For real! He has a balanced approach. That's what's needed here in this social media stuff, yet some men come here and say he pandering all because he not telling men to hate all women or that women are the axis for all evil.
Then women would go around the circle and come back to the first one ,because there are only so many of us. 3 women to one man. Women think men are dogs so there is no good one, unless you plan on settling with another woman or a dog.
It was the opposite with me. The previous man I’ve dated was very vulnerable with me and I was with him. Any time we had a disagreement he threw everything back in my face and I never did it to him. I just stopped telling him anything. This goes both ways.
This is how I feel about cheating! Once a man steps outside, it’s over! There will be no second chances. Women need to stop forgiving cheating men. Not caring about how your behaviour effects someone else is very selfish. You want someone to care about your vulnerability but you don’t care about the other persons.
Yes I agree here. I can take some words…cheat and it’s over. My ability to trust is gone and I don’t want you to touch me now cause u cheated with a female that looks like she don’t wash. Bye! 😂
I feel sad that as a woman I was conditioned by my Dad to see men as superhuman, super strong impenetrable fortresses, and that my gut reaction for so long when I was exposed to male vulnerability was revulsion. I saw them as weaker than my Dad, which turned me off and made me feel like I couldn't trust myself with them. Instinctually I wanted to get away from them. Then in my late 20s after I almost died in the hospital, my dad started to tell me more about his emotions in the past and present, and allowed me to see his perspective on my childhood experiences. Then I understood all the ways that he WAS hurting and how a lot of men turn to vices like alcohol, sex, and drugs to try to cope with the things they feel like they can't say out loud. They act like they don't care and nothing hurts them, but inside they are really vulnerable and a lot of them hurting. I wish men and women could understand each other more from a younger age. When my Dad finally started opening up to me somewhat, it helped me a lot in how I relate to other men in my life
Yeah but a woman will give 1,000 chances until it’s too late sometimes but what he saying is a man will only give you 1. Cheat on your man that’s in love with u or even in strong like with u and typically he will never view u the same and he maybe cheated 60 times but your 1 will Trump that almost im every situation.
@Red bow 100 they weren't real chances, it was wanting to see the regret, get a sincere apology. Most women who have been disappointed by a man can look back and see it was really over back at that 1st disrespect. We just hate failing and admitting we picked the wrong man, so we try fixing the unfixable.
Women need to start adopting this habit asap for those fuq boys and narcissistic types. If he fumbles your heart and uses your vulnerably as a weapon to intentionally hurt you, then it's time to go. Talk to God first and always, he will personally help you. God speed
This matters so much to a man. I learned the importance of creating a safe space for him to be vulnerable. To take it a step further by actually keep that information between us. Absolutely never ever throw anything in his face or tell anyone else. The ultimate level of disrespect in a relationship.
Yeah because these men are weak! Vulnerability is strength communicating what you need (respect, honor) is a strength! Men be fumbling hearts then blame women on why they can’t open up and be venerable when they have demons themselves. As women we have to stop these men immediately and identify…hmmm is his behavior showing strength or weakness because a weak ass man gone drag u down and make you say some shit to him just to be freed of him. Many men are burdens on women. They don’t even realize the burden they carry daily and they need healing not another relationship! Our men don’t heal they woman hop and then blame. Black men need to TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY and learn something from their women! Black women go through hell and always come out the other side why??? Cause we go get that healing and sit in our emotions. Drinking liquor, chasing women and money are all poor coping skills…then they wonder why they have kids all over America! They need to sit in them demons and call them out one by one!
People really need to understand and study HUMAN BEHAVIOR. Men need to stop it with the “we are more vulnerable” so we don’t open up. Man listen being vulnerable is a STRENGTH…If someone throws it in your face that person is a HUMAN and we all say things when upset and burned out. Forgiveness of yourself and others is very important and detaching from peoples actions will help others to grow. Everything isn’t about YOU as a person. I’ve seen my parents be married and fight and argue but they do the WORK to stay together and be better each year. This generation of men are SOFT and women are more masculine now to clearly teach MEN how to be more masculine. Women should not be out earning, our healing, and producers more than the man. I’m sorry! I’m old school! This is why men need more GODLY men around them, be vulnerable with your brothers..your woman doesn’t need to hear your every vulnerability…it’s called BALANCE. Nobody wants to be the other persons therapist, best friend, partner. And all things in between..we can’t be ALL things to people. If a woman is throwing a man’s vulnerable secrets back at him…the question is her character one, but if she was an overall decent human being what pushed her to go so low? You trusted her with your soul at one point so she had to be decent! Men will push a woman to her wits end and keep pushing until she gets nasty in a verbal encounter..We have to stop listening to WORDS and understand behavior and where that behavior stems from is the REAL ISSUE. Everybody wanna break up and be done when shit get thick…again our generation is SOFT! If a man can’t open up again cause he’s been hurt. He’s weak AF and don’t need to be nobody protector! Sorry..not sorry!
Knew this goes both ways!!! I told my ex personal things that I experienced in my life, and when he hollered outside when we were arguing I no longer told him anything that he could throw back in my face.
@@MegaRose1958 okay he was reacting in anger which is what humans do. Look at your own behaviors. What did you do to push him to go so low that he knew there would be no coming back from. You are probably toxic because humans aren’t out here hurting perfect humans. Has God forgiven you got your fuck ups? For your ways? Okay…so why are you holding someone to the cross that clearly was in pain.
I love how often videos tell us to be careful about how we handle the fragile male ego while simultaneously admitting to the double standards that bypass women’s emotional fragility. We are all human. Stop playing with people’s vulnerability in general. Also both genders should have to stand on the consequences when they do. Stop with the gender grooming. 🛑
When was the last time you heard a man throw a woman's vulnerability back in her face though? And it's a lot easier for women to be vulnerable than it is for men. So women should be extremely careful when we do open up.
@@macxavier168 "Daddy issues", "You're a single mother", "Modern Western Women", "Other races of women are better than yall", rushing the woman's healing process when you've cheated on her, being dismissive in disagreements because "men are logical and women are emotional", making women feel bad for not ONLY wanting to depend of the financial income of the man (that it makes us less feminine), etc,. Even back in the day men would leverage money over the woman ("I'm the man, I pay the bills, you not going to make it without me). Saying that a woman is "half a woman" if she couldn't conceive even though men and women are equally experience infertility. I'm sure there's a boatload more but those are the ones I thought of right off the top. I'm definitely not saying all women are saints, but historically, it has always been more societally acceptable for a man not to care about a woman's needs outside of money.
I think this is true… My husband was VERY vulnerable once when we first got together and it caught me off guard. I assured him it’s ok to talk about it and every so often he brings it up like WOW you are the only person I’ve ever said these things to. I don’t mind, I’ll be his safe space for life.
You have to heal, you must heal. Living in a place of darkness isn’t life. Life is beautiful and opening up and being vulnerable is a strength! Not a weakness. You must take accountability and VET properly on who deserves your soul, but you cannot allow another soul that maybe struggling with demons turn you into a cold individual because well then they won! You are the master of your destination. You are in control of you. Don’t let someone else who needing healing take away from your journey here. Life is short.
Yes it goes both ways. I remember opening up to my ex husband and every time he got upset he will throw it in my face he even tried to throw it in my husband now face. But my husband is strong minded that all he did was ask me did I wanted to talk about what he just said. He haven't thrown it in my face that's been 8 yrs ago. So I respect everything he tells me. Nothing gets thrown back
As a victim of this, yes this is and can be true. I allowed a woman to repeatedly do this for yrs without recourse from me for the sake of the family. NEVER AGAIN will I allow a woman to do so. Respectfully... Being mad and in the moment isn't a good enough excuse. It screams of emotional immaturity.
I believe when people are mad or “in the moment” is when they really speak what has been brewing in their hearts. Hateful words don’t just come out of the air because you disagree with someone. Especially if you respect and value them.
It’s funny how when will show men grace, mercy, patience, forgiveness anx understanding, but with men we’ve got ONE CHANCE to fumble the ball and we’re out! We gotta do better ladies and raise our standards and have ZERO tolerance as well….
I love men's high standards...ladies, if you don't want to be played, use the same. Shady women will "fumble hhe bag", same breath, a shady man will use your insecurities to gaslight and break you. All children of women should maintain these high standards and responsibility.
Be careful of the guy that's pretends to open up to you. If he tells you about everyone who's done him wrong or let him down. He's manipulating you so you will work hard to show him you are different so you will not let him down. Remember no real man wants to appear like he gets walked on by everyone.
So much pressure 😳😅 I try to be mindful of this but damn, we can’t have ONE bad day?! Women deserve this level of grace and carefulness, too. We are just as afraid of sharing our trauma and then getting it handed right back to us.
I believe a lot of people would do well to read books about fighting fair in relationships..... People often do not hold themselves to practicing the standards of how they want to be treated with their significant other, then hold grudges and keep records of wrongs,those individuals aren't fit to be in a relationship, female or male.
That’s it SIS!!! My belief is that when a woman that has given her body, soul and spirit to a man and he breaks her…she has what’s called no remorse. Many times when a woman goes so low to the point of no reconciliation..she’s done and been done but was holding on by a thread. Women need to be held accountable too and know when to let go of a man. We hold on because it’s in us to…but it’s also the reason a lot of our great grandmothers suffered…we are loyal to the nurturing and care to our men but they don’t nurture and care for themselves! Self love is the missing piece and unfortunately it wasn’t taught in school! When we love ourselves we walk away from things that don’t serve us…when we operate from lack and scarcity we hold on…to jobs, people, places, things that kill our souls!
Go to couples counseling. For an unbiased session to just listen instead of reacting. Use what you have available. Couples need accountability too. If You bring baggage into the relationship/marriage that hasn’t been resolved prior to please don’t expect your significant other or spouse not to take it for the team and be okay with it the first time you open up about your truth. This is something that needs grace. From both men and women. You’re supposed to be vulnerable one another. Let’s do better y’all.
Yes, if a person leaves after one instance of the scenario of which he spoke, there is no grace being in that relationship. Really people who operate in that manner need healing, and often expect the other person to be this perfect individual who will never hurt them. As humans we do hurt one another. And unless the relationship is toxic and unhealthy with no redeeming qualities, grace should be given by both parties.
Not only that but its two different people cmn frm two different backgrounds trying to come tgthr as one..of course sme clashing will happen, i totally agree with therapy, take the time to learn why that person communicates like tht, learn together how to speak to each other..like put in the work to mke it work!
You missed the point entirely. He's talking about having his vulnerability thrown back at him in an argument. Using it to hurt him, something that he told you in the strictest of confidence and trust. He opened up to you when society say that men should always bare the weight of the world on their shoulders.
@@MrMacSlapper I completely understood his point. I added a solution to it that’s all. Been there done that. Everything doesn’t have to end in chaos. There are healthy ways to express vulnerability and to come to resolutions together.
This is valid for women as well. You certainly make a great point. Emotional intelligence is important when recognizing that no emotional mature person is going to automatically express vulnerability. And once your vulnerability is rejected that individual will never experience it again.
This is so true. I was young when I burnt that bridge. I've spent years trying to build it back up again with that person after learning about my mistake. Be kind... that doesn't mean be a pushover or take shit. You can be kind, stop your tongue from lashing out and not be passive aggressive or judgemental all whilst respecting yourself... but the key is that you need to find that softness within yourself for yourself first, then it comes more naturally for others outside yourself 💛
That’s all facts ladies! That’s why it’s so important to be emotionally regulated so even if you have a response, you are still able to be present and empathetic towards him, listening to what he has to say and offering full support. Don’t forget to create that safe place for him because when we do that he won’t hesitate to return when his vulnerabilities show up again! ❤
I appreciate this knowledge and will apply it appropriately when the occasion should arrive My man is becoming my best friend and in doing so he's teaching me all the various ways he's to be handled as well as what he can bare But I definitely won't fumble in that area as it has been highlighted in this post and is such an important message to hear
It’s true for women too! I’ll never look at you the same after that. Mishandling anyone’s vulnerability will get the same results. Women just hide it better but it tells us, nope he’s not protecting me at all. Mishandling our vulnerability is also a sign that you lack protecting us in many women’s eyes.
I’ve experienced men saying I threw things in their face when I felt like what I was really doing is drawing a link between their behavior in the relationship and what they have told me they have been through in the past.
You can never get through it if it always comes up. If you chose to continue on with the relationship then give them the chance to show they have changed. You meant right but the past cannot be the past if it always comes into the present. What women need to do is ask "How" are they going to do better so they don't repeat that past mistake? When you get your answer, over time observe to see if they kept their word. 🙏
See the problem with this is women usually bring up the behavior "connection" when she is upset, to win an argument or to hurt his feelings to the point he shuts down. Now if you and him was just having a heart to heart, therapy session with each other and yall are both analyzing yourselves, then drawing a connection is fine, but instead of making statements it's better to ask questions to help him dig deeper and discover a connection on his own, you want to be a sounding board and offer reassurance not hypercriticism. It's all about the context and the way you go about it. A lot of women just want to chastise men to hurt him....and that's usually in a heated moment when she is in her feelings.
It's that behavior that makes it 10 times harder for women like myself to get a man we meet, to be vulnerable because of past relationships. I'm going thru this now. It's very disheartening.😔
Same thing apply to a man when a woman open up to a man from her heart and experience he throw it back in her face to being disrespectful I'm dealing with one right that's why I ghosted him
Men do tht crap with women all the time and we still function n forgive...some men act like 5 year old kiddos...that's the real world...people will throw things at you within arguments...that's why women are way stronger mentally
@@stevefontane6979 What? No, I'm asking whose responsible for creating the culture in which thousands of generations of men weren't allowed to be vulnerable?
My new man has told me some things that he said he never told anyone. And I’m humble that he could open up and express himself to me like that. I would never take him for granted or do anything to hurt because of what I have been through with my ex
Agreed. Going through divorce after 15 years together. 4-5 years prior she started disrespecting me and taking my kindness towards her for weakness. Warned her years before I wasn’t gonna take it and leave one day if she continued to disrespect me. Been a little over 4 months separated. I still love and miss her deeply but she just keeps blaming everything on me
You notice how you have no likes or replies… they don’t give a fuck about you being vulnerable right now as we speak. I feel sorry that they are so naive
I don't make a habit of disrespecting people but if there is only one chance and he's out than he is surely not the man for you. Men disrespect females weaknesses on a regular. Mutual respect or none at all. Within a relationship mistakes happen, a three fold cord should not be that easy to break. Moving FORWARD, NEXT!!!!
Same as for women.. don’t throw it back at her she will shut down and cut that emotion off and you won’t be able to get it back.. period! So take care of each other’s vulnerabilities with your life..
Sorry I was a beacon for my man treated him like a king, found out he cheated on me twice not once but twice, I don’t really care about his vulnerability
I know this feeling im like this I get men saying show me then I show me be open ...3 weeks later brings it up the minute I don't agree with them .I will straight say ok an then quit you that evening respects gone its nothing left .peace and blessings in your endeavors. I gave one man multiple chances which I don't do the minute he did just that it was over .lesson learned .
Yes true, Sounds like betrayal to me, And exactly what some women go thru too, my ex did that exact same to me, meaning I opened up about something that was vulnerable, and then later on have it thrown in my face, it's very hurtful and to me betraying my trust..
Hell this sounds like me as a women. You only get one time to fumble me being vulnerable with you. Cause I won’t be vulnerable for everyone. My cutoff game is strong.
Sadly I recently had that experience, I wasn’t a perfect guy but I tried to open up/share my vulnerability. She throw that right at my face right before her and I parted ways.
Wow we can do all this damage and still got to be his peace while he doing bullshit! I swear we gets no breaks wearing armor and gotta battle at every turn is exhausting.
But they think they deserve more than one shot,treat me how I'm supposed to be treated,how you want to be treated,don't do to me what you don't want me to do to you.
Ok, so because of society's program we as woman have to understand that a man vulnerability is so precious that we have to coddle this vulnerable man. Do you really believe that's healthy? many man that u have to tip toe around because of what society has placed on him needs to heal and say "F " society... " I will heal and bring the best of myself to a relationship, their is no perfection. If a woman mishandles my vulnerability all is not lost and get up and try again until it comes naturally. Can u imagine knowing that if I fumble a man's vulnerability he won't open up to me again... Wow, thanks for that info, I guess when I do present with imperfections in a marriage and fumble vulnerability I should file for divorced because I have fumbled this man's vulnerability and he will never open up to me again. With out vulnerability their is no intimacy and therefore,no true genuine relationship. OK, thanks for the heads up, I'll make sure I am really to file divorced every time I get married because I will fumble his vulnerability,I am only human... Get over yourself and you wanting to be coddled as if I am your mother, because u are being vulnerable... JESUS, when does this end? Are you aware of any suffering and deaths around the world, the magnitude of suffering all over the planet and all you could sit and say is that a man won't opened up to me if I don't adequately respond to his vulnerability.. that's fine, I rather adequately respond to the vulnerable Latino, Asia, African, south American who suffers from not having clean water or those who die of horrific death do to diseases. I am sure they will gladly appreciate my response to their vulnerability... SO RIDICULOUS AND INFANTILE, and grown man talking about never ever Opening up because a woman doesn't respond to his liking....it's laughable,😂😂😂😂😂
It's a true reflection of the lopsided views males have in relationships. They expect forgiveness anytime they screw up. If you don't forgive them they call ypu bitter. But they will never extend the same courtesy they ask for. We need to really listen to these men and return the right energy. Instead of adopting their ugly traits, adopt their philosophies. "Mess up once and it's time to close thay chapter." No second chances. We do too much and put up with too much. That's why they feel so entitled.
When a woman's vulnerability is taken advantage of, she's told to choose better. When she learns from her mistakes, and doesn't let it happen again, she's labeled bitter. When the same scenario happens to a man, he' s justified in being an asshole the rest of his life.
He can go be vulnerable with his mother. If she didn’t give him the nurture that he needed, there’s no way I will be able to. This is a mother wound that needs to be healed - collectively.
Yup this happened to me in my relationship, my wife. And I couldn't really ever open up. I tried..so when she opened up I couldn't be there for her like I wanted to...and when we fell out I brought this up amd she tried to blow it off but came back and gave a lame apology. But ye this shit so true. This what halted our relationship.
Women give men waaaaayyy more chances and therefore when we finally leave the relationship, its tough for the next man & can take years to heal. #GuardYourHeart 💗💙💞
I like how this guy speaks up for both genders.
Absolutely! He knows what's up lol😹can't stand listening to men act like their innocent and women are dysfunctional 🙄
For real! He has a balanced approach. That's what's needed here in this social media stuff, yet some men come here and say he pandering all because he not telling men to hate all women or that women are the axis for all evil.
❤
Exactly.. you can tell his isn’t just a bitter dude who brought a mic like the ones you encounter in the manosphere..
If women behaved this way it would be over for relationships because we give way too many chances.
Facts
Truth❤
I’m saying!!!
So do we women.
Then women would go around the circle and come back to the first one ,because there are only so many of us. 3 women to one man. Women think men are dogs so there is no good one, unless you plan on settling with another woman or a dog.
If you attack a man’s weakness he will build a fortress.
It was the opposite with me. The previous man I’ve dated was very vulnerable with me and I was with him. Any time we had a disagreement he threw everything back in my face and I never did it to him. I just stopped telling him anything. This goes both ways.
Women please take note and do the same. Require the same level of respect.
This where we fail as women. We have to do them the same way.
100%
Exactly! Do the same.
Learn to walk away
Right
THIS
This is very true. Women have to have a certain level of maturity for men to feel safe to be open consistently.
This is how I feel about cheating! Once a man steps outside, it’s over! There will be no second chances. Women need to stop forgiving cheating men. Not caring about how your behaviour effects someone else is very selfish. You want someone to care about your vulnerability but you don’t care about the other persons.
Yes I agree here. I can take some words…cheat and it’s over. My ability to trust is gone and I don’t want you to touch me now cause u cheated with a female that looks like she don’t wash. Bye! 😂
I feel sad that as a woman I was conditioned by my Dad to see men as superhuman, super strong impenetrable fortresses, and that my gut reaction for so long when I was exposed to male vulnerability was revulsion. I saw them as weaker than my Dad, which turned me off and made me feel like I couldn't trust myself with them. Instinctually I wanted to get away from them.
Then in my late 20s after I almost died in the hospital, my dad started to tell me more about his emotions in the past and present, and allowed me to see his perspective on my childhood experiences. Then I understood all the ways that he WAS hurting and how a lot of men turn to vices like alcohol, sex, and drugs to try to cope with the things they feel like they can't say out loud. They act like they don't care and nothing hurts them, but inside they are really vulnerable and a lot of them hurting. I wish men and women could understand each other more from a younger age. When my Dad finally started opening up to me somewhat, it helped me a lot in how I relate to other men in my life
It's the same for women with men. We may stay but that respect gets severely diminished. There is no love without respect.
Yeah but a woman will give 1,000 chances until it’s too late sometimes but what he saying is a man will only give you 1. Cheat on your man that’s in love with u or even in strong like with u and typically he will never view u the same and he maybe cheated 60 times but your 1 will Trump that almost im every situation.
@Red bow 100 they weren't real chances, it was wanting to see the regret, get a sincere apology. Most women who have been disappointed by a man can look back and see it was really over back at that 1st disrespect. We just hate failing and admitting we picked the wrong man, so we try fixing the unfixable.
No women stay abd forgive over n over n over again!
Men are built different!
Women when we leave that relationship is when the respect is truly gone!
Women need to start adopting this habit asap for those fuq boys and narcissistic types. If he fumbles your heart and uses your vulnerably as a weapon to intentionally hurt you, then it's time to go. Talk to God first and always, he will personally help you. God speed
This matters so much to a man. I learned the importance of creating a safe space for him to be vulnerable. To take it a step further by actually keep that information between us. Absolutely never ever throw anything in his face or tell anyone else. The ultimate level of disrespect in a relationship.
He fumbled my entire life & now he's fumbling someone else's heart. 🙏🏾 for her 🙏🏾
Yeah because these men are weak! Vulnerability is strength communicating what you need (respect, honor) is a strength! Men be fumbling hearts then blame women on why they can’t open up and be venerable when they have demons themselves. As women we have to stop these men immediately and identify…hmmm is his behavior showing strength or weakness because a weak ass man gone drag u down and make you say some shit to him just to be freed of him. Many men are burdens on women. They don’t even realize the burden they carry daily and they need healing not another relationship! Our men don’t heal they woman hop and then blame. Black men need to TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY and learn something from their women! Black women go through hell and always come out the other side why??? Cause we go get that healing and sit in our emotions. Drinking liquor, chasing women and money are all poor coping skills…then they wonder why they have kids all over America! They need to sit in them demons and call them out one by one!
It's called FORGIVENESS,most people don't know how to make real ,true,honest , genuine application of that word.🙏🙏🙏
People really need to understand and study HUMAN BEHAVIOR. Men need to stop it with the “we are more vulnerable” so we don’t open up. Man listen being vulnerable is a STRENGTH…If someone throws it in your face that person is a HUMAN and we all say things when upset and burned out. Forgiveness of yourself and others is very important and detaching from peoples actions will help others to grow. Everything isn’t about YOU as a person. I’ve seen my parents be married and fight and argue but they do the WORK to stay together and be better each year. This generation of men are SOFT and women are more masculine now to clearly teach MEN how to be more masculine. Women should not be out earning, our healing, and producers more than the man. I’m sorry! I’m old school! This is why men need more GODLY men around them, be vulnerable with your brothers..your woman doesn’t need to hear your every vulnerability…it’s called BALANCE. Nobody wants to be the other persons therapist, best friend, partner. And all things in between..we can’t be ALL things to people. If a woman is throwing a man’s vulnerable secrets back at him…the question is her character one, but if she was an overall decent human being what pushed her to go so low? You trusted her with your soul at one point so she had to be decent! Men will push a woman to her wits end and keep pushing until she gets nasty in a verbal encounter..We have to stop listening to WORDS and understand behavior and where that behavior stems from is the REAL ISSUE. Everybody wanna break up and be done when shit get thick…again our generation is SOFT! If a man can’t open up again cause he’s been hurt. He’s weak AF and don’t need to be nobody protector! Sorry..not sorry!
Hey Krew I usually don't like beards, but yours is nice and neat.
Knew this goes both ways!!! I told my ex personal things that I experienced in my life, and when he hollered outside when we were arguing I no longer told him anything that he could throw back in my face.
💯
@@MegaRose1958 okay he was reacting in anger which is what humans do. Look at your own behaviors. What did you do to push him to go so low that he knew there would be no coming back from. You are probably toxic because humans aren’t out here hurting perfect humans. Has God forgiven you got your fuck ups? For your ways? Okay…so why are you holding someone to the cross that clearly was in pain.
Found the psychopath!
I love how often videos tell us to be careful about how we handle the fragile male ego while simultaneously admitting to the double standards that bypass women’s emotional fragility. We are all human. Stop playing with people’s vulnerability in general. Also both genders should have to stand on the consequences when they do. Stop with the gender grooming. 🛑
Dang!!! I didn't even think about it that way!! You just said a mouthful 🤯🥴🤯🥴🤯🥴🤯
That's real 💯 and a lot of time men need to get before God, society isn't supposed to be programming you,What about Gods Word programming you????
AMEN!!!
When was the last time you heard a man throw a woman's vulnerability back in her face though? And it's a lot easier for women to be vulnerable than it is for men. So women should be extremely careful when we do open up.
@@macxavier168 "Daddy issues", "You're a single mother", "Modern Western Women", "Other races of women are better than yall", rushing the woman's healing process when you've cheated on her, being dismissive in disagreements because "men are logical and women are emotional", making women feel bad for not ONLY wanting to depend of the financial income of the man (that it makes us less feminine), etc,. Even back in the day men would leverage money over the woman ("I'm the man, I pay the bills, you not going to make it without me). Saying that a woman is "half a woman" if she couldn't conceive even though men and women are equally experience infertility. I'm sure there's a boatload more but those are the ones I thought of right off the top.
I'm definitely not saying all women are saints, but historically, it has always been more societally acceptable for a man not to care about a woman's needs outside of money.
I think this is true… My husband was VERY vulnerable once when we first got together and it caught me off guard. I assured him it’s ok to talk about it and every so often he brings it up like WOW you are the only person I’ve ever said these things to. I don’t mind, I’ll be his safe space for life.
As a woman this happened to me. I refused to open up again and was accused of having trust issues smh!
You have to heal, you must heal. Living in a place of darkness isn’t life. Life is beautiful and opening up and being vulnerable is a strength! Not a weakness. You must take accountability and VET properly on who deserves your soul, but you cannot allow another soul that maybe struggling with demons turn you into a cold individual because well then they won! You are the master of your destination. You are in control of you. Don’t let someone else who needing healing take away from your journey here. Life is short.
Yes it goes both ways. I remember opening up to my ex husband and every time he got upset he will throw it in my face he even tried to throw it in my husband now face. But my husband is strong minded that all he did was ask me did I wanted to talk about what he just said. He haven't thrown it in my face that's been 8 yrs ago. So I respect everything he tells me. Nothing gets thrown back
Respect goes both ways
Lack of accountability.
It does but respect means 100% more to men. Men are willing to die and kill over it.
Facts! Men, need to know it works this way for women too!!
As a victim of this, yes this is and can be true. I allowed a woman to repeatedly do this for yrs without recourse from me for the sake of the family. NEVER AGAIN will I allow a woman to do so. Respectfully... Being mad and in the moment isn't a good enough excuse. It screams of emotional immaturity.
I believe when people are mad or “in the moment” is when they really speak what has been brewing in their hearts. Hateful words don’t just come out of the air because you disagree with someone. Especially if you respect and value them.
He Speaks Truth To Edify Both Men & Women. We Need To Learn How To Grow One Another Or Get Out The Way Enough Is Enough Amen.💘😊
I'm so happy that my daddy taught me how to love and how to be a friend. I'm very honored when my man is vulnerable to me. Thank you for sharing.
I believe this. We both fumbled and I knew it.
This is so true. The relationship is never the same after that.
If u burn that bridge to the ground 🤣
You might as well leave the relationship
It goes both ways
It actually works both ways .
Agreed
Lack of accountability.
It’s funny how when will show men grace, mercy, patience, forgiveness anx understanding, but with men we’ve got ONE CHANCE to fumble the ball and we’re out! We gotta do better ladies and raise our standards and have ZERO tolerance as well….
This gentleman here is definitely a gem❤
I love men's high standards...ladies, if you don't want to be played, use the same. Shady women will "fumble hhe bag", same breath, a shady man will use your insecurities to gaslight and break you. All children of women should maintain these high standards and responsibility.
Be careful of the guy that's pretends to open up to you. If he tells you about everyone who's done him wrong or let him down. He's manipulating you so you will work hard to show him you are different so you will not let him down. Remember no real man wants to appear like he gets walked on by everyone.
So much pressure 😳😅 I try to be mindful of this but damn, we can’t have ONE bad day?! Women deserve this level of grace and carefulness, too. We are just as afraid of sharing our trauma and then getting it handed right back to us.
I believe a lot of people would do well to read books about fighting fair in relationships..... People often do not hold themselves to practicing the standards of how they want to be treated with their significant other, then hold grudges and keep records of wrongs,those individuals aren't fit to be in a relationship, female or male.
But yet we as women forgive over and over and over again.❤
That’s it SIS!!! My belief is that when a woman that has given her body, soul and spirit to a man and he breaks her…she has what’s called no remorse. Many times when a woman goes so low to the point of no reconciliation..she’s done and been done but was holding on by a thread. Women need to be held accountable too and know when to let go of a man. We hold on because it’s in us to…but it’s also the reason a lot of our great grandmothers suffered…we are loyal to the nurturing and care to our men but they don’t nurture and care for themselves! Self love is the missing piece and unfortunately it wasn’t taught in school! When we love ourselves we walk away from things that don’t serve us…when we operate from lack and scarcity we hold on…to jobs, people, places, things that kill our souls!
IF we are doing this to him, we don't respect him and he has wronged us on one or 10 ways...to get us this point.
Go to couples counseling. For an unbiased session to just listen instead of reacting. Use what you have available. Couples need accountability too. If You bring baggage into the relationship/marriage that hasn’t been resolved prior to please don’t expect your significant other or spouse not to take it for the team and be okay with it the first time you open up about your truth. This is something that needs grace. From both men and women. You’re supposed to be vulnerable one another. Let’s do better y’all.
Yes, if a person leaves after one instance of the scenario of which he spoke, there is no grace being in that relationship. Really people who operate in that manner need healing, and often expect the other person to be this perfect individual who will never hurt them. As humans we do hurt one another. And unless the relationship is toxic and unhealthy with no redeeming qualities, grace should be given by both parties.
Not only that but its two different people cmn frm two different backgrounds trying to come tgthr as one..of course sme clashing will happen, i totally agree with therapy, take the time to learn why that person communicates like tht, learn together how to speak to each other..like put in the work to mke it work!
You missed the point entirely. He's talking about having his vulnerability thrown back at him in an argument. Using it to hurt him, something that he told you in the strictest of confidence and trust. He opened up to you when society say that men should always bare the weight of the world on their shoulders.
@@MrMacSlapper I completely understood his point. I added a solution to it that’s all. Been there done that. Everything doesn’t have to end in chaos. There are healthy ways to express vulnerability and to come to resolutions together.
Exactly!!! And his trust grows AS he sees how you handle it!!! ❤
This is valid for women as well. You certainly make a great point. Emotional intelligence is important when recognizing that no emotional mature person is going to automatically express vulnerability. And once your vulnerability is rejected that individual will never experience it again.
Only thing I've experienced is men offering up fake vulnerability so that my heart goes out to them so they can manipulate me
This is with anyone! I have drawn back from a whole marriage due to teasing of childhood trauma. It is so hard opening up to people. 😔
This is so true. I was young when I burnt that bridge. I've spent years trying to build it back up again with that person after learning about my mistake. Be kind... that doesn't mean be a pushover or take shit. You can be kind, stop your tongue from lashing out and not be passive aggressive or judgemental all whilst respecting yourself... but the key is that you need to find that softness within yourself for yourself first, then it comes more naturally for others outside yourself 💛
That’s all facts ladies! That’s why it’s so important to be emotionally regulated so even if you have a response, you are still able to be present and empathetic towards him, listening to what he has to say and offering full support. Don’t forget to create that safe place for him because when we do that he won’t hesitate to return when his vulnerabilities show up again! ❤
I appreciate this knowledge and will apply it appropriately when the occasion should arrive
My man is becoming my best friend and in doing so he's teaching me all the various ways he's to be handled as well as what he can bare
But I definitely won't fumble in that area as it has been highlighted in this post and is such an important message to hear
Agreed smart lady, and all I can see is women saying we should do it too if men do it, not knowing men and women aren't the same
There’s so much truth to this. So much.
It’s true for women too! I’ll never look at you the same after that. Mishandling anyone’s vulnerability will get the same results. Women just hide it better but it tells us, nope he’s not protecting me at all. Mishandling our vulnerability is also a sign that you lack protecting us in many women’s eyes.
Men also do the same thing to women, this goes both ways.
Same for women. You give trust and no betrayal.
But if we act that way, we are considered unhealthy, unhealed, bitter, etc.
I can respect that that's vise versa. I love this man's calmness and his delivery in everything he says and he's such a handsome guy
Damn he puttin women on game here. I totally agree with the main message as well.💌
This goes both ways!
I’ve experienced men saying I threw things in their face when I felt like what I was really doing is drawing a link between their behavior in the relationship and what they have told me they have been through in the past.
You can never get through it if it always comes up. If you chose to continue on with the relationship then give them the chance to show they have changed. You meant right but the past cannot be the past if it always comes into the present. What women need to do is ask "How" are they going to do better so they don't repeat that past mistake? When you get your answer, over time observe to see if they kept their word. 🙏
@@SpiritualLifeCoach43 ummmmm. I understand that. Thank you, honestly! ❤️
@@mitchmvtchYou're welcome 🙏
See the problem with this is women usually bring up the behavior "connection" when she is upset, to win an argument or to hurt his feelings to the point he shuts down.
Now if you and him was just having a heart to heart, therapy session with each other and yall are both analyzing yourselves, then drawing a connection is fine, but instead of making statements it's better to ask questions to help him dig deeper and discover a connection on his own, you want to be a sounding board and offer reassurance not hypercriticism. It's all about the context and the way you go about it.
A lot of women just want to chastise men to hurt him....and that's usually in a heated moment when she is in her feelings.
@@chicagomycity 🙏🏾 thank you.
That’s with all humans.
Men or Women
Thank you!
disrespect is not tolerate 😤 💯.
It's that behavior that makes it 10 times harder for women like myself to get a man we meet, to be vulnerable because of past relationships. I'm going thru this now. It's very disheartening.😔
We women are too . Hearts must stay protected
Same thing apply to a man when a woman open up to a man from her heart and experience he throw it back in her face to being disrespectful I'm dealing with one right that's why I ghosted him
So true open up then use it against us later when a disagreement comes along.
Men do tht crap with women all the time and we still function n forgive...some men act like 5 year old kiddos...that's the real world...people will throw things at you within arguments...that's why women are way stronger mentally
Love your advice, it's a small lecture in minutes! Thank you, you're incredible!❣️
Also I love the thin mustache & fresh cut 👍🏻💕.
Too Much Fear........💯 💯
Women should do the same. I always thought that women give men too many chances.
I do agree
but society is way more supportive to women's vulnerability than men.
@@stevefontane6979Who made it that way?
Men turned women on men, ironically. But both parties are responsible
@@stevefontane6979 What? No, I'm asking whose responsible for creating the culture in which thousands of generations of men weren't allowed to be vulnerable?
On point women love and respect your man accept him how he is be blessed
Def goes both ways.
Ladies stop putting up with B.S when your disrespected don’t forgive him just move on !!!
Men can never be as thoughtful, as caring or as forgiving as a woman.
My new man has told me some things that he said he never told anyone. And I’m humble that he could open up and express himself to me like that. I would never take him for granted or do anything to hurt because of what I have been through with my ex
Agreed. Going through divorce after 15 years together. 4-5 years prior she started disrespecting me and taking my kindness towards her for weakness. Warned her years before I wasn’t gonna take it and leave one day if she continued to disrespect me. Been a little over 4 months separated. I still love and miss her deeply but she just keeps blaming everything on me
You notice how you have no likes or replies… they don’t give a fuck about you being vulnerable right now as we speak. I feel sorry that they are so naive
@@blacklivesmaga8117 it happens. Having no likes and comments won’t stop me from moving forward.
I don't make a habit of disrespecting people but if there is only one chance and he's out than he is surely not the man for you. Men disrespect females weaknesses on a regular. Mutual respect or none at all. Within a relationship mistakes happen, a three fold cord should not be that easy to break. Moving FORWARD, NEXT!!!!
Yep! Men- 1 chance. Women- 101chances!!
What’s wrong with this picture?! 😠🤬
Same as for women.. don’t throw it back at her she will shut down and cut that emotion off and you won’t be able to get it back.. period! So take care of each other’s vulnerabilities with your life..
Sorry I was a beacon for my man treated him like a king, found out he cheated on me twice not once but twice, I don’t really care about his vulnerability
I know this feeling im like this I get men saying show me then I show me be open ...3 weeks later brings it up the minute I don't agree with them .I will straight say ok an then quit you that evening respects gone its nothing left .peace and blessings in your endeavors. I gave one man multiple chances which I don't do the minute he did just that it was over .lesson learned .
That is true, not fair but true... Men do the same to us !!!!
This needs to change. Men must be resilient as well.
True.. but selfish because men fumble and expect a woman to give multiple chances. 🙄
Yes true,
Sounds like betrayal to me,
And exactly what some women go thru too, my ex did that exact same to me, meaning I opened up about something that was vulnerable, and then later on have it thrown in my face, it's very hurtful and to me betraying my trust..
Ladies start moving the same way ! He mishandle you in any kind of way get out of there !
Hell this sounds like me as a women. You only get one time to fumble me being vulnerable with you. Cause I won’t be vulnerable for everyone. My cutoff game is strong.
Oh, yeah, he opened the up alright. It was his way to manipulate me. 👍🙄
Men do that to us all the time
That's what my husband did to me . I opened up to him, and he threw it in my face everytime
ITS ON BOTH SIDES MAN AND WOMAN THE BEST RELATIONSHIP IS THE ONE GOD HAS FOR YOU TO LOVE EACH OTHER UNCONDITIONALLY AND NOT WITH CONDITIONS
What sweet eyes he has. Vulnerability sure is hard for us all ❤️
Sadly I recently had that experience, I wasn’t a perfect guy but I tried to open up/share my vulnerability. She throw that right at my face right before her and I parted ways.
Wow!!! Just wow!! Unforgiving.
Wow we can do all this damage and still got to be his peace while he doing bullshit! I swear we gets no breaks wearing armor and gotta battle at every turn is exhausting.
But they think they deserve more than one shot,treat me how I'm supposed to be treated,how you want to be treated,don't do to me what you don't want me to do to you.
So True KING!!! Never again!!!!
Ok, so because of society's program we as woman have to understand that a man vulnerability is so precious that we have to coddle this vulnerable man. Do you really believe that's healthy? many man that u have to tip toe around because of what society has placed on him needs to heal and say "F " society... " I will heal and bring the best of myself to a relationship, their is no perfection. If a woman mishandles my vulnerability all is not lost and get up and try again until it comes naturally. Can u imagine knowing that if I fumble a man's vulnerability he won't open up to me again... Wow, thanks for that info, I guess when I do present with imperfections in a marriage and fumble vulnerability I should file for divorced because I have fumbled this man's vulnerability and he will never open up to me again. With out vulnerability their is no intimacy and therefore,no true genuine relationship. OK, thanks for the heads up, I'll make sure I am really to file divorced every time I get married because I will fumble his vulnerability,I am only human... Get over yourself and you wanting to be coddled as if I am your mother, because u are being vulnerable... JESUS, when does this end? Are you aware of any suffering and deaths around the world, the magnitude of suffering all over the planet and all you could sit and say is that a man won't opened up to me if I don't adequately respond to his vulnerability.. that's fine, I rather adequately respond to the vulnerable Latino, Asia, African, south American who suffers from not having clean water or those who die of horrific death do to diseases. I am sure they will gladly appreciate my response to their vulnerability... SO RIDICULOUS AND INFANTILE, and grown man talking about never ever Opening up because a woman doesn't respond to his liking....it's laughable,😂😂😂😂😂
Big Facts 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
It's a true reflection of the lopsided views males have in relationships. They expect forgiveness anytime they screw up. If you don't forgive them they call ypu bitter. But they will never extend the same courtesy they ask for. We need to really listen to these men and return the right energy. Instead of adopting their ugly traits, adopt their philosophies. "Mess up once and it's time to close thay chapter." No second chances. We do too much and put up with too much. That's why they feel so entitled.
But what about when he do it huh? And then they feel we as women should understand outta here with that!!!
The Great misfortune is ,this is a 1 in a Lifetime experience. An action of one woman is felt by many.
Teach King!
When a woman's vulnerability is taken advantage of, she's told to choose better. When she learns from her mistakes, and doesn't let it happen again, she's labeled bitter. When the same scenario happens to a man, he' s justified in being an asshole the rest of his life.
He can go be vulnerable with his mother. If she didn’t give him the nurture that he needed, there’s no way I will be able to. This is a mother wound that needs to be healed - collectively.
Yup this happened to me in my relationship, my wife. And I couldn't really ever open up. I tried..so when she opened up I couldn't be there for her like I wanted to...and when we fell out I brought this up amd she tried to blow it off but came back and gave a lame apology. But ye this shit so true. This what halted our relationship.
Women give men waaaaayyy more chances and therefore when we finally leave the relationship, its tough for the next man & can take years to heal. #GuardYourHeart 💗💙💞