NTA this is your sister responsibility to care for her own kids. She lied to you. I would never babysit for her again. She's a terrible mom. She tricked you. Go NC with anyone who blames you. This is all on your sister. You will make a great mom.
What was this 'ERRAND' that the sister had to do that ran over the time said? Op needs to ask that and if no answer forthcoming from sister ask the hubby if he 'knew' of the errand and tell him what sis said. Have seen other stories where similar events happened and it turned out to be a cheating event!
Story 1: My Sister & I were raised by our maternal grandmother. That woman was verbally, physically & emotionally abusive to me all the way up until I was 20, which is when I moved to another state. My grandmother showed extreme favoritism to my sister, who was 2 years younger than me. She never abused my sister but instead showered her with lots of gifts & special treatment. If anyone showed me an ounce of kindness or affection she would call it favoritism. If I received an award or gifts in school for good grades, she would call it favoritism. I was her personal punching bag & scapegoat. Everything bad that happened to her was somehow my fault. I haven't spoken or seen my grandmother & sister in 16 years by choice. Til this day, I still don't know why she hated me so much. I no longer care to know why. No excuse given can justify the abuse of an innocent child
@@johnpatricklim4509 I once speculated, never confirmed, that it might had to do with my mother. They never got along. Couldn't be in a room with each other for 5 minutes before an argument broke out smh.
Didn't talk to my father or any family for 15 years met up a few times told them i was past the past but still had no use for him. been about 6 years we don't talk and have no plans to.
S1: I'm so glad OP sent her wretched abusive bio-units that cease & desist letter. Neglect is absolutely abuse. Aww are they going to lose their home? They can suck it up and deal, just as OP had to. I hope she has a smooth delivery, and she gets help for her abandonment issues.
First story. She should send the parents what they spelled out plus interest. $5.00 should be more than generous to take care of that. Last story: OP should not have left child alone. But the sister should never have left her child with OP. She never had intention of being back in 30 minutes. She will be the one to put but if shrimp shells in food to prove someone who claims to be allergic really isn't.
@@xphiles2345 I posted above that my belief is that the parents felt so bad for failing to give the first child the good childhood she deserved and felt so bad for neglecting her that they went into some extreme form of denial and dealt with it by shutting her out of their lives emotionally and trying to "redeem" themselves by giving a better childhood to the NEW child. Thing is they did not love their "princess" either. I explained above that when you truly love someone you provide them with a loving, nurturing, and healthy and stable environment and teach that person proper morality and proper boundaries. NONE of that happens in cases of extreme favoritism and it often harms the "favored" child EVEN MORE than the "unfavored" one in the long run. They were too sick mentally to really love anyone.
I can - my inlaws are like that with my husband, but he still helps his now 99 year old narc mother with dementia, even though she screams at him that he's stealing stuff. My late maternal grandmother would regularly tell my late mum that she never loved her like she loved her younger sister. Then, on her DEATH BED, she asked my mum to come closer - my mum thought she would finally say "I love you"....NOPE, she actually said "I didn't love you less than your sister, I NEVER loved you at all. You just weren't lovable." My late mum had a shit life - my father was a serial cheater - so I always think of her in heaven and happy now. She was my best friend as well as my mum and NEVER deserved that. (I can't repeat what her father was like to her).
2nd story the sister basically called OP over to hang out and then pulled the okie doke and left them to babysit her kid while she went to hang out. If I were the OP I would've stayed and asked for payment for babysitting
NTA. Your sister knew about your panic attacks. They aren’t mild. You can’t control them. This is all on the sister for not coming back immediately. You should have called CPS and told them she left a four year old with someone emotionally incapable of caring for him.
For story 1, I hope that letter detailing child neglect made sure to point every little tidbit out. I'd make sure it'd be something that would ruin them if it were ever found. Such awful excuses of humans they are for even thinking about expecting money from the child they abandoned.
1: I’d like to know WHY they treated OP so horribly. What was their excuse? Of course, there is none! I was treated poorly, not as bad, but poorly nonetheless. I’m still paying for it at my age.
If I might guess I’d say that during their hardship they had no time or energy to be nice to OP and by the time they realized they had hurt her they instead of facing their fuck up decided to ignore her, an “out of sight out of mind,” mentality. When they had their second child they thought that the could still have a chance to be good parents and wash away all the guilt they had hidden deep down by telling themselves that they are good parents. This is not a guess and if I am right then it’s completely messed up in every way but I could still see how someone could have this mentality. Instead of taking the hard way to fix your mistakes you instead just start over and forget about the failures.
In the situation her mental health started to decline and maybe started to feel a panic attack coming, she might not have had the capacity to think that far as her main objective were to get out of there before shit hit the fan.
Send them a couple of loaves of bread and whatever was put between them, with a note saying the food has now been paid off, and if they really want to be paid back for the years in a cold, dark space, you are more than willing to give that to them as well.
Sad story. I am amazed OP is strong enough to go through this without having any burning animosity for these sad excuses of parents. That said, trying to have a relationship with them, either by inviting them to weddings they wouldn't attend or providing correspondences with them, seems like it left her open for continued hurt when cutting them off would have been better. It sure seemed like the bill broke the camels back, but I can't imagine all those other events didn't harm OP.
OP NEVER LEAVE CHILD ALONE!! IF YOU CAN^T FIND ANYONE ELSE TO TAKE YOUR PLACE, CALL POLICE AND REPORT YOUR SISTER & YOUR DISABILIY!! NIP THE DELIBERATE ABUSE TO YOU IMMEDIATELY!!
Just the start of this story show how UNQUALIFIED this woman is as a mother, the mental abuse they are sujecting this child to is unbelievable. Classic PTSD of a child, " How can people treat vtheir child like this.
Have to disagree with both those judgements in story 2. Op clearly could not handle it and sister would know that. What she did was 100% wrong and the parents are the ones who put the child in danger due to that.
I don’t think this is the completed story. It seems like I remember this one from a couple of weeks ago, with a different channel and reader, the sister turned out to be cheating on the husband and it only came out after the OP left the baby alone. He got the full story and was understandably upset with OP, but more so with the wife and wanted to divorce. The wife in turn was still blaming her, but their parents were on OP’s side. 🤔🤷🏻♀️
@@Sassy_Kat I knew that Sister's plan was to trick OP into babysitting. I guessed cheating because why would a simple errand need to be extended this much. I've had my SIL run an errand while I was visiting (and watched the baby). SIL told me exactly where she was going and she was back (with proof of where she had been...not that I needed it) in the time she said. OP's issues are not under control. The entire family is aware. It should not have taken BIL to discover cheating to be more upset with his wife than OP.
@@Sassy_Kat - Yeah, I remember this. If it's the story I'm thinking of, the sister had been leaving the kids anyway to meet her side piece, but wanted longer with him than whatever time she could steal whilst her husband was asleep, etc. Hence what she did to OP. She just didn't expect OP to put her mental health first and end up ratting her out. Husband wanted to know what 'errand' - at NIGHT - would take three HOURS......cue being outed as a cheater.
Baby sitting story. Why are people piling up on op? The sister knew of her probs and hubs should have too! What would have happened if op had had a panic attack and accidentaly harmed the baby? If i was that hubby i would be asking a BIG what was this errand? and start looking at stuff. If he is a night shift worker who knows what the wife could get up to. (Okay, call me a paranoid guy. Lol.)
Wow the comments are so hard on the 2nd story. Op warned them she is leaving in 15mins the mother of the child is 100% to blame here and I say that as a parent. If the original errand was for 30mins she should have been no more than 15mins away. Instead she was away for 3hours?!?! And i say this as a parent
This sister is horrible. Using her sibling like this. I would call child services . They knew you are not in the best mental health, they out their child in jeopardy. No this is all their fault
19:00 OP should learn to say NO! and avoid getting into situations like this. Is the sister done having kids or is her womb going to see action soon? And what chore was sister doing at night that required her to delay so much coming home? Was she with a lover?
For step 2, I’d like to point out that panic disorders an get extremely out of hand extremely fast and it’s very very hard to make logical decisions during those times. The mother knew that op has severe mental issues that op cannot control and yet still chose to leave a child with op. It’s the parents faults, no op. I have severe ptsd and just as an example of how out of hand panic attacks can get and how quick they come on I’ll give an example. I went to my doc a few months ago bc I’m immunocompromised and had a case of facial cellulitis that was resistant to 3 antibiotics. I was sat down with my doc and a resident and the moment she told me to go to the ER bc I needed iv antibiotics, it was like this shift came over me and within less than five minutes I went from anxiously sitting down to nearly passing out to loudly having a panic attack in their restroom all bc I have medical ptsd and physically cannot function in a hospital or ER setting. What does this mean? It means that, based on what my psychologist told me, my brain is screwed up to the point that i can no longer control myself when it’s triggered to a certain point. The body immediately just done that fight or flight response and it takes years and years of therapy and meds to treat it and even then something that may seem minor to you can set it off again. So take it from me, op did what they could and is actively in treatment and has made their family aware of this issue; it’s up to the parents to keep their child safe now
Story 2 NTA The OP's sister said she will be 30 minutes and knew full well about OP's health, then after 45 minutes she said she'll be another hour after OP said they'll leave after 15 minutes OP didn't endanger the 4 year old, the sister did
1. OP needed a wake-up call that these parents were nothing to get excited about after hearing from them the first time in years. 2. You should have called CPS or the cops.
Yep anything could have happened. Such as Op flipping out and causing more trauma to the kid. Or getting violent during a panic attack. Sister is AH, she was most probably out drinking or worse having an affair. Don't blame the crazy, she prevented a tragedy from taking place. Best thing anyone can do is walk away from a situation b4 the danger takes place.
This!' But let's just blame the one person who wasnt to blame (besides the child) And the husband being bmad at OP? Maybe he shoudl have been mad at his wife
Heaven forbid that dude in the second story get to after working all night to provide. The one at fault here is the mom. She and she alone bears ultimate responsibility for anything that happens here. The dysfunctional sister would be guilty for her part in anything but the mom is absolutely the one in the wrong
S2: NTA she rung everyone and contacted everyone, and she started panicking so she wasn't in the right mind. It's not like OP just left, she did what she could telling 3 different people. The sister tricked her into babysitting because she knew that OP would refuse. The sister is the one that put her child in danger. They have no right to be angry with her. The sister is disgusting. I would never go to her house again.
Second story: NTA. She told her sister that she couldn't and she tried to find solutuins before her mental health crashed completely, She did agree for just 30 minutes and not more. Those calling her an AH, might not really get that mental health is a pretty serious thing and of what i could get she started to get into full fight or flight mode when the sister broke the agreement. And as far her mental capabilties allowed her with the upcoming panic attack, she did try to get someone else there before she had to leave before exploding.
The narrator of that first story was WRONG about something. When she said that the parents only loved the younger sister. They did NOT love the baby. They TOOK CARE of her but I take very good care of my CAR because its USEFUL to me but I do not LOVE my car. Part of loving a child is providing the child with a safe, healthy, nurturing environment and creating that horribly toxic and sociologically unhealthy home environment by treating her sister so horribly and creating jealousies and trauma within the household in the long run ALSO fails the "favored" child. If they had TRULY LOVED THE YOUNGER CHILD they would have been nicer to the older one. I think they felt GUILTY for failing to give the older child a better childhood and dealt with that by SHUNNING HER instead of making amends in some way and saw the baby as their "second chance'' to be good parents and focused all of their energies on her.
story 2, HELLLLL NO, OP's not the idiot here!! dear sister was doing whatever she wanted to, knowing full well that OP couldn't cope. She was warned, but she didn't care. I bet she was cheating, otherwise, why can't you take your 4yo son with you??
story 2: nta, and all those who said she was ta, well you have a problem, having an anxiety attack while watching a child longer than agreed would have been no better than leaving the child alone.
Wonder if OP was adopted. The way she is tossed aside and treated made me think that once the parents had a beloved bio daughter, they didn't want someone they did not have a bio link to.
If i wasn't I'd get in 1 last dig. I'd buy the old house from the bank. Send them a letter telling them you bought it and invite them over. As they get there thinking omg she's going to give us the house. Demolish it in their faces. The laugh at them and drive away. Sell the lot take a slight loss but in the end the place you had your traumas in would be gone. Sorta cathartic if you ask me.
Story 1: OP really should have made her parents explain exactly why they hated her so much and not accept any gaslighting replies. Story 2: OP is in luck, the trash put itself out.
S1 NTA you should have went NC after you graduated and left the house. It always amazes me how parents that abandon their child and think they are owed something. She got her do over baby she needs to o leave you alone. You should have called CPS on them. Along with ike ago. Stop caring about what happens to those sperm and egg donors. The old lady aunty is your mother. Your parents haven't cared for you in over a decade. Good thing your husband read the he letter first. Send an empty letter back, with a piece of paper saying paid in full. Finally you got a spine.
S2 has me curious, can anyone come up with an errand that needs to be run Saturday night, I mean other then drinking, getting drugs or whoring? I mean possibly grocery shopping, but that’s going to take more than 30 minutes. But that being said, you don’t abandon a 4 year old that way. Sure her having a panic attack won’t help the kid sleep, but being alone in the house sure increases the chances something horrible might happen to the kid (and it’s not their fault that their mother is a scumbag!)
story 2 opionions are really calling the OP YTA? i think people can't read and understand. The sister knew her problem with anxiety and panic disorder, what she do? She leave her tricking for almost 3 hours..
and panic sis could have told sister in 15 minutes I'm calling the cops. I told you my limitations. then call dad and say the same thing then call the cops when the 15 was up. you never leave little kids alone
Story 1: NTA. Your parents are horrible and deserve everything they got. Story 2: NTA and possibly ESH. Your child is your responsibility. But I would have stayed until someone returns.
Story 1 Your parents failed and do not deserve the title your sister is the second coming so now they need assistance remind them you where not important to them go back to their daughter and you owe them absolutely nothing zilch , because they failed you totally
Last story. That was a lose lose situation. We have to accept that we are not the people in the situation and we can't judge what they do. They're very many famous people who would tell you that you would do the exact same thing if you were that person. People go around saying if I were you, but what they mean is that if the other person was them. It's hard to explain but if I were you, I would do the exact same thing that you did so let's not call people arseholes
I don't care about some of these comments half an hr is half an hr they also no my situation so how am I to b blame? Maybe she went on a date I don't even no so I don't think op is supposed to b blame at all
I think story 2 sounds bizarre with how the author never calls “the kids” nephews or nieces. It sounds like they have no live for these children at all and possibly have some truly deep mental disorders.
Last story- The comment that was made that they hoped OP never had any kids isn't wrong. You don't agree to being alone and in charge of caring for a child for 1/2 an hour, when you know that logically, crap happens and it's always longer. Sis took advantage of OP, but the kid was left alone. Not in a good mental state to be a parent and lacks common sense.
I'm surprised the egg and sperm donors even noticed OP had left. I feel no pity for them - especially when they gave OP what basically amounted to a Bill of Services for her first 18 years. What trashy people.
The very idea that a child must pay back the parents money for raising children must be a third world concept . Because I have never heard of parents in Industrialized countries making such demands .
Story 1: Damn, and I thought my parents and sister were shitty people ... Story two ... Hold up, skipping past the part that douche just decided to have a panic attack for no reason other than being someone who has panic attacks, and left a toddler alone in a house ... husband has night shifts and sleeps all day? Shifts are 8 hours, right? He sleeps for sixteen hours?? And not even at home? Where does he sleep??
Most shifts are 8 hours. Some are 10 or 12. If he's working 12 hour shifts, plus thirty minutes travel time each way, plus 8 hours sleep, that leaves 3 hours a day to shower, eat, pay bills, etc. Not a lot of time to be a dad.
--- The kid was asleep, why were you panicking? Girl if you get that anxious that 2 hours with a SLEEPING child makes you run off into the night you need inpatient treatment. How do you function with the normal stress and inconveniences of everyday life? Sister is wrong in a big way for tricking you into babysitting and needs a verbal a$$ kicking from husband and your parents. Usually I am very understanding of mental health issues, but you get so overwhelmed, it's not just an issue it's an illness. You need a tranquilizer along with anti anxiety medication because you are one hot mess and to see your hopefully is a psychiatrist more often and group therapy.
The baby mama is AAH she left her child with a narcissus. That's Being treated for depression and all the other myer of pharmaceuticals that can It'll do you buy People whose motivation it is To keep you dependent. Help me people don't Pay their bills. yeah that maui vacation from fizer didn't hurt either. And if that person has a streak a green through their hair run before you Find yourself being transition
Just because OP’s brother in law works night shift and sleeps during the day doesn’t make him an absent parent. He is doing his job and supports his family. You left a kid alone OP. You are a complete AH for more than one thing
You can be charged with abandonment not the mother you have the child. You should have called the police up and have them come out and take care of the child and going home. Then the wife in the fair partner could explain to husband where she was. But you left a child that you accepted responsibility for. No wonder you have anxiety It's obvious that you're narcissistic Interpret my opic behavior definitely should be not exposed to children
At the same time as she might started to feel how her mental health started slipping (she told her sister the maximum time she could do it), her logical brain was compromised and she was in full fight or flight mode and needed to get out of there before shit hit the fan.
You’re so wrong. Sister knew of op’s mental health problems, op told sister not to be long and then when she was starting to have a panic attack and began feeling overwhelmed she called sister and told her she would be leaving. Op’s mental health problems are being treated therefore are well documented. The onus was on the sister to make sure her child was with someone capable of looking after him but she obviously didn’t do this, op also called her to tell her she wasn’t coping but the sister didn’t care. Because of op’s mental state she was incapable of rational thinking right then. The sister was 100% to blame.
Last story. YTA. All you had to do was sit there and exist till someone came home. I know anxiety & panic attack’s don’t make any sense, but you worked yourself into that attack. You knew in advance you would be minding the sleeping kid for a little bit, if you didn’t want to, you should have grown a spine & said no straight away. God, fancy leaving a sleeping toddler in a house alone. Parents get reamed for that. The mother didn’t leave that kid alone. You did.
Have you ever had an anxiety/panic attack?,if not please consider the fact that all logic disappears and the instinct is to get to your safe zone to calm down .Anxiety/panicattacks affect people differently and the sister knew about the mental health problems .
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It's so weird to make the conscious decision to have kids and then be absolutely vile to them.
But some people just have so much hate to share. Why not have a captive audience that can't escape for years to come?
Story 1..Just another story about how the Golden Child turns out to be Iron Pyrite!...FOOLS GOLD!
NTA this is your sister responsibility to care for her own kids. She lied to you. I would never babysit for her again. She's a terrible mom. She tricked you. Go NC with anyone who blames you. This is all on your sister. You will make a great mom.
Exactly 💯
What was this 'ERRAND' that the sister had to do that ran over the time said?
Op needs to ask that and if no answer forthcoming from sister ask the hubby if he 'knew' of the errand and tell him what sis said.
Have seen other stories where similar events happened and it turned out to be a cheating event!
@@neil999ishI agree. Her sister was out on a date, not an errand.
Story 1: My Sister & I were raised by our maternal grandmother. That woman was verbally, physically & emotionally abusive to me all the way up until I was 20, which is when I moved to another state. My grandmother showed extreme favoritism to my sister, who was 2 years younger than me. She never abused my sister but instead showered her with lots of gifts & special treatment. If anyone showed me an ounce of kindness or affection she would call it favoritism. If I received an award or gifts in school for good grades, she would call it favoritism. I was her personal punching bag & scapegoat. Everything bad that happened to her was somehow my fault. I haven't spoken or seen my grandmother & sister in 16 years by choice. Til this day, I still don't know why she hated me so much. I no longer care to know why. No excuse given can justify the abuse of an innocent child
Probably has to do with gender....probably has to do with being reminded of your grandfather or something....
@@johnpatricklim4509 I once speculated, never confirmed, that it might had to do with my mother. They never got along. Couldn't be in a room with each other for 5 minutes before an argument broke out smh.
@@JMac7395 well at least you got away from her...not gonna ask what happened since it's private just saying hope you find some peace....
Was this a maternal or paternal grandmother?
Didn't talk to my father or any family for 15 years met up a few times told them i was past the past but still had no use for him. been about 6 years we don't talk and have no plans to.
S1: I'm so glad OP sent her wretched abusive bio-units that cease & desist letter. Neglect is absolutely abuse. Aww are they going to lose their home? They can suck it up and deal, just as OP had to. I hope she has a smooth delivery, and she gets help for her abandonment issues.
First story. She should send the parents what they spelled out plus interest. $5.00 should be more than generous to take care of that.
Last story: OP should not have left child alone. But the sister should never have left her child with OP. She never had intention of being back in 30 minutes. She will be the one to put but if shrimp shells in food to prove someone who claims to be allergic really isn't.
Story 1 those parents stink.
Dang it infuriates me
Story 1: I can’t understand how someone can just stop loving their child like that.
she may have been an out of wedlock or affair baby, neither of which is her fault, but thats what happens sometimes
@@xphiles2345 I posted above that my belief is that the parents felt so bad for failing to give the first child the good childhood she deserved and felt so bad for neglecting her that they went into some extreme form of denial and dealt with it by shutting her out of their lives emotionally and trying to "redeem" themselves by giving a better childhood to the NEW child. Thing is they did not love their "princess" either. I explained above that when you truly love someone you provide them with a loving, nurturing, and healthy and stable environment and teach that person proper morality and proper boundaries. NONE of that happens in cases of extreme favoritism and it often harms the "favored" child EVEN MORE than the "unfavored" one in the long run. They were too sick mentally to really love anyone.
@@xphiles2345 Then they should give the baby up for adoption, don't keep the child and treat it like crap for your mistakes and irresponsibility.
By not loving her in the first place.
I can - my inlaws are like that with my husband, but he still helps his now 99 year old narc mother with dementia, even though she screams at him that he's stealing stuff. My late maternal grandmother would regularly tell my late mum that she never loved her like she loved her younger sister. Then, on her DEATH BED, she asked my mum to come closer - my mum thought she would finally say "I love you"....NOPE, she actually said "I didn't love you less than your sister, I NEVER loved you at all. You just weren't lovable." My late mum had a shit life - my father was a serial cheater - so I always think of her in heaven and happy now. She was my best friend as well as my mum and NEVER deserved that. (I can't repeat what her father was like to her).
make sure your kids know you love them or they will fall for the first person that pretends to.
2nd story the sister basically called OP over to hang out and then pulled the okie doke and left them to babysit her kid while she went to hang out. If I were the OP I would've stayed and asked for payment for babysitting
Given OP's panic problem, I would have called CPS.
@@stephaniewilson3955 ditto
As soon as op got out of her parents house 🏡 she should had went no contact with her parents and just move on with her life story 1
Then she would have been seen as the one who disowned the family. Justifiable, but it looks terrible in the courts
NTA. Your sister knew about your panic attacks. They aren’t mild. You can’t control them. This is all on the sister for not coming back immediately. You should have called CPS and told them she left a four year old with someone emotionally incapable of caring for him.
For story 1, I hope that letter detailing child neglect made sure to point every little tidbit out. I'd make sure it'd be something that would ruin them if it were ever found. Such awful excuses of humans they are for even thinking about expecting money from the child they abandoned.
Favoritism is 100% never a good thing. Op family can kick dirt for that.
Story 1 Never try to keep a family that hates you in your life.
Find friends and have family you choose, DNA doesn't mean jack.
1: I’d like to know WHY they treated OP so horribly. What was their excuse? Of course, there is none! I was treated poorly, not as bad, but poorly nonetheless. I’m still paying for it at my age.
Wonder if op was an affair child?
@@neil999ish More like the sister is an affair child with someone mom really loved...
If I might guess I’d say that during their hardship they had no time or energy to be nice to OP and by the time they realized they had hurt her they instead of facing their fuck up decided to ignore her, an “out of sight out of mind,” mentality.
When they had their second child they thought that the could still have a chance to be good parents and wash away all the guilt they had hidden deep down by telling themselves that they are good parents.
This is not a guess and if I am right then it’s completely messed up in every way but I could still see how someone could have this mentality. Instead of taking the hard way to fix your mistakes you instead just start over and forget about the failures.
Last stor y: OP should have told sister she was calling CPS if sister did not get back fast. And then done it after 10 minutes.
In the situation her mental health started to decline and maybe started to feel a panic attack coming, she might not have had the capacity to think that far as her main objective were to get out of there before shit hit the fan.
Im putting the onus on the parents in the last story. I repeat do not leave your kids with someone unstable/ or incapable of caring for them.
You are not the Asshole, you are a very responsible young lady who is living her best life.
Damn OP is story #1 sure was a sad soul :(. To want approval that bad :(
Story 1: simple....cut them off...go nc....focus on your real family....your husband and your future children....
Send them a couple of loaves of bread and whatever was put between them, with a note saying the food has now been paid off, and if they really want to be paid back for the years in a cold, dark space, you are more than willing to give that to them as well.
Welp now I'm angry at the first story parents
Sad story. I am amazed OP is strong enough to go through this without having any burning animosity for these sad excuses of parents. That said, trying to have a relationship with them, either by inviting them to weddings they wouldn't attend or providing correspondences with them, seems like it left her open for continued hurt when cutting them off would have been better. It sure seemed like the bill broke the camels back, but I can't imagine all those other events didn't harm OP.
OP NEVER LEAVE CHILD ALONE!! IF YOU CAN^T FIND ANYONE ELSE TO TAKE YOUR PLACE, CALL POLICE AND REPORT YOUR SISTER
& YOUR DISABILIY!! NIP THE DELIBERATE ABUSE TO YOU IMMEDIATELY!!
Just the start of this story show how UNQUALIFIED this woman is as a mother, the mental abuse they are sujecting this child to is unbelievable. Classic PTSD of a child, " How can people treat vtheir child like this.
So howndo they plan to enforce their demands? They have no money for legal recourse. And what the hell are they doing with the youngest kid?
Have to disagree with both those judgements in story 2. Op clearly could not handle it and sister would know that. What she did was 100% wrong and the parents are the ones who put the child in danger due to that.
I don’t think this is the completed story. It seems like I remember this one from a couple of weeks ago, with a different channel and reader, the sister turned out to be cheating on the husband and it only came out after the OP left the baby alone. He got the full story and was understandably upset with OP, but more so with the wife and wanted to divorce. The wife in turn was still blaming her, but their parents were on OP’s side. 🤔🤷🏻♀️
@@Sassy_Kat I knew that Sister's plan was to trick OP into babysitting. I guessed cheating because why would a simple errand need to be extended this much. I've had my SIL run an errand while I was visiting (and watched the baby). SIL told me exactly where she was going and she was back (with proof of where she had been...not that I needed it) in the time she said. OP's issues are not under control. The entire family is aware. It should not have taken BIL to discover cheating to be more upset with his wife than OP.
@@Sassy_Kat - Yeah, I remember this. If it's the story I'm thinking of, the sister had been leaving the kids anyway to meet her side piece, but wanted longer with him than whatever time she could steal whilst her husband was asleep, etc. Hence what she did to OP. She just didn't expect OP to put her mental health first and end up ratting her out. Husband wanted to know what 'errand' - at NIGHT - would take three HOURS......cue being outed as a cheater.
Baby sitting story. Why are people piling up on op? The sister knew of her probs and hubs should have too! What would have happened if op had had a panic attack and accidentaly harmed the baby?
If i was that hubby i would be asking a BIG what was this errand? and start looking at stuff. If he is a night shift worker who knows what the wife could get up to. (Okay, call me a paranoid guy. Lol.)
Yes. I would tell the husband that you were astonished that the 'errand' took so long.
Wow 1story
Wow the comments are so hard on the 2nd story. Op warned them she is leaving in 15mins the mother of the child is 100% to blame here and I say that as a parent. If the original errand was for 30mins she should have been no more than 15mins away. Instead she was away for 3hours?!?! And i say this as a parent
This sister is horrible. Using her sibling like this. I would call child services . They knew you are not in the best mental health, they out their child in jeopardy. No this is all their fault
19:00 OP should learn to say NO! and avoid getting into situations like this.
Is the sister done having kids or is her womb going to see action soon? And what chore was sister doing at night that required her to delay so much coming home? Was she with a lover?
For step 2, I’d like to point out that panic disorders an get extremely out of hand extremely fast and it’s very very hard to make logical decisions during those times. The mother knew that op has severe mental issues that op cannot control and yet still chose to leave a child with op. It’s the parents faults, no op. I have severe ptsd and just as an example of how out of hand panic attacks can get and how quick they come on I’ll give an example. I went to my doc a few months ago bc I’m immunocompromised and had a case of facial cellulitis that was resistant to 3 antibiotics. I was sat down with my doc and a resident and the moment she told me to go to the ER bc I needed iv antibiotics, it was like this shift came over me and within less than five minutes I went from anxiously sitting down to nearly passing out to loudly having a panic attack in their restroom all bc I have medical ptsd and physically cannot function in a hospital or ER setting. What does this mean? It means that, based on what my psychologist told me, my brain is screwed up to the point that i can no longer control myself when it’s triggered to a certain point. The body immediately just done that fight or flight response and it takes years and years of therapy and meds to treat it and even then something that may seem minor to you can set it off again. So take it from me, op did what they could and is actively in treatment and has made their family aware of this issue; it’s up to the parents to keep their child safe now
Story 2 NTA
The OP's sister said she will be 30 minutes and knew full well about OP's health, then after 45 minutes she said she'll be another hour after OP said they'll leave after 15 minutes
OP didn't endanger the 4 year old, the sister did
Is anyone surprised to hear how the golden child turned out?!
1. OP needed a wake-up call that these parents were nothing to get excited about after hearing from them the first time in years. 2. You should have called CPS or the cops.
Yep anything could have happened. Such as Op flipping out and causing more trauma to the kid. Or getting violent during a panic attack. Sister is AH, she was most probably out drinking or worse having an affair. Don't blame the crazy, she prevented a tragedy from taking place. Best thing anyone can do is walk away from a situation b4 the danger takes place.
This!'
But let's just blame the one person who wasnt to blame (besides the child)
And the husband being bmad at OP? Maybe he shoudl have been mad at his wife
Heaven forbid that dude in the second story get to after working all night to provide. The one at fault here is the mom. She and she alone bears ultimate responsibility for anything that happens here. The dysfunctional sister would be guilty for her part in anything but the mom is absolutely the one in the wrong
there 24 hours in a day, all night is not 12 hours, so he has free time to care for his child(ren) and help in the house.
On that last one, no NTA, because you clearly stated you are not capable of being responsible for the safety or well being of the child.
Thanks for the outro❤
:)
S2: NTA she rung everyone and contacted everyone, and she started panicking so she wasn't in the right mind. It's not like OP just left, she did what she could telling 3 different people. The sister tricked her into babysitting because she knew that OP would refuse. The sister is the one that put her child in danger. They have no right to be angry with her. The sister is disgusting. I would never go to her house again.
Last story. Just wow. Why sistwr would leave kid with OP is just beyond me. What a mess. ATAs.
Your soothing litheful narration makes your channel a go to. Thanks
Second story: NTA. She told her sister that she couldn't and she tried to find solutuins before her mental health crashed completely, She did agree for just 30 minutes and not more.
Those calling her an AH, might not really get that mental health is a pretty serious thing and of what i could get she started to get into full fight or flight mode when the sister broke the agreement. And as far her mental capabilties allowed her with the upcoming panic attack, she did try to get someone else there before she had to leave before exploding.
it's reddit and their mantra is blaming the victims as much as possible.
St 1 bet she isnt the mothers real child.
I think she was an affair baby from the dad.
The narrator of that first story was WRONG about something. When she said that the parents only loved the younger sister. They did NOT love the baby. They TOOK CARE of her but I take very good care of my CAR because its USEFUL to me but I do not LOVE my car. Part of loving a child is providing the child with a safe, healthy, nurturing environment and creating that horribly toxic and sociologically unhealthy home environment by treating her sister so horribly and creating jealousies and trauma within the household in the long run ALSO fails the "favored" child. If they had TRULY LOVED THE YOUNGER CHILD they would have been nicer to the older one.
I think they felt GUILTY for failing to give the older child a better childhood and dealt with that by SHUNNING HER instead of making amends in some way and saw the baby as their "second chance'' to be good parents and focused all of their energies on her.
You mean that their negligence were because she remeinded them of their failings as parents to her?
story 2, HELLLLL NO, OP's not the idiot here!! dear sister was doing whatever she wanted to, knowing full well that OP couldn't cope. She was warned, but she didn't care. I bet she was cheating, otherwise, why can't you take your 4yo son with you??
Last story, nta
story 2: nta, and all those who said she was ta, well you have a problem, having an anxiety attack while watching a child longer than agreed would have been no better than leaving the child alone.
My bio mom abused me but doted on my brother. I look like my dad (who she hates) whereas my brother favored my maternal grandpa. It was all genetics
Wonder if OP was adopted. The way she is tossed aside and treated made me think that once the parents had a beloved bio daughter, they didn't want someone they did not have a bio link to.
Didnt the second story have an update where it turns out the sister was seeing her afdaor partner
If i wasn't I'd get in 1 last dig. I'd buy the old house from the bank. Send them a letter telling them you bought it and invite them over. As they get there thinking omg she's going to give us the house. Demolish it in their faces. The laugh at them and drive away. Sell the lot take a slight loss but in the end the place you had your traumas in would be gone. Sorta cathartic if you ask me.
Too much hassle. That Cease and Desist outlining the abuse would be the perfect retort.
Well, I didn't have quite this, but I WAS told that I owed my mom because she gave birth to me, so.....
That is a common trope from bad parents.
Story 1: OP really should have made her parents explain exactly why they hated her so much and not accept any gaslighting replies.
Story 2: OP is in luck, the trash put itself out.
S1 NTA you should have went NC after you graduated and left the house. It always amazes me how parents that abandon their child and think they are owed something. She got her do over baby she needs to o leave you alone. You should have called CPS on them. Along with ike ago. Stop caring about what happens to those sperm and egg donors. The old lady aunty is your mother. Your parents haven't cared for you in over a decade. Good thing your husband read the he letter first. Send an empty letter back, with a piece of paper saying paid in full.
Finally you got a spine.
S2 has me curious, can anyone come up with an errand that needs to be run Saturday night, I mean other then drinking, getting drugs or whoring?
I mean possibly grocery shopping, but that’s going to take more than 30 minutes.
But that being said, you don’t abandon a 4 year old that way. Sure her having a panic attack won’t help the kid sleep, but being alone in the house sure increases the chances something horrible might happen to the kid (and it’s not their fault that their mother is a scumbag!)
story 2 opionions are really calling the OP YTA? i think people can't read and understand. The sister knew her problem with anxiety and panic disorder, what she do? She leave her tricking for almost 3 hours..
and panic sis could have told sister in 15 minutes I'm calling the cops. I told you my limitations. then call dad and say the same thing then call the cops when the 15 was up. you never leave little kids alone
@@adrianparsons6683 You doi not you kid not your problem.
Why you people putting this on op when clearly the mother lied about her intentions all along quit making the guilty the victim
Story 2: sis sucks! The husband too! They both need to wake up to reality.
Story 1: NTA. Your parents are horrible and deserve everything they got. Story 2: NTA and possibly ESH. Your child is your responsibility. But I would have stayed until someone returns.
Y do I feel like she is not the mothers child but some outside child the father brought into the house
Story 1
Your parents failed and do not deserve the title your sister is the second coming so now they need assistance remind them you where not important to them go back to their daughter and you owe them absolutely nothing zilch , because they failed you totally
Last story. That was a lose lose situation. We have to accept that we are not the people in the situation and we can't judge what they do. They're very many famous people who would tell you that you would do the exact same thing if you were that person. People go around saying if I were you, but what they mean is that if the other person was them. It's hard to explain but if I were you, I would do the exact same thing that you did so let's not call people arseholes
I don't care about some of these comments half an hr is half an hr they also no my situation so how am I to b blame? Maybe she went on a date I don't even no so I don't think op is supposed to b blame at all
I think story 2 sounds bizarre with how the author never calls “the kids” nephews or nieces. It sounds like they have no live for these children at all and possibly have some truly deep mental disorders.
Last story- The comment that was made that they hoped OP never had any kids isn't wrong. You don't agree to being alone and in charge of caring for a child for 1/2 an hour, when you know that logically, crap happens and it's always longer. Sis took advantage of OP, but the kid was left alone. Not in a good mental state to be a parent and lacks common sense.
Sit down, sister was cheating
I'm surprised the egg and sperm donors even noticed OP had left. I feel no pity for them - especially when they gave OP what basically amounted to a Bill of Services for her first 18 years. What trashy people.
The very idea that a child must pay back the parents money for raising children must be a third world concept . Because I have never heard of parents in Industrialized countries making such demands .
Ok I like a good ol' fashioned fairy tale as much as the next guy. But this piece of fiction is so blatant it's ruining the illusion!
1st story: OP was stupid up until almost the end.. It is very sad that a person could be so dumb.
Stockholm Syndrome. Look it up.
Panic Attack!!! What a defect
Story 1: Damn, and I thought my parents and sister were shitty people ... Story two ... Hold up, skipping past the part that douche just decided to have a panic attack for no reason other than being someone who has panic attacks, and left a toddler alone in a house ... husband has night shifts and sleeps all day? Shifts are 8 hours, right? He sleeps for sixteen hours?? And not even at home? Where does he sleep??
Most shifts are 8 hours. Some are 10 or 12.
If he's working 12 hour shifts, plus thirty minutes travel time each way, plus 8 hours sleep, that leaves 3 hours a day to shower, eat, pay bills, etc.
Not a lot of time to be a dad.
--- The kid was asleep, why were you panicking? Girl if you get that anxious that 2 hours with a SLEEPING child makes you run off into the night you need inpatient treatment. How do you function with the normal stress and inconveniences of everyday life? Sister is wrong in a big way for tricking you into babysitting and needs a verbal a$$ kicking from husband and your parents. Usually I am very understanding of mental health issues, but you get so overwhelmed, it's not just an issue it's an illness. You need a tranquilizer along with anti anxiety medication because you are one hot mess and to see your hopefully is a psychiatrist more often and group therapy.
The baby mama is AAH she left her child with a narcissus. That's Being treated for depression and all the other myer of pharmaceuticals that can It'll do you buy People whose motivation it is To keep you dependent. Help me people don't Pay their bills. yeah that maui vacation from fizer didn't hurt either. And if that person has a streak a green through their hair run before you Find yourself being transition
Just because OP’s brother in law works night shift and sleeps during the day doesn’t make him an absent parent. He is doing his job and supports his family. You left a kid alone OP. You are a complete AH for more than one thing
Some of these stories sound pretty far fetched ….unless from a 3rd world country.
You can be charged with abandonment not the mother you have the child. You should have called the police up and have them come out and take care of the child and going home. Then the wife in the fair partner could explain to husband where she was. But you left a child that you accepted responsibility for. No wonder you have anxiety It's obvious that you're narcissistic Interpret my opic behavior definitely should be not exposed to children
At the same time as she might started to feel how her mental health started slipping (she told her sister the maximum time she could do it), her logical brain was compromised and she was in full fight or flight mode and needed to get out of there before shit hit the fan.
You’re so wrong. Sister knew of op’s mental health problems, op told sister not to be long and then when she was starting to have a panic attack and began feeling overwhelmed she called sister and told her she would be leaving. Op’s mental health problems are being treated therefore are well documented. The onus was on the sister to make sure her child was with someone capable of looking after him but she obviously didn’t do this, op also called her to tell her she wasn’t coping but the sister didn’t care. Because of op’s mental state she was incapable of rational thinking right then. The sister was 100% to blame.
Last story. YTA. All you had to do was sit there and exist till someone came home. I know anxiety & panic attack’s don’t make any sense, but you worked yourself into that attack. You knew in advance you would be minding the sleeping kid for a little bit, if you didn’t want to, you should have grown a spine & said no straight away. God, fancy leaving a sleeping toddler in a house alone. Parents get reamed for that. The mother didn’t leave that kid alone. You did.
Have you ever had an anxiety/panic attack?,if not please consider the fact that all logic disappears and the instinct is to get to your safe zone to calm down .Anxiety/panicattacks affect people differently and the sister knew about the mental health problems .
These stories are all the same...rich ppl, bad parents money. Ffs