobs out there, but there are no low wage people.
Story 2: Nothing wrong with your second job but now you knew who is gossiping and trash. THEY are who deserve to be looked down on for being gossiping snobs. They are not good people.
They did it to themselves
This lady uses the word "revenge" often but she is mixing up revenge with "natural consequences". These people lived the natural consequences of their own actions, she merely grew the backbone to prod it all into position.
An easy workout that feels productive is weight training. Simply buying a couple 10-20lbs dumbbells can do wonders, simply doing reps of 10 for each major arm workout.
S1: OP shouldn't be feeling any guilt at all, in fact she should be feeling proud of her actions by stopping these maggots from destroying others lives. You know no matter how well you treat and care for pigs, they can't and will never let go of their character, mentality, personality, and behavior. Filth is precious to them, and they cherish living in the filth.
six hour notice? you've already done too much for him.
Question: Does anyone else get kinda pissed off at posters like OP in story 1. I'm talking about her feeling guilty for ruining her Moms and sisters life. The very people that crapped all over her and tormented her for her entire life. Feeling guilty over ruining her fiancées life. After all the lies and his affair with her freaking sister. I just don't get it. I'm just....... What?????REALLY!!!!! WHY????? Are you that spineless, that soft,that brainless. Ugh,ugh,ugh,ugh,ugh. Just wondering if other folks experience this frustration.
Definitely not she's been mentally abused her entire life by 2 narcissist. I can tell by your post that you don't really understand what that entails. The best part of the story is her realizing this and no longer feeling guilty.
@@truthbringer-6748 The fact that she was coming to the realization that there was no reason for her to feel guilty is great. For me, it's just sad and inferiorating to see/hear a person who has finally gotten out, to actually feel compassion for their bully. Or fear that they have turned into a similar type. Or espessially that their bully didn't deserve the consequences. Yes, I do know. Don't worry,we are all strangers here. By your reply, I'm guessing that you have your own experience as well. Have a good day hun.
"pick the events that work for the schedule"
"any except this one"
"ok, that's the one we'll do"
If theres a guilt/sorry she should feel.. its for the kids, that they lost a better lifestyle.. but even then its not her fault.. so not that she's guilty of their conditiom.. but having parents like that.. even i am sorry for those kids..
1st story : Op dodged a major bullet and the trash is gone. Hope she heals soon from all those years of abuse and neglect.
2nd story : I honestly despise people who look down on cleaners. It's an honest job that benefits everyone. People who act that way should try and spend one day without cleaners, rubbish removal personnel, delivery drivers, warehouse and factory workers, truck drivers, servers and pot washers etc... I'd love to see those who act so disgustingly survive in a world without the baseline...
AITA question is strange. Is a banker is guilty because the bank was robbed and he testified in court about the robbery and the robber? Is OP guilty that her sister was sleeping around? NTA
Another story from Bizarro world.
Just how long is this sport season? 2 months?
I belive you were riight
I love a good karmic revenge.
If this is true, OP is a massive AH - does this think that all kids look like their fathers even if they are theirs? But what impact does she think this has had on her youngest nephew? The mum and ex-fiance deserve all they get however. The dad is culpable however - and he is an AH for screwing over his soon to be ex-wife in the divorce (not excusing cheating, however, she has has essentially been a single parent for years) and his poor parenting as generally happens in pre-nups.
S2, Op your family and friends sounds like they are snobs and look down upon others who have a service ,hospitality or cleaning job ,all these jobs are labour intensive on the body and cleaning is a great way to get fit as you stretch ,bend and lift heavy weights such as full mop buckets and you stretch to clean high places and you bend when you sweeping and pulling out equipment that needs cleaned behind .NTA
Love it. Being paid to lose weight and socialize.
NO YOU DIDN’T CREATE THIS THEY DID !!!!
Story 2
You should tell your parents you don't care what others say , you are making extra money and you are still working as a software engineer, your parents are snobs ,I did think anyone should who is a true friends will not worry please save your extra money and get away from those snobs because that what they are
Go and invest your extra income and never assist these friends and family will come to you when they want someone please remember to say no they could not possibly want you money earned through such low employment
why do people feel like aholes after the deed? it's because they aren't aholes and just responding to other's actions which as we all know in science and in life for every action there's an equal and opposite reaction. normally a nice person 99% of the time revert to that after the deed and feel bad. but don't it's how you live after that counts. (just an addon but that last line was just about the gayest thing i've ever said.)
Regardless of whether or not it sounds "gay" it's the deadass truth. When you find out someone has betrayed you, you make sure to do everything in your power to expose them to everyone as the scumbags they really are. Get some justified revenge and then once all is said and done and their lives are in the crapper, wash your hands of both the situation and of them. And from that point on, don't give them another thought and just focus on improving and making a better life for yourself. Getting revenge isn't always a really bad thing; just don't allow the need for it to overrule your life.
Story 3
Please let me ask you what are the benefits of this marriage, please write down a pro and con list
You should never have married this selfish individual he doesn't seem to care about you or your children so please you are not happy so why are you staying with him ,I think you should consider if you want to remain in your marriage,I think you should divorce him why are you staying in this marriage he doesn't care,he doesn't see you I think you should ask him to go to marriage counseling or divorce seems the only option enough is enough
Story 3.. for your next Bday.. plan a nice trip to some beach resort ( or whatever YOU like to do/go/see) somewhere,,, then go.. if he cannot leave his "sport" for you.. go without him. he needs a wake up call. Also, from now on, he gets NO MORE attention/planning to HIS BDAY.. than he gives to yours. What a self centered AH he is!!!
I don't understand why people suffer to the point they can merely feel alive at all. NTA, they deserve more suffering in my opinion but it's great you cut them of your life.
Story 3 they was like that before you married them it was a foregone conclusion that they would continue to be like that after you married them I wouldn't have married him if it was going to bother me so much and I would never make someone give up something they are passionate about because I don't like it The Audacity Of Me to marry someone knowing what their passionate about and knowing that they're a little obsessed with it and that they get a little deeply involved and then for me to say I don't like it anymore you need to stop what I would say is you're neglecting your family I don't mind that you are involved in your passions but you need to give us a little more time and if you can't do that then we need to go our separate ways. that's how that should be handled.
S1 Right at the start itself, I feel OP is 50% at fault. Knowing Jessica and mom, she continues to have a relationship with them and even listens to them. Actions have consequences.
I believe now Satan spawns satan
I simply do not understand why you Redditor narrators do not ‘get’ punctuation. You read straight through, oblivious to any commas, periods, semi-colons, etc. and leaving the reader wondering if you actually understand the text of the story. At least your transcription is fairly accurate.
Tell your parents that they are right and you will be quitting and giving two weeks notice on Monday. Then I would have told them, if there is anything important or anything they wish me to know or to tell me, they have two weeks to do so because once they are no longer working as a lowly cleaner and only as a prestigious computer programmer, I will have a reputation to protect and I can't be seen hanging around with nobodys like them so please gather your thoughts, you have two weeks before I disown you and never speak to you again !!! cleaning