It’s three years since I had my first lesson and coming up to two years since I passed my practical test. I put off learning to drive for over 25 years out of fear. My driving instructor used to say that no-one was born with a steering wheel in their hands. To everyone reading this who’s anxious - if I can do it, so can you! Keep learning, keep practicing. It does get easier, much easier. All of the things that you might be stressing about, for example, finding the biting point or roundabouts, I was the same. Now I don’t even consciously think about them, it’s as easy as walking. You can do it!
Yes I agree with you have written - definately not straight forward than it sounds to overcome fear of driving. Be cautious and get help from others. I searched round a few sites and discovered a lot of great advice by searching google on websites like Roys Quick Fix. Good luck and hope you succeed!
Thanks for that. Sometimes I feel like my driving instructors are more concerned with getting through their programme than actually finding solutions. One of them said to me the other day, “ I don’t get why you’re not getting this.” 🤦🏽♂️
The risk is there, true, rational. The risk is very small but worrying about it will increase the risk. You have to accept a small amount of risk when using a car and try and enjoy what it brings to you.
This video is going to help me .. I have completed my 28 lessons still struggling and often confused . When I gear up at 3rd gear I am always thinking that it’s going to be out of control and may be I will hurt someone. Your this video is making me think about my anxiety and my mistakes.
@@goharsadaf4941 Don't worry. I think I completed more than 50 lessons ..I started with automatic cars last year ..then my car got broken and I stopped driving for 10 months, I changed to manual car like a new learner ..I stopped counting the lessons and the money I spent for learning ..got an accident ..stopped driving for two months ..I started some lesson hahahaha funny story ..full of anxiety and I am still going 😂
I nearly quit my driving lessons entirely because I had to go through so many instructors. I thought I was the problem. Turns out I just needed the right one for me, and needed extra practice in order to feel confident in my driving. It's okay it took longer, because I got my license 5 days ago and it was worth all the doubting and fear. Thanks for your amazing videos!
I literally have an instructor who behaves like a complete piece of shit with me. All he cares about is raising his voice at me trying to prove a point against me, even if I literally never respond or argue at all, i actually over-apologize but he literally thinks i don't listen to him even if I commit a small mistake.
@@64scolipede literally my instructor, but today when i was doing reverse park i stalled twice and i was really tired i went to my lesson right after work and i wasnt well focused, he yelled at me and said i would stop and go back home if i stall again so i got mad and he felt guilty becuz i started shaking and had to get out of the car to calm myself down, afterwards he started complimenting me when i did great just to make me feel better (still not feeling better i cried when i came back home, not becuz of him only but becuz my confidence went so down im not satisfied with my parking and driving in general today)
I've taken 3 lessons so far and part of what annoys me and makes me more nervous and anxious is when the instructor nitpick every single mistake, so I feel like I'm being judged and it's not helping
I feel the same. I feel like I have to be a robot behind the wheel or I 'fail'. It doesn't help when you see other drivers making mistakes whereas in the driving test you are meant to drive with top notch precision.
I recently passed my test and one thing that made me a lot less anxious while driving is me noticing other drivers making the same mistakes I did/do. People stalling, not indicating, nearly causing accidents, unable to parallel park in one motion or even struggling to park altogether, this has made me a lot less anxious in general when driving now.
For some reason, ever since I started learning, I completely forgot other people can be worse drivers than even I am, and have difficulty with things I find trivial, like parking. Thanks for pointing the obvious out, it actually helped for once 😅
When I learned, making mistakes caused me anxiety because I dwelled on them. Don’t do this, as it’s par for the course to make errors. What helped me in the end was to focus on not making that error again. Ask your instructor what you could do better, and think about what you could do to avoid the error next time. In other words, embrace your mistakes and learn from them. As Richard said, most people won’t mind you being a little slow. Always take your time and proceed smoothly. Rushing and stressing will lead to stalls and other errors, and it’s these that will eventually cause annoyance. As your confidence grows, look to make progress and one day you’ll find that you’re no longer the one holding everyone up!
That is my problem, I had my first driving lesson a few days ago, and I stalled twice and almost caused an accident. My instructor was very calm with me about it, and was saying that considering it’s my first lesson I’ve done amazing. But I’m a perfectionist, and I feel like I made the worst mistakes. I’ve worried about it so much, that I feel so sick thinking about my next driving lesson in 25 minutes. It’s the worst.
this is so me! Thank you for the comment, I need to start to apply this approach and attitude. I have to realize I am still a "toddler", not a grown-up when it comes to driving :)
I've just recently passed and found myself very anxious to keep practicing, hills and busy roundabouts really give me anxiety and it's hard to build up the confidence on busier roads without just going out and doing it. Getting the hang of pulling away in my new van is taking me a while and has knocked my confidence but I know the more I practice on quieter roads the better I'll get, just have to make myself keep trying.
As a learner I found myself stressed out when I try to rush things and move off as quickly as I can just because the car beside me is ahead of me, but my brother advised me to take my time and stay calm which has helped me become more comfortable moving off at my pace and not hold anyone back while doing it! Also the more I am on the road the more confident I feel in my self. I think it’s about dealing with the pressure rather than trying to learn everything from the start! Just take it step by step, it’s like riding a bike after a while it gets stuck in your mind 🙌 great advice
My driving instructor told me don't worry about other drivers they can look after themselves. You've just got to focus on what your doing. I know it's easier for me to tell you then actually doing it.
How I wish you were my instructor, so encouraging and giving confidence to go ahead. I’m 47 years old and have no experience in driving absolutely but always wanted to learn to drive. With lot of push from my husband and son decided to take up driving classes. But quit after my fifth class when my driving instructor said that I couldn’t even follow simple instructions and kept doing the same mistakes. I was in tears and felt hopeless and felt I’m not fit for anything. After watching your video I’m getting back my confidence and try to take little steps slowly , practice more with my husband. Thank you so much.
Practice in a car park will help alot when learning . I found it was alot more easier to get mistakes out the way . After a while do short journeys on the road and then gradually just go longer distance. Pick a road that looks difficult for example parked cars and narrow road to get used to how the car handles and to get more confidence. Its helped me alot especially learning the basics . Hope this helps
My driving anxiety starts when I go in an area i never drove, especially when i go somewhere and i have no idea the road ahead, right? left? wtf will be ahead , will i have a parking spot etc etc
I’m from Australia. I got lost this morning for 2 hours to get home. I just got the license 1 month ago and never driven to the city before which is really crazy traffic and lanes. My GPS is mad too. I couldn’t find any exit because I was on the highway for at least 80km/h. I kept driving straight until I found somewhere that I could park and restart my GPS. My Dad’s advice is driving water when you feel stressed and lost your mind and tried deep breath. Luckily, I was safe at home now. We just think about that everyone can do it. Why not me? Next time, you will be more confident and calm. All the best and drive safely!
Same! I actually thought that I hate driving in general. Then I realized it's just that the driving lessons are always in some unfamiliar place and that even people with more driving experience can get nervous if they have to drive in new places. So obviously it's even more nerve wrecking for a learner.
Thank you for the great advice. I learned to drive when I was 59 so being older I was particularly anxious. My biggest fear was roundabouts. Not only was I scared entering them but once on I would panic about where to go to exit. One lesson I almost went down a slip road with cars coming the other way! The way I got over this was to look at all the roundabouts for the city I live in on Google Earth. That way I soon got confident about what exits were needed and the correct lane to be in. Have now passed my test and getting on fine.
This is a video I definitely needed to watch! I get nervous as I am thinking "Oh the cars behind me, waiting for me to drive, I am taking too long and they are going to get annoyed". And I always ponder about this particular situation, but I have gotten better, and not just that, but I have learnt so much from all your videos that I have been watching the past 2 months! Thank you! Keep up the great content!
This person is talking straight facts. I've got a driving instructor that's shouting at me for minor mistakes and it's causing me anxiety. I'm only 2 lessons in! I've ditched him thankfully!
I’ve really struggle with anxiety recently during my driving lessons, having only had 13, I returned on my 10th lesson from a 6 month break during this coronavirus, I sweat profusely and struggle to be calm, I explained it as ; “it’s like I’m holding a penny in my butthole for two hours” - Me. That’s how I described my lessons to my partner anyway, I think this comes from intense pressure to succeed having not achieved much, having a daughter on the way and having nobody have any belief in myself, but after watching this video it honestly helped, I had my first driving lesson today where I didn’t sweat PROFUSELY I just ‘sweated’. I just wanted you to know your videos really do make a difference, the timing of you dropping the video couldn’t have been more perfect either, the thing is my instructor is more than happy with my progress, I passed my theory first time, and have only done 22 hours driving upto now, baring the split. To summarise I just want to say your teaching methods, explanation and enthusiasm, really are second to none, please continue doing what you do, and being how you are, take care buddy.
The best part about those people who bully and in-particular who tailgate, is the fact they stay so close to you the whole way, then overtake after sometime only for you then to pass them waiting at a red light somewhere - people just need to learn tailgating doesn't have the effects they want.
Was waiting for a video on this topic. I passed my test a long time ago, 10 years and counting. Before coming to the UK, and even then I haven't driven in nearly the entire time I had my license for. For one simple reason. My instructors (a father&son run "business" out of one of my highschool classrooms) were outright terrible. It's been a long time but try as I might, I can't think of a single good thing to say about those two. Apart from I never hit anybody or anything, but that's as basic as it can get. I never gained an ounce of cofidence during my lessons. Only thing I learned was to carry on driving while being yelled at and called names. But they were cheap, and growing up in eastern Europe, generally the whole family has to come togheter to pay for driving school. So I felt obligated to finish and pass despite every single driving lesson being a terrible ordeal. Well, time goes on, 28 hours (14x 2 hour lessons) my test comes around, I pass, and then comes the realisation that I couldn't care less. Because my experience learning to drive was horrible start to finish, by the time I even made it to my test I H A T E D driving. I drove around with my parents a few times but I never stopped feeling anxious, never enjoyed it. So eventually I just gave up on it altogheter, and haven't given it a second thought until about a month ago. Work commitments made me get a car, and I'm having a refresher lesson with a local driving school to hopefully work off some of the rust. Your videos have been a tremendous help Richard. If the situation wasn't what it is right now, I'd make the trip to Colchester for a lesson with you.
Thank you for your story. It gives somebody like me, who also passed but held back due to anxiety some form of inspiration. Also yes the experience of some terrible instructors created this anxiety This motivates me to pick up driving again and especially for my kid.
@@Nayaana86.. Best of luck to ya mate. It's not easy but you can get there. Just make very sure you have a good instructor this time around. That made all the difference for me.
@@jakubgrac4322 Thank you so much. Yes, I'm on the lookout for a good instructor but I have managed to build up some confidence thanks to experienced drivers in the family sitting with me. Best of luck to you too
I was on the verge of quitting driving because of my anxiety. My instructor didn't help, she would tell me off in such a rude manner. At times she calls me (man oh what are you doing!!. Omg you had a safe gap why didn't you just go! Etc) I wish there were more instructors like yourself with patience it would definitely help us learner drivers!
Rightly said,"Setting a realistic and achievable goal,is the key to success and confidence. Learning something new requires one being out of their comfort zone.I am thankful to my driving instructior for tailoring my lessons in such a way that learning something new was realistic and enjoyable for me at the same time.Difficult topics were gradually introduced.Right approach and attitude enables the rapid learning process. I would like to share that ever since I started my driving journey,I had kept a journal where I would pen down my mistakes and set up reminders to rectify them.Keeping a journal is a stress buster in itself.It has helped me immensity in calming down my nerves and anxiety. Like always your videos and presentation are logical and realistic.Thank you.
Since everyone is sharing their anxiety experience, I'm gonna share mine. From the start, I already felt the pressure to learn to drive and to learn quickly. We bought a car on sale but no one knows how to drive it. So I need to learn quickly and pass my driving test so that we can finally drive the car. I thought at first that it was going to be easy since everyone else seems to be doing it. But boy was I dead wrong. I failed in my driving school test because I forgot how to do reverse parking and would sometimes oversteer. It took a month of weekly practices with a friend before I finally got a hang of things and was able to finally pass. I thought that finally getting a license is a seal of approval that means that I can drive. Again, I was wrong. Within the first 3 months, my car got into four collisions, with the last one costing me a great deal of money. I couldn't properly estimate the width of my car and have even hit the curb in a few occassions. There were also a lot of things that I didn't know how to respond since they were not taught to me like how to deal with foggy windshields and wing mirrors on rainy days and that car batteries get discharged if you dont use the car for a week. All these bad experiences just made my anxiety worse to the point that it turned into a phobia. But someone still had to drive the car when we needed to go somewhere. So now, I really pray a lot before going for a drive in order to calm my fears and allow me to focus on the drive. I really cant say that I've conquered my driving anxiety now. I still try to avoid driving if I can and would always commute long distances rather than drive my car. Hopefully, the day will come where I could finally stop being afraid of it.
I'm sorry to hear that. A lot of what you say is fairly common. Most new drivers can't judge the width of their car, even most experienced drivers can't down to the last few centimeters. Most my pupils go to hit stuff, but I stop them by braking or taking the wheel. The key is to stop if you're not sure, listen to your judgement, don't second guess it. If it looks tight, don't try it. Sounds to me like some good teaching may help you. Car batteries only discharge after a week if they need replacing, a good battery should give you 3 months easy, usually it's a 20% discharge per month for a lead acid car battery. Car batteries usually last 3-6 years in my experience. As for dealing with icy windows these two videos may help: th-cam.com/video/KtBZ-TItVeA/w-d-xo.html th-cam.com/video/ZSlxNpo8j0w/w-d-xo.html Having working air-condition helps a lot. This video may help you with judgement: th-cam.com/video/tIo8Cv7lY0c/w-d-xo.html
@@ConquerDriving Holy smokes. You do reply on every post. Thanks for this. I actually watched your videos on width judgment and on how to stay centered. But I'm still not confident with my judgment so I end up braking or slowing down every now and then when going through narrow roads. I wish I could avoid these roads but they're the only way to and from our house. So i bought these two antenna like objects that I can stick to the corner of my car near the headlights so I can see from the front where the corners are. My car might look funny as a result and other drivers might laugh at me for doing that, but at least I will be a safer driver on the road.
Another excellent video, really important one too. I’m in the position where it’s taking me much longer than I would like and it’s due to anxiety & lack of confidence and fear of failure. In the past I had a very experienced instructor that yelled at me for 20 mins during a lesson which set me back further, I now have an excellent instructor who gives me appropriate feedback & encouragement and has helped me build my confidence. If anyone is reading this or watching this video - you will get there and you will learn to love your driving lessons
My instructor never let me go beyond second gear and use only brake and clutch. At that time I was bored doing the same things over and over and going so slow. Now I realise that was the best thing and I can easily drive fast and in any gear once I learned driving slow with control
I just started driving a manual a little over a month ago, and this has been the BIGGEST problem for me. Your videos have helped SO MUCH, thank you for making these.
@@reddyv1259 i have mine in 2 days as well but best of luck i just keep forgetting to check my mirrors mainly and switching lanes bugs me but ill give an update when its all over
I've been doing a lot better on normal roads but when I get to junctions or roundabouts I basically have a panic attack behind the wheel. Thanks for this vid and practice will make perfect
I am 41 and feel ashamed of going to driving instructors who make fun of me, I had few bad experiences when I was young while learning to drive, so I thought I can never be a good driver and quit for many years. But Now at this age and with a family I feel ashamed of depending on others for conveyance. I regret not learning to drive for so long, but recently I started learning and after few good lessons feel it’s doable and I can drive. Hope I get better at it and make my family happy.
Very accurate video. All the points which you talked about in this video were actually lacking in my training. My instructors never bothered about my anxiety, just shrugging it off as a stupid excuse. So now this is going to be my 4th attempt to learn to drive. It's very difficult to start again from zero everytime. But hopefully I'll be able to find a better teacher this time. 😊
Whenever i feel nervous my left lag shakes for no reason nd am worried about my clutch nd am not new driver btw thanks mate you are one of the best instructor on yt
Coming from driving for 13 years an automatic car to driving a manual one is like starting all over in my case. Even though I used to drive a maual car for 20 years before that. These videos are so helpful! Keep up the good work and thank you for covering the art of driving into so much detail!
Ah loved your vidoe! I have just started learning driving and these things you said were the causes to make me anxious ! Actually my mentor is a bit short tempered but i remind myself that making mistakes allow me to learn! Thanks for your video :)
I learned to drive in 2010 but since I have been watching your video my driving has improved a lot for which I am thankful to you. I am an electrical engineer by profession , I plan to go to the UAE next year for job. I hope that if I ever have the opportunity to go to the UK in my life, I would like to meet you. You are one of the best and honest instructor i really appreciate your work for us. Always be happy !
Great video, im in the same boat one small mistake , gets me really nervous see the anger on my driving instructor then it leads to more mistakes and total disater of a driving lesson. Then im so happy when the driving lesson has finished . but always nervous thining about my next lesson
Thank you for your videos. To hold people up is one of them, but the biggest is the fear of being the cause of an accident. As a passenger I was in two so far and I will be driving with two of my kids in the car. The fear of hurting them makes me very anxious, fearful and its exactly like that. When fear sets in, I am failing to hear my instructor.
I like my instructor but I feel he wants me to able to drive after just 16 hours,, I just can't and I shouldn't feel bad for being slow in learning so thank you for all of these videos
@@porcelainheartxo little update since you replied, took it slower and was able to drive properly after 24ish hours. Passed my test but still a bit anxious on the road itself, you can take your time you'll be fine just like me.
@@ratratratratratratratratra8808 thank you for replying I’ve done about 16 hours so far and just am being so hard on myself cause I’m not perfect and I feel I’m so slow at learning it’s nice to know you passed though I just wanna quit and give up tbh when I make a fault it makes me want to stop feel like my driving instructor wants me to be the best and I feel like I can’t keep up
Anxiety does the craziest things to me, it can make you literally mess up in areas or situations that you know so well and are so easy, or it does me. I know what to do at a situation, get a little anxiety and do the complete opposite because I focus so hard on staying not nervous rather than what I am actually doing with the driving lol. This video was good.
Richard, you're just the best. I've been driving now for almost 20 years and still have a slight phobia about going up hill from stop position and I get very nervous and my knee starts shaking, I do over-come it but it just does not go away
@@TheOpus480 it’s been 9 months after I commented this and luckily it’s gotten much better! I still have my moments but after a few deep breaths I’ve gotten it. In fact I passed my test this week! You’ll get better with time too so don’t stress x
You are right about holding people. I was about to take a left(we give priority to oncoming cars when turning left) and my instructor was shouting at me for being slow and holding the following cars. I panicked and overlooked an oncoming car. I was quick enough to break but the experience left me very shaken.
I've been watching your videos for a little over a year. I've been driving automatics here in the States since the beginning but been always curious about driving manuals. I've driven them a little when renting cars in France but in the end, the hills got the best of me and had to pay more money for automatics - ouch! To make a long story short, less than a week ago I purchased a new Mustang and it's a manual (I specifically sought it out). Everything you discussed in your videos I've applied. In the end, I still have to learn my car and most importantly, disregard those around me on the road. I live in NY where it's the traffic mecca of the world but I had to push aside the anxiety and move forward (pun intended) with confidence. Just want to say thank you for the videos, for teaching an old bloke new tricks. You're very CLEAR, to the point, and super well informed and it shows in all of your videos. Keep up the great work! Cheers!
The important thing to remember about fear or anxiety is that it is a survival mechanism. What does fear do? It raises our awareness. As our ancestors might have done, treading carefully through the jungle being alert was the best mindset for survival when looking out for any predators that might be around you. Fear is (unfortunately) necessary and it's the first step to making you conscientious. That's really the first test of being a good driver (IMO). But too much fear will cripple you and have the opposite effect of making you less aware of your surroundings, it will make you imagine things and think up all kinds of possibilities which will distract you from the task at hand, which is to calmly observe what is going on around you on the road and respond in the appropriate manner (or it might put you off driving altogether, which isn't logical, statistically speaking in terms of safety). I remember the sensation of fear when I first started learning to drive (2002). In one of my first few lessons, the idea suddenly entered my head that I was sitting in this 1.5 ton metal box on wheels in which I had complete control over, which could squish a person flat and kill me too if I was really stupid. But then later I calmed down and realised that if all these people on the roads had learned to do it, then it wasn't beyond reason that I could learn to do it as well. The other thing I would say about going slowly if anyone's worried about it is when was the last time you saw a pile up outside Tesco's from a bunch of cars doing 5mph? It just doesn't happen. The real danger (so I heard) is within the first couple of years of passing your test when you're most likely to have an accident. Because after you've passed your test you gain more experience, you then get more confident, go faster and THAT'S where the danger comes in (going faster than you are able to react). When I learned this, I drove around for the first two years in a little anxiety. But an accident never happened and I've always tried to keep my head ever since, and thankfully I haven't had an accident or even a scratch.
I get anxious when I drive and pray to God whenever I drive. I had driven for 2 years until I hit a car in a carpark (it's my colleague's car and luckily, she wasn't in the car...of course, I paid for the damage). Since then I give myself lots of excuses and stop driving for over 6 years now...In my mind, I don't see the need to drive again and enjoy myself being a passenger. But in 2022, I suddenly realise that I should pick up driving as a way to challenge myself and step out of my comfort zone. Your video encourages me a lot because you make me realise that it's okay to feel anxious. All I need is to take my time to learn, to have more positive self-talk and arouse my interest in driving until I become a confident driver one day. It’s very hard to find someone likes you who understand how I feel. Your videos mean so much to me and help me to regain my confidence in driving. Hope you can keep posting videos so I can keep learning! Thank you!
I just want you to let you know that I drove for 30 mins around the suburb where I lived today!!! I had butterflies in my stomach before I did it. Hubby said I did well but when I turned left, I was a bit close to the curb and when I parked my car, my car was a bit far from the curb...so I need to practise more. Anyway, I felt so good for driving again and very thankful to you!
I’m very anxious now after I’ve changed 2 instructors in 6 months First I’ve done 30 hours and didn’t learn anything just made me feel guilty that I’m not learning quick and I will never be ready for next level and second one I’ve aid £40 per hour and told me to watch TH-cam videos that will make me a better student while I’m on the road with him and told him that I’m working 12 hours Monday to friday and sometimes don’t have time but we just didn’t work together anymore ! Now I have my test booked in 2 months and don’t have any instructor fingers crossed will find a instructor this week !all the best to all and be safe
Great video, I am an older driver, I failed 2 tests 10 years ago and have returned for another bite at the cherry. I suffer with nerves, but they are more "what might happen, not what is happening". My instructor great and very patient indeed. (My last instructor used to shout or raise his voice a lot which made me worse) Keep up the videos, they are really good and help PS: looking at Collingwood via the link :) thanks for that
Thank you for this it helps be a bit calmer had my 2nd lesson today had a difficult time at the course but a fair bit better on the actual road due to focus and staying calm. But driving on the schools course made me nervous. Although the instructor is a bit frustrated but thankfully did not yell but corrected and explained what I did wrong.
I wish I'd had a nice instructor like you! My last one was horrendous. He would shout at me any time I made a mistake, shout at me for being too fast and for being too slow, shout at me for stalling, even shout at me for not knowing the answer to his questions. He would make me park up 15 mins before the end of my lesson and shout at me for that whole time, telling me I was rubbish and that I wasn't learning fast enough (after 6 hours of lessons). I started to dread the lessons and gave up. Now it's been a year and a half and I've finally plucked up the courage to book a new instructor, but the whole experience damaged my confidence and I feel really anxious. I hope my next one will be nice.
@@gingerbrotato hopefully you can feel more confident soon, get back into driving gradually perhaps at lower speeds, maybe practice getting your confidence back in a car park even. Good luck with everything :)
You are a fantastic instructor. If only all instructors were like you. I am so grateful for these videos. I am still so anxious about driving on the motorway.
I feel a little anxiety 15 minutes before I'm about to drive, but that usually goes away once I'm behind the wheel. Generally my experience with other drivers have been positive. No honking, yelling or rude gestures. I've had people drive close to me, but I still take my time. It happens that I make mistakes and when trying to correct them I might make new mistakes. My driving instructor has a good understanding of how far he can push my learning, and while I'm driving we talk about where I might improve. I might even comment on what I just did to get instant feedback. Most of the times we go around and repeat the exercise once or twice more till I got it. What helps me when feeling anxious of any part of driving is being vocal about it.
Acceptance of the learning curve minimising anxiety for me. Enjoying the good things I do like a nice corner or noticing a hazard early on helps build confidence and effective muscle memory.
Wearing a mask during lessons because of Covid19 can also help reduce anxiety and increase confidence since it maintains anonymity, especially if you are holding people up. Another great video
I have been learning on and off since 2007 and I STILL can't wrap my head around it, I don't want to give up because driving offers you so much opportunity and will be beneficial for work, some of my relatives think I should just give up, some days I have great days where I feel really confident and do well, other days I'm even too scared to get behind the wheel, my husband teaches me because I've been through so many instructors and now can't afford another and I'm already on his insurance, the problem is obviously me, my husband is a good driver and ridiculously patient with me and tells me when I do well but also tells me where I go wrong so I don't know what my problem is, I really don't want to quit but I just don't know how I'm going to get this and I'm hoping miraculously someone will know the answer to my problem. xx
Thank you for putting this video up for us learner drivers, Richard! I've got driving experience (more or less 10 years and used to very busy roads) prior to me and my wife moving to the UK. However, due to the fact that the UK is right-hand drive, and of course having different road rules, I've felt the anxiety you've mentioned here. Thankfully, I've got a very good driving instructor, who's very calm and follows the positive feedback loop. I feel like instructors needs to have lessons in Phychology to understand the root cause of this type of anxiety their students deals with every lessons. You sir are a gem of an instructor! Thank you, Ash
I've been driving for over a year, I still feel anxious sometimes - usually when passing cars that are parked in the road, trying not to hit their mirrors, etc.
I passed my driving test last Thursday and I’m here to get some reassurance. My inexperience makes me a bit nervous. Thank you for all the helpful videos.
How I wish you can come to South Africa to help me😩 I'm honestly struggling and watching your videos always make me feel better. I just realised that I have anxiety and my driving instructor is making me more anxious with constantly comparing me to other learners🤦🏽♀️ I know you posted this 2 years ago, but I just wanted to say thank you for the videos again, they truly are helping me❤
I am relieved that you talked about someone having anxiety already on top of driving anxiety.It will take much much long.Two steps forward 3 back...one step forward ok...and repeat...that is what it is like.
I love that you are covering the psychology of anxiety. This is so helpful. I am learning to drive in my 40's and i am more anxious now than I was when I first started learning age 17. The positive feedback loop really works doesn't it? I like what yoh are saying about setting realistic goals as well. Really good advice 🤩
Love watching your vids, im 47 always been scared of driving, decided this year to work though it, 8 lessons in now and loving it, but i had so much anxiety about it, driving, distances, other drivers, and even if something goes wrong now i think im fairly good at moving past it, theory in 2 weeks and driving instructor said to me today i could be on way to taking test in new year the way im progressing
I had to change my instructor because of that! Instead of gaining confidence I was getting even worst that I’ll do the stupidest mistake. He was a shouter and ngl sometimes I was scared of him. But then swapped instructors and wow really I’m shocked the way you can change when you have someone that explain things correctly and don’t get mad at mistakes.
Same here. My driving instructor seems to be treating me like an experienced driver and expects me to keep up with the traffic/ at the top of the speed limit all the time. Really fed up with it now
@@abbiecampfield8955 no I don't have any time before my test. I've already had to rearrange my test previously because my first instructor was terrible. Makes me feel like I have an issue with myself or something 🤷🏻♀️
With in 45 mins of my first lesson I was took on really busy dual carriage ways and multi lane round abouts my anxiety was through the roof and all my instructor said was you got this it’s easy... immediately changed driving schools
It’s currently 3am. Technically, my test is tomorrow. I’m really pooping it. From covid esc, I’ve worked on this so hard, for so long. The thought of trying to get another test too, is so daunting. Wish me luck. I’m manifesting that I’m capable of what I need to do for just. That. 45. Minutes. ❤️
I’m having severe anxiety about driving in dual carriage ways. Other than that I got better in my driving. Hope dual carriage way will not come to my exam. Thank you all for your videos Richard.
I've just failed my driving test for the third time. I made a lot of silly little mistakes because I was so nervous. I was so worried about looking in my mirrors that my positioning was terrible
I'm sorry to hear that. Try not to look in the mirrors too much when driving, I recommend checking them quickly several times when necessary. I wish you the best of luck with your next test.
I think my anxiety comes from my last two failure tests, used to be too confident in driving, after failling in two exams. I always feel nervous in driving. Why it's so difficult to pass the driving test in UK. :(
Thanks a lot, your videos taught me in few minutes what my instructor could not teach in 5 months, Finally passed or better say overcame failure in third attempt after watching your videos.
Aww. I passed my test like 7 years ago but just got a car recently, so I'm nervous about driving alone. Also I've noticed signs and road markings are not always clear, like what if I turn right when I'm not supposed to or something and cause an accident. I have a couple of refresher lessons booked, so that's a start. On my own, I'll start with circling the block 😭 I'm sure music will help...
My sister gives me anxiety, we took turns practicing and she started shouting at me and demotivating me for the same mistakes she made in her turn and for which I didn’t put any pressure on her at all, wish I could practice with some nice and patient person and not a witch 😒
I have my test Friday. Very nervous of joining dual carriage way..but that really is my only fear. Watching your videos everyday to try and build my confidence. I loved what you said on your dual carriage way vid about 9 times out of ten people will help me get on, but there is always that one idiot who doesnt care and will make it hard. Thank you for that it really helped
I’m really struggling with test anxiety. I’m fine driving the majority of the time but once I’m in the test the pressure gets to me, I panic and then I fail. My third test is coming up later this year and I’m so nervous.
I wanted to thank you for doing all these amazing videos. Driving is becoming more pleasurable. I was trying to find out why my brain is protecting me so much by giving a lot of anxiety. Turned out, it was the lost control, i was afraid of. I am fixing it now, hopefully will do better soon.
I’m currently having driving lessons, and I’m facing the issue where when I put the clutch down and find the biting point my left leg shakes quite bad. I’ve been told it’s nerves and although I don’t feel nervous, I am.
Thank you for your videos they helped me a lot i passed today with 0 minors for the first time! i can’t believe it i am so happyyyyyy! good luck everyone!
I get more comfortable each time out but junctions can still make me anxious, especially if there's a traffic light and someone is behind me. Because I drove automatics for so long before learning to drive a manual, my instinct is to hit the throttle when I want to get moving quickly. That can play havoc with my clutch control, and suddenly I'm holding everyone up. Just takes practice and experience.
It’s three years since I had my first lesson and coming up to two years since I passed my practical test. I put off learning to drive for over 25 years out of fear. My driving instructor used to say that no-one was born with a steering wheel in their hands.
To everyone reading this who’s anxious - if I can do it, so can you! Keep learning, keep practicing. It does get easier, much easier. All of the things that you might be stressing about, for example, finding the biting point or roundabouts, I was the same. Now I don’t even consciously think about them, it’s as easy as walking. You can do it!
Thanks for your advice
Thanks! I have my second lesson tomorrow. I get so anxious, especially with having to wear a mask at the moment
Yes I agree with you have written - definately not straight forward than it sounds to overcome fear of driving.
Be cautious and get help from others. I searched round a few sites and discovered a lot of great advice by searching google on websites like Roys Quick Fix. Good luck and hope you succeed!
Thanks for that. Sometimes I feel like my driving instructors are more concerned with getting through their programme than actually finding solutions. One of them said to me the other day, “ I don’t get why you’re not getting this.” 🤦🏽♂️
Thanks, Sir. Much appreciated!
I'm afraid of crashing and damaging property/hurting someone and it being my fault.
The risk is there, true, rational. The risk is very small but worrying about it will increase the risk. You have to accept a small amount of risk when using a car and try and enjoy what it brings to you.
This video is going to help me .. I have completed my 28 lessons still struggling and often confused . When I gear up at 3rd gear I am always thinking that it’s going to be out of control and may be I will hurt someone. Your this video is making me think about my anxiety and my mistakes.
@@goharsadaf4941 Don't worry. I think I completed more than 50 lessons ..I started with automatic cars last year ..then my car got broken and I stopped driving for 10 months, I changed to manual car like a new learner ..I stopped counting the lessons and the money I spent for learning ..got an accident ..stopped driving for two months ..I started some lesson hahahaha funny story ..full of anxiety and I am still going 😂
This is my bigger fear ,I don't have a lot of money and not very strong to defend myself when people want to beat me up
@@pendekarlapok5731 😂😂😂
I think most of the anxiety comes from the way learners are treated, I honestly feel a lot more comfortable driving without L plates on.
What I hate the most is when people overtake when you are going the limit.
On the contrary people are normally more patient with L plates on if you're slow. But not everyone.
Just passed last week and driving with no l plates is so much better
@@jamesdilan3250 or when they get right up your rear when you're clearly at the speed limit.
@@jamesdilan3250 and look at you like you were doing wrong !!
It’s true that other road users make our anxiety worse, they have no patience at all!!
Don't worry it's not you. You just have to be assured that you are doing it properly and safely.
I got pulled out dangerously 3 times in my last lesson. People are so impatient and I was going the 30 speed limit.
I nearly quit my driving lessons entirely because I had to go through so many instructors. I thought I was the problem. Turns out I just needed the right one for me, and needed extra practice in order to feel confident in my driving. It's okay it took longer, because I got my license 5 days ago and it was worth all the doubting and fear. Thanks for your amazing videos!
Congratulations on passing and well done for keeping at it.
I literally have an instructor who behaves like a complete piece of shit with me. All he cares about is raising his voice at me trying to prove a point against me, even if I literally never respond or argue at all, i actually over-apologize but he literally thinks i don't listen to him even if I commit a small mistake.
@@64scolipede literally my instructor, but today when i was doing reverse park i stalled twice and i was really tired i went to my lesson right after work and i wasnt well focused, he yelled at me and said i would stop and go back home if i stall again so i got mad and he felt guilty becuz i started shaking and had to get out of the car to calm myself down, afterwards he started complimenting me when i did great just to make me feel better (still not feeling better i cried when i came back home, not becuz of him only but becuz my confidence went so down im not satisfied with my parking and driving in general today)
@@lenalee5516 get a new instructor, it’s not worth it
i also just pick up driving and always tremble. if only the instructors are more kind
This man is precious and must be protected at all costs.
*Slows down*
Conquer driving: "It's okay."
My instructor: "God damnit, you drive like an old man."
😂
MoonBoom v2.0 😂😂😂😂😂
Hahaha true
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Your instructor and every dad in the world 😂
I want this guy as my driving instructor he sounds amazing so caring to his customers
The best way is to think of what's ahead and ignore what's behind you.
Good advice, but you still need to consider what's behind when changing your speed or direction.
Passed my driving test second time with only 4 minors, I finally ‘conquered’ my driving, thanks to you Richard
I've taken 3 lessons so far and part of what annoys me and makes me more nervous and anxious is when the instructor nitpick every single mistake, so I feel like I'm being judged and it's not helping
That can happen, perhaps tell your instructor how you feel.
I feel the same. I feel like I have to be a robot behind the wheel or I 'fail'. It doesn't help when you see other drivers making mistakes whereas in the driving test you are meant to drive with top notch precision.
Yeah that's what all of my previous instructors and my dad did!
So true bro
That's so true!
I recently passed my test and one thing that made me a lot less anxious while driving is me noticing other drivers making the same mistakes I did/do. People stalling, not indicating, nearly causing accidents, unable to parallel park in one motion or even struggling to park altogether, this has made me a lot less anxious in general when driving now.
For some reason, ever since I started learning, I completely forgot other people can be worse drivers than even I am, and have difficulty with things I find trivial, like parking.
Thanks for pointing the obvious out, it actually helped for once 😅
When I learned, making mistakes caused me anxiety because I dwelled on them. Don’t do this, as it’s par for the course to make errors. What helped me in the end was to focus on not making that error again. Ask your instructor what you could do better, and think about what you could do to avoid the error next time. In other words, embrace your mistakes and learn from them.
As Richard said, most people won’t mind you being a little slow. Always take your time and proceed smoothly. Rushing and stressing will lead to stalls and other errors, and it’s these that will eventually cause annoyance. As your confidence grows, look to make progress and one day you’ll find that you’re no longer the one holding everyone up!
This would be an issue for me. I have a huge need for perfection in all I do so any little error which is inevitable would bother me.
That is my problem, I had my first driving lesson a few days ago, and I stalled twice and almost caused an accident. My instructor was very calm with me about it, and was saying that considering it’s my first lesson I’ve done amazing. But I’m a perfectionist, and I feel like I made the worst mistakes. I’ve worried about it so much, that I feel so sick thinking about my next driving lesson in 25 minutes. It’s the worst.
this is so me! Thank you for the comment, I need to start to apply this approach and attitude. I have to realize I am still a "toddler", not a grown-up when it comes to driving :)
I've just recently passed and found myself very anxious to keep practicing, hills and busy roundabouts really give me anxiety and it's hard to build up the confidence on busier roads without just going out and doing it. Getting the hang of pulling away in my new van is taking me a while and has knocked my confidence but I know the more I practice on quieter roads the better I'll get, just have to make myself keep trying.
That's what you need, quiet roads, lots of practise. Try not to think about overs.
Go out late at night or when the traffic's died down and slowly build it up, if you haven't already.
As a learner I found myself stressed out when I try to rush things and move off as quickly as I can just because the car beside me is ahead of me, but my brother advised me to take my time and stay calm which has helped me become more comfortable moving off at my pace and not hold anyone back while doing it! Also the more I am on the road the more confident I feel in my self. I think it’s about dealing with the pressure rather than trying to learn everything from the start! Just take it step by step, it’s like riding a bike after a while it gets stuck in your mind 🙌 great advice
My driving instructor told me don't worry about other drivers they can look after themselves. You've just got to focus on what your doing. I know it's easier for me to tell you then actually doing it.
How I wish you were my instructor, so encouraging and giving confidence to go ahead. I’m 47 years old and have no experience in driving absolutely but always wanted to learn to drive. With lot of push from my husband and son decided to take up driving classes. But quit after my fifth class when my driving instructor said that I couldn’t even follow simple instructions and kept doing the same mistakes. I was in tears and felt hopeless and felt I’m not fit for anything.
After watching your video I’m getting back my confidence and try to take little steps slowly , practice more with my husband. Thank you so much.
Practice in a car park will help alot when learning . I found it was alot more easier to get mistakes out the way . After a while do short journeys on the road and then gradually just go longer distance. Pick a road that looks difficult for example parked cars and narrow road to get used to how the car handles and to get more confidence. Its helped me alot especially learning the basics . Hope this helps
My driving anxiety starts when I go in an area i never drove, especially when i go somewhere and i have no idea the road ahead, right? left? wtf will be ahead , will i have a parking spot etc etc
Use Google maps before your journey, helps alot as you have an idea beforehand of what the road layout is.
I know the feeling... It gets worse with music in the background. This video inspires me😊we will get there.
I’m from Australia. I got lost this morning for 2 hours to get home. I just got the license 1 month ago and never driven to the city before which is really crazy traffic and lanes. My GPS is mad too. I couldn’t find any exit because I was on the highway for at least 80km/h. I kept driving straight until I found somewhere that I could park and restart my GPS. My Dad’s advice is driving water when you feel stressed and lost your mind and tried deep breath. Luckily, I was safe at home now. We just think about that everyone can do it. Why not me? Next time, you will be more confident and calm. All the best and drive safely!
Same! I actually thought that I hate driving in general. Then I realized it's just that the driving lessons are always in some unfamiliar place and that even people with more driving experience can get nervous if they have to drive in new places. So obviously it's even more nerve wrecking for a learner.
I'm the same. I passed 7 years ago and my parking is still hit and miss too.
Thank you for the great advice. I learned to drive when I was 59 so being older I was particularly anxious. My biggest fear was roundabouts. Not only was I scared entering them but once on I would panic about where to go to exit. One lesson I almost went down a slip road with cars coming the other way! The way I got over this was to look at all the roundabouts for the city I live in on Google Earth. That way I soon got confident about what exits were needed and the correct lane to be in. Have now passed my test and getting on fine.
When you know the area is certainly makes things easier. I'm happy to hear you passed.
This is a video I definitely needed to watch! I get nervous as I am thinking "Oh the cars behind me, waiting for me to drive, I am taking too long and they are going to get annoyed". And I always ponder about this particular situation, but I have gotten better, and not just that, but I have learnt so much from all your videos that I have been watching the past 2 months!
Thank you!
Keep up the great content!
This person is talking straight facts. I've got a driving instructor that's shouting at me for minor mistakes and it's causing me anxiety. I'm only 2 lessons in! I've ditched him thankfully!
Consider a female instructor, they have great patience.
@@krrichards77 yeah I should . Thanks for the advice.
I’ve really struggle with anxiety recently during my driving lessons, having only had 13, I returned on my 10th lesson from a 6 month break during this coronavirus, I sweat profusely and struggle to be calm, I explained it as ; “it’s like I’m holding a penny in my butthole for two hours” - Me. That’s how I described my lessons to my partner anyway, I think this comes from intense pressure to succeed having not achieved much, having a daughter on the way and having nobody have any belief in myself, but after watching this video it honestly helped, I had my first driving lesson today where I didn’t sweat PROFUSELY I just ‘sweated’. I just wanted you to know your videos really do make a difference, the timing of you dropping the video couldn’t have been more perfect either, the thing is my instructor is more than happy with my progress, I passed my theory first time, and have only done 22 hours driving upto now, baring the split.
To summarise I just want to say your teaching methods, explanation and enthusiasm, really are second to none, please continue doing what you do, and being how you are, take care buddy.
Thank you, many others are in the same boat as you. Take your time, don't worry about the hours, focus on your car and try to enjoy it.
The best part about those people who bully and in-particular who tailgate, is the fact they stay so close to you the whole way, then overtake after sometime only for you then to pass them waiting at a red light somewhere - people just need to learn tailgating doesn't have the effects they want.
Agreed.
Very good vid Rich! I'm a new driver with license and this anxiety is still something I majorly struggle with. So thank you!
Came here to say the same!
Same here...
Same here. Don’t no what to do. Always want someone to seat beside me and I’m a new driver with licence
I'm trying to learn how to drive my husband didn't support me I lost my confidence
Was waiting for a video on this topic. I passed my test a long time ago, 10 years and counting. Before coming to the UK, and even then I haven't driven in nearly the entire time I had my license for. For one simple reason. My instructors (a father&son run "business" out of one of my highschool classrooms) were outright terrible. It's been a long time but try as I might, I can't think of a single good thing to say about those two. Apart from I never hit anybody or anything, but that's as basic as it can get. I never gained an ounce of cofidence during my lessons. Only thing I learned was to carry on driving while being yelled at and called names. But they were cheap, and growing up in eastern Europe, generally the whole family has to come togheter to pay for driving school. So I felt obligated to finish and pass despite every single driving lesson being a terrible ordeal. Well, time goes on, 28 hours (14x 2 hour lessons) my test comes around, I pass, and then comes the realisation that I couldn't care less. Because my experience learning to drive was horrible start to finish, by the time I even made it to my test I H A T E D driving. I drove around with my parents a few times but I never stopped feeling anxious, never enjoyed it. So eventually I just gave up on it altogheter, and haven't given it a second thought until about a month ago. Work commitments made me get a car, and I'm having a refresher lesson with a local driving school to hopefully work off some of the rust.
Your videos have been a tremendous help Richard. If the situation wasn't what it is right now, I'd make the trip to Colchester for a lesson with you.
The same story here.. wonder if we had the same instructor !? 🤣
@@PAV730 hell maybe. Surname was Chrenko used to teach in topolcany where I’m originally from. That ring any bells?
Thank you for your story. It gives somebody like me, who also passed but held back due to anxiety some form of inspiration. Also yes the experience of some terrible instructors created this anxiety This motivates me to pick up driving again and especially for my kid.
@@Nayaana86.. Best of luck to ya mate. It's not easy but you can get there. Just make very sure you have a good instructor this time around. That made all the difference for me.
@@jakubgrac4322 Thank you so much. Yes, I'm on the lookout for a good instructor but I have managed to build up some confidence thanks to experienced drivers in the family sitting with me. Best of luck to you too
I was on the verge of quitting driving because of my anxiety. My instructor didn't help, she would tell me off in such a rude manner. At times she calls me (man oh what are you doing!!. Omg you had a safe gap why didn't you just go! Etc) I wish there were more instructors like yourself with patience it would definitely help us learner drivers!
I hope you find your driving confidence soon. Keep trying at your own pace.
Rightly said,"Setting a realistic and achievable goal,is the key to success and confidence. Learning something new requires one being out of their comfort zone.I am thankful to my driving instructior for tailoring my lessons in such a way that learning something new was realistic and enjoyable for me at the same time.Difficult topics were gradually introduced.Right approach and attitude enables the rapid learning process.
I would like to share that ever since I started my driving journey,I had kept a journal where I would pen down my mistakes and set up reminders to rectify them.Keeping a journal is a stress buster in itself.It has helped me immensity in calming down my nerves and anxiety.
Like always your videos and presentation are logical and realistic.Thank you.
Thank you
Since everyone is sharing their anxiety experience, I'm gonna share mine. From the start, I already felt the pressure to learn to drive and to learn quickly. We bought a car on sale but no one knows how to drive it. So I need to learn quickly and pass my driving test so that we can finally drive the car. I thought at first that it was going to be easy since everyone else seems to be doing it. But boy was I dead wrong.
I failed in my driving school test because I forgot how to do reverse parking and would sometimes oversteer. It took a month of weekly practices with a friend before I finally got a hang of things and was able to finally pass.
I thought that finally getting a license is a seal of approval that means that I can drive. Again, I was wrong. Within the first 3 months, my car got into four collisions, with the last one costing me a great deal of money. I couldn't properly estimate the width of my car and have even hit the curb in a few occassions. There were also a lot of things that I didn't know how to respond since they were not taught to me like how to deal with foggy windshields and wing mirrors on rainy days and that car batteries get discharged if you dont use the car for a week.
All these bad experiences just made my anxiety worse to the point that it turned into a phobia. But someone still had to drive the car when we needed to go somewhere. So now, I really pray a lot before going for a drive in order to calm my fears and allow me to focus on the drive.
I really cant say that I've conquered my driving anxiety now. I still try to avoid driving if I can and would always commute long distances rather than drive my car. Hopefully, the day will come where I could finally stop being afraid of it.
I'm sorry to hear that. A lot of what you say is fairly common. Most new drivers can't judge the width of their car, even most experienced drivers can't down to the last few centimeters. Most my pupils go to hit stuff, but I stop them by braking or taking the wheel. The key is to stop if you're not sure, listen to your judgement, don't second guess it. If it looks tight, don't try it. Sounds to me like some good teaching may help you. Car batteries only discharge after a week if they need replacing, a good battery should give you 3 months easy, usually it's a 20% discharge per month for a lead acid car battery. Car batteries usually last 3-6 years in my experience. As for dealing with icy windows these two videos may help: th-cam.com/video/KtBZ-TItVeA/w-d-xo.html
th-cam.com/video/ZSlxNpo8j0w/w-d-xo.html
Having working air-condition helps a lot.
This video may help you with judgement: th-cam.com/video/tIo8Cv7lY0c/w-d-xo.html
@@ConquerDriving Holy smokes. You do reply on every post. Thanks for this. I actually watched your videos on width judgment and on how to stay centered. But I'm still not confident with my judgment so I end up braking or slowing down every now and then when going through narrow roads. I wish I could avoid these roads but they're the only way to and from our house. So i bought these two antenna like objects that I can stick to the corner of my car near the headlights so I can see from the front where the corners are. My car might look funny as a result and other drivers might laugh at me for doing that, but at least I will be a safer driver on the road.
I think my teacher need to see this
Mine's a fear of accidents, I have lost quite a few of close family and friends to this.
I'm very sorry to hear that.
Another excellent video, really important one too. I’m in the position where it’s taking me much longer than I would like and it’s due to anxiety & lack of confidence and fear of failure. In the past I had a very experienced instructor that yelled at me for 20 mins during a lesson which set me back further, I now have an excellent instructor who gives me appropriate feedback & encouragement and has helped me build my confidence. If anyone is reading this or watching this video - you will get there and you will learn to love your driving lessons
Good advice!
My instructor never let me go beyond second gear and use only brake and clutch. At that time I was bored doing the same things over and over and going so slow. Now I realise that was the best thing and I can easily drive fast and in any gear once I learned driving slow with control
I just started driving a manual a little over a month ago, and this has been the BIGGEST problem for me. Your videos have helped SO MUCH, thank you for making these.
You're welcome ☺
Same problem for me. How are your nerves now?
i got the practical exam coming up wish me luck im honestly feeling a bit nervous
Best of luck u got this!
@@nareshthevathas5456 Thank you
All the best. Even I have exam in two days.
@@reddyv1259 i have mine in 2 days as well but best of luck i just keep forgetting to check my mirrors mainly and switching lanes bugs me but ill give an update when its all over
Good luck 🤞 ☺️
I've been doing a lot better on normal roads but when I get to junctions or roundabouts I basically have a panic attack behind the wheel. Thanks for this vid and practice will make perfect
I am 41 and feel ashamed of going to driving instructors who make fun of me, I had few bad experiences when I was young while learning to drive, so I thought I can never be a good driver and quit for many years. But Now at this age and with a family I feel ashamed of depending on others for conveyance. I regret not learning to drive for so long, but recently I started learning and after few good lessons feel it’s doable and I can drive. Hope I get better at it and make my family happy.
You got this 🎉
People are so cruel how disgusting what you went through paying for it to
Very accurate video. All the points which you talked about in this video were actually lacking in my training. My instructors never bothered about my anxiety, just shrugging it off as a stupid excuse. So now this is going to be my 4th attempt to learn to drive. It's very difficult to start again from zero everytime. But hopefully I'll be able to find a better teacher this time. 😊
Whenever i feel nervous my left lag shakes for no reason nd am worried about my clutch nd am not new driver btw thanks mate you are one of the best instructor on yt
Very common, it will get stable with time. I have a video on foot position that may help.
Coming from driving for 13 years an automatic car to driving a manual one is like starting all over in my case. Even though I used to drive a maual car for 20 years before that. These videos are so helpful! Keep up the good work and thank you for covering the art of driving into so much detail!
It gets worse if you have an instructor who keeps shouting. 😢
Ah loved your vidoe! I have just started learning driving and these things you said were the causes to make me anxious ! Actually my mentor is a bit short tempered but i remind myself that making mistakes allow me to learn!
Thanks for your video :)
I learned to drive in 2010 but since I have been watching your video my driving has improved a lot for which I am thankful to you. I am an electrical engineer by profession , I plan to go to the UAE next year for job.
I hope that if I ever have the opportunity to go to the UK in my life, I would like to meet you.
You are one of the best and honest instructor i really appreciate your work for us. Always be happy !
Great video, im in the same boat one small mistake , gets me really nervous see the anger on my driving instructor then it leads to more mistakes and total disater of a driving lesson. Then im so happy when the driving lesson has finished . but always nervous thining about my next lesson
It does get easier with time and practise for most people. Make sure the roads you're using aren't too challenging for your level.
Thank you for your videos. To hold people up is one of them, but the biggest is the fear of being the cause of an accident. As a passenger I was in two so far and I will be driving with two of my kids in the car. The fear of hurting them makes me very anxious, fearful and its exactly like that. When fear sets in, I am failing to hear my instructor.
I like my instructor but I feel he wants me to able to drive after just 16 hours,, I just can't and I shouldn't feel bad for being slow in learning so thank you for all of these videos
Same
@@porcelainheartxo little update since you replied, took it slower and was able to drive properly after 24ish hours. Passed my test but still a bit anxious on the road itself, you can take your time you'll be fine just like me.
@@ratratratratratratratratra8808 thank you for replying I’ve done about 16 hours so far and just am being so hard on myself cause I’m not perfect and I feel I’m so slow at learning it’s nice to know you passed though I just wanna quit and give up tbh when I make a fault it makes me want to stop feel like my driving instructor wants me to be the best and I feel like I can’t keep up
Anxiety does the craziest things to me, it can make you literally mess up in areas or situations that you know so well and are so easy, or it does me. I know what to do at a situation, get a little anxiety and do the complete opposite because I focus so hard on staying not nervous rather than what I am actually doing with the driving lol. This video was good.
Richard, you're just the best. I've been driving now for almost 20 years and still have a slight phobia about going up hill from stop position and I get very nervous and my knee starts shaking, I do over-come it but it just does not go away
Thank you. I applaud you for continuing despite feeling anxious. Determination is something to do have.
Whenever I’m anxious, my left leg starts to violently shake... makes clutch control very hard
You're not alone. It gets better with time.
@@ConquerDriving thank you so much for your encouragement
@@ConquerDriving thank you
THIS!!! This happens to me.
@@TheOpus480 it’s been 9 months after I commented this and luckily it’s gotten much better! I still have my moments but after a few deep breaths I’ve gotten it. In fact I passed my test this week!
You’ll get better with time too so don’t stress x
You are right about holding people. I was about to take a left(we give priority to oncoming cars when turning left) and my instructor was shouting at me for being slow and holding the following cars. I panicked and overlooked an oncoming car. I was quick enough to break but the experience left me very shaken.
I'm sorry to hear that. It's normal for new drivers to hold people up.
My driving instructor keeps shouting and swearing at me,one day im gonna end up knocking him out. Wish i had someone like you
I recommend you talk to them about it. It's better not to shout.
Hit the nail on the head with this video. Everything that makes me nervous in lessons.
I've been watching your videos for a little over a year. I've been driving automatics here in the States since the beginning but been always curious about driving manuals. I've driven them a little when renting cars in France but in the end, the hills got the best of me and had to pay more money for automatics - ouch! To make a long story short, less than a week ago I purchased a new Mustang and it's a manual (I specifically sought it out). Everything you discussed in your videos I've applied. In the end, I still have to learn my car and most importantly, disregard those around me on the road. I live in NY where it's the traffic mecca of the world but I had to push aside the anxiety and move forward (pun intended) with confidence.
Just want to say thank you for the videos, for teaching an old bloke new tricks. You're very CLEAR, to the point, and super well informed and it shows in all of your videos. Keep up the great work! Cheers!
I'm happy to hear that, thank you. Nice car!
The important thing to remember about fear or anxiety is that it is a survival mechanism. What does fear do? It raises our awareness. As our ancestors might have done, treading carefully through the jungle being alert was the best mindset for survival when looking out for any predators that might be around you.
Fear is (unfortunately) necessary and it's the first step to making you conscientious. That's really the first test of being a good driver (IMO). But too much fear will cripple you and have the opposite effect of making you less aware of your surroundings, it will make you imagine things and think up all kinds of possibilities which will distract you from the task at hand, which is to calmly observe what is going on around you on the road and respond in the appropriate manner (or it might put you off driving altogether, which isn't logical, statistically speaking in terms of safety).
I remember the sensation of fear when I first started learning to drive (2002). In one of my first few lessons, the idea suddenly entered my head that I was sitting in this 1.5 ton metal box on wheels in which I had complete control over, which could squish a person flat and kill me too if I was really stupid. But then later I calmed down and realised that if all these people on the roads had learned to do it, then it wasn't beyond reason that I could learn to do it as well.
The other thing I would say about going slowly if anyone's worried about it is when was the last time you saw a pile up outside Tesco's from a bunch of cars doing 5mph? It just doesn't happen. The real danger (so I heard) is within the first couple of years of passing your test when you're most likely to have an accident. Because after you've passed your test you gain more experience, you then get more confident, go faster and THAT'S where the danger comes in (going faster than you are able to react).
When I learned this, I drove around for the first two years in a little anxiety. But an accident never happened and I've always tried to keep my head ever since, and thankfully I haven't had an accident or even a scratch.
I get anxious when I drive and pray to God whenever I drive. I had driven for 2 years until I hit a car in a carpark (it's my colleague's car and luckily, she wasn't in the car...of course, I paid for the damage). Since then I give myself lots of excuses and stop driving for over 6 years now...In my mind, I don't see the need to drive again and enjoy myself being a passenger. But in 2022, I suddenly realise that I should pick up driving as a way to challenge myself and step out of my comfort zone. Your video encourages me a lot because you make me realise that it's okay to feel anxious. All I need is to take my time to learn, to have more positive self-talk and arouse my interest in driving until I become a confident driver one day. It’s very hard to find someone likes you who understand how I feel. Your videos mean so much to me and help me to regain my confidence in driving. Hope you can keep posting videos so I can keep learning! Thank you!
I just want you to let you know that I drove for 30 mins around the suburb where I lived today!!! I had butterflies in my stomach before I did it. Hubby said I did well but when I turned left, I was a bit close to the curb and when I parked my car, my car was a bit far from the curb...so I need to practise more. Anyway, I felt so good for driving again and very thankful to you!
I had to stop my driving lesson yesterday because of this so this is perfect timing thank you
I hope it helps you.
I’m very anxious now after I’ve changed 2 instructors in 6 months
First I’ve done 30 hours and didn’t learn anything just made me feel guilty that I’m not learning quick and I will never be ready for next level and second one I’ve aid £40 per hour and told me to watch TH-cam videos that will make me a better student while I’m on the road with him and told him that I’m working 12 hours Monday to friday and sometimes don’t have time but we just didn’t work together anymore ! Now I have my test booked in 2 months and don’t have any instructor fingers crossed will find a instructor this week !all the best to all and be safe
Great video, I am an older driver, I failed 2 tests 10 years ago and have returned for another bite at the cherry. I suffer with nerves, but they are more "what might happen, not what is happening". My instructor great and very patient indeed. (My last instructor used to shout or raise his voice a lot which made me worse)
Keep up the videos, they are really good and help PS: looking at Collingwood via the link :) thanks for that
this guy is great glad i found him 3 yrs later- from usa
Thank you for this it helps be a bit calmer had my 2nd lesson today had a difficult time at the course but a fair bit better on the actual road due to focus and staying calm. But driving on the schools course made me nervous. Although the instructor is a bit frustrated but thankfully did not yell but corrected and explained what I did wrong.
Wow, your lesson could be easily applied to real life. Excellent.
You’re a very good teacher. From what I can see, a lotta patience. Thank you
just passed my test and went for a drive earlier and as excited as I was I was also hella nervous but it went well, thanks for the great video
I wish I'd had a nice instructor like you! My last one was horrendous. He would shout at me any time I made a mistake, shout at me for being too fast and for being too slow, shout at me for stalling, even shout at me for not knowing the answer to his questions. He would make me park up 15 mins before the end of my lesson and shout at me for that whole time, telling me I was rubbish and that I wasn't learning fast enough (after 6 hours of lessons). I started to dread the lessons and gave up. Now it's been a year and a half and I've finally plucked up the courage to book a new instructor, but the whole experience damaged my confidence and I feel really anxious. I hope my next one will be nice.
i've been on an accident it depressed the hell out of me, I'm watching this video to overcame my anxiety
I'm sorry to hear that, I hope you get your confidence back soon.
@@ConquerDriving yes hopefully i could been watching your video awhile and it does make my confident a little bit positive
@@gingerbrotato hopefully you can feel more confident soon, get back into driving gradually perhaps at lower speeds, maybe practice getting your confidence back in a car park even. Good luck with everything :)
You are a fantastic instructor. If only all instructors were like you. I am so grateful for these videos. I am still so anxious about driving on the motorway.
I feel a little anxiety 15 minutes before I'm about to drive, but that usually goes away once I'm behind the wheel. Generally my experience with other drivers have been positive. No honking, yelling or rude gestures. I've had people drive close to me, but I still take my time.
It happens that I make mistakes and when trying to correct them I might make new mistakes. My driving instructor has a good understanding of how far he can push my learning, and while I'm driving we talk about where I might improve. I might even comment on what I just did to get instant feedback. Most of the times we go around and repeat the exercise once or twice more till I got it.
What helps me when feeling anxious of any part of driving is being vocal about it.
Acceptance of the learning curve minimising anxiety for me.
Enjoying the good things I do like a nice corner or noticing a hazard early on helps build confidence and effective muscle memory.
Wearing a mask during lessons because of Covid19 can also help reduce anxiety and increase confidence since it maintains anonymity, especially if you are holding people up. Another great video
nahh, for me. I was suffocated, short breathed wearing mask, making me feel really scared during driving with instructor
Thank you.
I have been learning on and off since 2007 and I STILL can't wrap my head around it, I don't want to give up because driving offers you so much opportunity and will be beneficial for work, some of my relatives think I should just give up, some days I have great days where I feel really confident and do well, other days I'm even too scared to get behind the wheel, my husband teaches me because I've been through so many instructors and now can't afford another and I'm already on his insurance, the problem is obviously me, my husband is a good driver and ridiculously patient with me and tells me when I do well but also tells me where I go wrong so I don't know what my problem is, I really don't want to quit but I just don't know how I'm going to get this and I'm hoping miraculously someone will know the answer to my problem. xx
I think the answer is to understand what bothers you and learn to accept it. Also, lots and lots of determination and practise.
Thank you for putting this video up for us learner drivers, Richard! I've got driving experience (more or less 10 years and used to very busy roads) prior to me and my wife moving to the UK. However, due to the fact that the UK is right-hand drive, and of course having different road rules, I've felt the anxiety you've mentioned here. Thankfully, I've got a very good driving instructor, who's very calm and follows the positive feedback loop. I feel like instructors needs to have lessons in Phychology to understand the root cause of this type of anxiety their students deals with every lessons. You sir are a gem of an instructor!
Thank you,
Ash
I've been driving for over a year, I still feel anxious sometimes - usually when passing cars that are parked in the road, trying not to hit their mirrors, etc.
Check how my video on judging car width, it may help.
I passed my driving test last Thursday and I’m here to get some reassurance. My inexperience makes me a bit nervous. Thank you for all the helpful videos.
That's great news, congratulations on passing and thank you for watching!
@@ConquerDriving Thank you!
Most informative and really useful channel out there! Deserve way more subscribers!
I need to send this video to my last instructor. lol
How I wish you can come to South Africa to help me😩 I'm honestly struggling and watching your videos always make me feel better. I just realised that I have anxiety and my driving instructor is making me more anxious with constantly comparing me to other learners🤦🏽♀️
I know you posted this 2 years ago, but I just wanted to say thank you for the videos again, they truly are helping me❤
Thank you for this, just had my first lesson today and I needed this.
You're welcome ☺
I am relieved that you talked about someone having anxiety already on top of driving anxiety.It will take much much long.Two steps forward 3 back...one step forward ok...and repeat...that is what it is like.
13th December will be a video where I interview someone who learnt to drive with an anxiety disorder.
I love that you are covering the psychology of anxiety. This is so helpful. I am learning to drive in my 40's and i am more anxious now than I was when I first started learning age 17. The positive feedback loop really works doesn't it? I like what yoh are saying about setting realistic goals as well. Really good advice 🤩
Love watching your vids, im 47 always been scared of driving, decided this year to work though it, 8 lessons in now and loving it, but i had so much anxiety about it, driving, distances, other drivers, and even if something goes wrong now i think im fairly good at moving past it, theory in 2 weeks and driving instructor said to me today i could be on way to taking test in new year the way im progressing
I'm happy to heat that 😊
I had to change my instructor because of that! Instead of gaining confidence I was getting even worst that I’ll do the stupidest mistake. He was a shouter and ngl sometimes I was scared of him. But then swapped instructors and wow really I’m shocked the way you can change when you have someone that explain things correctly and don’t get mad at mistakes.
I'm happy you found someone who is helping you.
the word my instructor said the most is “more gas”...
Yeah same
When my instructor says more gas i get so scared lool
Same here. My driving instructor seems to be treating me like an experienced driver and expects me to keep up with the traffic/ at the top of the speed limit all the time. Really fed up with it now
@@Bells-ou1gj are you going to switch? Cause having an instructor like that will make you more anxious.
@@abbiecampfield8955 no I don't have any time before my test. I've already had to rearrange my test previously because my first instructor was terrible. Makes me feel like I have an issue with myself or something 🤷🏻♀️
With in 45 mins of my first lesson I was took on really busy dual carriage ways and multi lane round abouts my anxiety was through the roof and all my instructor said was you got this it’s easy... immediately changed driving schools
That is a very risky teaching strategy.
tnx comrade fan fron sri lanka🇱🇰
It’s currently 3am. Technically, my test is tomorrow. I’m really pooping it. From covid esc, I’ve worked on this so hard, for so long. The thought of trying to get another test too, is so daunting. Wish me luck. I’m manifesting that I’m capable of what I need to do for just. That. 45. Minutes. ❤️
I hope it went well, I guess you have already had the test but I've only just got to your comment.
@@ConquerDriving passed first time! 😁 Thankyou for your videos! Defo were a huge help
I’m having severe anxiety about driving in dual carriage ways. Other than that I got better in my driving. Hope dual carriage way will not come to my exam. Thank you all for your videos Richard.
I've just failed my driving test for the third time. I made a lot of silly little mistakes because I was so nervous. I was so worried about looking in my mirrors that my positioning was terrible
I'm sorry to hear that. Try not to look in the mirrors too much when driving, I recommend checking them quickly several times when necessary. I wish you the best of luck with your next test.
@@ConquerDriving thank you so much
Same do I 😢 so annoying for me I not get pass yet .
I think my anxiety comes from my last two failure tests, used to be too confident in driving, after failling in two exams. I always feel nervous in driving. Why it's so difficult to pass the driving test in UK. :(
It is difficult, but keep going and it will get easier eventually.
Thanks a lot, your videos taught me in few minutes what my instructor could not teach in 5 months, Finally passed or better say overcame failure in third attempt after watching your videos.
That's fantastic news, thank you for watching and congratulations on passing!
Aww. I passed my test like 7 years ago but just got a car recently, so I'm nervous about driving alone. Also I've noticed signs and road markings are not always clear, like what if I turn right when I'm not supposed to or something and cause an accident. I have a couple of refresher lessons booked, so that's a start. On my own, I'll start with circling the block 😭 I'm sure music will help...
I hope the refresher lessons help you.
My sister gives me anxiety, we took turns practicing and she started shouting at me and demotivating me for the same mistakes she made in her turn and for which I didn’t put any pressure on her at all, wish I could practice with some nice and patient person and not a witch 😒
This is where a professional driving instructor can help. We're used to dealing with anxiety.
I have my test Friday. Very nervous of joining dual carriage way..but that really is my only fear.
Watching your videos everyday to try and build my confidence. I loved what you said on your dual carriage way vid about 9 times out of ten people will help me get on, but there is always that one idiot who doesnt care and will make it hard. Thank you for that it really helped
Good luck on Friday 🤞
I’m really struggling with test anxiety. I’m fine driving the majority of the time but once I’m in the test the pressure gets to me, I panic and then I fail. My third test is coming up later this year and I’m so nervous.
You're not alone, try and take some of the pressure away and don't tell anyone you have a test.
I wanted to thank you for doing all these amazing videos. Driving is becoming more pleasurable. I was trying to find out why my brain is protecting me so much by giving a lot of anxiety. Turned out, it was the lost control, i was afraid of. I am fixing it now, hopefully will do better soon.
Thanks for your valuable advice. Some instructors have the urge for the learner to be perfect always. And they scold us otherwise.
I’m currently having driving lessons, and I’m facing the issue where when I put the clutch down and find the biting point my left leg shakes quite bad. I’ve been told it’s nerves and although I don’t feel nervous, I am.
Yeah same nd am not fkin new driver idk why it's happening to me aswell so frustrating
Got the same problem and i can't make it stop.
May be u r in different mood
You don't realise it, but you are. My palms get sweaty and my back starts to hurt from the tension?
Same for me I just put it in neutral and bring the clutch up now
i am still struggling and different country.. thank you so much for assisting me driving
I wish you were my teacher....
But even with your positive video's i will make with the willing of God.
I love even the way you explain it.
Thank you for your videos they helped me a lot i passed today with 0 minors for the first time! i can’t believe it i am so happyyyyyy! good luck everyone!
That's great news! Congratulations!
I get more comfortable each time out but junctions can still make me anxious, especially if there's a traffic light and someone is behind me. Because I drove automatics for so long before learning to drive a manual, my instinct is to hit the throttle when I want to get moving quickly. That can play havoc with my clutch control, and suddenly I'm holding everyone up. Just takes practice and experience.
That's right, practise and experience will get you there.
again thank you for this video 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 this is my biggest problem 😭i live in Belgium but i learn alot from your videos. Groetjes! 😊Dank u 🙏🏻