Sorry about the drop in audio quality, folks. As it turns out, AC/DC doesn't like people using their music and copyright struck the video. We had to edit it out accordingly. However, it's still up unedited on Twitch! www.twitch.tv/videos/294892576?collection=Y4Lf2g4TSRXQGQ
Not gonna lie, Sir Penwood went out like a real badass _"When you get to hell tell em Penwood sent you, and then apologize on my behalf for the inconvenience!"_
"When you get to hell, tell' em Sir Penwood sent you, AND THEN APOLOGISE ON MY BEHALF FOR THE INCONVENIENCE" Most gentleman-badass line in anime history
It's awesome because he's basically saying "By sending you down to hell, I'm causing the demons down there an inconvenience just with who you are." "You ain't shit" taken to an extraordinary level.
@iceboy1053 late to this, but that wasn't a small boom by any stretch, given I believe they were underground, and it was pulled back to above the tops of the buildings
Fun fact: According to Kaiser, Jan going off script in the intro was actually unscripted, apparently the VA did that unprompted after getting in character.
When they called Anderson "The Angel's Dust", it was a reference to the hentai manga that Hirano took inspiration from and recycled to create Anderson. Pretty nice reference.
@@xelestial_sky Fun fact, Hirano was actually writing Hentai before he started Hellsing. He decided to branch out a bit and wrote a little one shot called Hellsing: Legends of the Vampire Hunter, which was a hentai itself, before deciding he wanted to do more with the premise, so he reworked it, removed the erotic stuff and upped the action, and now we have Hellsing as we know it.
"The funny thing is, in any other circumstance, you might have had a point there. Except my boss is a woman, I was a chick in the forties, I HATE EVERYONE EQUALLY, and there's no one alive who can comprehend my sexual preference" Best. Line. Ever. XD
Man I don't know what I find funnier. The Catholic church strong-arming you into helping us, or the fact that you obviously haven't seen what I did to the statue of big J!
@@allmyself666 I admit my first thought was that he was implying that the Queen was out hunting Nazi's during WW2. It was only the later repeats of the line that made me realize he was apparently a woman back then (never watched the actual series).
@@siftknife761 I’m guessing it’s just a play on word since when you’re cold you ended up with blue balls which also meant pent up sexual urges. While the Cold War is purely intelligence war as opposed to an actual war where there are armies involved
@@siftknife761 The Cold War (a period of geopolitical tension between the Soviet Union and the United States and their respective allies, the Eastern Bloc and the Western Bloc) was often thought to be the catalyst to the beginning WWIII. Of course this was never the case. The Major is a self described "...pravayer of war" certainly would have eagerly excepted the two nations to bring about WWIII during the tension, only for that possibly to fail after the fall of Russian communism- The Soviet Union- in 1991.
27:50 the fact that Pennwood was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and lived like a coward but then went out with a blaze of glory does my heart good
I love the touch of throwing in one of Anderson's jubilant "AAAAAMEN!"'s that he was so fond of in the original. I think they really captured the spirit of him there.
"This reminds me of when I kept your bed warm during the blitz." "I was a chick in the 40s" "Wait a second, that implies that the queen-" "INTERRUPT ME AGAIN REGGIE!"
I think there is some level of thought for Anderson using bayonettes instead of knives. Knives are tools to be used for lots of things, a bayonet is specifically manufactured to kill.
@@St33lStrife people don’t put bayonets on their guns when they go hunting (for example) because the thing you are hunting and trying to eat will be dead before if could get to you and more importantly the one round is really all you need if you are skilled but at the end of the day you are there for a purpose and this is to EAT. On the other hand, if you put a bayonet on your gun, its probably because in the event you run out of ammo you need to still be able to KILL. Bayonet serve a specific purpose and will rarely, if ever, be seen on civilian weaponry.
@@DaltCity Bayonets have been obsolete since the end World war 2. Bigger magazine capacities as well as semi/fully automatic for standard issue weapons means bayonets are effectively useless outside of use as a general tool for soldiers, though there do exists a handful of modern examples of people stabbing someone in war.
@@yddet4369 well yes obviously it’s obsolete now lol. Nobody charges front lines anymore when the front line have enough ammo to kill 1000+ men with little to no downtime between fire. I’m talking about the original purpose of the bayonet. Now they are just a tool like any other knife due to the power creep of war.
@@jarvawolf4369 Remind me again who has the larger country... Because it sure as hell ain't the British. But forgive us for being polite while addressing omniscient beings
The shots of Alucard kicking the door open to Meridith Brooks' "Bitch" will never not kill me. Repurposing everyone's reaction to Alucard for the song worked so well. Maxwell's disgusted awe is perfect for it.
‘Disgusted awe’ That’s actually a great way to describe Maxwell’s entire feelings about the Hellsing Organisation. He hates them, truly, but he is in awe of their tenacity, considering how young their leader and organisation are and how small their forces are. Hellsing only had about 100 people max in their workforce prior to the Valentine attack, compared to the thousands of Iscariot Agents, and have only been around for about 100 years compared to the almost 600 year history of Section XIII
@@protalghulnist4126 true but Alucard only unleashed his sea of familiars once, and prior to that nobody except Integra and Walter even knew about the true scope of Alucard’s powers. Hell, Maxwell only clicked that Alucard was Vlad Tepes *after* he’d released the final restraint
"Walter, there's something you need to know." "This is no time for 'goodbye's', madam." "No, I- I don't know how to drive. You have *literally* driven me everywhere since I was ten." Love that line
Anderson: "And why are the necessary evil?" Escariots: "Because noone else will...." Anderson: "AND BECAUSE ITS F***ING FUN!!!" truly captured the insanity of Father Anderson and Alucard. Way Better than the original
@@Nosretep Because clearly someone who's gay taking joy in the idea that a pair of characters they like might be gay too is just the most abhorrent thing that anyone could ever do, right?
@@kiraina25 Nope. Most of the time it's just astraight girl's fetish. They do the same think with real people like Markiplier x Jack. It's been know to ruin real life friendships apparently.
The Strangest thing is the relative lack of hentai of them. And That is some thing I thought I would never say when it comes to the Internet and depicting characters fornicating.
"Oh, I see, so this is a CRUSADE!!!" "No, nonononono, we don't say that anymore. We're calling it....damn, what do the Americans say?" "Peacekeeping?" "Right! Now, shall we keep the peace." Maxwell is such a monster in every version, but I love the lines he gets in Abridged.
32:26 It's funny because when Alexander asks Yumiko to speak in Japanese, she literally responds with "Hai", which more or less translates to "alright, sure".
@@jessefisher2870 to my understanding, Japanese words mostly function off of the meaning itself, so "Hai" could be any number of ways to simply say "yes". Meaning "sure" is technically correct; the best kind of correct.
I find it hilarious that after watching this abridged version I can’t actually watch the original Hellsing Ultimate anymore, I keep expecting the hilarious lines. TFS killed it with this abridged anime
"We will make beautiful children..." *shoots the cat person thing* "Was that boy-girl bothering you?" A literal shoot first, ask question later scenario.... Beautiful.
Man I don't know what I funnier, the Catholic Church strong arming you into helping us, or the fact that you obviously haven't seen what I did to the statue of Big J.
@@cunningsmile4166 - That's not what Pip says. He says "Ton quoi?" aka "Your what?" (masculine form) , asking Alexander to repeat what he said. "Uh what?" would have been "de quoi?".
"Who are we?!“ "The necessary evil!” “Why are we necessary?” “To purge the world of evil worse than man!” “And why are we, God’s chosen few, ordained to undertake this unholy task?” “Because no one else will!” “AND BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING FUN! AHAHA-MEN!"
That’s not just a fantastic line. I can easily see that inspiring something truly badass in the future. I’m definitely gonna try and find a way to incorporate some of that into one of my stories in the future.
So I’ve been trying to find the song that goes with this speech, a few weeks back my brother was playing it in his car on our way to our folks but I’ve forgotten what it is
"But can't he fly with his vampire powers?" "Wh- what- no, he can't fly with his vampire powers!" "Then how did he get there?!" "On the Blackbird we appropriated-" "YOU *STOLE* THE BLACKBIRD!?" My favorite quote from this series.
I always thought he said "Slappers" and figured he was saying he wanted to grow his nuts back so he could bust one for her. I don't know why I thought he was a eunuch.
Many years ago, I was at a historical enactment after party. There was a pirate ship. With a cannon. In which shots were poured. Upon a successful shot, everyone shouted, "Bitches love cannons!" This was all due to this show. It was excellent.
Sorry about the drop in audio quality, folks. As it turns out, AC/DC doesn't like people using their music and copyright struck the video. We had to edit it out accordingly.
However, it's still up unedited on Twitch!
www.twitch.tv/videos/294892576?collection=Y4Lf2g4TSRXQGQ
Oh that's absolute horseshit. Send Alucard after them.
And here I was thinking they were cool.
😢
Bs
Big RIP
"My boss is a woman, I was a chick in the forties, I HATE EVERYONE EQUALLY, and there's no one alive who could comprehend my sexual preference . "
"So in other words Ms. Van Wrinkle." "Cha Cha Cha Cha Cha Check your privilege."
What annoyingly brilliant is that this comment has perfect grammar, reading it compared to most nowadays hurt my brain a little
@@BOTSLAYER2 well, space period .
@@BOTSLAYER2 So what's your problem Mr. "What annoyingly?"
@@Eye_of_a_Texan there isn’t one, I’m amazed by it
“The holocaust museum?”
“No, leave that be, no one will deny what we did.”
At least they aren’t trying to cover it up
Just shows how much man can underestimate the ignorance of other men.
This joke is probably the darkest yet funniest one in the entire show.
@Screw TH-cam what?
@Screw TH-cam fucking what? Lol
“Hans nooooo. And he was having such a good day. He got to burn down London Bridge, sing the song. EVERYTHING.”
"Sir, London bridge is falling down"
"falling down"
"falling down"
"London bridge is falling down. My fair lady
(what do we do)"
Nien
F.
Well congra-tu-lations
He is also the one who brought it down a notch at the beginning of the speech.
“How do he get in here?!”
“We had over a dozen guards”
“Those were ours? 😐”
I mean oh my god how did get through the guards-ss-ks?!
xD
“London bridge is falling down!”
“Falling down!?”
“Falling down!”
“London bridge is falling down...
My fair lady! What should we do?”
I can't believe they put that in there!😂
@@Pyrodorah They probably got the idea from the Muffin Man skit from Shrek
"Hans! No! And has having such a good day! He got to burn down London bridge! He sang ze song und everything!"
I literally died.
That shit will never not be funny
“London bridge is falling down!”
“Falling down?!”
“Falling down!”
“London bridge is falling down... my fair lady...”
*POW*
NOOO and he was having such a good day he got to to burn ze London Bridge, sing ze song, EVERYTHING
Fun fact London bridge is in Arizona.
Ja ja, 'London Bridge is falling down' we've all heard the song. Look, you be the first one to burn it down go ahead and sing the song, I don't care.
@@Vohlfied "what about the holocoust museam?"
"Leave that be, no one will denie what we did."
I died after hearing that
@@Massive_Legend_Here "Vat about London Bridge?"
"Ya Ya, Ve All Heard Da Song... If You Vant to be there to Burn it Down and Sing it Be my guest!"
Not gonna lie, Sir Penwood went out like a real badass
_"When you get to hell tell em Penwood sent you, and then apologize on my behalf for the inconvenience!"_
One of my favorite lines. A timid mans baddass boast.
Honestly, if I ever end up as a vigilante, I'd use that line.
As blatantly British as you can get
"Were you see one man i see four"
@@joaokenobiamaral3215 yes.
"When you get to hell, tell' em Sir Penwood sent you, AND THEN APOLOGISE ON MY BEHALF FOR THE INCONVENIENCE"
Most gentleman-badass line in anime history
*(small boom)*
Sir Penwood secretly Canadian
It's awesome because he's basically saying "By sending you down to hell, I'm causing the demons down there an inconvenience just with who you are." "You ain't shit" taken to an extraordinary level.
Most gentlemen-like "fuck you" I have ever heard.
@iceboy1053 late to this, but that wasn't a small boom by any stretch, given I believe they were underground, and it was pulled back to above the tops of the buildings
Fun fact: According to Kaiser, Jan going off script in the intro was actually unscripted, apparently the VA did that unprompted after getting in character.
exactly
Noice
Then that was absolutely amazing improv
Whose Jan?
@@magnusm4 Jan Valentine, the vulgar Valentine brother.
"Alucard, what is your sexual preference?"
Alucard: "The Queen"
Also Alucard: Integra or the police girl? Or all of them? Fuck it. All of them!
Don't forget Anderson
"Being right."
No it's "violence"
"Yes"
Alucard says “did I just accidentally a war” so casually, but then you find out he killed Archduke Franz Ferdinand and blamed it on a teenager
Which lead to ww1 the nazis then ww2 so he started 3rd and once again it’s all his fault
You see, it all started with the last spotted dick pudding in the fridge ...
@@Galvatronover You should see what he did to the Turks
@@hernehaugen6878 you should see what he did to his farther
llol
"London Bridge is falling down!"
"Falling down?"
"Falling down!"
"London Bridge is falling down... My fair lady! What should we do?"
lol
Nice to see people are still coming back to this
@@IraessRanza you mean like for the first time:)
I watch this shit at least once a month for
the last 3years:)
@@keffkeff160 haha same
@@IraessRanza Ditto.
@@ActuallySatan He was even the one that was burning it down only to get killed. Poor Nazi vampire bastard.
"How did he get in here?"
"We had over a dozen guards!"
"Those were ours?--- I mean Oh My GoD hOw DiD hE gEt ThRoUgH tHe GuArDsksks"
@Jaden Goore r/yourjokebutworse
@Alex Fielding r/redditmoment
@@cameronsmith4932 that’s fair
@@pedlar6839 r/Deskmonster
@@AceOfBlackjack r/whyamistillhere
"She's a woman?"
"She's 22?"
One of these I have trouble accepting
Which is?
@@somedickhead6255 which indeed
@@somedickhead6255 if you meet a 22 year old like Integra you get a ring ASAP
I get the Woman because well duh, but she’s fucking 22!?
??
“I demand your respect!”
“No, you demand my attention.”
Awesome lines
Jenna Taube incredibly underrated line
Coupled with Cell's "first you had my attention, but now you have my erection!"
@@moredetonation3755 you mean attention?
@@thomastakesatollforthedark2231 You know what Cell's about.
CH CH CH CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE!
When they called Anderson "The Angel's Dust", it was a reference to the hentai manga that Hirano took inspiration from and recycled to create Anderson. Pretty nice reference.
You say Recycled, I said Extended Canon
@@magoshighlands4074 nice
I always felt like Hellsing was a hentai. Explains a lot.
@@xelestial_sky Fun fact, Hirano was actually writing Hentai before he started Hellsing. He decided to branch out a bit and wrote a little one shot called Hellsing: Legends of the Vampire Hunter, which was a hentai itself, before deciding he wanted to do more with the premise, so he reworked it, removed the erotic stuff and upped the action, and now we have Hellsing as we know it.
@@magoshighlands4074🗿
"Judas Priest"
"Like zhe band?"
"Zhey were named after him!!"
Jake Saathoff such an underrated line
@@brandenapexo604 Lol, everytime I laugh.
Do u know the music that plays while anderson speaks in this scene?
@@HorohiwaGamePlays Shipping up to Boston by Dropkick Murphys
I love the line
"The funny thing is, in any other circumstance, you might have had a point there. Except my boss is a woman, I was a chick in the forties, I HATE EVERYONE EQUALLY, and there's no one alive who can comprehend my sexual preference"
Best. Line. Ever. XD
It was amazing
In other words miss van winkle,
*CH-CH-CH-CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE*
Haven’t you heard the sensation sweeping the nation bitches live cannons
Super Saiyan Michael AHHHHH
Man I don't know what I find funnier. The Catholic church strong-arming you into helping us, or the fact that you obviously haven't seen what I did to the statue of big J!
Class war, drug war, race war, flame war, storage war, cold war
Ah yes, the six genders
Lol, which is Alucard?
@@faerie5926 all of the above
@@dasdoctorlp and none of the above.
He is Alucard. And no one knows his sexual preferences
vore
25:40 "Contain, the calamity, that is your mammaries” 😆 gets me every time. Best way to rephrase “calm your tits”
Other options include hakuna your tatas
Adjust your bust, before it combusts.
Or don't have a rack attack
Lmao I actually used to use this line on my redheaded fiance.
XD
"And I'm pretty sure I was a girl."
"Wait but that impies the queen is...."
OH HOW THIS JOKE WENT OVER MY HEAD.
Wait is it really just the whole lesbian thing
@@oblivioussd6979 I believe so ges
Holy shit, I just got it.
@@allmyself666 I admit my first thought was that he was implying that the Queen was out hunting Nazi's during WW2. It was only the later repeats of the line that made me realize he was apparently a woman back then (never watched the actual series).
yeah alucard in WW2 was a girl there is like a whole manga dedicated whit that , him and a teenage walter where partners
Vlad the impaler (dracula) is the distant uncle of queen Elizabeth. Just throwing that out there
incest is wincest
incest and nobility go together like bitches and cannons
"So that would imply that the queen-"
@Joseph B. all European nobles are related, but vlad's brother is one of Elizabeth's ancestors
@Joseph B. vlad's. Brother. That is the answer.
"UND CERTAINLY, NO COLD WARS! Blueballed for fourty years."
LOL
What the fuck is that supposed to mean
@@siftknife761 I’m guessing it’s just a play on word since when you’re cold you ended up with blue balls which also meant pent up sexual urges. While the Cold War is purely intelligence war as opposed to an actual war where there are armies involved
@@siftknife761 The Cold War (a period of geopolitical tension between the Soviet Union and the United States and their respective allies, the Eastern Bloc and the Western Bloc) was often thought to be the catalyst to the beginning WWIII. Of course this was never the case. The Major is a self described "...pravayer of war" certainly would have eagerly excepted the two nations to bring about WWIII during the tension, only for that possibly to fail after the fall of Russian communism- The Soviet Union- in 1991.
@@optimisticscales7081 Purveyor, the word you're looking for is purveyor
@@siftknife761 He was turned on by war, the thought of war and participating in war.
Thus the cold war, left him longing for forty years.
‘Naw, naw, cuz it’s blimps’ gets me every time. Very underrated line
When?
19:04
My personal favorite from the entire series
"Is it on fire?"
"It could be more on fire."
XD
Wow
Preston Schuler my favorite line 😂😂
26:40
I mean, he isn't wrong. You could always make more fire.
Read it as it came in lol
"Is it on fire?" "It could be more on fire" This series' jokes are intoxicating
Funny thing is with three characters it can go from “it’s good” to “it’s very VERY not good”
Those three characters are “n’t”
@@lazyliongames6660 it's goodn't
YES
I think that might be the right answer anytime someone asks you that question. /s
It's hard making a perfect trilogy
Germany: allow us to introduce ourselves
Bulgaria denying it's war crimes for the third time be like "Oh, Yeah, I got this.".
]And, no, I am not joking. I fish I was.
just ...i would like to leave a like but ...there's 404 likes and it's just ....perfect.
420 likes, I am perfect
tja, dieser Kommentarbereich ist jetzt Eigentum der BRD
I would welcome this.
The use of Edward Starr's 'War' during the annihilation of London is BRILLIANT
😅is it everything you hoped for, Georgia?😅
Heh. Star wars
“Who wants Daddy’s belt?”
I will use that line at the beginning of every fight now...
*Angel of Death intensifies*
My D&D character uses that in his Intimidation and taunting in combat.
@@Chirpysemperboy N o i c e
300th thumbs up and after the fight "Now think about what you've done."
I imagine thats what Kratos thinks before every giant boss fight 😂😂
27:50 the fact that Pennwood was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and lived like a coward but then went out with a blaze of glory does my heart good
All it takes is one moment, to achieve greatness.
@@elijahhayter3026 the true measure of a man is not how he lives, but how he dies.
Doing ones duty means you dont get punished. He may have been a bumbling coward but he always did his job.
@@Ringabel-bu9gpThat hits me on so many levels
On peut raté sa vie, mais pas sa mort
-Le coroner
The saddest thing about turning 23 is that I can no longer have: "Wait, that's a woman?" and "She's 22?" go through my head whenever I give my age.
F in the chat for getting older.
@@blarghinatelazer9394 f it's beautiful tough life simply beautiful it's harsh and unfair but you can't deny it's beauty
@@blarghinatelazer9394 F
F
F
I love the touch of throwing in one of Anderson's jubilant "AAAAAMEN!"'s that he was so fond of in the original. I think they really captured the spirit of him there.
"This reminds me of when I kept your bed warm during the blitz."
"I was a chick in the 40s"
"Wait a second, that implies that the queen-"
"INTERRUPT ME AGAIN REGGIE!"
"SEE WHAT HAPPENS!"
He also has rows of teeth, like a shark, the queen is kinky
Soo the Queen was 15-19 years old in the 1940's?
@@solowingsjet ... She's older than Walter, and Walter was 15
Reggie turns traitor because alucard yelled at him *CONFIRMED*
"How did he get past the guards!?"
"Wait. Those were our guards? I mean, yes how did he get past?!"
That made me laugh like hell
🤣😂 that made me laugh so hard
”No wonder Alucard wants to plow that virgin soil”
*Hentai artists intensifies*
*search history intensifies*
No, they are literally a thing. In sub he even states
he jack off on her voice via phone.
@@abhabh6896 wait he says that? When?
@Kyle Haefele I saw it in sub, lol, I know tge difference. It was long time ago though, but I know I read it in the sub.
18:34
I think there is some level of thought for Anderson using bayonettes instead of knives. Knives are tools to be used for lots of things, a bayonet is specifically manufactured to kill.
Another theory is that he is the gun of god. And a gun has bayonets.
You can do everything with bayonets except sit on them. So it makes sense
@@St33lStrife people don’t put bayonets on their guns when they go hunting (for example) because the thing you are hunting and trying to eat will be dead before if could get to you and more importantly the one round is really all you need if you are skilled but at the end of the day you are there for a purpose and this is to EAT. On the other hand, if you put a bayonet on your gun, its probably because in the event you run out of ammo you need to still be able to KILL. Bayonet serve a specific purpose and will rarely, if ever, be seen on civilian weaponry.
@@DaltCity Bayonets have been obsolete since the end World war 2. Bigger magazine capacities as well as semi/fully automatic for standard issue weapons means bayonets are effectively useless outside of use as a general tool for soldiers, though there do exists a handful of modern examples of people stabbing someone in war.
@@yddet4369 well yes obviously it’s obsolete now lol. Nobody charges front lines anymore when the front line have enough ammo to kill 1000+ men with little to no downtime between fire. I’m talking about the original purpose of the bayonet. Now they are just a tool like any other knife due to the power creep of war.
Alucard: “Goodbye, you old hag. I would have still wrecked you like Diana.”
He still could.
But jokes aside, rest in peace old hag.
dammit man I didn't want to be sad today.
Penwood: IIIIII CAN NEVER HAVE SEX AGAN
Sugar lips will always have a special place in my heart
Lizzie is in a box!
"When you get to hell tell'em Penwood sent you. And then apologize on my behalf for the inconvenience."
A brit to the end.
A trully badass line
More like canadian
Those are the best last words I've seen in fiction ever, murdered them by words and then by explosion.
@@icicle_ai Well... That kinda makes it britain again. Colonies and stuff...
@@jackkaiser1471 and also french.
Pretty sure penwood”s final words were probably the most British final words I’ve ever heard
Also fitting for Canadians
@@mrbigstuphvt Unfortunately.... as a Canadian, I would need to agree with that assessment
@@newtonianlaw3249 that just proves canadians are geographically disadvantaged brits :P
@@jarvawolf4369 Remind me again who has the larger country... Because it sure as hell ain't the British. But forgive us for being polite while addressing omniscient beings
I also think people need to realize how devastating a roast his last words were as well. He called the Nazi vampires an inconvenience for Hell.
26:46 Integra being casually grossed out and going “ew.. ew!” is one of my favourite little gags in this series
"Contain the calamity that is your mammaries" - Overweight Vampire Hitler
Correction, Overweight Cyborg Hitler.
@@bonniefazman9065 Ok but WHY IS HE A CYBORG?!
@@kyuketsukirook Oh, you're still curious about that. Well, it all started with--
*is interrupted by a large explosion, disappearing*
HE'S STILL SO F******** FAT
@@julienteychene6022 "He's like a Nazi Louis C.K.!"
I just realized that when Integra tells Alucard that he was right about the nazis, she’s actually blushing slightly.
She knows Alucard very well. She knows exactly what's up
She was blushing even more in the original when she said "DONT SPEAK TO ME MONSTER"
@@sirbuttsavage7386 do you know me? Btw
@@sirbuttsavage7386 Because he's a chad.
@@serasvictoria9666 name of the game
“Where you see one man I C4” is priceless and kills me every time 😂
Kills Sir. Penwood too.
So does the C4.
Bruh thts such a big brain phrase and thing he did😂😂🔥🔥🔥☠☠☠
Sir Penwood is a true badass, he knew he was gonna die but he was gonna take as many of those fuckers with him.
I got that now and I want to die
The delivery of "I can never have sex again!" And "Nah nah it's blimps" are perfect
“DO YOU EVEN READ MY CHRISTMAS LIST!?” Lol
The ferocity and petulance he yelled that with, lol!
For fucks Integra, you know, to keep your pet happy, you need to not hold your bag so thight!
Earlier this year my husband and I saw an SR-71 on display. You better believe this quote was shouted.
@@yourrapunzel he better get you that!
"Kill all the fun, put all the fun in camps why don't you?" Damn, that lines good!
Yeah you fun nazi
*Get to the fucking point!*
Alucard shooting the neko just for hitting on Seras is like the best dysfunctional dad ever. xDD
Luna Haleraven “Was That Boy Girl Bothering You”
Did I just accidentally a war?
True tho and I'm living for it
@WHY YOU ARE AN IDIOT shipping up to boston-dropkick Murphy
agreed
"Jesus FUCKING CHRIST, I'VE MISSED YOU!!"
"Hey!"
"Oh shut up."
I died at this part, hahaha
The reason the queen calls Alucard Allie is because he was a girl. While he was a girl and getting jiggy with the queen, his name was Allie...
Jiggy😏
Alliecard
Wait a second then does that imply the queen is-
@@arbetor12 interrupt my story again reggie, SEE WHAT HAPPENS!
@@paintrain5479 ...
"Oh, haven't you heard the new sensation sweeping the nation?"
"BITCHES LOVE CANNONS!!"
Best quote ever.
"Ey mate, what's the last thing you ever thought you'd see in the night sky?"
"Oh, thas- thas a deep question man, I-"
"Nah, nah, cause it's blimps."
Actually, the last thing they did see.
Gentlemen.... WE HAVE MADE IT
Alright! Achtung! Achtung!
WOOHOO!
Hans, hans, bring it down a notch!
"I'd still wreck you like diana." I was eating and damn near almost choked from laughter
I nearly spit my drink out on my computer
Me: “alucard what is your sexual preference?”
Alucard: “ YES”
Alucard’s sexual preference: violence
I don't think he would have any issues with ''NO'' either
Yaoi shippers: *Kirby theme intensifies*
Sarah Mendez tbh I think Kirby is more of an inanimate object of destruction and terror.
@@francisleary678 I'd say pansexual with a fetish for violence describes him best.
When you get to hell, tell them Penwood sent you! ... and apologize on my behalf for the inconvenience.
Brilliant
A true gentleman
Salt Efan spoken like a true Brit
Anyone who says LittleKuriboh isn't a good VA is a goddamn fool
And that is how Penwood became my favorite character
Away! *Shadow Clones disappear*
"How did he get in here?!"
"We had over a dozen guards.."
"Those were ours? I mean uh- Oh my god how did he get through the guards?!"
Dead
Infinity just like the guards
The return of the Y boner...
WITH A VENGEANCE
Infinity I am everywhere and nowhere
Yeesssssssssssssss
My boner both is dead yet alive, everywhere yet nowhere.
"is it on fire?"
"It can be MORE on fire"
Loving thf positive work attitude
The shots of Alucard kicking the door open to Meridith Brooks' "Bitch" will never not kill me. Repurposing everyone's reaction to Alucard for the song worked so well. Maxwell's disgusted awe is perfect for it.
OK, turn it off, it did not work. It did not work.
‘Disgusted awe’
That’s actually a great way to describe Maxwell’s entire feelings about the Hellsing Organisation. He hates them, truly, but he is in awe of their tenacity, considering how young their leader and organisation are and how small their forces are. Hellsing only had about 100 people max in their workforce prior to the Valentine attack, compared to the thousands of Iscariot Agents, and have only been around for about 100 years compared to the almost 600 year history of Section XIII
@@protalghulnist4126 true but Alucard only unleashed his sea of familiars once, and prior to that nobody except Integra and Walter even knew about the true scope of Alucard’s powers.
Hell, Maxwell only clicked that Alucard was Vlad Tepes *after* he’d released the final restraint
I feel like if I were an immortal vampire with no consequences to my actions, I'd be exactly like Alucard.
Feel like that's the point. He's what a person becomes with limitless power and immortality
Same
Faaaaaacts
Remember the immortality is just the side effect, the 10 years of rape was the main kicker
@@vincentmarcellino7183 and access to the internet
"Walter, there's something you need to know."
"This is no time for 'goodbye's', madam."
"No, I- I don't know how to drive. You have *literally* driven me everywhere since I was ten."
Love that line
"is it on fire?"
"it could be more on fire"
Normal Guy my mixtape
Everything could be more on fire
You know Anderson is well written when even in the Abridged series his entrance is badass.
Derek Kolstad better damn well do Alexander Anderson justice or pencils will be used unexpectedly.
@Bland The creator of John Wick is doing a live action film of Hellsing.
@Bland with John wick he knows the mood but there is a lot to consider. Gotta stay true to the characters. TFS knows that.
@@samsonguy10k Wait, really?!
@@MB-lz5eb That's the buzz.
I think we can all agree on who the real enemies are here: AC/DC
Damn AC/DC.....
Is THis a JojO RefERenCe???
IMA buy some Kars
Send alucard. I'm sure he'll take care of them
I hate electricity to
"Who wants daddys belt"
Badass line lmao
Underrated too,
I know this is supposed to be a parody but there are moments where it's genuinely better than the original. Case in point: Penwood's speech
"You see one man, I C4"
Agree TFS does alot of thing better than the originals
I'd like to add that the major's "I love war" speech was a hell lot more comprehensible here than in the original
Anderson: "And why are the necessary evil?"
Escariots: "Because noone else will...."
Anderson: "AND BECAUSE ITS F***ING FUN!!!"
truly captured the insanity of Father Anderson and Alucard. Way Better than the original
@@brendanfau195 they are murder soulmates
This is all uncomfortably accurate to the original show
And?
... Define "uncomfortably".
@@bonniefazman9065 As in the errection it gives me is incredibly uncomfortable when trying to binge watch it.
@@D.J.Paige71 Did you look at schrodinger for too long?
@@Ardorstorm I'm looking at Integra.
Tumblr: “Rainbow, tacos, Doctor Who, Homestuck!”
Literally everyone else: “This person looks like they’re begging for attention.”
Pretty much. Except replace tacos with "these to friends/allies of the same gender are clearly gay for eachother, we stan!".
@@Nosretep nah replace tacos with potatoes
@@Idk-ct5ky yaoi just look drarry and you'll find out what they mean
@@Nosretep Because clearly someone who's gay taking joy in the idea that a pair of characters they like might be gay too is just the most abhorrent thing that anyone could ever do, right?
@@kiraina25 Nope. Most of the time it's just astraight girl's fetish. They do the same think with real people like Markiplier x Jack. It's been know to ruin real life friendships apparently.
14:19
This scene aged SO WELL!
I cust realized that is the clown music behind her
What is her name again
@@Rodinbuff blood und semen
@@Rodinbuff something vanwinkle
@@Rodinbuff Rip Van Winkle
"Whoops, did I just accidentally a war?"
Alicard would maybe make this joke at 24:00 its falling down im yelling timber
I thought he said AWOL
THE BOSSES that would ruin the show
It wasn't his first time accidentally a war
Was that girl-boy thing bothering you?
“Blueballed for 40 years” is such an underrated line
But I also love how this version makes Sir Penwood the badass he deserves to be.
"Pop, pop, watchin' heathens drop" is one of the best one-liners I've ever heard.
Eh 6/10 for delivery
Yeah I love that line
@@SnailSnail-lo4pm Guy's still learning, father Alexander is way more experienced in rhymes.
"Your death has been sponsored by the Iscariot organization" is definitely up there
Got rick rolled by team four star 6 years later
32:23 "Ah just need an Italian one and I've got me an Axis o Righteousness!" Maxwell is Italian, he had the full set and didn't even know it
“Yumi! Say something in moon speak!”
Maxwell is a coward, he doesn't count
@@cjdziesiuta1995 That just makes him count more. It is Italy after all.
@@viberadio3886 “hai”
@@doloresmeatrestauranteater1451 goddamn bro
"How did he get in here?""We had over a dozen guards.""Oh, those were ours?"
"I mean how did he get through the guards? Tsk tsk."
😂😂😂😂😂
@@rakwonwilliams5899 shame on you for using emojis
@@sebastiangomez3330 To be fair words can not explain how funny it was to me and emojis was the closest thing I had
Every FPS ever.
*"Poorly contained Nazi rage"* is the best closed caption I've seen in a while.
After reading comments like this I feel like now I have to go back and watch the series with captions on.
@@mavrickhunt9218 same
25:44 with the captions on lol
@@mavrickhunt9218it is so much better with the captions just use the english candian ones
The queen a freak for-real😭
No really tho😭
she died making it clap on instagram
“Well if it lasts for more than four hours”
God the QUOTES in this series
The Canadian subtitles make the quote even better. The Canadian subtitles at in a editors note that says "...shoot it off and grow a new one"
what got me was that victoria actually CONSIDERING what their kids would look like
The Strangest thing is the relative lack of hentai of them.
And That is some thing I thought I would never say when it comes to the Internet and depicting characters fornicating.
@@allthenewsordeath5772 all these characters come straight from hentai anyway. Anderson for example comes from a hentai called angel's dust.
@@akumasstorytime3910 "Father Anderson?"- Heinkel
@@akumasstorytime3910 WHAT
@@starbreaker6740 you fucking heard me.
Nazi Vampire Officer:"The Holocoust Museum?"
The Major:"Leave that be! No one will deny what we did."
This show is never gonna get old.
"Oh, I see, so this is a CRUSADE!!!"
"No, nonononono, we don't say that anymore. We're calling it....damn, what do the Americans say?"
"Peacekeeping?"
"Right! Now, shall we keep the peace."
Maxwell is such a monster in every version, but I love the lines he gets in Abridged.
32:26 It's funny because when Alexander asks Yumiko to speak in Japanese, she literally responds with "Hai", which more or less translates to "alright, sure".
Oh I thought she was iust saying _"hi"_ and it just happened to sound like Japanese
Say something in Moonspeak
Mmm no. Hai is japanese for Yes
@@jessefisher2870 to my understanding, Japanese words mostly function off of the meaning itself, so "Hai" could be any number of ways to simply say "yes". Meaning "sure" is technically correct; the best kind of correct.
@@jessefisher2870 …I mean it’s the same thing, no?
"Contain the calamity that is your mammaries"
🤣
Hakuna your tatas
*poorly contained nazi rage
"is it on fire"
"It could be more on fire"
I die laughing whenever I watch this series
The real unappreciated line of these episodes.
I didnt get it
@@fafyasif4281 it is ironic.
I half expected the major to say "Correct answer" in response.
I find it hilarious that after watching this abridged version I can’t actually watch the original Hellsing Ultimate anymore, I keep expecting the hilarious lines. TFS killed it with this abridged anime
"We will make beautiful children..."
*shoots the cat person thing*
"Was that boy-girl bothering you?"
A literal shoot first, ask question later scenario.... Beautiful.
Huh, they would look rather nice, actually.
John Gleason "The return of the Y boner. With a vengeance."
"Oops, did I accidentally a war?"
Andrew Edwards that’s, actually genius.
@@andrewedwards5881 h o l y s h i t
"I'd still wreck you like Diana." 🤣
That line nearly made me pass out.
SHAWNSUCKStm, Diana died in a car crash.
I didn't get that when I heard it a few years ago
I don't know which part of that joke was better; the line itself, or the fact the Queen got off on it.
@@shawnsuckstm3353, She was part of the British Royal family.
“Ah, the return of The Why Boner, with a vengeance.”
"Y" boner ... as in the Chromosome...
@@Darkshine42 Naw, why boner as in a confusing boner that you have to ask why you have it.
Return of the Furries. Everyone hates furries
@@El-Gato69 I like that better!
@@El-Gato69 i think it was meant to be both
I only just now noticed that Rip V.W. was blushing furiously as Alucard choked her against the wall.
...Daddy.
What the fuuuuuck
No
@@robertmurphree4011 yes
in the manga she’s moaning watching alucard lick her blood on the floor
@@starflurries Hellsing is really some loser's hentai power fantasy, eh?
“Zat’s a woman?!”
“She’s 22?!”
I had the same reaction the first time too guys 😅 never knew that we’re the same age
Hate to say your not alone 😅
The 22 part got me. I just went, "Wait, you're 22?!"
@@PGGreatOak she has gravitas beyond her years
Who
@@thepugking9630 integra
"Take your trigger-happy harlot with ya. And the woman!"
"Ton quoi?"
What does that mean
"Uh... What?"
@@cunningsmile4166 oh ok
Man I don't know what I funnier, the Catholic Church strong arming you into helping us, or the fact that you obviously haven't seen what I did to the statue of Big J.
@@cunningsmile4166 - That's not what Pip says. He says "Ton quoi?" aka "Your what?" (masculine form) , asking Alexander to repeat what he said.
"Uh what?" would have been "de quoi?".
"Who are we?!“
"The necessary evil!”
“Why are we necessary?”
“To purge the world of evil worse than man!”
“And why are we, God’s chosen few, ordained to undertake this unholy task?”
“Because no one else will!”
“AND BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING FUN! AHAHA-MEN!"
That’s not just a fantastic line. I can easily see that inspiring something truly badass in the future. I’m definitely gonna try and find a way to incorporate some of that into one of my stories in the future.
... I would follow that man into battle!!!!
Boondock. Saints.
So I’ve been trying to find the song that goes with this speech, a few weeks back my brother was playing it in his car on our way to our folks but I’ve forgotten what it is
@@brisingr2313 shipping up to boston by the dropkick murphy
HOLY FUCKING SHIT! ANDERSON'S SPEECH AND HAVE SHIPPING UP TO BOSTON IN THE BACKGROUND?! FUCKING AWESOME!
"But can't he fly with his vampire powers?"
"Wh- what- no, he can't fly with his vampire powers!"
"Then how did he get there?!"
"On the Blackbird we appropriated-"
"YOU *STOLE* THE BLACKBIRD!?"
My favorite quote from this series.
"Judas priest..."
"You mean like the band?"
"THEY WERE NAMED AFTER HIM"
That kills me everytime
"No wonder Alucard wants to plow that virgin soil. I'm thinking about growing some flowers myself!"
😂🤣 Dude this is absolute gold
So that's the other part he said there, I never caught his second line, lol!
I always thought he said "Slappers" and figured he was saying he wanted to grow his nuts back so he could bust one for her. I don't know why I thought he was a eunuch.
it is so so gross, but also genius
Me too Anderson. Me too.
What was the music playing then?
the entire “London bridge is falling down !” Bit is so funny to me JESUS 😭
Many years ago, I was at a historical enactment after party. There was a pirate ship. With a cannon. In which shots were poured. Upon a successful shot, everyone shouted, "Bitches love cannons!"
This was all due to this show. It was excellent.
this sounds like the best party ever
The Holocaust museum joke, I just absolutely love that delivery.
Hitler wanted his own Holocaust museum
@@Bluesonofman its so he could sleep soundly
Imagine if we just saw Hitler in the show
@@alucardrd9747 These are Neo-N*zis, as confirmed by the manga. 50 years or so after world war 2.
"We would make beautiful children"
BOOM HEADSHOT
Tbf, he deserved it
He wasn't wrong though o.o
I swear I always heard him say
"Be with me beautiful children".
She admits he's correct.
Schrodinger is what Seras would be if she were a Nazi. And a werekin. And male.
@@joseph86255 and non-existent as well
3:03 perhaps THE FUNNIEST moment in this show’s history.