Do you know that there are more than 40,000 different denominational churches within Christendom that are all teaching many different doctrines and teachings from one another? That means that there are thousands of different forms of Christianity that exist in the world today! Paul wrote in Galatians 1: "If anyone brings unto you any other form of doctrine than what we have already brought unto you, he shall be cursed." He also said in Acts 20:29-30 "For I know this; That after my death, grievous wolves will enter in among you that will not care for the people of God. Even from among yourselves men shall arise and speak corrupt things to draw away disciples after themselves." Jude wrote: "Because some men have crept into the churches without being noticed, those that in the past have been written about and they will receive damnation. (Jeremiah 23) They are ungodly men that are corrupting the grace of God, perverting it to allow for their own lusts; They contradict and deny (by teachings and deeds) our only God and the Lord Jesus Christ. (Titus 1:16; 2 Peter 2:1; Acts 20:29-30; Galatians 2:4-5; Jeremiah 23; 2 Thessalonians 2:10-12; Matthew 24:4-5, 11, 24; Isaiah 30:10; Isaiah 9:16; Zephaniah 3:4)" Jesus many times warned about false doctrines as he did in Matthew 24: "Beware, do not let anyone mislead any of you; (2 Thessalonians 2:11) Many will come and claim to be of me, they will even say that I am the Christ, yet they will deceive many and lead them into great error." I ask you, if these warnings are serious about deviating from what was taught in the early church of the first century, why is it that so very few care to examine themselves and the churches that they attend? Do people not care if they are in the true doctrine, or are they just prideful, presuming that they hold the truth? I ask, what does it truly mean to be a Christian and how can we identify false doctrines and teachings and also prove what the true doctrines are? It is simple. It is by looking at the writings of the men that were taught by the apostles and interpreting the scriptures through their understanding and the doctrines that they brought forth. WHy? Because they did not read the bible to interpret it as they chose, but they lived, worked and ate with the apostles and they learned directly from them, having certainly received a much more thorough understanding from them and would have had their questions and the deeper meanings of the scriptures taught to them directly from the apostles of Jesus Christ. Read the writings of Barnabas, Clement of Rome, Hermas, Ignatius and others and interpret the scriptures through their words, and you will be much more likely to come to the original intent of the scriptures and true doctrine. I challenge you to test yourself to see whether ye be in the faith (doctrine of Christ). For God's Truth, get your copy of THE ETERNAL BOOK OF TRUTH, THE NEW TESTAMENT SCRIPTURES. Available on Amazon and other online bookstores.
thriftylady1170 This works - that karolynrice6267 bans everything to you (only she will inflate her ego on costs of others) (s)words - wrong, work, worries, writing, wrath, war(drobe - hypocrisy - words, for example) ChristopherGaslighter It's super difficult with extreme A.D.H.D. and P.T.S.D. - sounds like N. S. D. A. P. - its difficult with your extreme ego, no matter if you call it reckless "normality" or other excuse$$ ... super = unnece$$ary, otherwise you would let it for yourself, not push it to others
My biggest issue in life was the mistake of thinking everyone thinks like me, there are very bad people out there that will hurt you and that will bring them joy
Finally i learned, just don't respond. Say nothing. Just stare at them with a somber expression, and walk away. They will understand you saw through them and chose to stay classy. Do not...argue with them. Don't defend your viewpoint. Stay quiet, look them in them eye, turn and walk away.
Gas lighters use personal information you shared with them against you. I experienced this today from someone. I asked him, "Am I on trial here". He had no answer...
@@ottoadsit1241 my Asperger narc did this: slutshamed me and used my dead mother too. He told me he had "motherlove," for me. Now I know why he lives permanently in a mental health institution: he IS INSANE
I learnt to keep my mouth shut to people incl my manipulative, toxic narcissistic mother about what’s going on in my life. Because of this issue. The less they know the better off you are.
Avoid them as much as possible. Resist the urge to talk/argue with them. They're crazy. If they try to talk to you, don't respond! YOU DON'T HAVE TO INTERACT WITH THEM. THEY ARE NOT GOD! P.s. Ask God to help you as this is not easy! I know. I've had alot of experience unfortunately! The Lord will fight for you. You only need to be still. ❤️
@@Jessica-is-WisePsalm1 hi. Theres a great sermon that might encourage and help you. Look up Pastor Howard John Wesley, 'stand still '. Its helped me alot. Xo
Embracing biblical principles has empowered me to break free from the clutches of gaslighting, revealing the strength and resilience within me that no narcissist can extinguish. 🙏
you just invited devils with your inflated ego? but you arent a superman for real, i guess ... so it looks kinda risky ... but saying anything was never responsible i guess ... atleast as just 1 quotation alone ...
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together, it was a really bad phase but we got through it.
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things..
@@wonhur885 its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
Once I identity a narcissist, I keep little to ZERO contact with them. My life gets better when I do this. If I keep them in my life, I punish myself the Bible says and that’s very TRUE!
I am a christian woman who has a narcissistic husband and he gaslights me along with stonewalling me. I have learned how to handle it this way. I say to him when he starts with one of these behaviors "I have to take a time out and I am leaving". "We can revisit this when you have thought through it more and have abetter understanding of what God has for us."
Narcissistic Abuse is Abuse. You don’t deserve to be treated bad… I pray and hope Jesus sends you the Support you Need! …the Support from those that have been through it and understand it.
Its so good to be in a peaceful state of mind, till a person "push your buttons" to take it all away, what's worse is when you respond and end up giving them just what they wanted....😮😮😮😮😢
I've seen people who have no credentials yet insist on being the boss, this is very evil, people who won't let you talk or listen to ways to make things better is very evil. One way to get your joy back is to cling to God and declare that you will rejoice in Hope that God will straighten the mess out and Thank God ahead of time for it.
try a "mental health advocacy group".... they will back family members who play the perfect little innocent victim... oh poor me, the loving caring one who comes here so I can learn how best to respond to that mentally ill family member i love and care about so much and I want to the bigger person and help the situation in my classically calm and patient "can-do overcomer" fashion, aka NAMI , The National Alliance on Mental Illness".... and also nuts to their Untrained , Peer Support "Counselors" and "Faciltators" who love to "lead" and be an example to their "peers," many of whom are way more capable but unfortunately they have their loyal adoring "peers" who have the wool pulled over their eyes that these charlatans are their best buds and heroes. BLECK. Enough to be burned by one of these people who meant well but blew it when handling my introduction into this "peer connection" group and now my messages are not answered and I, who suffered humiliation and zero chance to finish my "check-in," leaving me abruptly cut off because the session time ending is strictly enforced, and I got barely any time, tried to explain the very serious situation I am in right now living, at 60 yrs old, betrayed and isolated daily in a dark and ill-equipped small basement room with a bathroom and a microwave but no kitchenette nor permission from the covert narcissist mother who has abused/been emotuonally unavailable to me in every way since early childhood and because I was an inconvenient accident, i got stress hormones in the womb and a mother who directed all her rage at my dad, and now, all the rage fron her own trauma and trauma bonds from her own childhood... but to pick up, this "peer connection group facilitator" interrupts me when I am making a fine and valiant effort to encapsulate a complex and completely, miserably enmeshed relationship wherein now, because right now I have no other place to go, she holds all the power, leverage and wants nothing more than to live in denial and justify herself as all of just our last two hellish years of this as being 100% MY fault and she has recruited all 3 siblings with her half-truths, exaggerations, distortions and backhanded means of deceit, plus mutual friends from church who have been friends for decades, and mainly MY friends... so yes, I DID forgive her for everything from childhood and she rejected it many years ago when I offered it, saying, verbatim, completely deadpan and without the slightest modicum of humility or gratitude... but anyway, here I am with this adored but out-of-her-league "peer group facilitator" who , well-meaning or not, begins to ply me with questions about whether I have ever been in therapy (? yeah, like since 1987, when she was 7 yrs old, and I was just out of college contending with a very complicated technical job, plus dealing with management that was the top-down style whose best tool was ruling by terror and threats, plus played favorites... and I am called on in this peer group with only a matter of minutes before the group, which was meeting by Zoom, was abruptly shut down... when i COULD have gotten some support or at least a reasonable closure... but for this barely over 40 year old incompetent "leader's" very misguided attempts to rescue me and "fix" me at the very end of an hour-and-half meeting where half of the participants, who already knew each other, were more about chewing the fat than they were about fulfilling the mission of the group, i. e., to avail themselves of the opportunity to learn from and support each other, toward the larger goal of everyone gaining insight and encouragement so as to be better able to manage symptoms and situations and thereby come closer to leading better, more fulfilling, and more productive lives. I was left humiliated and now this "leader," who happens to be a Facebook friend, no longer answering me on Messenger.
I get that from my oldest brother alot. He has been having a serious anger issues and narcissism problems that's been plaquing my family for years and I desperately want to leave that source of toxicity behind from him.
My sister and her husband are Terrible humans. Lie, deceive, manipulate and then attack ppl to get a response then play the victim. It's so difficult dealing with family like that. Sorry for what you're going through.
@missysmessage722 No worries, I'm just hoping for a faithful day that I can definitely cut ties from my oldest brother and leave him forever. I know this might not be the best option that God would want me to go into, but at least that will finally give me peace for my own life.
@careyhuff357 we should have the courage to confront those family members who have wronged us and have them face the justice they deserve. Even if they don't or will never learn their lessons, they need to either get locked away from us or be disowned by their own family if they keep screwing us over.
One of my shining moments... My sister was angry she wasn't in control of our mother's will. I certainly didn't want the responsibility, but I had been entrusted with it. At one point my sister sobbed deeply and cried overwhelmingly. Standing nose to nose I simply and calmly stated, "I don't know why your crying?" Seeing I wasn't manipulated, immediately her continents became wolverine like. Without taking a step back, still standing nose to nose I calmly repeated, "I don't know why your so upset." With that she stormed out defeated. I could write a book on the trials of a narcissistic mother and sister. Here's the point, healing is possible and life can be joyful. However, I don't understand how healing can be obtained apart from God. Secondly healing takes time and in my case separating from the narcissist. Funny I didn't even know what narcissism was until after my mom's death. I had lived under her lies...toxic behavior for 60 years. We were "Created with Purpose" and Kris is here to help along the way! Thank you Kris!
Walk Away Safely. They long and love to fight. Keep you and yours safe and secretly get out. You can't change or adjust to their horrors. RUN if you have to.
Kriss Reese God's chosen Apostle for this deviated world . May the Holy spirit continue to empower you and our believers .May the glittering light of Heaven surround you well forever Apostle .
This is an example of Gaslighting: i went to pay my Cox Communications bil for WiFi. I called and spoke w a Customer Service Rep. I read the Account number and PIN, address too directly from the paper bill they mailed me..They couldn't find my account. This isn't the first time they have done this to me. It took me 1 hour just to pay a bill that wad being paid on time. THIS is Gaslighting and wasting my valuable time, not their right.
I can’t live like this anymore. My mother is the worst covert narcissist you have ever seen. You can’t do any of these techniques she talks so fast and always has my dad in the background while she’s yelling. I could just have a difference of opinion and she goes off. I am 55 and have just blocked her on every phone I have. I am a good Christian daughter and she has ruined my relationship with my dad she is awful. She won’t let me talk, she talks so fast and everything that comes out of her mouth is a slam against me. Then the next day she leaves a voicemail and says “ are you still mad? “ we love you” after she ripped me to shreds the day before. I have everything recorded on my camera and I was being calm and cool and didn’t do anything. Oh I left out the horrible phone call that evening and the text messages that I do elderly abuse and how her and my dad can’t take it anymore. I had just got done the week before calling my dad and making him an appointment because his heart went into a fib. I am good to them, but it’s like walking on land mines ever time she pickes up the phone. I don’t think god would want me to be abused like this after trying over and over for many years. I am not going to take this anymore, I can’t it’s affecting my life, my marriage, my adult son. It has to be a demonic spirit because who does this to their children. I have listened to every grey rock technique, using certain words, saying I have to go, nothing works with her. It’s mental abuse, there is nothing else that sums it up.
She sounds mentally ill quite frankly. You need strong boundaries. Sit down with your hubby and son and talk about what those might be. It might be you have limited contact and on your terms. I wouldn’t be engaging with her when she is in that state. The moment she yells, say you are not tolerating that, you’re happy to chat when she’s calm and leave. I would also reply to to the elder abuse accusation and tell her that that behaviour is not acceptable and you won’t be engaging with her without an apology.
@@Bella77260 It doesn't work. It just doesn't. It will last until the next time she decides she needs a "fix" at the daughter's expense, and then it's ''here we go again." Been there, lived it, tried it. You can't fix this disorder unless they decide they want change. But they don't think change in themselves is needed. The only change they think is necessary is that you agree to be their verbal punching bag.
@@4gma59 yes thank you I totally agree. Even if you say you have to go they somehow call you on a surprise attack and get you another way. They are evil
@@Bella77260 thank you, I have tried that tactic but she won’t apologize because if you have another opinion with a covert narcissist you become an enemy. The only thing I can compare it to as an example is like having a popular girl in high school that bully’s a girl that she competes with from jealousy and will be revengeful. She uses my dad as a weapon against me, “ always stating your dad is real mad at you. She puts the phone on speakerphone and when I have a difference of opinion she talks real fast so I can’t speak and makes it sound like she’s in an argument with me. He then starts yelling in the background “ hang the phone up on her”. I just cry because of the mental torture. Then I forgive and the cycle happens again. I started recording calls back in 2016 occasionally and even then she would always state how mad my dad is at me. He used to be close, I even saved his life from dying of low platelets in 2011 because I found the remedy that worked. She sends me text telling me how they can’t take it from me anymore and last month she said elder abuse. I am a devout Christian, I use to take care of the elderly through a home care agency in the 90’s, all my patients loved me. I never argue with anyone, but she has figured out that I know her tactics so she has found new ways to hurt me. She treats my dad bad also but he just takes it and she has instructed him over the last 10 yrs that he needs to discipline his children. He yells at my brother also when she disagrees with him. There has to be a demon in her or her brain has been damaged at some point. It’s really sad because she could have had a wonderful relationship with a daughter that would have loved her, but unfortunately I can’t because accusations like elder abuse will be taken seriously by the right people. 20 yrs ago she had her family doctor document in her chart that she thinks her husband is poisoning her. She’s crazy! And dangerous
@@jenm981 l get she will probably never apologise the reason l put that there isn’t so much for a result although it gives her an opportunity but rather for you, that you are setting boundaries that are strong. Walking away does work. I’ve done it and saying no more is the only answer. Basically in walking away when she yells, or terminating contact at that point or even limiting contact sends a strong message that you won’t tolerate it but more importantly protects your emotional well-being. It’s not easy and l feel for you but setting firm boundaries and limiting contact as sad as that is really is the only answer.
Thank you Kris, you're so right about everything. It's so very true. Thank you for the Godly wisdom. I go through this with both of my parents, and my grandmother since they are Narcissists. I got support from friends from church since I am a Christian myself. I know my worth and values. My peace comes from God. God is great all the time. God bless
I have been praying to God to help me handle my sister, who is very toxic. She’s caused havoc and pain for my mother and her children. Thank you as I believe God led me to your channel.!!!
The keyword at the start of the video for me was the term witchcraft that's all I needed to hear to pause the video and proceed to insert my comment. Thank you!
The gas lighter is my husband it's not that easy to get away from someone you live with he screams and swears loudly at me and when I asked him to lower his voice and be kind he tells me he's not screaming or he will start screaming louder he does not own any of his bad behavior and I'm so fed up I got married for love and kindness and fun but since he got the ring on my finger he's been abusive and verbally mean. He withhold affection and withhold sex.
I loved the dialog back and forth between the inner you and the outward, because I also was like, "When can I tell them off (in a Christian way lol)?" and step 2 was a game changer for me!
When it comes to A.I..Gaslighting and Rich Elite Government Gaslighting, a person under such duress and trauma, cannot be bound to any E.U.L.A. Agreement. I am sharing this legal wisdom for others to know and use.
So good to see someone fully recovered and awake to all the narcissistic nonsense. To deliver your message with humour and authenticity makes it all the more powerful
I lived with people like this for years, then the church people was the same way. Praise be to God who heals and set free His people. They individuals will always exist, it is best to remain calm and true to God’s word. Do nothing in your own strength and seek God for guidance with each individual, what worked with one, may not work with another. Great advice Kris again, awesome teacher.
Peace and harmony in family relationships is what drives me to put up with thoughtless and unkind behavior. THANK YOU for your wisdom in teaching me that I am not being sinful in avoiding their toxic and manipulative behavior. I realize that I needed this person in my life to teach me that I can only count on our Lord and that all man/women will let us down at one point or another. It has made me lean on the Lord Jesus Christ during these encounters.
Totally. Some need to feel better by putting others down.this Lack and feardominion is wreaking havoc on hopes and joy in general.pulling dark energy as some say makes sense.
All I can say is this video is by far the best out there on the topic. EVERY example provided is how my sister operates. You nailed it on every level and it lays the foundation of what I had come to expect. I would consider this video a primmer. Prior to seeing this video, I put my sister down as a raging narcissist. In my mind, she is the worst form of it. I have seen her derive joy in causing pain. From young on she had tendencies. Like, yelling at us for leaving a jacket on a chair, then she does the same and it’s ok for her to do. Rules do not apply to her. In her teenage years she became involved with the occult, then, ultimately, in so-called good “white” witchcraft. Later, she claimed she left it, but I do not believe it for a second. I have seen enough evidence that she has not. Years later I tried to make the case for Christ. Though, she acknowledges Jesus is great, she denies his deity. She classifies Jesus as just a prophet in a long list of prophets. Those are her words, not mine. We exchanged points and it soon became apparent it was a lost cause. She lies, deflects, gaslights, attacks, belittles, minimizes, accuses, and sabotages. I had things in writing from her where she would deny she said it, and when confronted with that glaring error, she’d gaslight, deflect, attack, and belittle. And btw, she does not believe in hell either. Fast forward to the last five years. My elderly parents needed care and both my sister and I became executors for them. I was thrust into working with her. To say that it was a nightmare, it is a massive understatement. She had POA over their health and her screwball ideas for treatment caused so much angst amongst the family that it was toxic. It was so bad that two aids reached out to me that they can’t take working with her anymore. She at one point had a psychic advising what supplements to administer. The arguments were endless. My only option would have been to have authorities remove her as POA. But, that is a slippery slope because you can imagine the hellfire she would let loose. And that would put my parents health and two disabled siblings health in danger. I had to walk on eggshells and pray. At one point, authorities stepped in on their own and pushed to have her removed. This happened twice. In both cases, she manipulated out of the problem and remained POA. She is a fantastic liar and manipulator. And mind you… she was not concerned about the parents or anyone else, just that she can’t be perceived as wrong. Becuase if she was wrong, it proved to everyone just how wrong she has been. Along with that, she did not want to lose her death grip on the family. I suspect the estate is what she was most concerned about. Eventually, my parents passed. We then had to work together on the estate and guess what, she tried cheating my brother out of his share. Fortunately, the laws of this state are wise to it. It was a glorious moment when the lawyer after listening to her spiel tells her, sorry, by law he gets 1/3. I could see her persona deflate like a popped balloon. It was a glorious moment because just three days earlier we had a bitter argument about what she was trying to do. That brings us to three days ago. She emailed me a raging message over something so stupid that it should never have been an issue. Basically, she threatened to disown my brother and I if we didn’t stop treating her badly. She even pulled out the, you are so ungodly ploy. All the accusations, lies, and manipulations flew at me. Mind you, the whole issue she was raging about was her own fault. I could prove that too, easily, but what’s the use. She’d deny, deflect, accuse, attack, and gaslight. I thought, ok, that is perfect. I was now at a point that family interests are met and I can do what I have wanted to do for some time and that is, disconnect from her. That is what I did. I did not get into her game of back and forth, which I am sure is what she wanted. I instead told her, I am done. That she is the most toxic person I have ever met, and that I am cutting all communication with her. Further more, to stay the hell away from me. Dealing with her these last several years damaged me. Just thought of her puts me into anxiety. Having placed her into a box outside of my immediate world is proving to be healing, liberating, and joyous. And btw. I consider her the most dangerous form of narcissist. She is controlled by demons. I have no doubt about that. With her witchcraft she sold her soul to the devil. I often felt like I was fighting not against my sister, but against demons. My question in all this is, what causes this. As I stated, she had these tendencies from a very young age. There is a history of mental illness in my family. Is it genetic? Is it demonic? The house we lived in seemed haunted..
I love these videos. I listen to them over and over here and there. It’s like retraining my brain! Thanks for these videos. I wish I could like them every time I listen.
I’ve driven over 1000 miles to assist family and I’m now in a finically compromised position. I’ll leave out the details. Will say I started reading a book that basically says even the worst criminals justify themselves and many think they are basically good people in the right, no matter what they’ve done. It’s a challenge to attempt to reason with that thinking. God please help us all
We don't need to get with a christian counsellor grounded in scripture when we've got You ~ you're the best, 🌷 in 35yrs my Narc has never ever validated me quite the opposite he takes the side of the one who's offended me ~ who's upset me, the odd thing is my Mom did the same she was a raving Narc,
My 2nd marriage to a contentious, narcissist has to end . I'm totally burned out from daily attacks. Counseling won't work with her. After 22 years or enabling her, I have to leave. It's something how I wound up on your site while asking for prayer on another devotional site! Thanks for what I learned! At 86, I can go live at the very nice VA home in Napa valley. Now I have to figure out how to make the transition without going to war with her. . .
There was no truth when my family was gaslighting me for years. I would just let them say things to me because I had no idea what this even was. When I found out one was specifically making up lies about me and spreading it, even to my kids... not okay. It’s just weird to me. They can think what they want, but what ended up happening needed to be confronted.
Hi Kris, thanks for your videos, these are really great tips, and these types of incisive direct statements are my natural instinctive responses. The elephant in the room, however, is that while these responses will give pause for thought for self-regulating people, these responses do not always de-escalate comunication interactions with people who habitually engage in gaslighting. Even when delivered calmly and non provocatively, escallation, obfuscation, and outrage often ensue. With difficult relationships that still matter to me, digging deeper into my Christian faith I attempt to limit opportunies for conflict by completely honouring my 'knowing' of when communication is dishonest and unfair (as you have also suggested) - and by restricting my responses, avoiding handing out home truths about their manipulation, but refusing to get hijacked and still clearly stating my case from my side of the fence. I also choose very carefully where and when to initiate any important, potentially difficult, conversation with controlling people.
My hubby's mother held the leading role of poor poor, put upon, self sacrificing, martyr victim. Evidently, she owned the only hotline to God. She received revelation and blessings directly from Him. Through which, she could decide who were deemed worthy or not. By the time she passed, the whole family was worn out with her constant crocodile tears and crying wolf. She would feign illness so often, we never knew if it was real or not. She had everyone running in circles trying to comfort and soothe her. All the while, she triangulated and dropped hints that so and so wasn't doing enough. It became a pissing contest to see who could out do who. What a wild ride that was. I decided to always treat her the way I wanted to be treated (God's golden rule). With respect and kindness (despite receiving neither from her). I decided to leave my emotions at the door and not react. Since she did not hand pick me as a worthy specimen for her son to marry, she loved to try to diminish and hurt me. I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction. I sidestepped the traps/snares that she set. I let her jealous/passive/agressive/veiled insults roll off me like water off a ducks back. She once arrived at my home for a Sunday dinner I hosted and prepared for her, FIL, my husband, our grown children, and their spouses. I started to make small talk (How are you? Glad you came. Etc.) She immediately asked me to do her a favor and to not talk to her. I casually said, "I can do that." Then proceeded to smile and have pleasant conversations with everyone else that evening, except her. (One of the best dinners, with her, that I ever had). It became a comical show. I showed up and acted as an observer. I was genuinely kind to her and thanked her for raising her son, my husband, to be a wonderful, Godly man. (It burned her up to hear that one). When she died, bless her heart, I can truly say that I had learned to love and accept who she was. I held my head high, knowing that I did not jump into the sty and roll in her mud. I can honor her And I am free of her. She is buried in the same cemetery as my beloved grammy. It brings my heart so much peace to know that, I don't have to visit my Mother in law or lay flowers at her grave. I reserve that for those who cherish me and treat me right.
I took a vacation day from work. While I was gone, my boss went into my project tracking software program to enter a new project, and he completely messed everything up. When I came back to work, I had an email in my inbox from the project tracking software company telling me my boss entered a new project. I printed off the email and I asked my boss what he did because things were messed up and I needed to fix it. He looked me right in the eyes and said he didn’t do anything at all. I then showed him the email from the company, that had his name on it, saying he entered a new project. Again, he looked me right in the eyes and said he didn’t do anything. Gaslighting me. I just walked away from him and fixed the problem on my own.
When I had a gaslighting female minister boss at a Baptist church in my twenties, she would say that someone was upset with me about some failing or mishap that was not really my fault or beyond my control. Then I would apologize to the so called upset person, and they would say oh it's nothing. I could've said to my boss, I found out she wasn't mad like you told me. From now on, when you tell me what anyone said concerning me, I will double check with them, to ensure their message to me or about me does not get lost in translation. That's what I will do from now on to facilitate clear communication because we all just want resolve, rigghhhht????? 😃 LOL! Wish I knew ! But I do now....
Had this happen to me. No one was upset but her and she wanted to validate her anger with me. She didnt like sharing the load because she needed to be wanted and do all the work for validation herself. When I stepped in to help or was asked to- she hated it and projected her attitude onto me and mentioned “complaints” no one ever made.
My mother is a gaslighter. She comes out with all these phrases. She ALWAYS puts the onus on me & cannot accept anything negative about herself. She frequently denies she’s ever said or done something & will go so far as say I’m making it up (especially if I challenge her). As you were giving your answers, I thought “yes, they’re good” but then thought of how she’d come back at me. 🙄😖😞
They are hollow shells and their story is all they have so if you are in a different script they have to shut you down because they have nowhere else to go.
My family is full of them because generations of abuse and alcoholism. I got help for this many years ago. I grey rock a few I'm around. If they start with their abusive behavior I dont talk to them for weeks and they can't stand that. I have to pick my battles and its not easy. After one narcissist in my family dies I'm done with all them.
It can be harder for us who are question or ADHD … I get ricked into a conversation and I think it’s a TEAL conversation when it’s only a TRAP… So I’ve been practicing not responding. To see what the reaction is. If it’s engaging and positive I’ll keep going if not I’ll stop. … being in a house together and stuck together … for 2 weeks … I can do this: Almost everyone you said seems like a toddler. I’ve been working on how I speak to them through dialectical behavioral therapy…it’s all about me and how I react to emotion not them… Wow!!!
After being gaslight recently, I called them out right then in public. Npt sure whoheard thenconversation. They did the same behavior again to irritate and dominate me, which was crossing the same boundary and they did it in a smartelicy way, like you are being too sensitive. No, I clearly was in the right. It has been a few weeks and this person no longer comes around. In fact, they stay in their own boundaries. Communal narc that doesn't want to lookmbad. A lot of people think meekness is weakness. The other person who was also putting them up to it, no longer crosses a boundary they have tried pushing for years.They think because I am a Christian doesn't mean I am weak. They got chewed out royal and they deserved it. I felt God was saying I did the right thing. These people are in every walk of life.
Grab your FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide
Do you know that there are more than 40,000 different denominational churches within Christendom that are all teaching many different doctrines and teachings from one another?
That means that there are thousands of different forms of Christianity that exist in the world today!
Paul wrote in Galatians 1:
"If anyone brings unto you any other form of doctrine than what we have already brought unto you, he shall be cursed."
He also said in Acts 20:29-30
"For I know this; That after my death, grievous wolves will enter in among you that will not care for the people of God. Even from among yourselves men shall arise and speak corrupt things to draw away disciples after themselves."
Jude wrote:
"Because some men have crept into the churches without being noticed, those that in the past have been written about and they will receive damnation. (Jeremiah 23) They are ungodly men that are corrupting the grace of God, perverting it to allow for their own lusts; They contradict and deny (by teachings and deeds) our only God and the Lord Jesus Christ. (Titus 1:16; 2 Peter 2:1; Acts 20:29-30; Galatians 2:4-5; Jeremiah 23; 2 Thessalonians 2:10-12; Matthew 24:4-5, 11, 24; Isaiah 30:10; Isaiah 9:16; Zephaniah 3:4)"
Jesus many times warned about false doctrines as he did in Matthew 24:
"Beware, do not let anyone mislead any of you; (2 Thessalonians 2:11) Many will come and claim to be of me, they will even say that I am the Christ, yet they will deceive
many and lead them into great error."
I ask you, if these warnings are serious about deviating from what was taught in the early church of the first century, why is it that so very few care to examine themselves and the churches that they attend? Do people not care if they are in the true doctrine, or are they just prideful, presuming that they hold the truth?
I ask, what does it truly mean to be a Christian and how can we identify false doctrines and teachings and also prove what the true doctrines are?
It is simple.
It is by looking at the writings of the men that were taught by the apostles and interpreting the scriptures through their understanding and the doctrines that they brought forth.
WHy?
Because they did not read the bible to interpret it as they chose, but they lived, worked and ate with the apostles and they learned directly from them, having certainly received a much more thorough understanding from them and would have had their questions and the deeper meanings of the scriptures taught to them directly from the apostles of Jesus Christ.
Read the writings of Barnabas, Clement of Rome, Hermas, Ignatius and others and interpret the scriptures through their words, and you will be much more likely to come to the original intent of the scriptures and true doctrine.
I challenge you to test yourself to see whether ye be in the faith (doctrine of Christ).
For God's Truth, get your copy of THE ETERNAL BOOK OF TRUTH, THE NEW TESTAMENT SCRIPTURES. Available on Amazon and other online bookstores.
Once you stop expecting anything from them it gets easier.
Amen
The solution at it simplest!!! 👏
So true... especially doctors
I concur. 😏
Omg prove he was is a liar calm tried that lol
don't defend, don't engage, don't explain, and don't personalize. (deep)
refusing makes it bigger?
This works ❤️
It's super difficult with extreme A.D.H.D. and P.T.S.D.
thriftylady1170
This works
- that karolynrice6267 bans everything to you (only she will inflate her ego on costs of others) (s)words - wrong, work, worries, writing, wrath, war(drobe - hypocrisy - words, for example)
ChristopherGaslighter
It's super difficult with extreme A.D.H.D. and P.T.S.D.
- sounds like N. S. D. A. P.
- its difficult with your extreme ego, no matter if you call it reckless "normality" or other excuse$$ ... super = unnece$$ary, otherwise you would let it for yourself, not push it to others
@@karolynrice6267 AMEN!
My biggest issue in life was the mistake of thinking everyone thinks like me, there are very bad people out there that will hurt you and that will bring them joy
Finally i learned, just don't respond. Say nothing. Just stare at them with a somber expression, and walk away. They will understand you saw through them and chose to stay classy.
Do not...argue with them. Don't defend your viewpoint. Stay quiet, look them in them eye, turn and walk away.
I do that! 😬
It definitely works because they are looking for reaction...it's their drug...
I'm just going to say, "I smell gas!", and walk away.
"I've passed gas"
🤣
That's a good one! Thank you for sharing this.
Lol
@@katiejo1095 I like that!👏
Gas lighters use personal information you shared with them against you. I experienced this today from someone. I asked him, "Am I on trial here". He had no answer...
🤔 nice one.
@@ottoadsit1241 my Asperger narc did this: slutshamed me and used my dead mother too. He told me he had "motherlove," for me. Now I know why he lives permanently in a mental health institution: he IS INSANE
I learnt to keep my mouth shut to people incl my manipulative, toxic narcissistic mother about what’s going on in my life. Because of this issue. The less they know the better off you are.
Avoid them as much as possible. Resist the urge to talk/argue with them. They're crazy. If they try to talk to you, don't respond! YOU DON'T HAVE TO INTERACT WITH THEM. THEY ARE NOT GOD!
P.s. Ask God to help you as this is not easy! I know. I've had alot of experience unfortunately!
The Lord will fight for you. You only need to be still. ❤️
Surely not
Also no one needs a word spoken to them. I'm sorry but a word? I mean tell me the language! But otherwise please I'm not talking!
Please pray for me I’m going to file for divorce soon it’s so hard not to call him out on his bs…
@@Jessica-is-WisePsalm1 hi. Yes i will! So sorry for what you're facing. Xo
@@Jessica-is-WisePsalm1 hi. Theres a great sermon that might encourage and help you. Look up Pastor Howard John Wesley, 'stand still '. Its helped me alot. Xo
Please pray for my safety and provision. Many thanks ! Also , doing an endless standing ovation 💜 to your comment
Embracing biblical principles has empowered me to break free from the clutches of gaslighting, revealing the strength and resilience within me that no narcissist can extinguish. 🙏
In Jesus name amen
you just invited devils with your inflated ego? but you arent a superman for real, i guess ... so it looks kinda risky ... but saying anything was never responsible i guess ... atleast as just 1 quotation alone ...
Oh my, pray for me please. I love your reply.
Thank you. Thank God, amen.
Grey rock them until you leave. You are allowed to shake the dust off & move on. 🕊️✨💐✝️💗✝️💐✨🕊️
Amen! Amen!
Done!
Yessir!! Thank you!
I agree. I'm in that process.Go grey rock and make your plans to escape and do not share those plans with anyone.
@@stevenr6874 exactly ❗️🎯✔️
My spirit knows what it saw so it rests in the truth
When people start playing stupid games, call em out and leave. They start begging you not to leave, too. What crazy people 😩
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together, it was a really bad phase but we got through it.
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things..
@@wonhur885 its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
@@Eltonscruggs this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.
@@wonhur885 kindly look her up online and you won't regret it.
This is not the place for posting your scam referrals to a sketchy voodoo priestess. If anyone else reads this nonsense, please disregard.
Once I identity a narcissist, I keep little to ZERO contact with them. My life gets better when I do this. If I keep them in my life, I punish myself the Bible says and that’s very TRUE!
You can't get rid of your parent
@@Oilofmercy
Sure can. Walk away. It's their choice. Choose you
How do you identify them?
I am a christian woman who has a narcissistic husband and he gaslights me along with stonewalling me. I have learned how to handle it this way. I say to him when he starts with one of these behaviors "I have to take a time out and I am leaving". "We can revisit this when you have thought through it more and have abetter understanding of what God has for us."
Narcissistic Abuse is Abuse. You don’t deserve to be treated bad…
I pray and hope Jesus sends you the Support you Need! …the Support from those that have been through it and understand it.
Its so good to be in a peaceful state of mind, till a person "push your buttons" to take it all away, what's worse is when you respond and end up giving them just what they wanted....😮😮😮😮😢
How true...
I've seen people who have no credentials yet insist on being the boss, this is very evil, people who won't let you talk or listen to ways to make things better is very evil. One way to get your joy back is to cling to God and declare that you will rejoice in Hope that God will straighten the mess out and Thank God ahead of time for it.
I know exactly what you’re talking about!!!
❤
try a "mental health advocacy group".... they will back family members who play the perfect little innocent victim... oh poor me, the loving caring one who comes here so I can learn how best to respond to that mentally ill family member i love and care about so much and I want to the bigger person and help the situation in my classically calm and patient "can-do overcomer" fashion, aka NAMI , The National Alliance on Mental Illness".... and also nuts to their Untrained , Peer Support "Counselors" and "Faciltators" who love to "lead" and be an example to their "peers," many of whom are way more capable but unfortunately they have their loyal adoring "peers" who have the wool pulled over their eyes that these charlatans are their best buds and heroes. BLECK. Enough to be burned by one of these people who meant well but blew it when handling my introduction into this "peer connection" group and now my messages are not answered and I, who suffered humiliation and zero chance to finish my "check-in," leaving me abruptly cut off because the session time ending is strictly enforced, and I got barely any time, tried to explain the very serious situation I am in right now living, at 60 yrs old, betrayed and isolated daily in a dark and ill-equipped small basement room with a bathroom and a microwave but no kitchenette nor permission from the covert narcissist mother who has abused/been emotuonally unavailable to me in every way since early childhood and because I was an inconvenient accident, i got stress hormones in the womb and a mother who directed all her rage at my dad, and now, all the rage fron her own trauma and trauma bonds from her own childhood... but to pick up, this "peer connection group facilitator" interrupts me when I am making a fine and valiant effort to encapsulate a complex and completely, miserably enmeshed relationship wherein now, because right now I have no other place to go, she holds all the power, leverage and wants nothing more than to live in denial and justify herself as all of just our last two hellish years of this as being 100% MY fault and she has recruited all 3 siblings with her half-truths, exaggerations, distortions and backhanded means of deceit, plus mutual friends from church who have been friends for decades, and mainly MY friends... so yes, I DID forgive her for everything from childhood and she rejected it many years ago when I offered it, saying, verbatim, completely deadpan and without the slightest modicum of humility or gratitude... but anyway, here I am with this adored but out-of-her-league "peer group facilitator" who , well-meaning or not, begins to ply me with questions about whether I have ever been in therapy (? yeah, like since 1987, when she was 7 yrs old, and I was just out of college contending with a very complicated technical job, plus dealing with management that was the top-down style whose best tool was ruling by terror and threats, plus played favorites... and I am called on in this peer group with only a matter of minutes before the group, which was meeting by Zoom, was abruptly shut down... when i COULD have gotten some support or at least a reasonable closure... but for this barely over 40 year old incompetent "leader's" very misguided attempts to rescue me and "fix" me at the very end of an hour-and-half meeting where half of the participants, who already knew each other, were more about chewing the fat than they were about fulfilling the mission of the group, i. e., to avail themselves of the opportunity to learn from and support each other, toward the larger goal of everyone gaining insight and encouragement so as to be better able to manage symptoms and situations and thereby come closer to leading better, more fulfilling, and more productive lives. I was left humiliated and now this "leader," who happens to be a Facebook friend, no longer answering me on Messenger.
I get that from my oldest brother alot. He has been having a serious anger issues and narcissism problems that's been plaquing my family for years and I desperately want to leave that source of toxicity behind from him.
My sister and her husband are Terrible humans. Lie, deceive, manipulate and then attack ppl to get a response then play the victim. It's so difficult dealing with family like that. Sorry for what you're going through.
@missysmessage722 No worries, I'm just hoping for a faithful day that I can definitely cut ties from my oldest brother and leave him forever. I know this might not be the best option that God would want me to go into, but at least that will finally give me peace for my own life.
Same, and my sis has complete control. My family won't stand up against hwr. So I'm the problem
@careyhuff357 we should have the courage to confront those family members who have wronged us and have them face the justice they deserve. Even if they don't or will never learn their lessons, they need to either get locked away from us or be disowned by their own family if they keep screwing us over.
@@geviesanta3631 I agree ☝️ and I’m glad to see your comment and this channel I’m not alone! God bless you Geviesanta3631
I just refrain from discussing the issues …..knowing that I know the truth!!
One of my shining moments... My sister was angry she wasn't in control of our mother's will. I certainly didn't want the responsibility, but I had been entrusted with it. At one point my sister sobbed deeply and cried overwhelmingly. Standing nose to nose I simply and calmly stated, "I don't know why your crying?" Seeing I wasn't manipulated, immediately her continents became wolverine like. Without taking a step back, still standing nose to nose I calmly repeated, "I don't know why your so upset." With that she stormed out defeated.
I could write a book on the trials of a narcissistic mother and sister. Here's the point, healing is possible and life can be joyful. However, I don't understand how healing can be obtained apart from God. Secondly healing takes time and in my case separating from the narcissist.
Funny I didn't even know what narcissism was until after my mom's death. I had lived under her lies...toxic behavior for 60 years.
We were "Created with Purpose" and Kris is here to help along the way! Thank you Kris!
*countenance
@@4gma59 Thank you, your input will make my post more understandable.
@@sherry7911 I'm in the legal field and a spelling nazi. I meant no offense. Thank you for being gracious.
@@4gma59 It's a good friend who tells you there's salad in your teeth. LOL! I have the impression you are a good friend.
@@4gma59
A discipline in which textual sleuths are essential -- a single word, or syllable, changes an entire case.
A narcissist will start building a dependency real or imagined. You may find that there is no need to deal with them at all.
Walk Away Safely. They long and love to fight. Keep you and yours safe and secretly get out. You can't change or adjust to their horrors. RUN if you have to.
Kriss Reese God's chosen Apostle for this deviated world . May the Holy spirit continue to empower you and our believers .May the glittering light of Heaven surround you well forever Apostle .
This is an example of Gaslighting: i went to pay my Cox Communications bil for WiFi. I called and spoke w a Customer Service Rep. I read the Account number and PIN, address too directly from the paper bill they mailed me..They couldn't find my account. This isn't the first time they have done this to me. It took me 1 hour just to pay a bill that wad being paid on time. THIS is Gaslighting and wasting my valuable time, not their right.
Not even close to the definition of gaslighting.
What is really terrible is how easy it is for seemingly everyone to do this, except those who are the gaslighting targets...
I can’t live like this anymore. My mother is the worst covert narcissist you have ever seen. You can’t do any of these techniques she talks so fast and always has my dad in the background while she’s yelling. I could just have a difference of opinion and she goes off. I am 55 and have just blocked her on every phone I have. I am a good Christian daughter and she has ruined my relationship with my dad she is awful. She won’t let me talk, she talks so fast and everything that comes out of her mouth is a slam against me. Then the next day she leaves a voicemail and says “ are you still mad? “ we love you” after she ripped me to shreds the day before. I have everything recorded on my camera and I was being calm and cool and didn’t do anything. Oh I left out the horrible phone call that evening and the text messages that I do elderly abuse and how her and my dad can’t take it anymore. I had just got done the week before calling my dad and making him an appointment because his heart went into a fib. I am good to them, but it’s like walking on land mines ever time she pickes up the phone. I don’t think god would want me to be abused like this after trying over and over for many years. I am not going to take this anymore, I can’t it’s affecting my life, my marriage, my adult son. It has to be a demonic spirit because who does this to their children. I have listened to every grey rock technique, using certain words, saying I have to go, nothing works with her. It’s mental abuse, there is nothing else that sums it up.
She sounds mentally ill quite frankly. You need strong boundaries. Sit down with your hubby and son and talk about what those might be. It might be you have limited contact and on your terms. I wouldn’t be engaging with her when she is in that state. The moment she yells, say you are not tolerating that, you’re happy to chat when she’s calm and leave. I would also reply to to the elder abuse accusation and tell her that that behaviour is not acceptable and you won’t be engaging with her without an apology.
@@Bella77260 It doesn't work. It just doesn't. It will last until the next time she decides she needs a "fix" at the daughter's expense, and then it's ''here we go again." Been there, lived it, tried it. You can't fix this disorder unless they decide they want change. But they don't think change in themselves is needed. The only change they think is necessary is that you agree to be their verbal punching bag.
@@4gma59 yes thank you I totally agree. Even if you say you have to go they somehow call you on a surprise attack and get you another way. They are evil
@@Bella77260 thank you, I have tried that tactic but she won’t apologize because if you have another opinion with a covert narcissist you become an enemy. The only thing I can compare it to as an example is like having a popular girl in high school that bully’s a girl that she competes with from jealousy and will be revengeful. She uses my dad as a weapon against me, “ always stating your dad is real mad at you. She puts the phone on speakerphone and when I have a difference of opinion she talks real fast so I can’t speak and makes it sound like she’s in an argument with me. He then starts yelling in the background “ hang the phone up on her”. I just cry because of the mental torture. Then I forgive and the cycle happens again. I started recording calls back in 2016 occasionally and even then she would always state how mad my dad is at me. He used to be close, I even saved his life from dying of low platelets in 2011 because I found the remedy that worked. She sends me text telling me how they can’t take it from me anymore and last month she said elder abuse. I am a devout Christian, I use to take care of the elderly through a home care agency in the 90’s, all my patients loved me. I never argue with anyone, but she has figured out that I know her tactics so she has found new ways to hurt me. She treats my dad bad also but he just takes it and she has instructed him over the last 10 yrs that he needs to discipline his children. He yells at my brother also when she disagrees with him. There has to be a demon in her or her brain has been damaged at some point. It’s really sad because she could have had a wonderful relationship with a daughter that would have loved her, but unfortunately I can’t because accusations like elder abuse will be taken seriously by the right people. 20 yrs ago she had her family doctor document in her chart that she thinks her husband is poisoning her. She’s crazy! And dangerous
@@jenm981 l get she will probably never apologise the reason l put that there isn’t so much for a result although it gives her an opportunity but rather for you, that you are setting boundaries that are strong. Walking away does work. I’ve done it and saying no more is the only answer. Basically in walking away when she yells, or terminating contact at that point or even limiting contact sends a strong message that you won’t tolerate it but more importantly protects your emotional well-being. It’s not easy and l feel for you but setting firm boundaries and limiting contact as sad as that is really is the only answer.
I’m SO disabled, for SO long by these assaults on me, that I would rather just avoid them, block them completely.
Thank you Kris, you're so right about everything. It's so very true. Thank you for the Godly wisdom. I go through this with both of my parents, and my grandmother since they are Narcissists. I got support from friends from church since I am a Christian myself. I know my worth and values. My peace comes from God. God is great all the time. God bless
Amen. God is great. Thanks for watching.
Its condemnable offense ro play games wth another human mind. NO way around that truth.
Thank you. I don't want to be a victim anymore.
I have been praying to God to help me handle my sister, who is very toxic. She’s caused havoc and pain for my mother and her children. Thank you as I believe God led me to your channel.!!!
“The haft of the arrow had been feathered with one of the eagles own plumes. We often give our enemies the means of our own destruction.”
― Aesop
" We often give our enemies the means of our own destruction "...
Sadly realized ...✌️
@@susanazinger2525 Once realized never repeated!
@johnmckenna1776
I repeated so many times that I keep any contact with others in the shallow water
@@christinemccoy4471 Yes I did the same, lesson learned!
Learning to leave well enough alone. Work on me to see clearly how to love, forgive, and move on.
The keyword at the start of the video for me was the term witchcraft that's all I needed to hear to pause the video and proceed to insert my comment. Thank you!
The gas lighter is my husband it's not that easy to get away from someone you live with he screams and swears loudly at me and when I asked him to lower his voice and be kind he tells me he's not screaming or he will start screaming louder he does not own any of his bad behavior and I'm so fed up I got married for love and kindness and fun but since he got the ring on my finger he's been abusive and verbally mean. He withhold affection and withhold sex.
Typical textbook Narc behavior
June 20th 2024 he moved out into his own apartment closer to his work . He did this after I threatened to call the police.
@@susannablessings5773 wow awesome girl!
I loved the dialog back and forth between the inner you and the outward, because I also was like, "When can I tell them off (in a Christian way lol)?" and step 2 was a game changer for me!
🙋🏽♀️😂
When it comes to A.I..Gaslighting and Rich Elite Government Gaslighting, a person under such duress and trauma, cannot be bound to any E.U.L.A. Agreement. I am sharing this legal wisdom for others to know and use.
God is my all in all.
So good to see someone fully recovered and awake to all the narcissistic nonsense. To deliver your message with humour and authenticity makes it all the more powerful
I lived with people like this for years, then the church people was the same way. Praise be to God who heals and set free His people. They individuals will always exist, it is best to remain calm and true to God’s word. Do nothing in your own strength and seek God for guidance with each individual, what worked with one, may not work with another. Great advice Kris again, awesome teacher.
Amen!
I’m immune from the Gaslighters. 🔥🧯🚒💯
Galatians 6:17
From henceforth let no man trouble me: for I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus. ❤🎯💯
Scripture is definitely the vax that does give immunity
Hallelujah!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾💯🔥
Peace and harmony in family relationships is what drives me to put up with thoughtless and unkind behavior. THANK YOU for your wisdom in teaching me that I am not being sinful in avoiding their toxic and manipulative behavior.
I realize that I needed this person in my life to teach me that I can only count on our Lord and that all man/women will let us down at one point or another. It has made me lean on the Lord Jesus Christ during these encounters.
Thank you, Kris! Great advice, as usual, given from a biblical view with a sense of humor and wisdom. I am grateful😊
Totally.
Some need to feel better by putting others down.this Lack and feardominion is wreaking havoc on hopes and joy in general.pulling dark energy as some say makes sense.
Wow so important to know identity and to know What God says about Us instead of falling for the lies of the gas lighter
I get that you are correct but you cannot change these ppl. It is definitely “from such turn away”
God can change them
@@keshiabroadwaycaraballo3002 yes for sure! If they would let him - but the one that destroyed my son thought he WAS God
Absolutely Right on Gaslighting people Verbally. Sometimes, I feel I've taken one step & 2 backward. 😢 But, I just keep moving forward 😊
All I can say is this video is by far the best out there on the topic. EVERY example provided is how my sister operates. You nailed it on every level and it lays the foundation of what I had come to expect. I would consider this video a primmer.
Prior to seeing this video, I put my sister down as a raging narcissist. In my mind, she is the worst form of it. I have seen her derive joy in causing pain.
From young on she had tendencies. Like, yelling at us for leaving a jacket on a chair, then she does the same and it’s ok for her to do. Rules do not apply to her. In her teenage years she became involved with the occult, then, ultimately, in so-called good “white” witchcraft. Later, she claimed she left it, but I do not believe it for a second. I have seen enough evidence that she has not.
Years later I tried to make the case for Christ. Though, she acknowledges Jesus is great, she denies his deity. She classifies Jesus as just a prophet in a long list of prophets. Those are her words, not mine. We exchanged points and it soon became apparent it was a lost cause. She lies, deflects, gaslights, attacks, belittles, minimizes, accuses, and sabotages. I had things in writing from her where she would deny she said it, and when confronted with that glaring error, she’d gaslight, deflect, attack, and belittle. And btw, she does not believe in hell either.
Fast forward to the last five years. My elderly parents needed care and both my sister and I became executors for them. I was thrust into working with her. To say that it was a nightmare, it is a massive understatement. She had POA over their health and her screwball ideas for treatment caused so much angst amongst the family that it was toxic. It was so bad that two aids reached out to me that they can’t take working with her anymore. She at one point had a psychic advising what supplements to administer. The arguments were endless.
My only option would have been to have authorities remove her as POA. But, that is a slippery slope because you can imagine the hellfire she would let loose. And that would put my parents health and two disabled siblings health in danger. I had to walk on eggshells and pray. At one point, authorities stepped in on their own and pushed to have her removed. This happened twice. In both cases, she manipulated out of the problem and remained POA. She is a fantastic liar and manipulator. And mind you… she was not concerned about the parents or anyone else, just that she can’t be perceived as wrong. Becuase if she was wrong, it proved to everyone just how wrong she has been. Along with that, she did not want to lose her death grip on the family. I suspect the estate is what she was most concerned about.
Eventually, my parents passed. We then had to work together on the estate and guess what, she tried cheating my brother out of his share. Fortunately, the laws of this state are wise to it. It was a glorious moment when the lawyer after listening to her spiel tells her, sorry, by law he gets 1/3. I could see her persona deflate like a popped balloon. It was a glorious moment because just three days earlier we had a bitter argument about what she was trying to do.
That brings us to three days ago. She emailed me a raging message over something so stupid that it should never have been an issue. Basically, she threatened to disown my brother and I if we didn’t stop treating her badly. She even pulled out the, you are so ungodly ploy. All the accusations, lies, and manipulations flew at me. Mind you, the whole issue she was raging about was her own fault. I could prove that too, easily, but what’s the use. She’d deny, deflect, accuse, attack, and gaslight.
I thought, ok, that is perfect. I was now at a point that family interests are met and I can do what I have wanted to do for some time and that is, disconnect from her. That is what I did. I did not get into her game of back and forth, which I am sure is what she wanted. I instead told her, I am done. That she is the most toxic person I have ever met, and that I am cutting all communication with her. Further more, to stay the hell away from me.
Dealing with her these last several years damaged me. Just thought of her puts me into anxiety. Having placed her into a box outside of my immediate world is proving to be healing, liberating, and joyous. And btw. I consider her the most dangerous form of narcissist. She is controlled by demons. I have no doubt about that. With her witchcraft she sold her soul to the devil. I often felt like I was fighting not against my sister, but against demons.
My question in all this is, what causes this. As I stated, she had these tendencies from a very young age. There is a history of mental illness in my family. Is it genetic? Is it demonic? The house we lived in seemed haunted..
Absolutely an amazing video I learned so much. God bless you Kris you are really helping a lot of people .
Love your teachings! God is speaking in my situations
Being informed is the best defense and also; not reacting!
I love these videos. I listen to them over and over here and there. It’s like retraining my brain! Thanks for these videos. I wish I could like them every time I listen.
Very nice. I like the way you teach. God bless you dear Kris may God use you more n more as Jesus Return is Near Maraynatha!!!
Thank you Masood!
AMEN🙌😊
I’ve driven over 1000 miles to assist family and I’m now in a finically compromised position. I’ll leave out the details. Will say I started reading a book that basically says even the worst criminals justify themselves and many think they are basically good people in the right, no matter what they’ve done. It’s a challenge to attempt to reason with that thinking. God please help us all
Thank you for your Christian witness! Amen!
Many thanks, Esteemed
Set the bar lower as they move the goal post further away.
We don't need to get with a christian counsellor grounded in scripture when we've got You ~ you're the best, 🌷 in 35yrs my Narc has never ever validated me quite the opposite he takes the side of the one who's offended me ~ who's upset me, the odd thing is my Mom did the same she was a raving Narc,
Triangulation = typical textbook narc behavior
Great Advice, Love it! Thank you for sharing your Godly Wisdom! God Bless👏🙏
Thanks for your constant encouragement Sherrilynn. :)
No contact
That is the best possible outcome 💯 it's possible
But in my situation right now I can only grey rock it out and hope
Thank You for sharing this amazing Godly wisdom 🙏
God Bless Your Journey 🙏
knowledge is priceless! ty
Thank you pretty lady for helping people!
Merry christmas ! God bless!
I really like you! Enjoying the lightness; other videos on this subject are so heavy. Thank you 🙏
It has been an incredibly distressing seven years😢
I love your videos! I’m so happy you share verses from the Bible!
Brilliant, brilliant!! Thank you, Kris. Your teachings are as if you were living my life! (Just clarify, not my marriage)
Very insightful.. thank you very much... i am longing for to kiss this energy waste goodbye.. will listen to this vid until it goes deeper..
Soooo good. Appreciate the way you teach us how to respond. Gaslighting is a big issue in these relationships and in many relationships.
My 2nd marriage to a contentious, narcissist has to end . I'm totally burned out from daily attacks. Counseling won't work with her. After 22 years or enabling her, I have to leave. It's something how I wound up on your site while asking for prayer on another devotional site! Thanks for what I learned! At 86, I can go live at the very nice VA home in Napa valley. Now I have to figure out how to make the transition without going to war with her. . .
Thank you Minister Reece God Bless you ❤️🙏🏾😇
Yes! I am dealing with this.
Thank you
There was no truth when my family was gaslighting me for years. I would just let them say things to me because I had no idea what this even was. When I found out one was specifically making up lies about me and spreading it, even to my kids... not okay. It’s just weird to me. They can think what they want, but what ended up happening needed to be confronted.
I've no hope!!!!
love these videos!!!
Hi Kris, thanks for your videos, these are really great tips, and these types of incisive direct statements are my natural instinctive responses. The elephant in the room, however, is that while these responses will give pause for thought for self-regulating people, these responses do not always de-escalate comunication interactions with people who habitually engage in gaslighting. Even when delivered calmly and non provocatively, escallation, obfuscation, and outrage often ensue. With difficult relationships that still matter to me, digging deeper into my Christian faith I attempt to limit opportunies for conflict by completely honouring my 'knowing' of when communication is dishonest and unfair (as you have also suggested) - and by restricting my responses, avoiding handing out home truths about their manipulation, but refusing to get hijacked and still clearly stating my case from my side of the fence. I also choose very carefully where and when to initiate any important, potentially difficult, conversation with controlling people.
Thanks for helping me . This video helped me a lot spiritually . I am still learn and growing .
Can u do a video on how to handle a narcissist who plays victim to a crowd/ family...
My hubby's mother held the leading role of poor poor, put upon, self sacrificing, martyr victim.
Evidently, she owned the only hotline to God.
She received revelation and blessings directly from Him.
Through which, she could decide who were deemed worthy or not.
By the time she passed, the whole family was worn out with her constant crocodile tears and crying wolf.
She would feign illness so often, we never knew if it was real or not.
She had everyone running in circles trying to comfort and soothe her.
All the while, she triangulated and dropped hints that so and so wasn't doing enough.
It became a pissing contest to see who could out do who.
What a wild ride that was.
I decided to always treat her the way I wanted to be treated (God's golden rule).
With respect and kindness (despite receiving neither from her).
I decided to leave my emotions at the door and not react.
Since she did not hand pick me as a worthy specimen for her son to marry, she loved to try to diminish and hurt me.
I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.
I sidestepped the traps/snares that she set.
I let her jealous/passive/agressive/veiled insults roll off me like water off a ducks back.
She once arrived at my home for a Sunday dinner I hosted and prepared for her, FIL, my husband, our grown children, and their spouses.
I started to make small talk
(How are you? Glad you came. Etc.)
She immediately asked me to do her a favor and to not talk to her.
I casually said, "I can do that."
Then proceeded to smile and have pleasant conversations with everyone else that evening, except her.
(One of the best dinners, with her, that I ever had).
It became a comical show.
I showed up and acted as an observer.
I was genuinely kind to her and thanked her for raising her son, my husband, to be a wonderful, Godly man.
(It burned her up to hear that one).
When she died, bless her heart, I can truly say that I had learned to love and accept who she was.
I held my head high, knowing that I did not jump into the sty and roll in her mud.
I can honor her
And
I am free of her.
She is buried in the same cemetery as my beloved grammy.
It brings my heart so much peace to know that, I don't have to visit my Mother in law or lay flowers at her grave.
I reserve that for those who cherish me and treat me right.
I have met and know a lot of Pastors who use "witchcraft" all the time
This was great advice Kris!
I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for wathing.
I took a vacation day from work. While I was gone, my boss went into my project tracking software program to enter a new project, and he completely messed everything up. When I came back to work, I had an email in my inbox from the project tracking software company telling me my boss entered a new project. I printed off the email and I asked my boss what he did because things were messed up and I needed to fix it. He looked me right in the eyes and said he didn’t do anything at all. I then showed him the email from the company, that had his name on it, saying he entered a new project. Again, he looked me right in the eyes and said he didn’t do anything. Gaslighting me. I just walked away from him and fixed the problem on my own.
I can literally listen to these idiots tell me some bs for 1-2 hours, then they say they never said that...
Excellent video!
11 min mark just hit me. Thanks
When I had a gaslighting female minister boss at a Baptist church in my twenties, she would say that someone was upset with me about some failing or mishap that was not really my fault or beyond my control. Then I would apologize to the so called upset person, and they would say oh it's nothing. I could've said to my boss, I found out she wasn't mad like you told me. From now on, when you tell me what anyone said concerning me, I will double check with them, to ensure their message to me or about me does not get lost in translation. That's what I will do from now on to facilitate clear communication because we all just want resolve, rigghhhht????? 😃 LOL! Wish I knew ! But I do now....
Absolutely, trust, then verify.
Had this happen to me. No one was upset but her and she wanted to validate her anger with me. She didnt like sharing the load because she needed to be wanted and do all the work for validation herself. When I stepped in to help or was asked to- she hated it and projected her attitude onto me and mentioned “complaints” no one ever made.
Higher ground Sister
Amen: "Pax Tecum" My Sister ... Great Clip!
your my sister in Jesus Christ
Thanks Kris!!! Needed this today❤🙏🏼
My mother is a gaslighter. She comes out with all these phrases. She ALWAYS puts the onus on me & cannot accept anything negative about herself. She frequently denies she’s ever said or done something & will go so far as say I’m making it up (especially if I challenge her). As you were giving your answers, I thought “yes, they’re good” but then thought of how she’d come back at me. 🙄😖😞
It's hard, frenzy - it's really hard to get that person as your mom. I know But YOU are good. Please always remember and never forget - YOU are good.
@@sandi5276 thank you. God bless you.
They are hollow shells and their story is all they have so if you are in a different script they have to shut you down because they have nowhere else to go.
"My experience, says otherwise are you interested in talking about it," or "I am not interested in debating that with you."
Thanks for sharing your knowledge.
God's words. Wise counsel 👍🏼🎯
I wish ap ko bohat pahly listen
It's seriously too late i feel.
Good message! Also love the background music. 🎶😎
Great video!❤ I now want some butter pecan ice cream, too!
My family is full of them because generations of abuse and alcoholism. I got help for this many years ago. I grey rock a few I'm around. If they start with their abusive behavior I dont talk to them for weeks and they can't stand that. I have to pick my battles and its not easy. After one narcissist in my family dies I'm done with all them.
Nice narrative on being able to play both parts and thanks for your knowledge it is very important as well helpful ❤️
It can be harder for us who are question or ADHD … I get ricked into a conversation and I think it’s a TEAL conversation when it’s only a TRAP…
So I’ve been practicing not responding. To see what the reaction is. If it’s engaging and positive I’ll keep going if not I’ll stop.
… being in a house together and stuck together … for 2 weeks … I can do this:
Almost everyone you said seems like a toddler. I’ve been working on how I speak to them through dialectical behavioral therapy…it’s all about me and how I react to emotion not them…
Wow!!!
After being gaslight recently, I called them out right then in public. Npt sure whoheard thenconversation. They did the same behavior again to irritate and dominate me, which was crossing the same boundary and they did it in a smartelicy way, like you are being too sensitive. No, I clearly was in the right. It has been a few weeks and this person no longer comes around. In fact, they stay in their own boundaries. Communal narc that doesn't want to lookmbad. A lot of people think meekness is weakness. The other person who was also putting them up to it, no longer crosses a boundary they have tried pushing for years.They think because I am a Christian doesn't mean I am weak. They got chewed out royal and they deserved it. I felt God was saying I did the right thing. These people are in every walk of life.
Thank you so much. I am trying to learn these most appropriate strategies.