Self-regulation is important. However, A marriage is supposed to be a partnership. There is a measure of pain in having a partnership with a person who can't be your partner. It feels like being thirsty in the middle of the ocean. Surrounded by what you need but unable to partake in it.
Exactly what it feels like. My boyfriend is in a heavily depressed season. He just ended our relationship last night because of it. He was disconnecting from me a lot. I tried to be as patient as I could and tried to be honest about how I was feeling in it without overwhelming. He said, knowing that he couldn’t give me what I need (communication/ connection) and that I deserve better. Breaks my heart that he cut me off. I know he’s looking out for my best interest, but it’s still hard to not feel not only starved but now rejected. 💔
If i can sit with my emotions and handle it all alone there is no reason to open up to anyone else. Empathy and compassion is not needed from anyone cause i already did it by myself. If i can emotionally process and regulate by myself there is zero reason to allow another human to be aware of any of my emotions. If i cleaned my own dishes in the sink all by myself why mention that to another. You did the dishes, they are done, end of story. As long as i can do my own dishes no one will ever see them or need to be told they were there.
Interesting metaphor... but not what I see in real life. The way we relate to our own emotions is usually the way we relate to other people. Learning to process and have compassion for our own emotional experiences is what enables us to have empathy and compassion for others. It also makes it safer for us to open up and talk about what we're feeling, because we aren't layering guilt, shame and self judgment over our other emotions.
He broke up with me saying im clingy and we are two very different ppl. He loves me but not romantically. But at the same time he calls me babe... he tals about future (we have a 1 yr old toddler, thats why he is not leaving me). Then therrs me clingy and sad that he doesn't want me. He is depressed.. very depressed. What can i do?
I disagree with the statement that women are socially conditioned to put the wellbeing of others ahead of our own. Women naturally have that capacity and ability because it's essential that we are able to do this in motherhood.
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Self-regulation is important. However, A marriage is supposed to be a partnership. There is a measure of pain in having a partnership with a person who can't be your partner. It feels like being thirsty in the middle of the ocean. Surrounded by what you need but unable to partake in it.
Exactly what it feels like. My boyfriend is in a heavily depressed season. He just ended our relationship last night because of it. He was disconnecting from me a lot. I tried to be as patient as I could and tried to be honest about how I was feeling in it without overwhelming. He said, knowing that he couldn’t give me what I need (communication/ connection) and that I deserve better. Breaks my heart that he cut me off. I know he’s looking out for my best interest, but it’s still hard to not feel not only starved but now rejected. 💔
THANK YOU SO MUCH
If i can sit with my emotions and handle it all alone there is no reason to open up to anyone else. Empathy and compassion is not needed from anyone cause i already did it by myself. If i can emotionally process and regulate by myself there is zero reason to allow another human to be aware of any of my emotions. If i cleaned my own dishes in the sink all by myself why mention that to another. You did the dishes, they are done, end of story. As long as i can do my own dishes no one will ever see them or need to be told they were there.
Interesting metaphor... but not what I see in real life. The way we relate to our own emotions is usually the way we relate to other people. Learning to process and have compassion for our own emotional experiences is what enables us to have empathy and compassion for others. It also makes it safer for us to open up and talk about what we're feeling, because we aren't layering guilt, shame and self judgment over our other emotions.
He broke up with me saying im clingy and we are two very different ppl. He loves me but not romantically. But at the same time he calls me babe... he tals about future (we have a 1 yr old toddler, thats why he is not leaving me). Then therrs me clingy and sad that he doesn't want me. He is depressed.. very depressed. What can i do?
I disagree with the statement that women are socially conditioned to put the wellbeing of others ahead of our own. Women naturally have that capacity and ability because it's essential that we are able to do this in motherhood.