I went in for a hemorrhoidectomy. I had discussed with my doctor that I would have a local. The morning of the surgery a different doctor came in with residents, she was explaining what she would be doing. She said that they would be using general anesthesia and I stopped her. I explained that I do not handle general anesthesia and have ended up in ICU in the past after having to be revived 3 times. She told me that she is the doctor and will decide how things are done. I said no she was not going to be operating on me. My mother was shocked. You don’t tell a doctor no. I got up, got dressed and left the hospital. I refused to be operated on by an arrogant doctor thinking she controlled my choices. I have never regretted it and I trust my instinct. Side note - I worked in the medical field long enough to know better. She should have known better as well. I hope the residents learned something that day. You have to be your own advocate.
You are right about them. I stopped listening to them during covid. The system shut down fully qualified doctors and scientists - anybody with a different narrative. I was on 8 different medications which apparently I had to keep taking or I would die. About 4 years ago now, I stopped taking the pills after the covid debacle and I cannot believe how much better I feel. I don't trust their instincts at all. I will take my chances.
@@susanmclane7781 True! My mother was rushed to the ER (lives alone) for sciatic pain. She was screaming in pain. They asked her if she had the "safe and effective treatment". She said no. They asked why. She said she didn't wanna be a guinea pig. Immediately the nurses were so rude to her. My mom is a strong woman with a high threshold for pain. She was in the bed crying her eyes out in the fetal position, she told me. They treated her like a crack head fishing for pain meds and then grilled her about getting the shot. I so wish I was there.
Horrible. When Dad had his first heart attack, I lived out of town and called the cardiologist with a list of questions. He interrupted me and said "what do you do for a living"? I said I'm a musician. He said "I won't tell you about music, and you don't tell me about medicine". Wow.
I worked in a large facility as an Surgical RN for a number of years. I will ALWAYS remember this one surgeon I loved working for. And the one thing he did religiously was to identify the Surgical site and what type of surgery he was doing to everyone in the surgical suite. He was very clear and concise with what he needed and usually asked for something two or three steps ahead before he actually needed it. He never yelled or pitched a fit during surgery and always said please and thank you. More surgeons should be like he was.
Wow, those kind of doctors are rare for sure nowadays!! Sounds like he was TRULY a professional, not only to his patients, but to all who worked for him and around him!! We definitely need more Surgeons like this and it sounds like you are right along with him! And thank you too and may God Bless you and this doctor and keep y’all safe. 🙏🏻♥️ I would absolutely LOVE to have a doctor and nurse like you both!! 🙏🏻♥️🙏🏻♥️
It’s a solid task oriented foreman like demeanor. Lots of older surgeons came up in life actually doing work. Whether it was farming, construction or whatever. Now too many professionals never had an actual job before college.
I had plastic surgery after skin cancer on my face. Fotunately, I opted for local anesthesia. My surgeon was off in a corner of the OR, gabbing on his cell phone as residents were performing my surgery. As they were about to finish and sew me up, I asked if they'd removed a small bubble in my facial skin situated alongside the previous surgery scar. I had discussed this issue with the surgeon during our pre-surgery conference. The surgery residents reacted to my question as if I'd been speaking in a foreign language. So I told them to get the surgeon off his cell phone and over here. When I asked him about getting that skin bubble removed, he went "oh shit," stepped in and did the excision of the skin bubble himself. I told the anesthesioligist, "now do you see why I wanted a local, not a general? I stay awake for all my haircuts and i'm damn well staying awake if my face is getting cut on."
You were wise! I've seen and even had some amazing screw ups before, often from inattention by those who were supposed to be in charge...it's gotten worse now as opposed to say 20 years ago, IMHO
Ive also had surgery to repair nose after skin ca. Amazing the difference in docs. One was fired by me and #2 stepped in. Dept head at ivy league med school. Have had one major flap surgery and 6 revisions the majors (4) going 90 mins or longer with gen anesthesia the minors were with local. Local anes. Surgeries were accompanied by a virtual history lesson on advancements in plastic surg since world war one. Also he would always ask about our family, knew my hobbies and our travel habits. Amazing difference
I am shadowing a doctor. When she is reading the notes of why the patient is coming in, she is already saying “I don’t believe her or why do they come here for this.” It breaks my heart to see such lack of empathy.
@@lovejoy71422 I wish I could do that. I’m not shadowing the doctor. I’m not allow to stay with the patients. I follow the doctor everywhere. Imagine you’re done with doctor appointment and the student tells you something negative about the doctor? Who will you believe, would that cause more damage to the patient?
Definitely do the opposite of her! What a terrible doctor!! I don’t list the complaint when I schedule because I know doctors do this. I figured I would make them come up with their gaslighting argument on the fly. I am not going to give them time to prepare to gaslight me.
That is really stupidity though. All you need to do is some research into how many times people have to see a Dr before they are diagnosed. Think it’s around 3 years for my condition and then you are dead. I’m surprised when some are diagnosed first time. And it’s not even by a specialist. Functional or Naturopath. You would think you would need to keep the passion alive when being a Dr since so much of your live is taken. Those others need to find a different profession or situation.
I had a doctor tell me this about my daughter, turned out she has migraines, and her symptoms and not the usual auras most people get, 3 peds later finally got someone that would list, please don't be like the dr you are shadowing. I hope you are an amazing doctor. All the best to you.
10 years ago I had to have emergency surgery for a perforated ulcer. It required the dressing to be changed daily. I couldn’t do it myself and had no family members close by who could do it either. My insurance at the time would only pay for three days of home health. As the team was preparing me for discharge, the case worker informed him of this. He walked out of the room and returned about 15 minutes later and stated “you’re covered 100% for home health until I release you”. He had called the insurance company himself. I don’t know what he said, but it worked. I’m very grateful.
@@Skatejock21You're right, but patients should still be listened to and taken seriously. If a patient has a misconception, or worse, a past trauma that causes them to think or behave a certain way, a good doctor will usually be able to talk it out with them instead of dismissing or ignoring the patient.
My husband thought I was being too aggressive when he was admitted. I asked questions, wrote down names, documented medications and tests. I wanted answers and consistently followed up. I acknowledged what was done well and educated myself. Sometimes you only get one chance to get things right.
@@NeilReed-ru7xd Thanks, although we’ve been married for over 30 years, he was surprised how much I spoke up . At the time, he didn’t realize the seriousness of his illness. After he was released, he was happy that I spoke up.
@@GMAMEC Your husband is lucky to have you. You have to keep on top of everything every step of the way sadly. My Dad has Parkinson's and doesn't have the mental capacity to speak up for himself anymore. My Mom documents and double checks EVERYTHING. The number of times they've tried to give him medications he can't have, skipped critical tests or medications, and failed to follow up on important issues is astounding. This is not limited to a single hospital/health group either, it's been every one that has treated him.
I "spoke up" about a very relevant pre-existing condition and the surgeon treated me like a hypochondriac. I showed her! I nearly died post surgery from complications from the pre-existing condition. So don't blame the patient for "not speaking up." Just bc we speak up doesn't mean they will listen.
I can relate. What happened to me wasn’t nearly as extreme at what happened to you. I went into the hospital for a arthrogram on the joints in my jaw. I had major facial surgery about 5 years prior to that and the anesthesiologist told me to tell other anesthesiologists in the future not to put me to sleep to put the tube in my throat (or however the anesthesiologist said it). I told the anesthesiologist this prior to my arthrogram and he didn’t listen. My husband told me in recovery the doctor came out while I was in the operating room and told him they may not be able to do the procedure because they couldn’t get the tube in to sedate me. Eventually they got the tube in my throat but when I woke up I could barely swallow because I was in so much pain. I made it clear to the anesthesiologist 3 days before the procedure and he ignored me.
@@unbreakable7633 what I detest with all my heart is that they think (not all as we know but "some") that they can be deceitful cover up the truth well how sadly wrong are they as all know the truth comes out in the end. I say God help them or anyone who does wrong in area of life but especially when someone's precious life is concerned. Mistakes do happen "sorry" huge goes a long way but not F/F records to protect selves each other & Industry work in.
I went to three cagiologists at one of the top clinics/hospitals in the United States for an undiagnosed breathing/heart problem. None of them would take me seriously even though I knew something was wrong. Finally I went to a fourth cardiologist who was the head of the cardiology department and in charge of the intensive care unit. He listened. He not only saved me from a heart/lung transplant, but he saved my life. I was a young female, 37 years old. I will turn 72 in September.
@@theskyisfallingtom This happens so systematically, I can only believe that the system itself is to blame. Doctors are trained to efficiently misuse probability and statistics, at the peril of the commonly improbable. There are *billions* of people in the world. Even if a tiny 1% are misdiagnosed, that's dozens of millions of people. But it's not 1%. The majority of patients that enter a hospital are repeatedly misdiagnosed before the doctor finally arrives at a correct diagnosis, the patient gives up, or the patient dies... All in a day's work, licensed and sanctioned by the state.
I've worked with doctors for over 20 years. Often, patients who speak up get mistreated. I spoke up about my anesthesia sensitivity and fully explained the issue. Didn't stop them from overdosing me. I have little respect for most doctors. I'm glad there are a few like you. YOU need to stand up to your colleagues and remind them that they are here to take care of patients.
Yes doctors do not like it when you are not a obidient slave... For 3 years now they have refused me treatment I need because I do not want to take the experimental unapproved harmful coward19 quacksine...
my dad (before he was murdered by malpractice of many different doctors at mercy hospital in missouri) was on a list for the dangers he presented to their little cameras they stuck down peoples throats. apparently if my dad was in what they called twilight he was considered a biter. the notes in large bold letters said "ensure full knock out, do not keep in twilight" or something to that extent. they had to put steel blocks between his upper and lower jaw jsut to ensure he didnt bite the camera into two pieces again. granted my dad is also a case study in the U.S for doctors learning about the rare case of people having extra valves in their hearts. he was the first person i believe in the U.S to be seen with it and the 4th in the world. some doctors that worked with my dad would sometimes reference him being a case study which always made him light up and feeling special. they suspect it may be hereditary but i havent had my heart checked. as far as i know my heart is fine and i dont trust doctors enough to be willing to let them check it anyways.
It helps if you live in an area where you have more choice, and if you have good insurance. Where I live, and if you have Medicare or Medicaid, your choices are severely limited.
Insurance doesn't make that a friendly experience. I did that once, and the replacement doctor had me going back to the original. I complained about my doctor only giving me more pills, and no real solutions. I got punished for pointing out the obvious. My doctor had me on deadly combinations and insurance did not care about that. They won't let you talk to them, either.
@edie4321 I've learned the pharmacist is much better with medications. Forget the doc, start asking the pharmacist some questions. Mine even helped me figure out a better medication for something. I went to the doc, got the medication, changed my life!
When your choices are an incompetent doctor or no doctor at all you do what you need to do in order to get even bad care. The problem with our current healthcare system is that in many areas there are only a limited number of specialists within an easy to travel distance and you might be limited to just one based on insurance. For example if there's only one endocrinologist in the area that takes your insurance and you have diabetes if you want your insulin you'll have to take who you can get. I have to travel an hour and a half to see one of my specialists and there is literally only one in the practice who can see me. They're the closest specialist of their kind and the only one that takes my insurance in the area.
The trouble is (and I've worked with doctors) many - too many - do have BIG egos. VERY big egos. It's so great when you get one who is more considered and thoughtful in their interactions with patients - and staff.
Ive been gaslit by surgeons. Ive been verbally abused by surgeons. Ive been humiliated by surgeons. Ive been patronised by surgeons, and held to surgical ransom by surgeons, all out of a simple need for control (yet I have been compliant with EVERY ask they placed on me). But Ive always been treated with kindness and compassion by anesthesiologist - and Ive loved every consult, and been cared for deeply by them even after the procedures. One stuck up for me after a C-section that sadly happened because of a traumatic motor vehicle accident, (I was 8 months pregnant and the impact of the steering wheel ruptured my abdominal wall) but because I "had a baby" - I was put on the post natal ward. I was given EVERY pain med possible, IV and suppositories, as i required a lot of internal injury repair and the C-section incision was from hip to hip. But after 12 hours, on the post natal ward (because remember - I had "only" had a baby), the nurse came in and announced "I think i will just give you a digesic - gee that anesthesiologist prescribed you some very dangerous medicatioons - theyre horrible drugs - we dont want you to get addicted now do we?". I gritted my teeth and just uttered "get that anesthesiologist up here NOW. Go call him NOW.". Feeling smug, she did, and he was there in minutes, and stood at my single but public system door and said clearly "Roxann can have 2 end one, every 4 hours, around the clock if she wants it. Ive prescribed domperidone and senna as well to prevent side effects, but she can have as much as she wants - I am NOT going to have my patients develop a pain trauma induced syndrome because of inadequate post surgical pain treatment". I also heard the psych registrar also paid a visit to the nurses station too. Thankyou for your kind videos. Im a big fan.
Nurse are butt heads difficult to work with not only do some of them make a patients life more difficult but staff as well especially in labor & delivery but OR nurses are kinder to patients than those in labor and delivery I never understood why could not figure out why they were so evil. They all want revenge. Iam glad you received good care as patient care is most important to me except last 10 years health care has gone woke & dei through gov agendas.
I've never heard of this term "pain trauma induced syndrome" do you know what he meant? My surgeon stuffed up and I woke up half way through and I was in agony, that was almost 7 years ago and I'm still suffering.
@@vickifreeman02 uncontrolled or unmanaged pain, esp that which is assoc with a trauma of some kind - whether it is physical or emotional, is known to trigger pain syndromes, where the central nervous system over reacts to pain, or is hypersensitive to pain stimulus. This is called hyperalgesia. So - its not that you are not in pain, the trauma of the unmanaged pain, supersentisies the pain receptors and pain syndromes can set in, and causes pain signals to amplify and or the immune system not switch of the inflammatory response (which also triggers pain receptors). Recently, because of opiatephobia, most searches wont say that unmanaged pain can cause hyperalgesia - they blame the medication, and if you G it - you just get explanations of opiate induced hyperalgesia. But 30 years ago, it was well understood that unmanaged pain can cause lingering sensivity pain problems - worse than is necessary. By the way I do have a degree in pathology and pharmacology. Im a pain patient and educated. Not that it changes the way Im treated by some practitioners - but still. SOme are great, some are less great. Thats all i can say.... Hope that helps
I had a very bad experience with an anesthesiologist. She asked me the normal questions about my surgery history and right in the middle of my answer she turned and walked out the door. A few months after the surgery I found out I have a partially collapsed lung due to her incompetence (or maybe deliberate injury) she inflicted on me.
When I had my first baby I “knew” there was something medically wrong with her but didn’t know what. Fortunately, I had a family doctor who understood about mothers instinct. (I had a previous 12 years experience taking care of babies and young children) She had a UTI and he sent her for an ultrasound. At 5 months, we were referred to a children’s hospital and at 14 months, she had a kidney surgery. I’m so blessed that I had such a caring and non-dismissive doctor
Children especially a baby getting a uti is not common… i suspect your baby was possibly sexually abused. I’ve read about this being a possible red flag. Was she a bed wetter also later? If not, I’m happy for the two of you that that is not the case.
@@imaamericangirl1406 you are gross to make such horrendous assumption. There are other ways to get infected that don't involve what you immediately thought about.
Thank you for your replies. I really REALLY need to fire my current doctor. I keep putting it off because, frankly, I am kind of afraid of her. Sad, huh?
I had a doctor at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN tell me that whatever it was that was wrong with me, it was all in my head, after 10 days of tests, and procedures and exams! 3 months later I was diagnosed with Epstein-Barr Virus, and my titer count was off the charts! I was definitely gaslit by that doctor. It was that experience, in 2000, that made me become the strongest advocate for myself I could be! And yes, I trust my gut instincts a lot!
When I was 14 yrs old had sever back stomach pain went to hospital for 2 years they booked appointment to have brest reduction my mom says having big boobs don't cause this pain my mom told them to look at my gallbladder they did finally found 4 gull stones size of golf balls so I have a really hard time trusting any dr
I’m an RN, and spent some years working in the O.R. I adore anesthesiologists! They are the true heroes, not the arrogant surgeons who denigrate the rest of the team, including, sometimes, the anesthesiologist! I’ve seen surgeons throw things, yell, and rage. Really, the egos are out of control. “Captain of the ship” indeed!
Sausalito anesthesiologists aren't always so nice! I had a huge argument with one once while starting the surgical process to the point where the surgeon stepped in told the other Dr to shut up! The fight started after I objected to his radio choice of songs another bites the dust was the song playing!
I had liver cancer and had one of the top surgeons in the country operate on me. He teaches at the University of Chicago. We had a great relationship immediately. He respected me and was also kind. I felt he really cared about me. He saved my life.
My life was saved by a "butcher" then he managed to ruin my life by leaving me with a huge mess while doing a "hernia repair." Two doctors I've spoken with warned me about having it fixed, that I could easily end up worse off. Worse off than constant drainage from infested hernia mesh, worse off than having a huge hernia whereas I started with a small one, worse off not being able to walk properly. I would have much preferred not having my life "saved."
@@dd1984mm I think that lawsuit was a certain brand of mesh, not all hernia meshes. I had to have a naval hernia redone, but I never looked into if it had been the brand that was the subject of a lawsuit. The second surgery is holding up very nicely.
This is by far your best content!!!! I had routine surgery planned in my 20s. He came in and announced a different procedure. I questioned it and he said, " Well don't you want to get better?" I went a long with it. He accidentally punctured my bowel and didn't believe me when I woke. I almost died. I had a colonoscopy bag for 2 years and it changed me. Anxiety, depression etc.. No personal injury lawsuit will get that back. Doctors are people and some are very tired, flawed, and have the same bad habits as your plumber! Always ask your questions, and if it's making you want to run... Do! Reschedule surgery until your anxious feelings are gone. Your life might depend on it.
I would beg to differ. The rate of suicide among psychiatrists is through the roof. I'm not saying there are no egomaniacs around, only, it's not universal.
Patients will be the suicide victims if health care don't pull back on dei & woke agenda all this makes every person working in health care job difficult especially the big egos doctors & nurses have.
I think it's the fundamental power imbalance when you're ill and in the hands of someone who is deciding your fate. It does make you doubt yourself, no question.
@@EvelynBaron whenever possible, bring a close relative or friend into the office with you. I have noticed male doctors suddenly are more respectful if there's another male there.
@@valmacclinchy I made the experience, that the doctor (hypnotherapy psychocomatic clinic) was very rude to my partner (XXY btw) when he entered the door of the office. The doctor said to me "Are you in Kindergarten that you need someone to hold your hand?" and to my friend "Go out of here!". Maybe it was a mistake that he came later in. By the time I was a people-pleaser completely disconnected from my feelings and had zero trust in myself to speak up for me.
@@kalima7446 sorry to hear that happened to you. I hope you have found a better doctor. A doctor should never tell you that you can't have someone in the room with you!!
@@valmacclinchy Thank you. Yes I found a better doctor soon after. For him (from Turkey btw knows how important family is?) it was completely normal that we come together. But since laughing about my choice what c treatments I let into my body and me feeling threatened by him I'm again without local doctor. Feeling better and better, more connected with myself. Thanks to Dr. Cat's Primal Trust, Liz Tenuto's somatic exercises.
I complained about “my port catheter stabbing my heart” because I was having shortness of breath and chest pain. Long story short, they blew me off, I hit a deer on the highway which sent me to the ER and they found 2 pulmonary embolism. I was put in intensive care. I was scheduled for reconstructive surgery a week out which was postponed because of blood clots. That deer saved my life. There are awesome doctors out there, but still advocate for yourself.
I think the lesson here is not to self-diagnose, they blew you off because they dismissed "stabbing my heart" as paranoia. I often figure out what is going on with me on my own, but if I need to see a doctor I won't tell them what I think it is. I will try to describe symptoms and ask questions that lead them to what I think is going on, without being obvious. It's psychology, just like how you don't tell your boss what to do - you have to let them think it was their idea.
I had back surgery in April at Johns Hopkins Baltimore. My experience was wayyyy different than this. I was asked multiple times where the surgery was occurring. Had to initial the location twice with a mirror and the nurses and doctors in the room watching. Asked multiple times why I was there and for what. I told them my entire drug history, including recreational drug use. They found out that one of the drugs I was taking thinned my blood too much and we postponed my operation for a week till my blood started clotting. They also asked me multiple times, over and over, if I was forgetting anything or something I missed, and why it’s important to remember. The entire experience changed my tune on hospital environments and doctors in general. It was a very, very good experience. Feeling like a million bucks and can’t thank the Hopkins team enough.
JH in Baltimore is wonderful. I've been a cancer patient there for nearly 2 years now. I've had a biopsy, surgery with a week long hospital stay, numerous scans, 50 rounds of radiation, chemotherapy and am still getting immunotherapy. The staff have all been thorough, careful, and kind. Like you, the care I've been receiving at Johns Hopkins has changed my negative opinion. (I've had bad experiences in the past.) But I am so grateful for the medical staff at Johns Hopkins.
Good information. I generally have an assertive nature, so being gaslighted really sets off my radar. Here is an example of two gas situations that happened to my mother at the same time. 10 years ago my mother went into the hospital for spinal surgery after another hospital diagnosed her with “muscle pull” and gave her pain pills. The surgeon said her spine was a “ mess” and should have been easily seen by the other hospital. While recovering from surgery, my mother was telling me how great she felt. However, after a couple of days, she started to feel bad. Her foreign, hospitalist doctor said she was doing fine. I could see my mother declining and told her she was getting worse. That hospitalist doctor told me I was wrong and ignored me. I felt this doctor was incompetent. The next morning I came in and saw she had declined further and found she had a new foreign hospitalist doctor. I pleaded with that doctor, who was very young but attentive, that my mother was dying and could she please run some tests to confirm it. She actually did as I asked and called me at work to come to the hospital immediately. My mother had to go in to surgery that afternoon because she had a perforated intestine. She recovered over the next month or so after having major surgery to remove a piece of her colon. When you have a loved one in the hospital, you need to actively assess their condition daily, or else.
Wow you advocated for your mother & did a good job its scary that you had to fight to help her when they should have known. You mentioned forgien doctor I call that dei flunkies which have no skill & are passed through the health care system would have been removed 15 years ago but now nit wits like this are protected its hurting health care in America very dangerous. Some no speak english awful county hospitals have these types & have many low income patients & treatment is bad. The hospital doctor should have been running test anyway to make sure all is going well. Avoid foreign doctors due to this dei nonsense. How did her bowel become perforated? From the spinal surgery? Iam glad you realized what was going on it bothers me to hear these things happen in my field.
Similar thing with my dad. He had fallen at age 88 and the hospital admitted him to rehab to help build up strength in his legs. After a week he couldn’t keep anything down and his stomach was extended. My mom pointed this out and all they wanted to do was give him an enigma. My dad kept telling them that wasn’t the problem. My mom finally yanked him out of there and put him back in the hospital. They quickly figured out his urethra was blocked and he couldn’t pee. The ursine had backed up into his stomach, which was why he couldn’t hole anything down. They caught it barely in time to keep his bladder from bursting. Unfortunately, due to his age and that the bladder had been extended for so long, it was. I longer able to push the urine out, so they had to cut a hole and insert a permanent catheter.
@@HarpMuse 😱 I’m so sorry that happened. According to research, a lot of patients die due to a low-nurse and doctor to patient ratio that is set differently by each state…. Democrats and Republicans prefer to support their popular politicians (who enable low patient care by supporting dangerous hospital and insurance standards of care). As a surgery tech student 2/20 months into the program, I read these comment sections very often to be very aware and to learn advice about how to help the patients be their healthiest and CONTINUE being their healthiest (both mentally and physically). Also as a surgery tech, I’ve already heard/seen hundreds of people say/write that the surgeons they work with are MEAN/NARCISSISTS/UNETHICAL EGOISTS/STUBBORN/RUDE/TOO PRIDEFUL TO ADMIT MISTAKES. (Same as Democrat/Republican voters… can’t admit their mistakes). Luckily, being a caregiver for the last recent 10 years to mentally abusive colorist racist elderly people from Whittier, CA, I trained myself to use extreme compassion and empathy and extreme positivity and body language and my voice to turn them from frustrated, mean, hateful, mad, rude, abusive individuals to people who ended up calling me their other granddaughter and saying they loved me and pleading for me to stay with them and telling the office that they preferred me as their caregiver. If I was able help them heal and change their hearts, then I’m confident I can help improve surgeon’s mental health in the OR. (Side note, my clients never stopped being colorist racists, they just became sweeter in general ❤ 🥰). Side note: medical staff has a high suicide rate and high depression rate when they have low nurse-to-patient ratios. Not only are nurses bullied by doctors, but nurses bully each other too.
@@100samanthamarie Our health care and educations systems are two of our most important systems, but are two of the most underpaid, undervalued instititions. I'm not surprised the suicide rate is high. I've had great doctors that seem to really care and listen to me, but more of them tend to think because they have a degree in medicine they know everything, and me being a woman know nothing. I've learned to not let them bully me and will walk away. Thank you for being a caring technician!
I had a doctor tell me I had an ingrown toenail. As my toes were turning black I kinda doubted his diagnosis and got a second opinion. I had a blood clot in my illiac artery that could have killed me. I had two stents implanted and have now recovered. I confronted the original doctor about his diagnosis and he denied saying it was an ingrown toenail. I told him I wasn’t confronting him for an argument but wanted to educate him before he killed someone. He was not a happy doc that day.
I discovered this guy as I'm having a few general anaesthetics following facial fractures. I had a huge phobia of general anaesthesia due to a friend anaesthetist relating her difficult cases (and more), and also having had a very bad experience when an anaesthetist could not make me sleep. 'Count to 10' - I gave up at 60. They left me in a tiny anti-room surrounded by medical equipment, with a shut door at my feet and a door just behind, shut. I could make out the theatre lights through the window of the door in front. Another person arrived with a small team, all masked, and this person tried to put me to sleep. Again it didn't work. On the third attempt they tried some kind of liquid and said I would feel cold going up my arm, and this time it would work. It was dreadful, the cold, gradually moving upwards, like a horror movie and from that time on, general anaesthetics freaked me out. Many years later I had an accident and have just had two general anaesthetics. In between the horror story and now, I discovered there is a God (!) who loves and wants me free of fear to live in peace. I didn't know this. Incredibly, while lying on the table waiting to be put to sleep I saw the face of Jesus (yep, can't believe I'm saying this) between me and the medical equipment. He whispered, "Look at me." I did and was consumed with peace. I've just had another anaesthetic and the same thing happened again. Well, I think God's healing is probably a lot quicker and more efficient than this world's solutions. I am completely free of fear! No matter what they do to me! Thank you to this doctor too, because having explanations always helps. If only more doctors gave the time to explain what was happening.
I’m the advocate for everyone in my family. I never let them go alone. None of us have had bad experiences. I always believe it’s because there is someone there. My mother is almost 90 and she doesn’t always say what she needs to, so I fill in details so it’s a clear picture. Her med caregivers appreciate that so much.
I took a chance and shared childhood trauma with my surgeon whom I came to trust. He thanked me and I thought that was the end of it. When wheeled into surgery 3 weeks ago, and as the propofol went in, a nurse leaned over and said, “You’re safe and we will take care of you.” Don’t know for sure yet, but I imagine the surgeon told the team. Was the best thing that could have happened for me. I had no post op issues-as far as I know that is.
There are some nurses and even doctors who will say that to every patient when going under. That little piece of empathy that many HCPs have for their patients situation.
I know that first hand, I finally left my PCP after 14 years of being misdiagnosed, etc. I never told him I was leaving but he found out and on my final visit yelled and berated me (he's done this before for other reasons. One of many reasons I changed doctors.) Was never spoken to like that before. I thought of filing a complaint, but decided not to. I dumped him instead.
I am a diabetic. My physician left and a month later lost my health insurance. Almost a year later I had insurance and immediately set up an appointment to get my insulin levels back in control. When I arrived the nurse pricked my finger to test my sugar. When the doctor walked in she didn't even look at me. She was very hostile and wanted to know why I hadn't been taking my medicine. I explained that without insurance my medication alone would cost me 2x my monthly salary. It didn't matter what I said. She would roll her eyes and make snide comments. I finally spoke up and said, look I am here to get help. If you don't want to help me then just say so. She started yelling at me. I ended up looking up the entire board member list for the facility, the HR, the head of nursing and wrote individual letters to all of them. I received calls and they seemed very proactive. I definitely got the impression I was not the first person to complain. While I of course will never go back, I hope I saved someone else the trauma of be treated so poorly by someone who is suppose to be there to help someone.
You are my hero. I saw a sign on the exam room door at an urgent care. The sign read do not abuse the healthcare workers. I thought there should be a sign saying do not abuse the patients. I need to be courageous and stand up for my parents and myself the next time we are abused by healthcare workers. You give me strength. Thanks for sharing your story.
@@michelled34 Michelle, thank you for being so strong and standing up for yourself and being an example for others to stand up for themselves and how to go about it.Much appreciated. ❤️🙏
Me too. I have medical trauma relating to my very first surgery ever. I filed a grievance with the hospital. If I don't get any satisfaction, the next step will be the state agency and then a lawyer 😤 😒.
Went to ER with swollen painful hand after falling. They diagnosed a sprain and "possible" fracture. Went to orthopedic next day for more x rays and had 2 breaks and a fracture! Sad when a hospital cannot even diagnose broken bones! Scary as hell.
And I have had / are having good outcomes without trusting them, but trusting in our creator and Jesus Christ for my healing . Read Isaiah 53:5 - He took everything on the cross - If I need to trust anybody it is HIM, Jesus Christ , the way, the truth and the life
I had a surgery literally scream at me after surgery because I told him I was in pain. He said it was all in my head and that I needed psychiatric help! A few hours later a nurse checked on me and spoke with a different surgeon and they discovered the first doctor HAD screwed up and his actions were causing my pain. The new doctor redid the surgery and I was fine. To this day, 25 years later that A$$hole doctor has NEVER apologized and/ or admitted he was wrong. As far as I'm concerned all of the good doctors who truly cared have retired or quit. I'd rather die than trust another doctor. You, are an exception. I wish you were where I am or could be cloned. Please don't EVER change.
@@Sushi2735 Lawyers don't care unless the patient actually dies. I almost died and when I contacted lawyers that was basically what they said. Medical malpractice cases are expensive and time consuming so they only accept ones that will give them a big pay out.
@@Sushi2735 Thank you. It is really sad that there really isn't anyone to fight for the patient. It is like doctors can do whatever they want until it kills a patient. I never got an apology either after they almost killed me. They broke me and no one cares
I am the polite one, and have experienced all three. Absolutely, I have politely had to fight through crippling anxiety of confrontation, when doctors at times have been flat out incorrect, and gaslighting the garbage out of me. 😢
My 84 year old father was in life threatening condition after a head on collision. I have no medical back ground, however, I am good at asking questions and I'm not afraid to ask. Better questions get better answers especially when you do research. I think when a doctor sees that you are invested and will never stop asking questions till the best outcome is reached there's a difference in care. After 11 days on life support, bleeding on the brain, fracture C2 and T10, liver nearly torn in half, multiple blood transfusions, pulverized hip and pelvis. Not only did my dad survive, he learned how to walk again and eventually he was living on his own. Surprisingly my dad even got his divers's license back which I wasn't too happy about but that's another story.
Wow re your dad's recovery. Double wow for knowing the importance of asking good questions. (If info from dr is too complicated to understand, many drs respond well when asked to explain in laymen's terms.) So sorry re driver's license. A very senior relative refused to give his up until he sideswiped a tractor trailer and ended up in a ditch.
I Have had 2 experiences with this. Awful! They seemed very uncaring and took no responsibility for their actions. I was given a paralyzing drug WITHOUT phenobarbital only bc the surgery schedule was running behind. I was fully awake and suffocating ....a slow death that was horrible. I have never felt such pain my head was exploding, I was gasping and desperately trying to get a breath but my lungs were paralyzed My last thought before I passed out was that they had killed me. Another routine surgery left me dissabled. I confronted both so called "doctors" I was never even given an apology. They seem to think that patients are inanimate objects.
I’ve had severe medical PTSD for years from trauma and how I was treated and the things that went on in hospitals. I tell them things and they don’t believe me when they find out I have anxiety they just assume that I’m exaggerating. And I was given medication for high blood pressure and I have told him I’m very sensitive to drugs and I’ve never taken anything like that and I told him I’ve had severe side effects from a lot of drugs, and that I really didn’t want to do it. They gave me the drug. My blood pressure dropped so fast and I was out. They had left me alone in the emergency room, and if my friend had not been present, I would not be here today. That happened last November. Then they came in and shamed me and said I just had anxiety and I should’ve never come there, basically it was my fault. And they had to keep me overnight and they were angry because I went unconscious. They had no choice. I was treated very badly and they were very cold and very disrespectful to me. Telling me I need to get therapy. I said I do therapy. I told you I have PTSD from events that took place in medical facilities from things that happened in the past. but also that I was very careful about any drug. I took because of severe side effects and how they seem to affect me and that I don’t always respond like other people do that people are different and don’t react the same and that I normally don’t need the same amount of medication as other people do. later, when the nurse came in, she laughed at me and said, at least your blood pressure went down! There was eight people in my room, trying to reverse the drug because I was out with in less than 60 seconds I could feel my whole body burning all over and I called out to my friend. Please help me that something was very wrong call for help and I could feel myself going. That was just one simple drug used for high blood pressure. My friend who’s a pharmacist told me it was a very strong drug with many many side effects. They wouldn’t even let the ER doctor come back and talk to me. They sent in the hospitalist and he’s the one who started to berate me. My friend said she told them all of this before they insisted upon giving this to her. It was a terrible experience and I did report them to the patient advocate and they went through the board and they said they were sorry that I feel that I had a bad experience, but that they did nothing wrong.
In February 2022, I was diagnosed with kidney stones and hydronephrosis in both kidneys. The urologist broke up the stones and put in stents to let the kidneys drain. Learned my ureters are very narrow as the right one became scarred and would not function on its own. I had the first of several nephrostomies (with external bag) installed through my back by a surgeon. Fast forward to Tuesday, July 12, 2022. I still have a nephrostomy bag. Urologist decides he’s going to remove the nephrolostomy. He’s standing behind me while his assistant is beginning to remove the tube via my urethra. When the bag hits my back the urologist suddenly realizes his mistake. He yanks the tube back through my urethra, ureter, kidney, and out my back. By the next morning I was feverish, nauseated and had a raging headache. By that night I woke screaming that I couldn’t get warm. The Thursday, July 14, I was in the ER having tests run, having a nephrostomy bag reinstalled by the original surgeon, and my labs came back with sepsis. I was admitted, filled with antibiotics and fluids, and by the 16th they determined the sepsis was caused by e. Coli. I was finally released with more antibiotics late on Sunday, July 17. I had missed my anniversary dinner with my husband. A month later the urological surgeon in the same practice as the urologist performed a function evaluation and determined my right kidney was only functioning at 25%. The original doctor never did a functionality test, so there’s no way of knowing how much of the damage was caused by the sepsis brought on by his errors and indifference. My right kidney was removed September 20, 2022. I never saw the urologist after he pulled the nephrostomy from my back. In fact, on their online portal, that visit doesn’t even appear. I have severe PTSS from that day and whole experience. I canceled my last two appointments for follow-up with the surgeon because I couldn’t enter that office. Unfortunately, my husband discouraged me from pursuing legal action because he thought it would be impossible to win. By the time I decided to try (before the two-year SoL was up, all the local firms were busy with multiple murder cases against a local hospital due to a nurse stealing narcotics from patients and injecting several of them with tap water. You can’t make this stuff up.
I think they trusted YOU as much as trusting their instincts. Anesthesiologists are always the nicest doctors, I've found. So, there you go...keep doing what you're doing. Thank you.
At one point in my life, I was getting chemotherapy. I had a professional job and came in looking pretty good. The doc didn't take me serious on my complaints of not feeling well, etc. He said - but you look reallly good. I learned after that to come in without makeup and crappy clothes so I could be taken seriously.
I had a doctor who used to say the same to me when I was 16/17. Being a teenager, I'd always wear make-up and try to look my best. I was on steroids for my condition, which typically give you a "moon face" (we all know that sometimes when told you look well, it's because you've gained weight) I was getting skinnier by the day and felt awful, some days I'd pass out/fall asleep/throw up/have no energy (& other unpleasantsymptoms). My Doctor would tell me I was doing well on the drugs he'd prescribed and send me on my way. My Mom saw me declining daily, so she came along to my next appointment. She told me not to wear make-up and reiterated the problems I was having. I later found out that as my Mom had come with me early on, with my baby sister in tow, the doctor thought she was my child, so dismissed my tiredness. When he saw me without my war paint on, and in an outfit that showed how painfully thin I was despite the fat face I was admitted to hospital. I was there for two weeks, home for a week then had to be re-admitted for a further two weeks. My doctor had made assumptions and didn't listen to me "because I was so young". That's never happened again. I've packed up and tried to leave hospital over a handful of times (twice in a one week stay) two different consultants have chased after me to apologise for errors made for not listening to me. After 30 years living with chronic conditions, I know my own body. I know what medications I'm on & why. I always speak up and won't be dismissed for; being too young, a hypochondriac, hormonal, having no medical training, being old[er] an so on. I do however listen to advice, ask lots of questions and make notes to refer to later on. I've got my entire medical history on my emergency notes on my phone (accessible to all) I also have it all on paper for times when I'm not able to speak or to give to someone to when I need them to advocate for me. I hate having to change general practitioners when I move, but over the years I've always found ones I can trust and once had every doctor in one practice that I was comfortable with who I trusted. My relationships with my current GP's and specialists are that of mutual respect, trust & honesty. Thank God for the NHS (except the severe difficulties and struggles brought about by poor/under funding from govt, excess red tape & the appointment of too many middle managers/paper pushers)
I’ve had similar experiences. I apparently mask my pain very well so doctors blow me off and I’ve been sent away or misdiagnosed because of it and had to return or go to other doctors later. Once they finally saw evidence of what I was dealing with, they would flip out and start offering me pain meds and shift into high gear trying to solve the problem.
During chemotherapy, when I was feeling so crappy that I couldn't get out of bed, I was told to get some exercise. They tell you beforehand that any side effects can be treated with medication, but when it comes down to it, you're on your own. 🙄
When I was at my worst, it a 2nd year resident at a walk in clinic that listened to me, not my family doctor, not anybody else. This kid listened, ordered the right tests, with the right urgency, and very likely saved my life. My family doctor still had the cojones to argue with the specialist I was referred to, who had confirmed the resident's diagnosis. Sheer hubris.
After losing two family members to cancer.. my mother would always get annoyed at me when speaking up, asking questions and asking for help.. this was refreshing to listen to and helped me realize I’ve been doing the right thing.. she possibly was the gaslighter towards me lol
Thank you for this informative lesson. I had Lithotripsy almost 42 years ago for an impacted right kidney. By a Doctor that I had full trust in. 40+ years experience, then a professor at college that would be doing the procedure. Had zero complications. Back before MRI I had an X-ray. My kidney was like a white light...so many stones. Blessed they were not stag horn stones. I still came out with kidney damage from those stones. Fast forward 42 years, now 67, again needing a procedure to rid me of a stone blocking path out of my kidney. A younger urologist this time told me if I didn't have one of two procedures, my right kidney would be dead in a year. Then stated he preferred having an incision in my back, a newer procedure. Also informing me that he wasn't sure he would be successful at getting to the stone causing partial blockage by doing either procedure. With that information I chose to once again choose (Lithotripsy). I had the feeling the Doctor was less than pleased I made that choice, solely from his mannerisms at my pre appointment date. And having so very briefly seeing me before the procedure in the hospital. Not seeing me after the procedure while still in hospital. Nor discussing how it went at a later time 10 days later, at appointment to remove the stent in his office. All in all I am not very pleased all the way around with this doctor. And here I am again looking at another procedure on my left kidney also having stones. I am at a loss as to what to do this time. I live in a rural area with not many options as to what to do in regards to urologist availability or hospital.
I wish more doctors were like you!! I can’t bring myself even to go to the hospital due to so much medical anxiety and cptsd! From being gaslit so many times!!!
My father was an MD and JD. I could tell you tales of malpractice that would set your hair on fire. A man who had the wrong leg removed and was left with none. A newborn left in the nursery with a raging fever until his brain was physically gone. Women orally raped during surgery by their anesthesiologist while the surgeons ignored what was going on. I could go on and on. You must trust you gut, find your voice and if you can, bring a friend to observe what you might miss when under stress. Dr. Kaveh's doing a real service here. I takes courage to speak out.
This is so important. I kept asking my Radiology Oncologist if I really needed all the treatment in a clinical trial. I was upfront, due to my mastectomy complications, I wanted the minimum. He kept saying they were required. I researched and it didn’t make sense. So I called another facility in the trial. While they were specific no medical advice could be given, I was told to ask the question again and get another opinion elsewhere if the answer was the same. Had I not done my own research and reached out beyond my hospital, I would have been over treated. Yes, the department is aware of his treatment.
In a clinical trial, the researchers need you to follow the protocol for them to get useful data. If you're uncomfortable with it (which is ok), please tell them so you can either drop out, or they will know not to count your results in the data.
@@disqusrubbish5467 I did the same day of the appointment he admitted to not giving proper informed consent that the trial gave more treatment than I needed. And I know not all trials are like this. Had a wonderful experience with a breast cancer vaccine trial that I completed and am excited that it may help save patients one day. It was a night and day difference how was treated.
I have heard of women being refused treatment unless they take part in clinical trials, we dont have to be guineapigs for so.e arseholes ego who doesnt know the true meaning of informed consent or patient centred care.
I like the "fake it til you make it " idea. Even if you feel small because of the way they treat you, STAND UP TO DISRESPECT AND ABUSE. PRETEND, IF YOU HAVE TO, THAT YOU ARE NOT INTIMIDATED BY THEM! I WILL NEVER, EVER, LET THEM INSULT OR DISRESPECT ME, AGAIN. THEY ARE NARCISSISTS.
I've been there before, after going to 3 different ERs , vascular Dr, dermatologist for answers to why I have pitting edema in both legs/feet ,crying, begging for help and the say they don't know! I've lived with this for 5 years and don't know who else to turn to.
@@Cad42676. I have that pitting edema in all the places u mentioned, also. Both legs and feet. He prescribed a diuretic to flush the fluid out, but that doesn’t take very much out. Also am suppose to wear the support hose, but I CANT for the life of me, get them on!! Putting and keeping your feet up in air, against wall 2 times a day for at least 20 min. Is suppose to help, but don’t think I’ve seen a change. Also do feet and ankle exercises without sny change! Have u tried any of these things? I imagine your Dr. told u about most of those, or seen videos about done, like I have. I’ve only been to ONE DR. , though. I need to go to at least one or 2 more to see if they csn find anything! I don’t know WHAT TO DO, either!! I’ve had mine for about a yr and a half! I know this is NOT normal, and am scared what it might bring on!! I feel for u!!
I was a nice patient being ignored for my stomach issues that I described. I changed doctors and my new doctor found cysts in my liver and pancreas and issues with my colon . I am monitored every 6 months with an MRI. Love my new doctor.
I think another important thing is to know when to bail on your doctor. I had a total hip replacement 13 years ago that went really well. I loved my doc. Seven years after the surgery, I developed symptoms of greater trichanteric bursitis on the outside of that hip. I saw him three times over a 4 year period for this. The last time, he said, “if it’s not better in a year, come back to see me.“ My inner voice was all like, “hell no!” He, along with two other doctors, said it wouldn’t help to have an MRI of that hip, because the metal would “scatter“ the image. I found another hip replacement doc, who said, “yes we can MRI that hip. We can use metal suppression MRI” 😮 Getting that done today. And now I have a new hip doctor. 💃🏻
As someone who has had a heart transplant at 16, a kidney transplant at 26, and cancer now at 43 I’m always 100% honest with my doctor. It makes zero sense to keep anything from them. They aren’t going to rat you out. They don’t care about whether you say something incriminating. Now I’ve never done drugs or anything but I’m always listening and making sure whatever they read off is correct. Nowadays they ask you what you are having done to see if YOU know what’s going on. If you don’t then there is a problem. You need to just be aware of everything before going to sleep so that way no surprises. Accidents happen and sometimes patients try to get through those checklists too fast and screw it up for themselves. This is your life so just pay attention. And FOLKS if you get a doctor you don’t like don’t be afraid to ask for a different doctor. I had the head of endoscopy the chief insult me in the hallway to his partner and I screamed at the staff and said I know you heard that. They said he does it all the time and he’s the chief. I said well I need another doctor because he will not be doing my operation. You stick with your gut. Smart words. Don’t ever settle for a doctor that is rude or who doesn’t believe or validate what you are going through.
They do, “rat you out.” One time I asked a doctor for antidepressant medication. She excused herself and returned shortly. A few minutes later 2 very large male police entered. I started crying and the police towered over me yelling at me to calm down. I am a small woman. Later I learned that the doctor had made a mistake. Doctors can’t force people into hospitalization for asking for medication. People have to have an active plan to hurt themselves. I didn’t and I didn’t tell her that I did. But it doesn’t matter. I will never be honest again.
Most doctors cannot communicate and let their egos drive the “conversation.” Teaching basic communications and basic everyday manners should be essential in med school. Absolutely essential.
@amy83079 There are a lot of ego issues amongst doctors. And there are also mega control issues some of which arise from imposter syndrome, incompetence and fear of failure. If you save lives for a living, you can't afford to look like an amateur even when you screw up.
I woke up in post-op following a total shoulder replacement surgery with incredible HOT pain that felt like I was being branded. I was told the anesthetic in a “PainBuster” ball would keep my shoulder and arm numb and pain would be minimal or no pain. After repeating over and over that my arm was on fire I was hooked up to a Fentanyl drip on a PCA pump. It took the edge off the pain so they whisked me off to a surgical floor. My husband and a friend came in around two hours later and I was crying from the pain. I’d repeatedly told my nurse that something was wrong because I could move my fingers and arm and I was in intense pain (all things my doctor said I couldn’t do and wouldn’t feel while the Painbuster pump was in my shoulder), but my nurse ignored me until my husband came in. My nurse overheard me telling him that I’d been in pain ever since I woke in post-op, but it seemed like even the Fentanyl wasn’t helping anymore and my shoulder and arm were on fire. Long story short….The Painbuster pump was found to be clamped off (and must have been since surgery), and a nurse giving an IV push medication failed to restart the Fentanyl pump over 90 minutes back, so I had NO pain medication on board. It was awful and traumatic!!
I had shoulder replacement surgery after an accident. It is the most horrible pain for months and months. As a nurse, those nurses should have checked everything when the pain medication was not working.
I woke up like that from eye surgery when I was 6. My hand and arm was on fire, screaming and crying, didn't care how my eye felt. Turns out the IV had been placed in a major nerve in my hand rather than the vein, using an adult sized needle rather than child sized (and after busting up the veins in my other hand). I'm pushing 40 now and still can't see or feel an IV on/in me without going into full blown panic attacks over it.
When I had knee surgery, I wrote “yes” on the knee they were supposed to operate on and then “no” on the knee that was fine and didn’t need surgery. The surgery team took it in stride and one nurse said I was smart to do that.
Every joint surgery I’ve had,the surgeon comes in before and marks the joint to be operated on. I’m asked by the anesthesiologist,the surgeon,and nurses what joint before they start. And the surgeon signs his initials on the joint beforehand. Not understanding why this isn’t done in all hospitals.
I had knee surgery 3 weeks ago and they had me write yes on my knee and I asked if I needed to write no on the other leg and they said no because some Dr won’t notice what it said just that there’s writing and do the wrong one. After I write yes the Dr came in and wrote his name.
@robincolbert3430 ~ I've heard of a surgeon removing the healthy side of a lung (!!!) rather than the side that should've been removed. So the poor person has to be on a ventilator the rest of their life!!! How the *HECK* that surgeon didn't realize they were removing the healthy side is beyond me!! I would *DEFINITELY* mark which site needed surgery!!!
@@priscillamoore5736 That's appalling incompetence on the part of everyone involved, especially the surgeon for not double checking. I feel for the person who has been left in such a condition. Terrible.
When I had surgery in april this year it brought up a huge old trauma of mine. As a 3 year old I had an accident where I broke my skull especially the bones in my face (eyes, nose, sinus caverties, jaws you name it). I was very lucky to have survived at all and with minimal scarring to my brain and face. So this year there was a big benign tumor in my sinus caverty (probably caused by the accident so many years ago) it had already destroyed the bone and filled half of my eye socket too. It also put pressure on the Trigeminus nerv which hurts like hell... I saw the actual surgeon for less than 10 minutes the day before and less than 30 seconds after the surgery. He told my that he couldn't foresee if he would go in through my nose, mouth or eye that that would be decided during surgery and when I told him that I was afraid not knowing what would happen to me while I'm under especially because of the trauma from the accident, he just shrugged and said it couldn't be helped. The actual surgery went very well but when I woke up I still didn't know what happend and no one would tell me except that surgery is over and everthing went well. I was in so much pain and couldn't open my eyes because everytime I did it was like a drill went through my right eye into my brain. Because you can open just one eye of course but even with a closed lid the other will move too. I was told that my left eye is alright and why I didn't want to open it. When I said it hurt too much I was told that that wasn't possible. It was days later when I was told that they could remove the tumor in total, that it was most likely benign and that they had to cut through a nerv to do so (but that will heal, even though it takes up to a year) and that they had to put in titanium mash and two screws to seal the bottom of my eye pocket shut again. The only painkillers I got was Paracetamol 500mg which had the same effect like chocolate drops. I was in massive pain. And. I. Couldn't. SEE! No one cared. They even scolded me because I couldn't eat and had high bloodpressure and when I broke down and cried after three days I was told that it's no wonder when I'm in so much pain if I keep crying because that way the swelling wouldn't go down and the neither would the pain... I've had two abdominal surgeries before and compared to this they were a walk in the park. So even when you talk to the doctors it's not guaranteed that they will LISTEN!
I love your channel Dr. Kaveh. As a very experienced (ex) Healthcare professional (RN on a ICU step down unit that also was med/surg floor) I have some genetic health problems like osteoporosis and 2 clotting disorders. I had a horrible leg break and ended up in the ICU as well as the unit i worked on during my nursing career. It was during yhe height of the covid pandemic it was 90% covid patents although during all of 2020 and 2021 I was a patient on that unit. I didn't have covid but I was in a airborne precautions room in isolation for the entire covid deal pretty much. I was extremely sick with malnutrition, 3 pressure ulcers on my backside. A coccyx one and one on each thigh. There were all unstagesble pressure ulcers where you could see the spinal cord and both femures they were necrotic and I was on hospice twice during that time but I lived through it with many surgeries, multiple wound vacs, many hours of woundcare twice a day. Usually about 4 hours with 2 nurses helping and I assisted with the wounds on my belly and sides. They wanted to do a complete amputation at the waist but I avoided that thank God! 🙏 I am paralyzed from the waist down and incontinent due to spinal cord damage when it was exposed with the coccyx ulcer and advanced osteomyelitis. I have lived my life in bed since I first broke that leg late 2019. Thankfully I have a grea 24/7 caregiver and home health. I enjoy continuing my education and your channel as well as excellent courses available for free on TH-cam have got me living a acceptable life!! Thank you! -Adam
Continue to heal and share your words with others. We often fail to realize how fortunate we are. It sounds as if your care could have been managed so much better. Many of the things you listed should never have occurred. God bless you. Lp ✨
I wish there were more physicians like you. I almost died because of a Dr with an ego. I fortunately was transferred to a hospital and had an amazing surgeon.
He is 100% correct. I unfortunately have had many doctors since childhood due to an autoimmune condition and most of them were dismissive, uncaring and/or rude. I would be discouraged but my sister that’s a nurse told me to be my own health care advocate and it transformed my experience with doctors. I now have a conversation with every new physician I see before we address any issues I’m being treated for about patient and doctor etiquette and the steps I will take for poor care or treatment of me as a person and patient, so I rarely run into the problems that I had before. Please speak up because it can save your life in more ways than you think. I was almost killed when I was pregnant with my son and I didn’t speak up. They unfortunately start to see numbers instead of people and patients so it’s up to you to remind them that you are both and they are there to service you not the other way around.
My baby started having seizures in postpartum suite and I kept telling the nurse that something isn’t right. Every nurse and doctor said my baby was just having reflux even after showing videos. I knew in my gut something wasn’t right and I demanded them take him to nicu rather than discharging us to go home. They completely denied it the whole 10 days in nicu. Sure enough we went home and he started having seizures again. Took him to another hospital and they saw exactly what I was seeing. I had to forgive the previous hospital. By the grace of God and His goodness my baby is getting taken care of. I thank Jesus what He did on the cross for my son to get his healing.
Scary isn't it, went through hell when one of my daughters got very ill and it took 6 months to finally find someone that could help her, my trust and respect for the medical system in this country will never be the same again.
My baby had projectile vomiting. Everyone just kept smirking at me and told me babies vomit. Women really aren't taken seriously. I was treated like an hysterical young mother, even though I was studying childcare.
@@rpdx3 it is most definitely God, not plural. No man can heal him, it was in his genetics. It came to a point where he was having multiple seizures a day and doctors were sending me in circles doing the same thing over again and again expecting different results and looking at him as just another customer. Prescribing medication on top of medication and using language as if this will be forever because his genetic results on an epilepsy panel came back as mutated genes. Well guess what? GOD performs miracles and he has been healed for 2 months now. Do not project your hopelessness and unbelief onto my son’s TESTIMONY and what JESUS can do by the power of the Holy Spirit. Do not force your beliefs onto me, I reject your words because it is absolutely a divine miracle performed by God. He gives us authority over demons and the Bible has testimony in all accounts of Jesus casting out epileptic demons, unclean spirits. I’m not saying this is everybody’s case, but healing by the hand of God is definitely our portion. God bless you, I hope you come to know Jesus for who He truly is!! Jesus is the full manifestation of God in flesh and He came off His throne in heaven to die for every sin we commit so we can come boldly into His holy presence!
This absolutely happened to me many years ago. I found myself in the room w/the anesthesiologist before the doc and nursing staff came in for surgery and my gut said, 'he's the most important person you need to share your immediate history with.' Despite all of that wonderful two miles of paperwork you fill out prior to surgery, humans are fallable. When I told him he looked at me w/disbelief and said, "you do?" He left the room a big hurry and returned with a completely different medication. He said to me, "thanks for telling me that because it wasn't in my notes and I had a completely different med for you and it could have gone bad."
Thank you for advocating for ourselves. This is my experience. If the doctors won’t listen, change doctors. You have to live with the outcome, not them!
Thank you for this message. They have recently discovered that I have a hiatal hernia at the site of a cyst that was removed from the top of my diaphragm less than a year ago. My first question after surgery was literally asking if the diaphragm was perforated in the process. Two rounds of thoracentesis post op pulled 1.5 liter of fluid from one lung even though the surgeon said I was fine and the symptoms would abate. During the first round at the very end I felt a jolt like my kidney was being vacuumed out. I nearly passed out. The pain took three weeks to resolve. I wrote emails and talked to the office multiple times: Just take the medicine and we will see you in three weeks. In retrospect, I am pretty sure the first thoracentesis aspirated mesentery through the diaphragm. The second thoracentesis was painless and only 350 ml. My repeated concern to the surgeon and his team is that fluid is moving between abdomen and pleural space. I have been referred to a general surgeon, but the whole process of repeatedly being told what I was feeling was not what was happening has left me disoriented and frustrated. Thanks for listening.
OMW! Been 4yrs & 2 surgeries and several doctors…..telling me I am fine; right up until last week I had enough of feeling like my heart was going to explode. Made an appointment with my cardiologist. He asked about the hiatal hernia that was seen in my scans 4yrs ago. My mouth hit the floor. My response was along the lines of “everyone has told me that it’s nothing to worry about…” • I’ve been barely able to eat, sleep, exercise, or function like I was prior to the 1st surgery before any of this happened. I have anxiety & panic attacks worse than ever. All over something that should have & could have been addressed 4yrs ago when it was 1st identified. • I’m sorry you have to experience this issue. Blessings to you & I hope you are able to get yours fixed soon.
I'm a stage 3 breast cancer patient. He is RIGHT ... if I would have been the "nice " patient I would be dead!!! Ihave "fired" numerous medical oncologists & a surgeon for being disrespectful, pushy & trying to play the power card with me. I now have integrative doctors who listen to my research, think outside the box dont try and force me into treatments I dont want -- and now I am on my way into remission! No thanks to any of my original doctors. Even had an anesthesiologist who prescribed me narcotics after surgery even tjough I very explicitly told them I did not want them & explained my pain control regimin prescribed by a cancer pain Dr. Such narcissistic assholes. Cedar Siani in LA.
@@Marie-ts8rpNot everyone does well with every drug- I do better with arthritis drugs that aren’t narcotics. I don’t the the post meant they were asking for lavender.
My mother had a doctor that kept overbooking his schedule. Every time she had to see him, she was forced to sit for HOURS in the waiting room because he was so behind. When she was finally seen, he would rush through her exam often without even making eye contact. One day, she had enough of it. My mother worked for the same hospital as her doctor. After keeping her waiting for hours again for the appointment, with her missing work while sitting there is his waiting room, she sent him an itemized bill for the she wasted sitting in his waiting room. A few weeks later, she received a check in the mail from his practice. I used to work in cardiac rehab as a physiologist. I always told my patients that they need to be their own advocate or have a loved one be their advocate. Big health care systems are always finding ways to cut costs and minimize staff and this leads to overworked and overbooked clinics. These patients need to assert themselves and stop seeing physicians as beyond reproach.
Wow. It's difficult to believe the practice actually sent your mother a check. Great strategy on her part. BTW: Very fortunately my husb & i are seeing a medical group that seems to be terrific about timing. Rarely have much of a wait. Except for one specialist who very kindly has staff keep us posted. And they ask if we'd prefer to reschedule.
@@eileenstasczak6606 Umm you mustn't have much experience in a modern healthcare system. At the time, she was in her 60s, today she is in her 70s. Patients in today's healthcare system do not get choices. The appointments themselves are often several weeks out from the time they are referred by their primary care physician. Example, my mother fractured her leg after being tripped by a dog. Her orthopedist wanted her to begin PT and to return in 8 weeks. 8 weeks had come and gone and she returned for the follow-up. PT still hadn't even made their initial intake evaluation. She is also a diabetic. Her endocrinologist books up months in advance and makes patients weight more than an hour past their allotted appointment. Modern healthcare systems are purchasing smaller hospitals, cutting services, referring patients to designated "main campuses" for imaging and testing, and overbooking doctors. Patients do not have a CHOICE.
I saw a doctor whose wait time was between 1-4 hours. If you left, you were taken off the list and wouldn't be seen. I finally asked why the wait time was so long. Turns out the Dr booked 4 patients for every 10-15 minute time slot. I never went back.
@@mccartney23fan I know for a fact that they do this to offset anytime they book Medicaid or Medicare patients. The fees associated with both programs are less than that of private pay or private medical insurance. They try to maximize that time slot by booking 3 or 4 patients at a time. Some doctors even have "medicare" or "medicaid" days where they dedicate one day a week to these patients and keep separate days for private pay patients. The medicare/medicaid patients get book 3-4 at each time slot, but on private pay days, they may only book 1 or 2 per slot and devote a little more time to each patient. I know this because while I was in school I worked part-time at a medical clinic.
As a Cardiologist...I tell my staff and patients, families to write a list of questions you have so when we talk or meet you can go over them its a stressful time so organize your time wisely .
Quite agree. I recently had emergency surgery (bowel resection for blocked bowel due to misdiagnosis, it was Crohns I had for 10 years not IBS) all the surgeons and anaetheologists were amazing, they happily sat and listened to and answered all my written questions and waited whilst I recorded the answer, they happily discussed things whilst a family member joined me and waited on one occasion whilst I rang same family member so they could listen to the consult too. I’m sad that people here have had such horrific experiences. I have to go back for stoma reversal surgery at some point and I feel so much better about that and knowing that I will have the same surgeon perform that as did the bowel resection, she saved my life. So please keep telling people to write their questions down and record the answers.
My cardiologist (marfan specialist) when I tell him certain things I'm experiencing or how some of the meds are and he always says "well that shouldn't be happening" like he'd know, I've been seeing him since I was 18, I'm 42 now. And I'm pretty sure Our Family has to be one of the worst affected with marfans, immediate Family as My Dad was adopted.
@dojocho1894 if only that was all that is needed to be be taken seriously and treated respectfully. It's not the patient's job to see that doctors are kept happy and satisfied. You are in the profession to provide patients with expert, competent and timely care in a compassionate manner. Do No Harm!
@@cindyj5522 Its not ALL that is needed... but it is a good start. And of course its not your job to keep the physician happy... but you have "x" amount of time with the physician. If you are disorganized and ramblling, you force us to go on a treasure hunt to pull the information we need from you. This wastes TIME. The cardiologists advice is sound. You can dislike it if you want, but go against his very reasonable advice and you will get care that is less than it could be. I tell my family and friends to KNOW WHY THEY ARE GOING TO THE DOCTOR. We call it the "Chief Complaint." Now... sometimes there are multiple complaints. But you would do well to prioritize them and practice stating them succinctly. Doing so helps us provide you with that "expert, competent and timely care" you mentioned.
I lost some of my hearing, enough to get a BAHA (Bone Anchored Hearing Aid). I was told I could have local or general anesthesia. I opted for general,I’m had done a lot of reading from people who had one or the other. I decided I didn’t want to hear the drill or feel the pressure of it. I had to have bloodwork done, and had to wait an extra week. The morning of the surgery the surgeon was making her rounds of the surgery patients. When she left me she said something about local anesthesia. I got one of the residents over and told her I or she needs to talk to the surgeon, I’m getting general, not local. She said, the doctor prefers using local, I firmly said but I don’t, and it’s my head. She went and talked to the doctor, a few minutes later came back over and told me they would be using general anesthesia. If I didn’t speak up, I would have been awake for the surgery! I’m glad I insisted on what I wanted.
If a doctor or any professional is rude, arrogant, not listening, won't allow being recorded, too busy typing instead of listening, confuse you with someone else, recites incorrect history/meds/info, are condescending esp if a female, doesn't believe you, etc., etc., get up and WALK OUT!! You must be proactive in your own care! And the looks of incredulity on their faces as you are leaving is hysterical!!
From 1992 or thereabouts, I started to develop vague pain and intermittent weakness in my hands. My speech also became intermittently slurred, and I would begin to stagger because I couldn't feel my feet. I went to my GP on numerous occasions, and each time, he fobbed me off, saying it was probably viral, muscle strain..etc. He also accused me of being a 'closet alcoholic and/or drug user'. Finally, he said I was probably a hypercondriac and sent me to a psychiatrist. This was in May of 2000. The psychiatrist listened, took voluminous notes, asked a ton of questions, and then sent me for an MRI. 4 days later, I had my diagnosis. It was MS (Multiple Sclerosis). It took 7 years of hell and being gaslit by GP before I got my diagnosis. I burst into tears, not because of the MS but because I could finally put a name to what was happening to me and I wasn't going crazy.
I think similar things like what happened to you happens to so many people. It’s so sad that your doctor ignored you and accused you of such terrible things. I’ve had several doctors ignore me when I told them my symptoms that were actually that of Lyme disease. I was accused of being a pain medicine seeker when I wasn’t asking for pain medicine. I was just trying to find a diagnosis for what I was going through.
I began advocating for my heath and my loved ones’ over 20 years ago when my mom was diagnosed with cancer and I saw the way she was treated by several medical professionals. Recently, many of my longtime doctors have started retiring and I’ve struggled finding the right ones for me. Very recently, I began treatment under a doctor who often interrupted me, didn’t seem to take me seriously, and did many of the things that you mentioned in your video. Although it’s cumbersome finding a new doc, I decided to move on and won’t settle until I find the right one.
I'm nearly 86 and feel the same way. I simply do not trust doctors or hospitals. Their answer whenever I bring up something concerning my health is that it is my age and I just have to live with it. I just stopped going to the primary care doctor regularly because going is a big waste of my time and effort. I like my cardiologist a lot, but that primary care doctor does not seem to care about me at all, very cold and impersonal. I go in for lab work and keep taking my medication, another source of worry of what prolonged use of these drugs might be doing to my body and well-being. Have been told I need to keep taking them the rest of my life. It is a worry.
@@loisaustin6200 You Should " T-r-y " a FUNCTIONAL MEDICINE PHYSICIAN. They Do Get to the ROOT of a Problem and Don't Cover-Up Problem's with Med's. Not Covered by an Insurance Company. Can't Put a Price ($) on Your Health. Good ☘️ Luck.
@@Athena752-r6h They treat us like they think we're ridiculous old fools who don't know our own bodies at all. After four doctors and a time span of about 14 years none of them have been able to get my dosage of Levothyroxine right for my Hashimoto's thyroid disease to get my levels where they should be. So tiring.
Never stay alone in a hospital. Always have someone present who can oversee anything going into IV’s, or meds by mouth. Question everything, it may safe your life.
Thank you for being kind, honest and wise. I am a TBI survivor with some lasting effects so I am never ever taken seriously. Pain is invisible but usually not normal. Speak up! Medical PTSD and medical arrogance and lack of empathy/concern are VERY real.
I worked ICU for many years and had a lovely senior citizen as a pt and she had several tests that the MD reviewed with her while I was not in the room so I could not address her questions. I got her paper and we wrote down her questions for the MD. He came in the next day at change of shift. I was outside her room getting report when he walked in to see her. Next words she said after good morning to him, this lovely, woman told him to "park it buddy need we need to chat". He laughed looked at me and said" Ellen was your nurse yesterday wasn't she" pulled up a chair and spent 10 minutes answering her questions.
When you're afraid - in general - to stand up for yourself and you finally find the courage to stand up for yourself and the doctor is so upset their face turns beat red - it's hard to do it again. Much less again and again.
And it's hard to do it when you're tired and stressed and scared and just want to be able to put yourself in competent hands rather than be on the alert all the time for potential errors.
This video is so helpful. I'm looking after my 87-year-old mother. A retired doctor herself who has early-onset dementia. Her memory is poor, and she's in hospital with limited mobility. She is barely able to stand. We are British, and she wants me to be ultra polite to all the doctors, nurses and carers. I am kind and tactful, but her care is poor, and I have needed to push for more pain relief, extra physio, time with Rheumatology, and even the simplest of things - to have her own TV so that she has some mental stimulation. This is so difficult for me, to trust my gut instinct and speak out. Please consider a similar video on how family should deal with medical staff when their loved one is unable to advocate for themselves and deal with concerns about potentially angering the medical team and possible repercussions. Unfortunately, I'm on the point of making a formal complaint. Any thoughts?
Learning to advocate for myself has been a huge benefit. It's tough to find a balance because no matter how polite you are, being persistent can make some doctors think you're anxious and a hypochondriac. I love the way you describe the "nod and smile" because that's definitely been me in the past.
I have had severe medical trauma, from waking up during a surgery and the Dr. Yelling at the anesthesiologist that I was waking up, but he started rubbing my arm and saying he's right there and in recovery the anesthesiologist came in and blamed ME for choosing the wrong anesthesia. I told her I wanted to be knocked out cold and not remember anything so general anesthesia, I also woke from a surgery with my shoulder rotator cuff, tendons and muscles completely severed. I had told them that I had had shoulder surgery 7 months before that surgery and to make sure to please take extra care and keep it secured and be gentle. It was a nightmare.
I’ve woke up twice. They accused me of being a drug addict. I am a registered nurse and definitely not a drug addict. I have fired my last two PCP’s on the first visit. I’m paying for a service and I’m the CEO of my health. Trust me, healthcare in America is third world.
For legal reasons all doctor appointments should be recorded and kept on the cloud. All of a sudden they would start to respect their patients a bit more.
I agree with u I've had lot of telephone calls with my dr he has lied even told other services not to help me but denies this trouble is I'm in uk under nhs
Leave a terrible review for him on google reviews. I am also in the UK and the first thing they will claim is you are mentally ill. Report him to the GMC.
I reported a consultant to the GMC they investigate their selves.. So no point they all cover each others backs in the NHS. I was left disabled after a hysterectomy - herniated discs left foot drop and also need to have a colostomy because my bowels stopped functioning after surgery. I was told things would get better and I would recover but it never happened. Time passed after having scans - mri's , colonoscopy I was unable to sue them due to statue of limitations! NHS is corrupt to the core !!!
My late-husband was my best advocate. Sent home from ER told I had an acid reflux, back in ER next day with bowel obstruction. Another time went to ER diagnosed with a panic attack, as we were being discharged after I was given medication, husband refused to sign wanted to know all test results before leaving, I had a raging urinary tract infection. I have doctor's now who listen, then give me valuable information I need.
My husband is my official medical advocate. The fact that he is in the appt. And silently backing up everything I say or reiterating it as my advocate. This makes a huge difference. I’m braver and more assertive and drs listen if a man speaks up for a woman quite a bit more in my experience. I’ve serious conditions so I’m going to do what works. Medical training is something only high stamina people can make it through. Most (not all - I know very empathetic docs too!) lack the ability to imagine what it’s like to deal with illness because they have systems that can be pushed on harder than the avg bear or they would not have made it through. I make notes to take in with me. It helps.
Thank you for this. I’ve had major surgery twice. I ignored my symptoms initially, because I was afraid nobody would take me seriously. I was afraid I would waste the dr’s time and they would scold me. This fear is from my own personal past trauma (not medical trauma). Because I waited, it was much worse. I’m glad I eventually did trust my instincts to go to the ER, because it turns out I was bleeding in my brain from a rare condition I didn’t know I had. It’s a miracle I’m alive.
At this stage, I would like a person on my side to stand in at a surgery and keep an eye on what's happening, with a video. Maybe if we had a set up like this, the bad eggs would soon be weeded out.
I am looking at knee replacement in the future, and my husband is my advocate. If he can't be there with me to observe the surgical team's actions, it's not happening. I absolutely get your point here.
Thank you so much for this video! It’s really encouraging and even therapeutic. I have plenty of trauma, unfortunately. I am probably gaslit, too. A doctor made a mistake on my ventilator settings, then blamed it on the on-call doctor. He even ‘apologized,’ in his own words “It isn’t my mistake, but I’m sorry I didn’t catch this on-call doctor’s mistake.” I have had a nurse push my central line catheter back into the vein. The IV cover came off and the site got contaminated, when using a bedpan. When speaking up about the bandage coming off, the contamination, and the catheter moving a little, the nurse literally pushed the catheter into the vein. Then, she told me it’s nothing. I later developed sepsis and DIC. This is a serious incident, but since then, I’ve had medical staff touch the opening of my central line with their bare hands, have them hold the cap to cover it in their bare hands, pointed it out, got scolded for being paranoid, then developed sepsis. In a similar manner, I have noticed and pointed out such non-aseptic actions, gotten ignored or scolded and developed sepsis 4 or 5 times. I now learned the very early signs of sepsis, I strongly demand and don’t back down when I need a blood culture. I suppose I should see a psychologist and psychiatrist, but if being alert and distrustful, being mindful and careful about how my IV is treated saves me from a 5th or 6th sepsis due to non-aseptic procedures I can easily spot, I think twice about fixing my iatrogenic psych-issue. This is only the tip of the iceberg……. I’ve had implanted medical devices break, then have the symptoms blamed on something else. I got lucky, as I moved, got an entirely different team, got operated, to remove the broken device. I’ve had surgical errors like the surgeon forgetting to clamp off an intrathecal catheter. I ended up having 4L of CSF in my abdominal wall (as it wasn’t a shunt, but a catheter for an intrathecal pump (the broken pump which was removed.) I was convinced the headaches, nausea and vomiting were due to a CSF leak. But I just kept drinking a ton of water every day. Only after the abdominal protrusion was clearly pathological and not just serous fluid, I asked for an ultrasound. I spoke to the pathologist who did the ultrasound, who trusted my word and the ultrasound that the fluid wasn’t serous and could be CSF. I was re-operated, in which the catheter was repeatedly clamped close. I’ve been told I’m not supposed to feel dyspnoea, when my O2 SAT fluctuated between 99 and 83, because it wasn’t continuously low. Now, I can tell the medical staff a diagnosis and the treatment course. But I can no longer express my symptoms and believe that the staff will take my word that I have that symptom, unless I can back it up with hard numerical evidence. Despite having been on the receiving end of potentially life threatening errors more than a couple of times, I am okay with errors. We are all human, thus aren’t perfect. The damage isn’t irreversible, as long as they are acknowledged and corrected. However, when I am mistreated and end up in a life threatening situation because somethings I point out are ignored, then I am very disappointed. I’ve since trusted doctors, but often times ended up in a pretty challenging situation. I’ve been very clearly told to go die elsewhere by my treating physician. I no longer trust a doctor to be on my side or care for patient wellbeing, unfortunately. I do know there are good doctors in the world. I’ve learned from great physicians as a student or early training physician myself. I am sure I have good doctors on my team, too. Still, there’s always that part of me warranting caution. Every time I start to trust a medical staff, I try to tell myself that they aren’t actually compassionate or understand my case. I believe I’m always lucky to learn from the best, but feel that such great doctors won’t be on my treating team. I also realize this thought pattern is pathological. Still, I do have a part of me that also believes that some literally lack knowledge, ethics, passion and time. I don’t think I will ever blindly trust a medical professional in my life. I know everyone is human. I know I am. I am not perfect, nor do I know everything. I use this as a reason not to trust people, because “no one is perfect and never can be.” Having written this, I can probably try to focus on accepting professional recommendations from my treating physician, because although they may not know everything, they might have experience and knowledge in their specialization. I’m not sure why I spilled out my soul on TH-cam. I appreciate your welcoming and positive vibe. It’s therapeutic in itself. I imagine you must be a wonderful doctor in practice, too. Your video reminded me to focus on the bright side. Thank you so much for this video!
Love your channel and have learned a lot thanks to you. I have a lot of serious medical stuff going on but find I get ignored because of my age, I'm 75. While I won't go into everything I will hit the highlights of my gripe. Recently I started having blackouts and seizures and TIAs, After a series of falls and a spectacular face plant on a concrete floor I went to the hospital this turned out to be a traumatic subarachnoid hemorrage with seizure.After release I had instructions to give my Primary for on going care which she didn't even read, said not to worry about it as the bleed would heal itself and she didn't need to see me for 6 months. I fired her on the spot. This has produced an attitude in me where I now think of medical providers as the pool boy, if your pool isn't clean fire them and get someone else. I'm tired of hearing that i'm old so go home and live with it or just die and get it over with which is pretty much what is being said just in nicer words. MY INSURANCE IS FABULOUS AND INSTANTLY PROVIDED FULL IN HOME MEDICAL CARE for which I am grateful. Don't be afraid to bail out of a bad situation.
Perhaps it’s because I’m over 60 that I think 75 is young, but it is young and you’re a viable human being deserving of the best care you can get! I like your advice “Don’t be afraid to bail out of a bad situation.“ I’ve been doing that in the last year and it gets easier to do without guilt. Now I’ve recently added in a Naturopathic group and hope I have better treatment.
@@whitequeen96 United Health Care Dual Complete. They have various plans to fit just about any situation. Don't know what your needs are but I would give them a call.
My Oncologist tried to get me to take this new bone medicine last year because i have cancer mets in the right hip. The side effects are jaw fracture and hip fracture. You have to get permission from a Dentist to even take it. I pretty much told him i didn't think it made sense to take it to strengthen my hip when hip fracture is one of the side effects.
i just dropped in and - what a treasure I found - it was the key word self-gaslighting - one word to open the door to a huge "living"room were i had no access - now i can understand this fog around me. I know (meanwhile) that i had serveral trauma, but this keyword lightens up a real darkroom. ❣🧡💙THANK YOU SO MUCH DR. Anthony Kaveh!! GREETINGS FROM GERMANY 🖤♥💛
As someone who has had a lot of bad experiences with doctors, I must say you have many good points! Not all doctors will listen if you have a concern though, even if you tell them yours gut instinct, they will still go ahead with the thing and say it's ok when it's clearly not ok.
I subbed just because I respect what you're doing here so much. I usually come to TH-cam for entertainment but I am really glad to see a physician, a specialist take his time out to share important messages with the public. Thank you Dr.Kaveh
My brother had hip surgery. The nurse came in to give him meds and happened to mention she was giving him insulin. She assumed he was a diabetic as he was on dialysis. I told her that she was not giving him insulin and we argued for several minutes. I just flatly refused to allow it and sent her to the doctor to verify. Later, I saw her in the hall and she didn’t mention insulin so I asked her and she did say that it had been an error. I wonder what would’ve happened if I hadn’t been there with him.
I met a surgeon for the first time and he was professional. Not there to be your friend but to tell you like it is and why. My gut instinct told me I could trust him with my life.
I could write a book about my disturbing experiences with the medical profession. That is not to say I didn't have some positive experiences that I will always be greatful for. One thing I certainly have noticed, every physician has their own personality, and what might work with one, doesn't mean it will work with the other. Being female and having multi system complaints is a fkng nightmare, makes you question yourself at times. Thank you for talking about this challenging matter, I have ptsd because it's so hard to navigate, I just don't want to see anyone.
MR-pr8tp So sorry you are at that point, but I can assure you - you are sadly far from alone. Please consider getting a therapist, this kills two birds with one stone (at least,lol). A good therapist will help you navigate those personal fears, and help you navigate the system to some degree. I did for the first 13 years of my nightmare, and it really helped keep me from going on tilt. I'm not sure why you are scared, i.e. Because you are afraid of what the diagnosis is, or being heard, or... Many of us have had to navigate this broken system that isn't getting any better, so if you have questions, please feel free to ask. Wish you the best, my thoughts are with you.❤️👍
LimitlessThinker It's challenging that's for sure and the farther down your insurance goes, so does the support from the medical profession. Since I'm unaware of your health condition, what's been said or not said, I sincerely hope you don't give up, and I also hope you are integrating some holistic practices like meditation (makes a huge difference), yoga, amazing thing about it, doesn't matter how little you can do of the postures, you will still receive benefits, Therapy, a good therapist can really help you navigate your fears, while supporting your next moves. It can be a lonely place when you are traveling down this road, it's vital that you are kind to yourself. 👍🕊
This was at a teaching hospital in Detroit (Harper Hutzel). Went in for a hysterectomy for cancer a few weeks ago. Even tho I was calm and non-combative.. I was given Versed (relaxant, causes amnesia) in the pre-op room before I'd even signed my consent forms. I don't really remember signing them. This is unlike me.. I read everything. I was so focused on the IV in the back of my hand and how much it hurt and being afraid to pop the vein that it never occurred to me that I was signing consent forms. I don't remember the trip to the OR. I vaguely remember switching to the OR bed because they wouldn't let me stand.. I had to slide over and my gown, blanket and IV's (one in each hand) got tangled. Then the nurse that dosed me in pre-op dosed me again and that's where my memories end until PACU. Even tho I had brought this up to the surgeon at a previous appt.. That I did Not want this to happen to me.. and he'd replied with a smile that they would need consent for that.. The surgeon took this opportunity to obtain verbal consent to let a line of students do pelvic/rectal exams on me while under anesthesia for teaching purposes. tho I'm not sure I was under anesthesia when it happened.. I got to the OR at 8am.. I wasn't put under anesthesia until 9:24am. In my records it says I went from pre-op to OR and then was put under.. no where does it account for the 90 minutes I was amnesic. I have no idea what they did to my body in that time. The nightmares are severe. I sleep at most 2 hours a night. I cry all the time. I have to have Brachytherapy (radiation) treatment for the cancer and when I went on TH-cam to learn what all the treatment entails, every time I saw a male Dr doing the procedure I would start shaking and crying. I don't know why. All I can think is that even tho my mind was unable to make memories in that 90 minutes.. there is a fear response that our bodies do remember. Because that's what it is.. its fear I'm feeling. I had to go to pre-op yesterday with my mother so they could install a chemo port.. she has cancer too. The whole time I was in there I was chewing on the inside of my lower lip to keep from breaking down to the point her Dr, when he came to meet with us, asked why I had blood on my teeth.. I said I bit my tongue. This person that I've become is not who I've always been. I have been a caregiver for my mother for 15 years. She has been thru a lot.. several cancers, a liver transplant. broken hip, broken shoulder ect.. I am a calm and fairly stoic person.. I know how to compartmentalize and deal with trauma at a later time when a life isn't hanging in the balance. and I do deal with it. the person I am now shakes when a Dr walks by.. even the ones I know. I get blindsided by snips of memories from the pre-op and even the most innocuous memories set me off. I rage inside my head.. why didn't I do this differently.. why did I Let them do this. I hate myself. I hate them. If my mother hadn't threatened to not go thru with chemo.. I seriously doubt I could bring myself to do my own cancer treatment and the many pelvic exams that follow. Mentally, I don't remember what they did to me.. but physically... some part of me must remember to keep bringing on such strong fight or flight reactions 3 weeks later. I feel so different.
So true that PATIENTS must trust their guts and self advocate in Hospitals and in surgery. I had to SELF ADVOCATE for 3 was in hospital when everyone told me different stories about what was WRONG with me and why.!! It was exhausting and I felt like I was on a Rollercoaster. I told them to start I had been diagnosed with Hydrocephalus and needed new MRI. Too many cooks!!! That was what it Was!!
i have learned that msot all drs have ZERO clue what they are doing anymore. They are not being taught to fix/cure. they are taught to only guess at a treatment.
I went in for a hemorrhoidectomy. I had discussed with my doctor that I would have a local. The morning of the surgery a different doctor came in with residents, she was explaining what she would be doing. She said that they would be using general anesthesia and I stopped her. I explained that I do not handle general anesthesia and have ended up in ICU in the past after having to be revived 3 times. She told me that she is the doctor and will decide how things are done. I said no she was not going to be operating on me. My mother was shocked. You don’t tell a doctor no. I got up, got dressed and left the hospital. I refused to be operated on by an arrogant doctor thinking she controlled my choices. I have never regretted it and I trust my instinct. Side note - I worked in the medical field long enough to know better. She should have known better as well. I hope the residents learned something that day. You have to be your own advocate.
You are right about them.
I stopped listening to them during covid. The system shut down fully qualified doctors and scientists - anybody with a different narrative. I was on 8 different medications which apparently I had to keep taking or I would die. About 4 years ago now, I stopped taking the pills after the covid debacle and I cannot believe how much better I feel. I don't trust their instincts at all. I will take my chances.
Amen sister!
WHAT??😂😂😂 Imagine a doctor, or ANYONE, deciding your medical care. Fired on the spot.
But it is very hard to be your own advocate when you are seriously ill or in terrible pain.
@@susanmclane7781 True! My mother was rushed to the ER (lives alone) for sciatic pain. She was screaming in pain. They asked her if she had the "safe and effective treatment". She said no. They asked why. She said she didn't wanna be a guinea pig. Immediately the nurses were so rude to her. My mom is a strong woman with a high threshold for pain. She was in the bed crying her eyes out in the fetal position, she told me. They treated her like a crack head fishing for pain meds and then grilled her about getting the shot. I so wish I was there.
my greatest fear is incompetent doctors with huge egos.
and there are many of those. Unfortunately. They don`t even hear you out.
And dei= didn’t earn it
Horrible. When Dad had his first heart attack, I lived out of town and called the cardiologist with a list of questions. He interrupted me and said "what do you do for a living"? I said I'm a musician. He said "I won't tell you about music, and you don't tell me about medicine". Wow.
@@jlanderson21257 so typical........I totally believe you
@@jlanderson21257 If this happens, you say, "You don't need to live with the consequences of your mistakes."
I worked in a large facility as an Surgical RN for a number of years. I will ALWAYS remember this one surgeon I loved working for. And the one thing he did religiously was to identify the Surgical site and what type of surgery he was doing to everyone in the surgical suite. He was very clear and concise with what he needed and usually asked for something two or three steps ahead before he actually needed it. He never yelled or pitched a fit during surgery and always said please and thank you. More surgeons should be like he was.
Wow, those kind of doctors are rare for sure nowadays!! Sounds like he was TRULY a professional, not only to his patients, but to all who worked for him and around him!! We definitely need more Surgeons like this and it sounds like you are right along with him! And thank you too and may God Bless you and this doctor and keep y’all safe. 🙏🏻♥️ I would absolutely LOVE to have a doctor and nurse like you both!! 🙏🏻♥️🙏🏻♥️
It’s a solid task oriented foreman like demeanor. Lots of older surgeons came up in life actually doing work. Whether it was farming, construction or whatever. Now too many professionals never had an actual job before college.
I had plastic surgery after skin cancer on my face. Fotunately, I opted for local anesthesia. My surgeon was off in a corner of the OR, gabbing on his cell phone as residents were performing my surgery. As they were about to finish and sew me up, I asked if they'd removed a small bubble in my facial skin situated alongside the previous surgery scar. I had discussed this issue with the surgeon during our pre-surgery conference. The surgery residents reacted to my question as if I'd been speaking in a foreign language. So I told them to get the surgeon off his cell phone and over here. When I asked him about getting that skin bubble removed, he went "oh shit," stepped in and did the excision of the skin bubble himself. I told the anesthesioligist, "now do you see why I wanted a local, not a general? I stay awake for all my haircuts and i'm damn well staying awake if my face is getting cut on."
That totally sucks, I nearly lost a finger to an ER Drs incompetence.
Dayum!! That’s crazy!
You were wise! I've seen and even had some amazing screw ups before, often from inattention by those who were supposed to be in charge...it's gotten worse now as opposed to say 20 years ago, IMHO
@@kennethflores-hv7uf Inexcusable!
Ive also had surgery to repair nose after skin ca. Amazing the difference in docs. One was fired by me and #2 stepped in. Dept head at ivy league med school. Have had one major flap surgery and 6 revisions the majors (4) going 90 mins or longer with gen anesthesia the minors were with local. Local anes. Surgeries were accompanied by a virtual history lesson on advancements in plastic surg since world war one. Also he would always ask about our family, knew my hobbies and our travel habits. Amazing difference
I am shadowing a doctor. When she is reading the notes of why the patient is coming in, she is already saying “I don’t believe her or why do they come here for this.” It breaks my heart to see such lack of empathy.
@@lovejoy71422 I wish I could do that. I’m not shadowing the doctor. I’m not allow to stay with the patients. I follow the doctor everywhere.
Imagine you’re done with doctor appointment and the student tells you something negative about the doctor? Who will you believe, would that cause more damage to the patient?
and what do you do or say? Break the cycle.
Definitely do the opposite of her! What a terrible doctor!!
I don’t list the complaint when I schedule because I know doctors do this. I figured I would make them come up with their gaslighting argument on the fly. I am not going to give them time to prepare to gaslight me.
That is really stupidity though. All you need to do is some research into how many times people have to see a Dr before they are diagnosed. Think it’s around 3 years for my condition and then you are dead. I’m surprised when some are diagnosed first time. And it’s not even by a specialist. Functional or Naturopath. You would think you would need to keep the passion alive when being a Dr since so much of your live is taken. Those others need to find a different profession or situation.
I had a doctor tell me this about my daughter, turned out she has migraines, and her symptoms and not the usual auras most people get, 3 peds later finally got someone that would list, please don't be like the dr you are shadowing. I hope you are an amazing doctor. All the best to you.
10 years ago I had to have emergency surgery for a perforated ulcer. It required the dressing to be changed daily. I couldn’t do it myself and had no family members close by who could do it either. My insurance at the time would only pay for three days of home health. As the team was preparing me for discharge, the case worker informed him of this. He walked out of the room and returned about 15 minutes later and stated “you’re covered 100% for home health until I release you”. He had called the insurance company himself. I don’t know what he said, but it worked. I’m very grateful.
Who is “him” in this instance?
@ My surgeon.
Wonderful! Hope you’re all well now!
But not every doctor is as nice, understanding and helpful as you...
Amen 🙌. I pissed off all my doctors with their stupid arse algorithms!
German Hospital: Be nice, but be extremly honest as a foreigner, because they will you ask 1 time and think you was honestly af.
not all doctors are competent but also not all patients are right as they think they are
Or sexy 😂
@@Skatejock21You're right, but patients should still be listened to and taken seriously. If a patient has a misconception, or worse, a past trauma that causes them to think or behave a certain way, a good doctor will usually be able to talk it out with them instead of dismissing or ignoring the patient.
My husband thought I was being too aggressive when he was admitted. I asked questions, wrote down names, documented medications and tests. I wanted answers and consistently followed up. I acknowledged what was done well and educated myself. Sometimes you only get one chance to get things right.
Your husband is most fortunate to have you.
@@NeilReed-ru7xd Thanks, although we’ve been married for over 30 years, he was surprised how much I spoke up . At the time, he didn’t realize the seriousness of his illness. After he was released, he was happy that I spoke up.
@@GMAMEC Your husband is lucky to have you. You have to keep on top of everything every step of the way sadly. My Dad has Parkinson's and doesn't have the mental capacity to speak up for himself anymore. My Mom documents and double checks EVERYTHING. The number of times they've tried to give him medications he can't have, skipped critical tests or medications, and failed to follow up on important issues is astounding. This is not limited to a single hospital/health group either, it's been every one that has treated him.
You were absolutely 💯 right. I always question everything- you have to be on the ball 🥺
You're awesome
WHY CANT MORE DRS BE *HUMBLE* LIKE THIS GUY??
And handsome :)
This one is very intelligent!
It is called Emotional Intelligence.
I agree
He is full of himself. Typical jew
I "spoke up" about a very relevant pre-existing condition and the surgeon treated me like a hypochondriac. I showed her! I nearly died post surgery from complications from the pre-existing condition. So don't blame the patient for "not speaking up." Just bc we speak up doesn't mean they will listen.
I can relate. What happened to me wasn’t nearly as extreme at what happened to you. I went into the hospital for a arthrogram on the joints in my jaw. I had major facial surgery about 5 years prior to that and the anesthesiologist told me to tell other anesthesiologists in the future not to put me to sleep to put the tube in my throat (or however the anesthesiologist said it). I told the anesthesiologist this prior to my arthrogram and he didn’t listen. My husband told me in recovery the doctor came out while I was in the operating room and told him they may not be able to do the procedure because they couldn’t get the tube in to sedate me. Eventually they got the tube in my throat but when I woke up I could barely swallow because I was in so much pain. I made it clear to the anesthesiologist 3 days before the procedure and he ignored me.
They always put the blame on the patient.
If you speak up you are a hypochondrian.
If you didn't you didn't care about your own health.
You are exactly right.
If they don't listen, you are obligated to fire them.
It’s unfortunate that you didn’t or couldn’t leave before the procedure.
It’s so sad that not all doctors think like Dr. Kaveh.
Not all doctors even care.
Some care in their own, perhaps unrelatable way.
Surgeons used to be like Mechanics, but they got better.
So true. 😢😢
They care about the check in the mail.
@@unbreakable7633 what I detest with all my heart is that they think (not all as we know but "some") that they can be deceitful cover up the truth well how sadly wrong are they as all know the truth comes out in the end. I say God help them or anyone who does wrong in area of life but especially when someone's precious life is concerned. Mistakes do happen "sorry" huge goes a long way but not F/F records to protect selves each other & Industry work in.
@@freemanz4051 when did they get better? I'm Gen X and it's worse than ever. Insurance companies make everyone's lives harder.
I went to three cagiologists at one of the top clinics/hospitals in the United States for an undiagnosed breathing/heart problem. None of them would take me seriously even though I knew something was wrong. Finally I went to a fourth cardiologist who was the head of the cardiology department and in charge of the intensive care unit. He listened. He not only saved me from a heart/lung transplant, but he saved my life. I was a young female, 37 years old. I will turn 72 in September.
@@theskyisfallingtom This happens so systematically, I can only believe that the system itself is to blame. Doctors are trained to efficiently misuse probability and statistics, at the peril of the commonly improbable. There are *billions* of people in the world. Even if a tiny 1% are misdiagnosed, that's dozens of millions of people. But it's not 1%. The majority of patients that enter a hospital are repeatedly misdiagnosed before the doctor finally arrives at a correct diagnosis, the patient gives up, or the patient dies... All in a day's work, licensed and sanctioned by the state.
Wao. God is good. This is what I call celebration of life. 72 is very far from 37, you've got reasons to thank God.
I've worked with doctors for over 20 years. Often, patients who speak up get mistreated. I spoke up about my anesthesia sensitivity and fully explained the issue. Didn't stop them from overdosing me. I have little respect for most doctors. I'm glad there are a few like you. YOU need to stand up to your colleagues and remind them that they are here to take care of patients.
Yes doctors do not like it when you are not a obidient slave... For 3 years now they have refused me treatment I need because I do not want to take the experimental unapproved harmful coward19 quacksine...
my dad (before he was murdered by malpractice of many different doctors at mercy hospital in missouri) was on a list for the dangers he presented to their little cameras they stuck down peoples throats. apparently if my dad was in what they called twilight he was considered a biter. the notes in large bold letters said "ensure full knock out, do not keep in twilight" or something to that extent. they had to put steel blocks between his upper and lower jaw jsut to ensure he didnt bite the camera into two pieces again.
granted my dad is also a case study in the U.S for doctors learning about the rare case of people having extra valves in their hearts. he was the first person i believe in the U.S to be seen with it and the 4th in the world. some doctors that worked with my dad would sometimes reference him being a case study which always made him light up and feeling special. they suspect it may be hereditary but i havent had my heart checked. as far as i know my heart is fine and i dont trust doctors enough to be willing to let them check it anyways.
This guys acting and is often wrong, listen but dont believe.
Doctors don’t hold each other accountable.
This 100% is what I get 99.9% of the time. I DO speak up and get treated like garbage.
People need to speak up and not be afraid to fire an incompetent doctor.
Unless you have a background in healthcare, it’s often impossible to figure out if your doctor is incompetent!
It helps if you live in an area where you have more choice, and if you have good insurance. Where I live, and if you have Medicare or Medicaid, your choices are severely limited.
Insurance doesn't make that a friendly experience. I did that once, and the replacement doctor had me going back to the original. I complained about my doctor only giving me more pills, and no real solutions. I got punished for pointing out the obvious. My doctor had me on deadly combinations and insurance did not care about that. They won't let you talk to them, either.
@edie4321 I've learned the pharmacist is much better with medications. Forget the doc, start asking the pharmacist some questions. Mine even helped me figure out a better medication for something. I went to the doc, got the medication, changed my life!
When your choices are an incompetent doctor or no doctor at all you do what you need to do in order to get even bad care. The problem with our current healthcare system is that in many areas there are only a limited number of specialists within an easy to travel distance and you might be limited to just one based on insurance. For example if there's only one endocrinologist in the area that takes your insurance and you have diabetes if you want your insulin you'll have to take who you can get. I have to travel an hour and a half to see one of my specialists and there is literally only one in the practice who can see me. They're the closest specialist of their kind and the only one that takes my insurance in the area.
The trouble is (and I've worked with doctors) many - too many - do have BIG egos. VERY big egos. It's so great when you get one who is more considered and thoughtful in their interactions with patients - and staff.
Ive been gaslit by surgeons. Ive been verbally abused by surgeons. Ive been humiliated by surgeons. Ive been patronised by surgeons, and held to surgical ransom by surgeons, all out of a simple need for control (yet I have been compliant with EVERY ask they placed on me). But Ive always been treated with kindness and compassion by anesthesiologist - and Ive loved every consult, and been cared for deeply by them even after the procedures. One stuck up for me after a C-section that sadly happened because of a traumatic motor vehicle accident, (I was 8 months pregnant and the impact of the steering wheel ruptured my abdominal wall) but because I "had a baby" - I was put on the post natal ward. I was given EVERY pain med possible, IV and suppositories, as i required a lot of internal injury repair and the C-section incision was from hip to hip. But after 12 hours, on the post natal ward (because remember - I had "only" had a baby), the nurse came in and announced "I think i will just give you a digesic - gee that anesthesiologist prescribed you some very dangerous medicatioons - theyre horrible drugs - we dont want you to get addicted now do we?". I gritted my teeth and just uttered "get that anesthesiologist up here NOW. Go call him NOW.". Feeling smug, she did, and he was there in minutes, and stood at my single but public system door and said clearly "Roxann can have 2 end one, every 4 hours, around the clock if she wants it. Ive prescribed domperidone and senna as well to prevent side effects, but she can have as much as she wants - I am NOT going to have my patients develop a pain trauma induced syndrome because of inadequate post surgical pain treatment". I also heard the psych registrar also paid a visit to the nurses station too. Thankyou for your kind videos. Im a big fan.
Nurse are butt heads difficult to work with not only do some of them make a patients life more difficult but staff as well especially in labor & delivery but OR nurses are kinder to patients than those in labor and delivery I never understood why could not figure out why they were so evil. They all want revenge. Iam glad you received good care as patient care is most important to me except last 10 years health care has gone woke & dei through gov agendas.
I've never heard of this term "pain trauma induced syndrome" do you know what he meant? My surgeon stuffed up and I woke up half way through and I was in agony, that was almost 7 years ago and I'm still suffering.
@@vickifreeman02 uncontrolled or unmanaged pain, esp that which is assoc with a trauma of some kind - whether it is physical or emotional, is known to trigger pain syndromes, where the central nervous system over reacts to pain, or is hypersensitive to pain stimulus. This is called hyperalgesia. So - its not that you are not in pain, the trauma of the unmanaged pain, supersentisies the pain receptors and pain syndromes can set in, and causes pain signals to amplify and or the immune system not switch of the inflammatory response (which also triggers pain receptors). Recently, because of opiatephobia, most searches wont say that unmanaged pain can cause hyperalgesia - they blame the medication, and if you G it - you just get explanations of opiate induced hyperalgesia. But 30 years ago, it was well understood that unmanaged pain can cause lingering sensivity pain problems - worse than is necessary. By the way I do have a degree in pathology and pharmacology. Im a pain patient and educated. Not that it changes the way Im treated by some practitioners - but still. SOme are great, some are less great. Thats all i can say.... Hope that helps
@@vickifreeman02 i replied.. and explained. twas re moved. i wd lurve to no why.!
I had a very bad experience with an anesthesiologist. She asked me the normal questions about my surgery history and right in the middle of my answer she turned and walked out the door. A few months after the surgery I found out I have a partially collapsed lung due to her incompetence (or maybe deliberate injury) she inflicted on me.
When I had my first baby I “knew” there was something medically wrong with her but didn’t know what. Fortunately, I had a family doctor who understood about mothers instinct. (I had a previous 12 years experience taking care of babies and young children) She had a UTI and he sent her for an ultrasound. At 5 months, we were referred to a children’s hospital and at 14 months, she had a kidney surgery.
I’m so blessed that I had such a caring and non-dismissive doctor
wow, great experience! Very rare unfortunately.... :(
Good to hear. 😅
Children especially a baby getting a uti is not common… i suspect your baby was possibly sexually abused. I’ve read about this being a possible red flag. Was she a bed wetter also later? If not, I’m happy for the two of you that that is not the case.
@@imaamericangirl1406 you are gross to make such horrendous assumption. There are other ways to get infected that don't involve what you immediately thought about.
@@imaamericangirl1406and not everything is SA...
The most powerful and most truthful advice I've ever heard is "No one will care about you as much or take as well of care of you as YOU".
Yes 100%
OMG...My mother gave me this piece of advice and I literally told my daughter the exact same thing today...so true!
Unless it's your mother
This is similar to, “Nobody know how to care for your azz like you do, not even your mother”.
Indeed
I’ve fired two doctors for not listening to me. The look on their faces was priceless.
Likewise. Doctors will hurt you and not care if you let them.
If a doctor discounts what I say, interrupts me while I'm speaking, or argues with me... I'm outa there!
@@lv2tango2 Well done!
Me, too.
Thank you for your replies. I really REALLY need to fire my current doctor. I keep putting it off because, frankly, I am kind of afraid of her. Sad, huh?
I had a doctor at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN tell me that whatever it was that was wrong with me, it was all in my head, after 10 days of tests, and procedures and exams! 3 months later I was diagnosed with Epstein-Barr Virus, and my titer count was off the charts! I was definitely gaslit by that doctor. It was that experience, in 2000, that made me become the strongest advocate for myself I could be! And yes, I trust my gut instincts a lot!
I hope you wrote a letter to the doctor informing him of your diagnosis so he doesn’t continue to gaslight patients.
When I was 14 yrs old had sever back stomach pain went to hospital for 2 years they booked appointment to have brest reduction my mom says having big boobs don't cause this pain my mom told them to look at my gallbladder they did finally found 4 gull stones size of golf balls so I have a really hard time trusting any dr
@@lisacasselman2467 That's a pretty serious misdiagnosis. Wow.
(Lisa). I have had Epstein Barr since September 2004.
This happens a lot with EBV
I’m an RN, and spent some years working in the O.R. I adore anesthesiologists! They are the true heroes, not the arrogant surgeons who denigrate the rest of the team, including, sometimes, the anesthesiologist! I’ve seen surgeons throw things, yell, and rage. Really, the egos are out of control. “Captain of the ship” indeed!
Surgeon is one of the top professions for sociopaths.
Sausalito anesthesiologists aren't always so nice! I had a huge argument with one once while starting the surgical process to the point where the surgeon stepped in told the other Dr to shut up! The fight started after I objected to his radio choice of songs another bites the dust was the song playing!
That's another one bites the dust
I am a 75 yr old retired Emerg/nurse and educator and I think you are awesome. Thank you for caring.❤
I had liver cancer and had one of the top surgeons in the country operate on me. He teaches at the University of Chicago. We had a great relationship immediately. He respected me and was also kind. I felt he really cared about me. He saved my life.
You were fortunate. My sister was nearly given the wrong chemo. She screamed that was wrong! Charge nurse intervened. Always stay vigilant
My life was saved by a "butcher" then he managed to ruin my life by leaving me with a huge mess while doing a "hernia repair." Two doctors I've spoken with warned me about having it fixed, that I could easily end up worse off. Worse off than constant drainage from infested hernia mesh, worse off than having a huge hernia whereas I started with a small one, worse off not being able to walk properly. I would have much preferred not having my life "saved."
Name please 🙏
@@susanmclane7781, wasn't there a class action lawsuit in regards to the hernia meshes?
@@dd1984mm I think that lawsuit was a certain brand of mesh, not all hernia meshes. I had to have a naval hernia redone, but I never looked into if it had been the brand that was the subject of a lawsuit. The second surgery is holding up very nicely.
This is by far your best content!!!!
I had routine surgery planned in my 20s. He came in and announced a different procedure. I questioned it and he said, " Well don't you want to get better?"
I went a long with it.
He accidentally punctured my bowel and didn't believe me when I woke. I almost died. I had a colonoscopy bag for 2 years and it changed me. Anxiety, depression etc..
No personal injury lawsuit will get that back.
Doctors are people and some are very tired, flawed, and have the same bad habits as your plumber!
Always ask your questions, and if it's making you want to run... Do! Reschedule surgery until your anxious feelings are gone. Your life might depend on it.
As a colostomy reversal patient, I understand exactly how you felt.....❤
Dr.'s shouldn't have an ego when it comes to patient care, but they do. Most do. Finding one without an ego is nearly impossible.
I would beg to differ. The rate of suicide among psychiatrists is through the roof. I'm not saying there are no egomaniacs around, only, it's not universal.
@@EvelynBaronHaving an ego and being depressed/suicidal are not mutually exclusive…
Not just an ego, THE ego. Sometimes you feel like you have to beg for basic info
@@EvelynBaron Hot take incoming: Psychiatrists aren't real doctors and psychology isn't real science.
Patients will be the suicide victims if health care don't pull back on dei & woke agenda all this makes every person working in health care job difficult especially the big egos doctors & nurses have.
Gut instinct is the most valuable thing we possess. We're born with it so it's free. Unfortunately we've been trained to doubt and even ignore it.
I think it's the fundamental power imbalance when you're ill and in the hands of someone who is deciding your fate. It does make you doubt yourself, no question.
@@EvelynBaron whenever possible, bring a close relative or friend into the office with you. I have noticed male doctors suddenly are more respectful if there's another male there.
@@valmacclinchy I made the experience, that the doctor (hypnotherapy psychocomatic clinic) was very rude to my partner (XXY btw) when he entered the door of the office. The doctor said to me "Are you in Kindergarten that you need someone to hold your hand?" and to my friend "Go out of here!". Maybe it was a mistake that he came later in. By the time I was a people-pleaser completely disconnected from my feelings and had zero trust in myself to speak up for me.
@@kalima7446 sorry to hear that happened to you. I hope you have found a better doctor. A doctor should never tell you that you can't have someone in the room with you!!
@@valmacclinchy Thank you. Yes I found a better doctor soon after. For him (from Turkey btw knows how important family is?) it was completely normal that we come together. But since laughing about my choice what c treatments I let into my body and me feeling threatened by him I'm again without local doctor. Feeling better and better, more connected with myself. Thanks to Dr. Cat's Primal Trust, Liz Tenuto's somatic exercises.
Its so nice having a doctor do advocacy for patients
I complained about “my port catheter stabbing my heart” because I was having shortness of breath and chest pain. Long story short, they blew me off, I hit a deer on the highway which sent me to the ER and they found 2 pulmonary embolism. I was put in intensive care. I was scheduled for reconstructive surgery a week out which was postponed because of blood clots. That deer saved my life. There are awesome doctors out there, but still advocate for yourself.
I think the lesson here is not to self-diagnose, they blew you off because they dismissed "stabbing my heart" as paranoia. I often figure out what is going on with me on my own, but if I need to see a doctor I won't tell them what I think it is. I will try to describe symptoms and ask questions that lead them to what I think is going on, without being obvious. It's psychology, just like how you don't tell your boss what to do - you have to let them think it was their idea.
Please remember that 50% of doctors graduated in the LOWER 50% of their class.
What do you call the person who finishes at the bottom of their medical class? Dr. 😮
Same with lawyers, accountants, engineers, etc.
But does graduating top level always make for the best doctors?
@@ShadeIsLikely a dentist
@@inkey2 Dental training is about as demanding as medical training.
I had back surgery in April at Johns Hopkins Baltimore. My experience was wayyyy different than this. I was asked multiple times where the surgery was occurring. Had to initial the location twice with a mirror and the nurses and doctors in the room watching. Asked multiple times why I was there and for what. I told them my entire drug history, including recreational drug use. They found out that one of the drugs I was taking thinned my blood too much and we postponed my operation for a week till my blood started clotting. They also asked me multiple times, over and over, if I was forgetting anything or something I missed, and why it’s important to remember.
The entire experience changed my tune on hospital environments and doctors in general. It was a very, very good experience. Feeling like a million bucks and can’t thank the Hopkins team enough.
JH in Baltimore is wonderful. I've been a cancer patient there for nearly 2 years now. I've had a biopsy, surgery with a week long hospital stay, numerous scans, 50 rounds of radiation, chemotherapy and am still getting immunotherapy. The staff have all been thorough, careful, and kind. Like you, the care I've been receiving at Johns Hopkins has changed my negative opinion. (I've had bad experiences in the past.) But I am so grateful for the medical staff at Johns Hopkins.
Good information. I generally have an assertive nature, so being gaslighted really sets off my radar. Here is an example of two gas situations that happened to my mother at the same time. 10 years ago my mother went into the hospital for spinal surgery after another hospital diagnosed her with “muscle pull” and gave her pain pills. The surgeon said her spine was a “ mess” and should have been easily seen by the other hospital. While recovering from surgery, my mother was telling me how great she felt. However, after a couple of days, she started to feel bad. Her foreign, hospitalist doctor said she was doing fine. I could see my mother declining and told her she was getting worse. That hospitalist doctor told me I was wrong and ignored me. I felt this doctor was incompetent. The next morning I came in and saw she had declined further and found she had a new foreign hospitalist doctor. I pleaded with that doctor, who was very young but attentive, that my mother was dying and could she please run some tests to confirm it. She actually did as I asked and called me at work to come to the hospital immediately. My mother had to go in to surgery that afternoon because she had a perforated intestine. She recovered over the next month or so after having major surgery to remove a piece of her colon. When you have a loved one in the hospital, you need to actively assess their condition daily, or else.
Wow you advocated for your mother & did a good job its scary that you had to fight to help her when they should have known. You mentioned forgien doctor I call that dei flunkies which have no skill & are passed through the health care system would have been removed 15 years ago but now nit wits like this are protected its hurting health care in America very dangerous. Some no speak english awful county hospitals have these types & have many low income patients & treatment is bad. The hospital doctor should have been running test anyway to make sure all is going well. Avoid foreign doctors due to this dei nonsense. How did her bowel become perforated? From the spinal surgery? Iam glad you realized what was going on it bothers me to hear these things happen in my field.
Similar thing with my dad. He had fallen at age 88 and the hospital admitted him to rehab to help build up strength in his legs. After a week he couldn’t keep anything down and his stomach was extended. My mom pointed this out and all they wanted to do was give him an enigma. My dad kept telling them that wasn’t the problem. My mom finally yanked him out of there and put him back in the hospital. They quickly figured out his urethra was blocked and he couldn’t pee. The ursine had backed up into his stomach, which was why he couldn’t hole anything down. They caught it barely in time to keep his bladder from bursting. Unfortunately, due to his age and that the bladder had been extended for so long, it was. I longer able to push the urine out, so they had to cut a hole and insert a permanent catheter.
@@HarpMuse 😱 I’m so sorry that happened. According to research, a lot of patients die due to a low-nurse and doctor to patient ratio that is set differently by each state…. Democrats and Republicans prefer to support their popular politicians (who enable low patient care by supporting dangerous hospital and insurance standards of care).
As a surgery tech student 2/20 months into the program, I read these comment sections very often to be very aware and to learn advice about how to help the patients be their healthiest and CONTINUE being their healthiest (both mentally and physically).
Also as a surgery tech, I’ve already heard/seen hundreds of people say/write that the surgeons they work with are MEAN/NARCISSISTS/UNETHICAL EGOISTS/STUBBORN/RUDE/TOO PRIDEFUL TO ADMIT MISTAKES. (Same as Democrat/Republican voters… can’t admit their mistakes).
Luckily, being a caregiver for the last recent 10 years to mentally abusive colorist racist elderly people from Whittier, CA, I trained myself to use extreme compassion and empathy and extreme positivity and body language and my voice to turn them from frustrated, mean, hateful, mad, rude, abusive individuals to people who ended up calling me their other granddaughter and saying they loved me and pleading for me to stay with them and telling the office that they preferred me as their caregiver. If I was able help them heal and change their hearts, then I’m confident I can help improve surgeon’s mental health in the OR. (Side note, my clients never stopped being colorist racists, they just became sweeter in general ❤ 🥰).
Side note: medical staff has a high suicide rate and high depression rate when they have low nurse-to-patient ratios. Not only are nurses bullied by doctors, but nurses bully each other too.
@@100samanthamarie Our health care and educations systems are two of our most important systems, but are two of the most underpaid, undervalued instititions. I'm not surprised the suicide rate is high. I've had great doctors that seem to really care and listen to me, but more of them tend to think because they have a degree in medicine they know everything, and me being a woman know nothing. I've learned to not let them bully me and will walk away. Thank you for being a caring technician!
If at all possible, have a family member at the hospital with the patient at all times.
I had a doctor tell me I had an ingrown toenail. As my toes were turning black I kinda doubted his diagnosis and got a second opinion. I had a blood clot in my illiac artery that could have killed me. I had two stents implanted and have now recovered. I confronted the original doctor about his diagnosis and he denied saying it was an ingrown toenail. I told him I wasn’t confronting him for an argument but wanted to educate him before he killed someone. He was not a happy doc that day.
I discovered this guy as I'm having a few general anaesthetics following facial fractures. I had a huge phobia of general anaesthesia due to a friend anaesthetist relating her difficult cases (and more), and also having had a very bad experience when an anaesthetist could not make me sleep. 'Count to 10' - I gave up at 60. They left me in a tiny anti-room surrounded by medical equipment, with a shut door at my feet and a door just behind, shut. I could make out the theatre lights through the window of the door in front. Another person arrived with a small team, all masked, and this person tried to put me to sleep. Again it didn't work. On the third attempt they tried some kind of liquid and said I would feel cold going up my arm, and this time it would work. It was dreadful, the cold, gradually moving upwards, like a horror movie and from that time on, general anaesthetics freaked me out. Many years later I had an accident and have just had two general anaesthetics. In between the horror story and now, I discovered there is a God (!) who loves and wants me free of fear to live in peace. I didn't know this. Incredibly, while lying on the table waiting to be put to sleep I saw the face of Jesus (yep, can't believe I'm saying this) between me and the medical equipment. He whispered, "Look at me." I did and was consumed with peace. I've just had another anaesthetic and the same thing happened again. Well, I think God's healing is probably a lot quicker and more efficient than this world's solutions. I am completely free of fear! No matter what they do to me! Thank you to this doctor too, because having explanations always helps. If only more doctors gave the time to explain what was happening.
It also happens in veterinary medicine. Advocate for your fur babies no matter what.
Of course as they are your responsibility.😊
@@lisakeller9105 Yes, but even when you advocate for them there are still failures.
I have seen vets act just like human doctors. They can gaslight, too.
@@MM-d289 Absolutely, it has happened to me.
I’m the advocate for everyone in my family. I never let them go alone. None of us have had bad experiences. I always believe it’s because there is someone there. My mother is almost 90 and she doesn’t always say what she needs to, so I fill in details so it’s a clear picture. Her med caregivers appreciate that so much.
It’s wild how Health and Beauty Mastery isn’t getting more attention-this book is a game changer!
I took a chance and shared childhood trauma with my surgeon whom I came to trust. He thanked me and I thought that was the end of it. When wheeled into surgery 3 weeks ago, and as the propofol went in, a nurse leaned over and said, “You’re safe and we will take care of you.” Don’t know for sure yet, but I imagine the surgeon told the team. Was the best thing that could have happened for me. I had no post op issues-as far as I know that is.
Maybe he just told them that you are a bit scared being operated on or they should be sensitive which they might as well do on their own.
There are some nurses and even doctors who will say that to every patient when going under. That little piece of empathy that many HCPs have for their patients situation.
Thank you so much! You have just confirmed that leaving a doctor after years was the right move.
I know that first hand, I finally left my PCP after 14 years of being misdiagnosed, etc. I never told him I was leaving but he found out and on my final visit yelled and berated me (he's done this before for other reasons. One of many reasons I changed doctors.) Was never spoken to like that before. I thought of filing a complaint, but decided not to. I dumped him instead.
Me too! Fired her butt!
I am a diabetic. My physician left and a month later lost my health insurance. Almost a year later I had insurance and immediately set up an appointment to get my insulin levels back in control. When I arrived the nurse pricked my finger to test my sugar. When the doctor walked in she didn't even look at me. She was very hostile and wanted to know why I hadn't been taking my medicine. I explained that without insurance my medication alone would cost me 2x my monthly salary. It didn't matter what I said. She would roll her eyes and make snide comments. I finally spoke up and said, look I am here to get help. If you don't want to help me then just say so. She started yelling at me. I ended up looking up the entire board member list for the facility, the HR, the head of nursing and wrote individual letters to all of them. I received calls and they seemed very proactive. I definitely got the impression I was not the first person to complain.
While I of course will never go back, I hope I saved someone else the trauma of be treated so poorly by someone who is suppose to be there to help someone.
You are my hero. I saw a sign on the exam room door at an urgent care. The sign read do not abuse the healthcare workers. I thought there should be a sign saying do not abuse the patients. I need to be courageous and stand up for my parents and myself the next time we are abused by healthcare workers. You give me strength. Thanks for sharing your story.
@Sharon-sw7mr thank you for being so nice!
@@michelled34 Michelle, thank you for being so strong and standing up for yourself and being an example for others to stand up for themselves and how to go about it.Much appreciated. ❤️🙏
I can relate to the medical trauma. I have had bad outcomes trusting the medical profession.
Me too. I have medical trauma relating to my very first surgery ever. I filed a grievance with the hospital. If I don't get any satisfaction, the next step will be the state agency and then a lawyer 😤 😒.
Went to ER with swollen painful hand after falling. They diagnosed a sprain and "possible" fracture. Went to orthopedic next day for more x rays and had 2 breaks and a fracture! Sad when a hospital cannot even diagnose broken bones! Scary as hell.
And I have had / are having good outcomes without trusting them, but trusting in our creator and Jesus Christ for my healing . Read Isaiah 53:5 - He took everything on the cross - If I need to trust anybody it is HIM, Jesus Christ , the way, the truth and the life
@@lailasiddiqui263Amen. Everything is in His hands. We should ask for His protection when interacting with the healthcare system.
I had a surgery literally scream at me after surgery because I told him I was in pain. He said it was all in my head and that I needed psychiatric help! A few hours later a nurse checked on me and spoke with a different surgeon and they discovered the first doctor HAD screwed up and his actions were causing my pain. The new doctor redid the surgery and I was fine. To this day, 25 years later that A$$hole doctor has NEVER apologized and/ or admitted he was wrong. As far as I'm concerned all of the good doctors who truly cared have retired or quit. I'd rather die than trust another doctor. You, are an exception. I wish you were where I am or could be cloned. Please don't EVER change.
Lawyer!!!
@@Sushi2735 Lawyers don't care unless the patient actually dies. I almost died and when I contacted lawyers that was basically what they said. Medical malpractice cases are expensive and time consuming so they only accept ones that will give them a big pay out.
@@A---ti3zz , oh I am so terribly sorry! I had no idea. I sincerely hope you have recovered from the trauma. 🙏
@@Sushi2735 Thank you. It is really sad that there really isn't anyone to fight for the patient. It is like doctors can do whatever they want until it kills a patient. I never got an apology either after they almost killed me. They broke me and no one cares
@@A---ti3zz , horrible! No they won’t apologize. It indicates guilt. I’m sorry your lawyer wouldn’t take the case. Most hospitals settle. 😢
I am the polite one, and have experienced all three. Absolutely, I have politely had to fight through crippling anxiety of confrontation, when doctors at times have been flat out incorrect, and gaslighting the garbage out of me. 😢
My 84 year old father was in life threatening condition after a head on collision. I have no medical back ground, however, I am good at asking questions and I'm not afraid to ask. Better questions get better answers especially when you do research. I think when a doctor sees that you are invested and will never stop asking questions till the best outcome is reached there's a difference in care. After 11 days on life support, bleeding on the brain, fracture C2 and T10, liver nearly torn in half, multiple blood transfusions, pulverized hip and pelvis. Not only did my dad survive, he learned how to walk again and eventually he was living on his own. Surprisingly my dad even got his divers's license back which I wasn't too happy about but that's another story.
Wow re your dad's recovery.
Double wow for knowing the importance of asking good questions. (If info from dr is too complicated to understand, many drs respond well when asked to explain in laymen's terms.)
So sorry re driver's license. A very senior relative refused to give his up until he sideswiped a tractor trailer and ended up in a ditch.
Medical ptsd is very real.
Thank you
I Have had 2 experiences with this. Awful! They seemed very uncaring and took no responsibility for their actions. I was given a paralyzing drug WITHOUT phenobarbital only bc the surgery schedule was running behind. I was fully awake and suffocating ....a slow death that was horrible. I have never felt such pain my head was exploding, I was gasping and desperately trying to get a breath but my lungs were paralyzed My last thought before I passed out was that they had killed me. Another routine surgery left me dissabled. I confronted both so called "doctors" I was never even given an apology. They seem to think that patients are inanimate objects.
I’ve had severe medical PTSD for years from trauma and how I was treated and the things that went on in hospitals. I tell them things and they don’t believe me when they find out I have anxiety they just assume that I’m exaggerating. And I was given medication for high blood pressure and I have told him I’m very sensitive to drugs and I’ve never taken anything like that and I told him I’ve had severe side effects from a lot of drugs, and that I really didn’t want to do it. They gave me the drug. My blood pressure dropped so fast and I was out. They had left me alone in the emergency room, and if my friend had not been present, I would not be here today. That happened last November. Then they came in and shamed me and said I just had anxiety and I should’ve never come there, basically it was my fault. And they had to keep me overnight and they were angry because I went unconscious. They had no choice. I was treated very badly and they were very cold and very disrespectful to me. Telling me I need to get therapy. I said I do therapy. I told you I have PTSD from events that took place in medical facilities from things that happened in the past. but also that I was very careful about any drug. I took because of severe side effects and how they seem to affect me and that I don’t always respond like other people do that people are different and don’t react the same and that I normally don’t need the same amount of medication as other people do. later, when the nurse came in, she laughed at me and said, at least your blood pressure went down! There was eight people in my room, trying to reverse the drug because I was out with in less than 60 seconds I could feel my whole body burning all over and I called out to my friend. Please help me that something was very wrong call for help and I could feel myself going. That was just one simple drug used for high blood pressure. My friend who’s a pharmacist told me it was a very strong drug with many many side effects. They wouldn’t even let the ER doctor come back and talk to me. They sent in the hospitalist and he’s the one who started to berate me. My friend said she told them all of this before they insisted upon giving this to her. It was a terrible experience and I did report them to the patient advocate and they went through the board and they said they were sorry that I feel that I had a bad experience, but that they did nothing wrong.
In February 2022, I was diagnosed with kidney stones and hydronephrosis in both kidneys. The urologist broke up the stones and put in stents to let the kidneys drain. Learned my ureters are very narrow as the right one became scarred and would not function on its own. I had the first of several nephrostomies (with external bag) installed through my back by a surgeon. Fast forward to Tuesday, July 12, 2022. I still have a nephrostomy bag. Urologist decides he’s going to remove the nephrolostomy. He’s standing behind me while his assistant is beginning to remove the tube via my urethra. When the bag hits my back the urologist suddenly realizes his mistake. He yanks the tube back through my urethra, ureter, kidney, and out my back. By the next morning I was feverish, nauseated and had a raging headache. By that night I woke screaming that I couldn’t get warm. The Thursday, July 14, I was in the ER having tests run, having a nephrostomy bag reinstalled by the original surgeon, and my labs came back with sepsis. I was admitted, filled with antibiotics and fluids, and by the 16th they determined the sepsis was caused by e. Coli. I was finally released with more antibiotics late on Sunday, July 17. I had missed my anniversary dinner with my husband. A month later the urological surgeon in the same practice as the urologist performed a function evaluation and determined my right kidney was only functioning at 25%. The original doctor never did a functionality test, so there’s no way of knowing how much of the damage was caused by the sepsis brought on by his errors and indifference. My right kidney was removed September 20, 2022. I never saw the urologist after he pulled the nephrostomy from my back. In fact, on their online portal, that visit doesn’t even appear.
I have severe PTSS from that day and whole experience. I canceled my last two appointments for follow-up with the surgeon because I couldn’t enter that office. Unfortunately, my husband discouraged me from pursuing legal action because he thought it would be impossible to win. By the time I decided to try (before the two-year SoL was up, all the local firms were busy with multiple murder cases against a local hospital due to a nurse stealing narcotics from patients and injecting several of them with tap water. You can’t make this stuff up.
C-section with a failed epidural.
I think they trusted YOU as much as trusting their instincts. Anesthesiologists are always the nicest doctors, I've found. So, there you go...keep doing what you're doing. Thank you.
Yes and anesthesiologist have some of the highest rates of suicide amongst doctors. Sometimes people pay a price for empathy.
At one point in my life, I was getting chemotherapy. I had a professional job and came in looking pretty good. The doc didn't take me serious on my complaints of not feeling well, etc. He said - but you look reallly good. I learned after that to come in without makeup and crappy clothes so I could be taken seriously.
Absolutely mind blowing.
I had a doctor who used to say the same to me when I was 16/17. Being a teenager, I'd always wear make-up and try to look my best. I was on steroids for my condition, which typically give you a "moon face" (we all know that sometimes when told you look well, it's because you've gained weight) I was getting skinnier by the day and felt awful, some days I'd pass out/fall asleep/throw up/have no energy (& other unpleasantsymptoms). My Doctor would tell me I was doing well on the drugs he'd prescribed and send me on my way. My Mom saw me declining daily, so she came along to my next appointment. She told me not to wear make-up and reiterated the problems I was having. I later found out that as my Mom had come with me early on, with my baby sister in tow, the doctor thought she was my child, so dismissed my tiredness. When he saw me without my war paint on, and in an outfit that showed how painfully thin I was despite the fat face I was admitted to hospital. I was there for two weeks, home for a week then had to be re-admitted for a further two weeks.
My doctor had made assumptions and didn't listen to me "because I was so young". That's never happened again. I've packed up and tried to leave hospital over a handful of times (twice in a one week stay) two different consultants have chased after me to apologise for errors made for not listening to me. After 30 years living with chronic conditions, I know my own body. I know what medications I'm on & why. I always speak up and won't be dismissed for; being too young, a hypochondriac, hormonal, having no medical training, being old[er] an so on. I do however listen to advice, ask lots of questions and make notes to refer to later on. I've got my entire medical history on my emergency notes on my phone (accessible to all) I also have it all on paper for times when I'm not able to speak or to give to someone to when I need them to advocate for me.
I hate having to change general practitioners when I move, but over the years I've always found ones I can trust and once had every doctor in one practice that I was comfortable with who I trusted. My relationships with my current GP's and specialists are that of mutual respect, trust & honesty. Thank God for the NHS (except the severe difficulties and struggles brought about by poor/under funding from govt, excess red tape & the appointment of too many middle managers/paper pushers)
I’ve had similar experiences. I apparently mask my pain very well so doctors blow me off and I’ve been sent away or misdiagnosed because of it and had to return or go to other doctors later. Once they finally saw evidence of what I was dealing with, they would flip out and start offering me pain meds and shift into high gear trying to solve the problem.
During chemotherapy, when I was feeling so crappy that I couldn't get out of bed, I was told to get some exercise. They tell you beforehand that any side effects can be treated with medication, but when it comes down to it, you're on your own. 🙄
Exactly!!! That’s what I do when I want doctors to take me seriously
When I was at my worst, it a 2nd year resident at a walk in clinic that listened to me, not my family doctor, not anybody else. This kid listened, ordered the right tests, with the right urgency, and very likely saved my life. My family doctor still had the cojones to argue with the specialist I was referred to, who had confirmed the resident's diagnosis. Sheer hubris.
I hope you switched internists.
After losing two family members to cancer.. my mother would always get annoyed at me when speaking up, asking questions and asking for help.. this was refreshing to listen to and helped me realize I’ve been doing the right thing.. she possibly was the gaslighter towards me lol
Thank you for this informative lesson. I had Lithotripsy almost 42 years ago for an impacted right kidney. By a Doctor that I had full trust in. 40+ years experience, then a professor at college that would be doing the procedure. Had zero complications. Back before MRI I had an X-ray. My kidney was like a white light...so many stones. Blessed they were not stag horn stones. I still came out with kidney damage from those stones. Fast forward 42 years, now 67, again needing a procedure to rid me of a stone blocking path out of my kidney. A younger urologist this time told me if I didn't have one of two procedures, my right kidney would be dead in a year. Then stated he preferred having an incision in my back, a newer procedure. Also informing me that he wasn't sure he would be successful at getting to the stone causing partial blockage by doing either procedure. With that information I chose to once again choose (Lithotripsy). I had the feeling the Doctor was less than pleased I made that choice, solely from his mannerisms at my pre appointment date. And having so very briefly seeing me before the procedure in the hospital. Not seeing me after the procedure while still in hospital. Nor discussing how it went at a later time 10 days later, at appointment to remove the stent in his office. All in all I am not very pleased all the way around with this doctor. And here I am again looking at another procedure on my left kidney also having stones. I am at a loss as to what to do this time. I live in a rural area with not many options as to what to do in regards to urologist availability or hospital.
I wish more doctors were like you!! I can’t bring myself even to go to the hospital due to so much medical anxiety and cptsd! From being gaslit so many times!!!
Same here. I will never go to the hospital again or trust any doctor. 😢😢
I feel u! Story of my life!
Same here. I don't think I could ever trust another medical professional of any level. Unless they left Rockefeller medicine too.
My father was an MD and JD. I could tell you tales of malpractice that would set your hair on fire. A man who had the wrong leg removed and was left with none. A newborn left in the nursery with a raging fever until his brain was physically gone. Women orally raped during surgery by their anesthesiologist while the surgeons ignored what was going on. I could go on and on. You must trust you gut, find your voice and if you can, bring a friend to observe what you might miss when under stress. Dr. Kaveh's doing a real service here. I takes courage to speak out.
This is so important. I kept asking my Radiology Oncologist if I really needed all the treatment in a clinical trial. I was upfront, due to my mastectomy complications, I wanted the minimum. He kept saying they were required. I researched and it didn’t make sense. So I called another facility in the trial. While they were specific no medical advice could be given, I was told to ask the question again and get another opinion elsewhere if the answer was the same. Had I not done my own research and reached out beyond my hospital, I would have been over treated. Yes, the department is aware of his treatment.
Scary😮
In a clinical trial, the researchers need you to follow the protocol for them to get useful data. If you're uncomfortable with it (which is ok), please tell them so you can either drop out, or they will know not to count your results in the data.
@@disqusrubbish5467 I did the same day of the appointment he admitted to not giving proper informed consent that the trial gave more treatment than I needed. And I know not all trials are like this. Had a wonderful experience with a breast cancer vaccine trial that I completed and am excited that it may help save patients one day. It was a night and day difference how was treated.
Or you can get permission from the sponsor of the trial to do something differently
I have heard of women being refused treatment unless they take part in clinical trials, we dont have to be guineapigs for so.e arseholes ego who doesnt know the true meaning of informed consent or patient centred care.
When we speak up we get beat down and there's no one to help us
In the UK there are patient advocate services in hospitals etc. that do just that, speak up for you.
I like the "fake it til you make it " idea. Even if you feel small because of the way they treat you, STAND UP TO DISRESPECT AND ABUSE. PRETEND, IF YOU HAVE TO, THAT YOU ARE NOT INTIMIDATED BY THEM! I WILL NEVER, EVER, LET THEM INSULT OR DISRESPECT ME, AGAIN. THEY ARE NARCISSISTS.
I've been there before, after going to 3 different ERs , vascular Dr, dermatologist for answers to why I have pitting edema in both legs/feet ,crying, begging for help and the say they don't know! I've lived with this for 5 years and don't know who else to turn to.
@@Cad42676. I have that pitting edema in all the places u mentioned, also. Both legs and feet. He prescribed a diuretic to flush the fluid out, but that doesn’t take very much out. Also am suppose to wear the support hose, but I CANT for the life of me, get them on!! Putting and keeping your feet up in air, against wall 2 times a day for at least 20 min. Is suppose to help, but don’t think I’ve seen a change. Also do feet and ankle exercises without sny change! Have u tried any of these things? I imagine your Dr. told u about most of those, or seen videos about done, like I have. I’ve only been to ONE DR. , though. I need to go to at least one or 2 more to see if they csn find anything! I don’t know WHAT TO DO, either!! I’ve had mine for about a yr and a half! I know this is NOT normal, and am scared what it might bring on!! I feel for u!!
You have to educate yourself, be confident, and keep yourself up
I was a nice patient being ignored for my stomach issues that I described. I changed doctors and my new doctor found cysts in my liver and pancreas and issues with my colon . I am monitored every 6 months with an MRI. Love my new doctor.
I think another important thing is to know when to bail on your doctor. I had a total hip replacement 13 years ago that went really well. I loved my doc. Seven years after the surgery, I developed symptoms of greater trichanteric bursitis on the outside of that hip. I saw him three times over a 4 year period for this. The last time, he said, “if it’s not better in a year, come back to see me.“ My inner voice was all like, “hell no!” He, along with two other doctors, said it wouldn’t help to have an MRI of that hip, because the metal would “scatter“ the image. I found another hip replacement doc, who said, “yes we can MRI that hip. We can use metal suppression MRI” 😮 Getting that done today. And now I have a new hip doctor. 💃🏻
As someone who has had a heart transplant at 16, a kidney transplant at 26, and cancer now at 43 I’m always 100% honest with my doctor. It makes zero sense to keep anything from them. They aren’t going to rat you out. They don’t care about whether you say something incriminating. Now I’ve never done drugs or anything but I’m always listening and making sure whatever they read off is correct. Nowadays they ask you what you are having done to see if YOU know what’s going on. If you don’t then there is a problem. You need to just be aware of everything before going to sleep so that way no surprises. Accidents happen and sometimes patients try to get through those checklists too fast and screw it up for themselves. This is your life so just pay attention. And FOLKS if you get a doctor you don’t like don’t be afraid to ask for a different doctor. I had the head of endoscopy the chief insult me in the hallway to his partner and I screamed at the staff and said I know you heard that. They said he does it all the time and he’s the chief. I said well I need another doctor because he will not be doing my operation. You stick with your gut. Smart words. Don’t ever settle for a doctor that is rude or who doesn’t believe or validate what you are going through.
They do, “rat you out.”
One time I asked a doctor for antidepressant medication. She excused herself and returned shortly. A few minutes later 2 very large male police entered. I started crying and the police towered over me yelling at me to calm down. I am a small woman.
Later I learned that the doctor had made a mistake. Doctors can’t force people into hospitalization for asking for medication. People have to have an active plan to hurt themselves. I didn’t and I didn’t tell her that I did. But it doesn’t matter. I will never be honest again.
Some doctors will call the police. But even if they just put it into your medical record it can come back to bite you later.
Most doctors cannot communicate and let their egos drive the “conversation.” Teaching basic communications and basic everyday manners should be essential in med school. Absolutely essential.
@amy83079 There are a lot of ego issues amongst doctors. And there are also mega control issues some of which arise from imposter syndrome, incompetence and fear of failure. If you save lives for a living, you can't afford to look like an amateur even when you screw up.
Please don’t say “most” . I would say most doctors do their best to help you. You just remember the ones who don’t much more vividly.
I woke up in post-op following a total shoulder replacement surgery with incredible HOT pain that felt like I was being branded. I was told the anesthetic in a “PainBuster” ball would keep my shoulder and arm numb and pain would be minimal or no pain. After repeating over and over that my arm was on fire I was hooked up to a Fentanyl drip on a PCA pump. It took the edge off the pain so they whisked me off to a surgical floor. My husband and a friend came in around two hours later and I was crying from the pain. I’d repeatedly told my nurse that something was wrong because I could move my fingers and arm and I was in intense pain (all things my doctor said I couldn’t do and wouldn’t feel while the Painbuster pump was in my shoulder), but my nurse ignored me until my husband came in. My nurse overheard me telling him that I’d been in pain ever since I woke in post-op, but it seemed like even the Fentanyl wasn’t helping anymore and my shoulder and arm were on fire. Long story short….The Painbuster pump was found to be clamped off (and must have been since surgery), and a nurse giving an IV push medication failed to restart the Fentanyl pump over 90 minutes back, so I had NO pain medication on board. It was awful and traumatic!!
So sorry that happened to you!
I had shoulder replacement surgery after an accident. It is the most horrible pain for months and months. As a nurse, those nurses should have checked everything when the pain medication was not working.
I woke during a cervical fusion and bleeding to death
I woke up like that from eye surgery when I was 6. My hand and arm was on fire, screaming and crying, didn't care how my eye felt. Turns out the IV had been placed in a major nerve in my hand rather than the vein, using an adult sized needle rather than child sized (and after busting up the veins in my other hand). I'm pushing 40 now and still can't see or feel an IV on/in me without going into full blown panic attacks over it.
When I had knee surgery, I wrote “yes” on the knee they were supposed to operate on and then “no” on the knee that was fine and didn’t need surgery. The surgery team took it in stride and one nurse said I was smart to do that.
That was a great idea! Thank you for sharing it.
Every joint surgery I’ve had,the surgeon comes in before and marks the joint to be operated on. I’m asked by the anesthesiologist,the surgeon,and nurses what joint before they start. And the surgeon signs his initials on the joint beforehand. Not understanding why this isn’t done in all hospitals.
I had knee surgery 3 weeks ago and they had me write yes on my knee and I asked if I needed to write no on the other leg and they said no because some Dr won’t notice what it said just that there’s writing and do the wrong one. After I write yes the Dr came in and wrote his name.
@robincolbert3430 ~ I've heard of a surgeon removing the healthy side of a lung (!!!) rather than the side that should've been removed. So the poor person has to be on a ventilator the rest of their life!!!
How the *HECK* that surgeon didn't realize they were removing the healthy side is beyond me!! I would *DEFINITELY* mark which site needed surgery!!!
@@priscillamoore5736 That's appalling incompetence on the part of everyone involved, especially the surgeon for not double checking. I feel for the person who has been left in such a condition. Terrible.
When I had surgery in april this year it brought up a huge old trauma of mine.
As a 3 year old I had an accident where I broke my skull especially the bones in my face (eyes, nose, sinus caverties, jaws you name it). I was very lucky to have survived at all and with minimal scarring to my brain and face.
So this year there was a big benign tumor in my sinus caverty (probably caused by the accident so many years ago) it had already destroyed the bone and filled half of my eye socket too. It also put pressure on the Trigeminus nerv which hurts like hell...
I saw the actual surgeon for less than 10 minutes the day before and less than 30 seconds after the surgery.
He told my that he couldn't foresee if he would go in through my nose, mouth or eye that that would be decided during surgery and when I told him that I was afraid not knowing what would happen to me while I'm under especially because of the trauma from the accident, he just shrugged and said it couldn't be helped.
The actual surgery went very well but when I woke up I still didn't know what happend and no one would tell me except that surgery is over and everthing went well. I was in so much pain and couldn't open my eyes because everytime I did it was like a drill went through my right eye into my brain. Because you can open just one eye of course but even with a closed lid the other will move too.
I was told that my left eye is alright and why I didn't want to open it. When I said it hurt too much I was told that that wasn't possible.
It was days later when I was told that they could remove the tumor in total, that it was most likely benign and that they had to cut through a nerv to do so (but that will heal, even though it takes up to a year) and that they had to put in titanium mash and two screws to seal the bottom of my eye pocket shut again.
The only painkillers I got was Paracetamol 500mg which had the same effect like chocolate drops.
I was in massive pain. And. I. Couldn't. SEE!
No one cared. They even scolded me because I couldn't eat and had high bloodpressure and when I broke down and cried after three days I was told that it's no wonder when I'm in so much pain if I keep crying because that way the swelling wouldn't go down and the neither would the pain...
I've had two abdominal surgeries before and compared to this they were a walk in the park.
So even when you talk to the doctors it's not guaranteed that they will LISTEN!
I love your channel Dr. Kaveh. As a very experienced (ex) Healthcare professional (RN on a ICU step down unit that also was med/surg floor) I have some genetic health problems like osteoporosis and 2 clotting disorders. I had a horrible leg break and ended up in the ICU as well as the unit i worked on during my nursing career. It was during yhe height of the covid pandemic it was 90% covid patents although during all of 2020 and 2021 I was a patient on that unit. I didn't have covid but I was in a airborne precautions room in isolation for the entire covid deal pretty much. I was extremely sick with malnutrition, 3 pressure ulcers on my backside. A coccyx one and one on each thigh. There were all unstagesble pressure ulcers where you could see the spinal cord and both femures they were necrotic and I was on hospice twice during that time but I lived through it with many surgeries, multiple wound vacs, many hours of woundcare twice a day. Usually about 4 hours with 2 nurses helping and I assisted with the wounds on my belly and sides. They wanted to do a complete amputation at the waist but I avoided that thank God! 🙏 I am paralyzed from the waist down and incontinent due to spinal cord damage when it was exposed with the coccyx ulcer and advanced osteomyelitis.
I have lived my life in bed since I first broke that leg late 2019. Thankfully I have a grea 24/7 caregiver and home health. I enjoy continuing my education and your channel as well as excellent courses available for free on TH-cam have got me living a acceptable life!! Thank you!
-Adam
Continue to heal and share your words with others. We often fail to realize how fortunate we are. It sounds as if your care could have been managed so much better. Many of the things you listed should never have occurred. God bless you. Lp ✨
Sounds terrible. I don’t understand how you be amputated from the waist down. Was that a typo?
Peace and health on your journey.
Prayers for your continued healing...you certainly have been through a lot..I am so sorry..I hope you continue to improve 🙏
Adamduncan5371 Praying for your healing and the recovery of your health ❤ 🙏
I wish there were more physicians like you. I almost died because of a Dr with an ego. I fortunately was transferred to a hospital and had an amazing surgeon.
Me too!!
He is 100% correct. I unfortunately have had many doctors since childhood due to an autoimmune condition and most of them were dismissive, uncaring and/or rude. I would be discouraged but my sister that’s a nurse told me to be my own health care advocate and it transformed my experience with doctors.
I now have a conversation with every new physician I see before we address any issues I’m being treated for about patient and doctor etiquette and the steps I will take for poor care or treatment of me as a person and patient, so I rarely run into the problems that I had before.
Please speak up because it can save your life in more ways than you think. I was almost killed when I was pregnant with my son and I didn’t speak up. They unfortunately start to see numbers instead of people and patients so it’s up to you to remind them that you are both and they are there to service you not the other way around.
My baby started having seizures in postpartum suite and I kept telling the nurse that something isn’t right. Every nurse and doctor said my baby was just having reflux even after showing videos. I knew in my gut something wasn’t right and I demanded them take him to nicu rather than discharging us to go home. They completely denied it the whole 10 days in nicu. Sure enough we went home and he started having seizures again. Took him to another hospital and they saw exactly what I was seeing. I had to forgive the previous hospital. By the grace of God and His goodness my baby is getting taken care of. I thank Jesus what He did on the cross for my son to get his healing.
Scary isn't it, went through hell when one of my daughters got very ill and it took 6 months to finally find someone that could help her, my trust and respect for the medical system in this country will never be the same again.
AMEN ❤
My baby had projectile vomiting. Everyone just kept smirking at me and told me babies vomit. Women really aren't taken seriously. I was treated like an hysterical young mother, even though I was studying childcare.
Jesus and the gods had nothing to do with it.
Your keen attention and the better hospital did.
@@rpdx3 it is most definitely God, not plural. No man can heal him, it was in his genetics. It came to a point where he was having multiple seizures a day and doctors were sending me in circles doing the same thing over again and again expecting different results and looking at him as just another customer. Prescribing medication on top of medication and using language as if this will be forever because his genetic results on an epilepsy panel came back as mutated genes. Well guess what? GOD performs miracles and he has been healed for 2 months now. Do not project your hopelessness and unbelief onto my son’s TESTIMONY and what JESUS can do by the power of the Holy Spirit. Do not force your beliefs onto me, I reject your words because it is absolutely a divine miracle performed by God. He gives us authority over demons and the Bible has testimony in all accounts of Jesus casting out epileptic demons, unclean spirits. I’m not saying this is everybody’s case, but healing by the hand of God is definitely our portion. God bless you, I hope you come to know Jesus for who He truly is!! Jesus is the full manifestation of God in flesh and He came off His throne in heaven to die for every sin we commit so we can come boldly into His holy presence!
This absolutely happened to me many years ago. I found myself in the room w/the anesthesiologist before the doc and nursing staff came in for surgery and my gut said, 'he's the most important person you need to share your immediate history with.' Despite all of that wonderful two miles of paperwork you fill out prior to surgery, humans are fallable. When I told him he looked at me w/disbelief and said, "you do?" He left the room a big hurry and returned with a completely different medication. He said to me, "thanks for telling me that because it wasn't in my notes and I had a completely different med for you and it could have gone bad."
Thank you for advocating for ourselves. This is my experience. If the doctors won’t listen, change doctors. You have to live with the outcome, not them!
Thank you for this message. They have recently discovered that I have a hiatal hernia at the site of a cyst that was removed from the top of my diaphragm less than a year ago. My first question after surgery was literally asking if the diaphragm was perforated in the process. Two rounds of thoracentesis post op pulled 1.5 liter of fluid from one lung even though the surgeon said I was fine and the symptoms would abate. During the first round at the very end I felt a jolt like my kidney was being vacuumed out. I nearly passed out. The pain took three weeks to resolve. I wrote emails and talked to the office multiple times: Just take the medicine and we will see you in three weeks. In retrospect, I am pretty sure the first thoracentesis aspirated mesentery through the diaphragm. The second thoracentesis was painless and only 350 ml. My repeated concern to the surgeon and his team is that fluid is moving between abdomen and pleural space. I have been referred to a general surgeon, but the whole process of repeatedly being told what I was feeling was not what was happening has left me disoriented and frustrated. Thanks for listening.
OMW! Been 4yrs & 2 surgeries and several doctors…..telling me I am fine; right up until last week I had enough of feeling like my heart was going to explode. Made an appointment with my cardiologist. He asked about the hiatal hernia that was seen in my scans 4yrs ago. My mouth hit the floor. My response was along the lines of “everyone has told me that it’s nothing to worry about…”
•
I’ve been barely able to eat, sleep, exercise, or function like I was prior to the 1st surgery before any of this happened. I have anxiety & panic attacks worse than ever. All over something that should have & could have been addressed 4yrs ago when it was 1st identified.
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I’m sorry you have to experience this issue. Blessings to you & I hope you are able to get yours fixed soon.
I'm a stage 3 breast cancer patient. He is RIGHT ... if I would have been the "nice " patient I would be dead!!! Ihave "fired" numerous medical oncologists & a surgeon for being disrespectful, pushy & trying to play the power card with me. I now have integrative doctors who listen to my research, think outside the box dont try and force me into treatments I dont want -- and now I am on my way into remission! No thanks to any of my original doctors. Even had an anesthesiologist who prescribed me narcotics after surgery even tjough I very explicitly told them I did not want them & explained my pain control regimin prescribed by a cancer pain Dr. Such narcissistic assholes. Cedar Siani in LA.
ok purist..toss those pain pills like an idiot and next time when u really need them u are screwed😂
@@Marie-ts8rpNot everyone does well with every drug- I do better with arthritis drugs that aren’t narcotics. I don’t the the post meant they were asking for lavender.
@@Marie-ts8rp
🤷🏽♀️ EVERYBODY deals with pain DIFFERENTLY
Good for you👍🏼 After all, WE ARE OUR BEST advocates ...
🫶🏽✌🏽and much healing 💗
I love the word "Fired"
Bring backup is the best advice, an outside perspective from someone who knows you is a game changer.
My mother had a doctor that kept overbooking his schedule. Every time she had to see him, she was forced to sit for HOURS in the waiting room because he was so behind. When she was finally seen, he would rush through her exam often without even making eye contact. One day, she had enough of it. My mother worked for the same hospital as her doctor. After keeping her waiting for hours again for the appointment, with her missing work while sitting there is his waiting room, she sent him an itemized bill for the she wasted sitting in his waiting room. A few weeks later, she received a check in the mail from his practice. I used to work in cardiac rehab as a physiologist. I always told my patients that they need to be their own advocate or have a loved one be their advocate. Big health care systems are always finding ways to cut costs and minimize staff and this leads to overworked and overbooked clinics. These patients need to assert themselves and stop seeing physicians as beyond reproach.
Wow. It's difficult to believe the practice actually sent your mother a check. Great strategy on her part.
BTW: Very fortunately my husb & i are seeing a medical group that seems to be terrific about timing. Rarely have much of a wait. Except for one specialist who very kindly has staff keep us posted. And they ask if we'd prefer to reschedule.
@jeffissimo1221 Your mother was not "forced" to sit and wait. She CHOSE to. She could've left and booked with another doctor. Nice it worked out.
@@eileenstasczak6606 Umm you mustn't have much experience in a modern healthcare system. At the time, she was in her 60s, today she is in her 70s. Patients in today's healthcare system do not get choices. The appointments themselves are often several weeks out from the time they are referred by their primary care physician. Example, my mother fractured her leg after being tripped by a dog. Her orthopedist wanted her to begin PT and to return in 8 weeks. 8 weeks had come and gone and she returned for the follow-up. PT still hadn't even made their initial intake evaluation. She is also a diabetic. Her endocrinologist books up months in advance and makes patients weight more than an hour past their allotted appointment. Modern healthcare systems are purchasing smaller hospitals, cutting services, referring patients to designated "main campuses" for imaging and testing, and overbooking doctors. Patients do not have a CHOICE.
I saw a doctor whose wait time was between 1-4 hours. If you left, you were taken off the list and wouldn't be seen. I finally asked why the wait time was so long. Turns out the Dr booked 4 patients for every 10-15 minute time slot. I never went back.
@@mccartney23fan I know for a fact that they do this to offset anytime they book Medicaid or Medicare patients. The fees associated with both programs are less than that of private pay or private medical insurance. They try to maximize that time slot by booking 3 or 4 patients at a time. Some doctors even have "medicare" or "medicaid" days where they dedicate one day a week to these patients and keep separate days for private pay patients. The medicare/medicaid patients get book 3-4 at each time slot, but on private pay days, they may only book 1 or 2 per slot and devote a little more time to each patient. I know this because while I was in school I worked part-time at a medical clinic.
As a Cardiologist...I tell my staff and patients, families to write a list of questions you have so when we talk or meet you can go over them its a stressful time so organize your time wisely .
Quite agree. I recently had emergency surgery (bowel resection for blocked bowel due to misdiagnosis, it was Crohns I had for 10 years not IBS) all the surgeons and anaetheologists were amazing, they happily sat and listened to and answered all my written questions and waited whilst I recorded the answer, they happily discussed things whilst a family member joined me and waited on one occasion whilst I rang same family member so they could listen to the consult too. I’m sad that people here have had such horrific experiences. I have to go back for stoma reversal surgery at some point and I feel so much better about that and knowing that I will have the same surgeon perform that as did the bowel resection, she saved my life. So please keep telling people to write their questions down and record the answers.
My cardiologist (marfan specialist) when I tell him certain things I'm experiencing or how some of the meds are and he always says "well that shouldn't be happening" like he'd know, I've been seeing him since I was 18, I'm 42 now. And I'm pretty sure Our Family has to be one of the worst affected with marfans, immediate Family as My Dad was adopted.
@dojocho1894 if only that was all that is needed to be be taken seriously and treated respectfully. It's not the patient's job to see that doctors are kept happy and satisfied. You are in the profession to provide patients with expert, competent and timely care in a compassionate manner. Do No Harm!
@@cindyj5522 You need to gather your thoughts in a more organized manner, either that or your reading comprehension skills are lacking.
@@cindyj5522 Its not ALL that is needed... but it is a good start. And of course its not your job to keep the physician happy... but you have "x" amount of time with the physician. If you are disorganized and ramblling, you force us to go on a treasure hunt to pull the information we need from you. This wastes TIME.
The cardiologists advice is sound. You can dislike it if you want, but go against his very reasonable advice and you will get care that is less than it could be.
I tell my family and friends to KNOW WHY THEY ARE GOING TO THE DOCTOR. We call it the "Chief Complaint." Now... sometimes there are multiple complaints. But you would do well to prioritize them and practice stating them succinctly.
Doing so helps us provide you with that "expert, competent and timely care" you mentioned.
I lost some of my hearing, enough to get a BAHA (Bone Anchored Hearing Aid). I was told I could have local or general anesthesia. I opted for general,I’m had done a lot of reading from people who had one or the other. I decided I didn’t want to hear the drill or feel the pressure of it. I had to have bloodwork done, and had to wait an extra week. The morning of the surgery the surgeon was making her rounds of the surgery patients. When she left me she said something about local anesthesia. I got one of the residents over and told her I or she needs to talk to the surgeon, I’m getting general, not local. She said, the doctor prefers using local, I firmly said but I don’t, and it’s my head. She went and talked to the doctor, a few minutes later came back over and told me they would be using general anesthesia. If I didn’t speak up, I would have been awake for the surgery! I’m glad I insisted on what I wanted.
If a doctor or any professional is rude, arrogant, not listening, won't allow being recorded, too busy typing instead of listening, confuse you with someone else, recites incorrect history/meds/info, are condescending esp if a female, doesn't believe you, etc., etc., get up and WALK OUT!! You must be proactive in your own care!
And the looks of incredulity on their faces as you are leaving is hysterical!!
@@ebgewen she was mad as a hornet. I’m grateful if her students learned anything at all.
From 1992 or thereabouts, I started to develop vague pain and intermittent weakness in my hands. My speech also became intermittently slurred, and I would begin to stagger because I couldn't feel my feet. I went to my GP on numerous occasions, and each time, he fobbed me off, saying it was probably viral, muscle strain..etc. He also accused me of being a 'closet alcoholic and/or drug user'. Finally, he said I was probably a hypercondriac and sent me to a psychiatrist. This was in May of 2000. The psychiatrist listened, took voluminous notes, asked a ton of questions, and then sent me for an MRI. 4 days later, I had my diagnosis. It was MS (Multiple Sclerosis). It took 7 years of hell and being gaslit by GP before I got my diagnosis. I burst into tears, not because of the MS but because I could finally put a name to what was happening to me and I wasn't going crazy.
I think similar things like what happened to you happens to so many people. It’s so sad that your doctor ignored you and accused you of such terrible things. I’ve had several doctors ignore me when I told them my symptoms that were actually that of Lyme disease. I was accused of being a pain medicine seeker when I wasn’t asking for pain medicine. I was just trying to find a diagnosis for what I was going through.
Great psychiatrist.....they have a wonderful education in neurology! Sharp as a tack and a LOT sharper than your other doctors!
I began advocating for my heath and my loved ones’ over 20 years ago when my mom was diagnosed with cancer and I saw the way she was treated by several medical professionals. Recently, many of my longtime doctors have started retiring and I’ve struggled finding the right ones for me. Very recently, I began treatment under a doctor who often interrupted me, didn’t seem to take me seriously, and did many of the things that you mentioned in your video. Although it’s cumbersome finding a new doc, I decided to move on and won’t settle until I find the right one.
I’m 67 and have fears and anxiety whenever I have to go to doctor. Seeing the doctor/nurses at this age really has changed from when I was younger.
I'm nearly 86 and feel the same way. I simply do not trust doctors or hospitals. Their answer whenever I bring up something concerning my health is that it is my age and I just have to live with it. I just stopped going to the primary care doctor regularly because going is a big waste of my time and effort. I like my cardiologist a lot, but that primary care doctor does not seem to care about me at all, very cold and impersonal. I go in for lab work and keep taking my medication, another source of worry of what prolonged use of these drugs might be doing to my body and well-being. Have been told I need to keep taking them the rest of my life. It is a worry.
@@loisaustin6200
You Should " T-r-y " a FUNCTIONAL MEDICINE PHYSICIAN. They Do Get
to the ROOT of a Problem and Don't Cover-Up Problem's with Med's. Not Covered by an Insurance Company.
Can't Put a Price ($) on Your Health. Good ☘️ Luck.
The older we get the less they listen to. That has been my experience anyway.
@@Athena752-r6h They treat us like they think we're ridiculous old fools who don't know our own bodies at all. After four doctors and a time span of about 14 years none of them have been able to get my dosage of Levothyroxine right for my Hashimoto's thyroid disease to get my levels where they should be. So tiring.
I 29 and likly had way more doctors in so many more fields then you and... The opposite is true at least in Florida.
Never stay alone in a hospital.
Always have someone present who can oversee anything going into IV’s, or meds by mouth.
Question everything, it may safe your life.
Thank you for being kind, honest and wise. I am a TBI survivor with some lasting effects so I am never ever taken seriously. Pain is invisible but usually not normal. Speak up! Medical PTSD and medical arrogance and lack of empathy/concern are VERY real.
I worked ICU for many years and had a lovely senior citizen as a pt and she had several tests that the MD reviewed with her while I was not in the room so I could not address her questions. I got her paper and we wrote down her questions for the MD. He came in the next day at change of shift. I was outside her room getting report when he walked in to see her. Next words she said after good morning to him, this lovely, woman told him to "park it buddy need we need to chat". He laughed looked at me and said" Ellen was your nurse yesterday wasn't she" pulled up a chair and spent 10 minutes answering her questions.
When you're afraid - in general - to stand up for yourself and you finally find the courage to stand up for yourself and the doctor is so upset their face turns beat red - it's hard to do it again. Much less again and again.
Especially if they turn on you and don’t help you,you end up in a worse position,but it’s true you must still advocate for yourself.
And it's hard to do it when you're tired and stressed and scared and just want to be able to put yourself in competent hands rather than be on the alert all the time for potential errors.
This video is so helpful. I'm looking after my 87-year-old mother. A retired doctor herself who has early-onset dementia. Her memory is poor, and she's in hospital with limited mobility. She is barely able to stand. We are British, and she wants me to be ultra polite to all the doctors, nurses and carers. I am kind and tactful, but her care is poor, and I have needed to push for more pain relief, extra physio, time with Rheumatology, and even the simplest of things - to have her own TV so that she has some mental stimulation. This is so difficult for me, to trust my gut instinct and speak out. Please consider a similar video on how family should deal with medical staff when their loved one is unable to advocate for themselves and deal with concerns about potentially angering the medical team and possible repercussions. Unfortunately, I'm on the point of making a formal complaint. Any thoughts?
Learning to advocate for myself has been a huge benefit. It's tough to find a balance because no matter how polite you are, being persistent can make some doctors think you're anxious and a hypochondriac. I love the way you describe the "nod and smile" because that's definitely been me in the past.
I have had severe medical trauma, from waking up during a surgery and the Dr. Yelling at the anesthesiologist that I was waking up, but he started rubbing my arm and saying he's right there and in recovery the anesthesiologist came in and blamed ME for choosing the wrong anesthesia. I told her I wanted to be knocked out cold and not remember anything so general anesthesia, I also woke from a surgery with my shoulder rotator cuff, tendons and muscles completely severed. I had told them that I had had shoulder surgery 7 months before that surgery and to make sure to please take extra care and keep it secured and be gentle. It was a nightmare.
I’ve woke up twice. They accused me of being a drug addict. I am a registered nurse and definitely not a drug addict. I have fired my last two PCP’s on the first visit. I’m paying for a service and I’m the CEO of my health. Trust me, healthcare in America is third world.
This doctor projects confidence and calmness! My goodness, we need more doctors like this!
For legal reasons all doctor appointments should be recorded and kept on the cloud. All of a sudden they would start to respect their patients a bit more.
I agree with u I've had lot of telephone calls with my dr he has lied even told other services not to help me but denies this trouble is I'm in uk under nhs
No doubt he is a financial nihilist who only cares how many $$$ big pharma has to.offer.@@LONETRUCKER
Leave a terrible review for him on google reviews. I am also in the UK and the first thing they will claim is you are mentally ill. Report him to the GMC.
@@paulreid1369 I'll try that on Google
I reported a consultant to the GMC they investigate their selves.. So no point they all cover each others backs in the NHS. I was left disabled after a hysterectomy - herniated discs left foot drop and also need to have a colostomy because my bowels stopped functioning after surgery. I was told things would get better and I would recover but it never happened. Time passed after having scans - mri's , colonoscopy I was unable to sue them due to statue of limitations! NHS is corrupt to the core !!!
My late-husband was my best advocate. Sent home from ER told I had an acid reflux, back in ER next day with bowel obstruction. Another time went to ER diagnosed with a panic attack, as we were being discharged after I was given medication, husband refused to sign wanted to know all test results before leaving, I had a raging urinary tract infection. I have doctor's now who listen, then give me valuable information I need.
Doctors who are good listeners make a huge difference!
I know you miss him. Be brave on your own behalf, like he was for you. It’s your right, pet.
My husband is my official medical advocate. The fact that he is in the appt. And silently backing up everything I say or reiterating it as my advocate. This makes a huge difference. I’m braver and more assertive and drs listen if a man speaks up for a woman quite a bit more in my experience. I’ve serious conditions so I’m going to do what works. Medical training is something only high stamina people can make it through. Most (not all - I know very empathetic docs too!) lack the ability to imagine what it’s like to deal with illness because they have systems that can be pushed on harder than the avg bear or they would not have made it through. I make notes to take in with me. It helps.
Thank you for this. I’ve had major surgery twice. I ignored my symptoms initially, because I was afraid nobody would take me seriously. I was afraid I would waste the dr’s time and they would scold me. This fear is from my own personal past trauma (not medical trauma). Because I waited, it was much worse. I’m glad I eventually did trust my instincts to go to the ER, because it turns out I was bleeding in my brain from a rare condition I didn’t know I had. It’s a miracle I’m alive.
At this stage, I would like a person on my side to stand in at a surgery and keep an eye on what's happening, with a video. Maybe if we had a set up like this, the bad eggs would soon be weeded out.
I am looking at knee replacement in the future, and my husband is my advocate. If he can't be there with me to observe the surgical team's actions, it's not happening. I absolutely get your point here.
Thank you so much for this video! It’s really encouraging and even therapeutic.
I have plenty of trauma, unfortunately. I am probably gaslit, too.
A doctor made a mistake on my ventilator settings, then blamed it on the on-call doctor. He even ‘apologized,’ in his own words “It isn’t my mistake, but I’m sorry I didn’t catch this on-call doctor’s mistake.”
I have had a nurse push my central line catheter back into the vein. The IV cover came off and the site got contaminated, when using a bedpan. When speaking up about the bandage coming off, the contamination, and the catheter moving a little, the nurse literally pushed the catheter into the vein. Then, she told me it’s nothing. I later developed sepsis and DIC. This is a serious incident, but since then, I’ve had medical staff touch the opening of my central line with their bare hands, have them hold the cap to cover it in their bare hands, pointed it out, got scolded for being paranoid, then developed sepsis. In a similar manner, I have noticed and pointed out such non-aseptic actions, gotten ignored or scolded and developed sepsis 4 or 5 times. I now learned the very early signs of sepsis, I strongly demand and don’t back down when I need a blood culture.
I suppose I should see a psychologist and psychiatrist, but if being alert and distrustful, being mindful and careful about how my IV is treated saves me from a 5th or 6th sepsis due to non-aseptic procedures I can easily spot, I think twice about fixing my iatrogenic psych-issue.
This is only the tip of the iceberg……. I’ve had implanted medical devices break, then have the symptoms blamed on something else. I got lucky, as I moved, got an entirely different team, got operated, to remove the broken device. I’ve had surgical errors like the surgeon forgetting to clamp off an intrathecal catheter. I ended up having 4L of CSF in my abdominal wall (as it wasn’t a shunt, but a catheter for an intrathecal pump (the broken pump which was removed.) I was convinced the headaches, nausea and vomiting were due to a CSF leak. But I just kept drinking a ton of water every day. Only after the abdominal protrusion was clearly pathological and not just serous fluid, I asked for an ultrasound. I spoke to the pathologist who did the ultrasound, who trusted my word and the ultrasound that the fluid wasn’t serous and could be CSF. I was re-operated, in which the catheter was repeatedly clamped close.
I’ve been told I’m not supposed to feel dyspnoea, when my O2 SAT fluctuated between 99 and 83, because it wasn’t continuously low.
Now, I can tell the medical staff a diagnosis and the treatment course. But I can no longer express my symptoms and believe that the staff will take my word that I have that symptom, unless I can back it up with hard numerical evidence.
Despite having been on the receiving end of potentially life threatening errors more than a couple of times, I am okay with errors. We are all human, thus aren’t perfect. The damage isn’t irreversible, as long as they are acknowledged and corrected. However, when I am mistreated and end up in a life threatening situation because somethings I point out are ignored, then I am very disappointed.
I’ve since trusted doctors, but often times ended up in a pretty challenging situation. I’ve been very clearly told to go die elsewhere by my treating physician. I no longer trust a doctor to be on my side or care for patient wellbeing, unfortunately. I do know there are good doctors in the world. I’ve learned from great physicians as a student or early training physician myself. I am sure I have good doctors on my team, too. Still, there’s always that part of me warranting caution. Every time I start to trust a medical staff, I try to tell myself that they aren’t actually compassionate or understand my case. I believe I’m always lucky to learn from the best, but feel that such great doctors won’t be on my treating team. I also realize this thought pattern is pathological. Still, I do have a part of me that also believes that some literally lack knowledge, ethics, passion and time.
I don’t think I will ever blindly trust a medical professional in my life. I know everyone is human. I know I am. I am not perfect, nor do I know everything. I use this as a reason not to trust people, because “no one is perfect and never can be.” Having written this, I can probably try to focus on accepting professional recommendations from my treating physician, because although they may not know everything, they might have experience and knowledge in their specialization.
I’m not sure why I spilled out my soul on TH-cam. I appreciate your welcoming and positive vibe. It’s therapeutic in itself. I imagine you must be a wonderful doctor in practice, too. Your video reminded me to focus on the bright side. Thank you so much for this video!
Love your channel and have learned a lot thanks to you. I have a lot of serious medical stuff going on but find I get ignored because of my age, I'm 75. While I won't go into everything I will hit the highlights of my gripe. Recently I started having blackouts and seizures and TIAs, After a series of falls and a spectacular face plant on a concrete floor I went to the hospital this turned out to be a traumatic subarachnoid hemorrage with seizure.After release I had instructions to give my Primary for on going care which she didn't even read, said not to worry about it as the bleed would heal itself and she didn't need to see me for 6 months. I fired her on the spot. This has produced an attitude in me where I now think of medical providers as the pool boy, if your pool isn't clean fire them and get someone else. I'm tired of hearing that i'm old so go home and live with it or just die and get it over with which is pretty much what is being said just in nicer words. MY INSURANCE IS FABULOUS AND INSTANTLY PROVIDED FULL IN HOME MEDICAL CARE for which I am grateful. Don't be afraid to bail out of a bad situation.
Perhaps it’s because I’m over 60 that I think 75 is young, but it is young and you’re a viable human being deserving of the best care you can get! I like your advice “Don’t be afraid to bail out of a bad situation.“ I’ve been doing that in the last year and it gets easier to do without guilt. Now I’ve recently added in a Naturopathic group and hope I have better treatment.
Good for you. Docs tend to dismiss oldies. Fight, fight fight!
Please, what is your insurance company?
@@whitequeen96 United Health Care Dual Complete. They have various plans to fit just about any situation. Don't know what your needs are but I would give them a call.
My Oncologist tried to get me to take this new bone medicine last year because i have cancer mets in the right hip. The side effects are jaw fracture and hip fracture. You have to get permission from a Dentist to even take it. I pretty much told him i didn't think it made sense to take it to strengthen my hip when hip fracture is one of the side effects.
I agree! That makes no damn sense.
i just dropped in and - what a treasure I found - it was the key word self-gaslighting - one word to open the door to a huge "living"room were i had no access - now i can understand this fog around me. I know (meanwhile) that i had serveral trauma, but this keyword lightens up a real darkroom. ❣🧡💙THANK YOU SO MUCH DR. Anthony Kaveh!! GREETINGS FROM GERMANY 🖤♥💛
As someone who has had a lot of bad experiences with doctors, I must say you have many good points! Not all doctors will listen if you have a concern though, even if you tell them yours gut instinct, they will still go ahead with the thing and say it's ok when it's clearly not ok.
I subbed just because I respect what you're doing here so much. I usually come to TH-cam for entertainment but I am really glad to see a physician, a specialist take his time out to share important messages with the public. Thank you Dr.Kaveh
My brother had hip surgery. The nurse came in to give him meds and happened to mention she was giving him insulin. She assumed he was a diabetic as he was on dialysis. I told her that she was not giving him insulin and we argued for several minutes. I just flatly refused to allow it and sent her to the doctor to verify. Later, I saw her in the hall and she didn’t mention insulin so I asked her and she did say that it had been an error. I wonder what would’ve happened if I hadn’t been there with him.
I met a surgeon for the first time and he was professional. Not there to be your friend but to tell you like it is and why. My gut instinct told me I could trust him with my life.
I could write a book about my disturbing experiences with the medical profession. That is not to say I didn't have some positive experiences that I will always be greatful for. One thing I certainly have noticed, every physician has their own personality, and what might work with one, doesn't mean it will work with the other. Being female and having multi system complaints is a fkng nightmare, makes you question yourself at times. Thank you for talking about this challenging matter, I have ptsd because it's so hard to navigate, I just don't want to see anyone.
Can relate to your "makes you question yourself at times" scenario. Just what I am experiencing and scared.
MR-pr8tp
So sorry you are at that point, but I can assure you - you are sadly far from alone. Please consider getting a therapist, this kills two birds with one stone (at least,lol). A good therapist will help you navigate those personal fears, and help you navigate the system to some degree. I did for the first 13 years of my nightmare, and it really helped keep me from going on tilt. I'm not sure why you are scared, i.e. Because you are afraid of what the diagnosis is, or being heard, or... Many of us have had to navigate this broken system that isn't getting any better, so if you have questions, please feel free to ask. Wish you the best, my thoughts are with you.❤️👍
I've been through the same and I am scared of going to any doctor now.
LimitlessThinker
It's challenging that's for sure and the farther down your insurance goes, so does the support from the medical profession. Since I'm unaware of your health condition, what's been said or not said, I sincerely hope you don't give up, and I also hope you are integrating some holistic practices like meditation (makes a huge difference), yoga, amazing thing about it, doesn't matter how little you can do of the postures, you will still receive benefits, Therapy, a good therapist can really help you navigate your fears, while supporting your next moves. It can be a lonely place when you are traveling down this road, it's vital that you are kind to yourself. 👍🕊
@@bkm2797
Please explain more re yoga being of benefit even when someone can't do all the postures. Thanks.
This was at a teaching hospital in Detroit (Harper Hutzel). Went in for a hysterectomy for cancer a few weeks ago. Even tho I was calm and non-combative.. I was given Versed (relaxant, causes amnesia) in the pre-op room before I'd even signed my consent forms. I don't really remember signing them. This is unlike me.. I read everything. I was so focused on the IV in the back of my hand and how much it hurt and being afraid to pop the vein that it never occurred to me that I was signing consent forms. I don't remember the trip to the OR. I vaguely remember switching to the OR bed because they wouldn't let me stand.. I had to slide over and my gown, blanket and IV's (one in each hand) got tangled. Then the nurse that dosed me in pre-op dosed me again and that's where my memories end until PACU. Even tho I had brought this up to the surgeon at a previous appt.. That I did Not want this to happen to me.. and he'd replied with a smile that they would need consent for that.. The surgeon took this opportunity to obtain verbal consent to let a line of students do pelvic/rectal exams on me while under anesthesia for teaching purposes. tho I'm not sure I was under anesthesia when it happened.. I got to the OR at 8am.. I wasn't put under anesthesia until 9:24am. In my records it says I went from pre-op to OR and then was put under.. no where does it account for the 90 minutes I was amnesic. I have no idea what they did to my body in that time. The nightmares are severe. I sleep at most 2 hours a night. I cry all the time. I have to have Brachytherapy (radiation) treatment for the cancer and when I went on TH-cam to learn what all the treatment entails, every time I saw a male Dr doing the procedure I would start shaking and crying. I don't know why. All I can think is that even tho my mind was unable to make memories in that 90 minutes.. there is a fear response that our bodies do remember. Because that's what it is.. its fear I'm feeling. I had to go to pre-op yesterday with my mother so they could install a chemo port.. she has cancer too. The whole time I was in there I was chewing on the inside of my lower lip to keep from breaking down to the point her Dr, when he came to meet with us, asked why I had blood on my teeth.. I said I bit my tongue. This person that I've become is not who I've always been. I have been a caregiver for my mother for 15 years. She has been thru a lot.. several cancers, a liver transplant. broken hip, broken shoulder ect.. I am a calm and fairly stoic person.. I know how to compartmentalize and deal with trauma at a later time when a life isn't hanging in the balance. and I do deal with it. the person I am now shakes when a Dr walks by.. even the ones I know. I get blindsided by snips of memories from the pre-op and even the most innocuous memories set me off. I rage inside my head.. why didn't I do this differently.. why did I Let them do this. I hate myself. I hate them. If my mother hadn't threatened to not go thru with chemo.. I seriously doubt I could bring myself to do my own cancer treatment and the many pelvic exams that follow. Mentally, I don't remember what they did to me.. but physically... some part of me must remember to keep bringing on such strong fight or flight reactions 3 weeks later. I feel so different.
So true that PATIENTS must trust their guts and self advocate in Hospitals and in surgery. I had to SELF ADVOCATE for 3 was in hospital when everyone told me different stories about what was WRONG with me and why.!! It was exhausting and I felt like I was on a Rollercoaster. I told them to start I had been diagnosed with Hydrocephalus and needed new MRI. Too many cooks!!! That was what it Was!!
It's true, even in medicine, too many cooks spoil the broth. I heard that expression years ago. 😣😣😠😠
i have learned that msot all drs have ZERO clue what they are doing anymore. They are not being taught to fix/cure. they are taught to only guess at a treatment.