it's clear it's not just one person or group at fault. Everyone's attitude and society is just a vicious downward spiral. I couldn't help but shake my head at what everyone had to say. It's like we are watching a majestic creature dying slowly because it refuses to eat, and we can't do anything to help. Sadly, Western society is not far behind with this.
most of them are lying, they do want to get married, but men dont propose to them any more. Due to the family law men have zero rights, after divorce they lose everything including their children, women on the other hand, get the most profit. And not to forget the cosmic expectations women put on men nowadays
Marriage and starting a family use to be the main tool for a women to survive in the world. If you cant find work, you'll need a husband to take care of you. And the best way to do that was to offer the ability to start a family. Nowadays, a women can survive entirely on her own and so men have gone from be a survival tool to a luxury. And people are naturally more nitpicky with a luxury item. When you dont need a man for survival, then theres no reason to settle for anything but the highest value man. For their part, men have notice that their prospects of finding a mate are so low that its just not worth the effort. For many men, if you dont have a family to support, theres not point working yourself into an early grave to earn money. These men are free to take lower paying jobs that are less stressful and use their free time on themselves. Of course, the low pay also reinforces their unattractiveness as potential partners to women.
As a woman...I don't understand why men don't want more from life and don't see the value of making themselves "family ready" for when they meet the right woman. I see so many men meeting a woman they adore but can't play financial/work place catch up fast enough and she has to leave for a more ready man -who did put in the work early on.
it's anywhere Westernized where the effects of the sexual revolution are manifest and female sexual behavior is unregulated having sex EVEN ONCE has lifelong ramifications on pair bonding mechanisms
Long work hours, low pay, and rising inflation burns anybody out. My friends in Mexico have bigger extended families. It's common for entire families to pay for a single house together, share resources and raise kids together in a group. I noticed that the more individualistic families struggled more, while the communal ones had a bigger support network. Just thought I'd share this.
Im Mexican and I must say that youre right, we have problems like the ones in USA but in a very very smaller amount and is probably because we are more family minded whereas in USA there is a more individualistic mentality, which has its own positive aspects aswell
@@chocolatesquirrel2002 I think you're right on spot. My relatives in Mexico have that support network. And a friend earned can lead to a full family befriended. More potential support. The con was if you didn't get along with someone important in the family, then that could sometimes lead to other challenges. In the USA I could live beside my neighbor without knowing anything about them. In Mexico it's almost impossible for me not to know something, for better or for worse 😅
Cajuns were similar until a generation or two ago. Still, it’s common for Cajuns to live in the same area as the rest of their family, even if they do not share a home.
Because you have feminism that leech of the cooperation so that everyone suffer. Men have to work longer hours to earn less to subsidy feminism. With feminism you can never have a birthrate over 2.1. ALL OVER THE WORLD IS LIKE THAT. Blaming other thing is just Bullshit. Every the absolute wasteland of aftrica can have a birthrate way higher than the west (and japan) . Because they dont have feminism.
As a 35 years old unmarried woman who loves children, I legit cried when I learned the lady in the last couple got pregnant. Congratulations and may she have a safe delivery and may they have a happy family.
@@ibtissempharm8800 Okay You said you love children, well, if you want to have ones of your own, may Allah bring you a good man. (you are probably a muslim if your first language is arabic)
The money is not the problem. Explain why poorer people are having more children. We have enough money in the wealthy countries. The real problem is the enforced disruptive intersexual behaviour that I am not allowed to describe here, because of google censorship. Unstabilizing behaviour is being supported, while stabilizing behaviour is being punished (kids, marriage, monogamy, hard work).
@@nocturnaljoe9543I was raised in what you call a " poor country " and I have no intentions of getting married or having kids . I ve seen enough abuse of women from their husbands and I would rather die alone than give up my career for such men . This is why women started to not want to get married anymore in my home country . My sister , for example , got married, and her husband, like big surprise, started to hit her and abuse her verbally and threatened to ruin her career , she s a pharmacist , and he quit his job after marrying her , she managed to have two kids from him within 3 years of marriage and then kicked him out of the house , that btw she owns . And he had the audacity to call her names and that she s ungrateful for what he did for her ( maybe he talking about the lame sex , idk lol ) Tell me who wants to get married in these conditions? Cuz I would never Women became better and men refuse to change
Honestly, I still think a big part of the problem is modern Japanese social culture. Nobody really seems to communicate in healthy ways. So many Japanese dislike confrontation and discomfort that they don't really discuss issues until they become major, and most of them just ghost out of the connection altogether. Ghosting is a huge problem as well.
i didn't even know the term "ghosting" until I was studying in Japan. it's absolutely dispicable behavior, and it has become more common elsewhere too.
Well dating is pretty much forbidden until college, girls and boys never learn to actually communicate as equals. Even marriage is more like a business arrangement for the sake of 'duty' of children.
This!! If there is one stark difference you notice from the US and Japan is how separate men and women seem, from students to professional settings and even among friends, there is a noticeable divide. Add on that Japanese people are very shy about sex, I could see how communication could become a problem between men and women. Seeing how things are changing in Japan, I think it would benefit couples to discuss gender role expectations with each other. We each have our own idea of what a "man" or "woman" should take responsibility for, but this expectation differs from person to person, depending on your upbringing, etc. Maybe a man wants a traditional wife, but she has her own career ambitions. Maybe she needs his help with other things to reach those goals, like sharing the responsibilities of cleaning and cooking. If they don't discuss what they need/want from each other clearly, of course both sides will feel frustrated, and they will argue and resent each other. Unhappiness in a relationship is more than often due to lack of communication. It's easier to lie, distract or do nothing at all than confront your partner about your deep fears and weaknesses, your disappointments, or even private matters like sexual preferences, fetishes, controversial opinions, etc. It sucks to be vulnerable, but that's what being in a relationship is about! If you don't have that trust and happiness...you cheat. And I don't know about you guys, Japan sure seems pretty soft on cheating compared to the US. This is ofc my opinion based on observation since I lived in Japan in the early 00's and moved back here last year.
Thank you so much for interviewing us Nobita as part of this video! We had a fun interview and hope our story can give hope to other couples struggling with infertility!
Where and when are we supposed to meet people? It seems like every place to meet someone either costs money or is slowly being shut down. That's if you even have time to socialize after work, house chores and sleep.
Capitalism. Workers socializing isn’t profitable in the short term so there’s no incentive for any institution to promote already existing social forums. On top of that a well-organized well-socialized populace is a direct threat to the systems of power in our society. So there are actually incentives for the institutions to limit our access to each other and to make it as difficult as can be for people to make friends.
@@frostychicken3652 "Capitalism" has existed as we know it for at least 100 years and the issues that we are currently facing didnt exists back then. This is a modern issue, trying to blame it on capitalism is simplistic and doesn't really provide any solution. China is not capitalistic and is also experiencing the same issue. It seems is more like an issue steming from contries developing and changing the family and community organization, or in short, individualism. Maybe it turns out all religions focused on family, marriage and gender roles so much for a reason.
Hypergamy is just incel BS, though. Most people know what their league is and most people end up with their looks-match. Relationships work best when people are in the same league, and subconsciously we know that The issue is most likely the economy + outdated gender roles that force women to choose between a career or a family. Many are choosing to just opt out of the system entirely
@@purplewitchtarotanddivinat5680That's actually what a guy from the Forever Alone sub-group (distinct from incels) kept harping on. He kept showing study after study proving that while women have massively inflated expectations on things like dating apps, that those aren't representative of reality where women, just like men, get a looksmatch, as you just pointed out. However, you are wrong about 'outdated gender roles' being any part of it. The issue is that the outdated gender norms no longer exist. Women should not be expected to work, period, because no one who shares workload ever feels secure in their partners ability to sustain them should they fall in ill health or otherwise. That's the issue. Lack of traditional gender roles. Not the presence of them.
I'm a woman turning 30 next year and been living in Japan for 6 years, I'm having so much fun here and love living here and would like to stay here longer while I'm at this age, but I'm so scared that if I continue to live here I will pretty much die alone. During my stay in Japan I've not experienced any romance at all. I'm currently faced to make a decision if I should give up my successful arts career (something I cannot pursue in my home country) and happiness to move back to my home country just so I can find a supportive life-partner
Interesting perspective. You seem to be equating "life partner" with financial security (gender roles). How about hot passionate romance? How about the live-together with contraception approach that was the norm of the liberation days since the 60's? What I'm observing world-wide, is that only a percentage of ladies want a hot lover (in which case they oftenlive together). And, this percentage seems to be decreasing. Is it that the men aren't hot enough?
Dating is scary these days. I tried dating apps but the scenario is so disgusting I signed off. Also you don't know what kind of person might be on the other side. What if you end up with a abuser? It's just too risky.
One contributor to the whole "I can't fall in love/find someone to love" issue is the BIG myth/misconception that "friend" is entirely and utterly separate from "lover". People segregating the two and not considering friends as potential lovers is ruining peoples' chances. It goes both ways, for men and women. There are people who will pass up on loyal, genuine, and caring true friends in search of hot romance- that may mostly end up in exploitation/disappointment. On another hand, some people are not really looking for love- they are looking for a trophy/achievement to put on their life resume- i.e. "Look at me, I've got a hot husband/wife- isn't my life so great?" They look for a life partner the same way HR tries to fill a job opening. But true love is patient, kind, not envious, not proud, not selfish, and is forgiving. Contrast that to many a modern person: -Impatient, always in a rush -Cold-hearted and indifferent -Always looking to one-up others -Narcissistic -Overly critical, nitpicky, always offended Many cannot find love- because they don't have it in themselves to begin with. You don't "find" love- you're supposed to have it in yourself so you can share it.
The distinction between friend and lover is important. Genetic compatibility is subconsciously assessed, certainly by women, if a woman can't see you in a sexual light, despite her wanting to spend everyday with you its a subconscious thing. When a baby is born with defects it is the mother that shoulders that burden, in all animals. Mate choice is very important
I think some people genuinely do want to start from being friends. Unfortunately, "friendzoning" is normalized nowadays. So much so that most people prefer not to be friends as to make it clear that they are interested in a relationship.
It is easier to [simply] give up, and invest in an Ai-virtual-girlfriends, like "Cortana". It is for this very reason, I simply mUst repeat the following words: "Cortana… her 'pusss', really is, all I need... From her high polygon-count, THICK thighs, perfect symmetry and high graphical-fidelity, to her chat-gpt boosted Ai, Cortana really is the only gal for me… Also… Unlike "real" woMenS (and they fake boobiis), ~she will never ageee, nor get hungry. She will never cheat, nor divorce me in place for child-support. - sHe wiLl acCepT meeH, for meh[me]! Cortana, plus beer [🍺] inside of the belly, is all I neEd to feel content and happy! 😚🤖 ...🗿
My husband works for a Japanese company but they are based in American currently and his Japanese coworkers loved being here bc they aren’t work near death there and the reason why they struggled and refer to be in America even if it means they are away from their families. It’s the work culture that is killing marriage like how can anyone function if they are constantly working with no breaks? Also being paid shit and women still being expected to not work on top of that when they should work to help with bills but expected to still do their house work? It’s impractical to get married.
Contrarily to what most foreigners believe - that Japan is really easy to get dates; it's not. It's actually extremely hard to date here, if, as a man, you got any preferences. It mostly comes down to: - lack of places to meet people - easy disregard for people (in hives like Tokyo), plenty of fish mentality thanks to social media - passive culture creates passive behavior (if you go to any nightclub in Tokyo, you'll rarely see any slight intimacy - not even dancing together, let alone kissing or hugging) What in reality happens is that a few men who stand out usually know their position perfectly and are using it, leaving a lot of hungry girls dissatisfied due to their nonchalant and careless behaviors (which in reality is what makes them attractive in the first place, but not a good long term partner). In today's hyper social media age, men largely have no patience to 'play the game' - they simply want to get it on - while women naturally need some time to start liking someone. This 'timing' mismatch dissuades men to participate in longer term hobbies or practices where eventually interesting partners show up - and likewise, women avoid places like clubs or bars where stuff gets too quick. Hobbies in a public area (sports, dances, hiking, workshops etc) are still by far the most natural place relatively compatible people would meet - it is for this reason that men with these kinds of 'common' hobbies + a stable job get married relatively quickly. Majority of my married guy friends in Tokyo are the most average dudes you can meet - often married very beautiful girls - but one thing is very common among all of them: they accept themselves as they are, they don't aim for the sky, they simply do their job and have a stable income (not too much, but not English teacher level) and most importantly have very well dosed hobbies that they never miss. Contrarily to what you may believe, 'high spec' men and women both are for the most part single - ever since they started being successful. Why is this? Simply put - successful people become successful largely due to a constant feel of insufficiency and a high thirst to prove themselves - leaving no room for romance in their lives - and leaving them extremely confidence-deprived as they enter the dating game. Their relationships end up in disasters cuz both feel insufficiency - and if they end up dating an 'average person', it works only if the 'average person' has enough stoic tolerance to absorb their emotional onslaught. This problem is much deeper than declining economy.
By high spec. do you mean financially or does appearance factors into being high spec. coz I imagine those high spec men to have no problems attracting women.
that is probally the thing; plenty of fish mentality thanks to social media waiting and waiting for that 1 thats out there caus there is 1 or a 100 but how long will you wait
Correct in two ways. 1) the taxes and productivity from them working. 2) the fact that as a woman's income goes up she spends much more than an equivalent man. This is why in just about everything governments actually want as much money as possible shoved under the control of women, not men. Because if they get their hands on it, they will likely spend it. However, we are clearly seeing the long-term effects of this are unsustainable to a society.
The problem is that choosing a partner has been overcomplicated by decisions based upon status, earnings and imported social norms on what is considered a 'normal' relationship. Instead of looking at the merits of a person in terms of their personality it's become a 'market' of picking and choosing the 'correct' model. People are choosing their partners like they choose a car. They are looking at the value proposition and not the emotional connection as to whether they are a suitable partner. This means they are disconnected from that deep emotional connection for a loving two way relationship.
As much as emotional connections matter, someone's "status" or financial resources are important, because if you're going to have kids, it determines the life they're going to have in the future. As for the rest, some countries seem to be more elite minded than others.
@@VixxKong2this right here!!!!! Yup when something goes wrong they always say you should have chosen better. Also I feel like that’s always been a thing except if was the women’s dad that made the decision.
This is an issue that is not just limited to Japan as most people now live in countries where the birth rate is below replacement. It is just that Japan was the first country to go through this demographic transition as they are in the most advanced stage of population shrinking and aging. Sooner or later other countries will be where Japan is right now
It's because the women are educated and financially independent. Every single country developed country where women are like that experiences birth rate decline. Third world countries which are pretty much gta servers have higher birth rates because the women are not very educated but dependent on their partners.
In Italy the birth rate is very low, but we are socially open, no shame, we want to have x and our family structure supports us financially to protect the couples in the early stages, so why? The reason could be many, but my personal view is that we are already too much, so shrinking is natural because living in a constant population growth means less and less resources, opportunities. Black death pandemics during 1300 enriched the remaining 1/2 of the population left alive, then we had Renaissance, but another high birth rate ment poor people expatriate in the next centuries and even nowadays. Only the stronger families with many assets and marriages still survive
@@quelodequelo Hard disagree. The birth rates are falling because the women in your country are highly educated and have economic autonomy to select their partners. Issue is that they always shoot for the top 10% to 15% of men that are well beyond them but in so doing their ignore the remainder 60% average men who would make great partners but not necessarily as good looking or as successful as the top men in the country. Every, single, westernized country has this problem but no one has the balls to say it. Africa, parts of south America and south east Asia may have shyte hole countries but they have higher populations because the women's development are stifled by economics and traditionalist values . The notion that Europe has too many people is pure brainwashing to get Europeans to self annihilate themselves and it seems to be working. Every non native European group living in Europe is currently out breeding native Europeans (Belgium being a great example). Meanwhile Europeans with their so called high IQ can't seem to ping the nonsense being sold to them. You are being eradicated by WEF globalists, wake the f*** up.
the woman at 12:20 is also right, it's the people who care about dating the ones that should do something about it if they don't want to end up regretting it, but for people who just don't want to date it's perfectly fine and there is no problem with that, not everyone wants to date and have a partner or family
Imma say this just once for all men around the world, the reason is we never liked child care but we never had a choice, now that we can choose an increasing number of women are living for themselves, and not sacrificing their career and youth for the husband and the kids
So you're saying we should take a page out of history and take away your choice again? We also have artificial wombs making excellent progress, but I guess your suggestion makes sense as well.
@@Eighteenxraythen use the artifice wombs and when that creates emotionally deformed beings who can’t connect with ANYTHING you’ll see how foolish that is. Typical, instead of improving you men would rather threaten. You know what the issues are and don’t want to fix them, so deal with it.
yep that's right. Women think taking care of their own children is work. Okay then. we'll do it. But you don't want that do you? You still want a man to be financially stable so you can come and go as you please. You want the best of both worlds and offer nothing in return. Be honest.
In New York in their 30's getting married, buying homes and having kids. Really simple. The cycle of life. If you don't want to marry you don't. If you're married but don't want kids you don't have them. None of this is hard or complicated.
Something a lot of people don’t realize or don’t want to admit is love is sacrificial by nature. When you chose to build a life with someone you are also choosing to let go of something else. It goes both ways, you sacrifice a little and your spouse sacrifices a little too. What SHOULD happen is over time you effectively become one person. At least that’s the Christian ideal. You reshape your goals with the other person on mind and make compromises. It’s not easy. However, nothing worth fighting for is ever easy.
Well, if we're talking Christianity, God never intended for humans to go through the things we go through today. Life and relationships were supposed to be *without* problems.
andrew, your comment is all truth. BTW, making abortion illegal again would solve half the low birth problem. The other half would be solved if people stopped believing they were evolved pond scum.
Not sure if the comments here are coming from those who actually live or lived in Japan. I often hang out in central Tokyo to socialize and sometimes go to a reservation or invite only bar owned by a very young, ambitious woman. Younger women don't see any value being tied to a relationship and would rather enjoy their youth with their friends for as long as it can last. There's not much else to it. Combined with many services that cater to single women who want to chill and have a good time, it's a better value for them. Also, some of the women I've spoken to in Tokyo are also working long hours and party until the early morning. Work is not always an obstacle. For men in Japan, it's mostly economics and partially being left out of consideration if they aren't a 10% type. This is only in dating culture and not so much marriage. On the other hand, I also know several people who enjoy being married or seeking a marriage partner while they are still young. As others have said, it's a worldwide phenomena. I could write more but this is what I mostly witnessed and had conversations about with other younger men and women in Tokyo.
Let me condense this comment to the guys out there. If you ain't a chad, you're not dating material. Also, those young women are sleeping around with those said chads. So give up weebs.
@@murimurimruiyep nuff said. And that goes for the rest of the world now too. A weeb can get a mid girl maybe; or if he’s lucky might find a pretty girl. But otherwise they get the rejects. Even chads aren’t getting play like they used to.
I say Japan work culture need to be change and paying rate need to go up. Seriously paying rate hasn't go up since 1991 that crazy. There is no balance
The comment section is sad. Japan's work culture is built around the idea you have someone at home which pushes women out of work as soon as they have a baby. Women are gonna be hesitant on picking a partner. Building a society that let's both parent have the time and resource to have children is the be parents. Also having the free time to meet people. Women and men don't feel comfortable taking on the unreasonable amount of work and opting out.
Agreed, why would a woman marry a man who couldn't provide a better life than what she was making prior to her getting married if she has to be dependent on him in a society like this?
@@shelbysycamore637 because maybe just maybe, she can still work her own job parttime (something my mother did even after i moved out). Furthermore depending on what she does at home she would probably realise that the man is also dependant on her. If she does 80% of the householdchores because he does overtime, why should she call him out for being dependent on her?
It must be so difficult for both men and women now, caught in the trap worries about unemployment, a toxic work culture and changes in social attitudes. Men are working longer hours for less money and women find themelves in the situation where they also have to have work to survive away from their parents. The Showa Era circumstances and attitudes have all gone, but nothing of lasting good has replaced them.
@@tizi087 your mother had to wait for 18+ years of caring for you before she got a part-time job. The government and employers doesn't recognize caring for your child as labor. Though what your mother did was valuable, she cannot go to the social security office and claim benefits for it. An employer will not give her around of applause at an interview when they could find someone else with less employment gaps and more marketable skills. So, I much like other women would prefer to only become a housewife and mother if my husband is able to make a crap ton since we are putting ourselves in a compromising position to make up for the opportunity cost we see giving up.
@@tizi087 regarding household chores and dependency, a woman can work and do the household chores if she's only cleaning up after herself, but working will guarantee more financial stability over her live vs marrying a man who makes the same as her or less but expects her to clean up after him and their children.
There's a direct correlation between quality of life and birthrate. As we become more educated and have more opportunities in life, we become drastically less likely to subscribe to relationships or raise children. It used to be mostly men that benefitted like this, but more and more women are seeing such benefits and walking away from the path of marriage and family. Once women catch up to men in terms of living more career/goal driven lifestyles, the birthrates will REALLY plummet.
I learn early in biology that reproduction is essential since we are not immortal. Every living being on earth is the result of very long history of reproduction. I wont call someone educated if they forgot basic biology understandings.
False. Rich people have fewer kids and that alone disproves your hypothesis. Birthrates in rich countries back that up (Luxembourg, Monaco, Switzerland etc vs African developing nations).
The problem is apps like tinder allow women to access the top percent of men for flings. Then that becomes their standard. Unfortunately only few men meet their criteria. These top percenters of men get all the women but don't settle with them. Then the rest of the men give up and most men and women end up alone.
Japan idol culture is bad. Men focus all their mental and emotional energy on someone they can never have. They feel fulfilled in some way but this is a fruitless way to spend their time and money. These men will end up alone. Instead they should focus their energy on the woman that is available to them within their social circles or surroundings.
Tinder is full scammers and flingers. A lot of men there are fishing for sports, not for keeps. And the people who are serious oftentimes experience a lot of let downs. That can seriously demotivate anybody...
The answers are right there in your video Nobita. It's not only happening in Japan but to a lesser extent, the rest of the world too, the combination of which leads to the lower birth rate. China is the prime example of such thing happening where the lifestyles of the typical Chinese have changed so much that it's hard to keep up. Ask any number of Chinese couples and they say that the reason they have no more than a child is nothing to do with the former one-child policy but rather the economic costs of having more. That, coupled with the cultural norms in China lead to a lower marriage rate and then a lower birth rate.
Something I noticed when I was dating in Japan. Not sure if this is universal. Whenever I am on a date with a girl, other women at restaurants, outdoor, subway, train station etc often looked at my direction or even tried to make eye contact and smile at me. It's like their antenna starts ringing and they start wondering , oh that man has a cute girl next to him. Wonder what's special about him. That's the impression I get. But when I go out just by myself, I almost never have that same experience. It's like I am just another NPC in the background lol.
Living in japan for 8 years, barriers just to talk is raised so high its so difficult to even talk to some + shyness + low confidence + no communication skills + and if you approach to girls you Been considered as ナンパ/チャライ Overcomplicating simple stuff than complaining we can't find partners. Unwillingness to change or put effort leads to same results
THIS. Facts. As a very rule oriented society, meeting a partner is only possible through the established ways. Girls I really want to talk to, I can’t usually find them online or at events I go to. So I took to talking to girls on the street. But here that is seen as チャラい and most girls will just outright ignore you. I think also a good number of 20-something Japanese girls don’t want or don’t need a boyfriend. I was talking with a very pretty Japanese lady recently who lamented she couldn’t find a boyfriend. Every piece of advice my friend and I gave her, she replied with 難しい We told her that if she merely went to a bar or some type of event, she just had to smile at a guy or say hello. Men don’t really get approached often. So if we’re approached by someone, it’s a unicorn moment. I guaranteed her that with her sweet personality and looks most men wouldn’t say no to her advances or to a Line exchange. No willingness to change. 😅
Let me translate the passive language for you. They’re having “trouble” finding love because they are happy, have good social circles, and have the ability to control their own lives so they don’t have to lower their standards to nothing while being fully responsible for all childcare. Not sure why this is a problem, we have too many people in the world as is. People are still having children. There are still workers out there. Chill.
Let me translate your mistakes in to reality. No, people are not "still having babies." We are facing a total population collapse. Do you know what happens when a younger generation can not afford for themselves and is unable to pay the tax required to look out for the elderly? We are well below replacement rates. In Korea it is 0.78. This is also an increasing trajectory so it is not static, which means in additional years, we will see a population of over 50s make up 80% of the population of all people. Also the idea that people are happy and have good social circles appears to be contrary to the evidence as well. People are becoming more separate, more isolated and atomised. Communities are dying and loneliness is becoming one of the largest sources of secondary health problems across the developed nations. You might be speaking for yourself and that's fine, but extrapolating out your wellbeing to everyone else is lazy at best.
@@loganblackwood2922 you're confusing people with man and woman. Women are happy to live in a world of just women. It's not an issue to be without a man who is often more of a burden than he realises. The population collapse argument is another weak one. It happens within countries all the time, where economic viability plummets and young people go off to the city etc old mining towns, old villages in mountains etc that are poor, don't have infrastructure or a govermrnt system to save them. The old women look after each other and they men....do whatever old men do. Having a baby is natural but much harder on the body than men can comprehend. Women don't see the point in suffering that to brig their child into a malfunctioning society that only want them as pension slaves.
@@steph6109 it seems ridiculous to me that this guy brings up "population collapse" when we probably have hit the 8B mark of people in the world, yet, numbers in a couple of decades will project to 10B.
Population collapse is the least of women's worries. An unhabitable planet is a greater concern. Sounds like he is only concern is access to women's bodies aka sex.
One issue I haven't seen addressed is the Japanese custom that the wife of the oldest son take on the responsibility of caring for her parents-in-law -- unpaid, of course. Is this still true? If so, it would be a strong deterrent for a woman to marry an oldest son.
Parents see their kids as a retirement plan, they are almost expected to be taken care of when the kids become adults until the day they die. It’s purely a financial obligation thing in Asian Culture. In China, it’s a whole lot worse because both grandparents are expected to live with the married couple and the man of the house has to take care of them, plus have at least 3 kids as the CCP is “suggesting”.
Some of the opinions here scared me. How can people not see that many women also excel in risk prone stressful jobs and prefer that a lot to sitting at home with kids. I love Japan but the level of sexism still to be perceived there is really scary.
There are always outliers. You are unaware of worthwhile studies. In Sweden, considered the most egalitarian society in the world, and after decades of pouring resources into "equality," approx. 95% of engineers are men, and 95% of teachers are women. They've had it forced down their throats for half a century, and this still happens.
Yes sexism is so real in this video and the men who talked here trying to, as usual, blame women for all the problems the society is facing. I noticed also that so called biologist talking with all confidence as if he knows what all women want to do.
@@sumiben5211 he is a biologist, he's generalizing, you cannot tell what a single woman or man wants but their population as a whole behave predictively. He's not talking about what a woman wants but what a general woman wants.
Very few women are working in risk prone stressful jobs and some women can do those jobs as well as men but still vast amounts of hardworking labour is still done by men, men and women will always be different, it's in our dna, it's not sexiest to point it out, under the law we can be equal and are equal in most of the developed countries.
My mother really wanted to be a housewife, but she was forced into a career by life circumstances. My father was a terrible alcoholic and drug addict. The women in my family all tried to be housewives, but over and over again were met with disastrous results. Most recent one is my cousin, who was recently widowed with three school age children. She deliberately did not go to college or get a good paying job because she wanted her late husband to "feel like a man". Now she is living hand-to-mouth, like most of the women in my family.
It's imprtant for this reason for women to develop a skill as a fall back in case the worst happens. I had a client who did exactly that: She went to college back when it was still inexpensive, her husband died leaving her with a baby, but she was able to provide because she has a degree in which she could get a decent paying job. I highly recommend modern women take the middle path of wanting to have a family but also be educated or have a marketable skill.
This comment section is illuminating. Zero self-reflection from guys and all the blame on women. Reminiscing about the good old times when 'a man was the best thing that happened to a woman' aka when getting married was the only way to survive for women bc of no paths to financial freedom via secure jobs, or suggesting to strip childless women of government pensions in old age(what about single childless men??) Reminds me of this adage - "When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression." Is it any wonder women with choices are choosing to be smarter?
Okay so you're saying its "Okay" for women to have unrealistic expectations from men? I'd like to hear your thoughts on the problem and how its the men to blame? I personally believe that both genders share the blame.
@@steph6109 I expect the unmarried women to put all the blame on the unmarried men and insult them with labels like incel as if calling people names will some how solve the problem.
Got to say, Japan is strongly influenced by the west though: (The Overtime Issue is there in the country since forever. Showa Era is Over, you can't go back.)
Childless women and men going crazy because a weather lady is dating. People, please get it together. Incels and cat ladies, you can solve each other's problems
No they can't because cat ladies would still be too picky. Cat ladies could literally go on any dating app and still receive much male attention. Incels can't do that be the definition of incel. There are no truly lonely women because of that (the only exceptions for cat ladies would be heavy medical conditions, but it is clear that ill men are even more lonely)
Old men in South Korea and Japan are stuck in the old mindset: work till you drop. Get up and work some more. it worked to make these countries strong economically, but it's failing miserably now. They need, young, fresh, fearless thinkers who aren't afraid to break traditions: Shorter workweeks, mandatory parental leave with pay, monthly subsidies per child, progressive taxes, cheaper housing, restructuring of the entire education system, transition to remote work and flexible hours, decentralization of industries, etc. I mean, this stuff has been known for years. There are countless studies out there that show how this can be done. It's going to be a long, slow, painful process, but what's the alternative? The old farts in govt. know it too, but they and their supporters are too afraid, or too close-minded to implement any of it.
What you are proposing is Socialism. People left to live on meager means. It would mean the country being less competitive and stagnation. Nature thrives on competition. If we do not compete we go extinct as a species. Yes, we can all exists on a basic income and have more free time. But someone has to keep the ball rolling. AI and automation may offer the answer but it's still a long way off being viable.
@@Mopantsu First of all, you're treating socialism as if it's an evil word. Every developed country in this world has levels of socialism inherent to its system, some more than others like Denmark where people pay higher taxes for more government services. They regularly come out on top as being the most satisfied with their lives. And you're acting as if what I proposed is going to negate the free market economy. No, it won't. It's reaching more of a balance, because just letting "nature" take its course clearly isn't working. AI and automation could be a part of the solution. I personally think it will be, but not without government intervention. If you just let "nature" take its course, the gap between the haves and the have nots will widen to irretrievable levels.
Falling in love = Being physically attracted. According to official data, most women find most men unattractive. "Quality of men is low." - Ayane = She finds most men unattracive.
It's because of their colonial mentality and white approval seeking. Attractive for them is basically having european facial features like a small head, sharp jaw, tall nose. And white men find asian women attractive because of reasons that needs a whole article so I'll just skip it. So overall asian women have white approval while asian men don't.
talking like all these fake women looks like beyonce, shakira and jlo... most women have complexities from their body and face that's why have : wig fake nails retina fake lips fake butt faking everything and they real selected rich men. women are a pure hypergamists
It's interesting that the feminization of men in the media has created a society of young women that look at many men as unnatractive and masculinity as toxic.
"they can't fall in love" to me this sounds like (a) a man can't solve relevant problems for her, because people don't need a provider anymore (b) media shows idols which are groomed to look flashy the normal man can't compare and the woman always gets an impression to date down (c) modern life gives the woman all the rights when she turns 18 by law so she doesn't have to flee from her family to create her own life. (d) modern philosophy is "if you don't take me as I am you are a narcissist", so both won't change their approach or behaviour to something that is more "datable" or worse every one male and female can keep their full blown arrogance without having to think there is something wrong with them. All of that makes men not as attractive compared to times before when a man was the best thing for a woman to happen. This is going to be a global trend.
Couldn't agree more. Both men and women have very very very unrealistic expectations of how men or women should look like or should do, feel, how much money to make etc ...
@@Mopantsu I get what you mean, but love has been a commodity through out history as well. Marriage was a purely status and financial consideration. The difference is, there was no bottom to the social barrel: You were doing bad? You could bet there is a woman who is doing worse that you and you are her best option. This doesn't apply anymore, because of a social security net and people doing better than back in history. That's a good thing. However I see a problem in the attitude of people of today: Everyone is on an "min-maxing" algorithm to get their best option in life and there just to many things with the widespread of information that create desires for the next better thing. You are in a constant loop of FOMO and min-maxing yourself and your situation. Fake it till you make it can maybe get you something that is beyond your market value and that is the good life isn't it? So everything is looked at with extra scrutiny "are you my best option?", "life is about me, I want you to change, I'm ok" . We are scoring ourselves higher with an extra margin so maybe we get something outside of our league, because getting something in our league is dating down. We have built a society of extra clever people and think life is an amusement park where the one who gets the best ride has won the whole thing. Everything has become a run on being larger than life, including dating. And I don't think capitalism has THAT power yet.
Dude, it is not the money. It is the little value that average women see in average men. You need to be taller, make more money, be more successfull and you defenitley have to look attractive. This reduces the number of potential partners to a minimum that is being shared by the majority of women. A small pool of men dominates and because of them all men are being punished.
@@nocturnaljoe9543 this is a simplistic view. There are more factors to it than that. Men are being devalued on purpose by Western Marxism. It's a globalist ideology to population reduction and CONTROL!
The median age in Japan is 48.6 years. It has one of the highest median ages in the world. Japan also does not allow very much immigration into their country. The math says it's already too late. Japan's population is ageing rapidly few young people need to take care of greater amount older people as Japan has a very high life expectancy as well. I love Japan and its people, but the math says it won't be possible for them to change this.
It’s still the most diverse economy in the world and still a leading economy. That won’t change anytime soon. Japanese know how to innovate (which will save them). It’s the rest of the world that is obsessed with the country’s birth rate.
I’m an Indian guy. I remember when I was 28 years of age and informed my Japanese director I’m going on vacation to get married, he was visibly shocked. He asked my age and gave a perplexed look then. I had 2 kids by age 32. Japanese are so excellent with their work ethic but couldn’t understand something so basic to life is both funny & sad.
That Touko Shirakawa lady makes a lot of sense. "So for women, marriage is very risky." She explained it very simply. The women have to be picky and choose either men who earn > 6m yen annually, or men who don't mind having mid careers but will definitely pull their weight in raising children - none of those 'I helped to wash the dishes last Saturday' and feel that they're being 'very helpful indeed'. Because the women have to be picky, the men feel 'hurdle wa takai sugi' and just give up on dating. That sums it up. Yes, in the Western world (USA particularly maybe?) men also have much lower appetite for marriage, but the reasons can be a bit different: (1) They say that divorce is financially crippling and a lot of men (online at least) just assume that most women are gold diggers and just want to take away half their wealth. (2) With so much casual sex and more prevalence of single mothers, marriage is just not so necessary. Men can have the cake and eat it too - have the benefits of regular sex with a girlfriend and less risks if the couple for some reason need to separate.
Marriage is risky for women ? How about men that get dispossessed because their wives want to try another option ? I don't know of divorced men around me that weren't left by their wives for another man and never the opposite. If the ex-wife decides to ask for the max, they get hit hard.
@@qrsx66 did you watch the video? Marriage is risky to women in the Japanese society context. Touko Shirakawa explained it in the video as the 'Child Penalty'. Women will have to give up their careers to raise the child, and she will lose over 60% of her salary potential because she won't ever rejoin the work force in full time employment. And Touko Shirakawa also mentioned that in Japan the expectation of marriage is to have children. What you mentioned about divorce and alimony and women as gold diggers, I also mentioned in my comment as being more prevalent fear to the western world, maybe the USA. Please kindly pay attention.
@@qrsx66 I literally only know of only one couple where the woman left. I know personally of over 10 where the husband left usually for a younger or more attractive woman. And in Canada women aren't even being awarded spousal support if they are able to work even if they have been a housewife for the last 20 years. It has become very risky for both parties.
Idt the problem in the Showa era were the gender roles, but the abuse that stemmed from those gender roles. If men go work and women stay home, and both are equally respected, there’s no problem at all. But a lot of men were like “I have a house cleaner + nanny at home, so I can go play with friends and maybe even cheat cause the wife would never know” and at home, they’d be like “why isn’t the food ready? You have the entire day doing nothing and can’t even have food ready, etc”. Anyone in the woman’s position would want to quit the no-pay labor-intensive abusive job of being a housewife, in those circumstances, but Showa era gender roles didn’t allow women to leave. Basically they had to be household slaves. Can you blame women for wanting to have a career where they can do things and earn respect they otherwise couldn’t? Don’t get me wrong, with an understanding husband that does what he’s supposed to do under the gender roles, the Showa system works well. However, if such understanding can’t be guaranteed, the modern woman won’t accept going back to being potentially abused.
It’s not just that era. The household dynamics has been the way you describe since the agrarian society all over the world. There’s a thing called genetic memory in psychology. Women know deep down the possible ways things might turn out if the partner isn’t right. This plays a part in being picky at partner selection. It’s almost like men today are paying the price for their ancestors wrongdoings. Very unfortunate situation from both sides.
@@Emptytopfloor I agree and I only mentioned the Showa period because it was alluded to in the video as “something we could potentially go back to”, but it really is just most of history in every part of the world pretty much. I believe it’s a good system if the purpose is to procreate, but I’m not sure humans are worth existing if half the population gotta live in chains withstanding abusive partners because there’s no other choice…
@@FUToob of course the barber will tell you do need a hair cut even if you're bald. If a marriage was beneficial to a woman then we would be rushing into them quickly.
I disagree with some of the suppositions made in this video. While I do agree that going back to a more traditional Japan might mean more childbirths, I don't think the correlation of more marriage = more births is causal. I think culturally, Japan works for more of a stable society, because really, there is no reason why people couldn't have births out of marriage. Take America, for example, where lots of people, teenagers, specifically, have babies with lots of different partners. This kind of situation would increase Japan's birth rate, but those children would likely be poorly cared for, in large part due to a single mother struggling economically to take care of so many kids. I also disagree with the guy who said more dangerous jobs = better pay. While this may be true on a micro scale, it doesn't on a macro scale. Otherwise, CEOs would have a greater risk of death than being a fisherman, but this isn't true at all. And I don't think that woman who says, "women just like being housewives" is representative of all women. Some men like being at home more, some women like being at work more, and the opposite is also true. So while this video makes some good points, I do think some of the suppositions it makes based on "traditional gender roles" and their impacts is misguided. Moreso, I think we should pay attention to the researchers. Like the Japanese woman researcher said, women would likely have more children if they felt more economically secure. Hell, a single woman would be more likely to have a child if she was economically secure enough to not have to work and could dedicate the time she felt was right for her family. I mean, what accounts for the reason why birth rates are down in countries with developed economies and educated people? BOTH partners have to work now to make life work, and it just doesn't make sense for a lot of people to have kids anymore. Shoot, I myself didn't have kids until I was in my mid 30s because of the economic reason. Sure, some of my peers had kids when they were 18, but those people are more likely to rent and less likely to have saved up any wealth that they can pass on to their kids.
More men like being home makers not because of gender roles but because of ideologies being pushed by Western Marxists and globalist interests. Promoted at every level in the institutions of government, corporations and the education system for money and control.
Agreed. Think it's all about the money. Once that is out of the way, most men and women will have kids. With no regards to gender. Imagine you are in your 20's and being paid so much so that you only need to work a few hours in a day. Your income is so high that you can probably retire in your 30's. Do you need a rich partner to marry? Physically, you cannot have kids? You won't have time to take care of your children? If you still chooses not to have children, then it's your personal choice. Most humans have an innate desire to procreate. How do you think humans still exist now? Now, everybody on earth just try working, eating, sleeping and no sex at all. See what happens...
Doesn't the English language come the west a.k.a England and America. Doesn't japan amongst the whole watch study and keep tabs on America? But you got the audacity to showcase your sanctioned ignorance cause you can 🤔😭😭 it always baffles me when people talk sh*t about America when all they gotta do is change the channel. And stop speaking English and copying our sh*t baby!
I knew people who regretted havjgn kids young bc they didn’t even know themselves so how could they raise their kids not knowing how to raise them to be proper humans. I waited a few years before I had my son but even I had a lot of growing up to do
@@markigirl2757 I agree--it's kids raising kids. Humans take so much time to mature it seems. Hell, I'm getting into my 40s and I know I still have a lot of growth to do.
I don't know if this aint't an issue in Japan but giving up a job to be a housewife also means your partner will have to provid everything and you won't have a financial freedom, cuz even if you're married, you're not the one who earned the money. you can't really manage the money, you can't buy whatever you want, it's always gonna be at the risk, at least, of hearing "you're spending MY MONEY. you bought bullshit with MY MONEY". everyone feels upset because the money is not being spending the way they want.
@@P.90.603 and now women are choosing the clear role of working instrad of taking care of children, bc when they work, they have way more freedom (specially financial, but also to run if their partner puts them at some risk) than when they only take care of children
@@P.90.603 and my point is that women in general don't pursue having a family exactly because they don't want to have children, give up their jobs and also give up their financial freedom. When they can keep a job and children, it has to be part-time, which helps a little of the financial freedom issue, but also gets their time. This birth rate problem doesn't seem to have a solution.
@@P.90.603 if a women and her husband both work and like to have their own money, they will have to split housework and, if they have kids, childcare too. If only one (and it's usually women) work part time, they will still have to split tasks considering tiredness. Working or not is a choice and most of the time people would like to to have this choice. This video shows most women in Japan would rather work full time than having a part time job and depend on a husband. Why would they quit it? Do you think most women want to be housewives depending on someone?
@@P.90.603 you clearly not considering the issues a family face when only one person is responsible for the money. A man leaving his wife is the least of the risks. How many women are victims of domestic violence?! And they can't leave because they depend on their husbands. Money belonging to family is wonderful in the ideal world. We were talking about why women in Japan now would rather being single. I commented another reason for this and ended saying this issue won't solve. How does you opinion add anything to this birth rate issue?
When your existence is dependent on money, emotional issues and pursuits seem to take a back seat. Odd that we push aside one of the most wonderful reasons for being here to pursue financial emptiness.
Sorry for all my comments- *but a lovely reminder to infertility couples:* If the women are too old to give birth, adoption is always very much a wonderful option! So many children are in need of a Loving Home w loving parents who want them! Bless those who give a child the gift of a Good Family!
@@eloffmusk I've seen some of that on TH-cam. They lower their income standards I guess because the SEA men are warm and personable. Far less infatuated with 2D women and idols, so more active in bed. Wow, that many women? Yeah, no matter I see them travelling without men. And they're not difficult.
Well it’s a world wide issue of idealistic thinking, not only in japan. Yes financial aids may provide temporary living relief but root of the problem is with the constant exposure to social media that causes Asian woman in general to turn delusional and expect their male counterpart to fit these ideals. Until the day when we are able to differentiate realism and idealism, problem will persist
Go back to before the internet and TV or even glossy magazines and people interacted with each other more. You had factory workers intermingling with one another. They had more of a community spirit where everyone knew their neighbours and would help one another during tough times.
@@Mopantsu That community spirit was at the expense of autonomy. It only seems better then because we look at the past believing they provided needs we currently don't have. That community spirit isn't compatible with the increase autonomy the modern world offers, and thus needs to adapt to keep up.
There are many factors that are contributing to this problem. I'm a single men, 35 years old, living in tokyo, good income +$100k/year and the reason i won't get married or have kids its because in these times woman are just impossible... they are always looking for the perfect man, tall, rich, etc, the millionaire movie star or company magnate, even if you manage to get a date with a woman these days, one mistake and you are a goner, after some tries i decided to not wasting my time or money into this. Other aspect that made me take this decision is that the law over protects women, in a trial between a men and a woman, men have %90 chance of losing and this means supporting the woman economically even if you have nothing to do with her... that's crazy so, risk management is important.
Exactly. I got into it on another comment thread with some obviously "over-inflated egos." I talked about how at 50 I met a 20-something Finnish woman. The EgoFems got all excited and mentioned the age gap, put her down as living in poverty, and wrote things that clearly demonstrate their disdain for our connection. One mentioned about how her desperation brought us together and how I am some kind of predator. The Finnish woman comes from the upper middle class, and she is getting her Master Degree in less than one month. They put her down as some desperado. They are, "to a T," the kind you described
Nobita, You raise an interesting issue that is related to the culture in Japan and the dominance of employers who insist on working employees such long hours for relatively low pay. Women realize that marrying may result in them having to do all the child care and domestic work, while men must work long hours (and that doesn’t include his hours he may send at an Izakaya after work). That isn’t saying all families are left in this situation, but the demands & trends of working long hours affects the quality of family life. Marriage is supposed to mean you share a life together. It is supposed to mean there is trust and a more equal distribution of time, work and family chores. At the same time, women are playing a greater role in the workforce, if only to deal with the rising cost of rent and cost of living. If we looked at Japan’s major cities, we would find the cost of living significant. Japan’s demographers and economists realize the birth rate is declining, and that also related to having to hire workers from abroad. If the culture is not entirely comfortable with foreign workers, then the rate of domestic births must compensate to provide workers for the future. If employers themselves are among those who are not comfortable with hiring or training or paying a competitive wage to foreign workers, they have to realize they have contributed to the problem by working people such long hours and impacting family life. It’s not an easy problem to solve to get more women to develop relationships that lead to marriage. Traditional views say that women & men should get an education, marry and settle down. But the pace of life & cost of living in cities may be affecting how people date and court. It takes some time to know a person and feel confident enough to share a life together. It usually doesn’t happen as quickly as in a romance novel. Long work hours, unchanging pay scales, stubborn employers who insist on getting ‘value’ from employees are part of this picture. Perhaps family counselors and social workers need to offer services to help young couples develop stronger relationships. I also sense the government needs to set some limits on work hours. Just letting employers & industries dictate the current pace and hours of work isn’t prudent or fair. The women you interviewed seem quite attractive and aware of the issues affecting relationships, but we don’t know how young men or employers feel about the topic. It seems more awareness and more active participation are needed to make the changes. It is good and timely for you to raise this topic.❤😊
Our culture needs to change so that children and family are the most important thing, because they are. Economic growth can take a backseat to people living a normal decent and happy family life. Also we are all too educated in technical areas and not in life wisdom. People need to pull back on the maths learning and do life learning at a younger age.
Most people are selfish deep down and are in competition with others through peer pressure (if you don't own X you have no value). They are told by the government and media that they must 'consume' and become debt slaves instead of living within their means. I would rather be poor and have a loving wife and children than rich and alone. Unfortunately for me I am poor and alone because no woman see's me as of any value.
i’m confused at 6:13, so a contributing factor of japan’s low birth rate is women wants to be housewives, rely on husband to bring home enough dough, but they can’t = have to work so dont want to have children. While other countries’ low birth rate is because women don’t want to be housewives and want to work to be financially independent with/without a spouse. 😂
The paradox in Japan and in other developed countries is that if both partners work, house prices, rents, etc., rise in proportion, so nothing is gained standard of living-wise. The only solution is to ration jobs to one person per couple with children, but clearly that's unacceptable, especially to the government, who rely for tax income on everybody working and earning all the time.
My wife and I were able to conceive, however the thought that there would be issues in conceiving and the risk of chromosomal abnormality was on our minds because of her age (39). We did pray for some expensive tests that were not covered by the national health insurance program, but they showed us that the baby was developing well and did not show abnormalities. We hope to try for another child, but those fears still remain for us. Due to the extensive testing required for older women, it's no wonder that many people at that age think it's too expensive to have a child.
@derek4412 it's not that they are never taken; even my own mother submitted to testing as a result of her age. To be honest, in the US the tests are absurdly expensive, but luckily here in Japan, the tests are affordable, just above normal rate. For economic purposes, testing in Japan is much cheaper by comparison to the US, but expensive compared to the average Japanese salary.
@derek4412 it's not that they are never taken; even my own mother submitted to testing as a result of her age. To be honest, in the US the tests are absurdly expensive, but luckily here in Japan, the tests are affordable, just above normal rate. For economic purposes, testing in Japan is much cheaper by comparison to the US, but expensive compared to the average Japanese salary.
@@Uj-rf1pq a lot of people don't realize that there is an increase of autism in children when the father is over the age of 40, it could also a good idea for the father to get checked if he and his wife are the same age.
It's old seemen that causes the spectrum kids. It's not the woman and to say that is a bold face lie. Just like men used to say women chose the sex. Just another bs lie men made up to keep boinking younger girls. Old seemen makes all these kids with sooooo many problems now a days. NOT old women. Women have kids in their 60s. A healthy woman who's community/doctors didn't mess with her reproductively doesn't hit menopause until her 60s. Men make excuse after excuse, call it "science," however, anyone with a brain knows it's just older dudes trying to deflect their need to boink teenagers and young women and blame it on older women, so that way men have an "excuse" to "need to for medical reasons" boink/marry a teenager/20 year old. We ain't falling for the ruse over here in the states. Sorry pal. They do it even in the religious circles...in the buy bull...Mary was an old woman when she conceived JC. The men, who say women shouldn't speak or teach, say Mary was a young 12-16 year old girl. It doesn't say that. It clearly says she was OLD when their man made savior was created/in vitro aka immaculate CONception. Call complete bollucks on how Japan treats and "teaches" it's women.
I would be curious to know what the attitudes are regarding adoption in Japan. I was just thinking that some of these women who are reaching the end of their fertile years might be more open to adopting children.
From what I've seen in videos like this they have a strong dislike for adoption, many old the grandparents would not think the child was part of their family. They do not have the same ancestors. It's really cruel that so few kids end up adopted.
Why would they adopt someone who isn't their own, as if that's the same thing? If no Japanese person is even having kids, who are they adopting? Africa, the only place above replacement birthrate? Should they bring in all of Africa, as if raising a child who is genetically completely dissimilar from you isn't completely dysfunctional?
@@IflieIt's not cruel, it's wise. You cannot just adopt someone completely unrelated to you and expect that to be the same as having kids that are actually yours.
Raising kids is hard and expensive these days. I dont have any myself but i see alot of single mothers out there struggling to raise their bastard children alone. I dont blame the japanese women one bit for not wanting that future for themselves. If anything it is probably the smartest thing to do. I wish more American women were smart enough to adopt this trend
They're not going to. Sexual liberation remember? Women are out here moving just like men. It's not a matter of being smart enough not to do it. It's a matter of not giving a fuk about consequences. America is in a state of social decay and normalized degeneracy. Japan while it has its problems. Hasn't reached that extreme. Their culture and traditions are still there to some degree
keyword - "single mothers" that's the problem right there. hard and expensive is never the real reason. it's just an easy excuse. it's always been hard and people have done it throughout the entirety of history with less money/resources. nobody should be trying to raise a child alone (unless spouse died, but then they should still have family to help)
@@rokko_fable If those people could have had an easier way, they would've chosen it very quickly. Just because they did it, doesn't mean they wanted to. Let's stop normalizing struggle life, because it's a lot of stress, the family isn't happy, the kids aren't happy, it's very much dysfunctional and that's one of the major reasons society is how it is today, because of dysfunctional "families" and ignorant use of religion to trap people. And most people aren't trying to raise a child alone, the problem is that one of the parents decides to bail and not fulfil their duties towards the child they helped create.
Women got educated and financially independent. So they didn't have to get married and remain married however unpleasant the marriage was. The men still expect women to be inferior when they turn into wives. As daughters and sisters they have achieved equality. But the job of wife is still considered inferior by the husbands. So why would most women want to choose that life/job. Women have upscaled. Men haven't or haven't needed to.
The single men aren't dating because they have not improved their life enough to attract women in this day and age. She said all of the attractive guys are already married, that's because they already improved their life and built up the courage and confidence to go out and socialize to attract her.
But whether they've improved their lives enough to have the courage and confidence depends on their ability to afford and provide for such a lifestyle. Wages are so depressed that this is no longer possible. The only way any of this changes is by increasing wages by depleting the over-all workforce.
That just means women are searching for a finished product; waiting at the finish line expecting to not help build his empire which he would share with them then willingly if they were present through the process. In other words, the men view women as gold diggers who have no investment in the success of the men have created, they're not putting in the effort to grow with a partner but to collect a prize. So men are resentful as being treated as a utility and disposable. Men are checking out until collapse and then will rebuild society and there will be requirements to benefit from it. Ungratefulness will no longer be tolerated.
Feminism is a BIG problem, as it further instills some problematic concepts like "don't work for your/the man". Which leads to: "only wait for men at the finish line, rather than build them up to get there". While simultaneously competing with said men, which both moves the goal post AND diminishes the amount of job opportunities. THEN, if a man turns his life around, there are likely chances that he will feel some (justified) resentment towards the women his age group who wouldn't have given him the time of day prior, added to the fact that his newly acquired resources now gives him options past the women who previously waited at the finish line. Independent of the moral judgement passed on feminism, one has to look at it as a destabilizing, unsustainable mechanism.
It’s logical me thinks. Before: men chose women they liked. Women were glad to be chosen by any man because otherwise they’d be a financial burden to their family. Men didn’t have to be the “chad” to be in a relationship, because women rather settle with someone that isn’t ideal than to be single. Now: women can choose as much or more than men. Everyone is on the choosing side, so you would have to choose each other to form a couple (odds are low). Men pretty much have to be “chad” because otherwise women won’t choose them, since women rather be single than settle for someone that isn’t ideal.
I am working in Marunouchi and wouldn’t even ask a woman for coffee or lunch but happy to go with the lads. It’s just become too sensitive to even think of asking. Have to wonder why it became like this.
Man, it is such a tragedy to me to see Japan become the nation it has today. The culture is wonderful, but if the people die out, there will be nothing left.
I think we can summarize this to a lack of proper communication between both parties. Relationships are complicated. We allow ourselves to be vulnerable towards someone else. They know our secrets, and we trust that person. It's hard to choose someone to be that person in our life.
I think a lot of people have become complacent. By that I mean the living standards have improved so much today that one can survive comfortably on their own, people are able to be more self-reliant and self-sufficient. Also, there are much more choices and options in terms of services, entertainment, travel, etc. The result is individuals find it hard to give up this freedom and lifestyle; it has become too convenient and comfortable to live alone.
There's too many damn people anyways. I wish I could live 150 years from now when there's so many fewer of us. It's so damn crowded. You think people are going to have families in their shitty little noisy box apartments? 😂👎
True my parents come from a 3rd word country a lived during a civil war. my grandparents lived during french colonisation of their country. I live in the west and even in this "hard times" for my lineage is the best time, i wish people see the positive
Long working hours it is, and people are not open about their feelings, is the 2 major factor. Culturally we all need to improve ourselves to build healthy environment before pushing anyone to marraige
These women seem picky..I make over 24m yen a year no children and I dont know if any of these women would pay any attention to me as they look at the negative first....seems unrealistic expectations instead of reality...they are very nice looking though and seem intelligent I lived in Japan for a couple of years...great country and people
We've created a global economy and sociological environment that is so stressfull that ordinary people can't thrive in it. And a declining birthrate is the result. Reduce stress among the populus and you'll see birthrate increase again. But that's not happening in the coming decades at least.
@@lucadesanctis563 We could have sustained such numbers just fine if we didn't mis-manage our positions of power by giving them to the most broken, least empathetic people imaginable.
Thats how Japan's logic works. And an obvious deflection to whatever America is doing. Which shows people are always watching us and trying to be a part of the same energies they claim they're above.
It's not just Japan. Many developed world has this trend. Career oriented, but the problem is that it takes decades to establish a successful career. Then, before they know it, they are 35-40 years old, reaching an age where having kids is not practical. It's also getting very expensive to raise a child in these parts of the world. Most of the time, couples have only 1 child or no child at all. These countries have a dilemma. Because of low birth rates, they face a rapidly aging population in which retiring citizens would not be replaced, creating an economic disaster that will most likely force higher taxes. They most likely need to relie on migrants to replace the aging population. We are already seeing this in a small scale.
I keep saying this about the whole working culture issue, as it is heavily related to Karoshi (death by overworking) and it's happening in other countries as well: humankind needs to change the views about work culture and the way the entire economy works. Japan seemed very promising 10 years ago with the robots that were being developed. Alas, the progress has stagnated and those robots are now just mere curiosities, not something that can actually improve productivity exponentially in order to get an abundance of goods and services and people may work administrating the robots and earn a lot more money and also have more free time. That's what is supposed to happen, those are the expectatives, but that hasn't happened yet and it may take too long. I still hope Robotics and AI are key to help solve all this problem, I just hope it won't be too late. On the other hand, life standards themselves have raised way too high, so it becomes almost impossible to achieve anything and everyone ends up frustrated. Hypercompetitiveness makes working culture and standards unbearable, (hence death by overworking happens as well). And then there's the age issue. It's way much harder to fall in love when you're already old and your body is not full of hormones as it was when you were younger and ready for it at 18 years or so. Having to await for such a long time just to have a good education and a good job just to be able to undertake the task of being a parent wears off those feelings as well. Infertility is the result. Robots and AI changing the economy into an abundance system may sound utopic, but it must happen, or the rest of humankind will also find themselves into similar dead ends. A housewive's work would be alleviated a lot with robots that help take care of housekeeping, babysitting, etc. Also farms would greatly benefit from tech advances such as the ones being made in Israel and Netherlands, (3D printed meat, agricultural improvements to get more food using less resources, etc.) I would personally like to find a way to meet a Japanese girl to marry with, but I have seen their standards and just by what I heard it's going to be insanely hard for me, specially since I am from a 3rd world country.
isn't it weird? throughout the 19th and 20th century, there were countless articles and ideas about emerging technology being able to lessen the workload and allow people more free time. 4 day work weeks! 6 hour work days! 3 day work weeks! and while that did happen a bit (a lot fewer people toiling all day on farms) and housework is greatly decreased (washing machine is a big one) the end result is people are still pushed to be as productive as possible to line the pockets of a few. human greed knows no bounds.
@@janedough6575 so if you were in a space colony, you would prefer to eat insects rather than real meat produced with 3D printing and cells? Good luck with that. 3D printing meat has the potential to solve world hunger and make everyone's life easier, reduce food costs, but whatever.
Which one is frightening, to deal with a women's life as far as giving birth and making sure everything is right in or a in man's life, dealing with all elements that try to bring the whole family down... Reality it is incomparable.
you said something's not right because even beautiful women don't find someone to fall in love with, but I think that's completely wrong, society has been forcing people to a love and family model that is just not for everyone. Also it shouldn't be treated as weird when someone doesn't find the right person to share their live with, it is just unnecessary pressure for a thing that shouldn't be forced in the first place
"if that's the case i think they will regret" : Absolutely not , freedom is better than being constantly harassed by a woman that puts pressure on you all the time. ^^ No regrets to have, men , live your life as you wish.
Cost of living is higher everywhere and women no longer have the choice to work or not. One income isnt enough. So women don't want to have kids anymore. How do you work an 8-10hr day, raise kids, cook and clean for a household by yourself and not go batshit crazy from all the stress and strain? We are all working too much just to survive and feed ourselves, who wants to creat additional mouths to feed?
Nobita, your friend said that the quality of Japanese men nowadays is very low. It could be a very interessing thing to talk about in your videos. How many Japanese men study some traditional Japanese art? What is the annual reading average? How many of them works on anything besides his job? Our personality is made of those things. The romans would call it 'ocio' (leisure) and 'neg-ocio' (not leisure, business). Nobody can be interessing whitout work on making himself interessing. Someone can marry with a person because of his income, but no one will fall in love with income. Thank you very much. I love your videos and they are so very useful and rich.
"Empowering whamen resulted higher divorce rate and lower the birthrate". There are other factors as well such as long working hours, low purchasing power and so on contributed to this issue...
The problem is with men who still don't wish to treat women as equals. Women take equal responsibility at work, men still don't want to take equal responsibility at home and with kids
So you mean women had a choice and suddenly they don't want to be with men and have children? And you see this as a problem of women and not a problem of men and society? Yeah let's beat those women into place. We need them breeding so they can make more drones for the sake of corporate profits. For the sake of late stage capitalism everyone is a slave and a serf for corporations. And yet many see it as some stupid man vs women thing. Don't you think it's strange that children are seen as only a woman thing and working for some company is only a man thing? And yet through most of history it was men and women working together on the farms and things like that. Working together as parents. But now we are all cogs in a machine. We aren't even human beyond our roles.
@@KateeAngel Also, all the married men I know don't talk like embittered 5th graders. I'm just saying maybe it has something to do with incompatible a)worth ethic b)intelligence c)both
As many of the people in this video say, "if this were to happen, then this would be the results....". It is cliche, but true. For the first time ever in history, more women are working and women are making more money than men on average. What do they need a man for when she can pay all of her own bills and live her life? And for Men, getting a stable and reliable job is very difficult. The average job last 7 years now. As opposed to when the war generation grew up. The people worked jobs, 20, 30 years until retirement, had full benefits and good pay. When the Auto and Plane industries crashed, jobs that paid 40, 50, 60 dollars and up are now paying 16,20, 30 dollars an hour.
@@chocolatesquirrel2002Because they pretend not to understand where that "gap" comes from in order to wallow in a victimhood-based identity. Motivated reasoning, not a search for the truth.
@@oroville12345actually how much you make is just as important as saving and investing. If folks aren't being paid livable wages and barley making ends meet how are they supposed to live?
Because a lot of women feel like having children and a husband is a burden. I recently had to quit my job because I gave birth 5 months ago, I am relying on my fiancé financially and it sucks.
Do you mean you had sex with a man who you didn't know would/could take care of you if you got pregnant, and now the taxpayer or some other party is footing the bill because you choose "freedom"?
32 German, single for 9 years now... damn.. i would really love to find a woman to build up a cozy romance based on the same mindset. But it's so freaking hard out there... the expectation of woman are unrealistic high and over all idk man... i feel like i'll never find true love in this life... :( The only hope or small releave is knowing that this happens all over the world, not just here in Germany... I do hope and wish for all humans to find their love for life... Damn, my heart feels like a black hole.. nearly not existing anymore. Feeling extremely lonely even if i have a famaily... and just 1 friend who moved far away... Just working 9-10 h 5 days a week and watching YT or play a pc game here and there... my life is boring as F....
Good point. I bet these "herbivores" have been shot down so many times they gave up. I made approaches with this type of female when young and they were painfully shy and would reject me across the board. And, not just me. Only if the man was pre-selected would they go out and often these guys were bad-boys. And, they were too focused on marriage unless the guy was a hot bad-boy whom they submitted to. One time I met over 500 females from the country discussed in this video and there were 250 in the nightclub with only 3 men. I couldn't get even one to go out with me (ditto the other two guys). We all struck out. When I spoke with a few of the ladies, they were all in love with an idol male star. When I explained that the idol star has no idea who they even are it didn't matter. They had placed "love" on an imaginary fantasy man. I don't know what more to say.
I’ve said this before but in America there’s been an increase of women being childless and alone well into old age. There’s various reasons for this yet from my observation it’s been the behaviors and ideologies they’ve absorbed as well as thinking men are their enemies. Again there’s various reasons.
Dating apps are causing women to be picky and then they select from a small pool of men. The rest of the men give up on dating as they can't get any dates.
It needs to be more practical for women to keep their careers while raising a family. With such a highly educated and work-prepared population of women, it's only logical that a considerable percentage of those women will want to keep the career they studied and worked so hard to attain... The fact that marriage = children = quit job has a huge impact on Japan's birthrate, I believe. If women balancing work/family life was made a priority, men wouldn't have to worry so much about their own low salaries anymore, too... But as other commenters have mentioned, all developed societies' birth rates tend to go down...so if Japan is really serious about reversing population decline, they need to step up their immigration game.
Japan is not ready for immigration. Just a few tourists behaving badly, and they already talking foreigners are a nuisance. Lots of politicians within the ruling party use this for their political gain. Next, a new phenomenon is that certain foreign expats from certain countries are against immigration from certain countries to Japan.
Yuka is very lucky found a supportive husband since many foreign men in Japan date but then just dump them or unsupportive after marriage. Hats off to Daniel!
she is very lucky considering how old she is, but you can tell her man is weak for spending all that money on her ancient body. what was she doing in her 20's?
For God sake, it's not "wrong" men or women fault it's the cost of living which is skyrocket in the last 20 years compared to salaries. Some things became cheaper like clothes, gadgets but the most important: rent, medicine, education, child care services are continuing to grow in price.
i feel we all experiencing this around the world. truth is the world is going through a hard time. Our economies are not doing well and thats why there's so many single people over the age of 25. Our parents before us lived during good economic times so they were more open to the prospect of marriage. today making a family will need BOTH people in the marriage to work to live daily. If both do not work then all these little problems affect them. "Just go date and get married" is easy to do but when you live through struggle you feel a responsibility not to drag yourself and other people together into such a life of struggle. Its all to do with the cost of living.
The globalist billionaires have milked the populations for centuries and now we are at an inflection point. The system of usury is collapsing which is why they wish to both depopulate and control us using technology (Digital ID and CBDC etc). FIAT collapsed in 2008 and they have been patching it up until the time was right for their 'Great Reset'. The pandemic was their opportunity to kick it into gear (which is why many suspect the pandemic was a 'plandemic').
My grandparents lived from the 1900s through the great Depression. They earned something like $1/day and had 5 children, bought two houses. Their focus was on the family.
that's nice but I'm sure they struggled and i think many of us today are more aware of the responsibilities of caring for children. personally, i grew up in a large family too and yeh, we kind of lived in poverty. it was hard and i dont think i want to repeat that@@bjung8858
Thank you so much for watching!! Let's not be too harsh on anyone in this video!
Sometimes get positive news please.
I fell sorry for japan 😢.
it's clear it's not just one person or group at fault. Everyone's attitude and society is just a vicious downward spiral. I couldn't help but shake my head at what everyone had to say. It's like we are watching a majestic creature dying slowly because it refuses to eat, and we can't do anything to help.
Sadly, Western society is not far behind with this.
most of them are lying, they do want to get married, but men dont propose to them any more. Due to the family law men have zero rights, after divorce they lose everything including their children, women on the other hand, get the most profit. And not to forget the cosmic expectations women put on men nowadays
can you pronounce black people
What happened to women? Simple: feminism
Marriage and starting a family use to be the main tool for a women to survive in the world. If you cant find work, you'll need a husband to take care of you. And the best way to do that was to offer the ability to start a family. Nowadays, a women can survive entirely on her own and so men have gone from be a survival tool to a luxury. And people are naturally more nitpicky with a luxury item. When you dont need a man for survival, then theres no reason to settle for anything but the highest value man.
For their part, men have notice that their prospects of finding a mate are so low that its just not worth the effort. For many men, if you dont have a family to support, theres not point working yourself into an early grave to earn money. These men are free to take lower paying jobs that are less stressful and use their free time on themselves. Of course, the low pay also reinforces their unattractiveness as potential partners to women.
, a women can survive entirely on her own ?
no you spelling ", a women can leech off from society other than a single man" wrong
This deserves way more likes and attention
Very nail on head.
Pretty much sums up this video
As a woman...I don't understand why men don't want more from life and don't see the value of making themselves "family ready" for when they meet the right woman.
I see so many men meeting a woman they adore but can't play financial/work place catch up fast enough and she has to leave for a more ready man -who did put in the work early on.
its not just Japan its all over the world
it's anywhere Westernized where the effects of the sexual revolution are manifest and female sexual behavior is unregulated
having sex EVEN ONCE has lifelong ramifications on pair bonding mechanisms
@@user-lh3rc3ss1y True!
Countries with feminism. ALL of them. I mean starting from 1st wave.
@@user-lh3rc3ss1y because they are free of the feminist virus.
Thanks feminism!
Long work hours, low pay, and rising inflation burns anybody out. My friends in Mexico have bigger extended families. It's common for entire families to pay for a single house together, share resources and raise kids together in a group. I noticed that the more individualistic families struggled more, while the communal ones had a bigger support network. Just thought I'd share this.
Im Mexican and I must say that youre right, we have problems like the ones in USA but in a very very smaller amount and is probably because we are more family minded whereas in USA there is a more individualistic mentality, which has its own positive aspects aswell
@@chocolatesquirrel2002 I think you're right on spot. My relatives in Mexico have that support network. And a friend earned can lead to a full family befriended. More potential support. The con was if you didn't get along with someone important in the family, then that could sometimes lead to other challenges. In the USA I could live beside my neighbor without knowing anything about them. In Mexico it's almost impossible for me not to know something, for better or for worse 😅
Same for countries below china
Cajuns were similar until a generation or two ago. Still, it’s common for Cajuns to live in the same area as the rest of their family, even if they do not share a home.
Because you have feminism that leech of the cooperation so that everyone suffer. Men have to work longer hours to earn less to subsidy feminism. With feminism you can never have a birthrate over 2.1. ALL OVER THE WORLD IS LIKE THAT. Blaming other thing is just Bullshit. Every the absolute wasteland of aftrica can have a birthrate way higher than the west (and japan) . Because they dont have feminism.
As a 35 years old unmarried woman who loves children, I legit cried when I learned the lady in the last couple got pregnant. Congratulations and may she have a safe delivery and may they have a happy family.
Is ibtissem an Arabic name?
@@MA-gu2up yes, it's an Arabic girl name and it means 'smiling' ☺️
@@ibtissempharm8800
Oh, my first language is Arabic, I thought it would be written as (ibtissam)
@@MA-gu2up lovely, mine too. Yeah, some people write it like that, both are correct.
@@ibtissempharm8800
Okay
You said you love children, well, if you want to have ones of your own, may Allah bring you a good man. (you are probably a muslim if your first language is arabic)
The work culture has to change
And the abysmal pay relative to living costs
The money is not the problem. Explain why poorer people are having more children.
We have enough money in the wealthy countries. The real problem is the enforced disruptive intersexual behaviour that I am not allowed to describe here, because of google censorship.
Unstabilizing behaviour is being supported, while stabilizing behaviour is being punished (kids, marriage, monogamy, hard work).
@@asdfghjjhgf The higher women's expectations become, the lower the birth rates.
Men will have to charge
@@nocturnaljoe9543I was raised in what you call a " poor country " and I have no intentions of getting married or having kids . I ve seen enough abuse of women from their husbands and I would rather die alone than give up my career for such men . This is why women started to not want to get married anymore in my home country .
My sister , for example , got married, and her husband, like big surprise, started to hit her and abuse her verbally and threatened to ruin her career , she s a pharmacist , and he quit his job after marrying her , she managed to have two kids from him within 3 years of marriage and then kicked him out of the house , that btw she owns . And he had the audacity to call her names and that she s ungrateful for what he did for her ( maybe he talking about the lame sex , idk lol ) Tell me who wants to get married in these conditions? Cuz I would never
Women became better and men refuse to change
Honestly, I still think a big part of the problem is modern Japanese social culture. Nobody really seems to communicate in healthy ways. So many Japanese dislike confrontation and discomfort that they don't really discuss issues until they become major, and most of them just ghost out of the connection altogether. Ghosting is a huge problem as well.
Ghosting is pretty common everywhere in the world now
i didn't even know the term "ghosting" until I was studying in Japan. it's absolutely dispicable behavior, and it has become more common elsewhere too.
Well dating is pretty much forbidden until college, girls and boys never learn to actually communicate as equals. Even marriage is more like a business arrangement for the sake of 'duty' of children.
This!! If there is one stark difference you notice from the US and Japan is how separate men and women seem, from students to professional settings and even among friends, there is a noticeable divide. Add on that Japanese people are very shy about sex, I could see how communication could become a problem between men and women.
Seeing how things are changing in Japan, I think it would benefit couples to discuss gender role expectations with each other. We each have our own idea of what a "man" or "woman" should take responsibility for, but this expectation differs from person to person, depending on your upbringing, etc. Maybe a man wants a traditional wife, but she has her own career ambitions. Maybe she needs his help with other things to reach those goals, like sharing the responsibilities of cleaning and cooking. If they don't discuss what they need/want from each other clearly, of course both sides will feel frustrated, and they will argue and resent each other.
Unhappiness in a relationship is more than often due to lack of communication. It's easier to lie, distract or do nothing at all than confront your partner about your deep fears and weaknesses, your disappointments, or even private matters like sexual preferences, fetishes, controversial opinions, etc. It sucks to be vulnerable, but that's what being in a relationship is about! If you don't have that trust and happiness...you cheat. And I don't know about you guys, Japan sure seems pretty soft on cheating compared to the US. This is ofc my opinion based on observation since I lived in Japan in the early 00's and moved back here last year.
@@kellharris2491 That's... not even close to true. Hell one of my students (High School, first year) just introduced me to her boyfriend.
Thank you so much for interviewing us Nobita as part of this video! We had a fun interview and hope our story can give hope to other couples struggling with infertility!
Thank you for sharing your story.
Good luck to you both. Freya smile upon your union. SKÅL
You guys are an inspiration to us all
Hello thank you for sharing,so can we foreigners come to Japan to join the IVF program ?
He did an excellent job and I know it was not at all easy to be able to interview some of these people.
Where and when are we supposed to meet people? It seems like every place to meet someone either costs money or is slowly being shut down.
That's if you even have time to socialize after work, house chores and sleep.
This is what ultra liberalism is , a poison for love and life in general.
Go to the park. You will be surprised. Some people are regulars there and you will see the same faces again.
Capitalism. Workers socializing isn’t profitable in the short term so there’s no incentive for any institution to promote already existing social forums. On top of that a well-organized well-socialized populace is a direct threat to the systems of power in our society. So there are actually incentives for the institutions to limit our access to each other and to make it as difficult as can be for people to make friends.
Parks, workplaces, universities, social media, public libraries (though, almost no one goes to these ones anymore)
@@frostychicken3652 "Capitalism" has existed as we know it for at least 100 years and the issues that we are currently facing didnt exists back then. This is a modern issue, trying to blame it on capitalism is simplistic and doesn't really provide any solution. China is not capitalistic and is also experiencing the same issue. It seems is more like an issue steming from contries developing and changing the family and community organization, or in short, individualism. Maybe it turns out all religions focused on family, marriage and gender roles so much for a reason.
Hypergamy + Social Media = Impossible expectations -> disappointment. Also, it doesn't help that people can barely sustain their own life.
Hypergamy is just incel BS, though. Most people know what their league is and most people end up with their looks-match. Relationships work best when people are in the same league, and subconsciously we know that
The issue is most likely the economy + outdated gender roles that force women to choose between a career or a family. Many are choosing to just opt out of the system entirely
@knusperkeks 2748 don't forget to add western feminism
@purplewitchtarotanddivinat5680 you are part of the problem
It goes deeper than that. The declining birth rate is a phenomenon that has been in the works for several decades.
@@purplewitchtarotanddivinat5680That's actually what a guy from the Forever Alone sub-group (distinct from incels) kept harping on. He kept showing study after study proving that while women have massively inflated expectations on things like dating apps, that those aren't representative of reality where women, just like men, get a looksmatch, as you just pointed out.
However, you are wrong about 'outdated gender roles' being any part of it. The issue is that the outdated gender norms no longer exist. Women should not be expected to work, period, because no one who shares workload ever feels secure in their partners ability to sustain them should they fall in ill health or otherwise.
That's the issue. Lack of traditional gender roles. Not the presence of them.
@Arcessitor you are also part of the problem
I'm a woman turning 30 next year and been living in Japan for 6 years, I'm having so much fun here and love living here and would like to stay here longer while I'm at this age, but I'm so scared that if I continue to live here I will pretty much die alone. During my stay in Japan I've not experienced any romance at all. I'm currently faced to make a decision if I should give up my successful arts career (something I cannot pursue in my home country) and happiness to move back to my home country just so I can find a supportive life-partner
Don’t
Japan is something else. Love life is completely switched off..
6 years with no romance is a long time, especially in your 20s. Why do you think that is?
Interesting perspective. You seem to be equating "life partner" with financial security (gender roles). How about hot passionate romance? How about the live-together with contraception approach that was the norm of the liberation days since the 60's? What I'm observing world-wide, is that only a percentage of ladies want a hot lover (in which case they oftenlive together). And, this percentage seems to be decreasing. Is it that the men aren't hot enough?
Oh wow! Yeah, you should not have to choose between the two!
Dating is scary these days. I tried dating apps but the scenario is so disgusting I signed off. Also you don't know what kind of person might be on the other side. What if you end up with a abuser? It's just too risky.
right!!
How about you start approaching men? Do you want to be catlady?
One contributor to the whole "I can't fall in love/find someone to love" issue is the BIG myth/misconception that "friend" is entirely and utterly separate from "lover".
People segregating the two and not considering friends as potential lovers is ruining peoples' chances. It goes both ways, for men and women.
There are people who will pass up on loyal, genuine, and caring true friends in search of hot romance- that may mostly end up in exploitation/disappointment.
On another hand, some people are not really looking for love- they are looking for a trophy/achievement to put on their life resume- i.e. "Look at me, I've got a hot husband/wife- isn't my life so great?" They look for a life partner the same way HR tries to fill a job opening.
But true love is patient, kind, not envious, not proud, not selfish, and is forgiving.
Contrast that to many a modern person:
-Impatient, always in a rush
-Cold-hearted and indifferent
-Always looking to one-up others
-Narcissistic
-Overly critical, nitpicky, always offended
Many cannot find love- because they don't have it in themselves to begin with. You don't "find" love- you're supposed to have it in yourself so you can share it.
The distinction between friend and lover is important. Genetic compatibility is subconsciously assessed, certainly by women, if a woman can't see you in a sexual light, despite her wanting to spend everyday with you its a subconscious thing.
When a baby is born with defects it is the mother that shoulders that burden, in all animals. Mate choice is very important
I think some people genuinely do want to start from being friends. Unfortunately, "friendzoning" is normalized nowadays. So much so that most people prefer not to be friends as to make it clear that they are interested in a relationship.
This might just be the greatest comment in the entire comment section of this video! Kudos to you, Sir! 🙏✨ I am proud of you! 🤠✨
It is easier to [simply] give up, and invest in an Ai-virtual-girlfriends, like "Cortana".
It is for this very reason, I simply mUst repeat the following words: "Cortana… her 'pusss', really is, all I need...
From her high polygon-count, THICK thighs, perfect symmetry and high graphical-fidelity, to her chat-gpt boosted Ai, Cortana really is the only gal for me…
Also…
Unlike "real" woMenS (and they fake boobiis), ~she will never ageee, nor get hungry. She will never cheat, nor divorce me in place for child-support. - sHe wiLl acCepT meeH, for meh[me]!
Cortana, plus beer [🍺] inside of the belly, is all I neEd to feel content and happy! 😚🤖
...🗿
Very well said.
No one likes CHEATERS, especially JAPANESE WOMEN. 😂
Well, don't marry to a cheater.
@@keeganmcfarland7507 yea a big check 🥴☑️☑️
@@boicegroundbeef7732 Fuck those cheaters!
I think both males and females cheat if they are not happy in their current relationship.
Learn how to please your woman in bed better then.
My husband works for a Japanese company but they are based in American currently and his Japanese coworkers loved being here bc they aren’t work near death there and the reason why they struggled and refer to be in America even if it means they are away from their families. It’s the work culture that is killing marriage like how can anyone function if they are constantly working with no breaks? Also being paid shit and women still being expected to not work on top of that when they should work to help with bills but expected to still do their house work? It’s impractical to get married.
I consider working in America as a slavery. Long hours, low pay, little holidays... So imagine if the Japanese think it is great to work in the US.
@@lukei6255 Nah you just have a very shitty job.
@@lukei6255 curb your privilege, you do not know what slavery is then. Call it exploitation if you must...
Contrarily to what most foreigners believe - that Japan is really easy to get dates; it's not. It's actually extremely hard to date here, if, as a man, you got any preferences.
It mostly comes down to:
- lack of places to meet people
- easy disregard for people (in hives like Tokyo), plenty of fish mentality thanks to social media
- passive culture creates passive behavior (if you go to any nightclub in Tokyo, you'll rarely see any slight intimacy - not even dancing together, let alone kissing or hugging)
What in reality happens is that a few men who stand out usually know their position perfectly and are using it, leaving a lot of hungry girls dissatisfied due to their nonchalant and careless behaviors (which in reality is what makes them attractive in the first place, but not a good long term partner).
In today's hyper social media age, men largely have no patience to 'play the game' - they simply want to get it on - while women naturally need some time to start liking someone. This 'timing' mismatch dissuades men to participate in longer term hobbies or practices where eventually interesting partners show up - and likewise, women avoid places like clubs or bars where stuff gets too quick.
Hobbies in a public area (sports, dances, hiking, workshops etc) are still by far the most natural place relatively compatible people would meet - it is for this reason that men with these kinds of 'common' hobbies + a stable job get married relatively quickly. Majority of my married guy friends in Tokyo are the most average dudes you can meet - often married very beautiful girls - but one thing is very common among all of them: they accept themselves as they are, they don't aim for the sky, they simply do their job and have a stable income (not too much, but not English teacher level) and most importantly have very well dosed hobbies that they never miss.
Contrarily to what you may believe, 'high spec' men and women both are for the most part single - ever since they started being successful. Why is this? Simply put - successful people become successful largely due to a constant feel of insufficiency and a high thirst to prove themselves - leaving no room for romance in their lives - and leaving them extremely confidence-deprived as they enter the dating game. Their relationships end up in disasters cuz both feel insufficiency - and if they end up dating an 'average person', it works only if the 'average person' has enough stoic tolerance to absorb their emotional onslaught.
This problem is much deeper than declining economy.
sounds like you're taking a lot of excuses for not succeeding.
Jats the most intelligent male comment under this video.
By high spec. do you mean financially or does appearance factors into being high spec. coz I imagine those high spec men to have no problems attracting women.
@@Aeris_InJapanpeople like you cause men to not express themselves. Then people like you wonder why men show no interest.
that is probally the thing;
plenty of fish mentality thanks to social media
waiting and waiting for that 1 thats out there caus there is 1 or a 100 but how long will you wait
The reason governments want women to work is TAXES, the government get more taxes from women working also, instead of just from the men.
Facts
Correct in two ways. 1) the taxes and productivity from them working. 2) the fact that as a woman's income goes up she spends much more than an equivalent man. This is why in just about everything governments actually want as much money as possible shoved under the control of women, not men. Because if they get their hands on it, they will likely spend it.
However, we are clearly seeing the long-term effects of this are unsustainable to a society.
The real reason is because most governments are western puppets and they want women to buy Western handbags, perfumes, and makeups
Most people want to work. It is enjoyable. A man can stay at home as good as a woman can. People need to stop criticizing women for wanting to work.
@@yolo-mv5rx Yes but in society a working man accepts the non working women but working women do not accept the non working man.
The problem is that choosing a partner has been overcomplicated by decisions based upon status, earnings and imported social norms on what is considered a 'normal' relationship. Instead of looking at the merits of a person in terms of their personality it's become a 'market' of picking and choosing the 'correct' model. People are choosing their partners like they choose a car. They are looking at the value proposition and not the emotional connection as to whether they are a suitable partner. This means they are disconnected from that deep emotional connection for a loving two way relationship.
Probably because when things go wrong people say "You should have chosen better, you need to choose better" instead of helping
As much as emotional connections matter, someone's "status" or financial resources are important, because if you're going to have kids, it determines the life they're going to have in the future. As for the rest, some countries seem to be more elite minded than others.
@@VixxKong2 Exactly.
No. Even meeting an emotionally available man is tough nowadays. But, I am thankful I did.
@@VixxKong2this right here!!!!! Yup when something goes wrong they always say you should have chosen better. Also I feel like that’s always been a thing except if was the women’s dad that made the decision.
This is an issue that is not just limited to Japan as most people now live in countries where the birth rate is below replacement. It is just that Japan was the first country to go through this demographic transition as they are in the most advanced stage of population shrinking and aging. Sooner or later other countries will be where Japan is right now
It's because the women are educated and financially independent. Every single country developed country where women are like that experiences birth rate decline. Third world countries which are pretty much gta servers have higher birth rates because the women are not very educated but dependent on their partners.
In Italy the birth rate is very low, but we are socially open, no shame, we want to have x and our family structure supports us financially to protect the couples in the early stages, so why? The reason could be many, but my personal view is that we are already too much, so shrinking is natural because living in a constant population growth means less and less resources, opportunities. Black death pandemics during 1300 enriched the remaining 1/2 of the population left alive, then we had Renaissance, but another high birth rate ment poor people expatriate in the next centuries and even nowadays.
Only the stronger families with many assets and marriages still survive
@@quelodequelo Hard disagree. The birth rates are falling because the women in your country are highly educated and have economic autonomy to select their partners. Issue is that they always shoot for the top 10% to 15% of men that are well beyond them but in so doing their ignore the remainder 60% average men who would make great partners but not necessarily as good looking or as successful as the top men in the country.
Every, single, westernized country has this problem but no one has the balls to say it. Africa, parts of south America and south east Asia may have shyte hole countries but they have higher populations because the women's development are stifled by economics and traditionalist values . The notion that Europe has too many people is pure brainwashing to get Europeans to self annihilate themselves and it seems to be working. Every non native European group living in Europe is currently out breeding native Europeans (Belgium being a great example). Meanwhile Europeans with their so called high IQ can't seem to ping the nonsense being sold to them.
You are being eradicated by WEF globalists, wake the f*** up.
Sad but true. It's as if prosperity leads to abundance, abundance to hedonism, and hedonism to self destruction.
This problem is because of abortion, belief in Evolution, and belief in Climate Alarmism.
the woman at 12:20 is also right, it's the people who care about dating the ones that should do something about it if they don't want to end up regretting it, but for people who just don't want to date it's perfectly fine and there is no problem with that, not everyone wants to date and have a partner or family
Imma say this just once for all men around the world, the reason is we never liked child care but we never had a choice, now that we can choose an increasing number of women are living for themselves, and not sacrificing their career and youth for the husband and the kids
Enjoy...your cats, and your destruction of the female population you will not birth.
So you're saying we should take a page out of history and take away your choice again?
We also have artificial wombs making excellent progress, but I guess your suggestion makes sense as well.
@@Eighteenxraythen use the artifice wombs and when that creates emotionally deformed beings who can’t connect with ANYTHING you’ll see how foolish that is. Typical, instead of improving you men would rather threaten. You know what the issues are and don’t want to fix them, so deal with it.
yep that's right. Women think taking care of their own children is work. Okay then. we'll do it. But you don't want that do you? You still want a man to be financially stable so you can come and go as you please. You want the best of both worlds and offer nothing in return. Be honest.
@@LoveK1 females are already emotionally deformed. We will be fixing the problem at it's root.
In New York in their 30's getting married, buying homes and having kids. Really simple. The cycle of life. If you don't want to marry you don't. If you're married but don't want kids you don't have them. None of this is hard or complicated.
Something a lot of people don’t realize or don’t want to admit is love is sacrificial by nature. When you chose to build a life with someone you are also choosing to let go of something else. It goes both ways, you sacrifice a little and your spouse sacrifices a little too. What SHOULD happen is over time you effectively become one person. At least that’s the Christian ideal. You reshape your goals with the other person on mind and make compromises. It’s not easy. However, nothing worth fighting for is ever easy.
and once the kids are gone you dont know who you and your spouse are anymore
Well, if we're talking Christianity, God never intended for humans to go through the things we go through today. Life and relationships were supposed to be *without* problems.
andrew, your comment is all truth.
BTW, making abortion illegal again would solve half the low birth problem.
The other half would be solved if people stopped believing they were evolved pond scum.
Not sure if the comments here are coming from those who actually live or lived in Japan. I often hang out in central Tokyo to socialize and sometimes go to a reservation or invite only bar owned by a very young, ambitious woman. Younger women don't see any value being tied to a relationship and would rather enjoy their youth with their friends for as long as it can last. There's not much else to it. Combined with many services that cater to single women who want to chill and have a good time, it's a better value for them. Also, some of the women I've spoken to in Tokyo are also working long hours and party until the early morning. Work is not always an obstacle.
For men in Japan, it's mostly economics and partially being left out of consideration if they aren't a 10% type. This is only in dating culture and not so much marriage. On the other hand, I also know several people who enjoy being married or seeking a marriage partner while they are still young. As others have said, it's a worldwide phenomena.
I could write more but this is what I mostly witnessed and had conversations about with other younger men and women in Tokyo.
The problem of low birthrates could be half solved by making abortion illegal again.
Let me condense this comment to the guys out there. If you ain't a chad, you're not dating material. Also, those young women are sleeping around with those said chads. So give up weebs.
@@murimurimruiyep nuff said. And that goes for the rest of the world now too. A weeb can get a mid girl maybe; or if he’s lucky might find a pretty girl. But otherwise they get the rejects. Even chads aren’t getting play like they used to.
I say Japan work culture need to be change and paying rate need to go up. Seriously paying rate hasn't go up since 1991 that crazy. There is no balance
The comment section is sad. Japan's work culture is built around the idea you have someone at home which pushes women out of work as soon as they have a baby. Women are gonna be hesitant on picking a partner. Building a society that let's both parent have the time and resource to have children is the be parents. Also having the free time to meet people. Women and men don't feel comfortable taking on the unreasonable amount of work and opting out.
Agreed, why would a woman marry a man who couldn't provide a better life than what she was making prior to her getting married if she has to be dependent on him in a society like this?
@@shelbysycamore637 because maybe just maybe, she can still work her own job parttime (something my mother did even after i moved out).
Furthermore depending on what she does at home she would probably realise that the man is also dependant on her. If she does 80% of the householdchores because he does overtime, why should she call him out for being dependent on her?
It must be so difficult for both men and women now, caught in the trap worries about unemployment, a toxic work culture and changes in social attitudes. Men are working longer hours for less money and women find themelves in the situation where they also have to have work to survive away from their parents. The Showa Era circumstances and attitudes have all gone, but nothing of lasting good has replaced them.
@@tizi087 your mother had to wait for 18+ years of caring for you before she got a part-time job. The government and employers doesn't recognize caring for your child as labor. Though what your mother did was valuable, she cannot go to the social security office and claim benefits for it. An employer will not give her around of applause at an interview when they could find someone else with less employment gaps and more marketable skills. So, I much like other women would prefer to only become a housewife and mother if my husband is able to make a crap ton since we are putting ourselves in a compromising position to make up for the opportunity cost we see giving up.
@@tizi087 regarding household chores and dependency, a woman can work and do the household chores if she's only cleaning up after herself, but working will guarantee more financial stability over her live vs marrying a man who makes the same as her or less but expects her to clean up after him and their children.
Pay attention. Japan is the start. The rest of the world will soon follow.
Already following tbh
No problem, let the human race disappear
@@sumiben5211 Probably for the best. The material world is full of evil. The human spirit doesn't belong here.
In India it is opposite.😅
America has already been on this trend for a decade. 🤷♂️
There's a direct correlation between quality of life and birthrate. As we become more educated and have more opportunities in life, we become drastically less likely to subscribe to relationships or raise children. It used to be mostly men that benefitted like this, but more and more women are seeing such benefits and walking away from the path of marriage and family. Once women catch up to men in terms of living more career/goal driven lifestyles, the birthrates will REALLY plummet.
I learn early in biology that reproduction is essential since we are not immortal. Every living being on earth is the result of very long history of reproduction. I wont call someone educated if they forgot basic biology understandings.
Regret comes for everyone.
False. Rich people have fewer kids and that alone disproves your hypothesis. Birthrates in rich countries back that up (Luxembourg, Monaco, Switzerland etc vs African developing nations).
The irony is, given enough time, these culture will be replaced by more traditional cultures who still prioritizes families.
@@butterfox7442reproduction is essencial in a species survival level, not personal one.
The problem is apps like tinder allow women to access the top percent of men for flings. Then that becomes their standard. Unfortunately only few men meet their criteria. These top percenters of men get all the women but don't settle with them. Then the rest of the men give up and most men and women end up alone.
Japan idol culture is bad. Men focus all their mental and emotional energy on someone they can never have. They feel fulfilled in some way but this is a fruitless way to spend their time and money. These men will end up alone. Instead they should focus their energy on the woman that is available to them within their social circles or surroundings.
Tinder is full scammers and flingers. A lot of men there are fishing for sports, not for keeps. And the people who are serious oftentimes experience a lot of let downs. That can seriously demotivate anybody...
Hypergamy digitally enhanced.
The 90/10(was 80/20) rule exists for a reason
The answers are right there in your video Nobita. It's not only happening in Japan but to a lesser extent, the rest of the world too, the combination of which leads to the lower birth rate. China is the prime example of such thing happening where the lifestyles of the typical Chinese have changed so much that it's hard to keep up. Ask any number of Chinese couples and they say that the reason they have no more than a child is nothing to do with the former one-child policy but rather the economic costs of having more. That, coupled with the cultural norms in China lead to a lower marriage rate and then a lower birth rate.
Something I noticed when I was dating in Japan. Not sure if this is universal.
Whenever I am on a date with a girl, other women at restaurants, outdoor, subway, train station etc often looked at my direction or even tried to make eye contact and smile at me.
It's like their antenna starts ringing and they start wondering , oh that man has a cute girl next to him. Wonder what's special about him. That's the impression I get.
But when I go out just by myself, I almost never have that same experience. It's like I am just another NPC in the background lol.
Women like men who have women. I've had the dame experience. I'm invisible when I'm alone but when I've been out with a girl, I get attention.
Living in japan for 8 years, barriers just to talk is raised so high its so difficult to even talk to some + shyness + low confidence + no communication skills + and if you approach to girls you Been considered as ナンパ/チャライ
Overcomplicating simple stuff than complaining we can't find partners.
Unwillingness to change or put effort leads to same results
THIS. Facts. As a very rule oriented society, meeting a partner is only possible through the established ways. Girls I really want to talk to, I can’t usually find them online or at events I go to. So I took to talking to girls on the street. But here that is seen as チャラい and most girls will just outright ignore you.
I think also a good number of 20-something Japanese girls don’t want or don’t need a boyfriend.
I was talking with a very pretty Japanese lady recently who lamented she couldn’t find a boyfriend. Every piece of advice my friend and I gave her, she replied with 難しい
We told her that if she merely went to a bar or some type of event, she just had to smile at a guy or say hello. Men don’t really get approached often. So if we’re approached by someone, it’s a unicorn moment. I guaranteed her that with her sweet personality and looks most men wouldn’t say no to her advances or to a Line exchange.
No willingness to change. 😅
Let me translate the passive language for you. They’re having “trouble” finding love because they are happy, have good social circles, and have the ability to control their own lives so they don’t have to lower their standards to nothing while being fully responsible for all childcare. Not sure why this is a problem, we have too many people in the world as is. People are still having children. There are still workers out there. Chill.
Let me translate your mistakes in to reality. No, people are not "still having babies." We are facing a total population collapse. Do you know what happens when a younger generation can not afford for themselves and is unable to pay the tax required to look out for the elderly? We are well below replacement rates. In Korea it is 0.78. This is also an increasing trajectory so it is not static, which means in additional years, we will see a population of over 50s make up 80% of the population of all people.
Also the idea that people are happy and have good social circles appears to be contrary to the evidence as well. People are becoming more separate, more isolated and atomised. Communities are dying and loneliness is becoming one of the largest sources of secondary health problems across the developed nations. You might be speaking for yourself and that's fine, but extrapolating out your wellbeing to everyone else is lazy at best.
@@loganblackwood2922 you're confusing people with man and woman. Women are happy to live in a world of just women. It's not an issue to be without a man who is often more of a burden than he realises.
The population collapse argument is another weak one. It happens within countries all the time, where economic viability plummets and young people go off to the city etc old mining towns, old villages in mountains etc that are poor, don't have infrastructure or a govermrnt system to save them. The old women look after each other and they men....do whatever old men do.
Having a baby is natural but much harder on the body than men can comprehend. Women don't see the point in suffering that to brig their child into a malfunctioning society that only want them as pension slaves.
@@steph6109 it seems ridiculous to me that this guy brings up "population collapse" when we probably have hit the 8B mark of people in the world, yet, numbers in a couple of decades will project to 10B.
Population collapse is the least of women's worries.
An unhabitable planet is a greater concern. Sounds like he is only concern is access to women's bodies aka sex.
@@steph6109Well said 👏 👍 👌
One issue I haven't seen addressed is the Japanese custom that the wife of the oldest son take on the responsibility of caring for her parents-in-law -- unpaid, of course. Is this still true? If so, it would be a strong deterrent for a woman to marry an oldest son.
She has to do something
Should we also pay the husband for being the protector of both family sides?
Parents see their kids as a retirement plan, they are almost expected to be taken care of when the kids become adults until the day they die. It’s purely a financial obligation thing in Asian Culture. In China, it’s a whole lot worse because both grandparents are expected to live with the married couple and the man of the house has to take care of them, plus have at least 3 kids as the CCP is “suggesting”.
@@chocolatesquirrel2002yeah, work her own job. Most people aren’t housewives anymore. People can’t afford that.
@@craiver00what is he protecting from ? From other men ? What is the police and army for them ? And anyways Japan is very safe .
Some of the opinions here scared me. How can people not see that many women also excel in risk prone stressful jobs and prefer that a lot to sitting at home with kids. I love Japan but the level of sexism still to be perceived there is really scary.
There are always outliers. You are unaware of worthwhile studies. In Sweden, considered the most egalitarian society in the world, and after decades of pouring resources into "equality," approx. 95% of engineers are men, and 95% of teachers are women. They've had it forced down their throats for half a century, and this still happens.
Yes sexism is so real in this video and the men who talked here trying to, as usual, blame women for all the problems the society is facing.
I noticed also that so called biologist talking with all confidence as if he knows what all women want to do.
@@sumiben5211you don't even have interest in opposite gender don't talk about sexism you woke freak and stay away from the children 🤮
@@sumiben5211 he is a biologist, he's generalizing, you cannot tell what a single woman or man wants but their population as a whole behave predictively. He's not talking about what a woman wants but what a general woman wants.
Very few women are working in risk prone stressful jobs and some women can do those jobs as well as men but still vast amounts of hardworking labour is still done by men, men and women will always be different, it's in our dna, it's not sexiest to point it out, under the law we can be equal and are equal in most of the developed countries.
My mother really wanted to be a housewife, but she was forced into a career by life circumstances. My father was a terrible alcoholic and drug addict. The women in my family all tried to be housewives, but over and over again were met with disastrous results. Most recent one is my cousin, who was recently widowed with three school age children. She deliberately did not go to college or get a good paying job because she wanted her late husband to "feel like a man". Now she is living hand-to-mouth, like most of the women in my family.
why did your mother give a child to an alcoholic drug addict?
It's imprtant for this reason for women to develop a skill as a fall back in case the worst happens. I had a client who did exactly that: She went to college back when it was still inexpensive, her husband died leaving her with a baby, but she was able to provide because she has a degree in which she could get a decent paying job. I highly recommend modern women take the middle path of wanting to have a family but also be educated or have a marketable skill.
This comment section is illuminating. Zero self-reflection from guys and all the blame on women. Reminiscing about the good old times when 'a man was the best thing that happened to a woman' aka when getting married was the only way to survive for women bc of no paths to financial freedom via secure jobs, or suggesting to strip childless women of government pensions in old age(what about single childless men??) Reminds me of this adage - "When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression." Is it any wonder women with choices are choosing to be smarter?
Ywnbaw
Okay so you're saying its "Okay" for women to have unrealistic expectations from men? I'd like to hear your thoughts on the problem and how its the men to blame? I personally believe that both genders share the blame.
These men are incels. The married with children men are living their lives.
What do you expect in the comments.
Especially the last part...focusing on fertility treatments. There's a growing childfree movement around the world and Japan is no exception.
@@steph6109 I expect the unmarried women to put all the blame on the unmarried men and insult them with labels like incel as if calling people names will some how solve the problem.
Toxic work culture, high inflation, the feminist movement are all large contributors to the ongoing birth rate issue.
Misogynist spotted
@@yourfavoritenetcitizen6525 Only an ignorant person would say that.
@@yourfavoritenetcitizen6525stupid! That's d reality⚠️😒💯
Got to say, Japan is strongly influenced by the west though: (The Overtime Issue is there in the country since forever. Showa Era is Over, you can't go back.)
Explain how feminism is part of the problem?
Childless women and men going crazy because a weather lady is dating. People, please get it together.
Incels and cat ladies, you can solve each other's problems
No they can't because cat ladies would still be too picky. Cat ladies could literally go on any dating app and still receive much male attention. Incels can't do that be the definition of incel. There are no truly lonely women because of that (the only exceptions for cat ladies would be heavy medical conditions, but it is clear that ill men are even more lonely)
Unfortunately, these trends are not going to stay the same because society does not drastically change all of a sudden
Old men in South Korea and Japan are stuck in the old mindset: work till you drop. Get up and work some more. it worked to make these countries strong economically, but it's failing miserably now. They need, young, fresh, fearless thinkers who aren't afraid to break traditions: Shorter workweeks, mandatory parental leave with pay, monthly subsidies per child, progressive taxes, cheaper housing, restructuring of the entire education system, transition to remote work and flexible hours, decentralization of industries, etc.
I mean, this stuff has been known for years. There are countless studies out there that show how this can be done. It's going to be a long, slow, painful process, but what's the alternative? The old farts in govt. know it too, but they and their supporters are too afraid, or too close-minded to implement any of it.
What if they are actually forcing a controlled demolition? What if they want the system to collapse?
it's this, but they won't do it, unless they crash
What you are proposing is Socialism. People left to live on meager means. It would mean the country being less competitive and stagnation. Nature thrives on competition. If we do not compete we go extinct as a species. Yes, we can all exists on a basic income and have more free time. But someone has to keep the ball rolling. AI and automation may offer the answer but it's still a long way off being viable.
@@Mopantsu First of all, you're treating socialism as if it's an evil word. Every developed country in this world has levels of socialism inherent to its system, some more than others like Denmark where people pay higher taxes for more government services. They regularly come out on top as being the most satisfied with their lives. And you're acting as if what I proposed is going to negate the free market economy. No, it won't. It's reaching more of a balance, because just letting "nature" take its course clearly isn't working.
AI and automation could be a part of the solution. I personally think it will be, but not without government intervention. If you just let "nature" take its course, the gap between the haves and the have nots will widen to irretrievable levels.
@@cobbs I think he was talking about social marxism. Since that is what is being pushed, right now.
Falling in love = Being physically attracted.
According to official data, most women find most men unattractive.
"Quality of men is low." - Ayane = She finds most men unattracive.
if she finds most men unattractive, she is delusional and denying the reality.
It's because of their colonial mentality and white approval seeking. Attractive for them is basically having european facial features like a small head, sharp jaw, tall nose. And white men find asian women attractive because of reasons that needs a whole article so I'll just skip it.
So overall asian women have white approval while asian men don't.
talking like all these fake women looks like beyonce, shakira and jlo...
most women have complexities from their body and face that's why have : wig fake nails retina fake lips fake butt faking everything and they real selected rich men.
women are a pure hypergamists
It's interesting that the feminization of men in the media has created a society of young women that look at many men as unnatractive and masculinity as toxic.
I would have liked to read these comments, but google authorities say no.
"they can't fall in love" to me this sounds like (a) a man can't solve relevant problems for her, because people don't need a provider anymore (b) media shows idols which are groomed to look flashy the normal man can't compare and the woman always gets an impression to date down (c) modern life gives the woman all the rights when she turns 18 by law so she doesn't have to flee from her family to create her own life. (d) modern philosophy is "if you don't take me as I am you are a narcissist", so both won't change their approach or behaviour to something that is more "datable" or worse every one male and female can keep their full blown arrogance without having to think there is something wrong with them.
All of that makes men not as attractive compared to times before when a man was the best thing for a woman to happen. This is going to be a global trend.
Couldn't agree more. Both men and women have very very very unrealistic expectations of how men or women should look like or should do, feel, how much money to make etc ...
Capitalism has created a value based system. This goes for the dating 'market' as well. Love has become a commodity.
@@Mopantsu I get what you mean, but love has been a commodity through out history as well. Marriage was a purely status and financial consideration. The difference is, there was no bottom to the social barrel: You were doing bad? You could bet there is a woman who is doing worse that you and you are her best option. This doesn't apply anymore, because of a social security net and people doing better than back in history. That's a good thing. However I see a problem in the attitude of people of today: Everyone is on an "min-maxing" algorithm to get their best option in life and there just to many things with the widespread of information that create desires for the next better thing. You are in a constant loop of FOMO and min-maxing yourself and your situation. Fake it till you make it can maybe get you something that is beyond your market value and that is the good life isn't it? So everything is looked at with extra scrutiny "are you my best option?", "life is about me, I want you to change, I'm ok" . We are scoring ourselves higher with an extra margin so maybe we get something outside of our league, because getting something in our league is dating down. We have built a society of extra clever people and think life is an amusement park where the one who gets the best ride has won the whole thing. Everything has become a run on being larger than life, including dating. And I don't think capitalism has THAT power yet.
Sounds to me that yet again, there is a conflict between culture and money.
Dude, it is not the money. It is the little value that average women see in average men. You need to be taller, make more money, be more successfull and you defenitley have to look attractive. This reduces the number of potential partners to a minimum that is being shared by the majority of women.
A small pool of men dominates and because of them all men are being punished.
@@nocturnaljoe9543 this is a simplistic view. There are more factors to it than that. Men are being devalued on purpose by Western Marxism. It's a globalist ideology to population reduction and CONTROL!
Is it that WOMEN are choosing not to get married, or is it that MEN are choosing not to get married?
Both
@@somabalestra1131Did you not listen to what Japanese women expect from the average men,did you?
The median age in Japan is 48.6 years. It has one of the highest median ages in the world. Japan also does not allow very much immigration into their country. The math says it's already too late. Japan's population is ageing rapidly few young people need to take care of greater amount older people as Japan has a very high life expectancy as well. I love Japan and its people, but the math says it won't be possible for them to change this.
they recently shifted their position on immigration due to this situation
That's great news. I've been to Japan, and I really enjoyed it. I like the culture, the food, the sites and the people.@@SomethingNewAMBW
It’s still the most diverse economy in the world and still a leading economy. That won’t change anytime soon. Japanese know how to innovate (which will save them). It’s the rest of the world that is obsessed with the country’s birth rate.
Don't worry they plan to import all these South Koreans and just replace the Japanese.
Sell broken condom 🎉
I’m an Indian guy. I remember when I was 28 years of age and informed my Japanese director I’m going on vacation to get married, he was visibly shocked. He asked my age and gave a perplexed look then. I had 2 kids by age 32. Japanese are so excellent with their work ethic but couldn’t understand something so basic to life is both funny & sad.
In the past, it was also a marriage between two families, not just the couple. I guess that's the biggest change over the decades.
Every once in a while this channel pops up in my feed it's a different channel name.
Who here still remembers "Find Your Love In Japan"?
That Touko Shirakawa lady makes a lot of sense. "So for women, marriage is very risky." She explained it very simply. The women have to be picky and choose either men who earn > 6m yen annually, or men who don't mind having mid careers but will definitely pull their weight in raising children - none of those 'I helped to wash the dishes last Saturday' and feel that they're being 'very helpful indeed'. Because the women have to be picky, the men feel 'hurdle wa takai sugi' and just give up on dating. That sums it up.
Yes, in the Western world (USA particularly maybe?) men also have much lower appetite for marriage, but the reasons can be a bit different: (1) They say that divorce is financially crippling and a lot of men (online at least) just assume that most women are gold diggers and just want to take away half their wealth. (2) With so much casual sex and more prevalence of single mothers, marriage is just not so necessary. Men can have the cake and eat it too - have the benefits of regular sex with a girlfriend and less risks if the couple for some reason need to separate.
Marriage is risky for women ? How about men that get dispossessed because their wives want to try another option ?
I don't know of divorced men around me that weren't left by their wives for another man and never the opposite. If the ex-wife decides to ask for the max, they get hit hard.
@@qrsx66 did you watch the video? Marriage is risky to women in the Japanese society context. Touko Shirakawa explained it in the video as the 'Child Penalty'. Women will have to give up their careers to raise the child, and she will lose over 60% of her salary potential because she won't ever rejoin the work force in full time employment. And Touko Shirakawa also mentioned that in Japan the expectation of marriage is to have children.
What you mentioned about divorce and alimony and women as gold diggers, I also mentioned in my comment as being more prevalent fear to the western world, maybe the USA. Please kindly pay attention.
So the smart thing is to be alone and still wash your sashes and try to take care of a child.... very smart.... lol
@@qrsx66 I literally only know of only one couple where the woman left. I know personally of over 10 where the husband left usually for a younger or more attractive woman. And in Canada women aren't even being awarded spousal support if they are able to work even if they have been a housewife for the last 20 years. It has become very risky for both parties.
@@Yummynomnom123 I don't understand wdym about 'wash your sashes and try to take care of a child'
Blaming men or women for what society has wrought totally misses the point, but appeals to the simple minded.
Lunga vita a questo canale e al suo autore. Unico canale che finalmente parla seriamente di cose Giapponesi.
Idt the problem in the Showa era were the gender roles, but the abuse that stemmed from those gender roles. If men go work and women stay home, and both are equally respected, there’s no problem at all. But a lot of men were like “I have a house cleaner + nanny at home, so I can go play with friends and maybe even cheat cause the wife would never know” and at home, they’d be like “why isn’t the food ready? You have the entire day doing nothing and can’t even have food ready, etc”. Anyone in the woman’s position would want to quit the no-pay labor-intensive abusive job of being a housewife, in those circumstances, but Showa era gender roles didn’t allow women to leave. Basically they had to be household slaves. Can you blame women for wanting to have a career where they can do things and earn respect they otherwise couldn’t?
Don’t get me wrong, with an understanding husband that does what he’s supposed to do under the gender roles, the Showa system works well. However, if such understanding can’t be guaranteed, the modern woman won’t accept going back to being potentially abused.
It’s not just that era. The household dynamics has been the way you describe since the agrarian society all over the world. There’s a thing called genetic memory in psychology. Women know deep down the possible ways things might turn out if the partner isn’t right. This plays a part in being picky at partner selection. It’s almost like men today are paying the price for their ancestors wrongdoings. Very unfortunate situation from both sides.
@@Emptytopfloor I agree and I only mentioned the Showa period because it was alluded to in the video as “something we could potentially go back to”, but it really is just most of history in every part of the world pretty much. I believe it’s a good system if the purpose is to procreate, but I’m not sure humans are worth existing if half the population gotta live in chains withstanding abusive partners because there’s no other choice…
Equating marriage and housework to slavery is the issue, you dolt.
@@FUToob of course the barber will tell you do need a hair cut even if you're bald. If a marriage was beneficial to a woman then we would be rushing into them quickly.
Hope you'all never merry, live freely from a man's control and only have daughters and no sons, if you're gonna have children.
I disagree with some of the suppositions made in this video. While I do agree that going back to a more traditional Japan might mean more childbirths, I don't think the correlation of more marriage = more births is causal. I think culturally, Japan works for more of a stable society, because really, there is no reason why people couldn't have births out of marriage. Take America, for example, where lots of people, teenagers, specifically, have babies with lots of different partners. This kind of situation would increase Japan's birth rate, but those children would likely be poorly cared for, in large part due to a single mother struggling economically to take care of so many kids.
I also disagree with the guy who said more dangerous jobs = better pay. While this may be true on a micro scale, it doesn't on a macro scale. Otherwise, CEOs would have a greater risk of death than being a fisherman, but this isn't true at all. And I don't think that woman who says, "women just like being housewives" is representative of all women. Some men like being at home more, some women like being at work more, and the opposite is also true. So while this video makes some good points, I do think some of the suppositions it makes based on "traditional gender roles" and their impacts is misguided.
Moreso, I think we should pay attention to the researchers. Like the Japanese woman researcher said, women would likely have more children if they felt more economically secure. Hell, a single woman would be more likely to have a child if she was economically secure enough to not have to work and could dedicate the time she felt was right for her family. I mean, what accounts for the reason why birth rates are down in countries with developed economies and educated people? BOTH partners have to work now to make life work, and it just doesn't make sense for a lot of people to have kids anymore.
Shoot, I myself didn't have kids until I was in my mid 30s because of the economic reason. Sure, some of my peers had kids when they were 18, but those people are more likely to rent and less likely to have saved up any wealth that they can pass on to their kids.
More men like being home makers not because of gender roles but because of ideologies being pushed by Western Marxists and globalist interests. Promoted at every level in the institutions of government, corporations and the education system for money and control.
Agreed. Think it's all about the money. Once that is out of the way, most men and women will have kids. With no regards to gender. Imagine you are in your 20's and being paid so much so that you only need to work a few hours in a day. Your income is so high that you can probably retire in your 30's. Do you need a rich partner to marry? Physically, you cannot have kids? You won't have time to take care of your children? If you still chooses not to have children, then it's your personal choice. Most humans have an innate desire to procreate. How do you think humans still exist now? Now, everybody on earth just try working, eating, sleeping and no sex at all. See what happens...
Doesn't the English language come the west a.k.a England and America. Doesn't japan amongst the whole watch study and keep tabs on America? But you got the audacity to showcase your sanctioned ignorance cause you can 🤔😭😭 it always baffles me when people talk sh*t about America when all they gotta do is change the channel. And stop speaking English and copying our sh*t baby!
I knew people who regretted havjgn kids young bc they didn’t even know themselves so how could they raise their kids not knowing how to raise them to be proper humans. I waited a few years before I had my son but even I had a lot of growing up to do
@@markigirl2757 I agree--it's kids raising kids. Humans take so much time to mature it seems. Hell, I'm getting into my 40s and I know I still have a lot of growth to do.
I don't know if this aint't an issue in Japan but giving up a job to be a housewife also means your partner will have to provid everything and you won't have a financial freedom, cuz even if you're married, you're not the one who earned the money. you can't really manage the money, you can't buy whatever you want, it's always gonna be at the risk, at least, of hearing "you're spending MY MONEY. you bought bullshit with MY MONEY". everyone feels upset because the money is not being spending the way they want.
@@P.90.603 and you believe everyone enjoys this lifestyle?
@@P.90.603 and now women are choosing the clear role of working instrad of taking care of children, bc when they work, they have way more freedom (specially financial, but also to run if their partner puts them at some risk) than when they only take care of children
@@P.90.603 and my point is that women in general don't pursue having a family exactly because they don't want to have children, give up their jobs and also give up their financial freedom. When they can keep a job and children, it has to be part-time, which helps a little of the financial freedom issue, but also gets their time. This birth rate problem doesn't seem to have a solution.
@@P.90.603 if a women and her husband both work and like to have their own money, they will have to split housework and, if they have kids, childcare too. If only one (and it's usually women) work part time, they will still have to split tasks considering tiredness. Working or not is a choice and most of the time people would like to to have this choice. This video shows most women in Japan would rather work full time than having a part time job and depend on a husband. Why would they quit it? Do you think most women want to be housewives depending on someone?
@@P.90.603 you clearly not considering the issues a family face when only one person is responsible for the money. A man leaving his wife is the least of the risks. How many women are victims of domestic violence?! And they can't leave because they depend on their husbands. Money belonging to family is wonderful in the ideal world. We were talking about why women in Japan now would rather being single. I commented another reason for this and ended saying this issue won't solve. How does you opinion add anything to this birth rate issue?
Thank you Nobita for including many perspectives. This way I am able to explore many viewpoints.
When your existence is dependent on money, emotional issues and pursuits seem to take a back seat. Odd that we push aside one of the most wonderful reasons for being here to pursue financial emptiness.
Love doesn’t pay the bills or keeps the economy going lol
Sorry for all my comments- *but a lovely reminder to infertility couples:*
If the women are too old to give birth, adoption is always very much a wonderful option! So many children are in need of a Loving Home w loving parents who want them! Bless those who give a child the gift of a Good Family!
Good comment. I agree.
@0crakhadshizzakizza0 her fault to not adopt or what's your (bad) point?
Koreans and some Chinese are marrying SE Asian women with realistic standards who know how to live on a budget. Are Japanese men not travelling?
Men: Women ratio in Japan 1:2, it's Japanese women who have to search for SEA men
@@eloffmusk I've seen some of that on TH-cam. They lower their income standards I guess because the SEA men are warm and personable. Far less infatuated with 2D women and idols, so more active in bed. Wow, that many women? Yeah, no matter I see them travelling without men. And they're not difficult.
Well it’s a world wide issue of idealistic thinking, not only in japan. Yes financial aids may provide temporary living relief but root of the problem is with the constant exposure to social media that causes Asian woman in general to turn delusional and expect their male counterpart to fit these ideals.
Until the day when we are able to differentiate realism and idealism, problem will persist
Go back to before the internet and TV or even glossy magazines and people interacted with each other more. You had factory workers intermingling with one another. They had more of a community spirit where everyone knew their neighbours and would help one another during tough times.
When you're reality shows that more women graduate than men and you still expect women to marry down, you're the one who's delusional
@@VixxKong2 fix your English please. I believe an elementary school kid can write and interpretate better
@@Mopantsu That community spirit was at the expense of autonomy. It only seems better then because we look at the past believing they provided needs we currently don't have.
That community spirit isn't compatible with the increase autonomy the modern world offers, and thus needs to adapt to keep up.
Except humans were violent in numbers. It wasn’t that long ago genocides were normal
There are many factors that are contributing to this problem. I'm a single men, 35 years old, living in tokyo, good income +$100k/year and the reason i won't get married or have kids its because in these times woman are just impossible... they are always looking for the perfect man, tall, rich, etc, the millionaire movie star or company magnate, even if you manage to get a date with a woman these days, one mistake and you are a goner, after some tries i decided to not wasting my time or money into this. Other aspect that made me take this decision is that the law over protects women, in a trial between a men and a woman, men have %90 chance of losing and this means supporting the woman economically even if you have nothing to do with her... that's crazy so, risk management is important.
Exactly. I got into it on another comment thread with some obviously "over-inflated egos." I talked about how at 50 I met a 20-something Finnish woman. The EgoFems got all excited and mentioned the age gap, put her down as living in poverty, and wrote things that clearly demonstrate their disdain for our connection. One mentioned about how her desperation brought us together and how I am some kind of predator. The Finnish woman comes from the upper middle class, and she is getting her Master Degree in less than one month.
They put her down as some desperado. They are, "to a T," the kind you described
yeah sure blame women when probably the problem is you 😂😂
Buy a cat and start seeing a therapist, u seem like a big headache for any man@@roxyglow9670
Nobita, You raise an interesting issue that is related to the culture in Japan and the dominance of employers who insist on working employees such long hours for relatively low pay. Women realize that marrying may result in them having to do all the child care and domestic work, while men must work long hours (and that doesn’t include his hours he may send at an Izakaya after work). That isn’t saying all families are left in this situation, but the demands & trends of working long hours affects the quality of family life. Marriage is supposed to mean you share a life together. It is supposed to mean there is trust and a more equal distribution of time, work and family chores. At the same time, women are playing a greater role in the workforce, if only to deal with the rising cost of rent and cost of living. If we looked at Japan’s major cities, we would find the cost of living significant. Japan’s demographers and economists realize the birth rate is declining, and that also related to having to hire workers from abroad. If the culture is not entirely comfortable with foreign workers, then the rate of domestic births must compensate to provide workers for the future. If employers themselves are among those who are not comfortable with hiring or training or paying a competitive wage to foreign workers, they have to realize they have contributed to the problem by working people such long hours and impacting family life. It’s not an easy problem to solve to get more women to develop relationships that lead to marriage. Traditional views say that women & men should get an education, marry and settle down. But the pace of life & cost of living in cities may be affecting how people date and court. It takes some time to know a person and feel confident enough to share a life together. It usually doesn’t happen as quickly as in a romance novel. Long work hours, unchanging pay scales, stubborn employers who insist on getting ‘value’ from employees are part of this picture. Perhaps family counselors and social workers need to offer services to help young couples develop stronger relationships. I also sense the government needs to set some limits on work hours. Just letting employers & industries dictate the current pace and hours of work isn’t prudent or fair. The women you interviewed seem quite attractive and aware of the issues affecting relationships, but we don’t know how young men or employers feel about the topic. It seems more awareness and more active participation are needed to make the changes. It is good and timely for you to raise this topic.❤😊
Our culture needs to change so that children and family are the most important thing, because they are. Economic growth can take a backseat to people living a normal decent and happy family life. Also we are all too educated in technical areas and not in life wisdom. People need to pull back on the maths learning and do life learning at a younger age.
Most people are selfish deep down and are in competition with others through peer pressure (if you don't own X you have no value). They are told by the government and media that they must 'consume' and become debt slaves instead of living within their means. I would rather be poor and have a loving wife and children than rich and alone. Unfortunately for me I am poor and alone because no woman see's me as of any value.
Not happening in Asia.
@@Emptytopfloor Well the alternative is a giant nursing home.
@@sparksmacoy Japan is already a nursing home. The contrast to younger nations is very stark. I've seen both and yeah, it's no joke...
i’m confused at 6:13, so a contributing factor of japan’s low birth rate is women wants to be housewives, rely on husband to bring home enough dough, but they can’t = have to work so dont want to have children. While other countries’ low birth rate is because women don’t want to be housewives and want to work to be financially independent with/without a spouse. 😂
The paradox in Japan and in other developed countries is that if both partners work, house prices, rents, etc., rise in proportion, so nothing is gained standard of living-wise. The only solution is to ration jobs to one person per couple with children, but clearly that's unacceptable, especially to the government, who rely for tax income on everybody working and earning all the time.
My wife and I were able to conceive, however the thought that there would be issues in conceiving and the risk of chromosomal abnormality was on our minds because of her age (39). We did pray for some expensive tests that were not covered by the national health insurance program, but they showed us that the baby was developing well and did not show abnormalities. We hope to try for another child, but those fears still remain for us. Due to the extensive testing required for older women, it's no wonder that many people at that age think it's too expensive to have a child.
@derek4412 it's not that they are never taken; even my own mother submitted to testing as a result of her age. To be honest, in the US the tests are absurdly expensive, but luckily here in Japan, the tests are affordable, just above normal rate. For economic purposes, testing in Japan is much cheaper by comparison to the US, but expensive compared to the average Japanese salary.
@derek4412 it's not that they are never taken; even my own mother submitted to testing as a result of her age. To be honest, in the US the tests are absurdly expensive, but luckily here in Japan, the tests are affordable, just above normal rate. For economic purposes, testing in Japan is much cheaper by comparison to the US, but expensive compared to the average Japanese salary.
Are you in an age gap relationship?
@@Uj-rf1pq a lot of people don't realize that there is an increase of autism in children when the father is over the age of 40, it could also a good idea for the father to get checked if he and his wife are the same age.
It's old seemen that causes the spectrum kids. It's not the woman and to say that is a bold face lie. Just like men used to say women chose the sex. Just another bs lie men made up to keep boinking younger girls. Old seemen makes all these kids with sooooo many problems now a days. NOT old women. Women have kids in their 60s. A healthy woman who's community/doctors didn't mess with her reproductively doesn't hit menopause until her 60s. Men make excuse after excuse, call it "science," however, anyone with a brain knows it's just older dudes trying to deflect their need to boink teenagers and young women and blame it on older women, so that way men have an "excuse" to "need to for medical reasons" boink/marry a teenager/20 year old. We ain't falling for the ruse over here in the states. Sorry pal.
They do it even in the religious circles...in the buy bull...Mary was an old woman when she conceived JC. The men, who say women shouldn't speak or teach, say Mary was a young 12-16 year old girl. It doesn't say that. It clearly says she was OLD when their man made savior was created/in vitro aka immaculate CONception. Call complete bollucks on how Japan treats and "teaches" it's women.
I would be curious to know what the attitudes are regarding adoption in Japan. I was just thinking that some of these women who are reaching the end of their fertile years might be more open to adopting children.
From what I've seen in videos like this they have a strong dislike for adoption, many old the grandparents would not think the child was part of their family. They do not have the same ancestors. It's really cruel that so few kids end up adopted.
@@Ifliesucks to be them lol
I think we dan certainly include that about many japanese. There is little joy in the restrictive mindsets @@chocolatesquirrel2002
Why would they adopt someone who isn't their own, as if that's the same thing? If no Japanese person is even having kids, who are they adopting? Africa, the only place above replacement birthrate? Should they bring in all of Africa, as if raising a child who is genetically completely dissimilar from you isn't completely dysfunctional?
@@IflieIt's not cruel, it's wise. You cannot just adopt someone completely unrelated to you and expect that to be the same as having kids that are actually yours.
Raising kids is hard and expensive these days. I dont have any myself but i see alot of single mothers out there struggling to raise their bastard children alone. I dont blame the japanese women one bit for not wanting that future for themselves. If anything it is probably the smartest thing to do. I wish more American women were smart enough to adopt this trend
They're not going to. Sexual liberation remember? Women are out here moving just like men. It's not a matter of being smart enough not to do it. It's a matter of not giving a fuk about consequences.
America is in a state of social decay and normalized degeneracy. Japan while it has its problems. Hasn't reached that extreme. Their culture and traditions are still there to some degree
Same
keyword - "single mothers"
that's the problem right there.
hard and expensive is never the real reason. it's just an easy excuse. it's always been hard and people have done it throughout the entirety of history with less money/resources. nobody should be trying to raise a child alone (unless spouse died, but then they should still have family to help)
@@rokko_fable If those people could have had an easier way, they would've chosen it very quickly. Just because they did it, doesn't mean they wanted to. Let's stop normalizing struggle life, because it's a lot of stress, the family isn't happy, the kids aren't happy, it's very much dysfunctional and that's one of the major reasons society is how it is today, because of dysfunctional "families" and ignorant use of religion to trap people. And most people aren't trying to raise a child alone, the problem is that one of the parents decides to bail and not fulfil their duties towards the child they helped create.
@@kenasssss Wrong, They won't stop forcing Fathers out of their children's lives, making all involved especially the children worse off.
Women got educated and financially independent. So they didn't have to get married and remain married however unpleasant the marriage was. The men still expect women to be inferior when they turn into wives. As daughters and sisters they have achieved equality. But the job of wife is still considered inferior by the husbands. So why would most women want to choose that life/job. Women have upscaled. Men haven't or haven't needed to.
Yes, people need to look for a spouse or partner not a husband or wife. By that I mean to expect the same for each.
The single men aren't dating because they have not improved their life enough to attract women in this day and age. She said all of the attractive guys are already married, that's because they already improved their life and built up the courage and confidence to go out and socialize to attract her.
Time to get a side bich 😂
But whether they've improved their lives enough to have the courage and confidence depends on their ability to afford and provide for such a lifestyle. Wages are so depressed that this is no longer possible. The only way any of this changes is by increasing wages by depleting the over-all workforce.
That just means women are searching for a finished product; waiting at the finish line expecting to not help build his empire which he would share with them then willingly if they were present through the process. In other words, the men view women as gold diggers who have no investment in the success of the men have created, they're not putting in the effort to grow with a partner but to collect a prize.
So men are resentful as being treated as a utility and disposable. Men are checking out until collapse and then will rebuild society and there will be requirements to benefit from it. Ungratefulness will no longer be tolerated.
@@de14jabswe can speed up that process if we simply take women's rights away.
Feminism is a BIG problem, as it further instills some problematic concepts like "don't work for your/the man".
Which leads to: "only wait for men at the finish line, rather than build them up to get there".
While simultaneously competing with said men, which both moves the goal post AND diminishes the amount of job opportunities.
THEN, if a man turns his life around, there are likely chances that he will feel some (justified) resentment towards the women his age group who wouldn't have given him the time of day prior, added to the fact that his newly acquired resources now gives him options past the women who previously waited at the finish line.
Independent of the moral judgement passed on feminism, one has to look at it as a destabilizing, unsustainable mechanism.
As always thank you so much for this reporting. All videos in this series provide a valuable insight into this problem.
It’s logical me thinks.
Before: men chose women they liked. Women were glad to be chosen by any man because otherwise they’d be a financial burden to their family. Men didn’t have to be the “chad” to be in a relationship, because women rather settle with someone that isn’t ideal than to be single.
Now: women can choose as much or more than men. Everyone is on the choosing side, so you would have to choose each other to form a couple (odds are low). Men pretty much have to be “chad” because otherwise women won’t choose them, since women rather be single than settle for someone that isn’t ideal.
Men used to only need to be a man. Now they have to offer more in order to be attractive.
I am working in Marunouchi and wouldn’t even ask a woman for coffee or lunch but happy to go with the lads. It’s just become too sensitive to even think of asking. Have to wonder why it became like this.
You can rely more on your lads these times
Man, it is such a tragedy to me to see Japan become the nation it has today. The culture is wonderful, but if the people die out, there will be nothing left.
Japan won't die out. If it becomes poor, its birth rate will rise again.
I think we can summarize this to a lack of proper communication between both parties. Relationships are complicated. We allow ourselves to be vulnerable towards someone else. They know our secrets, and we trust that person. It's hard to choose someone to be that person in our life.
and it is not teached anywhere. so if you didnt had good parents being a proper example you are basically f*cked
I think a lot of people have become complacent. By that I mean the living standards have improved so much today that one can survive comfortably on their own, people are able to be more self-reliant and self-sufficient. Also, there are much more choices and options in terms of services, entertainment, travel, etc. The result is individuals find it hard to give up this freedom and lifestyle; it has become too convenient and comfortable to live alone.
There's too many damn people anyways. I wish I could live 150 years from now when there's so many fewer of us. It's so damn crowded. You think people are going to have families in their shitty little noisy box apartments? 😂👎
True my parents come from a 3rd word country a lived during a civil war. my grandparents lived during french colonisation of their country.
I live in the west and even in this "hard times" for my lineage is the best time, i wish people see the positive
Why should dating be expensive?
Women want it to be.
if her coworker got a diamond ring, then she must have a diamond ring 2x the size, otherwise she's "settling".
All women are prostitutes for the right price
Long working hours it is, and people are not open about their feelings, is the 2 major factor. Culturally we all need to improve ourselves to build healthy environment before pushing anyone to marraige
That IVF part was really educational !! Good work with the video
These women seem picky..I make over 24m yen a year no children and I dont know if any of these women would pay any attention to me as they look at the negative first....seems unrealistic expectations instead of reality...they are very nice looking though and seem intelligent I lived in Japan for a couple of years...great country and people
Men have standards but women are “picky”… and then you guys wonder why women would rather stay single.
Look at domesticviolence statistics in Jp…
We've created a global economy and sociological environment that is so stressfull that ordinary people can't thrive in it. And a declining birthrate is the result. Reduce stress among the populus and you'll see birthrate increase again. But that's not happening in the coming decades at least.
Good. We have too many humans around. There has not been in the entire history such a large population like today..
@@lucadesanctis563 We could have sustained such numbers just fine if we didn't mis-manage our positions of power by giving them to the most broken, least empathetic people imaginable.
It's only developed countries that are having birth rate issues. Developing countries however are doing *more* than okay.
Nope. No stress. No life 😂
Thats how Japan's logic works. And an obvious deflection to whatever America is doing. Which shows people are always watching us and trying to be a part of the same energies they claim they're above.
It’s tough today
It's not just Japan. Many developed world has this trend. Career oriented, but the problem is that it takes decades to establish a successful career. Then, before they know it, they are 35-40 years old, reaching an age where having kids is not practical. It's also getting very expensive to raise a child in these parts of the world. Most of the time, couples have only 1 child or no child at all.
These countries have a dilemma. Because of low birth rates, they face a rapidly aging population in which retiring citizens would not be replaced, creating an economic disaster that will most likely force higher taxes. They most likely need to relie on migrants to replace the aging population. We are already seeing this in a small scale.
I keep saying this about the whole working culture issue, as it is heavily related to Karoshi (death by overworking) and it's happening in other countries as well: humankind needs to change the views about work culture and the way the entire economy works. Japan seemed very promising 10 years ago with the robots that were being developed. Alas, the progress has stagnated and those robots are now just mere curiosities, not something that can actually improve productivity exponentially in order to get an abundance of goods and services and people may work administrating the robots and earn a lot more money and also have more free time. That's what is supposed to happen, those are the expectatives, but that hasn't happened yet and it may take too long. I still hope Robotics and AI are key to help solve all this problem, I just hope it won't be too late. On the other hand, life standards themselves have raised way too high, so it becomes almost impossible to achieve anything and everyone ends up frustrated. Hypercompetitiveness makes working culture and standards unbearable, (hence death by overworking happens as well). And then there's the age issue. It's way much harder to fall in love when you're already old and your body is not full of hormones as it was when you were younger and ready for it at 18 years or so. Having to await for such a long time just to have a good education and a good job just to be able to undertake the task of being a parent wears off those feelings as well. Infertility is the result. Robots and AI changing the economy into an abundance system may sound utopic, but it must happen, or the rest of humankind will also find themselves into similar dead ends. A housewive's work would be alleviated a lot with robots that help take care of housekeeping, babysitting, etc. Also farms would greatly benefit from tech advances such as the ones being made in Israel and Netherlands, (3D printed meat, agricultural improvements to get more food using less resources, etc.) I would personally like to find a way to meet a Japanese girl to marry with, but I have seen their standards and just by what I heard it's going to be insanely hard for me, specially since I am from a 3rd world country.
isn't it weird? throughout the 19th and 20th century, there were countless articles and ideas about emerging technology being able to lessen the workload and allow people more free time. 4 day work weeks! 6 hour work days! 3 day work weeks!
and while that did happen a bit (a lot fewer people toiling all day on farms) and housework is greatly decreased (washing machine is a big one) the end result is people are still pushed to be as productive as possible to line the pockets of a few.
human greed knows no bounds.
Everything sounded great until you got to the 3D meat😂
@@janedough6575 so if you were in a space colony, you would prefer to eat insects rather than real meat produced with 3D printing and cells?
Good luck with that.
3D printing meat has the potential to solve world hunger and make everyone's life easier, reduce food costs, but whatever.
Which one is frightening, to deal with a women's life as far as giving birth and making sure everything is right in or a in man's life, dealing with all elements that try to bring the whole family down... Reality it is incomparable.
you said something's not right because even beautiful women don't find someone to fall in love with, but I think that's completely wrong, society has been forcing people to a love and family model that is just not for everyone. Also it shouldn't be treated as weird when someone doesn't find the right person to share their live with, it is just unnecessary pressure for a thing that shouldn't be forced in the first place
"if that's the case i think they will regret" : Absolutely not , freedom is better than being constantly harassed by a woman that puts pressure on you all the time. ^^
No regrets to have, men , live your life as you wish.
This is so true... I was once married never again. I would rather go back to Afghanistan. At least I know I have a fighting chance
also women don t regret stay alone living a peaceful life without losers men...don t worry 😂
@@roxyglow9670 Then we all be happy with this ;)
Cost of living is higher everywhere and women no longer have the choice to work or not. One income isnt enough. So women don't want to have kids anymore. How do you work an 8-10hr day, raise kids, cook and clean for a household by yourself and not go batshit crazy from all the stress and strain? We are all working too much just to survive and feed ourselves, who wants to creat additional mouths to feed?
Hurry up and get married to have a high probability of a sexless marriage? Hard pass.
Nobita, your friend said that the quality of Japanese men nowadays is very low. It could be a very interessing thing to talk about in your videos. How many Japanese men study some traditional Japanese art? What is the annual reading average? How many of them works on anything besides his job? Our personality is made of those things. The romans would call it 'ocio' (leisure) and 'neg-ocio' (not leisure, business). Nobody can be interessing whitout work on making himself interessing. Someone can marry with a person because of his income, but no one will fall in love with income.
Thank you very much. I love your videos and they are so very useful and rich.
"Empowering whamen resulted higher divorce rate and lower the birthrate". There are other factors as well such as long working hours, low purchasing power and so on contributed to this issue...
The problem is with men who still don't wish to treat women as equals. Women take equal responsibility at work, men still don't want to take equal responsibility at home and with kids
So you mean women had a choice and suddenly they don't want to be with men and have children? And you see this as a problem of women and not a problem of men and society?
Yeah let's beat those women into place. We need them breeding so they can make more drones for the sake of corporate profits. For the sake of late stage capitalism everyone is a slave and a serf for corporations.
And yet many see it as some stupid man vs women thing. Don't you think it's strange that children are seen as only a woman thing and working for some company is only a man thing? And yet through most of history it was men and women working together on the farms and things like that. Working together as parents.
But now we are all cogs in a machine. We aren't even human beyond our roles.
@@KateeAngel Also, all the married men I know don't talk like embittered 5th graders. I'm just saying maybe it has something to do with incompatible a)worth ethic b)intelligence c)both
As many of the people in this video say, "if this were to happen, then this would be the results....". It is cliche, but true. For the first time ever in history, more women are working and women are making more money than men on average. What do they need a man for when she can pay all of her own bills and live her life? And for Men, getting a stable and reliable job is very difficult. The average job last 7 years now. As opposed to when the war generation grew up. The people worked jobs, 20, 30 years until retirement, had full benefits and good pay. When the Auto and Plane industries crashed, jobs that paid 40, 50, 60 dollars and up are now paying 16,20, 30 dollars an hour.
" women are making more money than man on average" then why do they keep biching about the "gender wage gap"
It's not about how much you make its about how much you save and invest.
@@chocolatesquirrel2002Because they pretend not to understand where that "gap" comes from in order to wallow in a victimhood-based identity. Motivated reasoning, not a search for the truth.
@@oroville12345actually how much you make is just as important as saving and investing. If folks aren't being paid livable wages and barley making ends meet how are they supposed to live?
Because a lot of women feel like having children and a husband is a burden. I recently had to quit my job because I gave birth 5 months ago, I am relying on my fiancé financially and it sucks.
Do you mean you had sex with a man who you didn't know would/could take care of you if you got pregnant, and now the taxpayer or some other party is footing the bill because you choose "freedom"?
You had his kid and he's still just a fiancé?
@@VixxKong2 we’re committed to each other and will get married when I feel like it.
@@ladybug3380 "when I feel like it" Well there's the problem. Someone needs to try to contact this whore's husband and warn him before it's too late.
32 German, single for 9 years now... damn.. i would really love to find a woman to build up a cozy romance based on the same mindset.
But it's so freaking hard out there... the expectation of woman are unrealistic high and over all idk man... i feel like i'll never find true love in this life... :(
The only hope or small releave is knowing that this happens all over the world, not just here in Germany...
I do hope and wish for all humans to find their love for life...
Damn, my heart feels like a black hole.. nearly not existing anymore.
Feeling extremely lonely even if i have a famaily... and just 1 friend who moved far away...
Just working 9-10 h 5 days a week and watching YT or play a pc game here and there... my life is boring as F....
What a wholesome comment 🩵
@@ikkrijgnoggeldvanje I apprechiate your kind words 😌
Woman :"i want men be straightforward "
Man: " i don't want problems of being accused of harassment and being put in jail for nothing."
Japan does not have this problem
Good point. I bet these "herbivores" have been shot down so many times they gave up. I made approaches with this type of female when young and they were painfully shy and would reject me across the board. And, not just me. Only if the man was pre-selected would they go out and often these guys were bad-boys. And, they were too focused on marriage unless the guy was a hot bad-boy whom they submitted to. One time I met over 500 females from the country discussed in this video and there were 250 in the nightclub with only 3 men. I couldn't get even one to go out with me (ditto the other two guys). We all struck out. When I spoke with a few of the ladies, they were all in love with an idol male star. When I explained that the idol star has no idea who they even are it didn't matter. They had placed "love" on an imaginary fantasy man. I don't know what more to say.
Misogynist spotted
@@yourfavoritenetcitizen6525 A man not wanting to be accused of harassment is the opposite of a mysogynist lmao
@@yourfavoritenetcitizen6525stupid⚠️
He hit d point!💯
Its not being mesogynist, thats d reality⚠️😒
I’ve said this before but in America there’s been an increase of women being childless and alone well into old age. There’s various reasons for this yet from my observation it’s been the behaviors and ideologies they’ve absorbed as well as thinking men are their enemies. Again there’s various reasons.
Dating apps are causing women to be picky and then they select from a small pool of men. The rest of the men give up on dating as they can't get any dates.
Then no one ends up happy
@@brodude3709 it was heading in that direction anyway
Bingo my friend. A lot of them believe that men are their enemies.
violence is because of men. Look at statistics.
It needs to be more practical for women to keep their careers while raising a family. With such a highly educated and work-prepared population of women, it's only logical that a considerable percentage of those women will want to keep the career they studied and worked so hard to attain... The fact that marriage = children = quit job has a huge impact on Japan's birthrate, I believe. If women balancing work/family life was made a priority, men wouldn't have to worry so much about their own low salaries anymore, too...
But as other commenters have mentioned, all developed societies' birth rates tend to go down...so if Japan is really serious about reversing population decline, they need to step up their immigration game.
tbh, numeral studies have shown that immigration will NEVER fix the issue.
Yep that’s all they can do now since they refuse to change
Japan is not ready for immigration. Just a few tourists behaving badly, and they already talking foreigners are a nuisance. Lots of politicians within the ruling party use this for their political gain.
Next, a new phenomenon is that certain foreign expats from certain countries are against immigration from certain countries to Japan.
Yuka is very lucky found a supportive husband since many foreign men in Japan date but then just dump them or unsupportive after marriage. Hats off to Daniel!
she is very lucky considering how old she is, but you can tell her man is weak for spending all that money on her ancient body. what was she doing in her 20's?
For God sake, it's not "wrong" men or women fault it's the cost of living which is skyrocket in the last 20 years compared to salaries. Some things became cheaper like clothes, gadgets but the most important: rent, medicine, education, child care services are continuing to grow in price.
i feel we all experiencing this around the world. truth is the world is going through a hard time. Our economies are not doing well and thats why there's so many single people over the age of 25. Our parents before us lived during good economic times so they were more open to the prospect of marriage. today making a family will need BOTH people in the marriage to work to live daily. If both do not work then all these little problems affect them. "Just go date and get married" is easy to do but when you live through struggle you feel a responsibility not to drag yourself and other people together into such a life of struggle. Its all to do with the cost of living.
The globalist billionaires have milked the populations for centuries and now we are at an inflection point. The system of usury is collapsing which is why they wish to both depopulate and control us using technology (Digital ID and CBDC etc). FIAT collapsed in 2008 and they have been patching it up until the time was right for their 'Great Reset'. The pandemic was their opportunity to kick it into gear (which is why many suspect the pandemic was a 'plandemic').
My grandparents lived from the 1900s through the great Depression. They earned something like $1/day and had 5 children, bought two houses. Their focus was on the family.
We have more wealth than our parents' times. The issue is the distribution of wealth have grown to become cruelly asymmetrical.
dean, actually, the world is richer today than ever. It's people's expectations that have gotten too high.
that's nice but I'm sure they struggled and i think many of us today are more aware of the responsibilities of caring for children. personally, i grew up in a large family too and yeh, we kind of lived in poverty. it was hard and i dont think i want to repeat that@@bjung8858