Do you know that there are more than 40,000 different denominational churches within Christendom that are all teaching many different doctrines and teachings from one another? That means that there are thousands of different forms of Christianity that exist in the world today! Paul wrote in Galatians 1: "If anyone brings unto you any other form of doctrine than what we have already brought unto you, he shall be cursed." He also said in Acts 20:29-30 "For I know this; That after my death, grievous wolves will enter in among you that will not care for the people of God. Even from among yourselves men shall arise and speak corrupt things to draw away disciples after themselves." Jude wrote: "Because some men have crept into the churches without being noticed, those that in the past have been written about and they will receive damnation. (Jeremiah 23) They are ungodly men that are corrupting the grace of God, perverting it to allow for their own lusts; They contradict and deny (by teachings and deeds) our only God and the Lord Jesus Christ. (Titus 1:16; 2 Peter 2:1; Acts 20:29-30; Galatians 2:4-5; Jeremiah 23; 2 Thessalonians 2:10-12; Matthew 24:4-5, 11, 24; Isaiah 30:10; Isaiah 9:16; Zephaniah 3:4)" Jesus many times warned about false doctrines as he did in Matthew 24: "Beware, do not let anyone mislead any of you; (2 Thessalonians 2:11) Many will come and claim to be of me, they will even say that I am the Christ, yet they will deceive many and lead them into great error." I ask you, if these warnings are serious about deviating from what was taught in the early church of the first century, why is it that so very few care to examine themselves and the churches that they attend? Do people not care if they are in the true doctrine, or are they just prideful, presuming that they hold the truth? I ask, what does it truly mean to be a Christian and how can we identify false doctrines and teachings and also prove what the true doctrines are? It is simple. It is by looking at the writings of the men that were taught by the apostles and interpreting the scriptures through their understanding and the doctrines that they brought forth. WHy? Because they did not read the bible to interpret it as they chose, but they lived, worked and ate with the apostles and they learned directly from them, having certainly received a much more thorough understanding from them and would have had their questions and the deeper meanings of the scriptures taught to them directly from the apostles of Jesus Christ. Read the writings of Barnabas, Clement of Rome, Hermas, Ignatius and others and interpret the scriptures through their words, and you will be much more likely to come to the original intent of the scriptures and true doctrine. I challenge you to test yourself to see whether ye be in the faith (doctrine of Christ). For God's Truth, get your copy of THE ETERNAL BOOK OF TRUTH, THE NEW TESTAMENT SCRIPTURES. Available on Amazon and other online bookstores.
thriftylady1170 This works - that karolynrice6267 bans everything to you (only she will inflate her ego on costs of others) (s)words - wrong, work, worries, writing, wrath, war(drobe - hypocrisy - words, for example) ChristopherGaslighter It's super difficult with extreme A.D.H.D. and P.T.S.D. - sounds like N. S. D. A. P. - its difficult with your extreme ego, no matter if you call it reckless "normality" or other excuse$$ ... super = unnece$$ary, otherwise you would let it for yourself, not push it to others
My biggest issue in life was the mistake of thinking everyone thinks like me, there are very bad people out there that will hurt you and that will bring them joy
Gas lighters use personal information you shared with them against you. I experienced this today from someone. I asked him, "Am I on trial here". He had no answer...
@@ottoadsit1241 my Asperger narc did this: slutshamed me and used my dead mother too. He told me he had "motherlove," for me. Now I know why he lives permanently in a mental health institution: he IS INSANE
Avoid them as much as possible. Resist the urge to talk/argue with them. They're crazy. If they try to talk to you, don't respond! YOU DON'T HAVE TO INTERACT WITH THEM. THEY ARE NOT GOD! P.s. Ask God to help you as this is not easy! I know. I've had alot of experience unfortunately! The Lord will fight for you. You only need to be still. ❤️
@@Jessica-is-WisePsalm1 hi. Theres a great sermon that might encourage and help you. Look up Pastor Howard John Wesley, 'stand still '. Its helped me alot. Xo
Finally i learned, just don't respond. Say nothing. Just stare at them with a somber expression, and walk away. They will understand you saw through them and chose to stay classy. Do not...argue with them. Don't defend your viewpoint. Stay quiet, look them in them eye, turn and walk away.
So good to see someone fully recovered and awake to all the narcissistic nonsense. To deliver your message with humour and authenticity makes it all the more powerful
Embracing biblical principles has empowered me to break free from the clutches of gaslighting, revealing the strength and resilience within me that no narcissist can extinguish. 🙏
you just invited devils with your inflated ego? but you arent a superman for real, i guess ... so it looks kinda risky ... but saying anything was never responsible i guess ... atleast as just 1 quotation alone ...
Once I identity a narcissist, I keep little to ZERO contact with them. My life gets better when I do this. If I keep them in my life, I punish myself the Bible says and that’s very TRUE!
You automatically become gaslit resistant when you make reading and studying your daily habit, that's another way of collecting facts and figures from other sources other than yourself! So make studying and reading your daily business !
The little flashes to the bag boy and ice cream eating had me cracking up. Love the little touches like that. Humor was a big factor in processing for me once i got on the other side. I'm 12 years out from removing myself from a marriage to a narcissistic person who started Crossing in to physical abuse. Healing does come . God is good. I recently discovered this Channel and it has helped me process the things that happened and even laugh at it If you are in the middle I have a situation with an abusive narcissist, please don't lose faith, please pray, trust God's timing and guidance and please know in your heart that you can heal from it❤
I am a christian woman who has a narcissistic husband and he gaslights me along with stonewalling me. I have learned how to handle it this way. I say to him when he starts with one of these behaviors "I have to take a time out and I am leaving". "We can revisit this when you have thought through it more and have abetter understanding of what God has for us."
Narcissistic Abuse is Abuse. You don’t deserve to be treated bad… I pray and hope Jesus sends you the Support you Need! …the Support from those that have been through it and understand it.
I spent years exhausting myself trying to encourage him, get him to see the light, defend, explain… until God said.. He doesn’t DESERVE to hear your VOICE 😊.. so silence became my power
@SuperMichelleDJ with all due respect recommending divorce after reading 4 sentences and never talking to a person and then labeling them negative if they don't agree seems pretty bizarre to me. If you've been hurt that sucks but you probably don't know who you're talking to and if they went through what you have.
I've seen people who have no credentials yet insist on being the boss, this is very evil, people who won't let you talk or listen to ways to make things better is very evil. One way to get your joy back is to cling to God and declare that you will rejoice in Hope that God will straighten the mess out and Thank God ahead of time for it.
try a "mental health advocacy group".... they will back family members who play the perfect little innocent victim... oh poor me, the loving caring one who comes here so I can learn how best to respond to that mentally ill family member i love and care about so much and I want to the bigger person and help the situation in my classically calm and patient "can-do overcomer" fashion, aka NAMI , The National Alliance on Mental Illness".... and also nuts to their Untrained , Peer Support "Counselors" and "Faciltators" who love to "lead" and be an example to their "peers," many of whom are way more capable but unfortunately they have their loyal adoring "peers" who have the wool pulled over their eyes that these charlatans are their best buds and heroes. BLECK. Enough to be burned by one of these people who meant well but blew it when handling my introduction into this "peer connection" group and now my messages are not answered and I, who suffered humiliation and zero chance to finish my "check-in," leaving me abruptly cut off because the session time ending is strictly enforced, and I got barely any time, tried to explain the very serious situation I am in right now living, at 60 yrs old, betrayed and isolated daily in a dark and ill-equipped small basement room with a bathroom and a microwave but no kitchenette nor permission from the covert narcissist mother who has abused/been emotuonally unavailable to me in every way since early childhood and because I was an inconvenient accident, i got stress hormones in the womb and a mother who directed all her rage at my dad, and now, all the rage fron her own trauma and trauma bonds from her own childhood... but to pick up, this "peer connection group facilitator" interrupts me when I am making a fine and valiant effort to encapsulate a complex and completely, miserably enmeshed relationship wherein now, because right now I have no other place to go, she holds all the power, leverage and wants nothing more than to live in denial and justify herself as all of just our last two hellish years of this as being 100% MY fault and she has recruited all 3 siblings with her half-truths, exaggerations, distortions and backhanded means of deceit, plus mutual friends from church who have been friends for decades, and mainly MY friends... so yes, I DID forgive her for everything from childhood and she rejected it many years ago when I offered it, saying, verbatim, completely deadpan and without the slightest modicum of humility or gratitude... but anyway, here I am with this adored but out-of-her-league "peer group facilitator" who , well-meaning or not, begins to ply me with questions about whether I have ever been in therapy (? yeah, like since 1987, when she was 7 yrs old, and I was just out of college contending with a very complicated technical job, plus dealing with management that was the top-down style whose best tool was ruling by terror and threats, plus played favorites... and I am called on in this peer group with only a matter of minutes before the group, which was meeting by Zoom, was abruptly shut down... when i COULD have gotten some support or at least a reasonable closure... but for this barely over 40 year old incompetent "leader's" very misguided attempts to rescue me and "fix" me at the very end of an hour-and-half meeting where half of the participants, who already knew each other, were more about chewing the fat than they were about fulfilling the mission of the group, i. e., to avail themselves of the opportunity to learn from and support each other, toward the larger goal of everyone gaining insight and encouragement so as to be better able to manage symptoms and situations and thereby come closer to leading better, more fulfilling, and more productive lives. I was left humiliated and now this "leader," who happens to be a Facebook friend, no longer answering me on Messenger.
Its so good to be in a peaceful state of mind, till a person "push your buttons" to take it all away, what's worse is when you respond and end up giving them just what they wanted....😮😮😮😮😢
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together, it was a really bad phase but we got through it.
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things..
@@wonhur885 its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
I get that from my oldest brother alot. He has been having a serious anger issues and narcissism problems that's been plaquing my family for years and I desperately want to leave that source of toxicity behind from him.
My sister and her husband are Terrible humans. Lie, deceive, manipulate and then attack ppl to get a response then play the victim. It's so difficult dealing with family like that. Sorry for what you're going through.
@missysmessage722 No worries, I'm just hoping for a faithful day that I can definitely cut ties from my oldest brother and leave him forever. I know this might not be the best option that God would want me to go into, but at least that will finally give me peace for my own life.
@careyhuff357 we should have the courage to confront those family members who have wronged us and have them face the justice they deserve. Even if they don't or will never learn their lessons, they need to either get locked away from us or be disowned by their own family if they keep screwing us over.
Walk Away Safely. They long and love to fight. Keep you and yours safe and secretly get out. You can't change or adjust to their horrors. RUN if you have to.
One of my shining moments... My sister was angry she wasn't in control of our mother's will. I certainly didn't want the responsibility, but I had been entrusted with it. At one point my sister sobbed deeply and cried overwhelmingly. Standing nose to nose I simply and calmly stated, "I don't know why your crying?" Seeing I wasn't manipulated, immediately her continents became wolverine like. Without taking a step back, still standing nose to nose I calmly repeated, "I don't know why your so upset." With that she stormed out defeated. I could write a book on the trials of a narcissistic mother and sister. Here's the point, healing is possible and life can be joyful. However, I don't understand how healing can be obtained apart from God. Secondly healing takes time and in my case separating from the narcissist. Funny I didn't even know what narcissism was until after my mom's death. I had lived under her lies...toxic behavior for 60 years. We were "Created with Purpose" and Kris is here to help along the way! Thank you Kris!
I have been praying to God to help me handle my sister, who is very toxic. She’s caused havoc and pain for my mother and her children. Thank you as I believe God led me to your channel.!!!
I can’t live like this anymore. My mother is the worst covert narcissist you have ever seen. You can’t do any of these techniques she talks so fast and always has my dad in the background while she’s yelling. I could just have a difference of opinion and she goes off. I am 55 and have just blocked her on every phone I have. I am a good Christian daughter and she has ruined my relationship with my dad she is awful. She won’t let me talk, she talks so fast and everything that comes out of her mouth is a slam against me. Then the next day she leaves a voicemail and says “ are you still mad? “ we love you” after she ripped me to shreds the day before. I have everything recorded on my camera and I was being calm and cool and didn’t do anything. Oh I left out the horrible phone call that evening and the text messages that I do elderly abuse and how her and my dad can’t take it anymore. I had just got done the week before calling my dad and making him an appointment because his heart went into a fib. I am good to them, but it’s like walking on land mines ever time she pickes up the phone. I don’t think god would want me to be abused like this after trying over and over for many years. I am not going to take this anymore, I can’t it’s affecting my life, my marriage, my adult son. It has to be a demonic spirit because who does this to their children. I have listened to every grey rock technique, using certain words, saying I have to go, nothing works with her. It’s mental abuse, there is nothing else that sums it up.
She sounds mentally ill quite frankly. You need strong boundaries. Sit down with your hubby and son and talk about what those might be. It might be you have limited contact and on your terms. I wouldn’t be engaging with her when she is in that state. The moment she yells, say you are not tolerating that, you’re happy to chat when she’s calm and leave. I would also reply to to the elder abuse accusation and tell her that that behaviour is not acceptable and you won’t be engaging with her without an apology.
@@Bella77260 It doesn't work. It just doesn't. It will last until the next time she decides she needs a "fix" at the daughter's expense, and then it's ''here we go again." Been there, lived it, tried it. You can't fix this disorder unless they decide they want change. But they don't think change in themselves is needed. The only change they think is necessary is that you agree to be their verbal punching bag.
@@4gma59 yes thank you I totally agree. Even if you say you have to go they somehow call you on a surprise attack and get you another way. They are evil
@@Bella77260 thank you, I have tried that tactic but she won’t apologize because if you have another opinion with a covert narcissist you become an enemy. The only thing I can compare it to as an example is like having a popular girl in high school that bully’s a girl that she competes with from jealousy and will be revengeful. She uses my dad as a weapon against me, “ always stating your dad is real mad at you. She puts the phone on speakerphone and when I have a difference of opinion she talks real fast so I can’t speak and makes it sound like she’s in an argument with me. He then starts yelling in the background “ hang the phone up on her”. I just cry because of the mental torture. Then I forgive and the cycle happens again. I started recording calls back in 2016 occasionally and even then she would always state how mad my dad is at me. He used to be close, I even saved his life from dying of low platelets in 2011 because I found the remedy that worked. She sends me text telling me how they can’t take it from me anymore and last month she said elder abuse. I am a devout Christian, I use to take care of the elderly through a home care agency in the 90’s, all my patients loved me. I never argue with anyone, but she has figured out that I know her tactics so she has found new ways to hurt me. She treats my dad bad also but he just takes it and she has instructed him over the last 10 yrs that he needs to discipline his children. He yells at my brother also when she disagrees with him. There has to be a demon in her or her brain has been damaged at some point. It’s really sad because she could have had a wonderful relationship with a daughter that would have loved her, but unfortunately I can’t because accusations like elder abuse will be taken seriously by the right people. 20 yrs ago she had her family doctor document in her chart that she thinks her husband is poisoning her. She’s crazy! And dangerous
@@jenm981 l get she will probably never apologise the reason l put that there isn’t so much for a result although it gives her an opportunity but rather for you, that you are setting boundaries that are strong. Walking away does work. I’ve done it and saying no more is the only answer. Basically in walking away when she yells, or terminating contact at that point or even limiting contact sends a strong message that you won’t tolerate it but more importantly protects your emotional well-being. It’s not easy and l feel for you but setting firm boundaries and limiting contact as sad as that is really is the only answer.
The gas lighter is my husband it's not that easy to get away from someone you live with he screams and swears loudly at me and when I asked him to lower his voice and be kind he tells me he's not screaming or he will start screaming louder he does not own any of his bad behavior and I'm so fed up I got married for love and kindness and fun but since he got the ring on my finger he's been abusive and verbally mean. He withhold affection and withhold sex.
@@susannablessings5773 I hope you get help to get out of it. It's not your responsibility to control anyone else's bad decisions and their problems. It's your responsibility to fix yourself. I don't mean to sound horrible because I hope you are safe and doing well. I just mean that you need to get away from your husband because you aren't responsible for how he is. And he's hurting you and is not safe for you.
I loved the dialog back and forth between the inner you and the outward, because I also was like, "When can I tell them off (in a Christian way lol)?" and step 2 was a game changer for me!
Kriss Reese God's chosen Apostle for this deviated world . May the Holy spirit continue to empower you and our believers .May the glittering light of Heaven surround you well forever Apostle .
Peace and harmony in family relationships is what drives me to put up with thoughtless and unkind behavior. THANK YOU for your wisdom in teaching me that I am not being sinful in avoiding their toxic and manipulative behavior. I realize that I needed this person in my life to teach me that I can only count on our Lord and that all man/women will let us down at one point or another. It has made me lean on the Lord Jesus Christ during these encounters.
Thank you Kris, you're so right about everything. It's so very true. Thank you for the Godly wisdom. I go through this with both of my parents, and my grandmother since they are Narcissists. I got support from friends from church since I am a Christian myself. I know my worth and values. My peace comes from God. God is great all the time. God bless
This is why it's better not to have friends! 🙄Seriously...stay away from all people. We are ALL just toxic people, that's what the internet tells me. Dear lord there is no solution.
I lived with people like this for years, then the church people was the same way. Praise be to God who heals and set free His people. They individuals will always exist, it is best to remain calm and true to God’s word. Do nothing in your own strength and seek God for guidance with each individual, what worked with one, may not work with another. Great advice Kris again, awesome teacher.
God is teaching me how to deal with a gaslighter, a neighbor who wakes me up every night in the middle of the night, and then denies any wrong doing. In Matthew 5, it says to love our enemies, and pray for those who persecute us. He's such a difficult person, I'm pretty sure there aren't many other people praying for him. It's not easy, not at all.
Praying for someone is good, a special gift. But caving in to the narc is supplying the addict his addiction of choice, It is answering the door to an alcoholic, giving him a drink, then telling him he needs to stop drinking. Trying to convince him he is doing wrong is just feeding his addiction. His addiction is having you tell him his wrong. Stop engaging. No longer go over and tell him he's waking you up. Say no more about it. Don't answer the door. Don't engage. If he ups his game to get you stirred up, feign ignorance, as though you don't know what he is talking about. As you pray for your neighbor pray for yourself to disengage and resist trying to fix the evil. It is hard to do. But it is possible. Jas_4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
The keyword at the start of the video for me was the term witchcraft that's all I needed to hear to pause the video and proceed to insert my comment. Thank you!
My family is full of them because generations of abuse and alcoholism. I got help for this many years ago. I grey rock a few I'm around. If they start with their abusive behavior I dont talk to them for weeks and they can't stand that. I have to pick my battles and its not easy. After one narcissist in my family dies I'm done with all them.
I’ve driven over 1000 miles to assist family and I’m now in a finically compromised position. I’ll leave out the details. Will say I started reading a book that basically says even the worst criminals justify themselves and many think they are basically good people in the right, no matter what they’ve done. It’s a challenge to attempt to reason with that thinking. God please help us all
What about when he does all of these things and says I do it and yet I don't and stay on subject and then I get hollered at because he does that every time he does something wrong like joining a dating site and then messaging other woman he doesn't know and he twists everything after he lies even when I have the proof and he goes to church with me and I know he's toxic but it's hard to let him go because I love him but he just wants a friendship with me and I've heard every single one of what a narcissist says
My toxic Husband passed away the end of last month from cancer. He stated he was a Christian, I believed him. Before he died he changed passwords and the list goes on. He handled all the finances and kept me out of the loop. I was codependent. Big mistake!!
Totally. Some need to feel better by putting others down.this Lack and feardominion is wreaking havoc on hopes and joy in general.pulling dark energy as some say makes sense.
I love these videos. I listen to them over and over here and there. It’s like retraining my brain! Thanks for these videos. I wish I could like them every time I listen.
My 2nd marriage to a contentious, narcissist has to end . I'm totally burned out from daily attacks. Counseling won't work with her. After 22 years or enabling her, I have to leave. It's something how I wound up on your site while asking for prayer on another devotional site! Thanks for what I learned! At 86, I can go live at the very nice VA home in Napa valley. Now I have to figure out how to make the transition without going to war with her. . .
I hope you manage to leave. You don't have to negotiate anything with her at all. It's not her responsibility or her job to keep you. if she tries to create a wall with you, ignore her or wear earplugs or do something to prevent her from getting a reaction from you.
I hope you manage to leave. You don't have to negotiate anything with her at all. It's not her responsibility or her job to keep you. if she tries to create a wall with you, ignore her or wear earplugs or do something to prevent her from getting a reaction from you.
God bless you Kris for your ministry to help us. Empaths struggle with the narcissists in our life. Going no contact was the best decision I made since I moved next door to someone who acts like a toddler 😵💫
My hubby's mother held the leading role of poor poor, put upon, self sacrificing, martyr victim. Evidently, she owned the only hotline to God. She received revelation and blessings directly from Him. Through which, she could decide who were deemed worthy or not. By the time she passed, the whole family was worn out with her constant crocodile tears and crying wolf. She would feign illness so often, we never knew if it was real or not. She had everyone running in circles trying to comfort and soothe her. All the while, she triangulated and dropped hints that so and so wasn't doing enough. It became a pissing contest to see who could out do who. What a wild ride that was. I decided to always treat her the way I wanted to be treated (God's golden rule). With respect and kindness (despite receiving neither from her). I decided to leave my emotions at the door and not react. Since she did not hand pick me as a worthy specimen for her son to marry, she loved to try to diminish and hurt me. I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction. I sidestepped the traps/snares that she set. I let her jealous/passive/agressive/veiled insults roll off me like water off a ducks back. She once arrived at my home for a Sunday dinner I hosted and prepared for her, FIL, my husband, our grown children, and their spouses. I started to make small talk (How are you? Glad you came. Etc.) She immediately asked me to do her a favor and to not talk to her. I casually said, "I can do that." Then proceeded to smile and have pleasant conversations with everyone else that evening, except her. (One of the best dinners, with her, that I ever had). It became a comical show. I showed up and acted as an observer. I was genuinely kind to her and thanked her for raising her son, my husband, to be a wonderful, Godly man. (It burned her up to hear that one). When she died, bless her heart, I can truly say that I had learned to love and accept who she was. I held my head high, knowing that I did not jump into the sty and roll in her mud. I can honor her And I am free of her. She is buried in the same cemetery as my beloved grammy. It brings my heart so much peace to know that, I don't have to visit my Mother in law or lay flowers at her grave. I reserve that for those who cherish me and treat me right.
When it comes to A.I..Gaslighting and Rich Elite Government Gaslighting, a person under such duress and trauma, cannot be bound to any E.U.L.A. Agreement. I am sharing this legal wisdom for others to know and use.
Your videos have been there every step of the way dealing with this in my work place. Thank you Kris. You were a light I didn't know I needed 2 weeks ago.
I am constantly bombarded by my past mistakes by my husband after 20 plus years, and constantly holds against me even though I’ve given my life to Jesus hurts! Non stop, he has a horrible past too, but I don’t hold it against him at all. Hard times!
We don't need to get with a christian counsellor grounded in scripture when we've got You ~ you're the best, 🌷 in 35yrs my Narc has never ever validated me quite the opposite he takes the side of the one who's offended me ~ who's upset me, the odd thing is my Mom did the same she was a raving Narc,
There was no truth when my family was gaslighting me for years. I would just let them say things to me because I had no idea what this even was. When I found out one was specifically making up lies about me and spreading it, even to my kids... not okay. It’s just weird to me. They can think what they want, but what ended up happening needed to be confronted.
After being gaslight recently, I called them out right then in public. Npt sure whoheard thenconversation. They did the same behavior again to irritate and dominate me, which was crossing the same boundary and they did it in a smartelicy way, like you are being too sensitive. No, I clearly was in the right. It has been a few weeks and this person no longer comes around. In fact, they stay in their own boundaries. Communal narc that doesn't want to lookmbad. A lot of people think meekness is weakness. The other person who was also putting them up to it, no longer crosses a boundary they have tried pushing for years.They think because I am a Christian doesn't mean I am weak. They got chewed out royal and they deserved it. I felt God was saying I did the right thing. These people are in every walk of life.
Your truth is different then their truth. Ppl have their own perception of what their truth is. This was a struggle with my narc marriage. If he failed to tell me something (truth) he would say, I didn’t tell you this bc I was afraid of YOUR reaction. I said, that is lying. He of course didn’t agree.
only knowing them personally can tell you that. Usually people repeat negative patterns and you dont go on ranting your struggles to random person and having intuition of liars
“i accept your faulty perception of me.” ⚖️No Doc’ My life. My rules. 📌You are in MY house, and under MY roof and you will Obide by MY rules or leave. In some cases best not to respond to a narcissist but give them a blank stare and let them have the last word. I was with a narcissistic minister for prayer and he prayed that God change me? So in turn i asked God to have mercy on me to grant “that change” be upon him. And he was filled with wrath for staing the obvious. And asked God to givr him humble pie. I chose not to explain to “them” what humble pie refers to since narcissists speak in riddles. The prayer was not an open rebuke. But for God to bless his servant to see others with a brand new perspective as God see’s us “in His image.”
How do you stay in the marriage with one? Never have a sense of security safety protection being provided for authenticity emotional safety and Knowing that you can set them off at the drop of a dime And lastly not having confidence that they will remain faithful because all it takes is are you going to be stroked. Pretty much you're married to yourself You have the covenant with yourself. Don't even know how to navigate that
Hope you are able to watch her other videos on Narcissists and find healing within. Healing within is what helped me in the midst of the craziness. Then I was able to confidently relate with them and remain untouched
All I can say is this video is by far the best out there on the topic. EVERY example provided is how my sister operates. You nailed it on every level and it lays the foundation of what I had come to expect. I would consider this video a primmer. Prior to seeing this video, I put my sister down as a raging narcissist. In my mind, she is the worst form of it. I have seen her derive joy in causing pain. From young on she had tendencies. Like, yelling at us for leaving a jacket on a chair, then she does the same and it’s ok for her to do. Rules do not apply to her. In her teenage years she became involved with the occult, then, ultimately, in so-called good “white” witchcraft. Later, she claimed she left it, but I do not believe it for a second. I have seen enough evidence that she has not. Years later I tried to make the case for Christ. Though, she acknowledges Jesus is great, she denies his deity. She classifies Jesus as just a prophet in a long list of prophets. Those are her words, not mine. We exchanged points and it soon became apparent it was a lost cause. She lies, deflects, gaslights, attacks, belittles, minimizes, accuses, and sabotages. I had things in writing from her where she would deny she said it, and when confronted with that glaring error, she’d gaslight, deflect, attack, and belittle. And btw, she does not believe in hell either. Fast forward to the last five years. My elderly parents needed care and both my sister and I became executors for them. I was thrust into working with her. To say that it was a nightmare, it is a massive understatement. She had POA over their health and her screwball ideas for treatment caused so much angst amongst the family that it was toxic. It was so bad that two aids reached out to me that they can’t take working with her anymore. She at one point had a psychic advising what supplements to administer. The arguments were endless. My only option would have been to have authorities remove her as POA. But, that is a slippery slope because you can imagine the hellfire she would let loose. And that would put my parents health and two disabled siblings health in danger. I had to walk on eggshells and pray. At one point, authorities stepped in on their own and pushed to have her removed. This happened twice. In both cases, she manipulated out of the problem and remained POA. She is a fantastic liar and manipulator. And mind you… she was not concerned about the parents or anyone else, just that she can’t be perceived as wrong. Becuase if she was wrong, it proved to everyone just how wrong she has been. Along with that, she did not want to lose her death grip on the family. I suspect the estate is what she was most concerned about. Eventually, my parents passed. We then had to work together on the estate and guess what, she tried cheating my brother out of his share. Fortunately, the laws of this state are wise to it. It was a glorious moment when the lawyer after listening to her spiel tells her, sorry, by law he gets 1/3. I could see her persona deflate like a popped balloon. It was a glorious moment because just three days earlier we had a bitter argument about what she was trying to do. That brings us to three days ago. She emailed me a raging message over something so stupid that it should never have been an issue. Basically, she threatened to disown my brother and I if we didn’t stop treating her badly. She even pulled out the, you are so ungodly ploy. All the accusations, lies, and manipulations flew at me. Mind you, the whole issue she was raging about was her own fault. I could prove that too, easily, but what’s the use. She’d deny, deflect, accuse, attack, and gaslight. I thought, ok, that is perfect. I was now at a point that family interests are met and I can do what I have wanted to do for some time and that is, disconnect from her. That is what I did. I did not get into her game of back and forth, which I am sure is what she wanted. I instead told her, I am done. That she is the most toxic person I have ever met, and that I am cutting all communication with her. Further more, to stay the hell away from me. Dealing with her these last several years damaged me. Just thought of her puts me into anxiety. Having placed her into a box outside of my immediate world is proving to be healing, liberating, and joyous. And btw. I consider her the most dangerous form of narcissist. She is controlled by demons. I have no doubt about that. With her witchcraft she sold her soul to the devil. I often felt like I was fighting not against my sister, but against demons. My question in all this is, what causes this. As I stated, she had these tendencies from a very young age. There is a history of mental illness in my family. Is it genetic? Is it demonic? The house we lived in seemed haunted..
If I get my needs met by God, then I won't need to put so much pressure on the "narc". God often works through people so if I seek out other Godly people and begin paying more attention to healthy relationship models than I am to the problems in ours... Then I'll either inspire a better relationship or create one - with myself - whether gaslighters are in my life or not ;o)
Hi Kris, thanks for your videos, these are really great tips, and these types of incisive direct statements are my natural instinctive responses. The elephant in the room, however, is that while these responses will give pause for thought for self-regulating people, these responses do not always de-escalate comunication interactions with people who habitually engage in gaslighting. Even when delivered calmly and non provocatively, escallation, obfuscation, and outrage often ensue. With difficult relationships that still matter to me, digging deeper into my Christian faith I attempt to limit opportunies for conflict by completely honouring my 'knowing' of when communication is dishonest and unfair (as you have also suggested) - and by restricting my responses, avoiding handing out home truths about their manipulation, but refusing to get hijacked and still clearly stating my case from my side of the fence. I also choose very carefully where and when to initiate any important, potentially difficult, conversation with controlling people.
Oh my goodness! Whoever you're dealing with sounds like they need to go to a psychiatric hospital where they can learn self-control there. If they can't regulate themselves in society, they can learn to do so in a medical setting.
Grab your FREE Toxic People Survival Guide
krisreece.com/toxic-people-survival-guide
Do you know that there are more than 40,000 different denominational churches within Christendom that are all teaching many different doctrines and teachings from one another?
That means that there are thousands of different forms of Christianity that exist in the world today!
Paul wrote in Galatians 1:
"If anyone brings unto you any other form of doctrine than what we have already brought unto you, he shall be cursed."
He also said in Acts 20:29-30
"For I know this; That after my death, grievous wolves will enter in among you that will not care for the people of God. Even from among yourselves men shall arise and speak corrupt things to draw away disciples after themselves."
Jude wrote:
"Because some men have crept into the churches without being noticed, those that in the past have been written about and they will receive damnation. (Jeremiah 23) They are ungodly men that are corrupting the grace of God, perverting it to allow for their own lusts; They contradict and deny (by teachings and deeds) our only God and the Lord Jesus Christ. (Titus 1:16; 2 Peter 2:1; Acts 20:29-30; Galatians 2:4-5; Jeremiah 23; 2 Thessalonians 2:10-12; Matthew 24:4-5, 11, 24; Isaiah 30:10; Isaiah 9:16; Zephaniah 3:4)"
Jesus many times warned about false doctrines as he did in Matthew 24:
"Beware, do not let anyone mislead any of you; (2 Thessalonians 2:11) Many will come and claim to be of me, they will even say that I am the Christ, yet they will deceive
many and lead them into great error."
I ask you, if these warnings are serious about deviating from what was taught in the early church of the first century, why is it that so very few care to examine themselves and the churches that they attend? Do people not care if they are in the true doctrine, or are they just prideful, presuming that they hold the truth?
I ask, what does it truly mean to be a Christian and how can we identify false doctrines and teachings and also prove what the true doctrines are?
It is simple.
It is by looking at the writings of the men that were taught by the apostles and interpreting the scriptures through their understanding and the doctrines that they brought forth.
WHy?
Because they did not read the bible to interpret it as they chose, but they lived, worked and ate with the apostles and they learned directly from them, having certainly received a much more thorough understanding from them and would have had their questions and the deeper meanings of the scriptures taught to them directly from the apostles of Jesus Christ.
Read the writings of Barnabas, Clement of Rome, Hermas, Ignatius and others and interpret the scriptures through their words, and you will be much more likely to come to the original intent of the scriptures and true doctrine.
I challenge you to test yourself to see whether ye be in the faith (doctrine of Christ).
For God's Truth, get your copy of THE ETERNAL BOOK OF TRUTH, THE NEW TESTAMENT SCRIPTURES. Available on Amazon and other online bookstores.
@@Daniel12.4Ministryour apostle is Paul. Our gospel is found in 1 Corinthians 15:1-4 kjv.
Once you stop expecting anything from them it gets easier.
Amen
The solution at it simplest!!! 👏
So true... especially doctors
I concur. 😏
Omg prove he was is a liar calm tried that lol
don't defend, don't engage, don't explain, and don't personalize. (deep)
refusing makes it bigger?
This works ❤️
It's super difficult with extreme A.D.H.D. and P.T.S.D.
thriftylady1170
This works
- that karolynrice6267 bans everything to you (only she will inflate her ego on costs of others) (s)words - wrong, work, worries, writing, wrath, war(drobe - hypocrisy - words, for example)
ChristopherGaslighter
It's super difficult with extreme A.D.H.D. and P.T.S.D.
- sounds like N. S. D. A. P.
- its difficult with your extreme ego, no matter if you call it reckless "normality" or other excuse$$ ... super = unnece$$ary, otherwise you would let it for yourself, not push it to others
@@karolynrice6267 AMEN!
My biggest issue in life was the mistake of thinking everyone thinks like me, there are very bad people out there that will hurt you and that will bring them joy
I'm just going to say, "I smell gas!", and walk away.
"I've passed gas"
🤣
That's a good one! Thank you for sharing this.
Lol
@@katiejo1095 I like that!👏
Gas lighters use personal information you shared with them against you. I experienced this today from someone. I asked him, "Am I on trial here". He had no answer...
🤔 nice one.
@@ottoadsit1241 my Asperger narc did this: slutshamed me and used my dead mother too. He told me he had "motherlove," for me. Now I know why he lives permanently in a mental health institution: he IS INSANE
@@-xyz-012 my. Mom as well
Yes, this what they do
All because they don't agree and shamed
Avoid them as much as possible. Resist the urge to talk/argue with them. They're crazy. If they try to talk to you, don't respond! YOU DON'T HAVE TO INTERACT WITH THEM. THEY ARE NOT GOD!
P.s. Ask God to help you as this is not easy! I know. I've had alot of experience unfortunately!
The Lord will fight for you. You only need to be still. ❤️
Surely not
Also no one needs a word spoken to them. I'm sorry but a word? I mean tell me the language! But otherwise please I'm not talking!
Please pray for me I’m going to file for divorce soon it’s so hard not to call him out on his bs…
@@Jessica-is-WisePsalm1 hi. Yes i will! So sorry for what you're facing. Xo
@@Jessica-is-WisePsalm1 hi. Theres a great sermon that might encourage and help you. Look up Pastor Howard John Wesley, 'stand still '. Its helped me alot. Xo
Please pray for my safety and provision. Many thanks ! Also , doing an endless standing ovation 💜 to your comment
Finally i learned, just don't respond. Say nothing. Just stare at them with a somber expression, and walk away. They will understand you saw through them and chose to stay classy.
Do not...argue with them. Don't defend your viewpoint. Stay quiet, look them in them eye, turn and walk away.
I do that! 😬
It definitely works because they are looking for reaction...it's their drug...
So good to see someone fully recovered and awake to all the narcissistic nonsense. To deliver your message with humour and authenticity makes it all the more powerful
Grey rock them until you leave. You are allowed to shake the dust off & move on. 🕊️✨💐✝️💗✝️💐✨🕊️
Amen! Amen!
Done!
Yessir!! Thank you!
I agree. I'm in that process.Go grey rock and make your plans to escape and do not share those plans with anyone.
@@stevenr6874 exactly ❗️🎯✔️
Embracing biblical principles has empowered me to break free from the clutches of gaslighting, revealing the strength and resilience within me that no narcissist can extinguish. 🙏
In Jesus name amen
you just invited devils with your inflated ego? but you arent a superman for real, i guess ... so it looks kinda risky ... but saying anything was never responsible i guess ... atleast as just 1 quotation alone ...
Oh my, pray for me please. I love your reply.
Thank you. Thank God, amen.
When people start playing stupid games, call em out and leave. They start begging you not to leave, too. What crazy people 😩
Once I identity a narcissist, I keep little to ZERO contact with them. My life gets better when I do this. If I keep them in my life, I punish myself the Bible says and that’s very TRUE!
You can't get rid of your parent
@@Oilofmercy
Sure can. Walk away. It's their choice. Choose you
How do you identify them?
You automatically become gaslit resistant when you make reading and studying your daily habit, that's another way of collecting facts and figures from other sources other than yourself!
So make studying and reading your daily business !
My spirit knows what it saw so it rests in the truth
The little flashes to the bag boy and ice cream eating had me cracking up. Love the little touches like that. Humor was a big factor in processing for me once i got on the other side. I'm 12 years out from removing myself from a marriage to a narcissistic person who started Crossing in to physical abuse. Healing does come . God is good.
I recently discovered this Channel and it has helped me process the things that happened and even laugh at it
If you are in the middle I have a situation with an abusive narcissist, please don't lose faith, please pray, trust God's timing and guidance and please know in your heart that you can heal from it❤
I am a christian woman who has a narcissistic husband and he gaslights me along with stonewalling me. I have learned how to handle it this way. I say to him when he starts with one of these behaviors "I have to take a time out and I am leaving". "We can revisit this when you have thought through it more and have abetter understanding of what God has for us."
Narcissistic Abuse is Abuse. You don’t deserve to be treated bad…
I pray and hope Jesus sends you the Support you Need! …the Support from those that have been through it and understand it.
No offence but I hope you leave your abusive husband. Staying with him is ablest.
No offence but I hope you leave your abusive husband. Staying with him is ablest.
I spent years exhausting myself trying to encourage him, get him to see the light, defend, explain… until God said.. He doesn’t DESERVE to hear your VOICE 😊.. so silence became my power
@SuperMichelleDJ with all due respect recommending divorce after reading 4 sentences and never talking to a person and then labeling them negative if they don't agree seems pretty bizarre to me. If you've been hurt that sucks but you probably don't know who you're talking to and if they went through what you have.
I've seen people who have no credentials yet insist on being the boss, this is very evil, people who won't let you talk or listen to ways to make things better is very evil. One way to get your joy back is to cling to God and declare that you will rejoice in Hope that God will straighten the mess out and Thank God ahead of time for it.
I know exactly what you’re talking about!!!
❤
try a "mental health advocacy group".... they will back family members who play the perfect little innocent victim... oh poor me, the loving caring one who comes here so I can learn how best to respond to that mentally ill family member i love and care about so much and I want to the bigger person and help the situation in my classically calm and patient "can-do overcomer" fashion, aka NAMI , The National Alliance on Mental Illness".... and also nuts to their Untrained , Peer Support "Counselors" and "Faciltators" who love to "lead" and be an example to their "peers," many of whom are way more capable but unfortunately they have their loyal adoring "peers" who have the wool pulled over their eyes that these charlatans are their best buds and heroes. BLECK. Enough to be burned by one of these people who meant well but blew it when handling my introduction into this "peer connection" group and now my messages are not answered and I, who suffered humiliation and zero chance to finish my "check-in," leaving me abruptly cut off because the session time ending is strictly enforced, and I got barely any time, tried to explain the very serious situation I am in right now living, at 60 yrs old, betrayed and isolated daily in a dark and ill-equipped small basement room with a bathroom and a microwave but no kitchenette nor permission from the covert narcissist mother who has abused/been emotuonally unavailable to me in every way since early childhood and because I was an inconvenient accident, i got stress hormones in the womb and a mother who directed all her rage at my dad, and now, all the rage fron her own trauma and trauma bonds from her own childhood... but to pick up, this "peer connection group facilitator" interrupts me when I am making a fine and valiant effort to encapsulate a complex and completely, miserably enmeshed relationship wherein now, because right now I have no other place to go, she holds all the power, leverage and wants nothing more than to live in denial and justify herself as all of just our last two hellish years of this as being 100% MY fault and she has recruited all 3 siblings with her half-truths, exaggerations, distortions and backhanded means of deceit, plus mutual friends from church who have been friends for decades, and mainly MY friends... so yes, I DID forgive her for everything from childhood and she rejected it many years ago when I offered it, saying, verbatim, completely deadpan and without the slightest modicum of humility or gratitude... but anyway, here I am with this adored but out-of-her-league "peer group facilitator" who , well-meaning or not, begins to ply me with questions about whether I have ever been in therapy (? yeah, like since 1987, when she was 7 yrs old, and I was just out of college contending with a very complicated technical job, plus dealing with management that was the top-down style whose best tool was ruling by terror and threats, plus played favorites... and I am called on in this peer group with only a matter of minutes before the group, which was meeting by Zoom, was abruptly shut down... when i COULD have gotten some support or at least a reasonable closure... but for this barely over 40 year old incompetent "leader's" very misguided attempts to rescue me and "fix" me at the very end of an hour-and-half meeting where half of the participants, who already knew each other, were more about chewing the fat than they were about fulfilling the mission of the group, i. e., to avail themselves of the opportunity to learn from and support each other, toward the larger goal of everyone gaining insight and encouragement so as to be better able to manage symptoms and situations and thereby come closer to leading better, more fulfilling, and more productive lives. I was left humiliated and now this "leader," who happens to be a Facebook friend, no longer answering me on Messenger.
Its so good to be in a peaceful state of mind, till a person "push your buttons" to take it all away, what's worse is when you respond and end up giving them just what they wanted....😮😮😮😮😢
How true...
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together, it was a really bad phase but we got through it.
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things..
@@wonhur885 its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
@@Eltonscruggs this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.
@@wonhur885 kindly look her up online and you won't regret it.
This is not the place for posting your scam referrals to a sketchy voodoo priestess. If anyone else reads this nonsense, please disregard.
I get that from my oldest brother alot. He has been having a serious anger issues and narcissism problems that's been plaquing my family for years and I desperately want to leave that source of toxicity behind from him.
My sister and her husband are Terrible humans. Lie, deceive, manipulate and then attack ppl to get a response then play the victim. It's so difficult dealing with family like that. Sorry for what you're going through.
@missysmessage722 No worries, I'm just hoping for a faithful day that I can definitely cut ties from my oldest brother and leave him forever. I know this might not be the best option that God would want me to go into, but at least that will finally give me peace for my own life.
Same, and my sis has complete control. My family won't stand up against hwr. So I'm the problem
@careyhuff357 we should have the courage to confront those family members who have wronged us and have them face the justice they deserve. Even if they don't or will never learn their lessons, they need to either get locked away from us or be disowned by their own family if they keep screwing us over.
@@geviesanta3631 I agree ☝️ and I’m glad to see your comment and this channel I’m not alone! God bless you Geviesanta3631
Thank you. I don't want to be a victim anymore.
Walk Away Safely. They long and love to fight. Keep you and yours safe and secretly get out. You can't change or adjust to their horrors. RUN if you have to.
I’m SO disabled, for SO long by these assaults on me, that I would rather just avoid them, block them completely.
What is really terrible is how easy it is for seemingly everyone to do this, except those who are the gaslighting targets...
One of my shining moments... My sister was angry she wasn't in control of our mother's will. I certainly didn't want the responsibility, but I had been entrusted with it. At one point my sister sobbed deeply and cried overwhelmingly. Standing nose to nose I simply and calmly stated, "I don't know why your crying?" Seeing I wasn't manipulated, immediately her continents became wolverine like. Without taking a step back, still standing nose to nose I calmly repeated, "I don't know why your so upset." With that she stormed out defeated.
I could write a book on the trials of a narcissistic mother and sister. Here's the point, healing is possible and life can be joyful. However, I don't understand how healing can be obtained apart from God. Secondly healing takes time and in my case separating from the narcissist.
Funny I didn't even know what narcissism was until after my mom's death. I had lived under her lies...toxic behavior for 60 years.
We were "Created with Purpose" and Kris is here to help along the way! Thank you Kris!
*countenance
@@4gma59 Thank you, your input will make my post more understandable.
@@sherry7911 I'm in the legal field and a spelling nazi. I meant no offense. Thank you for being gracious.
@@4gma59 It's a good friend who tells you there's salad in your teeth. LOL! I have the impression you are a good friend.
@@4gma59
A discipline in which textual sleuths are essential -- a single word, or syllable, changes an entire case.
God is my all in all.
I just refrain from discussing the issues …..knowing that I know the truth!!
Its condemnable offense ro play games wth another human mind. NO way around that truth.
A narcissist will start building a dependency real or imagined. You may find that there is no need to deal with them at all.
I have been praying to God to help me handle my sister, who is very toxic. She’s caused havoc and pain for my mother and her children. Thank you as I believe God led me to your channel.!!!
“The haft of the arrow had been feathered with one of the eagles own plumes. We often give our enemies the means of our own destruction.”
― Aesop
" We often give our enemies the means of our own destruction "...
Sadly realized ...✌️
@@susanazinger2525 Once realized never repeated!
@johnmckenna1776
I repeated so many times that I keep any contact with others in the shallow water
@@christinemccoy4471 Yes I did the same, lesson learned!
If it were only this easy fair enough they forget but when it way of life or 1000x it gets exhausting! 😢
Your a true source of wisdom! A rare finding on youTube! Thank you for being a helpful guide 🙏💕
I can’t live like this anymore. My mother is the worst covert narcissist you have ever seen. You can’t do any of these techniques she talks so fast and always has my dad in the background while she’s yelling. I could just have a difference of opinion and she goes off. I am 55 and have just blocked her on every phone I have. I am a good Christian daughter and she has ruined my relationship with my dad she is awful. She won’t let me talk, she talks so fast and everything that comes out of her mouth is a slam against me. Then the next day she leaves a voicemail and says “ are you still mad? “ we love you” after she ripped me to shreds the day before. I have everything recorded on my camera and I was being calm and cool and didn’t do anything. Oh I left out the horrible phone call that evening and the text messages that I do elderly abuse and how her and my dad can’t take it anymore. I had just got done the week before calling my dad and making him an appointment because his heart went into a fib. I am good to them, but it’s like walking on land mines ever time she pickes up the phone. I don’t think god would want me to be abused like this after trying over and over for many years. I am not going to take this anymore, I can’t it’s affecting my life, my marriage, my adult son. It has to be a demonic spirit because who does this to their children. I have listened to every grey rock technique, using certain words, saying I have to go, nothing works with her. It’s mental abuse, there is nothing else that sums it up.
She sounds mentally ill quite frankly. You need strong boundaries. Sit down with your hubby and son and talk about what those might be. It might be you have limited contact and on your terms. I wouldn’t be engaging with her when she is in that state. The moment she yells, say you are not tolerating that, you’re happy to chat when she’s calm and leave. I would also reply to to the elder abuse accusation and tell her that that behaviour is not acceptable and you won’t be engaging with her without an apology.
@@Bella77260 It doesn't work. It just doesn't. It will last until the next time she decides she needs a "fix" at the daughter's expense, and then it's ''here we go again." Been there, lived it, tried it. You can't fix this disorder unless they decide they want change. But they don't think change in themselves is needed. The only change they think is necessary is that you agree to be their verbal punching bag.
@@4gma59 yes thank you I totally agree. Even if you say you have to go they somehow call you on a surprise attack and get you another way. They are evil
@@Bella77260 thank you, I have tried that tactic but she won’t apologize because if you have another opinion with a covert narcissist you become an enemy. The only thing I can compare it to as an example is like having a popular girl in high school that bully’s a girl that she competes with from jealousy and will be revengeful. She uses my dad as a weapon against me, “ always stating your dad is real mad at you. She puts the phone on speakerphone and when I have a difference of opinion she talks real fast so I can’t speak and makes it sound like she’s in an argument with me. He then starts yelling in the background “ hang the phone up on her”. I just cry because of the mental torture. Then I forgive and the cycle happens again. I started recording calls back in 2016 occasionally and even then she would always state how mad my dad is at me. He used to be close, I even saved his life from dying of low platelets in 2011 because I found the remedy that worked. She sends me text telling me how they can’t take it from me anymore and last month she said elder abuse. I am a devout Christian, I use to take care of the elderly through a home care agency in the 90’s, all my patients loved me. I never argue with anyone, but she has figured out that I know her tactics so she has found new ways to hurt me. She treats my dad bad also but he just takes it and she has instructed him over the last 10 yrs that he needs to discipline his children. He yells at my brother also when she disagrees with him. There has to be a demon in her or her brain has been damaged at some point. It’s really sad because she could have had a wonderful relationship with a daughter that would have loved her, but unfortunately I can’t because accusations like elder abuse will be taken seriously by the right people. 20 yrs ago she had her family doctor document in her chart that she thinks her husband is poisoning her. She’s crazy! And dangerous
@@jenm981 l get she will probably never apologise the reason l put that there isn’t so much for a result although it gives her an opportunity but rather for you, that you are setting boundaries that are strong. Walking away does work. I’ve done it and saying no more is the only answer. Basically in walking away when she yells, or terminating contact at that point or even limiting contact sends a strong message that you won’t tolerate it but more importantly protects your emotional well-being. It’s not easy and l feel for you but setting firm boundaries and limiting contact as sad as that is really is the only answer.
The gas lighter is my husband it's not that easy to get away from someone you live with he screams and swears loudly at me and when I asked him to lower his voice and be kind he tells me he's not screaming or he will start screaming louder he does not own any of his bad behavior and I'm so fed up I got married for love and kindness and fun but since he got the ring on my finger he's been abusive and verbally mean. He withhold affection and withhold sex.
Typical textbook Narc behavior
June 20th 2024 he moved out into his own apartment closer to his work . He did this after I threatened to call the police.
@@susannablessings5773 wow awesome girl!
@@susannablessings5773 I hope you get help to get out of it. It's not your responsibility to control anyone else's bad decisions and their problems. It's your responsibility to fix yourself. I don't mean to sound horrible because I hope you are safe and doing well. I just mean that you need to get away from your husband because you aren't responsible for how he is. And he's hurting you and is not safe for you.
“What am I trying to get out of this person or situation?” Always a good question to ask.
I loved the dialog back and forth between the inner you and the outward, because I also was like, "When can I tell them off (in a Christian way lol)?" and step 2 was a game changer for me!
🙋🏽♀️😂
Kriss Reese God's chosen Apostle for this deviated world . May the Holy spirit continue to empower you and our believers .May the glittering light of Heaven surround you well forever Apostle .
I get that you are correct but you cannot change these ppl. It is definitely “from such turn away”
God can change them
@@keshiabroadwaycaraballo3002 yes for sure! If they would let him - but the one that destroyed my son thought he WAS God
Peace and harmony in family relationships is what drives me to put up with thoughtless and unkind behavior. THANK YOU for your wisdom in teaching me that I am not being sinful in avoiding their toxic and manipulative behavior.
I realize that I needed this person in my life to teach me that I can only count on our Lord and that all man/women will let us down at one point or another. It has made me lean on the Lord Jesus Christ during these encounters.
Wow so important to know identity and to know What God says about Us instead of falling for the lies of the gas lighter
Thank you Kris, you're so right about everything. It's so very true. Thank you for the Godly wisdom. I go through this with both of my parents, and my grandmother since they are Narcissists. I got support from friends from church since I am a Christian myself. I know my worth and values. My peace comes from God. God is great all the time. God bless
Amen. God is great. Thanks for watching.
This is why it's better not to have friends! 🙄Seriously...stay away from all people. We are ALL just toxic people, that's what the internet tells me. Dear lord there is no solution.
I lived with people like this for years, then the church people was the same way. Praise be to God who heals and set free His people. They individuals will always exist, it is best to remain calm and true to God’s word. Do nothing in your own strength and seek God for guidance with each individual, what worked with one, may not work with another. Great advice Kris again, awesome teacher.
Amen!
God is teaching me how to deal with a gaslighter, a neighbor who wakes me up every night in the middle of the night, and then denies any wrong doing. In Matthew 5, it says to love our enemies, and pray for those who persecute us.
He's such a difficult person, I'm pretty sure there aren't many other people praying for him. It's not easy, not at all.
Praying for someone is good, a special gift. But caving in to the narc is supplying the addict his addiction of choice, It is answering the door to an alcoholic, giving him a drink, then telling him he needs to stop drinking. Trying to convince him he is doing wrong is just feeding his addiction. His addiction is having you tell him his wrong. Stop engaging. No longer go over and tell him he's waking you up. Say no more about it. Don't answer the door. Don't engage. If he ups his game to get you stirred up, feign ignorance, as though you don't know what he is talking about. As you pray for your neighbor pray for yourself to disengage and resist trying to fix the evil. It is hard to do. But it is possible. Jas_4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Learning to leave well enough alone. Work on me to see clearly how to love, forgive, and move on.
The keyword at the start of the video for me was the term witchcraft that's all I needed to hear to pause the video and proceed to insert my comment. Thank you!
Absolutely Right on Gaslighting people Verbally. Sometimes, I feel I've taken one step & 2 backward. 😢 But, I just keep moving forward 😊
My family is full of them because generations of abuse and alcoholism. I got help for this many years ago. I grey rock a few I'm around. If they start with their abusive behavior I dont talk to them for weeks and they can't stand that. I have to pick my battles and its not easy. After one narcissist in my family dies I'm done with all them.
I've no hope!!!!
I’ve driven over 1000 miles to assist family and I’m now in a finically compromised position. I’ll leave out the details. Will say I started reading a book that basically says even the worst criminals justify themselves and many think they are basically good people in the right, no matter what they’ve done. It’s a challenge to attempt to reason with that thinking. God please help us all
Set the bar lower as they move the goal post further away.
What about when he does all of these things and says I do it and yet I don't and stay on subject and then I get hollered at because he does that every time he does something wrong like joining a dating site and then messaging other woman he doesn't know and he twists everything after he lies even when I have the proof and he goes to church with me and I know he's toxic but it's hard to let him go because I love him but he just wants a friendship with me and I've heard every single one of what a narcissist says
I have met and know a lot of Pastors who use "witchcraft" all the time
Absolutely an amazing video I learned so much. God bless you Kris you are really helping a lot of people .
Being informed is the best defense and also; not reacting!
knowledge is priceless! ty
My toxic Husband passed away the end of last month from cancer. He stated he was a Christian, I believed him. Before he died he changed passwords and the list goes on. He handled all the finances and kept me out of the loop. I was codependent. Big mistake!!
Totally.
Some need to feel better by putting others down.this Lack and feardominion is wreaking havoc on hopes and joy in general.pulling dark energy as some say makes sense.
I love these videos. I listen to them over and over here and there. It’s like retraining my brain! Thanks for these videos. I wish I could like them every time I listen.
My 2nd marriage to a contentious, narcissist has to end . I'm totally burned out from daily attacks. Counseling won't work with her. After 22 years or enabling her, I have to leave. It's something how I wound up on your site while asking for prayer on another devotional site! Thanks for what I learned! At 86, I can go live at the very nice VA home in Napa valley. Now I have to figure out how to make the transition without going to war with her. . .
I hope you manage to leave. You don't have to negotiate anything with her at all. It's not her responsibility or her job to keep you. if she tries to create a wall with you, ignore her or wear earplugs or do something to prevent her from getting a reaction from you.
I hope you manage to leave. You don't have to negotiate anything with her at all. It's not her responsibility or her job to keep you. if she tries to create a wall with you, ignore her or wear earplugs or do something to prevent her from getting a reaction from you.
God bless you Kris for your ministry to help us. Empaths struggle with the narcissists in our life. Going no contact was the best decision I made since I moved next door to someone who acts like a toddler 😵💫
Can u do a video on how to handle a narcissist who plays victim to a crowd/ family...
My hubby's mother held the leading role of poor poor, put upon, self sacrificing, martyr victim.
Evidently, she owned the only hotline to God.
She received revelation and blessings directly from Him.
Through which, she could decide who were deemed worthy or not.
By the time she passed, the whole family was worn out with her constant crocodile tears and crying wolf.
She would feign illness so often, we never knew if it was real or not.
She had everyone running in circles trying to comfort and soothe her.
All the while, she triangulated and dropped hints that so and so wasn't doing enough.
It became a pissing contest to see who could out do who.
What a wild ride that was.
I decided to always treat her the way I wanted to be treated (God's golden rule).
With respect and kindness (despite receiving neither from her).
I decided to leave my emotions at the door and not react.
Since she did not hand pick me as a worthy specimen for her son to marry, she loved to try to diminish and hurt me.
I wasn't going to give her the satisfaction.
I sidestepped the traps/snares that she set.
I let her jealous/passive/agressive/veiled insults roll off me like water off a ducks back.
She once arrived at my home for a Sunday dinner I hosted and prepared for her, FIL, my husband, our grown children, and their spouses.
I started to make small talk
(How are you? Glad you came. Etc.)
She immediately asked me to do her a favor and to not talk to her.
I casually said, "I can do that."
Then proceeded to smile and have pleasant conversations with everyone else that evening, except her.
(One of the best dinners, with her, that I ever had).
It became a comical show.
I showed up and acted as an observer.
I was genuinely kind to her and thanked her for raising her son, my husband, to be a wonderful, Godly man.
(It burned her up to hear that one).
When she died, bless her heart, I can truly say that I had learned to love and accept who she was.
I held my head high, knowing that I did not jump into the sty and roll in her mud.
I can honor her
And
I am free of her.
She is buried in the same cemetery as my beloved grammy.
It brings my heart so much peace to know that, I don't have to visit my Mother in law or lay flowers at her grave.
I reserve that for those who cherish me and treat me right.
When it comes to A.I..Gaslighting and Rich Elite Government Gaslighting, a person under such duress and trauma, cannot be bound to any E.U.L.A. Agreement. I am sharing this legal wisdom for others to know and use.
I can literally listen to these idiots tell me some bs for 1-2 hours, then they say they never said that...
Your videos have been there every step of the way dealing with this in my work place. Thank you Kris. You were a light I didn't know I needed 2 weeks ago.
Many thanks, Esteemed
Very insightful.. thank you very much... i am longing for to kiss this energy waste goodbye.. will listen to this vid until it goes deeper..
It has been an incredibly distressing seven years😢
Merry christmas ! God bless!
Thank you, Kris! Great advice, as usual, given from a biblical view with a sense of humor and wisdom. I am grateful😊
I am constantly bombarded by my past mistakes by my husband after 20 plus years, and constantly holds against me even though I’ve given my life to Jesus hurts! Non stop, he has a horrible past too, but I don’t hold it against him at all. Hard times!
Give them nothing, take back everything you ever gave them.
Thank you for your Christian witness! Amen!
No contact
That is the best possible outcome 💯 it's possible
But in my situation right now I can only grey rock it out and hope
We don't need to get with a christian counsellor grounded in scripture when we've got You ~ you're the best, 🌷 in 35yrs my Narc has never ever validated me quite the opposite he takes the side of the one who's offended me ~ who's upset me, the odd thing is my Mom did the same she was a raving Narc,
Triangulation = typical textbook narc behavior
There was no truth when my family was gaslighting me for years. I would just let them say things to me because I had no idea what this even was. When I found out one was specifically making up lies about me and spreading it, even to my kids... not okay. It’s just weird to me. They can think what they want, but what ended up happening needed to be confronted.
Yes! I am dealing with this.
Love your teachings! God is speaking in my situations
After being gaslight recently, I called them out right then in public. Npt sure whoheard thenconversation. They did the same behavior again to irritate and dominate me, which was crossing the same boundary and they did it in a smartelicy way, like you are being too sensitive. No, I clearly was in the right. It has been a few weeks and this person no longer comes around. In fact, they stay in their own boundaries. Communal narc that doesn't want to lookmbad. A lot of people think meekness is weakness. The other person who was also putting them up to it, no longer crosses a boundary they have tried pushing for years.They think because I am a Christian doesn't mean I am weak. They got chewed out royal and they deserved it. I felt God was saying I did the right thing. These people are in every walk of life.
I’m immune from the Gaslighters. 🔥🧯🚒💯
Galatians 6:17
From henceforth let no man trouble me: for I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus. ❤🎯💯
Scripture is definitely the vax that does give immunity
Hallelujah!!!!!!!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾💯🔥
Your truth is different then their truth. Ppl have their own perception of what their truth is. This was a struggle with my narc marriage.
If he failed to tell me something (truth) he would say, I didn’t tell you this bc I was afraid of YOUR reaction. I said, that is lying. He of course didn’t agree.
Gaslighting has never bothered me. I don’t let it.
Very nice. I like the way you teach. God bless you dear Kris may God use you more n more as Jesus Return is Near Maraynatha!!!
Thank you Masood!
AMEN🙌😊
How do I tell the difference between being a victim/having a victim mentality and admitting to/talking about my struggles?
I have been wanting to know the same thing!
only knowing them personally can tell you that. Usually people repeat negative patterns and you dont go on ranting your struggles to random person and having intuition of liars
“i accept your faulty perception of me.”
⚖️No Doc’ My life. My rules.
📌You are in MY house, and under MY roof and you will Obide by MY rules or leave.
In some cases best not to respond to a narcissist but give them a blank stare and let them have the last word.
I was with a narcissistic minister for prayer and he prayed that God change me? So in turn i asked God to have mercy on me to grant “that change” be upon him. And he was filled with wrath for staing the obvious. And asked God to givr him humble pie. I chose not to explain to “them” what humble pie refers to since narcissists speak in riddles. The prayer was not an open rebuke. But for God to bless his servant to see others with a brand new perspective as God see’s us “in His image.”
Soooo good. Appreciate the way you teach us how to respond. Gaslighting is a big issue in these relationships and in many relationships.
I really like you! Enjoying the lightness; other videos on this subject are so heavy. Thank you 🙏
How do you stay in the marriage with one?
Never have a sense of security safety protection being provided for authenticity emotional safety and Knowing that you can set them off at the drop of a dime And lastly not having confidence that they will remain faithful because all it takes is are you going to be stroked.
Pretty much you're married to yourself You have the covenant with yourself.
Don't even know how to navigate that
Hope you are able to watch her other videos on Narcissists and find healing within. Healing within is what helped me in the midst of the craziness. Then I was able to confidently relate with them and remain untouched
"My experience, says otherwise are you interested in talking about it," or "I am not interested in debating that with you."
All I can say is this video is by far the best out there on the topic. EVERY example provided is how my sister operates. You nailed it on every level and it lays the foundation of what I had come to expect. I would consider this video a primmer.
Prior to seeing this video, I put my sister down as a raging narcissist. In my mind, she is the worst form of it. I have seen her derive joy in causing pain.
From young on she had tendencies. Like, yelling at us for leaving a jacket on a chair, then she does the same and it’s ok for her to do. Rules do not apply to her. In her teenage years she became involved with the occult, then, ultimately, in so-called good “white” witchcraft. Later, she claimed she left it, but I do not believe it for a second. I have seen enough evidence that she has not.
Years later I tried to make the case for Christ. Though, she acknowledges Jesus is great, she denies his deity. She classifies Jesus as just a prophet in a long list of prophets. Those are her words, not mine. We exchanged points and it soon became apparent it was a lost cause. She lies, deflects, gaslights, attacks, belittles, minimizes, accuses, and sabotages. I had things in writing from her where she would deny she said it, and when confronted with that glaring error, she’d gaslight, deflect, attack, and belittle. And btw, she does not believe in hell either.
Fast forward to the last five years. My elderly parents needed care and both my sister and I became executors for them. I was thrust into working with her. To say that it was a nightmare, it is a massive understatement. She had POA over their health and her screwball ideas for treatment caused so much angst amongst the family that it was toxic. It was so bad that two aids reached out to me that they can’t take working with her anymore. She at one point had a psychic advising what supplements to administer. The arguments were endless.
My only option would have been to have authorities remove her as POA. But, that is a slippery slope because you can imagine the hellfire she would let loose. And that would put my parents health and two disabled siblings health in danger. I had to walk on eggshells and pray. At one point, authorities stepped in on their own and pushed to have her removed. This happened twice. In both cases, she manipulated out of the problem and remained POA. She is a fantastic liar and manipulator. And mind you… she was not concerned about the parents or anyone else, just that she can’t be perceived as wrong. Becuase if she was wrong, it proved to everyone just how wrong she has been. Along with that, she did not want to lose her death grip on the family. I suspect the estate is what she was most concerned about.
Eventually, my parents passed. We then had to work together on the estate and guess what, she tried cheating my brother out of his share. Fortunately, the laws of this state are wise to it. It was a glorious moment when the lawyer after listening to her spiel tells her, sorry, by law he gets 1/3. I could see her persona deflate like a popped balloon. It was a glorious moment because just three days earlier we had a bitter argument about what she was trying to do.
That brings us to three days ago. She emailed me a raging message over something so stupid that it should never have been an issue. Basically, she threatened to disown my brother and I if we didn’t stop treating her badly. She even pulled out the, you are so ungodly ploy. All the accusations, lies, and manipulations flew at me. Mind you, the whole issue she was raging about was her own fault. I could prove that too, easily, but what’s the use. She’d deny, deflect, accuse, attack, and gaslight.
I thought, ok, that is perfect. I was now at a point that family interests are met and I can do what I have wanted to do for some time and that is, disconnect from her. That is what I did. I did not get into her game of back and forth, which I am sure is what she wanted. I instead told her, I am done. That she is the most toxic person I have ever met, and that I am cutting all communication with her. Further more, to stay the hell away from me.
Dealing with her these last several years damaged me. Just thought of her puts me into anxiety. Having placed her into a box outside of my immediate world is proving to be healing, liberating, and joyous. And btw. I consider her the most dangerous form of narcissist. She is controlled by demons. I have no doubt about that. With her witchcraft she sold her soul to the devil. I often felt like I was fighting not against my sister, but against demons.
My question in all this is, what causes this. As I stated, she had these tendencies from a very young age. There is a history of mental illness in my family. Is it genetic? Is it demonic? The house we lived in seemed haunted..
If I get my needs met by God, then I won't need to put so much pressure on the "narc".
God often works through people so if I seek out other Godly people and begin paying more attention to healthy relationship models than I am to the problems in ours... Then I'll either inspire a better relationship or create one - with myself - whether gaslighters are in my life or not ;o)
Thank you pretty lady for helping people!
Projection. I never expected anything from others. I freely give to others.
11 min mark just hit me. Thanks
Hi Kris, thanks for your videos, these are really great tips, and these types of incisive direct statements are my natural instinctive responses. The elephant in the room, however, is that while these responses will give pause for thought for self-regulating people, these responses do not always de-escalate comunication interactions with people who habitually engage in gaslighting. Even when delivered calmly and non provocatively, escallation, obfuscation, and outrage often ensue. With difficult relationships that still matter to me, digging deeper into my Christian faith I attempt to limit opportunies for conflict by completely honouring my 'knowing' of when communication is dishonest and unfair (as you have also suggested) - and by restricting my responses, avoiding handing out home truths about their manipulation, but refusing to get hijacked and still clearly stating my case from my side of the fence. I also choose very carefully where and when to initiate any important, potentially difficult, conversation with controlling people.
Oh my goodness! Whoever you're dealing with sounds like they need to go to a psychiatric hospital where they can learn self-control there. If they can't regulate themselves in society, they can learn to do so in a medical setting.
This is really really good! Thank you!
Thanks for helping me . This video helped me a lot spiritually . I am still learn and growing .
Well I no longer care
From now on its me 1st and their not worth my time