This is fantastic. As a man, "fix it" mode is somewhat expected by male society. Knowing that sometimes we need to sit in the suffering for a while is a great relief even as feelings of impatience for waiting to fix it creep up. Thank you for the video.
Yes totally . Impatience towards our own suffering and pain lead US to a Place where our mind it's scattered and stressed out and that it's not a nice Place to be
It's OK. We all have been hard on ourselves until we reach this point where we know we need mindfulness and self compassion. All my dreams are starting to unfold within my very eyes and I'm looking forward to taking the road less traveled as most of the rest of society is angry, blaming others for their own past and just not accepting that they deserve to have compassion with themselves.
Im at a crossroads in life where i have little social life and i get pissed at those that have a better social life than me,like maybe on a saturday night when i have nowhere to go i feel pissed at those that are our having more fun than me..Having spoke to them all week I actually feel better in myself when i isolated myself and purposely ignore them..
i had to admit to myself last week that i was feeling jealousy as my sister was telling me about her new friends. and sadness. anger and irritation came up first, but as i released them (and the belief that it was unfair to me), i found the truer emotions underneath.
Is it possible that Kristen Neff's approach is more accessible and effective to those who are wealthier? How can we better empower those with less resources and greater obligations to work and earn?
How would it be that self compassion is more accessible to the rich? You make the point, but don't explain why you think this. In the sense that access to the education that these practices are even possible, youre probably right, but the practices themselves are simple and easily practiced. These are common practices in the developing world, which by definition is less wealthy.
your smugness is deliriously ayn randian. but it's not a matter of education we are discussing here, it's a matter of a total lack of other immediate and vital resources like time and space, which in turn prevent many folk's the ability to commit to any schedule beyond survival. of course time and space are privileges of the wealthy. if i showed a kristin neff video to my homeless mother, she would be insulted and defensive. and then angry. and i would apologize to her for flaunting my privilege in her space. .. and then i would go home and watch more kristin neff videos. refusing to admit our privilege certainly gets in the way of how we share our own sources of joy.
@@JonathanVanEtten-ot3pgto handle homelessness and any other hardship, bringing compassion to one’s self and the situation they find themselves in is EXACTLY what they need to be as at peace as possible with their circumstances as this is what is -acceptance of these hardships in these times -and thus able to move forward with greater equanimity and understanding. If one were to instead beat oneself up about circumstances one finds one’s self in (ex. I’m a failure, look what a mess I am in, I can’t do thsi), this mental struggle is often exactly what keeps folks unable to find a way out to more stability.
@zeldarizing you are so right as someone who has struggled with homelessness and more, self compassion greatly helped me to get to where I am today. Beating myself up and being hard on myself wasn't getting me anywhere other then being suicidal. Self compassion has changed my life for the better
Well it's all very well and good to point out what is wrong and gets in the way of self compassion. But the HOW is what I struggle with and is often missing in this type of dialogue. Describing what's wrong is easy. Describing the opposite as desirable is easy. It's the bridge between the two, the actual concrete HOW that needs attention and is often blythly skipped over....
The "common humanity" issue needs an intersectional approach to avoid legitimizing specific forms of oppression that a number of systems put on those most vulnerable
Thank you. Wondering if self-compassion also require practice of love? May be self-love requires acceptance of whole self first. And mindfulness needed to recognize and accept pain.
I notice many valuable perspectives. Simultaneously, I notice numerous false premises, partial-truths, and false beliefs. Naming only one, I mention the repeated emphasis on suffering by K. Neff. I consider the researcher needs really to look at her premises🤔. I know pain is part of life and incarnating as a spirit into a body; on the other hand suffering I know is a human creation out of our imbalances and choices to avoid healing. I know we really need to move on from this archaic concept of suffering and properly take responsibility for what we have created for thousands of years. We made then matters only worse and more extreme via industrialising, etc., far too quickly during modernity and after🤑. Good luck to us wounded spiritual-animals, humans, as we move toward 9 billion of us in such imbalance, greed, extremes-of-ego, extremes-of-violence, & more on this space ship earth😐.
I need this help so badly. I constantly beat myself up about things I can’t do right. What think of me, and I of them. Wanting to just be alone . I also talk to much then beat myself up about that as well. Help!! I got your name from my Dr. thanks 😊
Ok..you want to understand compassion??? I was dying to use the toilet in the middle of town about four in the morning...there was nowhere open except a casino...i went in and asked if i could use the toilet...he said...paying customers only...so i played a game of roulette for a fiver and won 36 euro...then i used the toilet and left...on the bridge across the river...there was a man in a sleeping bag with a dog...so i gave him 15 euro...half of my winnings and left... If that doesnt explain it...your too far gone...
@@deathbycookies conversely visa vie...my sister wouldn't loan me two euro at Christmas and I've been working out fifties twice a year for pressies for her daughter and now she's in hospital from a stroke...do I care enough to go visit her???
I understand that you showed compassion in form of giving 15 euros to a man in a sleeping bag because you wanted to help said man. I understand that you visited your sister out of compassion for her because she was suffering from a stroke even though she didn't gave you two euros at Christmas while you were helping her daughter. What I don't understand is what you are trying to tell? I have my definition of compassion. I felt compassion, i gave compassion and im practicing mindful self-compassion for almost a year now. Also the "...your too far gone..." makes it sound like a bloodcult or something similar to that.
So what about 2021 & a pandemic. Isolation is the norm & promotes psychiatric disturbances. Let's get a current version. So true though to be with your suffering, welcome it in, get to know where it came from, embrace it before you can let it go.We fragment under stress. Under stress we learn most about ourselves so walk into all issues as being a part of your growing self.
She says that suffering is natural, "life going wrong" is natural? What about people who suffer because people have tried to kill them or abuse them? That's not natural, and shouldn't be. A lot of human suffering is not "natural" and outside of developed countries there is a lot of violence and murder.
you’re thinking too literally, she’s referring to suffering on a universal basis. suffering is fundamental to being human, hence its natural. how our environment may promote this suffering is irrelevant, since suffering is relative to the experiencer; suffering is a subjective experience. the best analogy I can consider is how someone who’s chronically depressed and prepared for suicide may not considering being murdered to be the worst fate sufferable, compared to someone who’s not depressed and finds being murdered undesirable. their environment, being murdered, is the same yet their scale of what makes something insufferable is completely lopsided. would you say the depressed person welcoming death isn’t suffering as harshly as the neutral person fearing death? all in all, suffering is a subjective experience that anyone who chooses to be human must experience; regardless of their environment.
I disagree.. suffer ING is not the way things are supposed to be or else why try to heal. Suffering occurs in absence of humanity. Will we suffer yes but to me self compassion happens when I stop the "bleeding and tend to my wound intentionally, quickly and caringly and lovingly. Some suffer more than others in numerous ways due to lack of resources. What a fucking load of bullshit here. Just started my day with the bullshit of a fucking lifetime.
She gets at least one key point wrong. The naturalistic fallacy. Natural is not inherently good, and should not be accepted when it is not. Suffering should be stopped and the motivation to do so comes by Not accepting it. Acceptance leads to complacency and denies us our most human attribute, to want to improve everything around us.
i need to reserve judgement until i learn more. i think Kristen is intelligent & sweet person. however i feel that all this iof feelings is a lot of gobbledygook.
For additional learning, we recommend checking out this Self-Compassion Test: self-compassion.org/self-compassion-test/?TH-cam&
This is fantastic. As a man, "fix it" mode is somewhat expected by male society. Knowing that sometimes we need to sit in the suffering for a while is a great relief even as feelings of impatience for waiting to fix it creep up. Thank you for the video.
i know I'm pretty randomly asking but does anybody know of a good place to watch newly released tv shows online ?
@Kingston Douglas Thanks, signed up and it seems like they got a lot of movies there :) I really appreciate it !!
Yes totally . Impatience towards our own suffering and pain lead US to a Place where our mind it's scattered and stressed out and that it's not a nice Place to be
})
self-compassion and self-acceptance are two of the most important things in life you can do for yourself.
I am crying over here, to know that I have been so hard on myself and that I need to caress myself more often.
It's OK. We all have been hard on ourselves until we reach this point where we know we need mindfulness and self compassion. All my dreams are starting to unfold within my very eyes and I'm looking forward to taking the road less traveled as most of the rest of society is angry, blaming others for their own past and just not accepting that they deserve to have compassion with themselves.
Oh, I was there for this workshop, and everything about it has remained with me and unlighted my life. So much gratitude for Kristin Neff.
The good messages in this talk were made even better by Kristin Neff's gentle and comforting voice.
The 3 components of self-compassion: 0:42
Self-kindness vs Self-judgement
Common humanity vs Isolation
Mindfulness vs Over-identification
Kristin Neff and Brene Brown have been important references for me as I counsel parents of children with a variety of disabilities.
Now that I've learned this, I realize that it's challenging not to criticize myself for being a self critic.
It takes time
I have been beating mysefl up today about my son and being a good enough Mum.
This has really helped!
Thank you Kristin. Powerful and clear ... and practical.
Such a sweet woman. Such a beautiful feminine voice. I'm watching this after a narc relationship.
Feel it to heal it. I've been feeling it, but trying to learn and grow. So hard at times. Thanks for this message.
Such good explanations. I believe healthy self compassion is a quality we all need to be balanced in the way we see ourselves.
If you love this video, you really need to read her book "Self-Compassion" it has greatly impacted my life.
this is incredible piece of work. Thank you Mrs Kristin Neff
I thank you with all of my heart. May you be well.
She has a really good point. You have to feel before you can fix.
A brief, but a good talk on the topic of self-compassion!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart
Im at a crossroads in life where i have little social life and i get pissed at those that have a better social life than me,like maybe on a saturday night when i have nowhere to go i feel pissed at those that are our having more fun than me..Having spoke to them all week I actually feel better in myself when i isolated myself and purposely ignore them..
I feel exactly the same. Hate hearing about people's weekends 😒
i had to admit to myself last week that i was feeling jealousy as my sister was telling me about her new friends. and sadness. anger and irritation came up first, but as i released them (and the belief that it was unfair to me), i found the truer emotions underneath.
Thank you. Very useful to learn self-compassion (thought that means self-love)
This is fabulous.
Is it possible that Kristen Neff's approach is more accessible and effective to those who are wealthier? How can we better empower those with less resources and greater obligations to work and earn?
How would it be that self compassion is more accessible to the rich? You make the point, but don't explain why you think this. In the sense that access to the education that these practices are even possible, youre probably right, but the practices themselves are simple and easily practiced. These are common practices in the developing world, which by definition is less wealthy.
your smugness is deliriously ayn randian.
but it's not a matter of education we are discussing here, it's a matter of a total lack of other immediate and vital resources like time and space, which in turn prevent many folk's the ability to commit to any schedule beyond survival.
of course time and space are privileges of the wealthy.
if i showed a kristin neff video to my homeless mother, she would be insulted and defensive. and then angry.
and i would apologize to her for flaunting my privilege in her space.
.. and then i would go home and watch more kristin neff videos.
refusing to admit our privilege certainly gets in the way of how we share our own sources of joy.
@@JonathanVanEtten-ot3pgto handle homelessness and any other hardship, bringing compassion to one’s self and the situation they find themselves in is EXACTLY what they need to be as at peace as possible with their circumstances as this is what is -acceptance of these hardships in these times -and thus able to move forward with greater equanimity and understanding. If one were to instead beat oneself up about circumstances one finds one’s self in (ex. I’m a failure, look what a mess I am in, I can’t do thsi), this mental struggle is often exactly what keeps folks unable to find a way out to more stability.
@zeldarizing you are so right as someone who has struggled with homelessness and more, self compassion greatly helped me to get to where I am today. Beating myself up and being hard on myself wasn't getting me anywhere other then being suicidal. Self compassion has changed my life for the better
@@chloe.d178 💜💜
Thank you for this talk.
Step outside myself and look at who I am with compassion
🙏 has changed my happiness, & what I see as possible
That is so me, thank you for sharing....
There are quite a number of us isolated through chronic illness and/or age.
I am not alone others feel suffering it's natural process. Thanks🎉
This is very deep. She is very inteligent. This is very intresting
This is very helpful , thank you.
I love the start music from a DCI band! Wonder which one it was.
Well it's all very well and good to point out what is wrong and gets in the way of self compassion. But the HOW is what I struggle with and is often missing in this type of dialogue. Describing what's wrong is easy. Describing the opposite as desirable is easy. It's the bridge between the two, the actual concrete HOW that needs attention and is often blythly skipped over....
@@masonwalker485 of coarse I did..did you?
great lecture
Very insightful!
The "common humanity" issue needs an intersectional approach to avoid legitimizing specific forms of oppression that a number of systems put on those most vulnerable
This really hit home on so many points 🙈
Thank you. Wondering if self-compassion also require practice of love? May be self-love requires acceptance of whole self first. And mindfulness needed to recognize and accept pain.
Mindfulness on its own I hate the term but with contrast of over indentification helps make it feel better
BRAVO!
Thanks!
To accept the truth one must find it
I notice many valuable perspectives. Simultaneously, I notice numerous false premises, partial-truths, and false beliefs. Naming only one, I mention the repeated emphasis on suffering by K. Neff. I consider the researcher needs really to look at her premises🤔.
I know pain is part of life and incarnating as a spirit into a body; on the other hand suffering I know is a human creation out of our imbalances and choices to avoid healing. I know we really need to move on from this archaic concept of suffering and properly take responsibility for what we have created for thousands of years. We made then matters only worse and more extreme via industrialising, etc., far too quickly during modernity and after🤑.
Good luck to us wounded spiritual-animals, humans, as we move toward 9 billion of us in such imbalance, greed, extremes-of-ego, extremes-of-violence, & more on this space ship earth😐.
Good stuff
We were all tought lies we we’re lied too
I need this help so badly. I constantly beat myself up about things I can’t do right. What think of me, and I of them. Wanting to just be alone . I also talk to much then beat myself up about that as well. Help!! I got your name from my Dr. thanks 😊
Ok..you want to understand compassion???
I was dying to use the toilet in the middle of town about four in the morning...there was nowhere open except a casino...i went in and asked if i could use the toilet...he said...paying customers only...so i played a game of roulette for a fiver and won 36 euro...then i used the toilet and left...on the bridge across the river...there was a man in a sleeping bag with a dog...so i gave him 15 euro...half of my winnings and left...
If that doesnt explain it...your too far gone...
i feel like most people don't get this and this is where i start to lose hope...
@@deathbycookies conversely visa vie...my sister wouldn't loan me two euro at Christmas and I've been working out fifties twice a year for pressies for her daughter and now she's in hospital from a stroke...do I care enough to go visit her???
I understand that you showed compassion in form of giving 15 euros to a man in a sleeping bag because you wanted to help said man. I understand that you visited your sister out of compassion for her because she was suffering from a stroke even though she didn't gave you two euros at Christmas while you were helping her daughter. What I don't understand is what you are trying to tell? I have my definition of compassion. I felt compassion, i gave compassion and im practicing mindful self-compassion for almost a year now. Also the "...your too far gone..." makes it sound like a bloodcult or something similar to that.
4:35 ...👀👂
Co-sponsored by The International House at ?????? What does it say?
this is lit
anyone else here cause of Psy 125 Psychology of success?
positivity and wellbeing for me
So what about 2021 & a pandemic. Isolation is the norm & promotes psychiatric disturbances. Let's get a current version. So true though to be with your suffering, welcome it in, get to know where it came from, embrace it before you can let it go.We fragment under stress. Under stress we learn most about ourselves so walk into all issues as being a part of your growing self.
Educate
Practice
Repeat
4:34 - a what now? a what kind of pain? uhhhh... please rephrase.
2:20 Then I don’t want it.
She says that suffering is natural, "life going wrong" is natural? What about people who suffer because people have tried to kill them or abuse them? That's not natural, and shouldn't be. A lot of human suffering is not "natural" and outside of developed countries there is a lot of violence and murder.
you’re thinking too literally, she’s referring to suffering on a universal basis. suffering is fundamental to being human, hence its natural. how our environment may promote this suffering is irrelevant, since suffering is relative to the experiencer; suffering is a subjective experience. the best analogy I can consider is how someone who’s chronically depressed and prepared for suicide may not considering being murdered to be the worst fate sufferable, compared to someone who’s not depressed and finds being murdered undesirable. their environment, being murdered, is the same yet their scale of what makes something insufferable is completely lopsided. would you say the depressed person welcoming death isn’t suffering as harshly as the neutral person fearing death? all in all, suffering is a subjective experience that anyone who chooses to be human must experience; regardless of their environment.
I disagree.. suffer ING is not the way things are supposed to be or else why try to heal. Suffering occurs in absence of humanity. Will we suffer yes but to me self compassion happens when I stop the "bleeding and tend to my wound intentionally, quickly and caringly and lovingly. Some suffer more than others in numerous ways due to lack of resources. What a fucking load of bullshit here. Just started my day with the bullshit of a fucking lifetime.
She gets at least one key point wrong. The naturalistic fallacy. Natural is not inherently good, and should not be accepted when it is not. Suffering should be stopped and the motivation to do so comes by Not accepting it. Acceptance leads to complacency and denies us our most human attribute, to want to improve everything around us.
i need to reserve judgement until i learn more. i think Kristen is intelligent & sweet person. however i feel that all this iof feelings is a lot of gobbledygook.
CORRECTION: see below: i think all this intellectualization of feelings is a lot of gobbledygook-no disrespect intended.