Big thanks to all the interviewees and viewers who watched all the way to the end. The video title was supposed to be "Why Japan's Birthrate is Still Declining (Pt.3)", in case that you were confused at 0:16. This is episode III of the series which talks about Japan's birth rate problem from different angles. So I'd really appreciate it if you could watch the first, second, fourth and the fifth one (the last one) as well to get the whole picture.
Dont you think that the attitude of women contributes? I saw one of your videos where women were asked about if a guy greets them at work, and they said it was sexual harrassment, just to greet. I think that if that is the attitude displayed then it may contribute to lack of interest from guys, who want to preserve their career, to completely ignore women.
Hi Nobita, Population change is normal, it increases and then suddenly declines. This is an evolutionary process in many species (not just mammals). This speeds up evolution itself (which is adaptation of a species to their environment). Now, the western countries and japan (as it is in this sense, part of the West - modern) are in the same cycle since World War 2, and all of these countries are in population decline. If left alone, this would be fine, these populations would go through an evolutionary bottleneck and come out presumably better on the other side. The issue is immigration, which mixes populations and lowers the overall genetic fitness of a country - as opposed to the already adapted population present there. What this means is, Japan will be fine, and better than fine. The population will decline drastically, some services will stop and people will most likely move back to villages, take up other trades. The only thing is, NOT to import foreigners. That will end Japan as a country, race, and people. Same goes for whites, don't import them, even though they are a net positive in financial terms. This is the study on the above process, please read if you have any doubts. jannemiettinen.fi/FourthTurning/
@@yqweqwun7390 Most people in general might feel jealous of that and not just single people. It's not THAT often that you get relationships with that kind of easy connection and playfulness, especially with those in their middle-age or elderly years.
@@yqweqwun7390 I am single my whole life (28 years old, male), and I was so happy seeing them happy that I teared up a bit. It's so refreshing to see they find themselves a good wife and a good husband, generally to see a happy couple for once, because I see only negative examples literally everywhere.
@@yqweqwun7390I'm single and didn't feel jealous of them, it warmed my heart, i enjoyed seeing that. You must have a horrible heart and bad relation with the other sex to think that singles are jealous.
That middle age couple was a breath of fresh air in your interview for these topics - so often do we see couples or people who dont communicate or work together, but these 2 really did a good job!
Yoshio makes an interesting claim. He specifically said that older adults looked after younger singles and tried to help them find partners (11:28). These meddlers helped pair up single people. This kind of matchmaking requires some close-knit community to be in place. From what I heard, Japanese people are not close to their neighbors in cities. This is why some people die in their apartments and not have their bodies discovered for months. Perhaps if there was stronger community ties young singles might welcome meddlers back instead of treating them like nuisances(13:03).
It's nice to see the negative side affects of dating apps acknowledged. We also need to consider the male female ratio is going to be skewed despite only men having to pay to use it. Though maybe there isn't enough awareness and videos like this spread that awareness, so thanks for making this video 😌
No that is a red herring, dating apps have nothing to do with low marriages. It's the change in women's behavior that has lowered rate of mariages. Actually easier access to relations through dating apps can only increase the chance of a good match that leads to mariage. But women have become brainwashed with sex freedom and fem ideas and that sex is just for fun and abortion has only removed responsibilities of engaging in sex. Furthermore fewer women are aspiring to a housewife life which means they don't want mariage. These are the true reason that women no longer seek to get married. They just want to get penetrated for fun and enjoy the ride while earning a salary without responsiblity. Actually women are too picky now because of the media and all the instagram culture showing perfect people. That's the problem, not dating apps. In fact even erotic website as long as it is not porn isn't that bad because for single men who have not been able to get in a relation with a woman over a long time sexual drive can fall to such low level that they no longer chase women but sex website awakens their sexual drive and put them back on the search for a real woman.
The fact they layout all their wants and expectations for marriage ahead of time is really smart. I think all couples dating to find a spouse or life long partner should have such a conversation.
It could have work back then. But not in this information age where people are more educated, expectation are much higher and complex especially from a lady who is born in this era.
Thank you for this valuable insight. As a behavioral psychologist, it is rather fascinating to see these insights on an issue that is also affecting everywhere else in the world.
The decline in dating culture is one of the many downsides of the internet - in the early years one could easily meet nice people but since the masses adopted it it went straight down into the gutter.
There’s still lots of good ppl out there. It’s just ppl have let their worldviews be twisted by the internet. For example, if a woman on twitter sees a tweet some bitter man made about how he hates woman, one woman might take that as “all men think this way” and then start avoiding men in real life. Same way a man might see a woman say, “all men suck” and then make the conclusion that all women hate men. When in reality, most ppl will just take you as u are at face value and won’t distrust you until you’ve given them a reason to. So what happened was, ppl have let the internet twist their worldview instead of just going out and experiencing life for themselves.
I'm glad you are making this series as it resonates with young people around the world. Hopefully bringing awareness to this issue and proposing changes will make all of our lives much less stressful and depressing.
I tried Omiai arranged marriage with a Japanese matchmaker in LA. I did not have a match. I dated many, many people. Agreed, the idea of an ideal partner that takes no work and they are perfect for you does not make much sense. Not logical. Relationships take work. Even the initial spark needs work to find the right conditions, such as putting yourself out there, scheduling a date, planning what to do...
I like the term "meddlers". In Northern England we called them the "interfering aunts" :) Elderly ladies who seemed to know everybody, they'd say things like "do you remember little Susan from school? She's back from university visting her parents. Why don't you give her a phone call?"
your documentaries are much more natural/authentic than what is to found on the net, so do not rely or display these youtubers/experts in relationship/scammers. Keep up the good work pal
This is so interesting! America also has/had "omiai". But it's basically disappeared with the changing times. The rise of technology has certainly had its perks, but it seems it's got quite big downfalls as well..
America doesn't have matchmakers, at least not on the scale of Omiai. Arranged marriage has always been a taboo thing here in America, even before our official founding. There are certain exceptions to this rule (the Mormons come to mind), but those exceptions are always viewed by larger society as kooky and sometimes even evil.
USA never was able to have a sustained birthrate, it has always been bolstered with immigration, form older cultures where actually different types of chaperones have been a normal thing, like Europe and Africa. What USA established as the norm is to delay your first born child or outright abort it, so that you have time to spend that amount of resources, both as mother and father, to further your career and collect that wealth instead in all kinds of pension plans and raise bargaining. The norm there is that unless you forego the most fertile time of your life for a career, you won't get onto a track to get an actual, liveable salary that your labor is worth. Instead your entry-level job is used to finance the OLDER generations, who get the legacy perks after THEIR 30 years as a legionnaire. It's really reflected in dating as well, this ovophagous culture of eating your own young, as women veer towards older and older men, in order to gain more resources faster than their own generation is able to produce under these conditions.
Marriages used to be arranged, basically forced, and for practical reasons. People didn’t marry then for romance and still to this day it’s not easy for people to marry for romance.
Another great video Nobita. In a overall, Japan seems to be facing the same problems Western countries (or the whole world to some extent) is facing but the Japanese population dived into it firstly and went quicker. Now the "lack of family formation'' is likely threatening the existence of Japan as a nation. Also, most likely the solution to Japan will be the model followed by the developed nations, since the reliance on immigration is not something useful in the long run.
Being a man who is nearly 28 and single, I'd like a system like omiai. I think now, like one guy mentioned in the video, people expect to find the absolute best person for them and don't want someone else. In reality, people could easily be satisfied with someone who is 80% compatible with them rather than 99% compatible. That means a lot more than just one person on earth would make a good enough partner to marry. Approaching relationships with that mindset would be a big improvement, I think.
Is that really what the issue is? In my early 20s, men would approach me in places stores to talk, and ask me out. No one has asked me on a date in years (I'm 33 now). I don't know if it's because I'm older now or if it's because people simply don't want to interact outside of dating apps. I don't use them.
@a.s.1737 Personally, I haven't asked out a girl without knowing her for a while first because I'm shy and have social anxiety around that specifically. I asked my sister (average 24 year-old blonde) about asking out a girl who's just out somewhere, and she said no guy has ever approached her like that. I think it's largely guys not wanting to be seen as creepy. As for dating apps, I tried Bumble for 2 or 3 months, got a handful of matches, no messages, and I'm just going to find someone in person.
What is the merit of marrying a guy for a woman in Japan if he doesn't earn well? Most of the time, her home duties will be doubled, and she won't be supported mentally either. Those single men never say what they have to offer in a relationship. Moreover, they not searching for girls on their level, they search for young, beautiful ones and feel offended when they are rejected.
@@ThaFuzzwood what else u want besides free bangmaid? As usual, nem are very useful 🤡, btw, just be àloñe forever. Nobody will force u to get married 🤡
I'll admit I generally enjoyed being married, but I certainly did NOT enjoy divorce, particularly its financial aftermath. Divorce is so costly that it more than offsets any advantages of marriage. It's pure chance whether your spouse changes for the worse over time, and my ex wife radically changed over the 15 years we were together. Unless you don't mind the huge financial hit, don't risk it fellas!
From the sound of it, I assume you didn't set up your marriage to plan for failure by draft a solid prenup. I don't know where you live and don't know the laws in your jurisdiction, but that could have helped you a lot.
@@OverTheVoids I didn't have a solid prenup, but I'm not sure how much it would have mattered. They seem easier to break now, plus judges seem more likely to disregard them in longer marriages. From what I've seen, they work best for marriages that fail in the first few years. When you get together as a young couple and neither party has much to lose in the beginning, the spouse can claim that pretty much everything should be included in joint assets.
@@OverTheVoidsactually what is the use of male partners? Most of them dont cook, clean, take care of kids etc yet expecting wimen to be free bangmaid and sugar mummy🤡
No, I was a monster in every way, devoid of even the faintest trace of humanity or compassion. So irredeemably evil that drug lords, tinpot dictators, and used car salesmen trembled uncontrollably in my presence. @@whatfor1637
This issue is not Japanese exclusive, the same thing happened in all western counties. But none the less, this is a very important video. Great video Nobita. It's time people from all over the world realise the truth about the cost of freedom in the dating/marriage market.
Future looks bad for Japan. You should do what Norway does. 37,5 hours working time per week BY LAW! Strong unions in Japan. Give the mother 1 year maternity leave and father 3 months leave when they have a baby.
I think that’s the problem not only in Japan but worldwide. Having kids shouldn’t be about more workers. Instead more people should be hired and it should have better working conditions/life balance. Kids should come naturally; nothing good happens when things like having kids for work only or business being pushed like that. It snaps society like a rubber band. Society mindset needs to be changed. People should be treated as people not assets.
The problem is the floating currency reserve bank system and the non sustaining economy. Around 1996 we were told in the higest education institutions in the world that in 20-25 years time automation and the digital technology meant people would have to work much less and would have probably 3/4 of their awake time for leisure and hobbies. This was a serious prediction at the time but it failed to account for the natural corruption and greed of the minority rich especially those parasite rich who skim the society and do little work. It''s because of them that nothing has changed even though it would be possible to live in a society as described. It's not happening because those who produce valuable items such as farmers, artisans, and skilled people are getting ripped off by parasites middle men and banks that whole part of society that speculates on money, that produces nothing but owns most of the wealth.
A major problem is 'female expectations'...a very tall (6'6"), Black American female judge concentrated of studies during college and then a full caseload right afterward; her dating requirements after becoming a law firm senior partner (not judge yet) for any guy was a law degree, stable job in a good law firm and at least 6'9" tall! Years later and no dates, she started looking for men with ANY degree, gainfully employed and at least 6'6" tall... Later her requirements fell to a man with any professional training, gainfully employed and at least 6'0". She wound up later, past child-bearing age, married to a man who was a general contractor, no degree and around 5'6" tall...who made her laugh!
Even though I'm not Japanese, I love the culture and I worry when I think about the rapidly declining population. It pains me to think that somewhere so vibrant and full of life might be almost wiped out in a few generation simply by virtue of people hesitating to have children.
I understand your worry, but I have to remind you that there are more than 120 000 000 Japanese people living at the moment and even if in some decades that would be halfed they would still be about 60 000 000, which is more than South Koreans today (about 54 million) or Finnish people (about 5,5 million) or Estonian people (about 1 million). We do exist, we have our own cultures and languages even if we are this few. So Japanese people and their culture won't be wiped out in a very long time, there will just be less people and more space in certain areas of Japan.
Japan culture and people will be fine. This idea that populations just endlessly decline to nothing is ridiculous. Populations go through ups and downs overtime. There could easily be another babyboom in Japan in the next few decades. At the moment many European countries have a lower birthrate than Japan has but nobody seems too concerned about them. I stay in Japan and there are plenty of kids and families here. Dating here is also super easy. The annoying part is I can't seem to date a Japanese girl for longer than a month without her wanting to get married and starts talking about what our baby would look like. But its a problem I can live with :)
@@extremepsyche3135 True I don't know why they keep mentioning Japan but completely ignore places like Italy which also have low or lower birthrates than Japan.
@@jw841 Do you use dating apps or how do you meet people? Just beause in North Europe where I live, people mostly use dating apps for something light, not for finding serious relationships. So is it different in Japan?
Can confirm that having PATIENCE isn’t a thing in the majority of ppl’s minds. When I told ppl and ex’s including that true love marriage has to have lots of patience most either think I’m crazy or a bad person that tries to make women suffer. Because to them patience is a very negative thing and if a relationship has to have patience then it’s bad. I was taught this by my great grandfather and parents so those who don’t consider me things I mentioned above just say that I’m old fashioned. As for the 20% of good looking high salary men,.. well if women want that and are ready to sleep with them even if these men are married or in relationship, then it reminds me of polygamy but at least in polygamy he would have to take care of them all while now it’s "just sex”
Patience... Or simply accepting that you don't like the other person and staying together because it's your "duty" and you're completely hopeless without the other (one isn't earning an income, the other never learned how to take care of himself). I believe there's a reason why so called "boomer humor" is known for involving depreciating jokes about their partner.
I mean, many human civilization in past history (before Abrahamic religions became the standard) had polygamy is their main marital structure. The only reason why people might have had patience in monogamous marital societies is because they didn't have a choice in the matter.
@@krashme997 Besides, what you call boomer humour isn’t a thing for all the "boomers" right? Or am I wrong? Cuz then we can point at every generation humour and will we have a better result?
@@OverTheVoids but Abrahamic religion had polygamy. Are you implying that if your partner A is being irrational then you can go to partner B for tonight? I’m sure I got wrong assumption about your comment, please tell me more what it was about.
@@SparkCroft21 Rather than "for boomers", it is rather made by boomers. Yep, if we can find common themes for a certain generation's humor, I believe it can tell us a lot about said generation.
when you see old marriage arranges, you could get the impression that it had a function and purpose regarding the social structure, and it would ensure safety and security for the participants of concerning group. A swift divorce wasnt an option at those times. In my understanding of the definition of "progressive" i wouldnt say interchanging those valuable benefits with temporary love which vanishs over time would be appropriated using here. The fact that marriage was forced, also enforced responsibility, and the old system provided defitnely a more clearer vision for ones role and future. Times changes, but i wished people would stop talking shit about how bad something was in the past, when the current modern system often fails, and lost it main purpose anyways.
Japan adopted the capitalist society and online dating app culture, but did not upgrade the social norms. Old social norms in work and private life are still followed hence only the top 20% get the girls. This problem is not seen in India or many western countries even though their birth rate also declining, but Japan is SOCIALLY. IMPLODING in every sense from work to private life to making friends to having relationships or having children!!!!!!
If we're talking the US, it's more like the top 5% of men And don't worry, this is most likely your future as well in India, you're just getting a preview of it 20 years early
I like their terminology, "non-forced arranged marriage". I'm pretty sure that this institution is gonna be the future of humanity in next few upcoming decades. What's wrong if our own parents/experienced people from our community arrange the dates, instead of a profit making making corporate company?
I agree with most points brought up in this video, but that last take is utter nonsense. The idea that declining birth rate is inevitable in any civilized and cultured society. It's only been happening in recent history, and only in certain parts of the world. In most civilizations in most of history, population kept going up. What would you call them then? Uncivilized and uncultured societies? This is a cultural issue, and there are countless other cultures in the world that don't have this problem. We, humanity, need to study each other's cultures properly to find solutions to this kind of problems. There are more cultures in the world than just "Japan" and "The west".
i understand the doom mentality that most people get from these videos (love this series btw), but we have to have some kind of optimism. even if it's naive, we can only hope for the best.
On your next videos I hope you'll answer the following questions: 1. How does Japanese work culture influence the birth rate? 2. How much does it cost to maintain a family and is working at an average wage job enough? 3. How easy/hard it is to raise and educate a child? How about the costs? I think the problem is largely economical, not societal. Just try to compare the previous generation's (boomers) economic climate and the resulting population explosion compared to this generation's.
Hopefully he sees this and takes it into consideration. But I do think it is interconnected, the economic climate created the current work culture that further exacerbated the problem. Furthermore from my understanding Japan's population is centralized in Tokyo, creating unhealthy competition that worsens the already low morale of workers. But this is just a layman understanding from an observer.
If the problem was economical, poor countries would have less children, but they have more. As far as working a lot, people in the past worked their asses off in the field and somehow found time to have lots of kids. Something else changed. I know what it is. Let's see if you can figure it out.
@@734ch3r Just sending this message hoping being notified by TH-cam. Looking forward for the answer (I have my own opinion on it tho, just wanna hear your thought).
@@animedgames8107 the answer is women's rights and freedoms. Now they can vote and demand quotas, protection and money from the government (taken away by force from men, by the way), so they don't have to get married or have children anymore. So what do they do? Have fun with the alphas and bad boys in their youth, then demand nice guys to pick up the pieces later. No thank you.
The economic problem is mostly time, if people are busy with work they don't have time for kids and daycare is expensive. Money is a problem in Tokyo as the living and housing costs are high, in the countryside it is the opposite, though prestigious jobs are basically non-existent. Attitude is the main issue, housing isn't expensive if parents live with kids or people share rooms, people can live on a lot less than they want, companies can have people working from home and not everyone should be working for a corporation, a country requires a diverse workforce, Japan has enough resource problems without running out of farmers. The material wealth on tv is an advert not reality, for this reason many in Tokyo end up in sex work to living in the big city and pretend they are living the high life. Japan desperately needs to deurbanise and dewesternise, most of these materialist values come from the west and are causing chaos in western society despite it being much more resistant to individualist extremism due to the individual emphasis of traditional (e.g. Christian) western morality.
I think its not only modern technology but also the economy. Many people my age in Germany wanted to marry and have kids, but even with both parties having jobs and trying to make ends meet, they didn't have enough to offer a child a good life, especially since one of them would have to take care of the child and have decreased income for at least a while. During the baby boomer time, a man with a stable 'salary man' job could feed his housewife and 1-2 children at least. Now thats impossible unless the man is really one of the few top earners. Also many young people say "I don't want to put children in this world with no good future prospects" :/
Germany sucks and most people there will never get above lower middle-class, even if you have a good job. The taxes are too high, cost of living keeps going up and the red tape is insane. My brother worked as a engineer at Siemens for 10 years but always struggled financially there. The government took half of everything through taxes and there are alot of stealth taxes there as well. He finally saw the light and moved to the States and made an absolute fortune there. His medical insurance only makes up a tiny fraction of his earnings and pays very little income tax. If he stayed in Germany he would have stayed relatively poor as a tax slave but now he is a wealthy man.
@@jw841I agree that Germany punishes in a way single men and women. Taking a very big cut out of your salary as Tax. I live in a EU country near Germany(at least by plane) and we don't get taxed if we are Single but thing is if we are single we are most likely either living alone or with parents.
Feminism drives men and women appart. This cancer is destroying the will of society to reproduce. People in their 20-ties should be planning their family. 30 is already the end of fertility window for females and men dont want to marry 30 years old used cars. Cancer.
they still have to worry about extinction though. The thing is, less people would lead to less tax money and would then lead to higher tax rate. Higher tax rate then leads to more stressful life and thus lower birthrate. This would then become a vicious cycle that's very hard to break. One way is to welcome outside blood to intermarry, but this would destroy their culture even more than the internet is already doing.
@@re0798 then in the end, isn't this the government's fault? you even said it yourself, "Higher tax rate then leads to more stressful life and thus lower birthrate". maybe if they lower the tax or at least use it to help their citizens, they wouldn't be in this mess
@@Dave_of_Mordor my cousin is a symptom to why people are putting off marriage..the girl he married was someone he knew ever since they were kids, but sad to say they were divorced less than a year.
@@Dave_of_Mordor here's the thing, the country risks going into bankruptcy, japan is a first world country and is very expensive to run. This don't even count the corruption occurring nor does it consider the debt japan has. Also the tax does help the citizen, they have really good healthcare system there, a well integrated railway system so on and so forth. Suddenly lowering the tax risks putting those benefits down, which is jumping out of the frying pan into the fire itself.
Modern dating and changing values are changing relationships. Being a virgin is not appreciated and waiting till marriage is not a big deal. Women keep picking only top 10 percent of percent of men thanks to dating apps. The other men get nothing or leftovers. Men then check out of the dating world leaving women dating and sleeping from the same small pool of men. This modern system is proving to not be sustainable.
It's interesting, i'm not knowledgeable in japanese culture ans never heard of Omiai before, i fing the concept really good, useful and healthy for the individuals mental health but i totally disagree on the pressure and dismiss of toxic relationships expressed by some of the interviewed but i guess it's just cultural gap and there isn't much arguing on that
I thought that too when watching it (and agree it might be my Western perspective), as whether happiness means a marriage and children or not to people wasn't really explored. Especially in the older generations (such as the woman that said being married makes life easier for a woman) - that life definitely is not easier if it is toxic or abusive. Financially and in overall stability, perhaps for some, but that is quite subjective. A fascinating video, thank you Nobita!
@@yutai08 It objectively does, tho. Women without children are universally miserable past 40. Not everyone who marries with children is happy, but nigh everyone who doesn't *is*. And when you get past age 40, you still have half your life to go, and you will spend it wallowing alone. That's not a 'cultural' thing.
@@Arcessitor Funny how you want to use the word "objectively" for you subjective point of view on the situation. Also, the fact that you said that women past 40 are "universally" miserable without kids completely and entirely undermines you entire argument and any future argument you would try to make on this matter. Reality is nowhere near as simplistic as you apparently want it to be. There are those who fit you description and those who don't, and there are those that shift from one side to the other (happy to miserably or vice versa).
Thanks JapaneseReporter. As really I as Non Japanese but Muslim found a lot of our teachings in Japanese way of life, and just like how it is cultural here where I am from. I do agree income is important but it's much more important to find a good spouse who you'll spend rest of your life with. Idk this isn't just Japanese problem but modern day problem because of the rise of dating apps. Even as someone who is born at the end of 90s it is still apparent to me. I guess I am more into old style of meeting I guess haha
The other thing that I think isn't taken into account with technology is the fact of so many options that women have now compared to when arranged marriages were prevalent. The ridiculous numerous options that women have now compared to then, has made it to where they don't feel a need to work on those relationships because they've got so many options waiting on them. Where as only a small portion of men have those options. I'm really interested to see how all of this plays out for Japan and America in the future. Good video Nobita.
Omiai (introductions with a choice) is actually an effective way to find a spouse, especially if the matchmaker happens to be extended family or long-time friend. Social filtering is already done by the relative so there's much less social anxiety amongst the women, but at the cost of pushy parents, and the fear that there's no spark of attraction. However attraction can be developed over time, especially if the guy has 'game'. Of course some people are naturally attractive and that makes attraction easy. People underestimate just how much passion one can ignite with a spark of attraction, in an Omiai. It's like an exclusive, pre-approved dating.
The main problem with Omiai is because of Japan's strong culture of conformity, many people choose to marry spouses they don't like, aren't compatible with, or are outright abusive simply to please their parents, because they feel immense social pressure to not say no to them. This was actually demonstrated in a rather infamous video on this channel. That video, the one about adultery, featured an adulteress who clearly didn't love her husband and only married him because it was arranged by her parents and she felt pressured to do so.
Now that we have more freedom, I think the majority of men and the VAST majority of women feel happier with the social weight off of their shoulders. The men in this video seem like a minority (desperate to hook up- perhaps they should put more energy into their careers or self improvement to garner better results in the current dating market).
I kinda agree with this. As a woman, I see most healthy men and women around me aren’t in a rush to get married. And they’re much happier for it. It’s just weird to me how ppl try to shame ppl who are just taking their time and who aren’t just running into marriage bc their desperate or bc of social pressure.
The Japanese man is not clinging to mother. That's history. They meet & enjoy many get together dates just for coffee or go with a group. They arenot in a hurry to start a family. They want to have fun first. Experience young life in their 20's even 30's before committment. Omiaii is not popular anymore. Individualism is important.
After the first few minutes I heard Nobita-san see that it's difficult to believe for westerners. That may be true. But honestly this sort of thing used to happen in the west as well. Go back a few years and ther are more similarities. Marriage of households or for survival was more than norm than anything else. Performing a role more as a duty than out of love or anything. 🤔
I feel like you have to go back a few decades rather than just years to see the normality of this. the 70s was a major turn with the sexual revolution and hippie culture, and eventually divorce became more socially acceptable. The age of the internet helped fuel people higher standards and abilities to focus on other things besides family, and it completely diversified the culture of society to make subcultures of people who are more unique which maybe leads to a lot more conflicting personalities and desires.
I don't understand why Japan and other country didn't focus on robots and artificial intelligence to "free" people. Then, birthrate should increase. But Capitalism don't like this ethics view, I think. Your view on Internet and apps is right, imo!
Yeah but it looks like that's what people desire. Who are we to tell them to do something else. People like quick s*x and j*rking off. Women seem to only be going for high level men and a majority of men would rather stay home and m*sturb*te because they have no motivation to chase and are lazy. If you speak out against this, you're quickly shut down, so it goes to show that this is what people want.
This episode is really good, history and modern techniques clash. It's nice that the east wants to pick up on western models in the way of dating, the only issue is that, the in west the "dating format" actually doesn't work. Furthermore its harder on the men than woman as you can see at the end of the video. You've already realized that the 20% of men are dating all the women. We are just figuring that out now. Mixing and mingling is very common so you can keep a culture alive in the west. But for countries in the east that have a completely different mindset in society, like Japan you'll get hit harder because an entire culture is at risk of going extinct. Small towns will turn into ghost towns. It is true that things are changing there and its not hard to see with the young people, but trying to meet a western format (regardless of if it works or not) with eastern society mindset will never work. It will only create more and more problems. It's only "doable" here because of the way our society thinks of work, dating, family etc.. Just the way of interacting alone is completely different. If mindset of work & family don't change then the issue will never be resolved. If i'm not mistaken the work structure alone could solve a lot of problems. I see that the most common in the comments of channels. Keep up the hard work on the vids I am appreciate them!
has nothing to do with Asian society. the real problem is capitalism over "religion/spirituality/social" as long as you have a culture where value is making money and profit, everything that doesn't maximize THIS, will fall apart. there is no problem with the 20% getting all the girls. ( only for people not in the 20% lol ) also no problem in society getting to 10 Million people rather than 100 you're not seeing the greater picture sadly, HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH "WESTERN value". there is no "western mindset" there is capitalism value or there isn't. you cannot have your cake and eat it too. tinder, onlyfan, porn, is all the result of capitalism, because ethics is out of the windows when the goal of every society turn to "growth" and maximizing profits. your sacrifice is for the great productivity machine, we hope you enjoy, but keep blaming invisible values instead of the real guilty. it would be too awful to point at capitalism, the real root of all the problems in our current society. I just want to remind you that all western society were based on family and tradition until the modern era, so please get a better understanding of the world and evolution of the structure of society. technology and capitalism is your problem, breaking family is not a consequence of western value, but a consequence of technology. unless you accuse the western value to be internet. if you want tradition, you also have to suppress internet, it cannot be one or the other.
This is a problem not unique to Japan but Japan is ahead in many things (good and bad) even in Colombia having many kids was the norm until the 40's 50's (I have 8 uncles and aunts) but they had only 1 or two children between the 80's and 90's
Just keep in mind, adult is what describes us, but in reality everything and I mean everything and every action we take has a childish aspect to it, we like it or not.
The modern western method of dating has caused so many problems. Just like in Japan, the west is having lower birth rates and increasing virgins and single people than ever before. I do agree that one should take their time getting to know someone before deciding if you want to spend the rest of your life with them, but I do not agree with the idea of looking for 'the one'. That sort of tactic will only lead to loneliness. Apps make it worse because with so many people using them, people tend to think there are plenty of options so they'll eventually find 'the one'. The idea of there being 'the one' is ridiculous. Rather than looking for 'the one', people should look for someone they're compatible with. There are billions of people on the planet so there's bound to be a good number of people who will be compatible with you. But so many people seek perfection and look where that's brought us.
The Japanese Male Company Man is often so handsome ~ and he must be very dedicated to his work ~ Equally a wife will need to be much the same ~ so they help each other survive the pressures of company life but live for love & romance ~ chemistry it's all chemistry ~ the chemistry between them ~ first chemistry of love ~ long te dating ~ traveling together ~ marriage will happen if it is supposed to £
This just aren’t the same as it used to be. For the dad complaining about his son, I’d ask, how were things back in the day. We’re prices for things better? Were women as workaholic as they are now?
Omiai is pretty goated, don't need to worry about finding then asking someone out first and suffering psychologically if the rejection is harsh or if you think they're "the one"
the birthrate decline is not an issue of japan, but every country. And the birthrate actually doesnt decline, its the childless mothers that went up, those who are a mother are still at the same distribution of births with 2.5 per mother. I repeat: its the childless woman who drag down the total average woman birthrate. As a German I can say I won't get married and maybe only children once Im rich. I have seen my mother and marriage screwing over my father. Woman select through sex, men through resources, in no country rn men are allowed to use their selection, they have to pay child support. And they have to pay taxes + inflation to woman who get money for free from the state for children. Taking away natural selection from 1 gender leads to extinction. We are heading towards that rn.
and online dating is a consequence of capitalism having created maximimazing profit technology. if we had date app without pictures and that were based on ethics it could work ( but with this capitalistic economy it will never be the case )
Is population decrease really the worst thing in the world? Japan is very crowded, and there are more important things than the GDP and old people. The people who think we need to bring in millions of immigrants to keep the GDP growing in Japan are absolutely insane
Strictly speaking, it's only around the Kanto region (and Kansai too, I guess?) that is overly crowded. The population not being evenly spread out and Tokyo being the hotspot for a good future is also an issue... Many smaller towns have been losing it's population to metropolitan areas like Tokyo
@@keeganmcfarland7507 Gross domestic product (GDP) is the standard measure of the value added created through the production of goods and services in a country during a certain period. As such, it also measures the income earned from that production, or the total amount spent on final goods and services (less imports)
I didn't know Omiai was common in the past. I thought it was just a relatively recent and relatively unpopular practice that arose as a response to Westernization.
what japan needs to do is roll back all welfare programs it has and have the japanese people depend on each othere rather than the goverment change zoning laws so building houses is cheaper like texa's and have a flat tax rate rich and poor only pay 10 percent of their income in taxes
Some thoughts; I think, "Omiai", should be interpreted as "formal introduction", not as, 'arranged marriage'. "If you don't think you will marry him, starting as friend, wil be a wast of time" Wow, that's effectively telling her, she shouldn't have male friends. Perhaps the parents were intending to avoid any embarrassing male-female friendships, that may have been socially unacceptable then. But really, it would (at least initially) have been a benefit to have connections with others, with opportunities (from finding better partner options, to employment). Social stigma, I think, has cost, many people, many lost opportunities. "I was told that marriage is a beginning, Anyone can be compatible with compromise" - That's a beautiful quote. and instead of "my dad, got married.....", I think it would have been better to use, "My parents married after Omiai introduction." Again, another well presented expose of a social issue, likely to have serious implications for Japan's, and it's citizen's, future.
About the second quote I think it makes sense to say that because when I just go up to someone and say "hi", I'm expecting to become friends and maybe something more if we're really compatible. But when I use a pickup line or ask for her number or just straight up ask her out, it's clear that I don't want to start with a friendship, I want to get to know them with a romantic relationship in mind. Think about it, imagine you're her and I came up and asked to take you out to dinner, and you said "Oh maybe we should go but just as friends" If that person wants a friendship when I came up to them to ask for a relationship, then that is wasting my time. Of course, all of this is just my opinion and perspective and everyone is different.
🥰 i always liked you, Mr Nobita, but now i can add Mr Akira to my cute&gorgeous-japanese-men list (pls pass the sentiment)... Keep doing what you are doing, Mr Nobita, Thank You 🍓 p.s. it was funny and reminiscent to see a piece of an old video of yours from the early days (virgin sign on the street) 🥝
I'm off the believe that Marriage and Woman in that sence transform a Man into a Man, not a well paid job. But the effection you have for the person lets you work harder and possibilitys blossom. Love or Arranged makes no big difference in that. But certinaly Arranged once make the whole process easier it also can Develop love out of it. I think you talked about it once. "If people have affection for ea. other. They start to develop a taste for distinct Face features of the person. Even if in a general sense those features meight be concidered unattractive." I think that is a good indicater of how Arranged can turn into Love. So i think it actually makes more sense how it used to be.
I would have loved a non-forced matchmaker bringing a wife to me when i was young maybe going through the process a few time to find the right one. I was never a popular young man and knew that from an early age and it never improved. I had to actively search and court women really persistently to get a first decent girlfriend (i never settled for ugly women) . I have seen many unpopular men settling for the least attractive woman, i never accepted that, i have my self respect and pride and have always thought many women under valued me. Everybody has seen couples were both the man and woman are very unattractive and they marry for what ? For sex ? I find those couple suspicious and repulsive, i don't think they should make children. Because of that i highly support a matchmaker system, that would really help people who are not attractive but aren't unattractive. I think that would help women decide more easily. These days women have completely lost their mind with high standards because of movies and medias and they refuse men that are even too good for them.
Well... 90% of those patience, sacrifices and understanding were expected from women. Since more and more women stop buying this crap the system don't work. What a surprise. Yes the same all over the world. Honestly those guys whining about women not choosing them could not survive having a family. They are better off without one.
Some terrible things about arranged marriages is that if one does not understand what they want , due to naivety of young age, or they are being married off to an older person, or just not in love, or was sold a fantasy about what marriage is, or doesn’t want kids it will end miserably
That's where the elders come in...they've got the knowledge and ability to foresee those things. Also parents raised their children accordingly I guess.
@@idongesitx1873 child marriage? And yes, the adults has to have to be genuine people (of course). But in every scenario there are certain risks involved.
I'm aware that I'm oversimplifying and I don't assume I can comprehend the whole problem let alone solve it. But after I've seen a lot of videos about the topic of dramatically droping birth rates, most prominently yours, I came to think that Japan should raise paid vacation to at least 20 days a year, make taking that vacation mandatory (in the same way companies have to monitor body weight or be fined), ban unpaid overwork, including company drinking in total and give each parent at least half a year paid maternal/paternal leave (more for the second and third child).
Economics means that isn't a solution, the cost will come from somewhere else, banning women working, reforming education (or just getting rid of state funded education), getting rid of welfare and pensions, banning contraceptives and shooting western lobbying people out of the country with a cannon would probably be a lot better. Moving money around has been tried in Europe, hilariously only the gypsies started a permanent trend of higher birth rates as a result, probably because they were the only group for whom money was actually a limit on children rather than motivation and circumstances.
Big thanks to all the interviewees and viewers who watched all the way to the end. The video title was supposed to be "Why Japan's Birthrate is Still Declining (Pt.3)", in case that you were confused at 0:16. This is episode III of the series which talks about Japan's birth rate problem from different angles. So I'd really appreciate it if you could watch the first, second, fourth and the fifth one (the last one) as well to get the whole picture.
Thank you Professor Nobita. This is one of the most enlightening videos I have ever seen that explains the social dynamics in Japan.
Dont you think that the attitude of women contributes?
I saw one of your videos where women were asked about if a guy greets them at work, and they said it was sexual harrassment, just to greet.
I think that if that is the attitude displayed then it may contribute to lack of interest from guys, who want to preserve their career, to completely ignore women.
Hi Nobita,
Population change is normal, it increases and then suddenly declines. This is an evolutionary process in many species (not just mammals). This speeds up evolution itself (which is adaptation of a species to their environment). Now, the western countries and japan (as it is in this sense, part of the West - modern) are in the same cycle since World War 2, and all of these countries are in population decline.
If left alone, this would be fine, these populations would go through an evolutionary bottleneck and come out presumably better on the other side. The issue is immigration, which mixes populations and lowers the overall genetic fitness of a country - as opposed to the already adapted population present there.
What this means is, Japan will be fine, and better than fine. The population will decline drastically, some services will stop and people will most likely move back to villages, take up other trades.
The only thing is, NOT to import foreigners. That will end Japan as a country, race, and people. Same goes for whites, don't import them, even though they are a net positive in financial terms.
This is the study on the above process, please read if you have any doubts.
jannemiettinen.fi/FourthTurning/
I think I already did watch all of those! Your research is great and your videos are as well, Nobita! Good evening!
日本人が愛する人と結婚できることを嬉しく思います。 しかし、私は西側諸国が日本を占領し、貿易を管理しているので、日本人は米軍基地を追い出し、日本人になりたいアジア人を日本に入国させ、他のアジア諸国への移民を許可し、他のアジア諸国とのより大きな貿易を行うべきだと思います。 それは第二次世界大戦が始まる前の与正仁天皇の計画でしたが、西洋の侵略によって阻止されました。 のび太さん、ありがとう。
That was very kind of the wife to jump in and let her husband know he did a great job as a husband and father.
@@yqweqwun7390 Most people in general might feel jealous of that and not just single people. It's not THAT often that you get relationships with that kind of easy connection and playfulness, especially with those in their middle-age or elderly years.
@@yqweqwun7390 I am single my whole life (28 years old, male), and I was so happy seeing them happy that I teared up a bit. It's so refreshing to see they find themselves a good wife and a good husband, generally to see a happy couple for once, because I see only negative examples literally everywhere.
@@yqweqwun7390I'm single and didn't feel jealous of them, it warmed my heart, i enjoyed seeing that. You must have a horrible heart and bad relation with the other sex to think that singles are jealous.
That middle age couple was a breath of fresh air in your interview for these topics - so often do we see couples or people who dont communicate or work together, but these 2 really did a good job!
You could honestly felt the positive energy from them as if they really can understand each other.
Yoshio makes an interesting claim. He specifically said that older adults looked after younger singles and tried to help them find partners (11:28). These meddlers helped pair up single people. This kind of matchmaking requires some close-knit community to be in place. From what I heard, Japanese people are not close to their neighbors in cities. This is why some people die in their apartments and not have their bodies discovered for months. Perhaps if there was stronger community ties young singles might welcome meddlers back instead of treating them like nuisances(13:03).
Very good point!
It’s not just the neighbors. Japanese children and their parents are usually very disconnected from each other.
country side is doing better than the cities thanks to the tight knit community
It's nice to see the negative side affects of dating apps acknowledged. We also need to consider the male female ratio is going to be skewed despite only men having to pay to use it. Though maybe there isn't enough awareness and videos like this spread that awareness, so thanks for making this video 😌
No that is a red herring, dating apps have nothing to do with low marriages. It's the change in women's behavior that has lowered rate of mariages. Actually easier access to relations through dating apps can only increase the chance of a good match that leads to mariage. But women have become brainwashed with sex freedom and fem ideas and that sex is just for fun and abortion has only removed responsibilities of engaging in sex. Furthermore fewer women are aspiring to a housewife life which means they don't want mariage. These are the true reason that women no longer seek to get married. They just want to get penetrated for fun and enjoy the ride while earning a salary without responsiblity. Actually women are too picky now because of the media and all the instagram culture showing perfect people. That's the problem, not dating apps.
In fact even erotic website as long as it is not porn isn't that bad because for single men who have not been able to get in a relation with a woman over a long time sexual drive can fall to such low level that they no longer chase women but sex website awakens their sexual drive and put them back on the search for a real woman.
Nobita is really gifted and he finds such insightful people to share perspectives. It's incredibly refreshing!
The fact they layout all their wants and expectations for marriage ahead of time is really smart. I think all couples dating to find a spouse or life long partner should have such a conversation.
That's ok until they start coming up with the impossible list like most women do, these days.
It could have work back then. But not in this information age where people are more educated, expectation are much higher and complex especially from a lady who is born in this era.
Nobita-san -- I always tell people you're the best journalist in Japan. Keep it up.
Thank you for this valuable insight. As a behavioral psychologist, it is rather fascinating to see these insights on an issue that is also affecting everywhere else in the world.
The decline in dating culture is one of the many downsides of the internet - in the early years one could easily meet nice people but since the masses adopted it it went straight down into the gutter.
Japanese dont care🤡. They mostly use it for hook up only🤡
There’s still lots of good ppl out there. It’s just ppl have let their worldviews be twisted by the internet. For example, if a woman on twitter sees a tweet some bitter man made about how he hates woman, one woman might take that as “all men think this way” and then start avoiding men in real life. Same way a man might see a woman say, “all men suck” and then make the conclusion that all women hate men. When in reality, most ppl will just take you as u are at face value and won’t distrust you until you’ve given them a reason to.
So what happened was, ppl have let the internet twist their worldview instead of just going out and experiencing life for themselves.
I'm glad you are making this series as it resonates with young people around the world.
Hopefully bringing awareness to this issue and proposing changes will make all of our lives much less stressful and depressing.
I tried Omiai arranged marriage with a Japanese matchmaker in LA. I did not have a match. I dated many, many people. Agreed, the idea of an ideal partner that takes no work and they are perfect for you does not make much sense. Not logical. Relationships take work. Even the initial spark needs work to find the right conditions, such as putting yourself out there, scheduling a date, planning what to do...
I like the term "meddlers". In Northern England we called them the "interfering aunts" :) Elderly ladies who seemed to know everybody, they'd say things like "do you remember little Susan from school? She's back from university visting her parents. Why don't you give her a phone call?"
your documentaries are much more natural/authentic than what is to found on the net, so do not rely or display these youtubers/experts in relationship/scammers. Keep up the good work pal
This is so interesting! America also has/had "omiai". But it's basically disappeared with the changing times.
The rise of technology has certainly had its perks, but it seems it's got quite big downfalls as well..
America doesn't have matchmakers, at least not on the scale of Omiai. Arranged marriage has always been a taboo thing here in America, even before our official founding. There are certain exceptions to this rule (the Mormons come to mind), but those exceptions are always viewed by larger society as kooky and sometimes even evil.
@@danagray9709 jews.
USA never was able to have a sustained birthrate, it has always been bolstered with immigration, form older cultures where actually different types of chaperones have been a normal thing, like Europe and Africa.
What USA established as the norm is to delay your first born child or outright abort it, so that you have time to spend that amount of resources, both as mother and father, to further your career and collect that wealth instead in all kinds of pension plans and raise bargaining.
The norm there is that unless you forego the most fertile time of your life for a career, you won't get onto a track to get an actual, liveable salary that your labor is worth. Instead your entry-level job is used to finance the OLDER generations, who get the legacy perks after THEIR 30 years as a legionnaire.
It's really reflected in dating as well, this ovophagous culture of eating your own young, as women veer towards older and older men, in order to gain more resources faster than their own generation is able to produce under these conditions.
14:10 In Japan it's top 20% in America women go for the top 1% of men, on and off of dating apps. The "Why it got harder" section was great.
Marriages used to be arranged, basically forced, and for practical reasons. People didn’t marry then for romance and still to this day it’s not easy for people to marry for romance.
This is now not only a Japan issue but it is a World issue
Another great video Nobita. In a overall, Japan seems to be facing the same problems Western countries (or the whole world to some extent) is facing but the Japanese population dived into it firstly and went quicker. Now the "lack of family formation'' is likely threatening the existence of Japan as a nation. Also, most likely the solution to Japan will be the model followed by the developed nations, since the reliance on immigration is not something useful in the long run.
Being a man who is nearly 28 and single, I'd like a system like omiai. I think now, like one guy mentioned in the video, people expect to find the absolute best person for them and don't want someone else. In reality, people could easily be satisfied with someone who is 80% compatible with them rather than 99% compatible. That means a lot more than just one person on earth would make a good enough partner to marry. Approaching relationships with that mindset would be a big improvement, I think.
Is that really what the issue is? In my early 20s, men would approach me in places stores to talk, and ask me out. No one has asked me on a date in years (I'm 33 now). I don't know if it's because I'm older now or if it's because people simply don't want to interact outside of dating apps. I don't use them.
@a.s.1737 Personally, I haven't asked out a girl without knowing her for a while first because I'm shy and have social anxiety around that specifically. I asked my sister (average 24 year-old blonde) about asking out a girl who's just out somewhere, and she said no guy has ever approached her like that. I think it's largely guys not wanting to be seen as creepy. As for dating apps, I tried Bumble for 2 or 3 months, got a handful of matches, no messages, and I'm just going to find someone in person.
What is the merit of marrying a guy for a woman in Japan if he doesn't earn well? Most of the time, her home duties will be doubled, and she won't be supported mentally either. Those single men never say what they have to offer in a relationship. Moreover, they not searching for girls on their level, they search for young, beautiful ones and feel offended when they are rejected.
This!!!
Hypergamy in action
Well said.
What is the merit of marrying a woman for a guy anywhere?
@@ThaFuzzwood what else u want besides free bangmaid? As usual, nem are very useful 🤡, btw, just be àloñe forever. Nobody will force u to get married 🤡
I'll admit I generally enjoyed being married, but I certainly did NOT enjoy divorce, particularly its financial aftermath. Divorce is so costly that it more than offsets any advantages of marriage. It's pure chance whether your spouse changes for the worse over time, and my ex wife radically changed over the 15 years we were together. Unless you don't mind the huge financial hit, don't risk it fellas!
From the sound of it, I assume you didn't set up your marriage to plan for failure by draft a solid prenup. I don't know where you live and don't know the laws in your jurisdiction, but that could have helped you a lot.
@@OverTheVoids I didn't have a solid prenup, but I'm not sure how much it would have mattered. They seem easier to break now, plus judges seem more likely to disregard them in longer marriages. From what I've seen, they work best for marriages that fail in the first few years.
When you get together as a young couple and neither party has much to lose in the beginning, the spouse can claim that pretty much everything should be included in joint assets.
@@OverTheVoidsactually what is the use of male partners? Most of them dont cook, clean, take care of kids etc yet expecting wimen to be free bangmaid and sugar mummy🤡
did you even knew your wife?
No, I was a monster in every way, devoid of even the faintest trace of humanity or compassion. So irredeemably evil that drug lords, tinpot dictators, and used car salesmen trembled uncontrollably in my presence. @@whatfor1637
Peter Zeihan talks about this. As a society industrializes children go from free labor to an expense.
This issue is not Japanese exclusive, the same thing happened in all western counties.
But none the less, this is a very important video.
Great video Nobita.
It's time people from all over the world realise the truth about the cost of freedom in the dating/marriage market.
Future looks bad for Japan.
You should do what Norway does.
37,5 hours working time per week BY LAW!
Strong unions in Japan.
Give the mother 1 year maternity leave and father 3 months leave when they have a baby.
I think that’s the problem not only in Japan but worldwide. Having kids shouldn’t be about more workers. Instead more people should be hired and it should have better working conditions/life balance. Kids should come naturally; nothing good happens when things like having kids for work only or business being pushed like that. It snaps society like a rubber band.
Society mindset needs to be changed. People should be treated as people not assets.
Under capitalism people are only seen "human resources"
The problem is the floating currency reserve bank system and the non sustaining economy. Around 1996 we were told in the higest education institutions in the world that in 20-25 years time automation and the digital technology meant people would have to work much less and would have probably 3/4 of their awake time for leisure and hobbies. This was a serious prediction at the time but it failed to account for the natural corruption and greed of the minority rich especially those parasite rich who skim the society and do little work. It''s because of them that nothing has changed even though it would be possible to live in a society as described. It's not happening because those who produce valuable items such as farmers, artisans, and skilled people are getting ripped off by parasites middle men and banks that whole part of society that speculates on money, that produces nothing but owns most of the wealth.
Arranged marriages actually have more happiness and less divorce
Yup
A major problem is 'female expectations'...a very tall (6'6"), Black American female judge concentrated of studies during college and then a full caseload right afterward; her dating requirements after becoming a law firm senior partner (not judge yet) for any guy was a law degree, stable job in a good law firm and at least 6'9" tall!
Years later and no dates, she started looking for men with ANY degree, gainfully employed and at least 6'6" tall...
Later her requirements fell to a man with any professional training, gainfully employed and at least 6'0".
She wound up later, past child-bearing age, married to a man who was a general contractor, no degree and around 5'6" tall...who made her laugh!
Even though I'm not Japanese, I love the culture and I worry when I think about the rapidly declining population. It pains me to think that somewhere so vibrant and full of life might be almost wiped out in a few generation simply by virtue of people hesitating to have children.
I understand your worry, but I have to remind you that there are more than 120 000 000 Japanese people living at the moment and even if in some decades that would be halfed they would still be about 60 000 000, which is more than South Koreans today (about 54 million) or Finnish people (about 5,5 million) or Estonian people (about 1 million). We do exist, we have our own cultures and languages even if we are this few. So Japanese people and their culture won't be wiped out in a very long time, there will just be less people and more space in certain areas of Japan.
Japan culture and people will be fine. This idea that populations just endlessly decline to nothing is ridiculous. Populations go through ups and downs overtime. There could easily be another babyboom in Japan in the next few decades. At the moment many European countries have a lower birthrate than Japan has but nobody seems too concerned about them. I stay in Japan and there are plenty of kids and families here. Dating here is also super easy. The annoying part is I can't seem to date a Japanese girl for longer than a month without her wanting to get married and starts talking about what our baby would look like. But its a problem I can live with :)
@@jw841 ikr - it seems like the Western media is more concerned about Japan's birthrate than Japan itself.
@@extremepsyche3135 True I don't know why they keep mentioning Japan but completely ignore places like Italy which also have low or lower birthrates than Japan.
@@jw841 Do you use dating apps or how do you meet people? Just beause in North Europe where I live, people mostly use dating apps for something light, not for finding serious relationships. So is it different in Japan?
Well done Nobita San
Keep talking, we need some people in Japanese like you!!
This is freedom of speech!! 👍👍
Interesting video's about these social issues. Much better than the generic dating in Japan videos of most other channels.
Can confirm that having PATIENCE isn’t a thing in the majority of ppl’s minds.
When I told ppl and ex’s including that true love marriage has to have lots of patience most either think I’m crazy or a bad person that tries to make women suffer. Because to them patience is a very negative thing and if a relationship has to have patience then it’s bad.
I was taught this by my great grandfather and parents so those who don’t consider me things I mentioned above just say that I’m old fashioned.
As for the 20% of good looking high salary men,.. well if women want that and are ready to sleep with them even if these men are married or in relationship, then it reminds me of polygamy but at least in polygamy he would have to take care of them all while now it’s "just sex”
Patience... Or simply accepting that you don't like the other person and staying together because it's your "duty" and you're completely hopeless without the other (one isn't earning an income, the other never learned how to take care of himself). I believe there's a reason why so called "boomer humor" is known for involving depreciating jokes about their partner.
I mean, many human civilization in past history (before Abrahamic religions became the standard) had polygamy is their main marital structure. The only reason why people might have had patience in monogamous marital societies is because they didn't have a choice in the matter.
@@krashme997
Besides, what you call boomer humour isn’t a thing for all the "boomers" right? Or am I wrong?
Cuz then we can point at every generation humour and will we have a better result?
@@OverTheVoids but Abrahamic religion had polygamy.
Are you implying that if your partner A is being irrational then you can go to partner B for tonight?
I’m sure I got wrong assumption about your comment, please tell me more what it was about.
@@SparkCroft21 Rather than "for boomers", it is rather made by boomers. Yep, if we can find common themes for a certain generation's humor, I believe it can tell us a lot about said generation.
when you see old marriage arranges, you could get the impression that it had a function and purpose regarding the social structure, and it would ensure safety and security for the participants of concerning group. A swift divorce wasnt an option at those times. In my understanding of the definition of "progressive" i wouldnt say interchanging those valuable benefits with temporary love which vanishs over time would be appropriated using here. The fact that marriage was forced, also enforced responsibility, and the old system provided defitnely a more clearer vision for ones role and future. Times changes, but i wished people would stop talking shit about how bad something was in the past, when the current modern system often fails, and lost it main purpose anyways.
it's so bad that we are alive to complain all about it lol
12:36 looks like my next door neighbor when I put out trash on PET bottle day 💀🫠
Japan adopted the capitalist society and online dating app culture, but did not upgrade the social norms. Old social norms in work and private life are still followed hence only the top 20% get the girls. This problem is not seen in India or many western countries even though their birth rate also declining, but Japan is SOCIALLY. IMPLODING in every sense from work to private life to making friends to having relationships or having children!!!!!!
Then should we start salvaging Japan's population and economy?
If we're talking the US, it's more like the top 5% of men
And don't worry, this is most likely your future as well in India, you're just getting a preview of it 20 years early
@WindupTerminus That's why I might marry to a Japanese women in the future.
@@keeganmcfarland7507 Raising children here is a bigger headache than their work culture
@@ShubhanshAgrawalschools and colleges have become very expensive.
Wonderful video.
Very insightful and love that you’re providing very interesting topics.
I like their terminology, "non-forced arranged marriage". I'm pretty sure that this institution is gonna be the future of humanity in next few upcoming decades. What's wrong if our own parents/experienced people from our community arrange the dates, instead of a profit making making corporate company?
Absolutely love your videos! ❤ Very interesting & exciting topics thank you! 😊
I agree with most points brought up in this video, but that last take is utter nonsense. The idea that declining birth rate is inevitable in any civilized and cultured society. It's only been happening in recent history, and only in certain parts of the world. In most civilizations in most of history, population kept going up. What would you call them then? Uncivilized and uncultured societies? This is a cultural issue, and there are countless other cultures in the world that don't have this problem. We, humanity, need to study each other's cultures properly to find solutions to this kind of problems. There are more cultures in the world than just "Japan" and "The west".
i understand the doom mentality that most people get from these videos (love this series btw), but we have to have some kind of optimism. even if it's naive, we can only hope for the best.
Bro problems don't get solved without facing them head on. The optimistic view is that they can be fixed where there is the will to do so.
true that’s a more fair assessment
On your next videos I hope you'll answer the following questions:
1. How does Japanese work culture influence the birth rate?
2. How much does it cost to maintain a family and is working at an average wage job enough?
3. How easy/hard it is to raise and educate a child? How about the costs?
I think the problem is largely economical, not societal. Just try to compare the previous generation's (boomers) economic climate and the resulting population explosion compared to this generation's.
Hopefully he sees this and takes it into consideration. But I do think it is interconnected, the economic climate created the current work culture that further exacerbated the problem. Furthermore from my understanding Japan's population is centralized in Tokyo, creating unhealthy competition that worsens the already low morale of workers. But this is just a layman understanding from an observer.
If the problem was economical, poor countries would have less children, but they have more. As far as working a lot, people in the past worked their asses off in the field and somehow found time to have lots of kids. Something else changed. I know what it is. Let's see if you can figure it out.
@@734ch3r Just sending this message hoping being notified by TH-cam.
Looking forward for the answer (I have my own opinion on it tho, just wanna hear your thought).
@@animedgames8107 the answer is women's rights and freedoms. Now they can vote and demand quotas, protection and money from the government (taken away by force from men, by the way), so they don't have to get married or have children anymore. So what do they do? Have fun with the alphas and bad boys in their youth, then demand nice guys to pick up the pieces later. No thank you.
The economic problem is mostly time, if people are busy with work they don't have time for kids and daycare is expensive.
Money is a problem in Tokyo as the living and housing costs are high, in the countryside it is the opposite, though prestigious jobs are basically non-existent.
Attitude is the main issue, housing isn't expensive if parents live with kids or people share rooms, people can live on a lot less than they want, companies can have people working from home and not everyone should be working for a corporation, a country requires a diverse workforce, Japan has enough resource problems without running out of farmers. The material wealth on tv is an advert not reality, for this reason many in Tokyo end up in sex work to living in the big city and pretend they are living the high life.
Japan desperately needs to deurbanise and dewesternise, most of these materialist values come from the west and are causing chaos in western society despite it being much more resistant to individualist extremism due to the individual emphasis of traditional (e.g. Christian) western morality.
I think its not only modern technology but also the economy. Many people my age in Germany wanted to marry and have kids, but even with both parties having jobs and trying to make ends meet, they didn't have enough to offer a child a good life, especially since one of them would have to take care of the child and have decreased income for at least a while. During the baby boomer time, a man with a stable 'salary man' job could feed his housewife and 1-2 children at least. Now thats impossible unless the man is really one of the few top earners.
Also many young people say "I don't want to put children in this world with no good future prospects" :/
People need to accept the decline in living standards.
Germany sucks and most people there will never get above lower middle-class, even if you have a good job. The taxes are too high, cost of living keeps going up and the red tape is insane. My brother worked as a engineer at Siemens for 10 years but always struggled financially there. The government took half of everything through taxes and there are alot of stealth taxes there as well. He finally saw the light and moved to the States and made an absolute fortune there. His medical insurance only makes up a tiny fraction of his earnings and pays very little income tax. If he stayed in Germany he would have stayed relatively poor as a tax slave but now he is a wealthy man.
@@jw841I agree that Germany punishes in a way single men and women. Taking a very big cut out of your salary as Tax. I live in a EU country near Germany(at least by plane) and we don't get taxed if we are Single but thing is if we are single we are most likely either living alone or with parents.
Feminism drives men and women appart. This cancer is destroying the will of society to reproduce. People in their 20-ties should be planning their family. 30 is already the end of fertility window for females and men dont want to marry 30 years old used cars. Cancer.
@@ramsa01Yt if you want to clean up poop and be peed on and then go to work sleep deprived because the baby cried in the night go ahead
Japan shouldn't worry about it's dating because western nations are quickly catching up as the rate of marriages continue to fall in the west.
they still have to worry about extinction though. The thing is, less people would lead to less tax money and would then lead to higher tax rate. Higher tax rate then leads to more stressful life and thus lower birthrate. This would then become a vicious cycle that's very hard to break. One way is to welcome outside blood to intermarry, but this would destroy their culture even more than the internet is already doing.
@@re0798 then in the end, isn't this the government's fault? you even said it yourself, "Higher tax rate then leads to more stressful life and thus lower birthrate". maybe if they lower the tax or at least use it to help their citizens, they wouldn't be in this mess
@@Dave_of_Mordor my cousin is a symptom to why people are putting off marriage..the girl he married was someone he knew ever since they were kids, but sad to say they were divorced less than a year.
@@Dave_of_Mordor here's the thing, the country risks going into bankruptcy, japan is a first world country and is very expensive to run. This don't even count the corruption occurring nor does it consider the debt japan has. Also the tax does help the citizen, they have really good healthcare system there, a well integrated railway system so on and so forth. Suddenly lowering the tax risks putting those benefits down, which is jumping out of the frying pan into the fire itself.
Modern dating and changing values are changing relationships. Being a virgin is not appreciated and waiting till marriage is not a big deal. Women keep picking only top 10 percent of percent of men thanks to dating apps. The other men get nothing or leftovers. Men then check out of the dating world leaving women dating and sleeping from the same small pool of men. This modern system is proving to not be sustainable.
13:52 HA has haaaaa! You didn't have to do that to yourself, Nobita! How dare you?!
Good video, by the way!
It's interesting, i'm not knowledgeable in japanese culture ans never heard of Omiai before, i fing the concept really good, useful and healthy for the individuals mental health but i totally disagree on the pressure and dismiss of toxic relationships expressed by some of the interviewed but i guess it's just cultural gap and there isn't much arguing on that
I thought that too when watching it (and agree it might be my Western perspective), as whether happiness means a marriage and children or not to people wasn't really explored. Especially in the older generations (such as the woman that said being married makes life easier for a woman) - that life definitely is not easier if it is toxic or abusive. Financially and in overall stability, perhaps for some, but that is quite subjective.
A fascinating video, thank you Nobita!
@@yutai08 It objectively does, tho. Women without children are universally miserable past 40. Not everyone who marries with children is happy, but nigh everyone who doesn't *is*. And when you get past age 40, you still have half your life to go, and you will spend it wallowing alone. That's not a 'cultural' thing.
@@Arcessitor Funny how you want to use the word "objectively" for you subjective point of view on the situation. Also, the fact that you said that women past 40 are "universally" miserable without kids completely and entirely undermines you entire argument and any future argument you would try to make on this matter. Reality is nowhere near as simplistic as you apparently want it to be. There are those who fit you description and those who don't, and there are those that shift from one side to the other (happy to miserably or vice versa).
Thanks JapaneseReporter. As really I as Non Japanese but Muslim found a lot of our teachings in Japanese way of life, and just like how it is cultural here where I am from. I do agree income is important but it's much more important to find a good spouse who you'll spend rest of your life with. Idk this isn't just Japanese problem but modern day problem because of the rise of dating apps. Even as someone who is born at the end of 90s it is still apparent to me. I guess I am more into old style of meeting I guess haha
The other thing that I think isn't taken into account with technology is the fact of so many options that women have now compared to when arranged marriages were prevalent. The ridiculous numerous options that women have now compared to then, has made it to where they don't feel a need to work on those relationships because they've got so many options waiting on them. Where as only a small portion of men have those options. I'm really interested to see how all of this plays out for Japan and America in the future. Good video Nobita.
Omiai (introductions with a choice) is actually an effective way to find a spouse, especially if the matchmaker happens to be extended family or long-time friend. Social filtering is already done by the relative so there's much less social anxiety amongst the women, but at the cost of pushy parents, and the fear that there's no spark of attraction. However attraction can be developed over time, especially if the guy has 'game'. Of course some people are naturally attractive and that makes attraction easy.
People underestimate just how much passion one can ignite with a spark of attraction, in an Omiai. It's like an exclusive, pre-approved dating.
The main problem with Omiai is because of Japan's strong culture of conformity, many people choose to marry spouses they don't like, aren't compatible with, or are outright abusive simply to please their parents, because they feel immense social pressure to not say no to them. This was actually demonstrated in a rather infamous video on this channel. That video, the one about adultery, featured an adulteress who clearly didn't love her husband and only married him because it was arranged by her parents and she felt pressured to do so.
Now that we have more freedom, I think the majority of men and the VAST majority of women feel happier with the social weight off of their shoulders. The men in this video seem like a minority (desperate to hook up- perhaps they should put more energy into their careers or self improvement to garner better results in the current dating market).
I kinda agree with this. As a woman, I see most healthy men and women around me aren’t in a rush to get married. And they’re much happier for it.
It’s just weird to me how ppl try to shame ppl who are just taking their time and who aren’t just running into marriage bc their desperate or bc of social pressure.
The pre-internet 90s Era is the BEST era in human history! And thanks to destiny we got to enjoy it ❤
I bet Tham after internet 90s Era
The Japanese man is not clinging to mother. That's history. They meet & enjoy many get together dates just for coffee or go with a group. They arenot in a hurry to start a family. They want to have fun first. Experience young life in their 20's even 30's before committment. Omiaii is not popular anymore. Individualism is important.
6:23-6:47 awww I honestly think I would’ve cried if I was him that’s so nice of her to say!
That was really fascinating. When I was young the fears were all about overpopulation. It's been a dramatic shift.
The reasons described in this video confirm why just distributing money to raise birth rates is a waste of time.
After the first few minutes I heard Nobita-san see that it's difficult to believe for westerners. That may be true. But honestly this sort of thing used to happen in the west as well. Go back a few years and ther are more similarities. Marriage of households or for survival was more than norm than anything else. Performing a role more as a duty than out of love or anything. 🤔
Yeah, I don't really see why it would be hard to believe at all. This is what marriage was like in Europe up until probably the early 1900s
I feel like you have to go back a few decades rather than just years to see the normality of this. the 70s was a major turn with the sexual revolution and hippie culture, and eventually divorce became more socially acceptable. The age of the internet helped fuel people higher standards and abilities to focus on other things besides family, and it completely diversified the culture of society to make subcultures of people who are more unique which maybe leads to a lot more conflicting personalities and desires.
3:12 yeah but the "price" of children when they are young is usually repaid multiple times worth when they've grown up
This is starting to sell me on Omiai 🤔
I don't understand why Japan and other country didn't focus on robots and artificial intelligence to "free" people. Then, birthrate should increase. But Capitalism don't like this ethics view, I think.
Your view on Internet and apps is right, imo!
For real.
Wait, Japan's having a birthrate crisis?!?!?! (Cries in Korean...)
Japan is the canary in the coal mine for this phenomenon. It's hitting the West and people don't know how to process it.
Yeah but it looks like that's what people desire. Who are we to tell them to do something else. People like quick s*x and j*rking off. Women seem to only be going for high level men and a majority of men would rather stay home and m*sturb*te because they have no motivation to chase and are lazy. If you speak out against this, you're quickly shut down, so it goes to show that this is what people want.
What's happening to Japan?
Depopulation. You know the subject of this video.
This episode is really good, history and modern techniques clash.
It's nice that the east wants to pick up on western models in the way of dating, the only issue is that, the in west the "dating format" actually doesn't work. Furthermore its harder on the men than woman as you can see at the end of the video. You've already realized that the 20% of men are dating all the women. We are just figuring that out now.
Mixing and mingling is very common so you can keep a culture alive in the west. But for countries in the east that have a completely different mindset in society, like Japan you'll get hit harder because an entire culture is at risk of going extinct. Small towns will turn into ghost towns.
It is true that things are changing there and its not hard to see with the young people, but trying to meet a western format (regardless of if it works or not) with eastern society mindset will never work. It will only create more and more problems. It's only "doable" here because of the way our society thinks of work, dating, family etc.. Just the way of interacting alone is completely different.
If mindset of work & family don't change then the issue will never be resolved. If i'm not mistaken the work structure alone could solve a lot of problems. I see that the most common in the comments of channels.
Keep up the hard work on the vids I am appreciate them!
has nothing to do with Asian society.
the real problem is capitalism over "religion/spirituality/social"
as long as you have a culture where value is making money and profit, everything that doesn't maximize THIS, will fall apart.
there is no problem with the 20% getting all the girls. ( only for people not in the 20% lol )
also no problem in society getting to 10 Million people rather than 100
you're not seeing the greater picture sadly, HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH "WESTERN value".
there is no "western mindset" there is capitalism value or there isn't.
you cannot have your cake and eat it too.
tinder, onlyfan, porn, is all the result of capitalism, because ethics is out of the windows when the goal of every society turn to "growth" and maximizing profits.
your sacrifice is for the great productivity machine, we hope you enjoy, but keep blaming invisible values instead of the real guilty.
it would be too awful to point at capitalism, the real root of all the problems in our current society.
I just want to remind you that all western society were based on family and tradition until the modern era, so please get a better understanding of the world and evolution of the structure of society.
technology and capitalism is your problem, breaking family is not a consequence of western value, but a consequence of technology. unless you accuse the western value to be internet.
if you want tradition, you also have to suppress internet, it cannot be one or the other.
Great point about dating apps maximizing the top 20% and creating an 80% leftover mens pool
This is a problem not unique to Japan but Japan is ahead in many things (good and bad) even in Colombia having many kids was the norm until the 40's 50's (I have 8 uncles and aunts) but they had only 1 or two children between the 80's and 90's
Just keep in mind, adult is what describes us, but in reality everything and I mean everything and every action we take has a childish aspect to it, we like it or not.
Great episode
Didn't expect to see TheJoshSpeaks here
I did not expect to see TheJoshSpeaks on this channel 😭 I watched him so long ago as a kid back in like 2015
It's frustrating when your parents' generation expects the same from yours, despite having different struggles.
The modern western method of dating has caused so many problems. Just like in Japan, the west is having lower birth rates and increasing virgins and single people than ever before. I do agree that one should take their time getting to know someone before deciding if you want to spend the rest of your life with them, but I do not agree with the idea of looking for 'the one'. That sort of tactic will only lead to loneliness. Apps make it worse because with so many people using them, people tend to think there are plenty of options so they'll eventually find 'the one'. The idea of there being 'the one' is ridiculous. Rather than looking for 'the one', people should look for someone they're compatible with. There are billions of people on the planet so there's bound to be a good number of people who will be compatible with you. But so many people seek perfection and look where that's brought us.
Id tell that group of virgjn guys that pretty women make mistakes every day. No reason you cant be one of them.
The Japanese Male Company Man is often so handsome ~ and he must be very dedicated to his work ~ Equally a wife will need to be much the same ~ so they help each other survive the pressures of company life but live for love & romance ~ chemistry it's all chemistry ~ the chemistry between them ~ first chemistry of love ~ long te dating ~ traveling together ~ marriage will happen if it is supposed to £
Salary man style
This just aren’t the same as it used to be. For the dad complaining about his son, I’d ask, how were things back in the day. We’re prices for things better? Were women as workaholic as they are now?
Great interview this Japanese documentary.
Thank u 🌍💙
Omiai is pretty goated, don't need to worry about finding then asking someone out first and suffering psychologically if the rejection is harsh or if you think they're "the one"
the birthrate decline is not an issue of japan, but every country. And the birthrate actually doesnt decline, its the childless mothers that went up, those who are a mother are still at the same distribution of births with 2.5 per mother.
I repeat: its the childless woman who drag down the total average woman birthrate.
As a German I can say I won't get married and maybe only children once Im rich. I have seen my mother and marriage screwing over my father.
Woman select through sex, men through resources, in no country rn men are allowed to use their selection, they have to pay child support. And they have to pay taxes + inflation to woman who get money for free from the state for children.
Taking away natural selection from 1 gender leads to extinction. We are heading towards that rn.
Online dating has ruined the natural hypergamy everywhere in the world
and online dating is a consequence of capitalism having created maximimazing profit technology.
if we had date app without pictures and that were based on ethics it could work ( but with this capitalistic economy it will never be the case )
Is population decrease really the worst thing in the world? Japan is very crowded, and there are more important things than the GDP and old people. The people who think we need to bring in millions of immigrants to keep the GDP growing in Japan are absolutely insane
"Japan is very crowded, and there are more important things than the GDP and old people. "
Yea, I mean, who cares about the "old people" 😁😁
Strictly speaking, it's only around the Kanto region (and Kansai too, I guess?) that is overly crowded. The population not being evenly spread out and Tokyo being the hotspot for a good future is also an issue... Many smaller towns have been losing it's population to metropolitan areas like Tokyo
@@magicflierplaysWhat does GPD stands for?
Also, should we start salvaging Japan's population and economy?
@@keeganmcfarland7507 Gross domestic product (GDP) is the standard measure of the value added created through the production of goods and services in a country during a certain period. As such, it also measures the income earned from that production, or the total amount spent on final goods and services (less imports)
lol, old people need to live from something
Seems like no one around the world wants to get married anymore, the dating scene is ruined, and it's extremely depressing
Yup. Declining marriage n birth rate
: < so sad.. to see Japan struggling with this issue.
I didn't know Omiai was common in the past. I thought it was just a relatively recent and relatively unpopular practice that arose as a response to Westernization.
What benefit is there for men to marry over being in a committed relationship?
what japan needs to do is roll back all welfare programs it has and have the japanese people depend on each othere rather than the goverment change zoning laws so building houses is cheaper like texa's and have a flat tax rate rich and poor only pay 10 percent of their income in taxes
Matchmakers were and still are popular in Ireland. Then again Average age of first marriage in Ireland is Male: 38.2 Female: 37.4
Some thoughts;
I think, "Omiai", should be interpreted as "formal introduction", not as, 'arranged marriage'.
"If you don't think you will marry him, starting as friend, wil be a wast of time" Wow, that's effectively telling her, she shouldn't have male friends. Perhaps the parents were intending to avoid any embarrassing male-female friendships, that may have been socially unacceptable then. But really, it would (at least initially) have been a benefit to have connections with others, with opportunities (from finding better partner options, to employment). Social stigma, I think, has cost, many people, many lost opportunities.
"I was told that marriage is a beginning, Anyone can be compatible with compromise" - That's a beautiful quote.
and instead of "my dad, got married.....", I think it would have been better to use, "My parents married after Omiai introduction."
Again, another well presented expose of a social issue, likely to have serious implications for Japan's, and it's citizen's, future.
About the second quote
I think it makes sense to say that because when I just go up to someone and say "hi", I'm expecting to become friends and maybe something more if we're really compatible.
But when I use a pickup line or ask for her number or just straight up ask her out, it's clear that I don't want to start with a friendship, I want to get to know them with a romantic relationship in mind.
Think about it, imagine you're her and I came up and asked to take you out to dinner, and you said "Oh maybe we should go but just as friends"
If that person wants a friendship when I came up to them to ask for a relationship, then that is wasting my time.
Of course, all of this is just my opinion and perspective and everyone is different.
I love japan
🇯🇵🇯🇵🇯🇵🇯🇵🇯🇵🇯🇵🇯🇵
The couple that does youtube together is so cute
the societal family and long term historic self mental suppression to form modern day disaster
Yup. Msrrige life n dating world nowadays vs in 40s or 30s
10:50 beautiful picture! She reminds of Momoe Yamaguchi ❤
🥰 i always liked you, Mr Nobita, but now i can add Mr Akira to my cute&gorgeous-japanese-men list (pls pass the sentiment)... Keep doing what you are doing, Mr Nobita, Thank You 🍓 p.s. it was funny and reminiscent to see a piece of an old video of yours from the early days (virgin sign on the street) 🥝
I wish arrangements would come back
Yeah.
I'm off the believe that Marriage and Woman in that sence transform a Man into a Man, not a well paid job. But the effection you have for the person lets you work harder and possibilitys blossom.
Love or Arranged makes no big difference in that. But certinaly Arranged once make the whole process easier it also can Develop love out of it.
I think you talked about it once. "If people have affection for ea. other. They start to develop a taste for distinct Face features of the person. Even if in a general sense those features meight be concidered unattractive." I think that is a good indicater of how Arranged can turn into Love. So i think it actually makes more sense how it used to be.
I would have loved a non-forced matchmaker bringing a wife to me when i was young maybe going through the process a few time to find the right one. I was never a popular young man and knew that from an early age and it never improved. I had to actively search and court women really persistently to get a first decent girlfriend (i never settled for ugly women) . I have seen many unpopular men settling for the least attractive woman, i never accepted that, i have my self respect and pride and have always thought many women under valued me. Everybody has seen couples were both the man and woman are very unattractive and they marry for what ? For sex ? I find those couple suspicious and repulsive, i don't think they should make children. Because of that i highly support a matchmaker system, that would really help people who are not attractive but aren't unattractive. I think that would help women decide more easily. These days women have completely lost their mind with high standards because of movies and medias and they refuse men that are even too good for them.
In Europe it was not much different prior to the sixties.
Well... 90% of those patience, sacrifices and understanding were expected from women. Since more and more women stop buying this crap the system don't work. What a surprise. Yes the same all over the world. Honestly those guys whining about women not choosing them could not survive having a family. They are better off without one.
Could You please elaborate? Because I genuinely wanna know why do You have such a harsh opinion?
Some terrible things about arranged marriages is that if one does not understand what they want , due to naivety of young age, or they are being married off to an older person, or just not in love, or was sold a fantasy about what marriage is, or doesn’t want kids it will end miserably
That's where the elders come in...they've got the knowledge and ability to foresee those things. Also parents raised their children accordingly I guess.
And also if you look how something might fail you've already lost in life. Be more optimistic.
@@ortros1 why should I be optimistic about child marriage?
@@ortros1 that’s assuming that there are good intentional adults
@@idongesitx1873 child marriage? And yes, the adults has to have to be genuine people (of course). But in every scenario there are certain risks involved.
We need protection of all humans life from moment of conception.
I'm aware that I'm oversimplifying and I don't assume I can comprehend the whole problem let alone solve it. But after I've seen a lot of videos about the topic of dramatically droping birth rates, most prominently yours, I came to think that Japan should raise paid vacation to at least 20 days a year, make taking that vacation mandatory (in the same way companies have to monitor body weight or be fined), ban unpaid overwork, including company drinking in total and give each parent at least half a year paid maternal/paternal leave (more for the second and third child).
Economics means that isn't a solution, the cost will come from somewhere else, banning women working, reforming education (or just getting rid of state funded education), getting rid of welfare and pensions, banning contraceptives and shooting western lobbying people out of the country with a cannon would probably be a lot better. Moving money around has been tried in Europe, hilariously only the gypsies started a permanent trend of higher birth rates as a result, probably because they were the only group for whom money was actually a limit on children rather than motivation and circumstances.
To judge other people you must know yourself very well.
And many people confuse selfishness as knowing one’s self.
Many of these younger people act as if the internet is the beginning and the end?