Thank you for this. I catch myself having toxic masculine thoughts at times and it irks me. But then I have to remind myself that for like most of my life I was trying to be a girl I wasn’t even if I didn’t know I wasn’t back then. It also doesn’t help that my family will misguided me or take jabs at my masculinity anytime I say or do something that’s not hyper masculine or something.
Thank you for this video ! Sometimes I feel like misogynist words, and jokes, somehow prove that I am (worth) a man. It feels like demeaning femininity could make men see me more as "one of them", which may be true for some men, but still is bullsh*t... I hate those violent thoughts and words. You said we could harm other people, "if they have attributes that [we] hate about [ourselves]", and I relate to that. Before starting thinking about gender and questioning mine, I would often react with rejection, anger, and even hate towards my mother, as I witnessed her way of moving, walking, talking and expressing her feelings. I though everything she was doing was over-feminine. I didn't understand that one could actually enjoy expressing oneself in feminine ways. As a young person I remember going with her to some kind of dancing classes, and after a few minutes I would stop doing anything and then I just sat down in a corner of the room for the rest of the class... because seing her movements as a reflection of my own was unbearable at that time. The only way I found to reduce the discomfort and awkwardness has been convincing myself that I was somehow doing drag (I was trying very hard to be feminine because I was convinced that me being feminine was a necessary condition for me to get love from my parents, my friends or a partner) That was a lot of pressure for very few amusement, I'm glad I nearly stopped blaming myself for not being "feminine enough"
Well said. I don't agree that finally being able to revel in your masculinity is toxic. I think toxic masculinity has to do with demeaning others. Let's all be varied and healthy men and respect the choices of others.
So, what about the women who don't like wearing dresses? Is it toxic masculinity if they prefer wearing something other than dresses? 🤔 I'm honestly blown away to think I'd be considered toxic simply because I don't want to wear a dress.
I can relate. I feel like some people in the LGBTI+ community love when you're all genderqueer and pre-T. Then now I pass some people I think lose interest in dating me. I believe true masculinity can never be toxic. True masculinity is what I strive for. I agree there is a wedge between the androgenous and the trans people who take a medical path and blend in more like I do. People call for 'the end of gender' But I fought so hard to be a man, I don't want that to end.
Thanks, as a nonbinary trans person I have felt uncomfortable bringing this up to male trans friends because they are going through a different struggle. I don't want to disregard what they feel they need to do to be comfortable in their identity, but at the same time sexism is sexism.
How about leave them alone and let them live as they please regardless if its sexist in your opinion. As long as they're not claiming to be better than women or treating women like lesser beings they're fine
You talk about the big difference between masculinity and toxic masculinity. Could you please elaborate on the differences? I would love to see a video about this :)
Doing things that are traditionally masculine and also being man/masculine presenting, and doing things that are traditionally masculine BECAUSE your a man/masculine presenting.
@Smrzgk You're already giving them too much credit than they deserve by implying this is some secret elaborate plot to "make men weak." These idiots couldn't plot their way out of a cardboard box, much less contrive a conspiracy that reasonable people would dismiss outright upon face value anyway.
Thank you for this. I catch myself having toxic masculine thoughts at times and it irks me. But then I have to remind myself that for like most of my life I was trying to be a girl I wasn’t even if I didn’t know I wasn’t back then. It also doesn’t help that my family will misguided me or take jabs at my masculinity anytime I say or do something that’s not hyper masculine or something.
Thank you for this video !
Sometimes I feel like misogynist words, and jokes, somehow prove that I am (worth) a man. It feels like demeaning femininity could make men see me more as "one of them", which may be true for some men, but still is bullsh*t... I hate those violent thoughts and words.
You said we could harm other people, "if they have attributes that [we] hate about [ourselves]", and I relate to that. Before starting thinking about gender and questioning mine, I would often react with rejection, anger, and even hate towards my mother, as I witnessed her way of moving, walking, talking and expressing her feelings. I though everything she was doing was over-feminine. I didn't understand that one could actually enjoy expressing oneself in feminine ways. As a young person I remember going with her to some kind of dancing classes, and after a few minutes I would stop doing anything and then I just sat down in a corner of the room for the rest of the class... because seing her movements as a reflection of my own was unbearable at that time. The only way I found to reduce the discomfort and awkwardness has been convincing myself that I was somehow doing drag (I was trying very hard to be feminine because I was convinced that me being feminine was a necessary condition for me to get love from my parents, my friends or a partner) That was a lot of pressure for very few amusement, I'm glad I nearly stopped blaming myself for not being "feminine enough"
Well said. I don't agree that finally being able to revel in your masculinity is toxic. I think toxic masculinity has to do with demeaning others. Let's all be varied and healthy men and respect the choices of others.
So, what about the women who don't like wearing dresses? Is it toxic masculinity if they prefer wearing something other than dresses? 🤔 I'm honestly blown away to think I'd be considered toxic simply because I don't want to wear a dress.
I can relate. I feel like some people in the LGBTI+ community love when you're all genderqueer and pre-T. Then now I pass some people I think lose interest in dating me. I believe true masculinity can never be toxic. True masculinity is what I strive for.
I agree there is a wedge between the androgenous and the trans people who take a medical path and blend in more like I do. People call for 'the end of gender' But I fought so hard to be a man, I don't want that to end.
Thanks, as a nonbinary trans person I have felt uncomfortable bringing this up to male trans friends because they are going through a different struggle. I don't want to disregard what they feel they need to do to be comfortable in their identity, but at the same time sexism is sexism.
How about leave them alone and let them live as they please regardless if its sexist in your opinion.
As long as they're not claiming to be better than women or treating women like lesser beings they're fine
You talk about the big difference between masculinity and toxic masculinity. Could you please elaborate on the differences? I would love to see a video about this :)
Doing things that are traditionally masculine and also being man/masculine presenting, and doing things that are traditionally masculine BECAUSE your a man/masculine presenting.
You say that as if the differences aren't obvious
No such thing.
@Smrzgk You're already giving them too much credit than they deserve by implying this is some secret elaborate plot to "make men weak." These idiots couldn't plot their way out of a cardboard box, much less contrive a conspiracy that reasonable people would dismiss outright upon face value anyway.