Bianca decided that the best time to collect on a debt is the day that someone could legally walk away forever? Or even that there is a debt? She is so very lucky that her ring wasn't put over a candle.
Better question - how could OP''s parents consider Bianca a miracle baby when they didn't have the same parents? That's literally the definition of 'step siblings'.
It was her lie to her fiancée so he would be on her side during the announcement she told him she had permission to announce but it was a surprise party by her parents lol. Lots of holes in Bianca stories if you look
S1: Burning Bianca's list of demands was a boss move! Those shiny fangs will serve OP well in the future. And Bianca lost her fiance, priceless! So glad Ryan didn't simp out. I hope OP stays NC with these wretched "family".
I hope that her family gets what they deserve: To be B Bianca's servants for the rest of their lives. OP said she was giving them money since she was 17 (I have a problem with parents taking money kids can save for college, anyway), how much does anyone bet the diva Bianca NEVER has contributed anything to the household? It sounds like at the time of the party, she was living with her boyfriend, but I'll bet she was NEVER required to contribute even when she lived at home.
OP #1...Damn, OP was a pure USDA Boss Bad Ass for utilizing the birthday candle flame as an "fiery" editorial to older sister's four page list of duties/expectations for her wedding from her younger sister. Bianca seems to be a Ph.D candidate specializing in Revisionist History where she LIED!! to her fiance about having prior permission from OP to announce her engagement. Not only did OP see the light regarding his fiancee's true character (or lack of it!!) but also the federal holiday-sized red flag waving point blank in his face about his future wife. Bullet Dodged!!! That marriage would've been more disastrous than all the hit Hollywood disaster films of the 1970's combined.
Bianca is also not family. And, no, the OP doesn't owe Ryan and Bianca a damn thing. Burning Bianca's list of demands is even better than having whipped cream as birthday cake icing, although having whipped cream as birthday cake icing is also awesome for all the right reasons.
Same here. Not only should OP go total NC with her mother, stepfather, and Bianca, she should also move with her boyfriend to another state, to start a new life, and grow her own family consisting of friends who are good people. She can invite her bio-dad, her, her old friends, her boyfriend's parents, and Bianca's ex-fiance Ryan to visit/hang out her in her new state, any time she wants.
Another woman basically give my bf a lap dance at the our friends wedding! How do I survive my wedding? If that woman will be there... My bf invited her! th-cam.com/video/JzXzp1YSiLE/w-d-xo.html
I predict that, the mother will look at pics of OP walking across the stage at her college graduation, pics of OP celebrating her fresh start in her new state, pics OP at her wedding, and baby shower with her replacement family (her beau, his parents, and her friends), plus, pics of OP with her beau and their new baby, and not only have a hard time figuring out why OP went NO CONTACT with her, but also have a hard time figuring out why OP excluded her from those important events, and decided to include her bio-dad, instead. And when the mother's new husband, divorces her, and Bianca goes to prison, she'll try to call OP, and beg her forgiveness, but to no avail, because she'll change her phone number, delete her social media accounts, and get a P.O. box.⚠️
If I were OP, I would have Bianca and her parents, plus any family/friends that sided with them blocked on all of my social media, plus change my settings to PRIVATE. And I would strongly consider changing my username(s) to make it harder to find me with a throwaway account.
OP does not make her relationship with Bianca clear. She calls her a step-sister when in fact, they share a mother. OP's bio father would be the guy in the picture now, not much of a father, and Bianca's bio father would be the mother's first husband. In any event, the mother and her current husband, plus Bianca, should be absolutely no contact with OP being that they are malignant narcissists. They will search for OP and find all those pics you speak of and would want to resume a relationship to try to ruin OP again. It's what narcissists do. There is a reason why NPD was removed from the DSM-10. The world is full of them.
When I was a kid my best friend's older sister has a nickname for me that sort of played off my actual name. It irked me for years until I realized that there was more affection than malice in it. To this day she's the only one to have been able to turn my name inside out, and as I get older it's now a treasured memory.
Poor Jia. She's a heavy girl who has very low self esteem and probably thinks having ANY boyfriend is better than not having one at all, so she will put up with any emotional abuse to keep him. Very sad.
Gia would rather turn a blind eye. He WILL marry her but then cheat on her continuosly! He sees her as wife and mother material but nothing more! And I guarantee he won't feel bad but the upbringing they had will make him genuinely feel justified, Sad!
I ended up with three nicknames technically depending on which family member it was. One cousin spells it completely wrong, sounds the same but he added two extra letters and three quarters are the wrong ones, but I've never bothered correcting him because it's kind of like a secret security code. If I ever got a text from him with it spelled correctly I'd know it's not him.
My daughter had a special nickname given to her by my great uncle when she was a newborn. That's all he ever called her, she loved him very much and loved the nickname, but at around 3 years old she made it very clear that uncle E was the only person allowed to call her that. He sadly passed away when she was 5, and no one has ever called her that since.
My daughter is a plus size woman. She and her husband have been married for 16 years. I have heard him compliments her and seen the love he has for her. They are happy. I heard him call his playgirl one time. Almost made me cry. Made me so happy.
S2: there’s definitely was a better way. How about telling your family to shut up in front of Gia? Family, how would you like I discuss your imperfections? Your brother is a massive duck. My bet is that he’s quite attracted to bigger women but he’s embarrassed to admit it. Meanwhile, his supposed love for her is sad when he won’t even stand up to his family hurting his girl. A real loser that one.
Sometimes people aren't with their physical ideal partner. If I could wave a magic wand over my partner and turn her into the what I most desire, she would change quite a bit. I assume the same would happen to me when it was her turn with the wand. There are far more important things in choosing a life partner. The fact he wouldn't stand up to his family is the concerning part. He isn't a man if he lacks a spine. Maybe that is why his previous attractive partners didn't respect him and left?
Story two. I know a family like that. The son married a full figured woman. His family was pretty noisy about it and they had to cut contact to a minimum. The son loved his bride with all his heart and will leave the family if they keep it up.
S2 is a sticky situation. She might have been talked-about her whole life and been beaten down enough to expect people to not find her attractive. It's all the text messaging like that, that really push it beyond the normal distastefulness. OP wasn't wrong to say something. OP was wrong to be as blunt as that and shove all the text messaging in her face.
Story 1) OP , your PARENTS are wrong for NOT SHUTTING Bianca down like a ton of bricks the FIRST time she pulled this rot. Go NC with the AH Bianca ( restraining order too, btw... . Glad that Ryan broke up with that AH. Story 2) Jia is too good for OP's AH family. Why the bleep was the OP not defending Jia against the AH shallow and bullying family members??? Oh, the boyfriend is JUNK and garbage too for failing to defend the girlfriend. I hope that she wises up and DUMPS his arse. story 3) Nicknames can hurt like all get out. The nephew does NOT want the rest of the family using that nickname for him. I had one that my siblings loved to use ( against me,) and my mom thought that it was such a cute nickname. I HATED it with a passion. I did not find its use "loving" or "nice" or WHATever.
I've called my nephew Tank since he was born. He was 10lbs at birth and I said my God you've given birth to a Tank! I'm the only one who uses it but I have asked him throughout the years if it's still OK because it his HIS choice if a nickname is OK and nobody else gets a say in it. Also, I have chosen to only use it around family or close friends. I never call him that in front of his school friends.
If you slipped, you could always say it’s because he’s like a tank. A tank goes through things, over things, makes a path for an an army & is a definite asset in battle.
If your brother won’t defend her then YOU defend her. Tell them she’s beautiful & that she has an inside beauty too that will never fade. But surface beauty will fade & eventually the ugliness that lives inside those who have only surface beauty will not only become how they look on the outside but will show everyone who they truly are.
Story 3 :- I am 70+(not telling what exactly!) and after emailing my cousin a question about my mum during WW11 just recently - 2 weeks ago , she referred to me as Tinker, short for Tinkerbell! That side of my family (darling aunt, darling uncle and darling cousin) were the only ones I allowed to call me that, so I can understand Blip only allowing you. You are both obviously so very fond of each other. Well done, congrats for achieving "coolest and best uncle" 'cos that's what you've done!!!! God bless you and Blip. Tell the rest... VERY LOUD RASPBERRY! XXXX
I'm 59. I still treasure the relationship I had with my maternal grandfather. I was his youngest grandchild. We were buddies from day 1. He had a special nickname for me and I got to call him by his initials, PJ. It's been more than 2 decades since he passed. I still miss him to this day and treasure that special name.
Last story- The nickname is special and specifically for the two of them. Nobody else. My hubby and I call our grown niece rugrat and she still arm-wrestles and they pick on each other, while we do the same with her kiddos. 4 against 1 now, 2 if I interene. 😄 Each of her kiddos have nicknames, that were earned by their infant/toddler behavior. The nicknames are ours. Nobody else's.
Don not listen to people who tell you to ignore or stay silent about other people’s abuse under any circumstances. Always stand up for yourself (because no one else will) and if ignored or downplayed the abuse continues and will escalate. If you are non-confrontational tell someone you trust and ask for help with the situation.
Nickname: It's a special bond between Uncle's and Nephew's. My 6yo nephew is 'Monkey Man', but only I can call him that. Not even his Dad, who is his favorite person, can call him that.
The last one. I have a large extended family, many are only called by their nicknames. Some only by certain people. My grandfather always called me naisy daisy. No one else. One cousin always called my mom Aunt Itchy. I’m the only one who calls one cousin Dooley. And another one Pooh Bear. My dad was called Curly by family. Some nick names are just between two or three people and some are used by everyone. It is up to the individual as to who calls them by a nickname.
S1: If OP ever tries to get back with her parents or sis, even for the sake of family's reputation, then she lost the battle and would be the biggest YTA for putting down others help and encouragement.
Your sister, Bianca, is a complete nightmare. Hopefully she does something that eventually makes your parents realize that what you’ve been saying all these years was the truth. It won’t change her but may make them actually see the light in regards to your sister. Since your parents are blind to her BS narcissistic ways I would stay no contact with all 3 of them. Your friends are the family you choose and I would keep them close. It’s a great thing that you helped her fiancé see the real Bianca before it was to late.
Story 2: NTA From now on you don't have to have a bad conscience!!! She chose this type of abuse despite the information!!! Some people are doormats like Gia!!!!!
Parents may have a miracle child, but that does not give them an excuse to neglect and ignore any other children they have or will have. I wish sometimes these people cannot get pregnant if this is how they treat their kids.
Love the dog piling on story one. That said I hope one day she can repair her relationship with her sister one day. My second oldest sister became a black ship for many many years till around 30 she finally grew up.
SHOULD HAVE TOLD GIA ! A LONG LONG LONG LONG TIME AGO ! GIA HAS ABSOLUTELY NO SELF ESTEEM ! YOU DID TRY ! DOES GIA. HAVE A MOTHER & FATHER ??? YOU DID THE ABSOLUTE RIGHT THING !
I agree with that one comment about Jia not feeling like she deserves better. I felt that way with my ex too. It took a lot for me to leave him. It's hard to give up on a relationship sometimes when you have invested years into it, and grew up being mentally abused. You yend to just accept things so you are not alone. But now I have discovered it's better to be alone than let the hurts continue to pile on. Now I am ver protective of my heart, I won't let anyone near me if I have the slightest inckling they will hurt me in some way. I am just done with it all.
Story # 3. even though you meant well, it was bothering you, how they were talking about her, and you felt she needed to know what she was getting herself into, sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth, there’s alot of people out there, who gets warning signs or see or hear things about the person their going to marry and still marry them anyway
Here's the thing about the "ugly child" in a family of narcissists... The narcissists and/or their enablers KNOW they are being wrong, that if people knew the truth nobody would like them, they lie and go batshit ballistic if anyone ever questions them, but always, absolutely always, they will need to blame somebody and that somebody will ALWAYS be the "ugly child". And as long as the "ugly child" is around (paying bills, helping with stuff, just about anything to be accepted and loved, because "we're family!"), the "ugly child" will be responsible for all of it. For the good stuff, they will never be thanked, for the bad stuff they will be dragged through the gutters of an extended family/social media... Now, watch what happens when one day (it depends on the support group WHEN that is) the "ugly child" goes: 'F this. I'm outta here.' The family falls apart like a house of cards.
Why do so many people think that it is such an honor to be part of a wedding or to assist in the planning of a wedding? Even attend a wedding. Other than your parents (some of them anyway) people who show up at wedding don't care about you. They care about free food and getting drunk. Second story. How will the family treat grandchildren if they look like her? Are you willing to put your children through that kind of life?
Story 1 - It sounds like op's parents only care they're going to lose money from op moving out. They suck. NTA. I admire op's shiny spine moment of using her birthday candle to burn her sister's ridiculous list. Bianca is on a fast track to jail if she thinks acting psychotic in response to rejection is acceptable.
Wow imagine having a life that it's apparently so perfect that the thing you start a family disaster over is somebody not being allowed to use a special nickname
Your nephew can tell them that if they keep using the nickname he will not answer & will stop having contact with them. You might keep the name for when it’s just you & him. Maybe you & your nephew can come up with nicknames for the toxic family? Stepgrannydearest is one that comes to mind. & you can have a family movie night where you all watch “Mommy Dearest” Muahaha
I had 2 uncles that called me Jabbo. I was a very quiet kid. I had 2 narcissist older sisters and one older brother I loved it when my uncles said it but hated it from someone else. It (I) was special when they said it when I had never been special to anyone other than my brother before. I understand the nefew.
My children have nicknames that they do not allow others outside of me, grandpa or each other to use. Grandma and Dad also got to use them before they passed but extended family, friends, and others would get told off for trying to use them
Children who never parent their kids with treated like a kings and queens becomes psycopaths and/or psychopaths. Its worse like the recent pandemic. The mobilephones are useful as evidence when people acting psychopathic. We can choose our friends but stay no contact with toxic families. Try to not to let the toxic families drag you down. Life is to short to waist on negative people. Reach for your dreams and stay good. There is enough toxic people in our world. Our job is to make it better. And thats whats matters.
@@joancampbell1377 Same mother and different fathers would be half-sisters, not step-sisters. The same as if they had the same father and different mothers. Step-siblings are when person A who already has a child, marries person B who also already has a child. A's child and B's child are not related by blood. They are step-siblings. A is the step-parent to B's child, and B is the step-parent to A's child. If A and B then have a child together, that child would then be a half-sibling to both the other children.
BE A GUEST ! BE A GUEST ! GO ON A MINI VACATION ! WEEK OF THE WEDDING 💒 !!! GET YOUR HAIR & NAILS 💅 DONE ! PROFESSIONALLY ! DAY ! OF ! THE ! WEDDING 💒 !
Jia is getting what she deserves and wants, shes getting her 9-10/10 man, shes got what she cares about, she will divorce him once shes got a kid or 3 under her belt from him/the guys she cheats with because hes such a shit... who dosnt find her attractive... they all deserve eachother, other then OP who.... i wouldnt have emulated, but thats due to my own exp and watching such things never ever go well.. nobody is ever happy to be told uncomfortable truths, reassuring lies are much preferred by most people.
Story 1 : Good for OP in standing up for herself and burning that list . That she announced her engagement at the party by stopping it mid way was bad enough but to actually dare to give OP a to do list without even making her a bridesmaid at her birthday party that she had just hijacked ..that was just her deliberately being evil by purposely rubbing salt in the wound. So glad that Ryan found out the truth so he could run away as fast as he could. Although he does deserve a few smacks from OP for not even realizing that her sister clearly was not telling him everything by the way OP reacted. Then he didn't realize that even with permission Bianca still was being highly inappropriate and disrespectful when she abruptly stopped the party mid way before OP even blew out her candles and then really overstepped in giving her that list AT the party. These were things that he should have known were not right no matter what. Good for OP in getting out and I hope she goes NC with her horrible family.
I remember when I was a kid my mom‘s best friend son, who was like an older brother to me would call my mom a certain nickname and then my sister‘s best friend in school started to call my mom that same nickname and it upset me a lot I didn’t like her calling her that She still calls our mom that nickname I think her kids use the nickname as well. I wouldn’t know since they went no contact.
My foster family shortened my German name to an English version that I hated. The damn thing stuck to me like glue all the way through school. When I got out on my own, I chose to be called by my original name. There was only one person who I allowed to call me by that hated moniker. He was French Canadian & the way he pronounced was acceptably different. I never corrected him. A sweet man who I never realize had affection for me until after his death, when a mutual friend mentioned it. A bittersweet memory...
on the nickname thing, I was like this growing up, my sister called me Linds, she was the only person I allowed to call me that, as for my screen name on here my MIL gave me the nickname Linny the first night I ever met her, and then my sister's step-son picked up on it and would call me that, sadly he is no longer in my life after my sister and his dad divorced in 2005, but my MIL called my Linny up until the day she died in 2011, and due to my MIL calling me Linny, my SIL also was introduced to me as Linny and she still calls me that until this day, but honestly I dont get pissed if anyone else calls me that, I just usually dont pay attention because its not a name I am used to everyone using, but my SIL can say it and I somehow always hear her, but its due to that is what she has called me for 19 years of my life. Til this day there is only one person that can call me Linds and I answer to it and that is still my sister, my husband will sometimes say it when he is trying to get my attention with other people around but his nickname for me usually is asshole, but most people get offended when he calls me that and I actually answer to it, he has always called me that, I think its funny and it doesnt bother me one bit because I can be one 99% of the time, but the one thing I can say that man has never once called me in 19 years and that bitch and he has drilled it into our boys that they better never call a female that and that if he ever hears them say it they are not going to like the outcome
Story2: i think Jia is very pathetic, that is future doormat right there. You already know that your boyfriend thinks that you're ugly and only sees you as mother of his future children and good house cleaner. And still sticking with him and blaming OP. Yeah she deserves every struggle in the future.
S1: I’m confused at why she would have a list with her. If she was proper to in secret while people were singing she wouldn’t have known. Or did she not get proposed to then and there she must’ve just busted in just to ruin the singing and cake time.
Story 3 : OP is NTA because he started that nickname himself from the nephews birth and the nephew obviously knows the cute story behind it which is why he only wants OP to use it. He clearly cherishes having that one special thing with uncle OP and he really just doesn't like the fact that others want to abruptly hone in on something that doesn't have the same meaning or connection with them. The nephew clearly wants OP to continue to use it so OP needs to tell the others that no he won't stop using his special nickname for his nephew. It's been used by him since the nephews birth and his nephew himself has never objected to HIM using it..only others have...just because THEY tried to hone in but got the boundaries of the nephews objection....which is NOT a good reason for him to stop. OP can continue as he and his nephew please and eventually the family will either have to deal with it or given the nephews already strong boundaries he will step up to put the argument to rest by telling everyone that's OP's nickname for him and they don't get to hone in on it ..period.. so deal with it.
Story #1: I can’t believe the audacity of people saying she should have ignored Bianca when she pulled her stunt at the party; but where was that tactic when they all surrounded her congratulating on her engagement during the signing of happy birthday? 🙄
Story one: I’m glad OP realized at such a young age that she was never going to be important to her parents and that they would let her sister abuse her forever and just GOT OUT. The only thing for OP to do is just block them on everything and never talk to the POSs who should love her unconditionally but don’t EVER AGAIN.
My dad calls me moe and no one else does Bc they don’t know why he calls me that (moe Jo Jojo from power puff girls. I was a mean kid. He means it in a loving way lol) so I would be mad if someone else called me that
people need to grow spines and cut shit out before it gets to that point. holding things in does nothing for you and only allows the entitled person to be emboldened by the very act of putting up with it.
Story # 1 - Taking the four-page "to-do" list and burning it from the candle on the birthday was an absolutely boss move. Good job!
Bianca decided that the best time to collect on a debt is the day that someone could legally walk away forever? Or even that there is a debt? She is so very lucky that her ring wasn't put over a candle.
It was actually a psycho move and OP should never see her again, ever.
AGREED.
An update as to the parents reaction when they found out about the restraining order placed on Bianca would be great!
How could Bianca get her permission when it was a surprise party?
Right? Lol. But the parents, who threw the surprise party, calling it a stupid birthday? Wow.
That’s what I thought.
Better question - how could OP''s parents consider Bianca a miracle baby when they didn't have the same parents? That's literally the definition of 'step siblings'.
For me there are a lot of inconsistencies in the first story.
It was her lie to her fiancée so he would be on her side during the announcement she told him she had permission to announce but it was a surprise party by her parents lol. Lots of holes in Bianca stories if you look
S1: Burning Bianca's list of demands was a boss move! Those shiny fangs will serve OP well in the future. And Bianca lost her fiance, priceless! So glad Ryan didn't simp out. I hope OP stays NC with these wretched "family".
Most certainly she doesn't need them in her life..
I hope that her family gets what they deserve: To be B Bianca's servants for the rest of their lives. OP said she was giving them money since she was 17 (I have a problem with parents taking money kids can save for college, anyway), how much does anyone bet the diva Bianca NEVER has contributed anything to the household? It sounds like at the time of the party, she was living with her boyfriend, but I'll bet she was NEVER required to contribute even when she lived at home.
Announcing a wedding at 18 year old birthday party is disgusting🤬
At *any* birthday party that isn't your own.
First story: the ex owes OP big time. Forget dodging a bullet op helped him dodge the Deathstar laser.
Good one! I like your style!!
I like your style as well, Gary!!!
Is it safe to assume you're a "Star Wars" fan?
@@KDC256 as well as a Trek fan ( on NBC so that might date me just a bit) anime nerd and overall geek.
@@garysprandel1817 Embrace your inner geekness!!
Obviously ignoring Bianca over the years has NOT worked. OP IS NTA. Not sure how she has put up with either sister or her parents.
OP #1...Damn, OP was a pure USDA Boss Bad Ass for utilizing the birthday candle flame as an "fiery" editorial to older sister's four page list of duties/expectations for her wedding from her younger sister.
Bianca seems to be a Ph.D candidate specializing in Revisionist History where she LIED!! to her fiance about having prior permission from OP to announce her engagement.
Not only did OP see the light regarding his fiancee's true character (or lack of it!!) but also the federal holiday-sized red flag waving point blank in his face about his future wife. Bullet Dodged!!!
That marriage would've been more disastrous than all the hit Hollywood disaster films of the 1970's combined.
Bianca is a half sister. A step sister/brother is an unrelated child that joins the family when their parent marries your parent.
IKR.
Bianca is also not family.
And, no, the OP doesn't owe Ryan and Bianca a damn thing.
Burning Bianca's list of demands is even better than having whipped cream as birthday cake icing, although having whipped cream as birthday cake icing is also awesome for all the right reasons.
#2: shooting the messenger has a long and dishonorable history.
If I was op I would go no contact with her family and let her family deal with Bianca and op live her best life story 1
Amen.
Agreed! 💚😺
Same here. Not only should OP go total NC with her mother, stepfather, and Bianca, she should also move with her boyfriend to another state, to start a new life, and grow her own family consisting of friends who are good people. She can invite her bio-dad, her, her old friends, her boyfriend's parents, and Bianca's ex-fiance Ryan to visit/hang out her in her new state, any time she wants.
Another woman basically give my bf a lap dance at the our friends wedding! How do I survive my wedding? If that woman will be there... My bf invited her! th-cam.com/video/JzXzp1YSiLE/w-d-xo.html
@Timothy Robertson I don’t know why
I predict that, the mother will look at pics of OP walking across the stage at her college graduation, pics of OP celebrating her fresh start in her new state, pics OP at her wedding, and baby shower with her replacement family (her beau, his parents, and her friends), plus, pics of OP with her beau and their new baby, and not only have a hard time figuring out why OP went NO CONTACT with her, but also have a hard time figuring out why OP excluded her from those important events, and decided to include her bio-dad, instead.
And when the mother's new husband, divorces her, and Bianca goes to prison, she'll try to call OP, and beg her forgiveness, but to no avail, because she'll change her phone number, delete her social media accounts, and get a P.O. box.⚠️
You need to write this as a novella!
If I were OP, I would have Bianca and her parents, plus any family/friends that sided with them blocked on all of my social media, plus change my settings to PRIVATE. And I would strongly consider changing my username(s) to make it harder to find me with a throwaway account.
OP does not make her relationship with Bianca clear. She calls her a step-sister when in fact, they share a mother. OP's bio father would be the guy in the picture now, not much of a father, and Bianca's bio father would be the mother's first husband. In any event, the mother and her current husband, plus Bianca, should be absolutely no contact with OP being that they are malignant narcissists. They will search for OP and find all those pics you speak of and would want to resume a relationship to try to ruin OP again. It's what narcissists do. There is a reason why NPD was removed from the DSM-10. The world is full of them.
We can but hope OP’s mother gets that dose of karma.
"It's About Damn Time" - Lizzo on this Bianca situation!
Being the bigger person and walk away usually means let them get away with it so they can do it again and again. Should of slap the light out of them.
When I was a kid my best friend's older sister has a nickname for me that sort of played off my actual name. It irked me for years until I realized that there was more affection than malice in it. To this day she's the only one to have been able to turn my name inside out, and as I get older it's now a treasured memory.
Poor Jia. She's a heavy girl who has very low self esteem and probably thinks having ANY boyfriend is better than not having one at all, so she will put up with any emotional abuse to keep him. Very sad.
It is sad especially his family talking about her in this way he is an Ash just wish she would get the nerve to leave him...
It's convenient that it was an 18th birthday. If it wasn't for the toxic family, Ryaan would've been a great BIL. Pitchfork Bianca.
The only one who deserves an apology is OP not Bianka and her parents should be an op side
OP needs to go full NC with the parents and Bianca. She will have a much happier life. I am so glad that Bianca lost her fiance'.
It is terrible when parents favour one child more than the other just not right...
Gia would rather turn a blind eye. He WILL marry her but then cheat on her continuosly! He sees her as wife and mother material but nothing more! And I guarantee he won't feel bad but the upbringing they had will make him genuinely feel justified, Sad!
I ended up with three nicknames technically depending on which family member it was. One cousin spells it completely wrong, sounds the same but he added two extra letters and three quarters are the wrong ones, but I've never bothered correcting him because it's kind of like a secret security code. If I ever got a text from him with it spelled correctly I'd know it's not him.
My daughter had a special nickname given to her by my great uncle when she was a newborn. That's all he ever called her, she loved him very much and loved the nickname, but at around 3 years old she made it very clear that uncle E was the only person allowed to call her that. He sadly passed away when she was 5, and no one has ever called her that since.
As I've said before, there's the family you're born in and the *real* family you find.
A huge list for her wedding plans, some family better be on OP side seriously
Disappointed in you you did nothing wrong OP you told her fiancé the truth, which she should’ve not lied to him in the first place
It sounds like everyone but her parents are on OP's side, in they think sister was wrong, but some think OP should have ignored her.
My daughter is a plus size woman. She and her husband have been married for 16 years. I have heard him compliments her and seen the love he has for her. They are happy. I heard him call his playgirl one time. Almost made me cry. Made me so happy.
S2: there’s definitely was a better way. How about telling your family to shut up in front of Gia? Family, how would you like I discuss your imperfections?
Your brother is a massive duck. My bet is that he’s quite attracted to bigger women but he’s embarrassed to admit it. Meanwhile, his supposed love for her is sad when he won’t even stand up to his family hurting his girl. A real loser that one.
Sometimes people aren't with their physical ideal partner. If I could wave a magic wand over my partner and turn her into the what I most desire, she would change quite a bit. I assume the same would happen to me when it was her turn with the wand. There are far more important things in choosing a life partner. The fact he wouldn't stand up to his family is the concerning part. He isn't a man if he lacks a spine. Maybe that is why his previous attractive partners didn't respect him and left?
Story two. I know a family like that. The son married a full figured woman. His family was pretty noisy about it and they had to cut contact to a minimum. The son loved his bride with all his heart and will leave the family if they keep it up.
He sounds a lot nicer than OP's brother.
S2 is a sticky situation. She might have been talked-about her whole life and been beaten down enough to expect people to not find her attractive. It's all the text messaging like that, that really push it beyond the normal distastefulness. OP wasn't wrong to say something. OP was wrong to be as blunt as that and shove all the text messaging in her face.
Story 1) OP , your PARENTS are wrong for NOT SHUTTING Bianca down like a ton of bricks the FIRST time she pulled this rot. Go NC with the AH Bianca ( restraining order too, btw... . Glad that Ryan broke up with that AH.
Story 2) Jia is too good for OP's AH family. Why the bleep was the OP not defending Jia against the AH shallow and bullying family members??? Oh, the boyfriend is JUNK and garbage too for failing to defend the girlfriend. I hope that she wises up and DUMPS his arse.
story 3) Nicknames can hurt like all get out. The nephew does NOT want the rest of the family using that nickname for him. I had one that my siblings loved to use ( against me,) and my mom thought that it was such a cute nickname. I HATED it with a passion. I did not find its use "loving" or "nice" or WHATever.
I've called my nephew Tank since he was born. He was 10lbs at birth and I said my God you've given birth to a Tank! I'm the only one who uses it but I have asked him throughout the years if it's still OK because it his HIS choice if a nickname is OK and nobody else gets a say in it. Also, I have chosen to only use it around family or close friends. I never call him that in front of his school friends.
My nephew's nickname is "Lumpy" because he used to lay on my dad's chest like a little lump.
If you slipped, you could always say it’s because he’s like a tank. A tank goes through things, over things, makes a path for an an army & is a definite asset in battle.
Ryan was saved by op. Take care Op and enjoy your future with your bf😁
He'll No ! Tell parents don't be surprised WHEN not if sister burns down their house
That shallow family might end up ridiculing Jias future children too if they feel they "lack" in any way.
If your brother won’t defend her then YOU defend her. Tell them she’s beautiful & that she has an inside beauty too that will never fade. But surface beauty will fade & eventually the ugliness that lives inside those who have only surface beauty will not only become how they look on the outside but will show everyone who they truly are.
Story 3 :- I am 70+(not telling what exactly!) and after emailing my cousin a question about my mum during WW11 just recently - 2 weeks ago , she referred to me as Tinker, short for Tinkerbell! That side of my family (darling aunt, darling uncle and darling cousin) were the only ones I allowed to call me that, so I can understand Blip only allowing you. You are both obviously so very fond of each other. Well done, congrats for achieving "coolest and best uncle" 'cos that's what you've done!!!! God bless you and Blip. Tell the rest... VERY LOUD RASPBERRY! XXXX
I'm 59. I still treasure the relationship I had with my maternal grandfather. I was his youngest grandchild. We were buddies from day 1. He had a special nickname for me and I got to call him by his initials, PJ. It's been more than 2 decades since he passed. I still miss him to this day and treasure that special name.
Now that's how you do a righteous F U power move! Screw em!
Last story- The nickname is special and specifically for the two of them. Nobody else. My hubby and I call our grown niece rugrat and she still arm-wrestles and they pick on each other, while we do the same with her kiddos. 4 against 1 now, 2 if I interene. 😄 Each of her kiddos have nicknames, that were earned by their infant/toddler behavior. The nicknames are ours. Nobody else's.
I've cut out toxic relatives. Feels wonderful. I highly recommend. Do not hesitate. You are better off without the energy leeches.
Don not listen to people who tell you to ignore or stay silent about other people’s abuse under any circumstances. Always stand up for yourself (because no one else will) and if ignored or downplayed the abuse continues and will escalate. If you are non-confrontational tell someone you trust and ask for help with the situation.
Nickname: It's a special bond between Uncle's and Nephew's.
My 6yo nephew is 'Monkey Man', but only I can call him that. Not even his Dad, who is his favorite person, can call him that.
S1 NTA, anyone who sides with "not the birthday girl" dumping the birthday cake isnt worth ever speaking to again.
The last one. I have a large extended family, many are only called by their nicknames. Some only by certain people. My grandfather always called me naisy daisy. No one else. One cousin always called my mom Aunt Itchy. I’m the only one who calls one cousin Dooley. And another one Pooh Bear. My dad was called Curly by family. Some nick names are just between two or three people and some are used by everyone. It is up to the individual as to who calls them by a nickname.
S1: If OP ever tries to get back with her parents or sis, even for the sake of family's reputation, then she lost the battle and would be the biggest YTA for putting down others help and encouragement.
I wish the first story hade one more update so we know what happened to Bianca and parents after everything.
Your sister, Bianca, is a complete nightmare. Hopefully she does something that eventually makes your parents realize that what you’ve been saying all these years was the truth. It won’t change her but may make them actually see the light in regards to your sister. Since your parents are blind to her BS narcissistic ways I would stay no contact with all 3 of them. Your friends are the family you choose and I would keep them close.
It’s a great thing that you helped her fiancé see the real Bianca before it was to late.
Story 2: NTA
From now on you don't have to have a bad conscience!!!
She chose this type of abuse despite the information!!!
Some people are doormats like Gia!!!!!
Parents may have a miracle child, but that does not give them an excuse to neglect and ignore any other children they have or will have. I wish sometimes these people cannot get pregnant if this is how they treat their kids.
Love the dog piling on story one. That said I hope one day she can repair her relationship with her sister one day.
My second oldest sister became a black ship for many many years till around 30 she finally grew up.
SHOULD HAVE TOLD GIA ! A LONG LONG LONG LONG TIME AGO ! GIA HAS ABSOLUTELY NO SELF ESTEEM ! YOU DID TRY ! DOES GIA. HAVE A MOTHER & FATHER ??? YOU DID THE ABSOLUTE RIGHT THING !
OP'S SISTER BIANCA IS SO EVIL +THE PARENTS
I agree with that one comment about Jia not feeling like she deserves better. I felt that way with my ex too. It took a lot for me to leave him. It's hard to give up on a relationship sometimes when you have invested years into it, and grew up being mentally abused. You yend to just accept things so you are not alone.
But now I have discovered it's better to be alone than let the hurts continue to pile on. Now I am ver protective of my heart, I won't let anyone near me if I have the slightest inckling they will hurt me in some way. I am just done with it all.
Gia being a little heavy means she deserves the 'warranted' comments and 'jokes' about her size? Puh-leeeeeze
@Timothy Robertson 🤣
First story Bianca’s gonna be in a orange jumpsuit with numbers printed on it in the near future. MARK MY WORDS WITH A NEON MARKER!
BROTHER ! LOVING ! THE MORE CUSHION 4 THE PUSHING !
Story # 3. even though you meant well, it was bothering you, how they were talking about her, and you felt she needed to know what she was getting herself into, sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth, there’s alot of people out there, who gets warning signs or see or hear things about the person their going to marry and still marry them anyway
4:43 Hell yeah OP. Your a total G.
On the last story when they all figure it out send them a certificate of passing kindergarten see what they think then
KARMA ! MIGHT BE LATE BUT ABSOLUTELY ! ALWAYS ON TIME ! GO 4 BRYON ! HE WOULD HAVE SO SO SO. MISERABLE. HIS WHOLE DAMN LIFE !
I am so sad for Second OP. Jia is an ungrateful doormat.
Exactly why are they so jealous of your relationship with your nephew too rediculous!!!!!
Here's the thing about the "ugly child" in a family of narcissists... The narcissists and/or their enablers KNOW they are being wrong, that if people knew the truth nobody would like them, they lie and go batshit ballistic if anyone ever questions them, but always, absolutely always, they will need to blame somebody and that somebody will ALWAYS be the "ugly child". And as long as the "ugly child" is around (paying bills, helping with stuff, just about anything to be accepted and loved, because "we're family!"), the "ugly child" will be responsible for all of it. For the good stuff, they will never be thanked, for the bad stuff they will be dragged through the gutters of an extended family/social media... Now, watch what happens when one day (it depends on the support group WHEN that is) the "ugly child" goes: 'F this. I'm outta here.' The family falls apart like a house of cards.
And go after each other- or pick a new scapegoat.
Everyone that said you should have ignored her need to be out your house
Why do so many people think that it is such an honor to be part of a wedding or to assist in the planning of a wedding? Even attend a wedding. Other than your parents (some of them anyway) people who show up at wedding don't care about you. They care about free food and getting drunk.
Second story. How will the family treat grandchildren if they look like her? Are you willing to put your children through that kind of life?
Story 1 - It sounds like op's parents only care they're going to lose money from op moving out. They suck. NTA. I admire op's shiny spine moment of using her birthday candle to burn her sister's ridiculous list. Bianca is on a fast track to jail if she thinks acting psychotic in response to rejection is acceptable.
They can now get rent from Bianca. And listen to her histrionics everyday.
"You know how he/she is" is the most bs excuse EVER. If the bad behaviour is so common that you can say that, then correct the behaviour
Wow imagine having a life that it's apparently so perfect that the thing you start a family disaster over is somebody not being allowed to use a special nickname
Sucks dude. I know I wouldn’t mind my little sis or bro telling on my bday but we’re all actually close. Can’t believe they’d do that to you.
Your nephew can tell them that if they keep using the nickname he will not answer & will stop having contact with them.
You might keep the name for when it’s just you & him. Maybe you & your nephew can come up with nicknames for the toxic family? Stepgrannydearest is one that comes to mind. & you can have a family movie night where you all watch “Mommy Dearest” Muahaha
I had 2 uncles that called me Jabbo. I was a very quiet kid. I had 2 narcissist older sisters and one older brother I loved it when my uncles said it but hated it from someone else. It (I) was special when they said it when I had never been special to anyone other than my brother before. I understand the nefew.
1st story , get out of the house and completely cut ties with them.
My children have nicknames that they do not allow others outside of me, grandpa or each other to use. Grandma and Dad also got to use them before they passed but extended family, friends, and others would get told off for trying to use them
Bianca needs to grow up. Life does not revolve around her. She is not the sun. Bianca lied to her fiancé. Oh it’s a great life.
I always say no good deed goes unpunished u did this with the best of intentions but minding ur own business is always the best policy
Children who never parent their kids with treated like a kings and queens becomes psycopaths and/or psychopaths. Its worse like the recent pandemic. The mobilephones are useful as evidence when people acting psychopathic. We can choose our friends but stay no contact with toxic families. Try to not to let the toxic families drag you down. Life is to short to waist on negative people. Reach for your dreams and stay good. There is enough toxic people in our world. Our job is to make it better. And thats whats matters.
Story 1 - How is Bianca a step-sister?? They have the same mother...
Some people confuse half siblings with step siblings. It's not terribly unusual, especially if English isn't the poster's first language.
Think they must have different fathers..
@@joancampbell1377 Same mother and different fathers would be half-sisters, not step-sisters. The same as if they had the same father and different mothers.
Step-siblings are when person A who already has a child, marries person B who also already has a child. A's child and B's child are not related by blood. They are step-siblings. A is the step-parent to B's child, and B is the step-parent to A's child.
If A and B then have a child together, that child would then be a half-sibling to both the other children.
@@joancampbell1377 That's not a step-sister. Same mom & different dads would be half-sisters.
BE A GUEST ! BE A GUEST ! GO ON A MINI VACATION ! WEEK OF THE WEDDING 💒 !!! GET YOUR HAIR & NAILS 💅 DONE ! PROFESSIONALLY ! DAY ! OF ! THE ! WEDDING 💒 !
Be a guest! Go on a quest! Find your own nest!
Jia is getting what she deserves and wants, shes getting her 9-10/10 man, shes got what she cares about, she will divorce him once shes got a kid or 3 under her belt from him/the guys she cheats with because hes such a shit... who dosnt find her attractive...
they all deserve eachother, other then OP who.... i wouldnt have emulated, but thats due to my own exp and watching such things never ever go well.. nobody is ever happy to be told uncomfortable truths, reassuring lies are much preferred by most people.
Story 3 I'm the only one that can still call my 50 year old nephew by his nickname
Story 1 : Good for OP in standing up for herself and burning that list . That she announced her engagement at the party by stopping it mid way was bad enough but to actually dare to give OP a to do list without even making her a bridesmaid at her birthday party that she had just hijacked ..that was just her deliberately being evil by purposely rubbing salt in the wound. So glad that Ryan found out the truth so he could run away as fast as he could. Although he does deserve a few smacks from OP for not even realizing that her sister clearly was not telling him everything by the way OP reacted. Then he didn't realize that even with permission Bianca still was being highly inappropriate and disrespectful when she abruptly stopped the party mid way before OP even blew out her candles and then really overstepped in giving her that list AT the party. These were things that he should have known were not right no matter what. Good for OP in getting out and I hope she goes NC with her horrible family.
Tell Jia to run.
Good for you OP have a great life you have a boyfriend who loves you and good friends be happyxx
I remember when I was a kid my mom‘s best friend son, who was like an older brother to me would call my mom a certain nickname and then my sister‘s best friend in school started to call my mom that same nickname and it upset me a lot I didn’t like her calling her that She still calls our mom that nickname I think her kids use the nickname as well. I wouldn’t know since they went no contact.
OMG HOW AWFUL
My foster family shortened my German name to an English version that I hated. The damn thing stuck to me like glue all the way through school. When I got out on my own, I chose to be called by my original name. There was only one person who I allowed to call me by that hated moniker. He was French Canadian & the way he pronounced was acceptably different. I never corrected him. A sweet man who I never realize had affection for me until after his death, when a mutual friend mentioned it. A bittersweet memory...
Do not do it they are very bad for you!!!!
on the nickname thing, I was like this growing up, my sister called me Linds, she was the only person I allowed to call me that, as for my screen name on here my MIL gave me the nickname Linny the first night I ever met her, and then my sister's step-son picked up on it and would call me that, sadly he is no longer in my life after my sister and his dad divorced in 2005, but my MIL called my Linny up until the day she died in 2011, and due to my MIL calling me Linny, my SIL also was introduced to me as Linny and she still calls me that until this day, but honestly I dont get pissed if anyone else calls me that, I just usually dont pay attention because its not a name I am used to everyone using, but my SIL can say it and I somehow always hear her, but its due to that is what she has called me for 19 years of my life. Til this day there is only one person that can call me Linds and I answer to it and that is still my sister, my husband will sometimes say it when he is trying to get my attention with other people around but his nickname for me usually is asshole, but most people get offended when he calls me that and I actually answer to it, he has always called me that, I think its funny and it doesnt bother me one bit because I can be one 99% of the time, but the one thing I can say that man has never once called me in 19 years and that bitch and he has drilled it into our boys that they better never call a female that and that if he ever hears them say it they are not going to like the outcome
Story2: i think Jia is very pathetic, that is future doormat right there. You already know that your boyfriend thinks that you're ugly and only sees you as mother of his future children and good house cleaner. And still sticking with him and blaming OP. Yeah she deserves every struggle in the future.
Agree she will wake up one day and realise that she is better than what his family and him think of her.
Adopt the ex as a brother. He'll be better than your real family anyway. And he clearly has your back like one.
S1: I’m confused at why she would have a list with her. If she was proper to in secret while people were singing she wouldn’t have known. Or did she not get proposed to then and there she must’ve just busted in just to ruin the singing and cake time.
'Blip'. I like that!
"You know how she is..." So just let her act like a massive SCUMBAG !?!
NO !!!
Story 3 : OP is NTA because he started that nickname himself from the nephews birth and the nephew obviously knows the cute story behind it which is why he only wants OP to use it. He clearly cherishes having that one special thing with uncle OP and he really just doesn't like the fact that others want to abruptly hone in on something that doesn't have the same meaning or connection with them. The nephew clearly wants OP to continue to use it so OP needs to tell the others that no he won't stop using his special nickname for his nephew. It's been used by him since the nephews birth and his nephew himself has never objected to HIM using it..only others have...just because THEY tried to hone in but got the boundaries of the nephews objection....which is NOT a good reason for him to stop. OP can continue as he and his nephew please and eventually the family will either have to deal with it or given the nephews already strong boundaries he will step up to put the argument to rest by telling everyone that's OP's nickname for him and they don't get to hone in on it ..period.. so deal with it.
St1: what a nice outcome st2: SIL deserves anything that happens. She is pathetic for being willing to do whatever in order to wear a wedding ring
If you have the same parents she's not your stepsister.
BIANCA’S. BETTER DO. !, BRIDE ! DEMAND LIST ! DAMN FOOL !! BETTER DO DAMN ! FOOL LIST !
Story #1: I can’t believe the audacity of people saying she should have ignored Bianca when she pulled her stunt at the party; but where was that tactic when they all surrounded her congratulating on her engagement during the signing of happy birthday? 🙄
NOT HIS UNCLE ! NOT DUDE NEPHEW ! NEPHEW AINT NO PUNK ! GOING 2 BE A STRONG 💪 MAN !
Story one: I’m glad OP realized at such a young age that she was never going to be important to her parents and that they would let her sister abuse her forever and just GOT OUT. The only thing for OP to do is just block them on everything and never talk to the POSs who should love her unconditionally but don’t EVER AGAIN.
My dad calls me moe and no one else does Bc they don’t know why he calls me that (moe Jo Jojo from power puff girls. I was a mean kid. He means it in a loving way lol) so I would be mad if someone else called me that
S3 NTA your brother doesn't want anyone but you calling him a nickname. Your stepsiblings have no say. He's your nephew.
How is she a stepsister and miracle baby if she's older?
people need to grow spines and cut shit out before it gets to that point. holding things in does nothing for you and only allows the entitled person to be emboldened by the very act of putting up with it.