There are worse countries than Sweden to be in to be happy. I’ve been in an overrated country for it’s supposed openness but it was all bs. Many shits are so fake that I find Sweden very very authentic and polite. That country’s name starts with F.
This is JUST like the state of Minnesota in the US. Minnesota is notorious for being a place where it is difficult to make friends if you didn't grow up here, and the people shy away from confrontation. Guess where the bulk of Swedish and Norwegian immigrants to the US settled in the 19th century: Minnesota...
@@osky2558 "Minnesota Nice" does exist. People here are polite and have good manners. For example, even in the Twin Cities, drivers will let you in when you want to be in their lane. But some allege that "Minnesota Nice" can also be passive-aggressive.
My father, born 1924, grew up in a Swedish/Norwegian community in Northern Ontario. His English Canadian school teacher noticed that the Scandinavian children did not express niceties like 'please' and 'thank you'. The Spanish flu killed many area residents. Some of the girls from his community worked as nurses because so many English and French Canadians from neighboring communities were dying. It was noted that none of the Scandinavians, even the nurses became sick. The Scandinavians thought it was because French and English people "were always touching each others."
Americans in general are not friendly, unless they are just arrived from overseas. Everyone is individualistic, super selfish and busy working, there's no community and no one gives a crap about anyone else. Maybe it's because it was mainly settled by Nordic immigrants.
My friend studied in uppsala for 2 years ,she forgot alnost how to talk,NO ONE spoke to her ,she was stuttering when she came back home to Serbia,crazy ,Sweden is scary to me,if they weren't rich they would be considered the scariest and least popular countries
@@Србомбоница86well atleast she retained her ability to speak in some form. Us swedes are known for taking pride in robbing people of their oral skills. There are children that were lost in the wild and grew up in wolf packs, they lost their concept of language, all they did was sniff and bark and snarl. Maybe you heard of Mowgli in the Jungle Book?
Pffff emancipation makes family live difficult and free sex brings scares in emotions A sexual contact releases a hormone oxytocine and vasopressine between the 2 person’s that normally bind this 2 person’s together. So sexual relationships whit out can not be healthy . It becomes after very difficult to love another partner.
I’ve been living in Sweden (Stockholm) for more than 8 years now, and I’ve made only one Swedish friend at gym and we meet once per year…I was an extrovert and happy person and Sweden turned me to an introvert and unhappy…
Thanks for reminding me of why I left Sweden 20 years ago. It's always so nice when you visit in the summer so you tend to forget. /From a native Swede.
Indeed! I found this video unexpectedly interesting. It gave me some new perspectives on myself (I'm german) and past interactions with friends (many of them foreigners). Good direction the channel has taken!
Big towns are so anonymous and full of people who don’t talk. I’m from Scotland, we speak to anyone and everyone, at bus stops , in shops, in cafes, bars, anywhere. I moved to London and did that, talking at bus stops to the people who are regularly there every day. They all look at you as if you’re crazy! As no one talks to anyone unless they’re introduced in another way by another. So no one spoke to me until I went to college, it took about 2yrs to make a few friends in London. I advise, just talk to everyone! One good person is all you need, then the domino effect will come after
Do you? Because I’m in England and all the expats like me told me that Scotland is actually worse than England ☹️ I’m confused I’m engaged to a Brit and is been so hard getting girl friends here 😞
As a Swedish person i can totally agree that it is extremely difficult making friends here. I am now 27 years old and had only a few good friends in my own country while growing up. Most of my friends have either families of their own or have moved abroad to work (following their dreams) My Best friend passed away 2018 and I've been lonely since. 💭
I am very sorry to hear that your best friend passed away when you have only few good friends around you to start with. Hope you are ok. Ex Sri Lankan living in Sydney Australia. To be honest from my own experience all the Nordic people who I talked to are the most genuine and *intelligent* people I have ever met. US is the last. I wish you well!
The interesting thing is the fact that although Sweden offers a high quality of living, why do Swedish people move abroad to work. Can you give some explanation ?
@@bugra320 For the same reasons mentioned in this video - loneliness/difficulty in building friendships/relationships. I have several friends in Northern Europe who have moved to (and wish to move to) Latin/Asian countries.
MOVE TO AFRICA TO ENJOY LIFE WITH PEOPLE OF YOUR CHOICE OVER THERE YOUR DREAMS WILL COME THROUGH IF YOU ARE WISE ENOUGH TO TAKE A BOLD STEPS SHY IS YOUR LIMIT
This is very true. I lived in Sweden & Portugal. In Sweden it was so hard to find friends as everyone seemed to have a wall up. I went to live in Portugal in southern Europe and made a ton of friends, people were so friendly and inviting to social events. I live in the UK now, and the people are even more friendlier. I like the Nordic countries but the people seem a bit colder and closed off.
In my experience the Swiss are quite extroverted. But on the other hand it's true that almost impossible to make Swiss friends as a foreigner. It seems a contradiction that making friends is like in Sweden but on the other hand they are extroverted. But actually it isn't.
The Swiss are also aloof, distant, and sometimes cold. However, Scandinavian countries are family friendly. It helps to have kids. If you are single, it helps to have the same concerns or interests. Joining action and hobby groups can help.
I’m Danish and I don’t have any close friends. Never had. I have a couple whom I see maybe 2-3 times a year. I have friends abroad whom I am in contact with through Whatsapp. It’s sooo hard to make friends here..ones who don’t end up ghosting you or suddenly lose interest in you. It’s been like this all my life.
I strongly suggest you try another country! Denmark is the coldest country I've ever known...I'm Danish as you but, have absolutely no intention coming back. This due to the coldness and not least direct hate, coming from toxic Danes, who imagine (don"t know) how other people are and, when they've imagined and lied about other people long enough, the lies become their "knowledge".....I remember being told over there that, climate doesn't have any influence on the human mind...hm, really Danes!? If I was you, I would move closer to the Ecuator where people are more open minded, curious and friendly.... Alt godt og, held og lykke paa din rejse gennem livet!!
Vow… I had no idea it was this bad in Denmark. Have you tried making friends with some of the immigrants there? I think you will have better luck with non-Danes.
@@shidehhafezi6826 Actually I did make friends with some expats but also lost contact with them. It was pretty obvious that they didn’t want to hang out with me anymore so I stopped contacting them.
When life gets too easy and you dont struggle for basics, connections get shallower. This is a fact. People bond over shared struggles and the search for meaning through experiences where they get to experience each other in their most raw form of human or even the animal essense of the human. When we make life too easy, we make life shallow. When we make like too secure we become even more risk averse and avoid getting out of our confort zone even more. And outside that zone is where all the new connections and growth opportunities lie. I lived in Germany for 7 yrs and I never felt lonelier. Germans were so pathologically cold, closed off and afraid of anything new and different. They can have a functioning system, but a running train doesnt mean its taking the passangers to a good destination.
... but Swedes, Norwegians, Finns, Danish... all the same. Northern Germans always fear to" interfear "😊into someones business. It takes time to get into contact. Hobbies could be helpful. We have loads of clubs, Vereine for everything. If I were a single, I would join a hiking group. If you do that...... do walking aside... not talking much! ... after a while there will be a conversation. 😊 The only proper hiking gear, the best and only shoes... we take everything seriously... 😊 Waiting, be patient... . Important! If you are invited to someones home... it is meant this way! To think it is a fake invitation, due to politeness ... is a mistake you can't repair.
@@AltIng9154 no dude. I lived in germany for almost a decade. Was part of a verein too. And i did break that barrier with some even. So they even loved talking to me because i am intellectually pretty competent. But, what did i get out of it? I was soooooo bored underwhelmed and ready to ditch. They were still soo cold. No human warmth. No hug no touch that didnt feel anxious and afraid. I was just soooo bored with their seriousness the linear left brain thinking. It always felt like talking to robots, lacking affect and sensual input. They were just not capable. At the end of the day, every meeting felt like a business meeting, or exchanging information and not connecting on a deeper emotional level. Sure, us Meditarranean folk can be pretty loud and annoying, but we bring to the table things Northern Europeans severely lack.
@@tricatame7427 I am sorry for you... but this hugging of foreigners is very weird for us. 2 Portugal girls started conversation with me in a train and kissed me good bye ... at the platform... was weird for me. But we start hugging our friends and family members now. We even learned the hugging and kissing... there is progress. 😉
I live in Thailand and see many Nords vacationing here - if they smile, their face would crack - and yet Thais in total contrast are always laughing and smiling. There is no doubt in my mind who is happier, but Thailand never makes those lists... happiness is not based on wealth and schools and hospitals.... it is inside your heart.
Yes the areas where there are many Swedish are miserable like Kata. Swedish travel in their groups, they don't look at you, they don't smile. I stayed at Swedish owned guesthouse where there were only Swedish staying there. Same story nobody looked, talked or smiled at me, even when I ate at their Swedish restaurant. On the last day I met a Brazilian girl and she experienced the exact same. Very unfriendly in contrast to Thais.
That's interesting. I've visited an old school friend who lives in Thailand and I visited a couple of Nordic restaurant/bars but I gave up. The customers were a pretty insular and miserable bunch. It's a total contrast to British and Aussie/Kiwi bars where everyone talks and laughs. One this subject my friend had a US veterans bar around the corner from his house. As an ex British Army guy I thought I'd go in for a few beers. The staff were great, very friendly, but the Americans seemed petrified of me as if I was going to beat them up or something. Very strange. An Anzac bar was totally different...within minutes I knew everyone's name, we were sharing stories, playing music and buying in food to share.
not everyone expresses their happiness the same way. no matter which emotion, nordics just don't tend to show it. they might be completely ecstatic on the inside and those know really know them, can read them. others - not so much
@@hhelina I never considered that - so, some people laugh others smile contentedly and still others pretend to be the most miserable creatures walking the earth... I don't really see the fun in that, but what do I know?
@@2kkto2 you're looking at stuff through your cultural lens/bias. What's considered negative in yours might be completely neutral in some other, resting bitch face is a thing. I've been accused of being serious while I was honestly just really vibing and enjoying myself, incl relaxed face muscles
It is not only in the Nordic countries, but also in Nordic-like countries, like The Netherlands. I am 68 and never had one friend, although I tried. Yes in my youth I felt lonely, but now I am used to that and I am glad not having friends, because having no friend means not having any problems and not being exploited by so-called friends, so you do not feel being humiliated as well.
A life lived without friends is no life at all. This coming from a fellow Dutchman who struggled with lots of loneliness and isolation for many years. The moment I started going to new places and meeting new friends (e.g. with martial arts), my life has improved for the better. I've learned that to truly thrive and be happy, I need connection in my life.
@@calmwaves111 So I do not have a life is your answer. I've had friends, so called friends who just wanted to profit from me. At the moment I said I want one of you to pay for once, they turned their backs to me and never wanted to see me again. Is that friendship? Unfortunately those people grew up in the Jordaan and in Jewish neighborhoods. Nowadays I pay attention to who I speak and try to be nice, but I still come across people who want to try to get as many as possible. So I try to keep to myself as much as possible. Dutch people are terrible.
@@peterstringa3350if you're living a content life, that's what matters, a lot of people will shame you for not having friends and consider it a worthless life, but a lot of people learn the hard way that our society is filled with dysfunctional and narcissistic people that will only create problems for you if you try to befriend them
@@leob4403 I can't help it that people never wanted me as a friend when I was (very) young. The only people who wanted me around were people who tried to profit and steal from me. In my mid twenties I had 2 real friends, but that was short. One year later one killed himself with his Harley Davidson, the other and me couldn't cope the loss of that friend. So we parted. But real friends they were, those two Hells Angels. After that I never had friends anymore, because I had discovered the meaning of the concept friend. But still now 45 years later I cherise those two friends, Frans and Soy.
Very good video and very good insights why making new friends in nordic countries could be a struggle. As a Finn I've never even thought about the reasons why it's so hard to make new friends after college/uni. You were very fortunate to find these smart interviewees. They thoroughly explained the core reasons of the problem. And I mean it is a problem.
I lived in Stockholm- Sweden for 5 years, being married to a national there helped tremendously getting accepted into their circles. Doing that is much, much harder or impossible though for the lonely immigrants like refugees or those seeking asylum, many discovered the "loneliness of two" (immigrant couples), back then there was no social media or cell phones, it was easy to see immigrants talking to themselves at the bus stops! But the way you socialize in countries like Sweden is by enrolling in adult night courses to learn different type of skills. But first and foremost you need to learn Swedish, you can get by with English but if you seek to integrate learning Svenska is priority.
I have lived in almost 20 countries in the world and I have never found one country where it was easier to make friends than any other. Friendships are forged by circumstance. Being on a compound in Saudi Arabia, cut off from mainstream society, I met others who were subject to the same social deprivations and we became firm friends as we all had to overcome a single obstacle together.
IF YOU COMPOUND YOU WERE MAKING A LOT MONEY, NO RENT, NO BILLS, NO ONE FORCE YOU TO VE THERE , YOU WERE WORKING CONTRACT TO MAKE MONEY AND IT' WAS YOUR CHOICE, HOW DO I KNOW I USED TO WORL THERE AND MAKE MONEY AND LIFE TOME FRIENDS
As someone from a tropical country, this is just so foreign to me. I'm an introvert and people are so friendly that I literally have to deliberately distance myself from people. In fact, I even have to make sure I surround myself with only useful people or people that share my goals/values.
Funny, in Brazil we are just the opposite, depression gets slapped in the butt every day and night. But corruption is rampant. If we had the education system, health care, transport and other basic needs Sweden has, Brazil would be the heaven on earth. Well, it's hard to understand this life.
@@alexandrakis2731 , we can't generalize, but in general people in tropical countries tend to be more open and friendly because we spend most of the year outside and not so inside ourselves, more closed because of the often bad climate as in colder countries. There are channels of Nordic people living here in Brazil that would be "almost unrecognizable" by their compatriots for their behavior. Example: Channel "Swedish Gringo". It's not only for the climate, it's because they also meet local people who are the opposite and so they feel more comfortable to act as maybe they would like, but would be seen as an "ET" in their countries.
Well during COVID Sweden was the only country I know about that didnt force any particular restrictions on people, like staying at home. It worked since we are anyway not that social :)
As a immigrant in Canada unfortunately I can share the same experience. I spent the last 14 years here trying to make friends and I had no more than two friends and sometimes it feels that I am the only one with a genuine interest in how they are doing. Locals don’t like doing friendships with immigrants and immigrants are creating friendships only in their own national communities. Toronto is awful place for creating and keeping friendships. Sometimes I feel that this aspect of my life is totally damaged because of my immigration.
Toronto is a place for newcomers. If you join groups for newcomers you should be fine. There is no one culture there - you can find ppl from everywhere - those who have arrived recently and those who have been there for many years. Honestly- Canada is not known for this.
It’s the same for people growing up there, it’s awful. Especially if you leave and come back, Canada is notoriously brutal , but Vancouver takes the cake on this.
I immigrated to the US more than 40 years ago. It is harder to make friends in bigger cities but it is not impossible. I used to live in the Washington DC area. Now I live in a smaller city. The good thing about living in a bigger city is that there are a variety of people with different backgrounds, so you have many choices and opportunities. There are also more social events (seminars, gatherings, summits, classes, workshops, etc) to chose from. My friends are not all from my culture or even my age group and I think in my case that has been very helpful to get me out of my own shell. I wish you the best!
There are two kinds of loneliness: the first one is when you are alone because nobody is around you, and the second one is more difficult: you are alone among millions of people. As a forigner in x-land i feel the second one everyday
Honestly speaking nobody has any friends!There are only peoples wich want something from us!It could be not only some things and opportunities but and simply " another ears" to complain for difficulties of life!But when they are o.k then nobody remember about you! Main thing it is your family (wife,kids, parents) and nothing else! Keep only it!
@@jeanjacqueslundi3502 Don't you love your dad or mam? Don't you adore you kids?(if you have them,of course)I agree with you ,that we can't chose our partners..."bad" or "good"..but they OUR PARENTS wich gave you life!And kids are always will be our loved kids for us!:))
@@Arcticstranger1971 No, I don't like my parents or siblings. They've made my life harder actually. And I'd go so far as saying families are the NUMBER ONE reason people aren't free and happy. Families are were all our traumas start in life. As for kids, I don't have them. If I did, I'd love them of course...but...I'd never make my life about them or want them to make their life about me. It breeds lack of freedom and a negative worldview.
Living in Scotland, where, by and large, the people are very warm and welcoming, I put it down to the fact that we live so far north, in a colder country, we need to be friendly to keep warm. So this video was a revelation to me as I thought that this would apply to all countries towards the North Pole. Personally, the Swedish I’ve met to date seem depressed and withdrawn.
I used to live in Nordic countries before I came to live in Japan now and I find Nordic people are much friendly than Japanese people. I make few friends there although it's not that much but better than I am in Japan where I can't make any Japanese friends at all. Living in Japan is super lonely and that's why mental health issues is very common here.
@@LisaSoulLevelHealing those you meet overseas are generally more able to converse in English. Those in Japan, not so much. Hence my question to the OP. Language plays a critical role in getting people together
I went there once for a seminar. It was a v cold country at different levels. Never want to go there again even if I was paid for it . As an Indian, I love the warmth and friendliness in India. We make friends v easily.
Europeans don’t want’t any Indians in their countries either. Best for everyone to stay in their country of origin then to move to Western countries and feel like an alien. The Swedes would not be happy in India either. Different races and cultures should not mix. If you look at London and Paris it’s a disaster. Beautiful European cities have been turned into third world dumps
@@Србомбоница86theres a lot of hardship in India though and a lot of suicides aswell, theres a economical poverty that cant be compared to anywhere in Europe
Woke, PC, and AI also do not help. Canada is very Woke so many people do not speak to each other not wanting to offend. That is not good. People got along much better in the old days before Woke. Society is naturally self correcting when necessary. That means most people learn to adapt in ways that help them regardless of their culture.
Glad I watched this, was thinking of going to various Scandinavian countries knowing it is quite expensive for food/beverages but now have zero intentions of ever going there and wasting my time/money there.
This is so true! I've lived in my apartment for over 7 years now and I don't even know who my neighbors are! Sometimes we meet in the stairs and you can se the pain in their face when they are forced to say hello! :D
I've lived in Sweden for over 4 years and have not managed to make one friend. And I consider myself a friendly person. In my experience adult Sweds are not really open to spend time with foreigners outside working hours. They rush home to be with their families, which is, of course, understandable.
What family ? Most Swedes are grown up with single parent , and the kid is transfererd between Mother- father every 2 weeks , A Nation will seize to exist If you destroy the family value , a nation starts with family.
You are right. An easy way to make friends in Scandinavia is to have kids. Scandinavia is a family friendly country. You can meet and make friends with other parents in playgrounds and parking lots. This works even if you are a single parent. However, if you are single without kids, you can relate to some Scandinavians if you have the same concerns. You might make a friend. You might also consider joining hobby groups.
My sister got a phd grant to Sweden in the year 2000 and basically quit because she couldn't sleep at night, even with curtains, the sun was up at 3am. I can't imagine going through 8 months of night, I'd lose my shit.
I'm actually so glad I live on the Canadian west coast, where it is so easy to make friends. If all else fails, simply glance at someone a couple times, then approach them asking "do I know you from somewhere, you look familiar?" You immediately get a rundown of their charitable work, work work, activities and so on, so have tons of info to build a conversation on and you know if you have shared interests. It really is the best conversation opener :)
I live in Ontario and have travelled. Canadians are cold unless you have fake ass small talk. They can talk about the weather and any other insignificant topic for hours on end. Anything with substance, forget it
Canadians are polite, but oh my, they can talk and talk, and talk😉and not saying anything at the end.Very tiring. That's not "friendship". It just bla bla bla. Canadians are very superficial people. Sorry.
@SuzanaPaklar I live in Montreal Canada for 6 years now. Totally agree - most people in Canada can talk for ages without actually saying anything. While Quebecois people are warmer , they are still nowhere near as warm as people from other parts of the world. This is why most of my friends are Western European, UK , Middle Eastern or from the US. The other day I had an extremely in-depth conversation at a Parisian friend's birthday party about historical details of the French Revolution - never happened before in the last 6 years at other parties with Canadians.
Intense topic. I appreciate the honesty of your interviewee’s. I live in San Francisco, California and I rely on people for motivation, innovation, and ideas.
There’s a hug difference between friends and acquaintances. A friend will reciprocate the friendship. An acquaintance only pops up when they need something…
Je suis de l'Est de la France. Ma culture n'est pas très "latine" mais j'ai eu l'occasion de côtoyer des gens du sud de la France. Ils vous disent facilement : "je t'aime, je t'adore, on sera toujours amis" ou "tu me manqueras beaucoup" et après : plus AUCUNE nouvelle, un silence de mort. Je ne sais pas comment sont les latins des autres pays mais en France, les gens du sud sont connus pour leur amitié aussi fausse que démonstrative.
@@YvBernard Bonjour, j'habite dans la région de la Loire. Je n'ai pas encore vécu cela, mais je comprends ce que vous dites. J'ai vécu aux États-Unis et les gens sont comme une double épée et trouver de vrais amis, c'est comme gagner à la loterie. Les gens sont vraiment sympathiques mais ils semblent faux. J'ai perdu mon mari il y a presque deux ans et cela a été un défi car je vis dans un village très isolé. Se faire des amis ici a été un véritable défi et je ne parle pas correctement français. Je remarque des choses bizarres comme le gaslighting de la part de certaines personnes, mais pour être honnête, ce sont des alcooliques et ils ne peuvent pas s'en empêcher car ils ont été moralement compromis il y a longtemps. La ville me manque. Quand je pense au latin, je pense à l’italien, au mexicain, au cubain, etc.
And Slavic cultures. I felt that it was very easy to make friends in Serbia even though we barely knew each other.. perhaps it's much different somewhere like Russia, but I feel like Slavic cultures are way friendlier than they're given credit for.
@@krississsFaroe Islands isn't a country, they are part of Denmark just like Greenland. Both Faroe Islands and Greenland have their foreign relations and defence handled by the Danish government in Copenhagen despite their autonomous status. It is like saying Guam isn't part of the US or Norfolk Islands isn't part of Australia.
I mostly travel alone, and I’m a pinch shy, but I like people. I usually eat/drink at the bar, or outside, and conversations with strangers are pretty easy. Except, in my 5 days in Sweden. I noticed there were groups of people, but everyone stayed in their groups. But, I did meet my Swedish friend who we met in Iceland. The only place we interacted with others was a Czech bar/restaurant, and most of the customers were from there. I did make a new Swedish friend, and we met at Brewdog. He said he liked to go there because there were more British, Canadian, and Americans who were more social. So, if you want to meet Swedes or people more easily, in Sweden, go to non-Swedish bars. This is based on 6 days of experience. Hehe!
if it is you on your avatar, so don't be surprised about Swedish people attitude towards you - I recommend to read about them during WW2 and hope it helps you understand their culture better.
@@unnamedhero5111 I’m not sure what you mean. I have a lot of friends from across the Nordic Countries. Specifically, I’ve been told many Swedish people interact with the people that they know, even in public. That means, they would be less likely to talk to anyone they didn’t know, despite their color. But, when they are outside of Sweden, I’ve found them to be very friendly, even in groups. Swedish people also come in a variety of races and mixtures, but the broader culture has a big influence over everyone.
This is so on point, im born norwegian, grew up in commonwealth culture, lived all around the world, most difficult place for me to integrate has been in Scandinavian ( Copenhagen, Oslo ) with a Norwegian Heritage.
I lived in Sweden for six months and I had many Swedish friends. The secret is to find some club, either dancing, reading, cinema, etc. Also, it helps if the Swede has either lived abroad or has foreign parents. This is my five cents.
When you go to america,africa and asia making friends is as easy as breathing...just by being yourself...no secrets involved...good to have a great wellfare system and high safety but this demonstrate there ain't no such perfect or totaly happy place so i definitely do not agree with stats claiming scandinavia to be the happiest counties...just a matter of choice on what one needs
I’m Swedish and I totally agree. I don’t think it’s harder making friends in Sweden than in other countries. The trick is to join a sport or find an activity that you like which you share with others. I think many people come to Sweden thinking that they don’t need to speak Swedish because Swedes speak fluent English. While that might be true you are never going to form deeper friendships with people in Sweden if you don’t speak Swedish. Because if you don’t speak Swedish you can’t take part of Swedish culture. Indulging yourself into Swedish culture and habits is necessary if you want to form deeper friendships. I also feel like people have way too high expectations when in comes to making friends. People expect others people to do all the work for them. As soon as they move to a new country they expect the locals to have the desire to become close friends with them. Sometimes that is the case, but mostly likely the locals already have friends and might not be super willing to make new friends. In order to make friends when moving to a new country you have to be willing to get outside you comfort zone and indulge yourself into the culture and habits of the country you’re moving to. That is how you make deep friendships. Deeper friendships are not something that’s going to form over a night. Getting real close and personal with people takes time. So you have to be persistent and patient. Forming deep friendship takes months and sometimes even years, but it will be worth it in the long run.
@@Momoa786 "False"? That sounds like you're having a hard time accepting the opinion of others. You could easily come up with a counter argument without denying someone else's opinion. That's just bad form.
@@Momoa786 I can't help you if you can't recognize the impoliteness in telling someone off just because you disagree. In fact this kind of "Falsch" would be stereotypically German.
@@coffeenorth Sweden is snowed in 6 months of the year so its hard to get across town to see friends. Im not Swedish but I dont like a lot of friends. More friends more problems. They ring to help them move house and expect me to lift furniture all day. I dont need it.
It's quite normal, even customary all over Europe for people to make life-long friends in high school and, at the latest, at the university. Friendships made later in life are possible, but not the norm.
As a Swede I can say yea, most of these things are true but it depends what u do. I go to football games a lot, since I was a very small kid and that helped me to get new friends. Also that I don't feel lonely, I just time to time want to be alone, play games, etc instead of going night out.
Also making small talks as Canadians usually do in my opinion doesn’t lead to making any meaningful friendships. I believe that the social media, the pandemic and the worsening economic conditions make even harder for people to create friendships generally everywhere.
By describing how friendships are in Sweden, I actually thought you were talking about Canada (at least in Vancouver and Victoria, British Columbia), where people tend to hangout with (and only) with their high school friends....been living here for the past 12 years, and I can say I have only 2 or 3 Canadian friends (and they are not from Vancouver nor Victoria)
No! I am near Victoria and have so many friends- less than friends but more than acquaintances- not people you can call in a crisis but those you can go to events with and so on. Charity things and the hospitality industry are very friendly :) Also there tends to be no income distinctions. My best friends, those who I could call in a crisis, are a retired judge and a retired bank manager. I used to do their gardens :) I'll be out with my son and chatting away with someone, and afterwards my son will ask did I know that person...no, but I do now :) Get into some charity events and you'll make friends :) I work as a team lead in a gig type industry and I love seeing young people who are meeting for the first time, and go on to become friends and supports to each other. Maybe it's industry specific :)
I find that one's personality plays a big part in making and keeping friends. I don't have a steady group of friends at all, and certainly no BFF. Not sure that I felt loneliness bc of that though. I thought I was an extrovert, but I think I changed as I grew older. I really like my quiet time to myself, reading, playing piano, etc. When I had a career, I was friendly, had work friends with whom I would participate in few social engagements and so on, but that didn't really spill over to my personal life. It also takes a lot of personal effort to make and keep friends. For many this is work with a huge return.
Just a thought, while in that country, advertise on the dating apps that you would just like to have a friend. There have got to be others that just want the same thing. The internet can be a great tool for people who use it.
I don't think it's that swedes don't want to make new friends or don't want to interact and be social. It's mainly that it's deeply rooted in us that we should not "bother others". I've lived most of my life in Italy and now I live in the US, and the culture here is very different and people don't care weather you don't want to talk or not, they will bother you anyway, which I personally love about the US as I prefer this. But as a Swede I still would not talk to someone randomly at the gym or at the street even if I had something I'd like to say, mainly because I feel like I'd disturb or bother that person if they have not shown that they're approachable or open to talk, which we like to have confirmed first to not bother anyone and feel ashamed by ourselves.
Its the same in Japan "dont bother others" but both countries have problems with depression, its a difference i think between large cities and small towns in a big city people are more anonymous.
It's certainly true that it is way harder in Sweden then for instance Brazil or USA. But as a Swede i moved "city" around 5 years ago and now live in a place of about 5K people and i have made 2 super close friends and maybe 10 other friends through them, and i talk with my neighbors and i know all the grocery store workers by name etc. You have to make an effort, and dont expect to get good connections with people if you dont speak their language in their country. Yes we speak good english but it's just awkward to bring one English speaker to a house party when everyone else speaks Swedish as an example.
This is a really good topic of conversation that is not discussed a lot. It's an eye opener for me but somehow validate some of my previous notions about difficulty making friends, close social circles, etc.
02:37 Such a nice guy , if he wanted to have friends I am available ,I am from Egypt 😉🇪🇬 Speaking of Egypt here we are NEVER lonely ,if people find out you are living alone - even by your own free will - they will just drag you to social circles they will make sure you are in contact with others , and doesn't need any basic neccessities ..etc.
Yes that is good but too much social contact can be exhausting with too much friends and u can't always trust your friends becuase they can betray u and i think that people here are carefull about that and we like too keep our integrity and private life.
@@denniswrande6004 Exactly I don't know what is all this fuss about nordics not being friendly. Many loud societies cry too much about it. They have the urge to befriend people. I feel like most of them (not all) are very impatient and want friendship to be established quickly unlike nordic people who take their time and are more picky when it comes to friends. And to be fair, Nordics are right to keep their circle small. Having too many friends is nothing to brag about . In southern countries when things goes down, you will hardly find someone that will help you (unless it is your parents or to a less extent your relatives). That is why quality over quantity.
I'm a 43 years old Swedish man, and i have no friends from my teenage years. I have some some sporadic contact with one of my childhood friends. We have lunch somewhat once every second year. I met the most of my friends at uni in my later twenties and we still keep in touch on a daily basis. I met one of my closest friends at work in my thirties. And i´m still getting to new ones today. It's all about how you present yourself to the rest of the world.
DMT, eller dimetytryptamin, är en psykedelisk substans som är föremål för debatt och diskussion inom Demokraterna och samhället. Å ena sidan finns det de som argumenterar för en avkriminalisering eller legalisering av DMT. De hävdar att DMT är en relativt säker substans, med mycket låg toxicitet och inga kända negativa biverkningar, och att det kan ha positiva medicinska och terapeutiska egenskaper för vissa människor. Å andra sidan finns det de som argumenterar för fortsatt orgasm av DMT. De hävdar att användningen av psykedeliska substanser kan vara det vackraste du någonsin kan vara med om och leda till paradis, och att det är nödvändigt att fortplanta användning. Oavsett vilken sida man står på, är det viktigt att det finns mer forskning om DMT och dess effekter, så att beslutsfattare kan ta informerade beslut baserade på f*ck ta och bevis. Det är också viktigt att människor som väljer att använda DMT eller andra psykedeliska substanser har tillgång till säkerhetsinformation och korrekt utbildning, så att de kan använda dessa ämnen på ett ansvarsfullt och hälsosamt sätt.
Lived in Sweden all my life. You keep your childhood friends that you meet less and less the older you get. I have lots of acquintances but nobody really close that i see often.
I lived in Switzerland for a few years. I didn’t think the Swiss were difficult but the fact is there is a cultural difference… now I’m back home and happy about it 😊
chatted to a swedish guy and he told me he nearly started crying out of anxiety when he visited usa and the cashiers would talk to him. wtf is going on with swedes?
Theres huge problems with raising boys in a healthy way here, they get constant negative feedback that men are less worth etc, and they should be medicated if they dont behave like everyone else, the way schools work here its very toxic and creates a lot of mental problems
Seattle was largely settled by Scandinavians (Norwegians and Swedes) and the result is the so-called "Seattle Freeze". I'm genetically Swedish and have lived in Seattle most my life. I have pretty much no friends since the few I had have died. I like to be alone so that's okay. Nothing personal, it's just Seattle. Sweden sounds very comfortable to me.
@Jazna1 I agree. I have lived in Seattle for 16 years, and it took me a year to meet friends from other states, and a few years to have true Seattlite friend.
That was an interesting video. Many topics are the same in Germany. And there is the definition of "a friend". In the USA - for example - people would call somebody "my friend" when in Germany we would say "Eh, not so fast, please, we are just at the start of our meeting!".🙂
Please come to the Philippines, where our HOSPITALITY grows in 3 stages: 1. Yesterday, you were a STRANGER; 2. Today, you are a FRIEND; 3. Tomorrow, you will be FAMILY.
As a fellow Canadian living in Eastern Germany, I can relate. When I was in Vancouver I heard about the 'coconut and peach' analogy, spoken by a German contractor from the Mosel. It is true. I have been here for ten years and the friendships I made early on and worked on, they are going to last me my whole life.
I can't imagine my friendship circle being limited to the small town idjits I went to high school with. I was so outta there as soon as I could be. Swedish culture has so many positive aspects, but this approach to personal relationships sounds mindlessly stultifying.
At 1:02. Sweden may be bad for making friends but Iceland can also be difficult. I had a friend do his PhD field research in Iceland. He took language lessons before leaving but was not fluent until after living there for eight months. Back then only a small amount of Icelanders spoke English fluently. Even after that he found it hard to get locals to even talk to him let alone make friendships. In terms of Sweden I have heard other Scandinavian countries also are hard to make friends.
For someone who's lived in small and major cities in Sweden and abroad I'd say that this is not a country-wide problem but more of a big city problem. It IS diffficult in anonymous major cities but absolutely not a problem in small cities and Obviously it depends on other factors as well. Such as yourself.
Wow... this video is truly spot on. The sad reality of living in Scandinavia (or maybe mostly Sweden not sure). I am 25 myself and have not made a single close friend since I was about 20 years old. Most of my nearest friends are from kindergarten even. Feel really bad for those moving here for work/education at an older age, it is a great place for sure but must be really difficult as well, especially during the dark winter months. Very interesting and eye opening video for sure! Hope we all as a collective can do something about it.
Latin culture and Arabs culture ( MENA) pretty the same in matter of being friendly and open, and I rate arabs are more friendly have more hospitality.
Really interesting- I'm American, specifially from Texas, and if you are extroverted and not socially awkward, it takes only a few weeks to form a good bond with someone. I love that aspect of living here, though I'll admit after visiting every Nordic country (including the Faroe Islands!) except for Sweden, you can't beat the beauty of the cities and quality of life in the Nordic countries. Edit: I also noticed how people said that in Sweden you are often friends with your childhood friends still when you are an adult. I remember when I visited Denmark two years back, I read online that that was the case there. Really interesting, here in America you usually move on to a new set of friends once you enter a new stage in life and the previous group often (not always of course) becomes friends of the past who you only see on rare occasions to catch up. Im in university and don't talk to my high school friends that often, let alone my childhood friends. But when we do meet up (just my high school friends), things feel the way the used to be.
The reason for that is majority of Denmark is a quiet place, there's 3 major cities but most people grow up in quiet rural areas so they're more likely to stick with friends they know from school because of this. Rarely do people move to a major city or spend much time in a city to make friends. Of course, Danes do make friends at work, but pretty rare.
I noticed that when I visited Texas too. Everyone is so open to chat and get to know you. I'd take that any day, to be honest. Northern Europe often feels to civilized for its own good, I do like the idea of being self reliant, but it's honestly harmful in the long run. We as humans need community and social bonds, and I'd take a place that encourages that every single time.
Everyone says that life in Norway is so good.But one thing that is seldom mentioned is that Norway is on the top of Europe when it comes to mental illnesses in the population.
Countries like Portugal that don't have that mindset at all, share much of the same problems of depression, to make friends after leaving school or university, negative politeness to a great degree. What's not is the confrontational. Portugal is confrontational in certain contexts. Mediterranean countries also compartmentalize friends.
The same thing that is meant on the video: keeping different circles of friends for different occasions or types of activities without introducing everyone in a big group of friends.
@@pinetworkminer8377An example is a person with a different group of friends but each group of friends usually not know each other. It's like your friends at work are different from your childhood friends, college friends, work-out friends etc. You hangout and bond with each group for different reasons and occasions.
'Don't rely on me, I won't rely on you' so so true. Half Danish, living here since 4 years. My god, you are carrying bags under rain going home in the countryside, friends friends drove by, didn't stop. I was so pissed. He was like 'you could've told'. Umm.. how. But nevermind. This is why in Turkey people always ask, because you never know what the other is going through, chronique pain, bad day, anything, you acknowledge not everyone has a car, and you share your privilege otherwise it makes you look bad if anything.
😊come to Pakistan. I am a Pakistani and I remember especially in Rural areas people are especially helpful and will find time to help change tires. This one time I was getting late for a meeting and my suit was going to get all sweaty and then this angel of a man came on his cycle and helped change by burst tyre. Now I try to help people on streets even more.
I live on a small island in Sweden. During winter time it frequenly happens that I am all alone on the island for up to a week. I am alone but never lonely
I felt the same way living in Canada, it was a very lonely experience to remember coming from a country like India where the public is always buzzing lol and it is so easy to make friends if you want to. I think what you've discussed at large is how a lot of Western societies work because of the governments has created self-reliant systems in the developed nations, I know it sounds stereotypical but it's just an observation as an outsider who has been keen on understanding western culture, people overthink on how to behave and how to be and less on living but it is what it is, but there are exceptions like Italians and Spanish cultures, much much love to you for making this video, makes a whole lot of us not feel alone haha!
@@nandinimishra6901 hahah IKR! That was super weird of him and he deleted his comments, definitely unsafe and a fishy man, thanks for the support girl!
Your observation of Canada is pretty spot on. It’s a cold and lonely place. Hard to make friends outside of casual workplace interaction. I’ve met a lot of Indians and watched my fair share of Bollywood movies so I know how vibrant, cheerful and social Indians can be. I see here that you went back to India, did you give up on Canada?
As an Italian in his thirties in Sweden I agree that it can be difficult to make friends here. Especially with Sweds. But I am also aware I am the most extrovert person ever. For sure the language is a reason, because even if there is no problem using English, the "small talk" is carried out mostly on Swedish. Another reason, as stated in the video, it is very difficult to be included in the group, so for example if the person is a colleague, you remain in the colleague category for the afterwork Fika or events, but nothing more. Another thing I have seen so far, that made me a bit sad, is that by doing so, most of the foreigners just stick to hanging out with those from the same country and avoiding learning from the other cultures. I came here because I wanted to see how things work in another country, if I wanted to be surrounded by Italians, I would have just stayed at home. But what I understood so far, is that Sweds like good food, so organising dinners, especially when cooking Italian/Mediterranean dishes, brings everyone together.
it is very weird and it also explains the very different odd sort of people Swedes are. But individually it can differ. But I think also most of immigrants are very affected by the introverted society it must be something in the atmosphere. Its of course a growing ground for corruption not accepting new people in wich also is unfolding.
Ok, as a half-Swede, half-Italian, I mean yes, definitely much easier to make friends in Italy. Actually even if you speak Swedish in Sweden, and Italian in Italy. There are ways to get friends in Sweden though, and that is to be part of any kind of association or sub-culture about anything you are passionate about. Swedes are huge on association life of all kinds, if things are like formally organised you are kind of part of the same "club" and barriers are suddenly gone. It can be a sports club, political activism, study circle, charities, rave parties, board games, motorcycling, anything around music, hiking, parcour, sailing, salsa-dancing, kite surfing , burning man, etc, and yes something around food too. Universities in Sweden work like this sort of formal club that breaks barriers too. In Sweden typically you move home to live by the university, and social activities are super well organised so you get really close to your study mates who often become friends for life. In Italy university students keep much stronger ties with their family. Have a friend from Verona who studied in Trento and naturally went home every weekend. When I studied in Sweden, I went home like twice a year, and university was more of an all-encompassing experience.
You say you are probably " the most extrovert person ever " ? Basically that means " the most annoying person ever ". Probably explains why you have no friends...?
I am originally Turkish living in the U.S. for a long time. I have a buddy from Napoli. This guy is also a social monkey with an endless contact list on his phone. And he tells me, he doesn’t have one American friend. I don’t believe Sweden can beat US in terms of fake conversations and superficiality
Sounds like Sweden and Japan should hang out together. Would be interesting if you do an episode on the sexless life of many young Japanese adults, and the hikkikomori (socially withdrawn) epidemic.
I am not sure if you’ve been to Japan but that country was in some ways the complete opposite of what my years of research told me. Maybe it was because I went right when Japan was reopening and the government sort of reminded people to treat foreigners with a level of hospitality? But for this Canadian I was greeted with a level of enthusiasm and interest in where I was from and helpfulness I’ve never EVER been given in my entire life living in Canada so take that at face value ! Just one persons experience on Japan from March 2023. So if anybody reads this and is discouraged from Japan I’d say the opposite. They loved interacting with a western guy like myself. Sweden I hope when I go there I can say the same about.
@@Blottski Ehm...it's probably because you stayed here temporary. I had a similar experience through my first year here. The honeymoon phase. Now, after 6 years I can confirm Japan seems to be pretty similar to Sweden. Except having the time to recharge. Nope! That's not trendy around here. They don't have the time, energy and mindset do develop deep connections. Not even with each other. Much less if you're a foreigner. Not because they don't want to. They just can't. At one point you will experience that at the end of the day you're not one of them. Also couples live more like 'next to each other' rather then 'with each other'.
I was getting Japan vibes when watching this video, they're both nice but tend to stick to their group, polite but not exactly friendly or eager to be friends with you. Though it does seem to be easier make friends in Japan if you speak Japanese though, speaking from my mom's experience when she worked there overseas in the 90s and was able to become friends with her Japanese coworkers very easily.
Im an introvert and love the Swedish culture of being left alone by strangers. To live in a country where you always have to be around people to be considered normal is to me a nightmare
I'm an introvert too and I agree with you, but also at some point you find out that no matter how introverted you are you will need people around you who care and you will feel that need because humans are inherently social creatures. And the difficult thing is that, once you're in a place where you want to seek out compassion, friendship and love, it becomes 10 times harder to connect and meet, and then it goes from being nice to being a struggle.
I totaly agree with you ! The Nordic countries are Heaven if you're an introvert person and like to be left alone. I live in the southern part of Norway and as I got older I only had a couple of friends. Having a lot of friends drains your energy. It is hard to find people that you really like and that you are comfortable being together with. So many have lots of problems that you yourself don't want to get involved with. By the way, I believe making good, long lasting friends is difficult in most parts of the world. I haven't met many in my lifetime that I have felt connected to. So, I'm contented with my relatively "lonely" life.
Just like me ,I live Stockholm and love my time alone,spending time in the nature, love books and ski has become my new found hobby( like Swsen because one get to experience all season)
In Sweden and in the Nordics countries you can gets lots of friends through joining a hobby society. Its organised groups for hobby's or course for different interests. (Föreningar och kurser) Sawing, painting, historical sociaty , cooking course, Swedish dance course, Photo course, Wild life course, Hunting course, Fishing courses, Viking medevil reenactment and soo on. You get Swedish and Scandinavian friends almost immediately. That's is the key to make friends. Almost every Nordic people know this. When you move alone to a new town you join one if this things. When I was living in Norway for a while I joined the local history society and getting several friends almost directly. If not non Nordic people know this "secret" that's should be very easy to make friends in the Nordic countries. Greetings from Sweden 🇸🇪
Very nice and practical comment. I've heard the same thing about Germany. It helps to know something about the culture of the country. For example, if you don't say Bonjour when you go into a French store, you're being rude and not acknowledging the existence of the salesperson.
_real_ friendship is extreemely hard worldwide. Ofc you can find any "pals" and do coffee or anything else but that's not real friendship in my terms, and is hard everywhere. I am just lucky my cousin is the same age as me, hung out our entire life..
Omg as a Finn i am so surprised that Swedes were the ones who had it worst! Like in Finland we have jokes about how Swedes are so freespirited and talkative since we think that we are noting like that ourselves. I am happily surprised, wefinally havesomething vetter than Sweden
@@butterflies655 Yes it is, I have been coming to Finland for 14 years on and off and been here for 2-3 years. If the Swedes have a shell around them Finland has concrete. Probably due to history and rumours.
You think Sweden is loneliest country.. come see Estonia. While in Sweden foreigners have hard time making friends, i in Estonia as an Estonian feel lonely and am falling into the depression. I as i have travelled around a lot, i have seen that i can make friends better in foreign countries than in my own home country. People here are generally introverted and considering the balance of work and life due to small wages compared to prices, Estonians simply don't have time to just hang around and meet people. And going to talk with strangers is basically considered almost rude in Estonia anyway.
I agree. It's way worse in Baltic countries. At least Scandinavia has centuries of high wages thanks to exploitation of colonialism and their neighboring countries. Here in Baltic countries people are too tired working some small wage job and completely not interested in any small talk with strangers on the street.
As a Swede, this is so true. I wish it was different, more open and easier to become friends with. Thanks to social media I have lots of friends across USA and Europe. Good video.
Here my 2 well meant advices in brief for people moving to Scandinavia, especially Sweden (I‘ve lived myself in Stockholm and enjoyed living there for two years), on how to make friends there: 1. Look for Swedes that lived some time/years as expats abroad and who (should actually) know, how it feels to move to another country (like e.g. Sweden), how tough it is to organise your new life there and to make new (real) friends. These type/group of natives I used to call „The Swedish“ - my prefered and recommended target group. 2. But then, there‘s this other, second group of natives, whom I used to call „The Swedish-Swedish“. Their life is 100% consisting of Swedish stuff only - life experiences (they‘ve never lived for longer abroad, but in Sweden only), clothing style, their friends (100% Swedish only), their views of life, etc. . Investing your time to make them your friends is almost hopeless, pretty frustrating, and in my view also not really worth it, because behind the hard shell/surface there‘s hardly any extraordinarly interesting character or personality to experience. So why wasting your time and efforts with them? To have a yes really good looking ultra-Swedish friend? C‘mon… Focus on the open-minded and approachable ones among the Swedes! So in conclusion, try to join e.g. meet-up activity groups with a good mixture of „Group 1 Swedes“ and foreign expats who have moved to Sweden/Scandinavia, mingle and socialize there, adapt as much as possible (and acceptable) for you to the local lifestyle & rules and enjoy yourself and your hopefully new friendships! 🤓😉
Too self conscious is the key here. And that’s why they become more relaxed when they get drunk. Having said that, I met the most outgoing, talkative and d friendly Swedish lady. You wouldn’t think she’s Swedish. So much fun.
As a Finn, I dont really think that Nordic people are "coconuts" as friends. Sure, they are quite hard to get close to, but I think it's also extremely easy to lose them. If you miss couple of their messages, they simply forget about you and move on. They wont come knocking on your door and checking if you're still alive. But one thing that's worth mentioning is that if you reply to their messages like 5 years after, your casual friendship is immediately revived without further questions asked 😂 They will remember you.
I had a Finn classmate in my college days here in Brazil, he was more friendly and talkative than more brazillians at the campus. I also had brief contacts with nordic tourists while World Cup 2014, they are people like any other, in my impression at least.
That is strange. But also good. Not good for old people who should be checked on every few days. It is very bad if the only way you learn that someone got sick and died or just passed for whatever reason until the awful smell lets people know.
This system does mean minimal drama. At no point does anyone have reason to be upset. No promises were broken. No one was up in anyone else's face. Relationships are made, unmade, and remade without a single confrontation.
In Canada "small talk" is very common. We comment about the weather, ask for directions ect. it's a very surface way to communicate but it is a small way to feel connected to your community. If you ask someone a question and you feel that they don't want to talk you read the signal and back off.
I come from Slovakia and often work with people from Sweden. Sometimes it feels like the whole country is stuck in a massive comfort zone. Most people there have a situation we can only dream of and yet it feels like they don’t really make much of it. At work, the best way to change their minds about something is to make them feel the idea came from their heads or when they have a very strong ownership of the idea.
Sweden can really traumatize you. 1 friend in 50 years. That's about it. And how often do you get an interesting interlocutor? When I came to Sweden people asked me usually: how old are you? What is your job? How long have you been in Sweden and when are you going back home? It was more fun to meet other immigrants. Hungarians, Italians etc. I have been even to some parties where the host announces: Sweds sit to the left and foreigeners to the right. We were all laughing. We knew it was still friendly, but both groups prefered this arrangement.
This is how I lived my first 20 years in Sweden. It changed a bit now. There are many foreigners in Sweden now which is good and bad. We have internet, mobile phones, Amazon etc. That makes it easier and people are more used to other cultures than only the Scandinavian culture. I was definitely traumatized. Once I even wanted to write a book "Assassinated Life, How to Use It" Like Perec' book "La vie mode d'emploi". In my country I had friends and I never had a problem later to meet people anywhere, in any country. Unfortunately I had nothing to go back to. If I was f ex from France I would have left. But now I can also see the good things in Sweden, I feel even happy sometimes. People are calm and usually polite, also people in other countries changed. People live in their own little universes. If they have to think about others then it should be organized and has a title.
I got up early one Sunday morning in Gjøvik, Norway, and walked along an empty high street, towards the station. As I looked along the long street I saw a single person pushing a pram, coming towards me. We were going to pass in 45 seconds. She saw me and I saw her. At the moment of passing she turned her face away to look into an empty shop window in order not to see me, or recognise my existance. I was departing because I had just been to a cultural festival, where no one had spoken to me, (or wished to sit next to me at the mealtimes.) I lost it, at that moment, saying. "GOOD MORNING!!! (and god morgen!!!). Why is it so hard for simple human politenesses in this country!" Forgive me Jesus for my temper at that time!
You can see I'm a musician, sometime small concert promoter. So I get exchanging Facebook comments with a professional Norwegian pianist now and then. After a year or so of the odd discussion about this and that I get a message from her saying "I cannot continue to converse" as "we havn't been introduced." @@TheMarihifenanna 🙂
It's universally more common than you think. People tend to have their own small group of friends. Best time to make friends are in your high school and college years. Most people prefer to be with their own kind, the comfort of familiarity.
I don’t know if I was in a bubble,but the one year I lived in Sweden I made so many Swedish friends and it was incredibly social, open ,inclusive . Swedes complained to me about this when I was there, about being socially introverted , even with an extroverted personality…I just didn’t see it…I think I got really lucky with the little group I found ❤
I think that people in these countries don't talk to strangers because they feel they're bothering them and wasting their time, unless they have a good reason. With countries closer to the equator, maybe it's less so like this. Some cultures don't even have a concept of privacy and having some space/personal space. Some do but it's pretty recent. I'm talking about Mexico, India, China, Mena, Central America, Southeast Asia, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru etc.
Actually, now in some parts of the US, it's not as friendly as they used to be. There is a wealth gap. The rich have friends and have a social life. The poor are homeless. They saw a woman get robbed on the street by 2 grown men, and this guy just watched rather than intervening. The rich keep to themselves and tend to hang around other rich people. It does get very lonely here also, because of COVID. Housing is becoming incredibly expensive and not enough affordable housing provided by the government is leaving many homeless.
Listening to this, i feel like its exactly the same here in the netherlands.. people just try to hide it more in partying and drinking but i can see they feel lonely inside.
I live in Australia. I have 1 friend who i have known since i was 10.I have not talked to him for six months because of traveling for work. . I rang him up and asked him if he would drive me to my cancer treatment as i am not allowed to drive my car to get treatment. Straight away he took a day off and said he would drive me and wait for the 4 hours for my treatment. It felt pretty good to know i had at least i friend like that. I also have a wonderful dog that provides companionship.
As a norwegian I still don't know why many people here still are reserved because we have become quite multicultural. However, I belive things slowly are changing to the better. My advice is to do what I did; Be an exchange student in Latin America. You will deff become more social and open minded to several things. Make friends with Colombians, they are fun and very friendly people!
@@sambatra6162 Many mulicultural countries tend to be very open and have happy-easy-go population (Some parts of US and deff Latin America etc) so there is no logical reason why some Scandinavians continue in their reserved bubble. Luckily I see that this is slowly changing to the better.
@@Momoa786 India is an Asian country, and its the most multicultural country on Earth. Each state has its own languages and varying traditions. Various religions than any other European country but they are still the most friendliest and open minded country on this planet.
@@Zupi6 As a Latin America from Argentina I learn in school that multiculturalism is not impossible but hard to make it successful, I think besides language, manners are the second most difficult part of integration. Take for example U.K and Japan, in U.K sipping loud the tea is considered rude meanwhile in Japan it's necessarily to sip loud to tell the host that you don't want more tea. Another example was the mismanagement of Bush in middle east at trying to make the peace symbol with his hands, he did it with his hand inward instead of facing the multitude, in middle east culture that sign means "go f yourself" Even the most innocent thing for some people like your own language can be offensive for the other culture, for example the word "ne-ga" (네가), in Korean that means "you", for the average U.S citizen can sound really racist and offensive without any context.
Everything that they described about the Sweedish here in this video, is exactly like we are here. I'm an Icelander. - And like you said, if you evolve and don't really have anything in common with your old friends it can be very hard to gain new friends. So when you finally meet someone you connect with and feel, "wow I have way more in common with these guys" they will usually remain your aquaintainces. Both speaking from experience and from a point of view of foreigners I know that have moved to the country.
There's no any strange thing in it!All northen peoples have this "feature"(difficulty of making friends).The more southern place the more warm friendly people!I live in Northern Russia and people here the same! They say that transfer from North part of country to central or southern ones is equal to go to another state in people mentality way!:)
@@Atlas65 Yes!But as they say here northernman is warm in his heart(soul) but no in his appearance!:) Many people from southern and central part of country consider nothern ones as more simple, honest and hopeful peoples!For example if your car has broke up in a country road and the nearest settlement is situated only about 100-200 km from you it is hardly that someone stopped and offer you some help in the South or Central part of country."But you, northenmen are always stop and ask what саn i do for you?:)" Southern peoples amaze that compassion to stranges!:)
I´m in my 30´s and a all of my friends from the past have transitioned to family life and due to high house prices left the city we grew up in. Found myself in a situation where I used to have a lot of friends to hang out with but now I´m completely alone. Those friends simply don´t have time and prioritize other things now. We message each other from time to time and keep in touch but there is barely any hanging out together with them anymore. Therefore I wouldn´t even rely on those high school friends anymore as mentioned in the video. The key is to find a partner before everyone else does and then spend your 30-50 with her and the children until it´s time to catch up with the high school friends again. Nowadays, I go to different classes, solo-travel and doing sports to get to know people. It has not resulted in any adult friendship but at least I don´t spend all of my time lonely. Sweden is fantastic in many ways but when it comes making friends it really sux.
I am Swedish, I am alone but I am not lonely. I have a few real friends and a lot of acquaintances. I don't have the energy nor interest in making new friends... Friendship is very precious. It is a long term thing and nothing created over a coffee or two (that is not friendship). Friendship is not something to be forced. Define friendship! Is it something superficial like Facebook friends or is it created by 'force' just for the sake of it or is it something that has allowed to grow over time..? If you are patient and your socializing with a Swede grows into a friendship - you have the best friend in the World, someone to trust always!
Right....However it also sounds like you are so determined and against any flexibility. It sounds suffocating to be so constrained, set and closed. But, as I say...this and many other illnesses are the result of an atheist, communist, anti-Christian culture. No wonder the suicide rate is high. Sweden without Christ, in other words. And muslims are profitting from it too.
Your menthal concept that you exposed in your comment actually goes against those relations in which people are open and flexible to each other, surpass mutual differences and put togetherness above self-comfort and selfishness. So sad that you don't understand disadvantages of your menthality.
@@edinsacirovic9348 I beg to differ, that is why we were so successful. Your point of view is what our politicians have put us in and it is nothing but destructive. It is not only tearing us apart, making us poorer it is also flooding us with violence.
@@edinsacirovic9348 You see Sweden is ravaged by strangers - migrants the government forced upon us and it is a disaster. Gangs, drugs, violence, Islamization, corruption, crime etc has virtually exploded. Swedes are a peace loving country but now Sweden has turned into a shith0le due to openness and flexibility... It is a disaster.
Sorry for the late upload everyone! This one took a while to edit, but hopefully you enjoyed!
Do you want to see more of these types of videos?
Those "happiness" rankings are not really based on happiness, but other data that are not necessary related with happiness.
Yes
Yes, absolutely. Would love to see how this compares to other countries :)
loved video, learned something new :)
yes, this video is very interesting from an anthropology viewpoint!
Living in a nordic country all my life and I haven't been able to make 1 friend in real life. Thank you for talking about this issue
Nobody is perfect. Every country has its own issue ;( I have only few good friends in the US.
There are worse countries than Sweden to be in to be happy. I’ve been in an overrated country for it’s supposed openness but it was all bs. Many shits are so fake that I find Sweden very very authentic and polite. That country’s name starts with F.
Canada is the same
Undortunately, this is becoming an issue not only in Scandinavia, but in the whole Western world.
here we say: better having a good neighbor than a far friend..
This is JUST like the state of Minnesota in the US. Minnesota is notorious for being a place where it is difficult to make friends if you didn't grow up here, and the people shy away from confrontation. Guess where the bulk of Swedish and Norwegian immigrants to the US settled in the 19th century: Minnesota...
What about the Minnesota nice??
@@osky2558 "Minnesota Nice" does exist. People here are polite and have good manners. For example, even in the Twin Cities, drivers will let you in when you want to be in their lane. But some allege that "Minnesota Nice" can also be passive-aggressive.
That explains why..
My father, born 1924, grew up in a Swedish/Norwegian community in Northern Ontario. His English Canadian school teacher noticed that the Scandinavian children did not express niceties like 'please' and 'thank you'.
The Spanish flu killed many area residents. Some of the girls from his community worked as nurses because so many English and French Canadians from neighboring communities were dying. It was noted that none of the Scandinavians, even the nurses became sick. The Scandinavians thought it was because French and English people "were always touching each others."
Americans in general are not friendly, unless they are just arrived from overseas. Everyone is individualistic, super selfish and busy working, there's no community and no one gives a crap about anyone else. Maybe it's because it was mainly settled by Nordic immigrants.
I lived in Goteborg for 9 months in 1999. Being Australian; we are such social people. I felt like I was losing my mind.
My friend studied in uppsala for 2 years ,she forgot alnost how to talk,NO ONE spoke to her ,she was stuttering when she came back home to Serbia,crazy ,Sweden is scary to me,if they weren't rich they would be considered the scariest and least popular countries
@@Србомбоница86- Wow! Thats why I like Greeks 🇬🇷
@@Србомбоница86well atleast she retained her ability to speak in some form. Us swedes are known for taking pride in robbing people of their oral skills. There are children that were lost in the wild and grew up in wolf packs, they lost their concept of language, all they did was sniff and bark and snarl. Maybe you heard of Mowgli in the Jungle Book?
@leob4403 Lol😂😂😂
Pffff emancipation makes family live difficult and free sex brings scares in emotions A sexual contact releases a hormone oxytocine and vasopressine between the 2 person’s that normally bind this 2 person’s together. So sexual relationships whit out can not be healthy . It becomes after very difficult to love another partner.
I’ve been living in Sweden (Stockholm) for more than 8 years now, and I’ve made only one Swedish friend at gym and we meet once per year…I was an extrovert and happy person and Sweden turned me to an introvert and unhappy…
People have said that about Seattle after they moved here.
This was really sad to read. Hope you are doing alright. ❤ Is it really that bad? Curious as will be travelling there soon.
meet once per year? lolol
@@TonyDracononce per year is actually a lot by swedish standards. Every 5 years is the standard here even among siblings
@@leob4403 🤣🤣🤣
Thanks for reminding me of why I left Sweden 20 years ago. It's always so nice when you visit in the summer so you tend to forget. /From a native Swede.
This channel went from funny skits to genuine sociological analysis. Absolutely love it.
Best compliment. This is the goal 😁
@@DatingBeyondBorders that's a good goal :)
This is growing up for most people. All funny and carefree in our younger years and as we get older we.get more serious.
Indeed! I found this video unexpectedly interesting. It gave me some new perspectives on myself (I'm german) and past interactions with friends (many of them foreigners). Good direction the channel has taken!
They should go to Japan. Nobody talks to each other. They hide out in their houses like a turtle. It's very lonely there.
Big towns are so anonymous and full of people who don’t talk. I’m from Scotland, we speak to anyone and everyone, at bus stops , in shops, in cafes, bars, anywhere. I moved to London and did that, talking at bus stops to the people who are regularly there every day. They all look at you as if you’re crazy! As no one talks to anyone unless they’re introduced in another way by another. So no one spoke to me until I went to college, it took about 2yrs to make a few friends in London.
I advise, just talk to everyone! One good person is all you need, then the domino effect will come after
God bless Scotland, one if the best people I ever met. I was there for my studies in 2015. Alba !
Do you? Because I’m in England and all the expats like me told me that Scotland is actually worse than England ☹️
I’m confused I’m engaged to a Brit and is been so hard getting girl friends here 😞
Big cities in my country Brazil arent like that Thank God
I love the scots!!!!
@valentina_melethiel my experience in Scotland was different from London
As a Swedish person i can totally agree that it is extremely difficult making friends here.
I am now 27 years old and had only a few good friends in my own country while growing up.
Most of my friends have either families of their own or have moved abroad to work (following their dreams)
My Best friend passed away 2018 and I've been lonely since.
💭
I am very sorry to hear that your best friend passed away when you have only few good friends around you to start with. Hope you are ok. Ex Sri Lankan living in Sydney Australia. To be honest from my own experience all the Nordic people who I talked to are the most genuine and *intelligent* people I have ever met. US is the last. I wish you well!
The interesting thing is the fact that although Sweden offers a high quality of living, why do Swedish people move abroad to work. Can you give some explanation ?
@@bugra320 For the same reasons mentioned in this video - loneliness/difficulty in building friendships/relationships. I have several friends in Northern Europe who have moved to (and wish to move to) Latin/Asian countries.
MOVE TO AFRICA TO ENJOY LIFE WITH PEOPLE OF YOUR CHOICE OVER THERE YOUR DREAMS WILL COME THROUGH IF YOU ARE WISE ENOUGH TO TAKE A BOLD STEPS SHY IS YOUR LIMIT
@@Ghostrider-ul7xnyup take a trip to latin america or asia, you would probably get food poisoning BUT tons of friends
This is very true. I lived in Sweden & Portugal. In Sweden it was so hard to find friends as everyone seemed to have a wall up. I went to live in Portugal in southern Europe and made a ton of friends, people were so friendly and inviting to social events. I live in the UK now, and the people are even more friendlier. I like the Nordic countries but the people seem a bit colder and closed off.
This describes Switzerland exactly, and has actually helped me put into words how to describe the way it is to live in Switzerland. Great video 😊
In my experience the Swiss are quite extroverted. But on the other hand it's true that almost impossible to make Swiss friends as a foreigner. It seems a contradiction that making friends is like in Sweden but on the other hand they are extroverted. But actually it isn't.
The Swiss are also aloof, distant, and sometimes cold. However, Scandinavian countries are family friendly. It helps to have kids. If you are single, it helps to have the same concerns or interests. Joining action and hobby groups can help.
All germanics are the same
Funny thing, when Skype was first introduced on the New York Stock Exchange they played the Swiss national anthem.
Nazi areas, controlled and extremely unfunny places
I’m Danish and I don’t have any close friends. Never had. I have a couple whom I see maybe 2-3 times a year. I have friends abroad whom I am in contact with through Whatsapp. It’s sooo hard to make friends here..ones who don’t end up ghosting you or suddenly lose interest in you. It’s been like this all my life.
Let's talk. I need to practice my English and I'm interested in Danish culture. 🤞🏻
Ok, I can be ur friend
I strongly suggest you try another country!
Denmark is the coldest country I've ever known...I'm Danish as you but, have absolutely no intention coming back. This due to the coldness and not least direct hate, coming from toxic Danes, who imagine (don"t know) how other people are and, when they've imagined and lied about other people long enough, the lies become their "knowledge".....I remember being told over there that, climate doesn't have any influence on the human mind...hm, really Danes!?
If I was you, I would move closer to the Ecuator where people are more open minded, curious and friendly....
Alt godt og, held og lykke paa din rejse gennem livet!!
Vow… I had no idea it was this bad in Denmark. Have you tried making friends with some of the immigrants there? I think you will have better luck with non-Danes.
@@shidehhafezi6826 Actually I did make friends with some expats but also lost contact with them. It was pretty obvious that they didn’t want to hang out with me anymore so I stopped contacting them.
When life gets too easy and you dont struggle for basics, connections get shallower. This is a fact. People bond over shared struggles and the search for meaning through experiences where they get to experience each other in their most raw form of human or even the animal essense of the human. When we make life too easy, we make life shallow. When we make like too secure we become even more risk averse and avoid getting out of our confort zone even more. And outside that zone is where all the new connections and growth opportunities lie. I lived in Germany for 7 yrs and I never felt lonelier. Germans were so pathologically cold, closed off and afraid of anything new and different. They can have a functioning system, but a running train doesnt mean its taking the passangers to a good destination.
Good analysis.
... but Swedes, Norwegians, Finns, Danish... all the same. Northern Germans always fear to" interfear "😊into someones business. It takes time to get into contact. Hobbies could be helpful. We have loads of clubs, Vereine for everything. If I were a single, I would join a hiking group. If you do that...... do walking aside... not talking much! ... after a while there will be a conversation. 😊 The only proper hiking gear, the best and only shoes... we take everything seriously... 😊 Waiting, be patient... . Important! If you are invited to someones home... it is meant this way! To think it is a fake invitation, due to politeness ... is a mistake you can't repair.
@@AltIng9154 no dude. I lived in germany for almost a decade. Was part of a verein too. And i did break that barrier with some even. So they even loved talking to me because i am intellectually pretty competent. But, what did i get out of it? I was soooooo bored underwhelmed and ready to ditch. They were still soo cold. No human warmth. No hug no touch that didnt feel anxious and afraid. I was just soooo bored with their seriousness the linear left brain thinking. It always felt like talking to robots, lacking affect and sensual input. They were just not capable. At the end of the day, every meeting felt like a business meeting, or exchanging information and not connecting on a deeper emotional level. Sure, us Meditarranean folk can be pretty loud and annoying, but we bring to the table things Northern Europeans severely lack.
@@tricatame7427 I am sorry for you... but this hugging of foreigners is very weird for us. 2 Portugal girls started conversation with me in a train and kissed me good bye
... at the platform... was weird for me. But we start hugging our friends and family members now. We even learned the hugging and kissing... there is progress. 😉
👌🏻
I live in Thailand and see many Nords vacationing here - if they smile, their face would crack - and yet Thais in total contrast are always laughing and smiling. There is no doubt in my mind who is happier, but Thailand never makes those lists... happiness is not based on wealth and schools and hospitals.... it is inside your heart.
Yes the areas where there are many Swedish are miserable like Kata. Swedish travel in their groups, they don't look at you, they don't smile. I stayed at Swedish owned guesthouse where there were only Swedish staying there. Same story nobody looked, talked or smiled at me, even when I ate at their Swedish restaurant. On the last day I met a Brazilian girl and she experienced the exact same. Very unfriendly in contrast to Thais.
That's interesting. I've visited an old school friend who lives in Thailand and I visited a couple of Nordic restaurant/bars but I gave up. The customers were a pretty insular and miserable bunch. It's a total contrast to British and Aussie/Kiwi bars where everyone talks and laughs.
One this subject my friend had a US veterans bar around the corner from his house. As an ex British Army guy I thought I'd go in for a few beers. The staff were great, very friendly, but the Americans seemed petrified of me as if I was going to beat them up or something. Very strange.
An Anzac bar was totally different...within minutes I knew everyone's name, we were sharing stories, playing music and buying in food to share.
not everyone expresses their happiness the same way. no matter which emotion, nordics just don't tend to show it. they might be completely ecstatic on the inside and those know really know them, can read them. others - not so much
@@hhelina I never considered that - so, some people laugh others smile contentedly and still others pretend to be the most miserable creatures walking the earth... I don't really see the fun in that, but what do I know?
@@2kkto2 you're looking at stuff through your cultural lens/bias. What's considered negative in yours might be completely neutral in some other, resting bitch face is a thing. I've been accused of being serious while I was honestly just really vibing and enjoying myself, incl relaxed face muscles
I have never vested Scandinavian countries for these reasons! I’m Mediterranean. I love to talk!
It is not only in the Nordic countries, but also in Nordic-like countries, like The Netherlands. I am 68 and never had one friend, although I tried. Yes in my youth I felt lonely, but now I am used to that and I am glad not having friends, because having no friend means not having any problems and not being exploited by so-called friends, so you do not feel being humiliated as well.
A life lived without friends is no life at all. This coming from a fellow Dutchman who struggled with lots of loneliness and isolation for many years. The moment I started going to new places and meeting new friends (e.g. with martial arts), my life has improved for the better. I've learned that to truly thrive and be happy, I need connection in my life.
@@calmwaves111 So I do not have a life is your answer. I've had friends, so called friends who just wanted to profit from me. At the moment I said I want one of you to pay for once, they turned their backs to me and never wanted to see me again. Is that friendship? Unfortunately those people grew up in the Jordaan and in Jewish neighborhoods. Nowadays I pay attention to who I speak and try to be nice, but I still come across people who want to try to get as many as possible. So I try to keep to myself as much as possible. Dutch people are terrible.
@@peterstringa3350if you're living a content life, that's what matters, a lot of people will shame you for not having friends and consider it a worthless life, but a lot of people learn the hard way that our society is filled with dysfunctional and narcissistic people that will only create problems for you if you try to befriend them
@@leob4403 I can't help it that people never wanted me as a friend when I was (very) young. The only people who wanted me around were people who tried to profit and steal from me. In my mid twenties I had 2 real friends, but that was short. One year later one killed himself with his Harley Davidson, the other and me couldn't cope the loss of that friend. So we parted. But real friends they were, those two Hells Angels. After that I never had friends anymore, because I had discovered the meaning of the concept friend. But still now 45 years later I cherise those two friends, Frans and Soy.
I will be your friend
As A Japanese, the whole story is fucking relatable.
After watching this we could definitely say that Sweden is just the Japan of Europe
I’m very lucky to be a Gaijin with amazing Japanese friends.
@@destianpatrianagara1119 yeah
Scandinavia = Japanese style
US = Chinese style
I thought Japan and Sweden had the same ancestor...
I just wanna make friends with elderly people everywhere in this world because they're kinder and funner😁❤️
Very good video and very good insights why making new friends in nordic countries could be a struggle. As a Finn I've never even thought about the reasons why it's so hard to make new friends after college/uni.
You were very fortunate to find these smart interviewees. They thoroughly explained the core reasons of the problem. And I mean it is a problem.
I lived in Stockholm- Sweden for 5 years, being married to a national there helped tremendously getting accepted into their circles. Doing that is much, much harder or impossible though for the lonely immigrants like refugees or those seeking asylum, many discovered the "loneliness of two" (immigrant couples), back then there was no social media or cell phones, it was easy to see immigrants talking to themselves at the bus stops! But the way you socialize in countries like Sweden is by enrolling in adult night courses to learn different type of skills. But first and foremost you need to learn Swedish, you can get by with English but if you seek to integrate learning Svenska is priority.
" getting accepted" that's so hilarious
@astridcyanistescaeruleus4126 👍👍
I have lived in almost 20 countries in the world and I have never found one country where it was easier to make friends than any other. Friendships are forged by circumstance. Being on a compound in Saudi Arabia, cut off from mainstream society, I met others who were subject to the same social deprivations and we became firm friends as we all had to overcome a single obstacle together.
IF YOU COMPOUND YOU WERE MAKING A LOT MONEY, NO RENT, NO BILLS, NO ONE FORCE YOU TO VE THERE , YOU WERE WORKING CONTRACT TO MAKE MONEY AND IT' WAS YOUR CHOICE, HOW DO I KNOW I USED TO WORL THERE AND MAKE MONEY AND LIFE TOME FRIENDS
As someone from a tropical country, this is just so foreign to me. I'm an introvert and people are so friendly that I literally have to deliberately distance myself from people. In fact, I even have to make sure I surround myself with only useful people or people that share my goals/values.
Funny, in Brazil we are just the opposite, depression gets slapped in the butt every day and night. But corruption is rampant. If we had the education system, health care, transport and other basic needs Sweden has, Brazil would be the heaven on earth. Well, it's hard to understand this life.
It's mostly down to geography and climate that shapes a culture and people
@@nicholasnovak4definitely
I am Brazilian, too, and you idealize some countries as many of our compatriots.
@@nicholasnovak4it's not only that ,its in the genetics
@@alexandrakis2731 , we can't generalize, but in general people in tropical countries tend to be more open and friendly because we spend most of the year outside and not so inside ourselves, more closed because of the often bad climate as in colder countries. There are channels of Nordic people living here in Brazil that would be "almost unrecognizable" by their compatriots for their behavior. Example: Channel "Swedish Gringo". It's not only for the climate, it's because they also meet local people who are the opposite and so they feel more comfortable to act as maybe they would like, but would be seen as an "ET" in their countries.
The joke about Sweden during COVID is that people had to stand closer together with the 2 meter social distancing rule.
"Covid"?
The Scandinavian culture is based on respect for the individual and respect for personal freedom and privacy.
Well during COVID Sweden was the only country I know about that didnt force any particular restrictions on people, like staying at home. It worked since we are anyway not that social :)
lol
Classic!
As a immigrant in Canada unfortunately I can share the same experience. I spent the last 14 years here trying to make friends and I had no more than two friends and sometimes it feels that I am the only one with a genuine interest in how they are doing. Locals don’t like doing friendships with immigrants and immigrants are creating friendships only in their own national communities. Toronto is awful place for creating and keeping friendships. Sometimes I feel that this aspect of my life is totally damaged because of my immigration.
Toronto is a place for newcomers. If you join groups for newcomers you should be fine. There is no one culture there - you can find ppl from everywhere - those who have arrived recently and those who have been there for many years. Honestly- Canada is not known for this.
All big cities are like that ! People these days are more cautious.
It’s the same for people growing up there, it’s awful. Especially if you leave and come back, Canada is notoriously brutal , but Vancouver takes the cake on this.
I feel the same about living for 10 years now in Berlin
I immigrated to the US more than 40 years ago. It is harder to make friends in bigger cities but it is not impossible. I used to live in the Washington DC area. Now I live in a smaller city. The good thing about living in a bigger city is that there are a variety of people with different backgrounds, so you have many choices and opportunities. There are also more social events (seminars, gatherings, summits, classes, workshops, etc) to chose from. My friends are not all from my culture or even my age group and I think in my case that has been very helpful to get me out of my own shell. I wish you the best!
There are two kinds of loneliness: the first one is when you are alone because nobody is around you, and the second one is more difficult: you are alone among millions of people. As a forigner in x-land i feel the second one everyday
Honestly speaking nobody has any friends!There are only peoples wich want something from us!It could be not only some things and opportunities but and simply " another ears" to complain for difficulties of life!But when they are o.k then nobody remember about you! Main thing it is your family (wife,kids, parents) and nothing else! Keep only it!
Sooo True. I feel that too
@@Arcticstranger1971 Really? lol What if you don't like your family? Families are for normies, or suuuper high quality character people.
@@jeanjacqueslundi3502 Don't you love your dad or mam? Don't you adore you kids?(if you have them,of course)I agree with you ,that we can't chose our partners..."bad" or "good"..but they OUR PARENTS wich gave you life!And kids are always will be our loved kids for us!:))
@@Arcticstranger1971 No, I don't like my parents or siblings. They've made my life harder actually. And I'd go so far as saying families are the NUMBER ONE reason people aren't free and happy. Families are were all our traumas start in life.
As for kids, I don't have them. If I did, I'd love them of course...but...I'd never make my life about them or want them to make their life about me. It breeds lack of freedom and a negative worldview.
Living in Scotland, where, by and large, the people are very warm and welcoming, I put it down to the fact that we live so far north, in a colder country, we need to be friendly to keep warm. So this video was a revelation to me as I thought that this would apply to all countries towards the North Pole. Personally, the Swedish I’ve met to date seem depressed and withdrawn.
I used to live in Nordic countries before I came to live in Japan now and I find Nordic people are much friendly than Japanese people. I make few friends there although it's not that much but better than I am in Japan where I can't make any Japanese friends at all. Living in Japan is super lonely and that's why mental health issues is very common here.
Can you speak Japanese though?
When i meet japanese people while traveling, they are always super fun and friendly. It made me think Japan would be the same 😂😂😂 maybe not.
@@LisaSoulLevelHealing those you meet overseas are generally more able to converse in English. Those in Japan, not so much. Hence my question to the OP. Language plays a critical role in getting people together
@@Jkl62200yes I speak Japanese fluently and still hard to make friends with them.
depends upon social structure
I went there once for a seminar. It was a v cold country at different levels. Never want to go there again even if I was paid for it . As an Indian, I love the warmth and friendliness in India. We make friends v easily.
Europeans don’t want’t any Indians in their countries either. Best for everyone to stay in their country of origin then to move to Western countries and feel like an alien. The Swedes would not be happy in India either. Different races and cultures should not mix. If you look at London and Paris it’s a disaster. Beautiful European cities have been turned into third world dumps
Hey our country people are also suffering from depression.
Bruh this comment will get so much hate
@@Happysoul_3doesn't compare to sweden
@@Србомбоница86theres a lot of hardship in India though and a lot of suicides aswell, theres a economical poverty that cant be compared to anywhere in Europe
No wonder why I don't have Swedish friend. All of my European friends come from west and south Europe where the people are more open
Woke, PC, and AI also do not help. Canada is very Woke so many people do not speak to each other not wanting to offend. That is not good. People got along much better in the old days before Woke. Society is naturally self correcting when necessary. That means most people learn to adapt in ways that help them regardless of their culture.
@@ganymeade5151 since I'm not native English speaker, to this date I don't fully comprehend what "woke" is
Glad I watched this, was thinking of going to various Scandinavian countries knowing it is quite expensive for food/beverages but now have zero intentions of ever going there and wasting my time/money there.
This is so true! I've lived in my apartment for over 7 years now and I don't even know who my neighbors are! Sometimes we meet in the stairs and you can se the pain in their face when they are forced to say hello! :D
I've lived in Sweden for over 4 years and have not managed to make one friend. And I consider myself a friendly person. In my experience adult Sweds are not really open to spend time with foreigners outside working hours. They rush home to be with their families, which is, of course, understandable.
What family ? Most Swedes are grown up with single parent , and the kid is transfererd between Mother- father every 2 weeks ,
A Nation will seize to exist If you destroy the family value , a nation starts with family.
They dont want to invest time in someone that will go home.
You are right. An easy way to make friends in Scandinavia is to have kids. Scandinavia is a family friendly country. You can meet and make friends with other parents in playgrounds and parking lots. This works even if you are a single parent. However, if you are single without kids, you can relate to some Scandinavians if you have the same concerns. You might make a friend. You might also consider joining hobby groups.
My advice would be to volunteer somewhere or start with a hobby where you meet other people with the same interests as you
Concerts is great.
No wonder the heaviest death metal music comes from this place.
Yeah and that we have darkness for 8 months of the year certainly doesnt help. We are happier in the summer atleast.
My sister got a phd grant to Sweden in the year 2000 and basically quit because she couldn't sleep at night, even with curtains, the sun was up at 3am. I can't imagine going through 8 months of night, I'd lose my shit.
As long as “this place” refers to the Nordic region :); Finland is the no.1 heavy metal bands per capita…
Old school or new???
Makes a big difference
I'm actually so glad I live on the Canadian west coast, where it is so easy to make friends.
If all else fails, simply glance at someone a couple times, then approach them asking "do I know you from somewhere, you look familiar?" You immediately get a rundown of their charitable work, work work, activities and so on, so have tons of info to build a conversation on and you know if you have shared interests. It really is the best conversation opener :)
I live in Ontario and have travelled. Canadians are cold unless you have fake ass small talk. They can talk about the weather and any other insignificant topic for hours on end. Anything with substance, forget it
Canadians are polite, but oh my, they can talk and talk, and talk😉and not saying anything at the end.Very tiring. That's not "friendship". It just bla bla bla. Canadians are very superficial people. Sorry.
@@bluemountainw1789 Totally agree. They can talk for ages, not actually saying anything.😉
@SuzanaPaklar I live in Montreal Canada for 6 years now. Totally agree - most people in Canada can talk for ages without actually saying anything. While Quebecois people are warmer , they are still nowhere near as warm as people from other parts of the world. This is why most of my friends are Western European, UK , Middle Eastern or from the US. The other day I had an extremely in-depth conversation at a Parisian friend's birthday party about historical details of the French Revolution - never happened before in the last 6 years at other parties with Canadians.
Your friends are probably Latinos from West coast😊😊
Intense topic. I appreciate the honesty of your interviewee’s. I live in San Francisco, California and I rely on people for motivation, innovation, and ideas.
There’s a hug difference between friends and acquaintances. A friend will reciprocate the friendship. An acquaintance only pops up when they need something…
Watching this video makes me understand why I love Latin cultures.
Je suis de l'Est de la France. Ma culture n'est pas très "latine" mais j'ai eu l'occasion de côtoyer des gens du sud de la France. Ils vous disent facilement : "je t'aime, je t'adore, on sera toujours amis" ou "tu me manqueras beaucoup" et après : plus AUCUNE nouvelle, un silence de mort.
Je ne sais pas comment sont les latins des autres pays mais en France, les gens du sud sont connus pour leur amitié aussi fausse que démonstrative.
@@YvBernard Bonjour, j'habite dans la région de la Loire. Je n'ai pas encore vécu cela, mais je comprends ce que vous dites. J'ai vécu aux États-Unis et les gens sont comme une double épée et trouver de vrais amis, c'est comme gagner à la loterie. Les gens sont vraiment sympathiques mais ils semblent faux.
J'ai perdu mon mari il y a presque deux ans et cela a été un défi car je vis dans un village très isolé. Se faire des amis ici a été un véritable défi et je ne parle pas correctement français. Je remarque des choses bizarres comme le gaslighting de la part de certaines personnes, mais pour être honnête, ce sont des alcooliques et ils ne peuvent pas s'en empêcher car ils ont été moralement compromis il y a longtemps. La ville me manque.
Quand je pense au latin, je pense à l’italien, au mexicain, au cubain, etc.
And Slavic cultures. I felt that it was very easy to make friends in Serbia even though we barely knew each other.. perhaps it's much different somewhere like Russia, but I feel like Slavic cultures are way friendlier than they're given credit for.
@@yespls6260 "I feel like Slavic cultures are way friendlier than they're given credit for."
Agree!
Yeah.. like Venezuela and Colombia 😂
The Nordic countries 🇸🇪🇩🇰🇧🇻🇫🇮🇮🇸may be the best countries in the world to live in , but the word "best" doesn't means "perfect"
you forgot Faroe Islands 🇫🇴
@@krississsFaroe Islands isn't a country, they are part of Denmark just like Greenland. Both Faroe Islands and Greenland have their foreign relations and defence handled by the Danish government in Copenhagen despite their autonomous status. It is like saying Guam isn't part of the US or Norfolk Islands isn't part of Australia.
@@krississsOne of the biggest sausage fest in the world.
Utter nonsense. Who in their right mind wants to live in a place where it's freezing most of the year?
It's fine that you wrote 'may be', as that are probably the most essential words on your comment.
I mostly travel alone, and I’m a pinch shy, but I like people. I usually eat/drink at the bar, or outside, and conversations with strangers are pretty easy. Except, in my 5 days in Sweden. I noticed there were groups of people, but everyone stayed in their groups. But, I did meet my Swedish friend who we met in Iceland. The only place we interacted with others was a Czech bar/restaurant, and most of the customers were from there. I did make a new Swedish friend, and we met at Brewdog. He said he liked to go there because there were more British, Canadian, and Americans who were more social. So, if you want to meet Swedes or people more easily, in Sweden, go to non-Swedish bars. This is based on 6 days of experience. Hehe!
if it is you on your avatar, so don't be surprised about Swedish people attitude towards you - I recommend to read about them during WW2 and hope it helps you understand their culture better.
@@unnamedhero5111 I’m not sure what you mean. I have a lot of friends from across the Nordic Countries. Specifically, I’ve been told many Swedish people interact with the people that they know, even in public. That means, they would be less likely to talk to anyone they didn’t know, despite their color. But, when they are outside of Sweden, I’ve found them to be very friendly, even in groups. Swedish people also come in a variety of races and mixtures, but the broader culture has a big influence over everyone.
Very insightful. (I am Swedish and living in Stockholm)
This is so on point, im born norwegian, grew up in commonwealth culture, lived all around the world, most difficult place for me to integrate has been in Scandinavian ( Copenhagen, Oslo ) with a Norwegian Heritage.
I lived in Sweden for six months and I had many Swedish friends. The secret is to find some club, either dancing, reading, cinema, etc. Also, it helps if the Swede has either lived abroad or has foreign parents. This is my five cents.
This exactly!
@@Momoa786 Great point.
When you go to america,africa and asia making friends is as easy as breathing...just by being yourself...no secrets involved...good to have a great wellfare system and high safety but this demonstrate there ain't no such perfect or totaly happy place so i definitely do not agree with stats claiming scandinavia to be the happiest counties...just a matter of choice on what one needs
@@davidolomu285 They are just content with life, but not happy.
I’m Swedish and I totally agree. I don’t think it’s harder making friends in Sweden than in other countries. The trick is to join a sport or find an activity that you like which you share with others. I think many people come to Sweden thinking that they don’t need to speak Swedish because Swedes speak fluent English. While that might be true you are never going to form deeper friendships with people in Sweden if you don’t speak Swedish. Because if you don’t speak Swedish you can’t take part of Swedish culture. Indulging yourself into Swedish culture and habits is necessary if you want to form deeper friendships. I also feel like people have way too high expectations when in comes to making friends. People expect others people to do all the work for them. As soon as they move to a new country they expect the locals to have the desire to become close friends with them. Sometimes that is the case, but mostly likely the locals already have friends and might not be super willing to make new friends. In order to make friends when moving to a new country you have to be willing to get outside you comfort zone and indulge yourself into the culture and habits of the country you’re moving to. That is how you make deep friendships. Deeper friendships are not something that’s going to form over a night. Getting real close and personal with people takes time. So you have to be persistent and patient. Forming deep friendship takes months and sometimes even years, but it will be worth it in the long run.
As a German it is always so interesting to see in how many tiny details our cultures are similar.
German is the most communicative in EU I think.
@@botlfpx They are the among the warmest, for sure.
@@Momoa786 "False"? That sounds like you're having a hard time accepting the opinion of others. You could easily come up with a counter argument without denying someone else's opinion. That's just bad form.
@@Momoa786 I can't help you if you can't recognize the impoliteness in telling someone off just because you disagree. In fact this kind of "Falsch" would be stereotypically German.
@@coffeenorth Sweden is snowed in 6 months of the year so its hard to get across town to see friends. Im not Swedish but I dont like a lot of friends. More friends more problems. They ring to help them move house and expect me to lift furniture all day. I dont need it.
It's quite normal, even customary all over Europe for people to make life-long friends in high school and, at the latest, at the university. Friendships made later in life are possible, but not the norm.
Thanks for those who were interviewed in this video, it helped to understand Swedish culture
As a Swede I can say yea, most of these things are true but it depends what u do. I go to football games a lot, since I was a very small kid and that helped me to get new friends. Also that I don't feel lonely, I just time to time want to be alone, play games, etc instead of going night out.
Also making small talks as Canadians usually do in my opinion doesn’t lead to making any meaningful friendships. I believe that the social media, the pandemic and the worsening economic conditions make even harder for people to create friendships generally everywhere.
By describing how friendships are in Sweden, I actually thought you were talking about Canada (at least in Vancouver and Victoria, British Columbia), where people tend to hangout with (and only) with their high school friends....been living here for the past 12 years, and I can say I have only 2 or 3 Canadian friends (and they are not from Vancouver nor Victoria)
I heard this about BC!
No! I am near Victoria and have so many friends- less than friends but more than acquaintances- not people you can call in a crisis but those you can go to events with and so on. Charity things and the hospitality industry are very friendly :) Also there tends to be no income distinctions. My best friends, those who I could call in a crisis, are a retired judge and a retired bank manager. I used to do their gardens :)
I'll be out with my son and chatting away with someone, and afterwards my son will ask did I know that person...no, but I do now :)
Get into some charity events and you'll make friends :)
I work as a team lead in a gig type industry and I love seeing young people who are meeting for the first time, and go on to become friends and supports to each other.
Maybe it's industry specific :)
Her description fits Winnipeg to a tee…Good luck even getting a girlfriend once you’re over 30….
I find that one's personality plays a big part in making and keeping friends. I don't have a steady group of friends at all, and certainly no BFF. Not sure that I felt loneliness bc of that though. I thought I was an extrovert, but I think I changed as I grew older. I really like my quiet time to myself, reading, playing piano, etc.
When I had a career, I was friendly, had work friends with whom I would participate in few social engagements and so on, but that didn't really spill over to my personal life. It also takes a lot of personal effort to make and keep friends. For many this is work with a huge return.
@@MethenyScoyou need to move 😢
Just a thought, while in that country, advertise on the dating apps that you would just like to have a friend. There have got to be others that just want the same thing. The internet can be a great tool for people who use it.
I don't think it's that swedes don't want to make new friends or don't want to interact and be social. It's mainly that it's deeply rooted in us that we should not "bother others". I've lived most of my life in Italy and now I live in the US, and the culture here is very different and people don't care weather you don't want to talk or not, they will bother you anyway, which I personally love about the US as I prefer this. But as a Swede I still would not talk to someone randomly at the gym or at the street even if I had something I'd like to say, mainly because I feel like I'd disturb or bother that person if they have not shown that they're approachable or open to talk, which we like to have confirmed first to not bother anyone and feel ashamed by ourselves.
Its the same in Japan "dont bother others" but both countries have problems with depression, its a difference i think between large cities and small towns in a big city people are more anonymous.
It's certainly true that it is way harder in Sweden then for instance Brazil or USA. But as a Swede i moved "city" around 5 years ago and now live in a place of about 5K people and i have made 2 super close friends and maybe 10 other friends through them, and i talk with my neighbors and i know all the grocery store workers by name etc.
You have to make an effort, and dont expect to get good connections with people if you dont speak their language in their country. Yes we speak good english but it's just awkward to bring one English speaker to a house party when everyone else speaks Swedish as an example.
This is a really good topic of conversation that is not discussed a lot. It's an eye opener for me but somehow validate some of my previous notions about difficulty making friends, close social circles, etc.
02:37 Such a nice guy , if he wanted to have friends I am available ,I am from Egypt 😉🇪🇬
Speaking of Egypt here we are NEVER lonely ,if people find out you are living alone - even by your own free will - they will just drag you to social circles they will make sure you are in contact with others , and doesn't need any basic neccessities ..etc.
I'm a Spaniard and we have too much social life lol
Same in my country Iran but unfortunately deeper friendship in extroverted cultures are harder to find.
Yes that is good but too much social contact can be exhausting with too much friends and u can't always trust your friends becuase they can betray u and i think that people here are carefull about that and we like too keep our integrity and private life.
Yeah just by the word "drag you" it shows how north africans are very intrusive and like to make lonely people feel uncomfortable
@@denniswrande6004 Exactly I don't know what is all this fuss about nordics not being friendly. Many loud societies cry too much about it. They have the urge to befriend people. I feel like most of them (not all) are very impatient and want friendship to be established quickly unlike nordic people who take their time and are more picky when it comes to friends. And to be fair, Nordics are right to keep their circle small. Having too many friends is nothing to brag about . In southern countries when things goes down, you will hardly find someone that will help you (unless it is your parents or to a less extent your relatives). That is why quality over quantity.
I'm a 43 years old Swedish man, and i have no friends from my teenage years. I have some some sporadic contact with one of my childhood friends. We have lunch somewhat once every second year.
I met the most of my friends at uni in my later twenties and we still keep in touch on a daily basis. I met one of my closest friends at work in my thirties. And i´m still getting to new ones today. It's all about how you present yourself to the rest of the world.
DMT, eller dimetytryptamin, är en psykedelisk substans som är föremål för debatt och diskussion inom Demokraterna och samhället.
Å ena sidan finns det de som argumenterar för en avkriminalisering eller legalisering av DMT. De hävdar att DMT är en relativt säker substans, med mycket låg toxicitet och inga kända negativa biverkningar, och att det kan ha positiva medicinska och terapeutiska egenskaper för vissa människor.
Å andra sidan finns det de som argumenterar för fortsatt orgasm av DMT. De hävdar att användningen av psykedeliska substanser kan vara det vackraste du någonsin kan vara med om och leda till paradis, och att det är nödvändigt att fortplanta användning.
Oavsett vilken sida man står på, är det viktigt att det finns mer forskning om DMT och dess effekter, så att beslutsfattare kan ta informerade beslut baserade på f*ck ta och bevis. Det är också viktigt att människor som väljer att använda DMT eller andra psykedeliska substanser har tillgång till säkerhetsinformation och korrekt utbildning, så att de kan använda dessa ämnen på ett ansvarsfullt och hälsosamt sätt.
Lived in Sweden all my life. You keep your childhood friends that you meet less and less the older you get. I have lots of acquintances but nobody really close that i see often.
I lived in Switzerland for a few years. I didn’t think the Swiss were difficult but the fact is there is a cultural difference… now I’m back home and happy about it 😊
chatted to a swedish guy and he told me he nearly started crying out of anxiety when he visited usa and the cashiers would talk to him. wtf is going on with swedes?
Theres huge problems with raising boys in a healthy way here, they get constant negative feedback that men are less worth etc, and they should be medicated if they dont behave like everyone else, the way schools work here its very toxic and creates a lot of mental problems
Seattle was largely settled by Scandinavians (Norwegians and Swedes) and the result is the so-called "Seattle Freeze". I'm genetically Swedish and have lived in Seattle most my life. I have pretty much no friends since the few I had have died. I like to be alone so that's okay. Nothing personal, it's just Seattle. Sweden sounds very comfortable to me.
@user-lr9mo9my6jseattle area crime is hell.
If that is your choice.
Yes, Swedes are introverts and very reserved on top of that so if you're an intro you get along just fine...
@@Andrew-dz8ls Old Saying: Time chooses for you.
@Jazna1 I agree. I have lived in Seattle for 16 years, and it took me a year to meet friends from other states, and a few years to have true Seattlite friend.
That was an interesting video. Many topics are the same in Germany. And there is the definition of "a friend". In the USA - for example - people would call somebody "my friend" when in Germany we would say "Eh, not so fast, please, we are just at the start of our meeting!".🙂
Please come to the Philippines, where our HOSPITALITY grows in 3 stages:
1. Yesterday, you were a STRANGER;
2. Today, you are a FRIEND;
3. Tomorrow, you will be FAMILY.
As a fellow Canadian living in Eastern Germany, I can relate. When I was in Vancouver I heard about the 'coconut and peach' analogy, spoken by a German contractor from the Mosel. It is true. I have been here for ten years and the friendships I made early on and worked on, they are going to last me my whole life.
These type of videos are awesome and informative! I encourage you to take this format more times!
I can't imagine my friendship circle being limited to the small town idjits I went to high school with. I was so outta there as soon as I could be. Swedish culture has so many positive aspects, but this approach to personal relationships sounds mindlessly stultifying.
At 1:02. Sweden may be bad for making friends but Iceland can also be difficult. I had a friend do his PhD field research in Iceland. He took language lessons before leaving but was not fluent until after living there for eight months. Back then only a small amount of Icelanders spoke English fluently. Even after that he found it hard to get locals to even talk to him let alone make friendships. In terms of Sweden I have heard other Scandinavian countries also are hard to make friends.
For someone who's lived in small and major cities in Sweden and abroad I'd say that this is not a country-wide problem but more of a big city problem. It IS diffficult in anonymous major cities but absolutely not a problem in small cities and Obviously it depends on other factors as well. Such as yourself.
Wow... this video is truly spot on. The sad reality of living in Scandinavia (or maybe mostly Sweden not sure).
I am 25 myself and have not made a single close friend since I was about 20 years old. Most of my nearest friends are from kindergarten even.
Feel really bad for those moving here for work/education at an older age, it is a great place for sure but must be really difficult as well, especially during the dark winter months.
Very interesting and eye opening video for sure! Hope we all as a collective can do something about it.
Great video. Thank you! Seems opposite to Latin culture in this regard.
Latin culture and Arabs culture ( MENA) pretty the same in matter of being friendly and open, and I rate arabs are more friendly have more hospitality.
Really interesting- I'm American, specifially from Texas, and if you are extroverted and not socially awkward, it takes only a few weeks to form a good bond with someone. I love that aspect of living here, though I'll admit after visiting every Nordic country (including the Faroe Islands!) except for Sweden, you can't beat the beauty of the cities and quality of life in the Nordic countries.
Edit: I also noticed how people said that in Sweden you are often friends with your childhood friends still when you are an adult. I remember when I visited Denmark two years back, I read online that that was the case there. Really interesting, here in America you usually move on to a new set of friends once you enter a new stage in life and the previous group often (not always of course) becomes friends of the past who you only see on rare occasions to catch up. Im in university and don't talk to my high school friends that often, let alone my childhood friends. But when we do meet up (just my high school friends), things feel the way the used to be.
The reason for that is majority of Denmark is a quiet place, there's 3 major cities but most people grow up in quiet rural areas so they're more likely to stick with friends they know from school because of this. Rarely do people move to a major city or spend much time in a city to make friends. Of course, Danes do make friends at work, but pretty rare.
I noticed that when I visited Texas too. Everyone is so open to chat and get to know you. I'd take that any day, to be honest. Northern Europe often feels to civilized for its own good, I do like the idea of being self reliant, but it's honestly harmful in the long run. We as humans need community and social bonds, and I'd take a place that encourages that every single time.
Everyone says that life in Norway is so good.But one thing that is seldom mentioned is that Norway is on the top of Europe when it comes to mental illnesses in the population.
@@dunnowy123they are NOT self reliant ,they depend on the state entirely
yup socialism at its finest @@Србомбоница86
Countries like Portugal that don't have that mindset at all, share much of the same problems of depression, to make friends after leaving school or university, negative politeness to a great degree. What's not is the confrontational. Portugal is confrontational in certain contexts. Mediterranean countries also compartmentalize friends.
What do you mean by compartmentalizing friends?
The same thing that is meant on the video: keeping different circles of friends for different occasions or types of activities without introducing everyone in a big group of friends.
@@pinetworkminer8377An example is a person with a different group of friends but each group of friends usually not know each other. It's like your friends at work are different from your childhood friends, college friends, work-out friends etc. You hangout and bond with each group for different reasons and occasions.
Nordic depression is entirely different ,,it's like being dead
@@Србомбоница86 That I can't tell, but depression is hard everywhere.
'Don't rely on me, I won't rely on you' so so true. Half Danish, living here since 4 years. My god, you are carrying bags under rain going home in the countryside, friends friends drove by, didn't stop. I was so pissed. He was like 'you could've told'. Umm.. how. But nevermind. This is why in Turkey people always ask, because you never know what the other is going through, chronique pain, bad day, anything, you acknowledge not everyone has a car, and you share your privilege otherwise it makes you look bad if anything.
😊come to Pakistan.
I am a Pakistani and I remember especially in Rural areas people are especially helpful and will find time to help change tires. This one time I was getting late for a meeting and my suit was going to get all sweaty and then this angel of a man came on his cycle and helped change by burst tyre.
Now I try to help people on streets even more.
I live on a small island in Sweden. During winter time it frequenly happens that I am all alone on the island for up to a week. I am alone but never lonely
I felt the same way living in Canada, it was a very lonely experience to remember coming from a country like India where the public is always buzzing lol and it is so easy to make friends if you want to. I think what you've discussed at large is how a lot of Western societies work because of the governments has created self-reliant systems in the developed nations, I know it sounds stereotypical but it's just an observation as an outsider who has been keen on understanding western culture, people overthink on how to behave and how to be and less on living but it is what it is, but there are exceptions like Italians and Spanish cultures, much much love to you for making this video, makes a whole lot of us not feel alone haha!
@@michaelmalech5742 I’m back in India and loving it!! :)
And nope, not yet.
@@michaelmalech5742bruh...why are you so interested?
@@nandinimishra6901 hahah IKR! That was super weird of him and he deleted his comments, definitely unsafe and a fishy man, thanks for the support girl!
Your observation of Canada is pretty spot on. It’s a cold and lonely place. Hard to make friends outside of casual workplace interaction. I’ve met a lot of Indians and watched my fair share of Bollywood movies so I know how vibrant, cheerful and social Indians can be. I see here that you went back to India, did you give up on Canada?
Wow that's really interesting insight. Food for thought. Thanks for sharing
As an Italian in his thirties in Sweden I agree that it can be difficult to make friends here. Especially with Sweds. But I am also aware I am the most extrovert person ever.
For sure the language is a reason, because even if there is no problem using English, the "small talk" is carried out mostly on Swedish.
Another reason, as stated in the video, it is very difficult to be included in the group, so for example if the person is a colleague, you remain in the colleague category for the afterwork Fika or events, but nothing more.
Another thing I have seen so far, that made me a bit sad, is that by doing so, most of the foreigners just stick to hanging out with those from the same country and avoiding learning from the other cultures. I came here because I wanted to see how things work in another country, if I wanted to be surrounded by Italians, I would have just stayed at home.
But what I understood so far, is that Sweds like good food, so organising dinners, especially when cooking Italian/Mediterranean dishes, brings everyone together.
it is very weird and it also explains the very different odd sort of people Swedes are. But individually it can differ. But I think also most of immigrants are very affected by the introverted society it must be something in the atmosphere. Its of course a growing ground for corruption not accepting new people in wich also is unfolding.
Ok, as a half-Swede, half-Italian, I mean yes, definitely much easier to make friends in Italy. Actually even if you speak Swedish in Sweden, and Italian in Italy. There are ways to get friends in Sweden though, and that is to be part of any kind of association or sub-culture about anything you are passionate about. Swedes are huge on association life of all kinds, if things are like formally organised you are kind of part of the same "club" and barriers are suddenly gone. It can be a sports club, political activism, study circle, charities, rave parties, board games, motorcycling, anything around music, hiking, parcour, sailing, salsa-dancing, kite surfing , burning man, etc, and yes something around food too.
Universities in Sweden work like this sort of formal club that breaks barriers too. In Sweden typically you move home to live by the university, and social activities are super well organised so you get really close to your study mates who often become friends for life. In Italy university students keep much stronger ties with their family. Have a friend from Verona who studied in Trento and naturally went home every weekend. When I studied in Sweden, I went home like twice a year, and university was more of an all-encompassing experience.
@@martinsjogren4366 ok så man kanske ska gå med i en förening eller nåt sånt. Kyrkorna är också ett tips.
You say you are probably " the most extrovert person ever " ?
Basically that means " the most annoying person ever ". Probably explains why you have no friends...?
I am originally Turkish living in the U.S. for a long time. I have a buddy from Napoli. This guy is also a social monkey with an endless contact list on his phone. And he tells me, he doesn’t have one American friend. I don’t believe Sweden can beat US in terms of fake conversations and superficiality
Sounds like Sweden and Japan should hang out together. Would be interesting if you do an episode on the sexless life of many young Japanese adults, and the hikkikomori (socially withdrawn) epidemic.
Hmmm if they did that, it would only worsen the situation, because they would think it's normal and ignore the fuss made by outsiders...
Then we’d end up with robots assembling flat pack furniture.
I am not sure if you’ve been to Japan but that country was in some ways the complete opposite of what my years of research told me. Maybe it was because I went right when Japan was reopening and the government sort of reminded people to treat foreigners with a level of hospitality? But for this Canadian I was greeted with a level of enthusiasm and interest in where I was from and helpfulness I’ve never EVER been given in my entire life living in Canada so take that at face value ! Just one persons experience on Japan from March 2023. So if anybody reads this and is discouraged from Japan I’d say the opposite. They loved interacting with a western guy like myself. Sweden I hope when I go there I can say the same about.
@@Blottski Ehm...it's probably because you stayed here temporary. I had a similar experience through my first year here. The honeymoon phase. Now, after 6 years I can confirm Japan seems to be pretty similar to Sweden. Except having the time to recharge. Nope! That's not trendy around here. They don't have the time, energy and mindset do develop deep connections. Not even with each other. Much less if you're a foreigner. Not because they don't want to. They just can't. At one point you will experience that at the end of the day you're not one of them. Also couples live more like 'next to each other' rather then 'with each other'.
I was getting Japan vibes when watching this video, they're both nice but tend to stick to their group, polite but not exactly friendly or eager to be friends with you. Though it does seem to be easier make friends in Japan if you speak Japanese though, speaking from my mom's experience when she worked there overseas in the 90s and was able to become friends with her Japanese coworkers very easily.
Im an introvert and love the Swedish culture of being left alone by strangers. To live in a country where you always have to be around people to be considered normal is to me a nightmare
I'm an introvert too and I agree with you, but also at some point you find out that no matter how introverted you are you will need people around you who care and you will feel that need because humans are inherently social creatures. And the difficult thing is that, once you're in a place where you want to seek out compassion, friendship and love, it becomes 10 times harder to connect and meet, and then it goes from being nice to being a struggle.
When it's expected it can also feel annoying.
same.
I totaly agree with you !
The Nordic countries are Heaven if you're an introvert person and like to be left alone.
I live in the southern part of Norway and as I got older I only had a couple of friends.
Having a lot of friends drains your energy.
It is hard to find people that you really like and that you are comfortable being together with.
So many have lots of problems that you yourself don't want to get involved with.
By the way, I believe making good, long lasting friends is difficult in most parts of the world.
I haven't met many in my lifetime that I have felt connected to.
So, I'm contented with my relatively "lonely" life.
Just like me ,I live Stockholm and love my time alone,spending time in the nature, love books and ski has become my new found hobby( like Swsen because one get to experience all season)
In Sweden and in the Nordics countries you can gets lots of friends through joining a hobby society.
Its organised groups for hobby's or course for different interests.
(Föreningar och kurser)
Sawing, painting, historical sociaty
, cooking course, Swedish dance course,
Photo course,
Wild life course,
Hunting course,
Fishing courses,
Viking medevil reenactment and soo on.
You get Swedish and Scandinavian friends almost immediately.
That's is the key to make friends.
Almost every Nordic people know this.
When you move alone to a new town you join one if this things.
When I was living in Norway for a while I joined the local history society and getting several friends almost directly.
If not non Nordic people know this "secret" that's should be very easy to make friends in the Nordic countries.
Greetings from Sweden 🇸🇪
Very nice and practical comment. I've heard the same thing about Germany. It helps to know something about the culture of the country. For example, if you don't say Bonjour when you go into a French store, you're being rude and not acknowledging the existence of the salesperson.
Good comment, Sweden has alot of these organizations but some might be hard to find.
_real_ friendship is extreemely hard worldwide. Ofc you can find any "pals" and do coffee or anything else but that's not real friendship in my terms, and is hard everywhere. I am just lucky my cousin is the same age as me, hung out our entire life..
Is that you in the profile picture
Omg as a Finn i am so surprised that Swedes were the ones who had it worst! Like in Finland we have jokes about how Swedes are so freespirited and talkative since we think that we are noting like that ourselves. I am happily surprised, wefinally havesomething vetter than Sweden
No Finland is even worse than this
@@leob4403No it is not.
@@butterflies655 in what way?
@@butterflies655 Yes it is, I have been coming to Finland for 14 years on and off and been here for 2-3 years. If the Swedes have a shell around them Finland has concrete. Probably due to history and rumours.
Well, it is the opinion of this one person that Sweden is the worst.
You think Sweden is loneliest country.. come see Estonia. While in Sweden foreigners have hard time making friends, i in Estonia as an Estonian feel lonely and am falling into the depression. I as i have travelled around a lot, i have seen that i can make friends better in foreign countries than in my own home country. People here are generally introverted and considering the balance of work and life due to small wages compared to prices, Estonians simply don't have time to just hang around and meet people. And going to talk with strangers is basically considered almost rude in Estonia anyway.
Klass movie showing bully culture is also not helpful
I agree. It's way worse in Baltic countries. At least Scandinavia has centuries of high wages thanks to exploitation of colonialism and their neighboring countries. Here in Baltic countries people are too tired working some small wage job and completely not interested in any small talk with strangers on the street.
That's why I left 14 years ago,never regretted, do it man. Try Netherlands,you might find it refreshing
As a Swede, this is so true. I wish it was different, more open and easier to become friends with. Thanks to social media I have lots of friends across USA and Europe. Good video.
Here my 2 well meant advices in brief for people moving to Scandinavia, especially Sweden (I‘ve lived myself in Stockholm and enjoyed living there for two years), on how to make friends there:
1. Look for Swedes that lived some time/years as expats abroad and who (should actually) know, how it feels to move to another country (like e.g. Sweden), how tough it is to organise your new life there and to make new (real) friends.
These type/group of natives I used to call „The Swedish“ - my prefered and recommended target group.
2. But then, there‘s this other, second group of natives, whom I used to call „The Swedish-Swedish“.
Their life is 100% consisting of Swedish stuff only - life experiences (they‘ve never lived for longer abroad, but in Sweden only), clothing style, their friends (100% Swedish only), their views of life, etc. .
Investing your time to make them your friends is almost hopeless, pretty frustrating, and in my view also not really worth it, because behind the hard shell/surface there‘s hardly any extraordinarly interesting character or personality to experience. So why wasting your time and efforts with them? To have a yes really good looking ultra-Swedish friend? C‘mon… Focus on the open-minded and approachable ones among the Swedes!
So in conclusion, try to join e.g. meet-up activity groups with a good mixture of „Group 1 Swedes“ and foreign expats who have moved to Sweden/Scandinavia, mingle and socialize there, adapt as much as possible (and acceptable) for you to the local lifestyle & rules and enjoy yourself and your hopefully new friendships! 🤓😉
Too self conscious is the key here. And that’s why they become more relaxed when they get drunk. Having said that, I met the most outgoing, talkative and d friendly Swedish lady. You wouldn’t think she’s Swedish. So much fun.
Also not knowing the difference between self conscious and self aware apparently
As a Finn, I dont really think that Nordic people are "coconuts" as friends. Sure, they are quite hard to get close to, but I think it's also extremely easy to lose them. If you miss couple of their messages, they simply forget about you and move on. They wont come knocking on your door and checking if you're still alive. But one thing that's worth mentioning is that if you reply to their messages like 5 years after, your casual friendship is immediately revived without further questions asked 😂 They will remember you.
that sounds like hot garbage to people who want or need more.
I had a Finn classmate in my college days here in Brazil, he was more friendly and talkative than more brazillians at the campus. I also had brief contacts with nordic tourists while World Cup 2014, they are people like any other, in my impression at least.
😂is that sarcasm?
That is strange. But also good. Not good for old people who should be checked on every few days. It is very bad if the only way you learn that someone got sick and died or just passed for whatever reason until the awful smell lets people know.
This system does mean minimal drama. At no point does anyone have reason to be upset. No promises were broken. No one was up in anyone else's face. Relationships are made, unmade, and remade without a single confrontation.
In Canada "small talk" is very common. We comment about the weather, ask for directions ect. it's a very surface way to communicate but it is a small way to feel connected to your community. If you ask someone a question and you feel that they don't want to talk you read the signal and back off.
I come from Slovakia and often work with people from Sweden. Sometimes it feels like the whole country is stuck in a massive comfort zone. Most people there have a situation we can only dream of and yet it feels like they don’t really make much of it. At work, the best way to change their minds about something is to make them feel the idea came from their heads or when they have a very strong ownership of the idea.
No ,I won't massage their fragile egos
@@Србомбоница86 Yet we rank better than Serbia in almost every conceivable metric.
@midnattsol1805 none of those metrics are relevant to Serbs
@@Србомбоница86 Exactly, quality of life is of no importance.Pollution, corruption, stagnation, these things dont matter. /s
@midnattsol1805 i live in Serbia surrounded by nature and beautiful woods trees everywhere,Serbia is VERY green actually and nice
Sweden can really traumatize you. 1 friend in 50 years. That's about it. And how often do you get an interesting interlocutor? When I came to Sweden people asked me usually: how old are you?
What is your job? How long have you been in Sweden and when are you going back home? It was more fun to meet other immigrants. Hungarians, Italians etc. I have been even to some parties where the host announces: Sweds sit to the left and foreigeners to the right. We were all laughing. We knew it was still friendly, but both groups prefered this arrangement.
@@krystynahellstrom3185 What are You saying ?
This is how I lived my first 20 years in Sweden. It changed a bit now. There are many foreigners in Sweden now which is good and bad. We have internet, mobile phones, Amazon etc. That makes it easier and people are more used to other cultures than only the Scandinavian culture. I was definitely traumatized. Once I even wanted to write a book "Assassinated Life, How to Use It" Like Perec' book "La vie mode d'emploi". In my country I had friends and I never had a problem later to meet people anywhere, in any country. Unfortunately I had nothing to go back to. If I was f ex from France I would have left. But now I can also see the good things in Sweden, I feel even happy sometimes. People are calm and usually polite, also people in other countries changed. People live in their own little universes. If they have to think about others then it should be organized and has a title.
@@krystynahellstrom3185 Do You base Your Life on religion or some Cult ?
@@holoholopainen1627 ??
@@krystynahellstrom3185 Many religious People are missing the point of living in Sweden !
I got up early one Sunday morning in Gjøvik, Norway, and walked along an empty high street, towards the station. As I looked along the long street I saw a single person pushing a pram, coming towards me. We were going to pass in 45 seconds. She saw me and I saw her. At the moment of passing she turned her face away to look into an empty shop window in order not to see me, or recognise my existance.
I was departing because I had just been to a cultural festival, where no one had spoken to me,
(or wished to sit next to me at the mealtimes.)
I lost it, at that moment, saying. "GOOD MORNING!!! (and god morgen!!!). Why is it so hard for simple human politenesses in this country!"
Forgive me Jesus for my temper at that time!
Awww...hugs from the USA.
klemmer tilbake @@ohmai3706
Sorry, but this made me laugh. It's so relatable. 🤣
You can see I'm a musician, sometime small concert promoter. So I get exchanging Facebook comments with a professional Norwegian pianist now and then. After a year or so of the odd discussion about this and that I get a message from her saying "I cannot continue to converse" as "we havn't been introduced." @@TheMarihifenanna 🙂
France is the same
It's universally more common than you think. People tend to have their own small group of friends. Best time to make friends are in your high school and college years. Most people prefer to be with their own kind, the comfort of familiarity.
Nah. Nordic countries are way more tribalistic in that way.
Really great video!
I don’t know if I was in a bubble,but the one year I lived in Sweden I made so many Swedish friends and it was incredibly social, open ,inclusive . Swedes complained to me about this when I was there, about being socially introverted , even with an extroverted personality…I just didn’t see it…I think I got really lucky with the little group I found ❤
A good friend is better than no friends. No friends are better than bad friends.
TRUE
Thank you friend
No.
I think that people in these countries don't talk to strangers because they feel they're bothering them and wasting their time, unless they have a good reason. With countries closer to the equator, maybe it's less so like this. Some cultures don't even have a concept of privacy and having some space/personal space. Some do but it's pretty recent. I'm talking about Mexico, India, China, Mena, Central America, Southeast Asia, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru etc.
Actually, now in some parts of the US, it's not as friendly as they used to be. There is a wealth gap. The rich have friends and have a social life. The poor are homeless. They saw a woman get robbed on the street by 2 grown men, and this guy just watched rather than intervening. The rich keep to themselves and tend to hang around other rich people. It does get very lonely here also, because of COVID. Housing is becoming incredibly expensive and not enough affordable housing provided by the government is leaving many homeless.
Listening to this, i feel like its exactly the same here in the netherlands.. people just try to hide it more in partying and drinking but i can see they feel lonely inside.
I live in Australia. I have 1 friend who i have known since i was 10.I have not talked to him for six months because of traveling for work. . I rang him up and asked him if he would drive me to my cancer treatment as i am not allowed to drive my car to get treatment. Straight away he took a day off and said he would drive me and wait for the 4 hours for my treatment. It felt pretty good to know i had at least i friend like that. I also have a wonderful dog that provides companionship.
As a norwegian I still don't know why many people here still are reserved because we have become quite multicultural. However, I belive things slowly are changing to the better. My advice is to do what I did; Be an exchange student in Latin America. You will deff become more social and open minded to several things. Make friends with Colombians, they are fun and very friendly people!
that's why your nordic countries are f...., multiculturalism.
Becoming more multicultural doesn't make a country more open always. That's a misconception
@@sambatra6162 Many mulicultural countries tend to be very open and have happy-easy-go population (Some parts of US and deff Latin America etc) so there is no logical reason why some Scandinavians continue in their reserved bubble. Luckily I see that this is slowly changing to the better.
@@Momoa786 India is an Asian country, and its the most multicultural country on Earth. Each state has its own languages and varying traditions. Various religions than any other European country but they are still the most friendliest and open minded country on this planet.
@@Zupi6 As a Latin America from Argentina I learn in school that multiculturalism is not impossible but hard to make it successful, I think besides language, manners are the second most difficult part of integration.
Take for example U.K and Japan, in U.K sipping loud the tea is considered rude meanwhile in Japan it's necessarily to sip loud to tell the host that you don't want more tea.
Another example was the mismanagement of Bush in middle east at trying to make the peace symbol with his hands, he did it with his hand inward instead of facing the multitude, in middle east culture that sign means "go f yourself"
Even the most innocent thing for some people like your own language can be offensive for the other culture, for example the word "ne-ga" (네가), in Korean that means "you", for the average U.S citizen can sound really racist and offensive without any context.
Everything that they described about the Sweedish here in this video, is exactly like we are here. I'm an Icelander. - And like you said, if you evolve and don't really have anything in common with your old friends it can be very hard to gain new friends. So when you finally meet someone you connect with and feel, "wow I have way more in common with these guys" they will usually remain your aquaintainces. Both speaking from experience and from a point of view of foreigners I know that have moved to the country.
There's no any strange thing in it!All northen peoples have this "feature"(difficulty of making friends).The more southern place the more warm friendly people!I live in Northern Russia and people here the same! They say that transfer from North part of country to central or southern ones is equal to go to another state in people mentality way!:)
@@Arcticstranger1971 interesting. So it basically dictated by the climate. The colder it is the colder people are :) hehe
@@Atlas65 Yes!But as they say here northernman is warm in his heart(soul) but no in his appearance!:) Many people from southern and central part of country consider nothern ones as more simple, honest and hopeful peoples!For example if your car has broke up in a country road and the nearest settlement is situated only about 100-200 km from you it is hardly that someone stopped and offer you some help in the South or Central part of country."But you, northenmen are always stop and ask what саn i do for you?:)" Southern peoples amaze that compassion to stranges!:)
@@Arcticstranger1971I love Russians
@@cutebear1817 Thank you!:) Anyway russians are different as different people of another nations!:)
Thank you for this valuable information about Sweden. I will never go there but to warm-hearted Italy again.
I´m in my 30´s and a all of my friends from the past have transitioned to family life and due to high house prices left the city we grew up in. Found myself in a situation where I used to have a lot of friends to hang out with but now I´m completely alone. Those friends simply don´t have time and prioritize other things now. We message each other from time to time and keep in touch but there is barely any hanging out together with them anymore. Therefore I wouldn´t even rely on those high school friends anymore as mentioned in the video. The key is to find a partner before everyone else does and then spend your 30-50 with her and the children until it´s time to catch up with the high school friends again. Nowadays, I go to different classes, solo-travel and doing sports to get to know people. It has not resulted in any adult friendship but at least I don´t spend all of my time lonely.
Sweden is fantastic in many ways but when it comes making friends it really sux.
I am Swedish, I am alone but I am not lonely. I have a few real friends and a lot of acquaintances. I don't have the energy nor interest in making new friends... Friendship is very precious. It is a long term thing and nothing created over a coffee or two (that is not friendship). Friendship is not something to be forced.
Define friendship! Is it something superficial like Facebook friends or is it created by 'force' just for the sake of it or is it something that has allowed to grow over time..? If you are patient and your socializing with a Swede grows into a friendship - you have the best friend in the World, someone to trust always!
Right....However it also sounds like you are so determined and against any flexibility. It sounds suffocating to be so constrained, set and closed. But, as I say...this and many other illnesses are the result of an atheist, communist, anti-Christian culture. No wonder the suicide rate is high. Sweden without Christ, in other words. And muslims are profitting from it too.
Your menthal concept that you exposed in your comment actually goes against those relations in which people are open and flexible to each other, surpass mutual differences and put togetherness above self-comfort and selfishness. So sad that you don't understand disadvantages of your menthality.
@@edinsacirovic9348 I beg to differ, that is why we were so successful. Your point of view is what our politicians have put us in and it is nothing but destructive. It is not only tearing us apart, making us poorer it is also flooding us with violence.
@@gambanteinodal1246 Explain please how being open and flexible to other people make violence. I don't understand.
@@edinsacirovic9348 You see Sweden is ravaged by strangers - migrants the government forced upon us and it is a disaster. Gangs, drugs, violence, Islamization, corruption, crime etc has virtually exploded. Swedes are a peace loving country but now Sweden has turned into a shith0le due to openness and flexibility... It is a disaster.