If you enjoyed this chat, please LIKE this video and I'll make another about how to make friends as an adult 😘 Until then, check out my Bumble BFF review - th-cam.com/video/b-hzqZJdtWA/w-d-xo.html Would love to know your thoughts about this!! Have you been in this situation before? Do you have anything to add? Let me know 💖
I found that in this modern day and age, people don't long for friendship, they want to be entertained. A fleeting convinient escape from boredom. Friendship takes a lot of work, energy, mindfulness and just like a relationship, it requires sincere investment. I managed to actually have lifelong friends, because my friendship comes with conditions, and theirs as well. Tell the truth, listen, invest, support but leave room for constructive criticism. The ones that were not compatible due to differences in morals/values, sense of integrity, temperament, lifestyles etc did not survive, and that's okay. But I always flocked to individuals that were compatible with me, so the 3 friends I do still have, are incredibly supportive and engaging. Humans are social creatures, and it is healthy to surround yourself with someone other than your spouse. But it really depends on the environment you decide to place yourself in as well. Dysfunction comes in many shapes and forms. I tend to stay away from places and people who tend to facilitate a toxic and superficial dynamic. I grew up, I matured, and I expect my friends to do the same. For me that worked. My life is mine, and I don't intend to waste it on fleeting moments with people who are there because they found nothing better to do.
That is such a great point! I didn't think about the entertainment aspect but it's completely true. It's absolutely an investment. Aww I love that you have such supportive and healthy lifelong friendships! You are very lucky 🙂 But I also know that it doesn't just come down to just luck - so much goes into it. Like you said, there are expectations from one another and I think that it's vital to sustain the friendship. I totally agree with you that it's important to surround yourself with people other than your spouse and that environment is a big factor too. After my "friendship break," I feel like I'm more equipped to make better decisions in this arena and I really understand what I want in a friendship and how I can be a good friend as well. You're right - there is no time to be wasted. I can only hope that find friends as amazing as yours
@@LizzieinLace I moved from The Netherlands to Canada, and they still put in the effort. We talk every week, and we travel to see one another. I made friends here as well, because I stuck to my tried and true. I met some people who I had to move on from, because I don't want to compromise on my morals/values. It feels good to know who you are; to set boundaries that are healthy for you , not just short-term but long-term. I laughed really hard at your bumble video when you explained the "skimpy outfits" are an immediate "uh oh'' for you. There is nothing bad about having personal standards. We live in a day and age where traditional views and conservatism is seen as a curse by certain crowds. Well, I'm here to tell you that it only serves your goal to filter out people that are no compatible with you. I don't expect people to be problem free, but behavioral drama free? Yes, at a minimum! hah! I would totally drag you out to a "Let's hunt down the best high tea places in town tour" if you did not live so far away my dear!
Wow that is amazing!! Definitely gives me hope :-) I know exactly what you mean. This is what I've gone through for the past few years but I'm really glad that I did. It does feel good to know what I want in a friendship and to be more in control of who I let into my life. LOL! Sometimes I wonder if they know they're on the "friendship" part of the app and not the "dating" part haha! That is so true. Drama free is a minimum requirement and I don't need to continually open myself to others that aren't a good fit in an effort to be polite. I'm okay with filtering out people - the right ones will come along. Aw I would love that! Perhaps one of these days ;-)
Stay away from the women that never seem to have their life together or blame everyone for where they are in life. As soon as you point out that not everything is someone else's fault, they'll drop you like a bad habit, and you will have wasted a lot of time and emotional energy on them.
Ooo that is a good piece of advice! As a "helper," I have run into this type of person many times in the past. As much as you want to, you can't help someone that can't help themselves. We all have to learn our own lessons!
True.. friendship break up hurt so much, I didn’t have a honest break up but just sudden ghosting without any explanation for 2 years and my friend is still there active with other friends I felt sooo confused thinking if I did something or not.. but I just decided to move on and not rely so much on friends, I think we get attached so much to our friends because we don’t love ourself enough, my mother told me friendship dose not last when I was in my late teen or early 20s but as soon as I enter my mid 20s I realised my mother was right lmao
Aww thank you for sharing! I'm so sorry to hear that! I've totally been there - in fact I feel like many of us have. For some reason, we always blame ourselves when friends ghost us or start treating us differently. But it's not our fault at all - it's all on them! I also think that many calculate their value and worth on how many friends they have or who their friends are, etc (especially when we're younger) but once we start to see the value in ourselves, we realize exactly what we want in a friendship and sometimes it's different than what we have. Looking back, losing certain friends was a blessing in a way so I don't question it anymore
Queen, this video is so timely as I just ended my last friendship yesterday due to an imbalance in standards. I cried this morning because it hurts my heart but it would have dishonored myself to stay in it. I feel guilty cutting out people who I love but let it go for my sense of peace. I literally found your channel recently and binge watching all of your shorts. I think your channel is such a gem 🎀👸🏾❤️ ☁️ Ashley Marie
Aww I'm so sorry to hear that Ashley! Sending you a big *hug*! I know that feeling. It definitely feels like a heart break (and it is). Proud of you for making the tough decision to let go for health and well-being. It's important to prioritize that and very brave to know when it's time to move on. It will take take to heal but I know that everything will work out for you!
I think the reason why it’s difficult to make friends if we are talking females in general.. a lot of them tend to be insecure and they want to judge to make their insecurities seem not relevant. When it comes down to it, I think your best making friends with people who don’t have an agenda. Share similar interests and are just honest. I think authenticity is hard to find nowadays and when your that way it’s a better outcome. Loved this video keep them up. I love checking out your content have a great weekend :)
That is so true! I couldn't agree more. Honestly, I think that being the "really nice girl" has hindered me in a way. I was always kind to everyone and unfortunately, have been taken advantage of for that kindness. It makes you feel defeated and it was definitely a hard lesson to learn. But now I know that I don't need to go above and beyond for everyone - in fact, I don't feel the need to people please anymore. It actually makes everything easier because it weeds out the people that are not there for the right reasons. I agree that being authentic attracts the right kind of people :-) Aww thank you Heather! Hope you had a good one too!
This topic is so relatable! I really only have a handful of close friends and I’ve always felt bad when I go to some friends birthdays and they have so many friends show up. Also, just observing the very long term friends my husband still has has always made me feel like why can’t I still have friends from 20 years ago lol anyway, I totally relate it’s hard especially when you’re self employed and working from home
This. I have a few close-knit friends and then see people out on vacations or celebrating with 10+ close girlfriends and I am like, how?!? And since we work from home, that certainly doesn't help. I'm definitely in my own at-home bubble and it's hard to find others that relate.
Thanks so much Jess! I definitely know the feeling! When I was getting married, I felt bad that I didn't have 500 bridesmaids lol! Aww that's really sweet!! My husband is in the same position as me when it comes to older friendships so we've been getting through it together. I think it's completely natural for most to fall away so no reason to feel bad! :-) Working from home can be really lonely at times!! I feel like most blogger friends I talk to (including yourself) are far away so I don't even have the luxury of getting out LOL!!
Totally feel you on this too! I wish I had a group of friends to travel with or celebrate with! I'm in my own little bubble at home too. And I live in the middle of nowhere so there's no one around that can even remotely relate LOL!!
I so much believe that in life we need people and no one is an island. I have some good friends in my life but I've learnt never to expect anything from anyone so as not to be disappointed.
I agree! I have learned the same lesson. Although I've done so much for others, I don't expect anything from anyone anymore (and I also don't hold any grudges against it). But through this process, I've learned my own worth and the value of putting yourself first
I tried for many years to keep friendships. Alot of it was me but also alot of it was others. Now I find that keeping it to acquaintances and only socializing when absolutely necessary is what works best for me as a person.
yes, people grow apart because they are going through different things at the time. We can only count on seasons when it comes to relationships. Great points.
Even though I’m many years older than you I’ve had many similar experiences, both in terms of life and friendship experiences. I’m very self sufficient these days and have one good friend but that’s about it. As you get older so many people don’t want to strike up a new friendship and that’s ok… Lovely to see you, Lizzie! Donna 🧚🏻♀️❤️🐝
Thanks so much Donna! I do feel like we are very similar in so many ways!! Thank you for sharing your story and your wisdom. I've really enjoyed the process of getting to know myself on a deeper level and establishing healthier patterns over the last few years. I would not have been able to do this had I stayed in certain friendships or relationships so it's definitely been a blessing! Always lovely to see you too!
I went for years without celebrating my birthday About 10 years ago I decided to invite 7 friends and have dinner. They all showed up I am still friends with three of those guests So yes there has been evidence that some people move on. But some will stay with me until the end of their life or mine I am glad I make myself throw my birthday party each year. I feel so much happier that year after year I can say 20 -30 came to celebrate my life with me instead of being lonely on my birthday The most important relationship I have is with myself When I like me others are drawn to me. My friends teach me to think about my friends Not just myself
Aww I love hearing that! You are very lucky to have such supportive friends! And I think that throwing yourself a birthday party each year is such a wonderful thing to do for yourself (and a great way to maintain those friendships). You do have a point - we do have some choices in the matter. Choosing to celebrate your birthday amongst friends sounds like it was life-changing in the best way. I completely agree that having a good relationship with yourself is the most important thing. I will say that everyone's circumstances are different though and there are very valid reasons for some people to be friendless. However, once you do have those relationships, I think it's important to do the work to maintain them.
I've always enjoyed your beautiful feminine videos although I haven't commented before. I have no friends and haven't had any in years. I would be overjoyed and grateful if ever I had a genuine connection with another woman, but I've found over the years that hard times do illuminate who cares about us (and who doesn't) and I'd rather be alone than with people who don't want me for me, but only for what I can provide them. I also check myself often to see where I can improve. :-)
I'm so glad you made this video. I had a a lot of friends growing up but only a few I actually was close with. Now I have no friends at all. Sometimes it gets lonely but I do have my kids and they are my world 🌎
i think friendship can change dramasticly after school as you mention jobs family interest etc its also interstesting how old mates can comeback and maybe become friends again this is whathappen to me now i met someone that i knew 7 years ago
Thanks so much beauty! That's very true! My husband has actually had similar friend experiences but I feel like it's more common in women (or at least on a different scale lol).
Maybe it's just me but I do really think if most of us weren't forced to overwork ourselves as much as we do we could actually have more TIME and ENERGY to nurture our relationships.
You are absolutely right! This is actually something I was thinking about the other day. It's something I struggle with, for sure, but friendships (and relationships, in general) are hard to sustain if both people aren't putting time and effort into it.
Great video. I used to have alot of friends in high school and college, but now I really only keep in contact (but barely) with 2. I’m an introvert, but I’m a lot better at making friends than I was a few years ago. I think yt us helping out with that as well
Thanks for this video Lizzie. I related to a lot of it. It's really hard to make friends as an adult, especially when you're introverted (and if you have social anxiety like me!). I have someone who I call my "best friend" and vice versa because we have been friends for so long, have some similar hobbies, and hang out fairly regularly. She is great but also has very strong black and white thinking. I feel like I can't be truly honest with her because she has strong opinions and I'm scared of her reactions. So there's a wall there. We also have had a lot of different life experiences so there's times where we can't really relate to each other at all. There's still a lot of value in our friendship but I've never had that best friend that they show in the media, where you are very close and tell each other everything. Thankfully I have that aspect in my boyfriend. I always feel left out when people talk about their friends from college/university. I made only one friend in university, however she has now made her life on the other side of the world so we never see each other. Recently, I made friends at work for the first time in my life. I never really found friends at my other jobs, most of my coworkers and I had nothing in common and I found it very hard to open up to people. Now that I'm switching jobs I'm scared to lose the 2 friends I made. It's sad but I guess it's just life. I'm sure I will make some friends at my new job too, at least for the time that I'm there :)
Very relatable topic. I have experienced toxic friendships too in my past. Nowadays as an adult I have a lot of friends/ acquaintances through my hobbies but I haven't had a close friend or a bestie to share things with in ages. Luckily as an introvert I like my own company 🙂
Aww thank you for sharing! I know the feeling. And honestly, I'm really happy to be an introvert as well!! It's allowed me to get to know myself on a deeper level and establish what I want moving forward. I feel like this type of situation would be harder for an extrovert (the social aspect, at least)!
We need people that are secure within themselves and if they’re not, you’re going to be hurting and you gonna get used to being alone all the time until you find somebody that is equally secure as you are and then you’ll find your match but until then watch all the cherry pie take it. Have a good day.
That is so true! I've been finding this out along the way. I think that part of the problem with previous friendships is that we longer align. For newer friendships, we just weren't on the same level in a few ways. And this is totally okay! You're right. I will find my perfect friendship match one of these days!
I've been friends with some of my closets girlfriends since I was a kid/teenager! I think depending on your personalities and friendship it can defs be a life long friendship
I honestly feel like most women see each other as competition. For men, for jobs, etc. I honestly don’t know when or why it starts. It’s really sad when you stop to think about it. You made very valid points.
That's very true!! It's so crazy to me because I've never been this type of person so to think that there are so many out there like this is honestly insane. But I have experienced it more than I'd like to admit (especially now with my job). This is one reason why it's been hard to find good friends. I don't want someone that will be in competition with me, I want someone that will be mutually supportive and encouraging.
The only friend that I managed to make since I left my country ghosted me and that hurt so much! I am an introvert and she was more outgoing so it was a perfect balance, I think she ghosted me because we had different opinions about our workplace policies during Covid. I wish she would have said something if I said something that offended her but she instead just ghosted me. I don’t know if I will ever make a friend again.
Aw! 'm so sorry to hear this. I'm an introvert as well so I can definitely relate. It's tough to make friends as an introvert. I think that differing opinions should be discussed as well
the mid 20s is either a bless or curse but depends on the job you have some people who work many shifts and overtime would have that much free time to spend on stuff like hanging out with friends or the love will come to you or you found your love
I know exactly what you mean!! I worked 3-4 jobs up until a few years ago. In my 20s, I was also in college full-time so I didn't have much time for hanging out with friends. Now that I have a bit more time, it's hard to find them lol!
friendship heart break is terrible. I hsve has a friend for 20 years who we have technically briken. A lot of people called her my best friend. Now looking back I see a lot of toxic tendencies she displayed. As i have gotten older and more mature I am no longer interrsted in those toxic traits.
Brought many thoughts to mind. I am surprised I thought the dynamics were that many women have many girlfriends Whenever there is a birthday party for example there seems to be several women there I will say I only need about five close friends would be too difficult to keep close contact with more than a few. Could you imagine trying to speak to 100 people on a weekly basis? Can’t be done
In my experience (and in many others), it's actually been the complete opposite. I do wish it were that way! It would definitely be tough to keep in touch with that many close friends lol!
also family life can change dramasticly when kids grow up or will it be last your wife/husband because some marriage couldnt last long because differencr circumstances
@@LizzieinLace i had couple friends and mates that i knew and we talk the same subject over and over again like for example music and its really surprising how we talk even though he is really busy with his wife but we still try to meet each other or stay in contact for 6 years
Aww! I'm so sorry that you feel this way. I do know what it's like but I think that there is someone out there for everyone. We just have to find our tribe
If you enjoyed this chat, please LIKE this video and I'll make another about how to make friends as an adult 😘 Until then, check out my Bumble BFF review -
th-cam.com/video/b-hzqZJdtWA/w-d-xo.html
Would love to know your thoughts about this!! Have you been in this situation before? Do you have anything to add? Let me know 💖
I found that in this modern day and age, people don't long for friendship, they want to be entertained. A fleeting convinient escape from boredom. Friendship takes a lot of work, energy, mindfulness and just like a relationship, it requires sincere investment.
I managed to actually have lifelong friends, because my friendship comes with conditions, and theirs as well. Tell the truth, listen, invest, support but leave room for constructive criticism. The ones that were not compatible due to differences in morals/values, sense of integrity, temperament, lifestyles etc did not survive, and that's okay. But I always flocked to individuals that were compatible with me, so the 3 friends I do still have, are incredibly supportive and engaging.
Humans are social creatures, and it is healthy to surround yourself with someone other than your spouse. But it really depends on the environment you decide to place yourself in as well. Dysfunction comes in many shapes and forms. I tend to stay away from places and people who tend to facilitate a toxic and superficial dynamic. I grew up, I matured, and I expect my friends to do the same.
For me that worked. My life is mine, and I don't intend to waste it on fleeting moments with people who are there because they found nothing better to do.
That is such a great point! I didn't think about the entertainment aspect but it's completely true.
It's absolutely an investment. Aww I love that you have such supportive and healthy lifelong friendships! You are very lucky 🙂 But I also know that it doesn't just come down to just luck - so much goes into it. Like you said, there are expectations from one another and I think that it's vital to sustain the friendship.
I totally agree with you that it's important to surround yourself with people other than your spouse and that environment is a big factor too. After my "friendship break," I feel like I'm more equipped to make better decisions in this arena and I really understand what I want in a friendship and how I can be a good friend as well. You're right - there is no time to be wasted. I can only hope that find friends as amazing as yours
@@LizzieinLace I moved from The Netherlands to Canada, and they still put in the effort. We talk every week, and we travel to see one another.
I made friends here as well, because I stuck to my tried and true. I met some people who I had to move on from, because I don't want to compromise on my morals/values.
It feels good to know who you are; to set boundaries that are healthy for you , not just short-term but long-term.
I laughed really hard at your bumble video when you explained the "skimpy outfits" are an immediate "uh oh'' for you. There is nothing bad about having personal standards.
We live in a day and age where traditional views and conservatism is seen as a curse by certain crowds.
Well, I'm here to tell you that it only serves your goal to filter out people that are no compatible with you. I don't expect people to be problem free, but behavioral drama free? Yes, at a minimum! hah!
I would totally drag you out to a "Let's hunt down the best high tea places in town tour" if you did not live so far away my dear!
Wow that is amazing!! Definitely gives me hope :-)
I know exactly what you mean. This is what I've gone through for the past few years but I'm really glad that I did. It does feel good to know what I want in a friendship and to be more in control of who I let into my life.
LOL! Sometimes I wonder if they know they're on the "friendship" part of the app and not the "dating" part haha! That is so true. Drama free is a minimum requirement and I don't need to continually open myself to others that aren't a good fit in an effort to be polite. I'm okay with filtering out people - the right ones will come along.
Aw I would love that! Perhaps one of these days ;-)
When you are an individualist instead of someone with a pack mentality you find you usually go it alone. More fulfilling being an individualist 💛
That is so true!! And you're right - it's definitely more fulfilling :-)
Stay away from the women that never seem to have their life together or blame everyone for where they are in life. As soon as you point out that not everything is someone else's fault, they'll drop you like a bad habit, and you will have wasted a lot of time and emotional energy on them.
Ooo that is a good piece of advice! As a "helper," I have run into this type of person many times in the past. As much as you want to, you can't help someone that can't help themselves. We all have to learn our own lessons!
True.. friendship break up hurt so much, I didn’t have a honest break up but just sudden ghosting without any explanation for 2 years and my friend is still there active with other friends I felt sooo confused thinking if I did something or not.. but I just decided to move on and not rely so much on friends, I think we get attached so much to our friends because we don’t love ourself enough, my mother told me friendship dose not last when I was in my late teen or early 20s but as soon as I enter my mid 20s I realised my mother was right lmao
Aww thank you for sharing! I'm so sorry to hear that! I've totally been there - in fact I feel like many of us have. For some reason, we always blame ourselves when friends ghost us or start treating us differently. But it's not our fault at all - it's all on them! I also think that many calculate their value and worth on how many friends they have or who their friends are, etc (especially when we're younger) but once we start to see the value in ourselves, we realize exactly what we want in a friendship and sometimes it's different than what we have. Looking back, losing certain friends was a blessing in a way so I don't question it anymore
Queen, this video is so timely as I just ended my last friendship yesterday due to an imbalance in standards. I cried this morning because it hurts my heart but it would have dishonored myself to stay in it. I feel guilty cutting out people who I love but let it go for my sense of peace. I literally found your channel recently and binge watching all of your shorts. I think your channel is such a gem 🎀👸🏾❤️ ☁️ Ashley Marie
Aww I'm so sorry to hear that Ashley! Sending you a big *hug*! I know that feeling. It definitely feels like a heart break (and it is). Proud of you for making the tough decision to let go for health and well-being. It's important to prioritize that and very brave to know when it's time to move on. It will take take to heal but I know that everything will work out for you!
I think the reason why it’s difficult to make friends if we are talking females in general.. a lot of them tend to be insecure and they want to judge to make their insecurities seem not relevant. When it comes down to it, I think your best making friends with people who don’t have an agenda. Share similar interests and are just honest. I think authenticity is hard to find nowadays and when your that way it’s a better outcome. Loved this video keep them up. I love checking out your content have a great weekend :)
That is so true! I couldn't agree more. Honestly, I think that being the "really nice girl" has hindered me in a way. I was always kind to everyone and unfortunately, have been taken advantage of for that kindness. It makes you feel defeated and it was definitely a hard lesson to learn. But now I know that I don't need to go above and beyond for everyone - in fact, I don't feel the need to people please anymore. It actually makes everything easier because it weeds out the people that are not there for the right reasons. I agree that being authentic attracts the right kind of people :-) Aww thank you Heather! Hope you had a good one too!
That is so true. I couldn’t agree more. Thank you 😊
This topic is so relatable! I really only have a handful of close friends and I’ve always felt bad when I go to some friends birthdays and they have so many friends show up. Also, just observing the very long term friends my husband still has has always made me feel like why can’t I still have friends from 20 years ago lol anyway, I totally relate it’s hard especially when you’re self employed and working from home
This. I have a few close-knit friends and then see people out on vacations or celebrating with 10+ close girlfriends and I am like, how?!? And since we work from home, that certainly doesn't help. I'm definitely in my own at-home bubble and it's hard to find others that relate.
Thanks so much Jess! I definitely know the feeling! When I was getting married, I felt bad that I didn't have 500 bridesmaids lol! Aww that's really sweet!! My husband is in the same position as me when it comes to older friendships so we've been getting through it together. I think it's completely natural for most to fall away so no reason to feel bad! :-) Working from home can be really lonely at times!! I feel like most blogger friends I talk to (including yourself) are far away so I don't even have the luxury of getting out LOL!!
Totally feel you on this too! I wish I had a group of friends to travel with or celebrate with! I'm in my own little bubble at home too. And I live in the middle of nowhere so there's no one around that can even remotely relate LOL!!
@@LizzieinLace well you know if you’re ever in LA you can hit me up :)
Yesssssss, Let's do it!
I so much believe that in life we need people and no one is an island. I have some good friends in my life but I've learnt never to expect anything from anyone so as not to be disappointed.
I agree! I have learned the same lesson. Although I've done so much for others, I don't expect anything from anyone anymore (and I also don't hold any grudges against it). But through this process, I've learned my own worth and the value of putting yourself first
I tried for many years to keep friendships. Alot of it was me but also alot of it was others. Now I find that keeping it to acquaintances and only socializing when absolutely necessary is what works best for me as a person.
I totally get that! So glad that you figured out what works best for your as a person! That's the most important thing
yes, people grow apart because they are going through different things at the time. We can only count on seasons when it comes to relationships. Great points.
Absolutely! So glad you enjoyed
Even though I’m many years older than you I’ve had many similar experiences, both in terms of life and friendship experiences.
I’m very self sufficient these days and have one good friend but that’s about it. As you get older so many people don’t want to strike up a new friendship and that’s ok…
Lovely to see you, Lizzie!
Donna 🧚🏻♀️❤️🐝
Thanks so much Donna! I do feel like we are very similar in so many ways!! Thank you for sharing your story and your wisdom. I've really enjoyed the process of getting to know myself on a deeper level and establishing healthier patterns over the last few years. I would not have been able to do this had I stayed in certain friendships or relationships so it's definitely been a blessing! Always lovely to see you too!
I went for years without celebrating my birthday About 10 years ago I decided to invite 7 friends and have dinner. They all showed up
I am still friends with three of those guests So yes there has been evidence that some people move on. But some will stay with me until the end of their life or mine
I am glad I make myself throw my birthday party each year. I feel so much happier that year after year I can say 20 -30 came to celebrate my life with me instead of being lonely on my birthday
The most important relationship I have is with myself When I like me others are drawn to me. My friends teach me to think about my friends Not just myself
Aww I love hearing that! You are very lucky to have such supportive friends! And I think that throwing yourself a birthday party each year is such a wonderful thing to do for yourself (and a great way to maintain those friendships). You do have a point - we do have some choices in the matter. Choosing to celebrate your birthday amongst friends sounds like it was life-changing in the best way. I completely agree that having a good relationship with yourself is the most important thing. I will say that everyone's circumstances are different though and there are very valid reasons for some people to be friendless. However, once you do have those relationships, I think it's important to do the work to maintain them.
I've always enjoyed your beautiful feminine videos although I haven't commented before. I have no friends and haven't had any in years. I would be overjoyed and grateful if ever I had a genuine connection with another woman, but I've found over the years that hard times do illuminate who cares about us (and who doesn't) and I'd rather be alone than with people who don't want me for me, but only for what I can provide them. I also check myself often to see where I can improve. :-)
Aww thank you so much!!
I'm so glad you made this video. I had a a lot of friends growing up but only a few I actually was close with. Now I have no friends at all. Sometimes it gets lonely but I do have my kids and they are my world 🌎
Thanks so much Sarah! I totally know what you mean. So happy to hear that!! Love that you all are so close
same here 💃👬🏾👩❤️💋👨💯🏡🍷
i think friendship can change dramasticly after school as you mention jobs family interest etc its also interstesting how old mates can comeback and maybe become friends again this is whathappen to me now i met someone that i knew 7 years ago
That's so true! People can get busy over time but they can also come back too. Glad to hear that you reunited with an old friend
Great video! So true. Funny as men don’t seem to have those type of experiences and they don’t understand the struggle. 🌸🌸
Thanks so much beauty! That's very true! My husband has actually had similar friend experiences but I feel like it's more common in women (or at least on a different scale lol).
@@LizzieinLace lucky you have each other than ! 🌸
Such a great topic to discuss. With my anxiety it’s hard to maintain friendships due to my lack of keeping in touch.
I feel this so much!! Can definitely relate
Maybe it's just me but I do really think if most of us weren't forced to overwork ourselves as much as we do we could actually have more TIME and ENERGY to nurture our relationships.
You are absolutely right! This is actually something I was thinking about the other day. It's something I struggle with, for sure, but friendships (and relationships, in general) are hard to sustain if both people aren't putting time and effort into it.
Great video. I used to have alot of friends in high school and college, but now I really only keep in contact (but barely) with 2. I’m an introvert, but I’m a lot better at making friends than I was a few years ago. I think yt us helping out with that as well
Thanks so much Gabrielle! I think that's completely normal :-) YT has definitely helped with this as well!
Thanks for this video Lizzie. I related to a lot of it. It's really hard to make friends as an adult, especially when you're introverted (and if you have social anxiety like me!). I have someone who I call my "best friend" and vice versa because we have been friends for so long, have some similar hobbies, and hang out fairly regularly. She is great but also has very strong black and white thinking. I feel like I can't be truly honest with her because she has strong opinions and I'm scared of her reactions. So there's a wall there. We also have had a lot of different life experiences so there's times where we can't really relate to each other at all. There's still a lot of value in our friendship but I've never had that best friend that they show in the media, where you are very close and tell each other everything. Thankfully I have that aspect in my boyfriend.
I always feel left out when people talk about their friends from college/university. I made only one friend in university, however she has now made her life on the other side of the world so we never see each other. Recently, I made friends at work for the first time in my life. I never really found friends at my other jobs, most of my coworkers and I had nothing in common and I found it very hard to open up to people. Now that I'm switching jobs I'm scared to lose the 2 friends I made. It's sad but I guess it's just life. I'm sure I will make some friends at my new job too, at least for the time that I'm there :)
You are so welcome!! I totally feel you on both of those
Very relatable topic. I have experienced toxic friendships too in my past. Nowadays as an adult I have a lot of friends/ acquaintances through my hobbies but I haven't had a close friend or a bestie to share things with in ages. Luckily as an introvert I like my own company 🙂
Aww thank you for sharing! I know the feeling. And honestly, I'm really happy to be an introvert as well!! It's allowed me to get to know myself on a deeper level and establish what I want moving forward. I feel like this type of situation would be harder for an extrovert (the social aspect, at least)!
We need people that are secure within themselves and if they’re not, you’re going to be hurting and you gonna get used to being alone all the time until you find somebody that is equally secure as you are and then you’ll find your match but until then watch all the cherry pie take it. Have a good day.
That is so true! I've been finding this out along the way. I think that part of the problem with previous friendships is that we longer align. For newer friendships, we just weren't on the same level in a few ways. And this is totally okay! You're right. I will find my perfect friendship match one of these days!
I think it’s very well known which ladies and gentlemen are not on my level. That’s why they belong together. But I often walk a solo path.
I've been friends with some of my closets girlfriends since I was a kid/teenager! I think depending on your personalities and friendship it can defs be a life long friendship
That's so true!! Love that
I honestly feel like most women see each other as competition. For men, for jobs, etc. I honestly don’t know when or why it starts. It’s really sad when you stop to think about it. You made very valid points.
That's very true!! It's so crazy to me because I've never been this type of person so to think that there are so many out there like this is honestly insane. But I have experienced it more than I'd like to admit (especially now with my job). This is one reason why it's been hard to find good friends. I don't want someone that will be in competition with me, I want someone that will be mutually supportive and encouraging.
I think it’s an evolutionary thing that’s left in all of us but not fit for this modern world.
The only friend that I managed to make since I left my country ghosted me and that hurt so much! I am an introvert and she was more outgoing so it was a perfect balance, I think she ghosted me because we had different opinions about our workplace policies during Covid. I wish she would have said something if I said something that offended her but she instead just ghosted me. I don’t know if I will ever make a friend again.
Aw! 'm so sorry to hear this. I'm an introvert as well so I can definitely relate. It's tough to make friends as an introvert. I think that differing opinions should be discussed as well
I totally agree! Thank you for opening up, & I would love to see how to make friends as an adult
Thanks so much Diana! I'll put this one my list
I totally agree! Thank you for opening up.
And you look so pretty! 🥰🌸
Aww Thanks so much Maura! You're always too sweet
also i think friendship and family can be work together really well if the friends can deal with childrens etc
That is so true!
the mid 20s is either a bless or curse but depends on the job you have some people who work many shifts and overtime would have that much free time to spend on stuff like hanging out with friends or the love will come to you or you found your love
I know exactly what you mean!! I worked 3-4 jobs up until a few years ago. In my 20s, I was also in college full-time so I didn't have much time for hanging out with friends. Now that I have a bit more time, it's hard to find them lol!
friendship heart break is terrible. I hsve has a friend for 20 years who we have technically briken. A lot of people called her my best friend. Now looking back I see a lot of toxic tendencies she displayed. As i have gotten older and more mature I am no longer interrsted in those toxic traits.
Aww I'm so sorry to hear this! It's funny how we don't see these things until afterward. I am right there with you!
Brought many thoughts to mind. I am surprised I thought the dynamics were that many women have many girlfriends Whenever there is a birthday party for example there seems to be several women there
I will say I only need about five close friends would be too difficult to keep close contact with more than a few. Could you imagine trying to speak to 100 people on a weekly basis? Can’t be done
In my experience (and in many others), it's actually been the complete opposite. I do wish it were that way! It would definitely be tough to keep in touch with that many close friends lol!
Thank you for the honest video
Of course! Thank you for watching, Lindsey
also family life can change dramasticly when kids grow up or will it be last your wife/husband because some marriage couldnt last long because differencr circumstances
That is a very good point! There are so many things that can cause changes.
@@LizzieinLace i had couple friends and mates that i knew and we talk the same subject over and over again like for example music and its really surprising how we talk even though he is really busy with his wife but we still try to meet each other or stay in contact for 6 years
No female friendship never lasts. Or I won't be so lonely n emotionally unstable.
Aww! I'm so sorry that you feel this way. I do know what it's like but I think that there is someone out there for everyone. We just have to find our tribe
So true❤ love this video
Thanks so much Katy!
Totally agree with you!
Thanks so much Jan!
I have some friends but they’re all online
Aw that's great! It's pretty amazing that we can make friends from anywhere in the world
My friends exclude me bc of lifestyle . Big bye ladies .
Aww I'm sorry, beauty! Sometimes we don't align with the same people anymore. But that just makes room for more friends that do!
I think you would be a great friend 🥰 you have a great mindset that more of us need to have IMHO
Aww! Thank you so much!! That is so kind of you to say
@@LizzieinLace 🥰🥰🥰have a blessed day love