Considering Alucard's favorite cereal is Count Chocula and Alexander's favorite cereal is Frankenberry says it even more. Rather appropriate as the first cereal's mascot is a vampire, perfect for Alucard. And Frankenberry perfect for Alexander since he and Frankenstein's monster have a lot in common.
I love the fact that the guards were… guarding… the basement. Because it’s unlikely they would have reached that position during the siege, which means they were already there. And since there was no intel on an attack that night… Integra stationed them there JUST to keep Alucard in. It did work, to be fair.
Siege? That wasn't a siege lol it was a slaughter for the most part. Which gives more credence to that Integra stationed them there just for Alucard lmao
When my friend and I watched the actual Hellsing Ultimate, we lost our minds when we found out that Alucard _actually_ calls Seras "Police Girl", and that wasn't just a joke for the abridged version.
If y’all are wondering why they played “Shot Through The Heart” when her heart was on the opposite side of her body, it’s because in England they have their hearts on the right side of their body; just like they drive on the left side of the road
“Be a sport and grab daddy another beer, would you?” *The fact that he continued the alcoholic father joke even after a gun was pulled on him is just badass* 💀🔥🤌🏾
yes. millenium knew that alucard would think their plan was to cause him to release restraint level 0 and stay without backup lives, and that alucard would think he would outsmart them by absorving all the dead people of england. they builded on that, so they created shrodinger to trap him in with 3.7M+ souls. quite a brilliant plan may i say.
To be fair, the Brits did that to the Nazis in WW2. Made some false plans, leaked them to the Germans, then made a plan around the plan the Germans were making. It's how D-Day ended up working.
Sir integra, I apologize I tried to stop him. When I asked him to stop, he merely responded with, and mind my French. Some taken “Fuck the police”, he then proceeded to tilt every painting he passed on the way here.
“I cannot help but ponder the frightful headway we’d make if he put that kind of energy into his job.” I think all of London paid the price for that pondering XD.
I just realized, that implies hes either teaching Carrier pigeons to fly there, or hes stealing carrier pigeons from the Vatican, implying he has full unrestricted access to the vatican
"I killed a bunch of guards guarding a secret passageway." They were not guarding the passageway. They were there to let Integra know if HE left its premises.
More like they were there to TRY to keep Alucard in. Not keep the blondie out. One of those “I’m not trapped in here with you, you’re trapped in here with me” kind of situations.
I love this version of alucard, his twisted as hell sense of humor makes me laugh my ass off so much it hurts, that moment with the tilted paintings, I felt respect for him hahahaahahaha
What if they're secretly a couple? Like, Alucard is the childish one in the relationship and Integra is the mature one putting up with his bullshit Lol
Jan: "I don't give a shit, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a shit, I don't give a fuck. So if I give a shit, I might just give a fuck but I don't give a shit so I don't give a fu- fuck was that?"
Jan: "And so half way blowing me, the fucking hooker Od's on Heroin." Luke: "I really don't like discussing my Ex girlfriend with you." Jan: "I mean I still finished but what kind of shit is that?"
Luke: "Hello, Jan." Jan: "So, how's my favorite big brother doin'?" Luke: "Oh, you know; just killed a group of guards." Jan: "Shit, bro, You too? What's your kill count at? Nah, don't tell me... I'm winnin'." Luke: "They were guarding a secret passage way downstairs... Not really keeping it a secret if you keep a bunch of armed guards standing around it." Jan: "Well, you have fun with that, bro. I'm gonna go skullfuck that Hellsing bitch. And the old guys.. Ah fuck it, skullfuckin' for everyone! Come 'ere, ghoul!" *Wet skull crush noise* Luke: "Well, you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family."
His whole character is basically contradictory Nihilism given form. It's amazing. It's almost like he's self aware and just embracing the ridiculousness of what he is
the fact hes standing in a room full of nazis with a giant swastika painted on the ground, and he suddenly exclaims in excitement that he realized theyre all nazis lmao
When you realise that Integra is the basically the adoptive mom to the most op problem child...the hilarity of her calling him during his vacation trip is 100x more hilarious
I very rarely say this -- but if you do watch it, then start with the English dub. It's honestly one of the best voice acting jobs done for an anime. Also, the 13 episode anime is good. It's just not the manga. It's fun in a nostalgic-rainy-day-movie kind of way. The nice part is that both the 13 episode anime and the OVA have the same voice cast. Definitely nowhere near the same comedic level as the Abridged version. It has a serious tone. To be honest though, I feel like even though the Abridged version was written by TFS, it still sounds like what the internal monologue probably was when Kohta Hirano made the series initially. 😂
@@daltonamerson6117 This video is 4 years old, but Hellsing Abridged started in November of 2010. So 10 years. This video is just the first 3 episodes combined
I love the maniacal giggle Alucard lets out after Walter reveals that he tilted all the paintings in the hallway. The voice actor did an amazing job of portraying how crazy, and awesome, and terrifying Alucard is.
The thing I find interesting is the verse essentially says “serve god with fear and kiss his son or he’ll be angry and your death will be only a small thing to the disaster he causes”. Or to be blunt fear god or die to his rage.
Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and for thy possession, the ends of the earth. Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron. Thou shalt dash them in pieces, like a potter's vessel. Be wise now, therefore, ye kings. Be admonished, ye judges of the earth. *Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling. Kiss the Son lest He be angry, and ye perish in the way, though His wrath be kindled but a little.* -Alexander Anderson, Psalm 2:11-12
35:20 "Put the Police girl on the phone" "-Okay fine whatever" *In the background* "Integra wants to talk to you" "Why she want to talk-" "I don't fucking know just go talk to her I'm going for a walk" *door shut*
Alucard: "It was the Nazis wasn't it? Intergra: "No" Alucard: "bet you I'm right" Intergra: "bet you your wrong" Alucard: "Bet you your a skank" Intergra: "bet you your an asshole" Alucard: "BITCH I EAT PEOPLE!!!" That part will always be one of the most funniest things I've heard XD
"He then proceeded to tilt every painting he passed on the way here" "HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH" "Oh god, walking through that hallway is gonna give me such a headache now"
You know.. it’s amazing that this abridged version of the show is more popular and more watched than the actual show.. also rewatching this again for like the 100th time with a friend who’s laughing their butt off.
I praise the random chance that put this in my recommended and introduced me to this series. Not just the abridged, but the actual show. Such a treasure.
I like that Alucard’s already clearly decided Luke is going to suffer and die for ruining his tv, but it amuses him to be polite for a while. Well, polite for him, anyway.
mainly cause he knew luke wouldnt live or anyone but the only one who truely defeated him in combat is integra's ancestor 500 years ago *Van Hellsing* the only man who can beat alucard in a single combat and kept him in the prison of the dungeons to forever be trapped but apparently the hellsing family used him to fight the vampire menace over the generations after arthur by five generations of that bloodline only arthur's great grandpa used him and kept using him at integra
@@legend_gamer0474 to be fair i watched through alucards eyes.... i approve that adventure time was justified via dog eat dog (snoop Dogg Bones reference) but i digress alucard is just my modern day form.... he has no politeness... but i do. its why i did a acknowledgement to seras victoria as a king should for his subject's.... afterall she is a scion of alucard which is me personified.
“Honestly, if your going to have a dick fighting compititon with a woman, you must have started off with the worlds cruelest handicap. Which I’m sure benifts the 9 year old boy you have chained up in your private Vatican jet. Which was payed for how? Oh right, the generous donations from your followers to spread the word of god… all over his back.” Absolutely savage. I love it lol
I freakin' love the relations between Alucard and Integra. All they do is fight, but you can see a deep respect they have for one another. Seriously, only Alucard and Anderson have better chemistry.
They just... Fly right into the Vatican. The last one reads as such.... Ahem. Dear chief replacement. I am writing you this friendly reminder of your imminent demise. If you are wondering about the frequency of these letters, it is so i can instill as much fear as i can. As if basting a turkey. Which i will then proceed to have sex with. Thats right. I'M GOING TO FUCK THE FEAR TURKEY! Following me on Twitter @TheCrimsonFukr Sincerely Alucard
highlight for me:
"they say having a TV makes you violent"
"I say not having a TV is making me pretty violent"
That line only reminds me of my sis when the power goes out
@@M0ri_06 Truth
Pretty fuckin violent**
Alucard speaks the truth. Preach my crimson fucker brothuh!
Ngl thats edgy as fuck
There's something unreasonably funny about a centuries old vampire saying "ok mom" ironically to a human.
Far more than a century
He is over 500 years old
@@nathanmigneault8542 Yes, that's what "centuries", plural, entails.
@@TheAkrillion i read too quickly too see the plurial sry
Alucard is English so I think it was Ma'am instead of Mom
I just love how Alucard and Alexander are basically best friends if they’d ever stop fighting.
I hope you watch to the end of the series
Best abridged characters I've ever seen
Considering Alucard's favorite cereal is Count Chocula and Alexander's favorite cereal is Frankenberry says it even more. Rather appropriate as the first cereal's mascot is a vampire, perfect for Alucard. And Frankenberry perfect for Alexander since he and Frankenstein's monster have a lot in common.
So basically just best friends?
@@greganderson6371 quote from the end “you stole my heart.”
I love the fact that the guards were… guarding… the basement. Because it’s unlikely they would have reached that position during the siege, which means they were already there. And since there was no intel on an attack that night…
Integra stationed them there JUST to keep Alucard in.
It did work, to be fair.
Shit that makes sense. No wonder why those guards didn't hesitate to confront Luke. They were on post to keep an eldritch monstrosity in the basement.
or to keep people from snooping
Siege? That wasn't a siege lol it was a slaughter for the most part. Which gives more credence to that Integra stationed them there just for Alucard lmao
Let's be honest, they weren't there to keep Alucard in, it was to act as an alarm for when he gets bored
When my friend and I watched the actual Hellsing Ultimate, we lost our minds when we found out that Alucard _actually_ calls Seras "Police Girl", and that wasn't just a joke for the abridged version.
Alucard is Dracula Spelt backwRds
@@rudy4489 no shit sherlock
@@rudy4489 What does that have to do with my comment…?
Stop being serious
@@rudy4489 what was the point of your comments?
“Gentlemen, we, are nazis!”
Gets better with every watch
“Sir, our men are dying!”
“Who cares, they’re Nazis!”
Its the f*ckin-
🎵NAZiS🎵
Oh who are we offending, the NAZIS
"ATCHU"
@@antekknapek4635
Gasundheit! Gasundheit!
If y’all are wondering why they played “Shot Through The Heart” when her heart was on the opposite side of her body, it’s because in England they have their hearts on the right side of their body; just like they drive on the left side of the road
Not true but i like that reasoning better
you shouldn't post jokes, someone is going to believe it XD
Lol
This is hilarious! XD!
True? I dont know Ive never seen an Englander
The implication of Alucard being responsible for the entirety of High school of the Dead is hilarious to me
What part of the video is that. I've watched this like 5 times and never picked up on this implication.
@@jonaskutniauskas341111:17
@@jonaskutniauskas3411 11:24 the guy at the gate is the zombie that started the infection spread at the school.
The reason alone makes the joke funnier(since Highschool of the Dead was influenced from Hirano's work).
@@masterseal0418 That would explain the Matrix Boobs…
“Be a sport and grab daddy another beer, would you?”
*The fact that he continued the alcoholic father joke even after a gun was pulled on him is just badass* 💀🔥🤌🏾
Well it's not like the gun is gonna do anything more than sting a little.
Alucard is always dedicated to every bit he has every spoken.
Well that's what I would do if I had as much power as Alucard
Oh no it hurt, it's just that you know, I'M A FUCK-MOTHERING VAMPIRE!! This shit heals before it gets irritating
Its alucard of course he's a bad ass
I love how after Alucards “walk” in Brazil Integra immediately went to his twitter like she knew he’d tweet about it
Hes nothing if not predictable.
Do you know the song that played during the "walk"?
@@thedootslayer3339 I think it was Alucards' theme from the actual show.
@@thedootslayer3339 "Left foot trapped in a sensual seduction" not even kidding
@@lavans5721 my mind is struggling to picture that.
"oh fuck thats an anti-tank rifle"
...
" *OH FUCK THAT'S AN ANTI-TANK RIFLE!* "
*BITCHES LOVE CANNONS*
Can you add a Time stamp
Ask and you shall recieve Yawn.
@@keenmushroom8433 20:00
@@connormacgregor9460 tnx
Sometimes when my wife and I are bickering, I'll yell "BITCH I EAT PEOPLE" which stops everything and we both have a laughing fit
Relationship goals.
I'm glad I'm not the only one to use this. 😂
You just gave me a reason to get married.
'The only people you should be eating is me' - that should be her comeback 😂
@@Raebrained 10 out of 10 comeback
The moment when you realize that "planning around the plan that they will plan around our plan" was, in fact, a legit plan
yes.
millenium knew that alucard would think their plan was to cause him to release restraint level 0 and stay without backup lives, and that alucard would think he would outsmart them by absorving all the dead people of england. they builded on that, so they created shrodinger to trap him in with 3.7M+ souls.
quite a brilliant plan may i say.
@@ofekk213 and it only worked for 30 years. Honestly impressive
@@DrakonSvant TBF, it is the longest time he's ever stayed truly dead. And in this versions case, quiet.
To be fair, the Brits did that to the Nazis in WW2. Made some false plans, leaked them to the Germans, then made a plan around the plan the Germans were making. It's how D-Day ended up working.
@@lachlanmckinnie1406 they took a page from the book of btitish dam they could probably actually win a world war now😂
"Jokes on you I'm getting double immortality" dies first
I laugh every time
Pip: Hold that thought.
I guess two rights make a wrong?
Jokes on you, I got 3,000,000 immortality
Shoulda gotten triple
"HEY KIDS WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY"
*screams*
you gotta love this
Stop screaming!
*all start whimpering like dogs*
Sir integra, I apologize I tried to stop him. When I asked him to stop, he merely responded with, and mind my French.
Some taken
“Fuck the police”, he then proceeded to tilt every painting he passed on the way here.
Cue maniacal laughter
Logan: Yes
Your pfp is me when i watch this
"By carrier pigeon, no less. They just....fly right into the Vatican!"
Alucard is such a savage.
Trolling the Vatican by carrier pigeon is such a flex.
“I cannot help but ponder the frightful headway we’d make if he put that kind of energy into his job.”
I think all of London paid the price for that pondering XD.
I just realized, that implies hes either teaching Carrier pigeons to fly there, or hes stealing carrier pigeons from the Vatican, implying he has full unrestricted access to the vatican
That's the secret sauce used to baste the fear turkey.
“You’ve activated my Alucard” is one of the most iconic things I’ve ever heard
You can say that again
I have actually used this.
… I’m using that the next time I find a Christian
@@MothGM stop bruh 😭😭😭
@@ChrisJones-qv6ty never
"You know they say tv makes you violent but I'd say not having my TV is making me pretty fucking violent"
Luke: I'm near the stairs! Gotta get to the stairs! If I can get up the stairs, I-
*sees too many stairs*
AWWWWWWWWW F***!
I didn't think this was a quote at first
I didn't think this was a quote at first
I didn't think this was a quote at first
I didn't think this was a quote at first
"Hey guys, how's your health plan?"
*Soldiers start panicking and firing*
"APPARENTLYIT'SGREAT!"
That line is so underrated.
Agreed.
this whole series is underrated
I love so much.
How about the fact that that fight scene opens up WITH THE HELLSING OG THEME SONG. THAT SHIT HIT ME HARD.
plus the use of Alucard's Theme Song. So good
It's 2024 and I still quote "fuck you, that's how"
Lmao I heard my coworker quoting it the other day and instantly knew what he was referencing
I use it all the time 😂😂😂
Let's be honest, even in 2024 our repertoire of quotes has more than one line from Hellsing, hell for me it's 90% Hellsing references 😭😂
I use both this and fuck you, that's why
Same here and I'm not ashamed 😌😌
This proves to me that Hellsing would’ve worked extremely well as a dark comedy had Kouta Hirano ever decided that was the direction he wanted to go.
Hellsing had so much potential for so many Genres like the plot and characters are really well made
@@hunterofdarkness8329 I wish it was more famous.
@@serasvictoria9666
Or had a second season, the ending was perfect like the plot is just building up
@@hunterofdarkness8329 yeah
It had some pretty funny parts
“Where from?”
“Texas”
One of my favorite scenes.
Yup, we're pretty well like that.
Looks like we need more prayer in the schools 🤣
As a Texas I approve
@@driftkinggames4694 I definitely don't want to mess with you, then.
What part of Texas, Waco?
"I killed a bunch of guards guarding a secret passageway."
They were not guarding the passageway. They were there to let Integra know if HE left its premises.
DarkRoe The Nin-Bot or bait
Same outcome, his perspective, their reality.
If anything, they weren't defending alucard from an attack from the outside, they were defending the outside from him.
More like they were there to TRY to keep Alucard in. Not keep the blondie out.
One of those “I’m not trapped in here with you, you’re trapped in here with me” kind of situations.
@@jakedakin1 yes
"That's a stupid fucking gimmik, and everyone knows it."
That aged amazingly well.
“He Then Proceeded To Tilt Every Painting On The Way Here” that is world class assholism 😂
I'd be wondering if he did it while walking through the walls, though.
@@cecilrichardson2494 i knoww right😂😂
I thought that was implied
And of course he needs a evil laugh after doing the most evilest thing done by man kind
He’s asserting his dominance 😂
The fact we eventually got SCOUT TF2 to say "bitches love cannons" is a testament to how well this series was made
this is the most wrong-looking comment i had to read
Episode?
@@coffetrueno9791 Scout’s actor’s channel had a clip of him saying it
Ooooooh WHAT is that????
chili of destiny pog
I have no idea why, but Alucard's laugh over tilting all the paintings in the hallway literally cracks me up completely.
deaks25 same bro
27:42 got u fam
I love this version of alucard, his twisted as hell sense of humor makes me laugh my ass off so much it hurts, that moment with the tilted paintings, I felt respect for him hahahaahahaha
Same. I got into a 10min laughing fit ...
For me it was the "I was minding my own business" line. I lost it completely at his "I WAAAAAAAAASSS!"
Who has watched this shit over 10 times and still comes back every so often watch it all over again
real
I’m coming back every Halloween
At least once... maybe twice a year. Everytime I am reminded about the show.
i came here frm a comment under goblin slayer abridged. I'm not an anime watcher, so these abridged series are canon for me, heheh
"I'll do as a butler does...clean up" this should have been a line in the actual show
I think in the TV version.... Which was weird... He did... "I'll do what a butler does... Take out the trash."
I have a feeling Sebastian wrote that line. Can't convince me otherwise
@@KougajiCalling yup
I mean tbh the lines in the abridged version are just straight up better.
@@leeworley6727 yes but then the fact that the real version doesnt have as many good lines makes the ones that are extra savage
Considering the Queen's relationship with Alucard she'd probably approve any budget with claims labeled Alucard
Little do they know
There where probably a lot more but she had to leave a few
thats why the Committee stepped in and stopped her :P
@@Y0G0FU and then immediately allowed it once they found out what alucard's alternate method of having fun was
Yeah.
He was the girlfriend of the queen.
Man has some history to him kek
I like that Alucard and Integra fight like an old married couple.
F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-FORSHADOWING
@@morenothetacobro1731 wdym foreshadowing? It's literally everywhere
I mean, a blood oath is kind of like a marriage, no?
@@jamesproctor4568 You telling me that not the normal way to get married?
What if they're secretly a couple?
Like, Alucard is the childish one in the relationship and Integra is the mature one putting up with his bullshit
Lol
"That was a 70 inch... plasma screen TV..."
_"Tssss..."_
"So ! How can I help you ?"
“You must be the great alucard”
@@QuadratusTiberium”Sup”
@@benjaminmack9912 "I've heard quite a Lot about you!"
@@DillyDinslePickle "Oh really?"
"You know they say tv makes you violent well I say not having my tv IS MAKING ME PRETTY FUCKING VIOLENT" one of the best quotes
WRONG! Tv shows dont create serial killers! CANCELLING SHOWS CREATES THEM!
-Ray, Scary Movie.
The whole series is the best quote
@@stealthynaxo “Movies don’t create psychos, movies make psychos more creative.”
I DONT GIVE UP FUCK I DONT SHIT AND IF GIVE FUCK I MIGHT GIVE SHIT
@@TheNightWatcher1385 "People don't kill people! Death kills people!"
Police Girl: Chokes on blood after getting 20 blades in the back.
Alucard: “Yeah yeah, give me a minute.”
It wasn't like she was dying right away.
Right? I swear she gets dramatic over the smallest of things
@@thecrimsonfucker2767 saammee
@@thecrimsonfucker2767 yeah, so dramatic. Usually i feel pain with like 40 of them.
@@sushitime5052 you feel em? I have to ask is it in yet
"Oh fuck, that's an anti-tank rifle. OH *FUCK* THAT'S AN ANTI-TANK RIFLE" is still one of my favourite line reads ever. Just the "oh. huh. OH FUCK"
20:05
"oh that's a big fucking gun. " OH! THAT'S A BIG FUCKING GUN!" i love shit like that.
Jan: "I don't give a shit, I don't give a fuck. I don't give a shit, I don't give a fuck. So if I give a shit, I might just give a fuck but I don't give a shit so I don't give a fu- fuck was that?"
Jan: "And so half way blowing me, the fucking hooker Od's on Heroin."
Luke: "I really don't like discussing my Ex girlfriend with you."
Jan: "I mean I still finished but what kind of shit is that?"
Luke: "Hello, Jan."
Jan: "So, how's my favorite big brother doin'?"
Luke: "Oh, you know; just killed a group of guards."
Jan: "Shit, bro, You too? What's your kill count at? Nah, don't tell me... I'm winnin'."
Luke: "They were guarding a secret passage way downstairs... Not really keeping it a secret if you keep a bunch of armed guards standing around it."
Jan: "Well, you have fun with that, bro. I'm gonna go skullfuck that Hellsing bitch. And the old guys.. Ah fuck it, skullfuckin' for everyone! Come 'ere, ghoul!"
*Wet skull crush noise*
Luke: "Well, you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family."
"Hey guys, how's your health plan?"
*[shoots an immortal vampire]*
"APPARENTLY IT'S GREAT"
"Get her a cannon, bitches love cannons."
Has to be my favorite line in a while.
As a bitch I can confirm, I fucking LOVE canons.
@@kempolar9768 haha 😂
he aint wrong
@@keito-kun6618 agree
slap it on a t-shirt!
"Suddenly it reeks of hypocrisy, oh if it isn't the catholic church" easily one of the funniest jokes
Lol yeah
The one with little jimmy is nice too
I just read that as he was saying the line, suddenly i think that alucard would be a great audio book narrator
I'm the 666th.
@UhAhMan tomato tomatoe
"He then proceeded to tilt every painting he passed on the way here"
*giggles maniacally
Underrated line if you ask me
Also when Anderson says "You don't have to follow orders when your leader's acting like a daft cunt. Also, Maxwell's dead, so..."
Yeah, I was laughing a lot from this.
27:39
I can’t stop rewatching it
Favorite bit in the whole abridged series, with Jolly Wolly a close second. It's the laugh, gets me every time.
I love how this still holds up and is still THIS funny after this long.
Indeed😂😂😂
I love the way the major says "we are nazis." It's like he just realized it himself and finds it unbelievably funny.
I know, right? And to be honest, the delivery on the line really sells it, it just kills me! XD
most times I just watch it up to that point.
His whole character is basically contradictory Nihilism given form. It's amazing. It's almost like he's self aware and just embracing the ridiculousness of what he is
the fact hes standing in a room full of nazis with a giant swastika painted on the ground, and he suddenly exclaims in excitement that he realized theyre all nazis lmao
u- und ve- are nazis!
When you realise that Integra is the basically the adoptive mom to the most op problem child...the hilarity of her calling him during his vacation trip is 100x more hilarious
4:52 "Yes, mum!"
That makes it weird since Alucard says he's saving himself for Integra when he said he wanted you, and I quote, "Fuck the red out of those eyes."
It’s a complicated work related relationship lol
@@TheTruthFreed01 he described there group relationship as tags on p***h*b
Its more like Integra is the DM trying to controll a mass of murderhobo chaotic players.
Just the players have the DMs powers.
Damn those opening lines cracked me up : "HEY KIDS WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY" "HEY GUYS HOW IS YOUR HEALTH PLAN ?" "YOU ACTIVATED MY ALU-CARD"
"APPARENTLY, IT'S GREAT!!!"
“You done goofed”
“Oh you know...a real fucking vampire”
“GIVE ME A HUG”
"Hey police girl"
The voice acting, and script are better than most actual tv show.... I'm not kidding.
I can confirm, after seeing the actual un-abridged anime, Yon Valentine is pretty much the same in both versions personality-wise.
That's the best part LMAO
Yes yes he is 😊
You really didnt lie
That puts a smile on my face.
Even his brother lol
It's actually insane how fucking GOOD the voice-acting this entire series is. It's mesmerizing.
Everyone except Integra really, her accent is inconsistent
@@ivannpetermagerman2727 No your accent is inconsistent!
@@noahkarpinski1824 you don't know me
@@ivannpetermagerman2727 I dont need to. Your accent is so bad i can hear it through your reply.
@@noahkarpinski1824 tf?
I haven't watched Hellsing yet. This will be my canon.
Luckily for us all, Hellsing Ultimate is incredible and so tonally different that having seen either before the other doesn't matter lol
I've considered Hellsing to be my favorite Anime for a long time. Now it's second. First is this.
This Abridged is exceptionally well done. One of only a couple that I've actually really enjoyed.
Well, bitches do love cannons
I very rarely say this -- but if you do watch it, then start with the English dub. It's honestly one of the best voice acting jobs done for an anime. Also, the 13 episode anime is good. It's just not the manga. It's fun in a nostalgic-rainy-day-movie kind of way. The nice part is that both the 13 episode anime and the OVA have the same voice cast. Definitely nowhere near the same comedic level as the Abridged version. It has a serious tone. To be honest though, I feel like even though the Abridged version was written by TFS, it still sounds like what the internal monologue probably was when Kohta Hirano made the series initially. 😂
19:01 "And Alucard is being..
- Alucard.
- A total ass, yes" 😂😂😂
This is almost 10 years old, and we're still coming back for it. It's truly an amazing work of art.
@@daltonamerson6117 This video is 4 years old, but Hellsing Abridged started in November of 2010. So 10 years. This video is just the first 3 episodes combined
Hellsing was aired at 2001 the old version one and the Hellsing Ultimate aired was 2006
I watch it every day... >_> not sorry
undoubtedly
10 years?!
This went from "wtf am I watching?!?!?" to "why tf wasn't I watching this before!?!?!"
Congratulations and be glad you didn't find it 6 years ago waiting the year for the next episode :P
The next step is “why the fuck aren’t any of my friends watching this??” That’s where I’m at right now, and have been for the past six months.
Congratulations. It won’t be long until you can word for word recited every episode. About 6 times rewatching
Jesus wants a hug!
@@sniptaclar5568 Truer words have not been spoken
Alucard: That was a 70 inch...plasma screen tv *inhales*
Me: I'm scared
Slick Walt we all are terrified
With Netflix
...with Netflix
@@eroalduin7305 at this moment the blonde haired demigod bitch knew.....he fucked up
Tbh, if someone destroyed my television, I think I'd be a bit pissed off too.
Watching this in 2024, I can totally understand why this took off. My favorite part is the voice acting, everyone sold it
That and the jokes, fr some just land so well
Like the cereal jokes
@ my personal favorite joke was when Alucard’s Netflix time got interrupted by Luke, bro just wanted to watch Adventure Time😂
"So what can I do for you, Father O'Mally'O'Connel'O'Carrol'O'Reilly'O'Brian'O'Sullivan"... "who is also Italian"...
I literally spit out my beer laughing when i 1st heard that🤣🤣
Tell a me Anderson, what is your favorite thing to do?
@@kriegertechpriest7011 spreading the word and love of jesus Crist to the many people of the world, teaching peace and love for all.
@@heartlessnobody1143 And uh killin a vampires?
@@kriegertechpriest7011 Just try and fukin stop me
the fact that Alucard killed Edward and Bella is cannon in my book
*canon. That said, bitches love cannons.
@@michaelgarrett45 nice
Behold the true end of the twilight saga.
ED........WARD
It was a great crossover.
" Hey dandy d*ck!"
"You missed"
'Whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whopp!"
That always gets me 😂😂
37:27
37:29
"You activated my trap card!"
" Oh boyyy!"
Me too
Zoidberg bruh
“Nah don’t tell me. Im winning” was unnecessarily tough
Love how alucard is cannonically responsible for the events of highschool of the dead
Seriously?
Shit maybe
"Bitch I might be."
And World War 1!
Wait. What?
I love the maniacal giggle Alucard lets out after Walter reveals that he tilted all the paintings in the hallway. The voice actor did an amazing job of portraying how crazy, and awesome, and terrifying Alucard is.
Takahata was/is a hilarious va
It's that petty kind of evil that we all love!
Fun fact taka aka alucard voices guru in DBZ abridged
@@jacksonhoggarth1531 he also voices Cell (all forms)
Walking through that hallway is going to give me such a headache now…
"Oh, fuck thats a anti tank rifle."
The man said calmly.
*followed by clear realization; followed by a loud repeat of the sentence*
@@CallofDutyBlackOps28 "Oh! FUCK! thats an anti TANK Rifle!"
It hadn't fully sank in yet. Then it hit him all at once.
@@Aaroncarter95 ... If he's THAT slow on the uptake, as a fuckmothering vampire, imagine what kind of dumbshit human he was.
Dumbledore said calmly
"Who is it?"
"Oh you know... A real fucking Vampire!"
🤘🏻😂🤘🏻
*fuck mothering vampire
"...And Alucard is being-"
"Alucard ?"
"A total ass , yes."
Doesn't get old.
Alucard" YOUR A TOTAL ASS...AND THAT PLACE IS A HOLE"!
You are right
Hey shizu chan you doing service to the great one
@@mass_for_dead for the Sorcerer King
@@afinoxi yes
This series is old enough that “should it also be 3D” was still a relevant joke
My god you're right I've lost count of how many times I've rewatched this series.
it aged well considering Alucard calls it a gimic
I remember a time when people laughed at the "You done goofed" joke. Good times.
Plasma TV was peak performance
@@quickman2663 I still quote that line when I'm playing borderlands. Getting a second wind and immediately wrecking shit is a great time for it.
Fun fact: that line Anderson is saying as he walks through the hall is actually what he says in the show.
Jan or luke
@@jaredstar …Alexander.
@@jaredstar Those are the Valatine Brothers
The thing I find interesting is the verse essentially says “serve god with fear and kiss his son or he’ll be angry and your death will be only a small thing to the disaster he causes”. Or to be blunt fear god or die to his rage.
Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and for thy possession, the ends of the earth. Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron. Thou shalt dash them in pieces, like a potter's vessel. Be wise now, therefore, ye kings. Be admonished, ye judges of the earth. *Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling. Kiss the Son lest He be angry, and ye perish in the way, though His wrath be kindled but a little.*
-Alexander Anderson, Psalm 2:11-12
10+ years on, in reference to 3D tv: “No that’s a stupid fucking gimmick and everybody knows it” seems especially prescient.
35:20
"Put the Police girl on the phone"
"-Okay fine whatever"
*In the background*
"Integra wants to talk to you"
"Why she want to talk-"
"I don't fucking know just go talk to her I'm going for a walk" *door shut*
The casualty of that conversation is unusually wholesome
NOT THE WALKS!!!!!!
"---NNNOOOOOO--"
You’ve been like really quiet for like 5 minutes
@@sebastianb.3978 Seems like a casual conversation between me and my friends
"How much of the series can you quote at this point?"
*YES*
😂 accurate I can run through whole episodes in my head
All of it
LITERALLY ❤️
ALL.👏 OF.👏 IT.👏
*N E A T*
"I could try seducing him... Wait! I'm not an Eight Year old boy!" I nearly spit all over my screen when she said that
I *did* spit all over over my screen so FML/
seth federoff I'VE WATCHED THIS SO MANY TIMES AND NOT ONCE DID I REALIZE THAT THAT IS WHAT SHE SAID OHMIGOD
seth federoff ALUCARD: ITS NATIS. INTEGRA: it's the fucking NATISSS
best reference to kids? "generous donations to spread the love of jesus Christ, all over [the boys] back!"
i fucking choked on my spit from laughing when the guard was being forced to read the script and crying
Every October I watch this from start to finish. It is a ritual of mine I very much enjoy
I absolutely love how they managed to make Walter introducing himself to Jan even more badass than in the original. Which is a fucking FEAT.
So true
Why ain't you the fucking textbook definition of classy? But guess what jeevs?
@@cunningsmile4166 That garrotte wire won’t do shit for dick against armour this thick, what’s that Alfred how thick is it?
@@michaelverissimo2666 so thick you'd need a fucking antitank rifle yo pierce it!
And I don’t see a piece on your wrinkly old ass
"You activated my Alu-Card"
This aint even a rap why yall got so many bars
Arm bars for days
@@goh8899 arm bars for days?
So you activated my trapcard ,bitches love cannons , and 2000 direkt damage to your face
Alucard: "It was the Nazis wasn't it?
Intergra: "No"
Alucard: "bet you I'm right"
Intergra: "bet you your wrong"
Alucard: "Bet you your a skank"
Intergra: "bet you your an asshole"
Alucard: "BITCH I EAT PEOPLE!!!"
That part will always be one of the most funniest things I've heard XD
*One trip to Brazil later*
Alucard: ITS NAZIS
(wait, wrong anime)
It had to be a large organised group.
Like the Nazis?
That would be r-slurred
Gentleman. We are Nazis
Alucard isn't as dumb as he acts..
@@skinwahandsich Und we will have WAR.......
#truelove
Can we just say that this has one of the absolute best opening songs? It’s so chaotically appropriate. 😂
_"And_ ...all of the sexual harassment."
"....I'm not apologizing."
this kills me every single time
me too :D
You sound like activision blizzard lol 😂
And he isn't even the worst offender apparantly.
@@lazydelibird I think, that Alucard reported Integrafor sexual harassment, which is I think even funnier.
@@vojtadrasner2440 Hello.... Police girl...
"He then proceeded to tilt every painting he passed on the way here"
"HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH"
"Oh god, walking through that hallway is gonna give me such a headache now"
27:40
Only Alucard
Speaking of headaches, a very curious letter arrived for you in the mail.
The absolute MADMAN
"Grade A assholism."
"Release restraint level one"
"Level what"
anyone get strange kaio-what deja vu from this?
Lol actually yes. Not surprising. It's one of their best gimmicks
Totally!
Kaioken!
*Kaio-what? AUGH!*
A what?
I’m getting the weirdest case of deja-mustard right now
You know.. it’s amazing that this abridged version of the show is more popular and more watched than the actual show.. also rewatching this again for like the 100th time with a friend who’s laughing their butt off.
It’s because of Alucard that now it’s a goal of mine to go to Rio just to shout “JESUS WANTS A HUG!!!”
There's a shirt btw.
Teehee
**maniacal laughing**
I live here and have done it multiple times
@@duduofthesky WOW!!!111
I love how Alucard and Anderson both wonder the same thing about Leprechauns
John Stark I mean I would wonder too am I weird or •_• a vampire 🧛♀️
John Stark no, alucard wonder about his gun, Alexander wonder about his bayonet. BIIIIIIIIGGGGG difference
Thomas takes a toll for the dark they still wondered if they would spill out lucky charms
Hey not after alucard makes a reference to llamas with hats by shooting somone 37 time just like carl
FCC
Integra: All of the sexual harassment
Alucard: I'm not apologizing
Integra seems to have been worse, somehow
Integra: Good. Neither am I.
@@connorharris1806 RIGHT?
Alucard isn't apologiving for reporting Integra
@@jeremiahorton3753 underrated comment
I rewatch this series every year right around October for Halloween, this is year 10
"Hey guys, hows your health plan?"
*Opens fire*
"APPARENTLY ITS GREAT!"
That is me and my friends on any fps game ever. Both sides of it.
"Father O'Malley'O'Connel'O'Carrol'O'Reiley'O'Brian"O'Sullivan"
This Celt is 200% Irish
Who is also italian.
50% Italian.
there is no Mac/Mc in there, he is only 150%
who's also Italian
Celtic Celtic Celtic Celtic. I’m 100% Celtic
“And...all of the sexual harassment”
“...I’m not apologising for that”
lol
Even though she is the biggest offender.
@@dr.bright6272 only to seras
@@stinger59605 I think it still counts
@@dr.bright6272 *imagine them all with chainsaws*
I praise the random chance that put this in my recommended and introduced me to this series. Not just the abridged, but the actual show. Such a treasure.
Taka’s delivery of “You Cheeky Dickwafle” to this day is still one of my favorite parts of this series.
The maniacal giggle as he said it
Besides every other part, of course.
"hi guys, hows your health plan"
**cop opens fire**
" APPARENTLY IT'S GREAT!"
love that delivery.
I loved the background music for it XD
Was the delivery the line or the bullets either way I'm pleased by the joke🤣
And the "how's your kill count? Nah don't tell me.. I'm winning" Golden 😂
I like that Alucard’s already clearly decided Luke is going to suffer and die for ruining his tv, but it amuses him to be polite for a while.
Well, polite for him, anyway.
mainly cause he knew luke wouldnt live or anyone but the only one who truely defeated him in combat is integra's ancestor 500 years ago
*Van Hellsing*
the only man who can beat alucard in a single combat and kept him in the prison of the dungeons to forever be trapped but apparently the hellsing family used him to fight the vampire menace over the generations after arthur by five generations of that bloodline only arthur's great grandpa used him and kept using him at integra
Yeah it was polite if I was alucard I'd have already put a bullet in his ass
It was Adventure Time. He had to be murdered brutally.
@@legend_gamer0474 to be fair i watched through alucards eyes.... i approve that adventure time was justified via dog eat dog (snoop Dogg Bones reference) but i digress alucard is just my modern day form.... he has no politeness... but i do. its why i did a acknowledgement to seras victoria as a king should for his subject's.... afterall she is a scion of alucard which is me personified.
there is a time-honored tradition that all people tend to do at some point in their lives:
_"Playing With Your Food."_
"Walter, what are we looking at in terms of collateral."
"The Alucard amount."
I fucking love Abridged Walter.
Idk why but one of the funniest things is the fact that Alucards telepathy gets muffled when held to Police Girl's chest
I read your comment right as the exact scene played 🤣
It's quite the chest
@@deckertristan1533 WE SAW IT AT THE SAME TIME THAN BUT LIKE 6 MONTHS APART
40:02 I find it hilarious that Alucard’s first tweet is just “it’s nazis” with NO CONTEXT, lol
And it is still there
@@gabrielrodriguez9229 wait…that’s a real tweet?
Honestly, why am I surprised? I already knew the account was real, why wouldn’t this?
@@WorldWeave First *and only* tweet mind you. Fucking great honestly.
@@stevenpg9517 nah @thecrimsonfckr has more tweets
Best part of it is the Hastings that fantastic
"No little timmy glued to your crotch? Progress." Is one of the wildest things to say in the first episode
It tells you straight up what youre in for. I can respect that
"I could try seducing him... wait, no, I'm not an 8 year old boy! Sht!"
“Honestly, if your going to have a dick fighting compititon with a woman, you must have started off with the worlds cruelest handicap. Which I’m sure benifts the 9 year old boy you have chained up in your private Vatican jet. Which was payed for how? Oh right, the generous donations from your followers to spread the word of god… all over his back.”
Absolutely savage. I love it lol
I didn't quite got the reference. . . help???
@@meenal7888some members of the Catholic Church were pedos
Such a quotable parody I’ve lost track of how much I quote this whole series 🤣
I freakin' love the relations between Alucard and Integra. All they do is fight, but you can see a deep respect they have for one another. Seriously, only Alucard and Anderson have better chemistry.
J. K. Rowling:"And, thus, I declare, Alexander Anderson and Alucard were in secret, but deeply passionate relationship."
@@crescento7002 Shit...not J.K Rowling
@@rina6539 not that bitch, she-who-destroys-her-own-novel-series, she could have made harry super awesome like alucard but Nooh!
Mad Turnip I think their chemistry can be summarized as "Fuck you and I'll see you tomorrow" and that's goddamn great.
It is best described as tags on pornhub
No character in the series was ever in more danger than Luke after destroying Alucard’s TV.
wrong
you forgot walter after he crushed anderson's head
@@nathanmigneault8542 WALTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
No I didn't😖😖😖😖 he broke it
Some people say tv makes you violent but I'd say losing my tv is making me pretty fucking violent
“He sent over 200 death threats to the pope... by carrier pigeon no less”
That honestly makes it funnier.
They just... Fly right into the Vatican.
The last one reads as such.... Ahem.
Dear chief replacement. I am writing you this friendly reminder of your imminent demise. If you are wondering about the frequency of these letters, it is so i can instill as much fear as i can. As if basting a turkey. Which i will then proceed to have sex with. Thats right. I'M GOING TO FUCK THE FEAR TURKEY!
Following me on Twitter @TheCrimsonFukr
Sincerely Alucard
@first sur soooo~ that apology~?
Interesting. But do you think Alucard will go?
400*
Ive rewatched these so many times and its always entertaining
“Give me a hug”thats fucking scarier than “FIGHT ME”
I mean, a hug sounds innocent enou-
*chainsaw noises*
OH GOD IT BURNS, *IT BUUUUURNSS!*
"But I....You...! *What the fuck*!?"
Melvin: Did somebody ask for a hug?
26:58 ALUCARD: HEY KIDS, WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY!?
WILD GEESE: (Screaming)
"The nearest elementary school is at least 10 kilometers away" that was dark XD
Nice
It's funny that Alucard knows that
@Alexander The Accursed meh... same shit, different direction.
It’s fucking Alexander Anderson the perist
Dark humor
"Oh shame for you... You activated my ALU-CARD" has gotta be the BEST line in this entire series
no no, "im a fuck mothering vampire" but yours is a minisule difference to second place
It has one of the best deliveries.
It's still one of my favorite thing to watch years later.