10 Signs A Girl Is NOT Into You

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.พ. 2025

ความคิดเห็น • 495

  • @AlexisLilian
    @AlexisLilian  5 ปีที่แล้ว +281

    Hey everyone! This one may be a bit of a downer for some people but it doesn’t need to be! We’ve all been there, when someone just doesn’t like you back, but it’s important to accept it so you can move on and invest your energy on other things/other people. We’re thinking of doing another video on how to get over someone - let us know if you have any other requests!

    • @ritchellucky1337
      @ritchellucky1337 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank u I appreciate that it has help

    • @joyhonrado8855
      @joyhonrado8855 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes!!!! Thank you for this video Alexis & Lilian. These are all on point and a lot if it I think are being taken for granted. You are correct in always injecting the possibility that there is such a thing as “mind games” but as true as it is, once someone says it outright, all ambiguity comes crashing down and it needs to be taken as it is.. this is a really really good reminder. And yes, please do the video on how to get over someone.. I know Ill be on the lookout for that (and I do have the “bell” turned on) having have just come from a recently ended 10yr relationship and could really use your tips and advice as I am still in that grieving/healing period. Thank you both in advance! I am very new to your channel but your videos have been a daily theraputic habit! Enjoy the weekend, both! See you in your next video.. please dont make us wait too long for it! 😊💞 Tschüss😘

    • @nillou
      @nillou 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeah please do a vidoe about getting over someone! I really could use some advice

    • @ritchellucky1337
      @ritchellucky1337 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Please do a video about how to get over broken and a cheating relationship on u.cos of that am so much afraid of believing that there is still some love.

    • @nillou
      @nillou 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      It would be nice if you make a video about or just include getting over someone you never even got serius with

  • @totoroghibli3419
    @totoroghibli3419 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1206

    I recently had a crush on a girl and talked with her when I would have a chance to see her. I thought she liked me too! But, then after a while she asked me what my name was again! Ouchhhh

    • @AlexisLilian
      @AlexisLilian  5 ปีที่แล้ว +185

      Ugh.. yeah, not cool.
      Nobody got time for dat'

    • @linnaewillis619
      @linnaewillis619 5 ปีที่แล้ว +51

      That's messed up.

    • @haizekhaze8868
      @haizekhaze8868 5 ปีที่แล้ว +60

      Girls are the best players

    • @fufi2238
      @fufi2238 5 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      man that happeneed to me too like we were out and we had been known each other for a month i guess and she was like "whats your last name anyway?" but then we started to date and she was the one who kept chasing me

    • @Itzhotli
      @Itzhotli 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      aaaaah I feel bad because I do have a goldfish brain and forget things easily, mostly names and dates as well as street names! So I've done that multiple times and even more with important days like birthdays. I sometimes cant process my own. Though, I've been trying to improve my memory with those things with a planner and repeating things a bunch! Thus far, it is a bit better

  • @juliedew6669
    @juliedew6669 5 ปีที่แล้ว +405

    I had a girl tell me she wasn't into me like that because she is straight, and then she asked me on a platonic Taco Bell date. We have been good friends since.

    • @AlexisLilian
      @AlexisLilian  5 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      aw that’s amazing how it turned from something that may have seen negative at first to something so great!

    • @ESA-Naomi
      @ESA-Naomi 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Ugh, straight girlfriend...nah

    • @venusschild
      @venusschild 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      felt

    • @Jess-uo2xn
      @Jess-uo2xn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @Army TaeKooker u can ask to just be friends and not lead her on

    • @jaycreek1
      @jaycreek1 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      lol almost all my relationships started like this … adamant they are straight but always ended up with me … one lasted 13 years

  • @fjordsi7404
    @fjordsi7404 5 ปีที่แล้ว +403

    This makes me wonder why someone can't just say I'm not feeling this?Be mature and don't waste other people's time

    • @Thereal2727-c2y
      @Thereal2727-c2y 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      MaeB fr 💯

    • @alinak5174
      @alinak5174 4 ปีที่แล้ว +37

      Because they don't want to make you uncomfortable or/and hurt your feelings

    • @liv7530
      @liv7530 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      they usually dont know for sUre that u like them so they dont want to look like an idot

    • @ivoryneshiawoodruff3318
      @ivoryneshiawoodruff3318 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Anxiety maybe

    • @futureamnesia9672
      @futureamnesia9672 4 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      It was a cultural shock for me because before it wasn't in case of boys, there was yes or no and there was that. But women are concerned about not hurting anyone by their words and choose to ignore you which(unpopular opinion) is even more hurtful.

  • @esp_09
    @esp_09 5 ปีที่แล้ว +621

    painful but needed

  • @deed1993
    @deed1993 5 ปีที่แล้ว +493

    Well i was into a straight girl and caught fellings, then I tell her how I felts, said she was straight and not interested, then changed her mind and told me she had a crush on me also and didn’t know how to handle it. Ended up in a beautiful two year relationship 😊

    • @ddalgi-hime-07
      @ddalgi-hime-07 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      @Army TaeKooker You need to break up with her if you don’t like her in a romantic and/or sexual way. It’s fucked up to lead someone on.

    • @just_passing_by_love2098
      @just_passing_by_love2098 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      U r lucky

    • @jescamukani2667
      @jescamukani2667 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Y two years

    • @brielleberry3459
      @brielleberry3459 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      I’m in love with a straight girl aka my best friend and idk I think she might be in the closet and like me but I’m not sure

    • @alettafevy
      @alettafevy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      So happy for you! I experienced the first part of your story too, but then she said I misunderstood her signals. But still, I felt as if she totally played with my feelings.

  • @aniliname
    @aniliname 4 ปีที่แล้ว +209

    Most of these are more "she's not worth it" than "she's not into you". There are just some rude people who might like you but who are selfish and toxic and don't know how to share their time and energy fairly.

    • @StreetcarDesire
      @StreetcarDesire 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      This

    • @potatozinc
      @potatozinc 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      I needed to hear this. I was half-ghosted, but see half interest…probably just not worth it if the other person just isn’t as into me.

  • @trashmouth.7864
    @trashmouth.7864 3 ปีที่แล้ว +107

    it’s so hard to understand anything when the person im dealing with naturally has a flirty personality & acts the same with almost everyone💀

    • @mariahblakey_
      @mariahblakey_ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Omg tell me about it I’m in the same situation 😫😫🤣🤣🤣

    • @sydneynovak8212
      @sydneynovak8212 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'm in the same situation 💀(I like a girl who is estp)

  • @nywelcheaye661
    @nywelcheaye661 5 ปีที่แล้ว +262

    In a situation where I thought I was straight but then met a girl (she's gay) who made me question everything. Realized that I liked her, thought that the two of us had great chemistry but then she told me that she doesn't see me in that way. Part of me wants to respect that and believe her, but another part of me feels like she sees something between us but doesn't want to say it because of the fact that I'm "straight". Not to mention that straight girls have hurt her in the past.

    • @prosperenfantinylosgeograf2721
      @prosperenfantinylosgeograf2721 5 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      it's quite possible lol. it kinda happened to me, but it was also complicated because i personally (and i'm not the only one) make a very clear separation between female friends and "something else" because i really don't want to mess up or disrepect my female friends. and when i "declare" a girl a female friend in my mind it's really hard to change that. but it's possible. many friends have gone throught that, queer or straight. you'll just have to figure it out.

    • @croppedhair_31
      @croppedhair_31 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      DAMN. I'M RIGHT NOW IN THAT EXACT SITUATION.

    • @wanderer2435
      @wanderer2435 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Oh but then since ur liked her...didn't u bend ?

  • @janinebohl7488
    @janinebohl7488 4 ปีที่แล้ว +96

    i find that when someone leads me on making me believe we are developing a close friendship, and then suddenly they are gone, that hurts just as much. it hits even harder than with a crush sometimes

    • @shockingheaven
      @shockingheaven 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yes! I totally get it. Losing a potential friend -or an actual friend- hurts me way more than losing someone I have a crush on

    • @aliciasilva4431
      @aliciasilva4431 ปีที่แล้ว

      sameeeeee

  • @libiaramirez8864
    @libiaramirez8864 5 ปีที่แล้ว +235

    I liked this german girl that i met and always asked her a lot of questions i was so interested in her life, but then i realize that everytime we talk seemed like an interview, she didnt ask me shit :(

    • @liarunaway
      @liarunaway 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Libia Ramirez so sorry for you. By the way I‘m a german girl too 🙋🏻‍♀️

    • @libiaramirez8864
      @libiaramirez8864 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@liarunaway nice to meet you Lia :)

    • @liarunaway
      @liarunaway 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Libia Ramirez hehe thanks. Ditto

    • @zoez6761
      @zoez6761 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I know a German girl who is like the contrary of this…She asked me lots of personal questions and it almost feels like an interview because she didn't share much? She probably thinks I'm not interested idk…

    • @libiaramirez8864
      @libiaramirez8864 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@zoez6761 that is so funny , many Ways an interview can be taken

  • @oliviaprice2453
    @oliviaprice2453 4 ปีที่แล้ว +214

    Definitely just came here to break my own heart and humble myself into thinking realistically after watching all your tips and hints about being with her :D

  • @ESA-Naomi
    @ESA-Naomi 5 ปีที่แล้ว +118

    Scrolling the comments and at least y’all have someone to crush on.

    • @abbylievanos
      @abbylievanos 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      i don't know what's worst, ha, have someone to crush on but realising that is not into you ir not having anyone

    • @karinr8460
      @karinr8460 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Honestly I didn't have a crush on anyone for more than four years but I think I do now (don't know though since it's been such a long time 😭🤡) but she came when I least expected it so don't you worry, there's someone out there for you!

  • @lukeyher4313
    @lukeyher4313 5 ปีที่แล้ว +248

    The left girl looks so much like shawn Mendes im shook

  • @emnem2614
    @emnem2614 4 ปีที่แล้ว +163

    I love the color of the wall in the background

  • @livWilson97
    @livWilson97 5 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    I needed this but it’s so hard - I’ve been in love with this girl for 6 years. I managed to not think about her for ages, but now it’s almost constant. I’ve had crushes on other girls and even dreamed about kissing some, but when I think about a relationship, I want to be with her, but we aren’t friends anymore. Please make a video about how to get other someone!

    • @prosperenfantinylosgeograf2721
      @prosperenfantinylosgeograf2721 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      there's a ted talk called how to fix a broken heart by guy winch and honestly it's the best on that subject that i have ever seen. really. go see it.

    • @passionateperlz
      @passionateperlz 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Yeah you should definitely make a video on how to get over someone, straight girl crushes suck!💔

    • @livWilson97
      @livWilson97 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Perlafut10 they really do! Here if you ever wanna talk 💜

    • @livWilson97
      @livWilson97 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Perlafut10 there’s also this ted talk:
      th-cam.com/video/k0GQSJrpVhM/w-d-xo.html

    • @AlexisLilian
      @AlexisLilian  5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      how to get over someone will be posted tomorrow 💪🏻

  • @parkbae2572
    @parkbae2572 5 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    i felt so called out when you said that only 15% of us have your notifications on i immediately clicked the bell lmao

    • @AlexisLilian
      @AlexisLilian  5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      hahaha aww thank you! ♥️

  • @doritsia
    @doritsia 5 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    😢I feel so stupid. I recognize all of them! You really perfectly describe the person I love. Unfortunately. Aaaarrrgggh. And still love her of course.

  • @anhthule4167
    @anhthule4167 5 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    OMG. She got all signs mentioned above, but I still confessed my feelings to her. You know the result- She said we should be friends. But I didn't regret what I did because I least I was able to release my pent-up emotions. Now, I find it quite difficult to move on, but the only way to move on is to move on. I hope I can find another girl soon ^^

    • @libratran7396
      @libratran7396 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm Vietnamese...so....can i make friend with u?

    • @anhthule4167
      @anhthule4167 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@libratran7396 I tried to reply to you for 2 times, but my comments are not visible. We can be friends. My contact info is in the tab "ABOUT" on my channel. ^^ Nice to meet you ^^

    • @libratran7396
      @libratran7396 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@anhthule4167 nice to meet you too 😊

  • @lilia7627
    @lilia7627 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    it’s so hard to try and realise when people are just being kind or whether she likes me. it’s so hard😂

  • @maureenberra16
    @maureenberra16 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    spot on! i came out when i was 32 and i would have liked to have had a lovely couple to ask questions about lesbian life. I am 65 now and met the love of my life in 2015. We were married in 2018 and we are going strong. She was a widow and had meet her wife in college. They were together for 45 years until her wife passed away from breast cancer. She dated a few people which I am so grateful for. Then she met me. My family and i are crazy about her. i care very much for her family and they care for me. We have friends that support us on both sides. It is never too late for the real deal.

    • @etcwhatever
      @etcwhatever หลายเดือนก่อน

      I am 35 and I am jaded beyond belief. Probably will end up alone. I can't even imagine how damaged I will be in 30 years. You had the reverse process which is definitively better.

  • @mgraced
    @mgraced 4 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    I feel like at this point I'll die alone :(

  • @oliviatucker1619
    @oliviatucker1619 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    so applicable, you guys are so amazing. i’ve never watched such a secure, knowledgeable, and helpful couple. this one hit home for sure and you guys helped me so much. love you guys so much💖

    • @AlexisLilian
      @AlexisLilian  5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      thanks so much for the kind words! 💕

  • @iremsezen812
    @iremsezen812 5 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    I would love to see more videos about this! Like about how to get over someone etc.

  • @mdndjdjubsjjd5841
    @mdndjdjubsjjd5841 5 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    Ahh now i know that my teacher is not into me🤣🤣

    • @AlexisLilian
      @AlexisLilian  5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Ouu teacher crushes! We’ve been there too 😄

    • @anhthule4167
      @anhthule4167 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Haha I had a crush on my student. But she said we should be friends T.T

    • @kikiyoung2999
      @kikiyoung2999 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      been there

    • @just_passing_by_love2098
      @just_passing_by_love2098 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Me too

  • @havenhark6016
    @havenhark6016 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    watching this to bring myself to reality 😵‍💫

  • @mostcreativenickname
    @mostcreativenickname 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    When I clicked on this video I expected some hurtful truth and facts which tell me, that my crush doesn’t love me. But instead this video just left me more confused. Couldn’t respond to any of these facts with a clear no or yes.
    I always get mixed feelings of my crush.
    There are days she puts real effort into listening to me, keeping conversations, paying attention to me, making me talk, making up one-on-one dates, laughing about my worst jokes and stuff.
    And there are days I feel like she finds everything more interesting than me and only wants to do stuff in a group.
    There are days she remembers every little thing about me and there are days she just fcking forgets to wait for me. She never texts me first and she’s a freaking inactive texter. But then she sends me those voice-messages where she’s laughing about funny things I wrote. Our hugs last longer from day to day. But she never has time to pick up the phone when I call her.
    I know she’s pan.
    I just don’t fucking know.

    • @lotteh52
      @lotteh52 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Something 123 are we crushing on the same girl? 😂
      I mean I don’t think so but some of those things you said - man they are nearly the same ...

    • @alluringasmr4068
      @alluringasmr4068 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Maybe she's doing a push-pull thing... does she get more into you when you back away?

    • @mostcreativenickname
      @mostcreativenickname 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      SelfAwarenessX I’m not totally sure tbh because I’m rarely consistent enough to really distance myself from her. I feel like sometimes she’s more interested in me, when I’m absolutely not focused on her and sometimes she’s showing a lot of affection when I’m REALLY and only fixated on her. This makes it somehow hard for me to know what I should do.

    • @jamiephinn3356
      @jamiephinn3356 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Omg how is your situation now? Exactly same to you. People say mixed signals can be seen as a no. But it still feels something somehow. Even though my crush is not so affectionate and enthusiastic as your crush lol.

    • @mostcreativenickname
      @mostcreativenickname 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@jamiephinn3356 oh, believe me, you don’t wanna know the whole story😅 I confessed my feelings to them and they couldn’t handle it. We’ve tried rebuilding the friendship but her trust was broken & it turned superficial. I wanted to talk last month, because my overthinking and my insecurities concerning this just ate me. but she couldn’t handle it anymore/didn’t want to talk and blocked me and we’re no longer friends. “they need to protect themselves” okay. she completely goes out of my way and I’m trying hard to not let it hurt me/to still be friendly and polite towards her at any chance.
      I’ve had my first therapy session today.
      We probably won’t see each other ever again when school ends in july. It’s..well. hard.

  • @gehtdichnichtsan8926
    @gehtdichnichtsan8926 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This video kinda hurt but it was needed:P
    love u two so much

  • @scubagoldfish45
    @scubagoldfish45 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Awesome, lots more protips for those of us still sailing the murky waters of the dating apps! Much appreciated.

  • @anikabwooli
    @anikabwooli 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Thanks so much for this well done video. I am just experiencing a complicated situation like that with a woman. It can be really hard to understand the signals in the right way, to realize and move on. But I can relate to everything you said. Especially with you saying that its important and a good thing that you know it for sure if she doesnt like you. Its hard at first but then it helps you to move on properly.
    So thanks Lilian and Alexis for your videos on this topic. Its really exactly what I am preoccupied with at the moment. And your thoughts help me a lot understanding the situation.
    Love from Germany to Toronto 😊

  • @readingsbygenevieve8479
    @readingsbygenevieve8479 5 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    This video was good for and helpful. I wish I had this reference when I was interacting with someone who was clearly not into me, but I moved on. Lesbian dating can be rough.

  • @duvine3882
    @duvine3882 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Sad to hear the reasons for flirting a lot; as none matched my experiences. Some have high anxiety & flirting helps relaxing the brain from over rational thinking. Others show their true self without inhibitions in party environments. Some other's gain finally some new confidence after loosing weight, and or getting a make over & are trying to catch up for lost time being the social butterfly they could have never been before a change. Another's are coming out for the first time & even so they have the look like they belong & are trying to fit in etc... & many more!.

  • @camrennotreal7750
    @camrennotreal7750 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Me spending 2 years liking someone I never speak to
    Knowing that you need to talk to your crush to get them 🤯

  • @yinyangphoenix
    @yinyangphoenix 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    When she mentions liking other people... that's a damn sledgehammer, as hints go. Subtle as a brick. hahaha

  • @vrenafreymann6617
    @vrenafreymann6617 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Gotta compliment you here. Your vids are always fun and smart to the point. You just know what moves us😉 Important work. Keep it up♥️

    • @AlexisLilian
      @AlexisLilian  5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks so much! Happy to hear that 😊

  • @concerned3rdparty952
    @concerned3rdparty952 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I need advice: She is 70 years of age, and she is straight. I am 62 years of age and lesbian. She accepts my orientation. We have been spending a lot of time together. We are both looking for an apartment and she said we can look for a one bedroom if we need to because our lease is ending with our individual apartments. I said to her "where will I sleep?" She said we can share a bed.
    When she drives her car as I am talking with her, she twirls her hair a lot. I find myself automatically falling into a male role such as picking up the heavy things, opening door for her, paying for meals when we go out. I have told her I am not attracted to her she is not my type. Her response was "Oh gee thanks."
    She often asks me if I want to go grocery shopping with her, to the dog park with her, cafe around the corner with her, shopping, and apartment hunting together. I respect her. I enjoy her company and feel a draw towards her which I do not understand. Would someone like to give me some behavioral body language hints because I am not sure, but my gut feeling says she wants to take things slow, but she is interested.

    • @firewalker1121
      @firewalker1121 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Sounds like she’s into the attention, but not into you

    • @sophiepooks2174
      @sophiepooks2174 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      She needs/likes the company, but not interested in physical intimacy perhaps? Going through similar dilemma, I am also 62 and still youngish, I am spellbound by a woman I met 3 months ago, feel so free to be myself with her and feel crushed when I am not with her her, but I just don't think she is into me romantically and sometimes doesn't answer my text messages for a week later, so to be content with being just someone she occasionally thinks of you/wants to hang with, or move on is the question in my mind..it sucks sorry I couldn't help.

  • @cagincei
    @cagincei 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    the fact that my ex girlfriend was acting like this throughout the time we'd dated lmfaoo i wish i saw this video earlier.. now i know she was just pity dating me

  • @kay.smi2424
    @kay.smi2424 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    It’s hard when you can tell they at least are enthusiastic about wanting to be friends 😩

  • @orin2206
    @orin2206 5 ปีที่แล้ว +84

    "Lesbian problem: while trying to flirt with girl they thought that you're being nice to them or complementing them" 😫🤣
    I'm so in love with my crush but I don't know if she loves me or not I know she likes me but i can't even make eye contact with her properly cuz I get shy & my heart beating so fast but I don't have her phone number let alone texting 😫😫😭

    • @marteumar8429
      @marteumar8429 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ORIN Blink does she has any social media? could you ask them her @ or even number?

    • @orin2206
      @orin2206 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@redmug3 aghhh let's date then lol hence we have so much in common!!!lol😌btw it's completely ok to felt like that 🥰🖤

  • @create2liberate
    @create2liberate 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I know how I want to be loved. How I want to be treated. So if someone isn't giving me the attention that I LIKE, I don't even want to be with them. Chasing someone feels ICK!

    • @etcwhatever
      @etcwhatever หลายเดือนก่อน

      Same. It's demeaning. A blow to one's dignity and I refuse to ever chase again. A lot of feminine women are spoiled brats. I am fem but I'm down to earth and very open/direct.

  • @Kiran-vq7pd
    @Kiran-vq7pd 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    i love you guys, thanks for giving me hope for finding a truly good relationship and more than college hookups and first dates. i hope you keep making videos! :)

  • @yup6335
    @yup6335 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I make my crush hang out with me in a group cuz im too scared to be alone with her 😂

  • @robinhazen8034
    @robinhazen8034 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for mentioning the "bell". I never even noticed it before!

  • @kyliewren1927
    @kyliewren1927 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    When you are older I thought the development of a relationship might be different. And in someways it is, as you know yourself that bit more. Then along comes HOPE and wishful thinking. We have very little in common but travel, then even that has now become an obstacle of late. She says she loves me but there is no real intimacy other than games. I feel like I have found someone who wants to play the game of gay rather than being in a real relationship. She is a person wanting to be needed and then tries to gain control through guilt ‘You made a decision and spent your money without my consent.’. She is a controlling loving person and she is genuinely a warm person wanting to wanted. I am a person who will commit without being needed. I want a relationship with love and mutual respect. Then I am in 100%. I do not want to hurt this lonely wanting woman.

  • @evellewelyn3989
    @evellewelyn3989 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Yes! How about: how to reject someone who isn't picking up these signals? How / when to break up (sad, but needed for soooo many people)? You get the idea... the world needs sound advice LOL.

    • @AlexisLilian
      @AlexisLilian  5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      great ones, put them on the list, thanks!

  • @khumalo6619
    @khumalo6619 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I wish i saw this before i made a fool of myself💀

  • @bloxrrey
    @bloxrrey 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    with the group thing, i like someone but i always want to hang out with them in a group setting because i’m nervous about being with them

  • @chocolattefeverdreams4228
    @chocolattefeverdreams4228 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I really like this girl, and whenever we text it mostly goes on for well over an hour if neither of us has anything to get to. But both of us are extremely busy with exams and other issues. And we both flirt with each other as a joke for both of us. But i flirt with her more intensely lmao. It might be because she's like my closest friend.

  • @sophiepooks2174
    @sophiepooks2174 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am so bad at reading signals sometimes, met a wonderful woman at a old school rave reunion, she said hi and we instantly vibed so well (haven't touched molly for 25 years and don't need to) anyhow was like we had been BFF's forever already, been a long time since I have encountered someone from my planet/ my tribe I felt a genuine soul connection that is such a rare thing in my life today, so begins my self indulgent rant;
    She is a queer non binary female and I am trans fem but cis-passing. She is a similar age, the same build, same height as me, pretty, cute, emotionally intelligent, intuitive, funny, outgoing, mysterious, charismatic and driven, the few times we have met up again have always been uplifting and I have proudly stood by her side without a care in the world everywhere we have been. I am not afraid to show the world we are a tight pair when we are out together, it is obvious to any random we have each others backs and don't care who knows it.
    Even though conversation is always flirty, fun, we have even talked about some mutual hanky panky in a light hearted way, lots of mutual smiles/laughter and rarely a dull moment but she has never made any attempt to initiate touch in anyway, except for when we hug hello, or goodbye and casual goodbye kiss, calls me baby says I am welcome to come to her place anytime I want to hang out but won't give out her address, always meet somewhere public.
    She told me she is dealing with past/current abuse issues, so perhaps is why she feels she can't commit to anyone, or let someone relatively new into her private space. even though I wish she would open up to me about it, I respect her feelings and won't push.
    I am prepared to do anything to be part of her life in any capacity, everything must be mutual consent is how I have always rolled.
    I realize I have to step back and give her as much time as she wants/needs (as disappointing/crushing as it feels) just let her contact me if she wants, even if I only see her once every 2 years that would be sad but I feel so alive when with her.
    Maybe we are too alike, she is a Scorpio, I am Sag with Scorpio rising and have also been badly abused in relationships so have some anxiety issues, however I would do anything to make her laugh/happy, rob a bank, slay a monster for her but realize, right now I am not who she is attracted to, or what she wants most in her life and that is just my life and the universe doing it's thing but it still sucks 😿. Thanks to anyone who read this. ☔💟 x

  • @sarak6083
    @sarak6083 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    The moment i said to myself don't like anyone don't chase don't look and don't care they came after me, but at this point it felt better to have the upper hand finally and reject them after being rejected by the same ones before ..i make my own road now and in my terms. Win win

  • @elenawalsh5193
    @elenawalsh5193 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    letting go and moving on is so hard sometimes...

    • @victoriacherry2944
      @victoriacherry2944 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Really hard ... especially if u deeply love the bitch

  • @Creamsonbaby
    @Creamsonbaby ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Sometimes all these doesn't actually happen my side ___ reverse is always the case.
    I always find it difficult knowing when a girl is straight or gay.

  • @cozyfields1973
    @cozyfields1973 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I am just so confused. I’m Inlove with my bff, she’s pan sexual, and for the couple months of our friendship she was really clingy, and it was obvious she liked me, but now, she isn’t like that at all but she still touches me and gives off a flirty energy sometimes. Idk what to do, this girl has me going crazy and she’s the whole reason why I’ve been questioning my sexuality

  • @loritragerbee
    @loritragerbee 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Ok I need you to make a video about "breadcrumbing", I know you two would get it. Oh and btw, I love you, both of you. I am so grateful for you videos

    • @AccordingSign32
      @AccordingSign32 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      I’m definitely getting breadcrumbed lmao

  • @маринасмирнова-ф1э
    @маринасмирнова-ф1э 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I feel like every girl i ever liked doesnt love me back, even if shes not straight. it feels so terrible, i just dont know what is wrong with me

  • @Laffingrl
    @Laffingrl 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great video. I would also like to emphasize that is totally okay to ditch someone who has placed you in the friendzone! Some girls like to play it both ways. "No,I don't like you romantically,BUT I want to stay friends" Lesbians will guilt you for avoiding them for friendzoning you...but guess what? Too damn bad!

  • @ArlettaRandles
    @ArlettaRandles 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Yes, please make a video on how to get over someone or how to get over a crush that would be great

  • @DrAnamikaJain
    @DrAnamikaJain 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I get the notification as soon as i wake up and see ..and trust me my day goes happy..thank u😊and nice video ,its helpful..

  • @andrewlancaster5789
    @andrewlancaster5789 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Great video, and the advice is relevant for any kind of relationship. I think you two are fantastic.

  • @sunflowergarden9794
    @sunflowergarden9794 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    5 months ago I was in denial. 4 or 3 months later I finally accepted that im bisexual (only my 2 best friends and my crush know about my sexuality). I even have a huge crush on a girl and I recently found out she is bisexual too!!

    • @sunflowergarden9794
      @sunflowergarden9794 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Omg I’m here again. I meet my crush and she is the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen

    • @sunflowergarden9794
      @sunflowergarden9794 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I have a girlfriend since yesterday!! We met at college but started talking the 16 of August, the 19 I told her I loved her and now she is my girlfriend (since the 27 of August). Im so excited but afraid, we are both pretty inexperienced so that eases my anxiety a bit. Nonetheless, IM SO HAPPY!!

  • @zoestevenson9324
    @zoestevenson9324 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I’m talking to a girl in my newer friend group, she’s not straight, she’s single, she accepted when I asked her to hoco, she got excited when I said I was doing something bigger to re ask (I wanted her to not feel pressure the first time on Friday so I asked with just me are her I’ve now made a sign), we talked for 2 hours texting back and forth learning more about each other tonight and I wanted to know if she liked me or if she doesn’t and just sees me as a friend. Halp! (Also she called me pretty yesterday and that she was happy I asked her to hoco)

  • @nina2878
    @nina2878 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Me and my crush, we are always waving our hands and saying hi and that’s it. We didn’t even started talking because i am scared that she will not like me back😖

  • @skym5817
    @skym5817 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Might as well just give up now:( this is the hardest to navigate my feelings to. Ive always been dating guys but im srsly attracted to this girl now. Im beating myself up for it

  • @SamizzleNguyen
    @SamizzleNguyen 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    After watched all your videos, I came back here to tell you guys that I adore both of you so much. I've never get excited to watch vlogs, usually I skip it after few first minutes. But your videos are awesome, I enjoy your stories, your thoughts and so much energy in every videos. I'm having a hard time with my life, too much happening to me. But your videos is one way to get away with all of it.
    So, thank you.
    I wish you guys all the best.
    Anh.

    • @AlexisLilian
      @AlexisLilian  5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wow thank you so much! That makes us so happy to hear! Sending love and good energy from Canada ♥️

  • @lilypierie9126
    @lilypierie9126 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My crush randomly hit me up like last weekend and told me that she thinks I'm hot and that she misses our conversations and when we would hang out, but has been either keeping me on delivered or read or saying that she just hasn't checked her messages for awhile and I've had to restart the conversations. I understand maybe just being a bad communicator but it seems like she isn't putting much effort into talking to me or really wanting to but I'm so confused because of the way she went out of her way to hit me back up again and saying that I'm hot and that she misses me. I just want to know what's really going on because I'm so confused and I really like her :(

  • @fapui560
    @fapui560 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    About being flakey I actually do that but is not on purpose is due to my anxiety, so it's not always bs

  • @tarotcardsandcrystalstars5115
    @tarotcardsandcrystalstars5115 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Loving this advice series! Am voting for more

  • @hellajellatv9418
    @hellajellatv9418 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I'm bi, but I've always preferred women romantically. However every woman I've ever had strong feelings for ends up ghosting or rejecting me. I don't know why I'm so undesirable.... help :(

  • @susanroger.7784
    @susanroger.7784 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I see myself in Lilian and that inspires me a lot😀❤
    Love you guys!❤

    • @libratran7396
      @libratran7396 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Lilian....she's really attractive, i like alexis so much but i love lilian, i wish i had a girlfriend like lilian 😉

  • @AN-gi6ke
    @AN-gi6ke 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    gosh thanks for saying that it's not a negative thing

  • @kinthapasith7118
    @kinthapasith7118 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I met a girl on dating app we know each other for a while and met several time we were having a really good time together so I decided to told her how I really feel but I didn't expect her to like me back or else just want to tell her that's all and at first I seem to turn out in a good way cause she told me maybe we can be a good friend I'm also happy with that and then she changed she not the same anymore that make me quite disappointed btw wish her the best and I have to move on

  • @AverageDonaldDuckFan
    @AverageDonaldDuckFan หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Im lesbian-oriented aroace. I think women are very petty, but romance and getting married and ,,other stuff aren't and never have been something that I've ever needed in my life, but if I *wanted* to do those things then it would be with a woman.
    I have a friend who constantly flirts with me, saying they'd want to do certain things with me, calling me pretty and outright pining for me, saying they'd love to put frosting on my nose after I told them I thought it was a cute tradition to do after couples get married.
    They even asked me to be in a queerplatonic relationship once, but I felt that at the time that I didn't know them very well. I didn't even know their real name for a long while.
    However, they also tell me about their crushes. They said they might get into a relationship soon, and it's super confusing to have them flirt with me and say sweet things when they have no actual interest in me. Is it odd to say I'm hurt by this?

    • @etcwhatever
      @etcwhatever หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      No, your hurt feelings are legitimate. That woman is playing you big time. I would just tell her: "Either you act on your desire and date me or never insinuate yourself towards me again". A lot for women just want to feel desired...just an ego boost. It's hard for me to show my feelings...but I've started to do it. The right person will see it and value it...the wrong person will think you are weak and chasing. It's a THEM problem.

    • @AverageDonaldDuckFan
      @AverageDonaldDuckFan หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @etcwhatever thank you for this 🥺 they just got into a relationship, and I've felt so hurt by it since they said we could get closer before getting together and I felt we were closer than before, but I guess they wanted something faster than I could give them. My heart feels pained, but it isn't broken. It's only growing. Someone will see me for me and not just as an option, but for now, I will see the value in myself if they can't. ♡

  • @dibsidubsi1378
    @dibsidubsi1378 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    There's this girl I like who constantly says to me that I'm very cute, however, she barely answers my messages and even ghosts me. Idk what to think.

  • @AlasseMeneldur
    @AlasseMeneldur 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Yes to video about getting over someone please!! And how to get over heartbreak please

  • @amketique
    @amketique 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I really liked this video. The last situation I applied this to was when she'd take a while to get back to me and didn't initiate most of our text conversations or keep them going. I didn't realize it, but she wasn't a big texter and she'd invite me on phone calls and chats with her and her friends. I interpreted it as a lack of interest, but the truth was that she was going through a rough time, and understandably, our connection was not a priority. By the time I realized this, I'd broken our thing off and it was unfixable. Depending on how invested you are in the person, do you think it's a good idea to gently ask them if everything's ok?

    • @lycheejellly
      @lycheejellly 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      i think its definitely a good idea to ask if everything is okay, and let the person know that u are there for them and u care about them

  • @gabbygarcia8412
    @gabbygarcia8412 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thanks for this! Can you guys do a video on mind games in dating why people play them

  • @honeylavender1122
    @honeylavender1122 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Y’all nailed it! These are really good

  • @fortminorproject
    @fortminorproject 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks for the tips. I want what you two have that's hard to come by. I hate iam always having to put in effort it's like nobody wants to get to know me . Dating is definitely hard .

  • @eddie9420
    @eddie9420 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I think a "straight" girl likes me because she has said before that she did and she thought she was bi and she keeps going back between straight and bi, I'm just confused. I guess this'll point me in the right direction. I'll edit this and say what I've learned in the end. Lol.
    Edit: She doesn't like me. But who knows. Thats up to her. ;-;

  • @heaven_ly
    @heaven_ly 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm a super flirtatious person but I can only flirt with people I don't like. I always feel bad about it but it just feels like it takes some of the pressure off. The girl that I like is so intimidating but like in a hot mentor-y way and I just cannot flirt with her it never works lmao

  • @deniseabad7966
    @deniseabad7966 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Please continue being an inspiration to people A+L ❤❤..big support from the Philippines ❤❤..nonskipping on ads for all your vids 😁😁

    • @AlexisLilian
      @AlexisLilian  5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Haha aww thanks so much ♥️ Sending love to the Philippines, hopefully we’ll get to visit soon!

  • @mariafabiolarealtor
    @mariafabiolarealtor 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I was relieved until the part when you say she doesn't care about looking good for you. I'm texting this girl and she always sends me pics but like with facemask on, or not really posing or smiling, that sort of thing. Shit, I'm in the friendzone

  • @leoleiii
    @leoleiii 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    My crush does not do any of these and I am still too scared to make a move because I don’t want to loose her

    • @Whimswirl
      @Whimswirl 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Same! I feel like my crush likes me back but isn't ready for a relationship.

    • @boximus_prime
      @boximus_prime 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Saaammeee I have a crush on my roommate, and she doesn't do any of these things, and we're really good friends and I think she might like me back, but I'm too scared to make a move bc I dont want to ruin our relationship ughh

    • @katharinakreutz5755
      @katharinakreutz5755 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I know this feeling as well!!

    • @just_passing_by_love2098
      @just_passing_by_love2098 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      First confess your feelings u will feel better after that
      Suppressing feelings are not good

  • @zeynep6870
    @zeynep6870 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Let's see if she is not into me. I am afraid of the results. Love from Turkey you cuties

    • @nazlimsp
      @nazlimsp 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Oha Türk merhaba

    • @zeynep6870
      @zeynep6870 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@nazlimspoha türk sana da merhaba kgövlög

    • @nazlimsp
      @nazlimsp 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Oha bir dakika yanıt aldım Şsnzşenxpemxşb

    • @nazlimsp
      @nazlimsp 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Şizofren olma ihtimailim yüzde kaç acaba

    • @zeynep6870
      @zeynep6870 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@nazlimsp Bence gayet sağlıklısın

  • @armyblink2368
    @armyblink2368 ปีที่แล้ว

    Honestly speaking ,I have a crush on this girl who I think is 90 percent straight,but has a chance of being bi like 10 percent.She tries to talk with me about several topics and I simply kind of act like I am not interested or just answer her question and leave her aside.She makes different excuses to speak to me.I only answer with one word answers or don’t show much enthusiasm.But no one knows I am so into her.Gosh,wish she is bi atleast.

  • @azinrh1531
    @azinrh1531 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Such a great video👏Love you guys😍❤

  • @foreverg2569
    @foreverg2569 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Yes please do a video on how to get over someone please. Love your videos!

  • @weilaimarqelizabethsangita
    @weilaimarqelizabethsangita 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    i think goes the same with friends too... every one of these just described 95% of my friendships D:

  • @victoriadavis8729
    @victoriadavis8729 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I accidentally sometimes do these things to my crush oh no 😭😭😭

  • @namenotfound0
    @namenotfound0 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    i shouldn’t have thought we could be anymore than friends 😔

    • @ferchii13
      @ferchii13 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Im sad. 🥲

  • @sandyfox2486
    @sandyfox2486 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    making a video on how to get over someone sounds like a great idea.

    • @AlexisLilian
      @AlexisLilian  4 ปีที่แล้ว

      We already did, check it out :)

  • @shiryang3490
    @shiryang3490 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    like before watching, always enjoy ur videos💛

  • @Chelow47
    @Chelow47 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I like to authentic humor yall bring into your videos. You two are funny, especially Alexis. Thanks for sharing the vids!

  • @mfg2324
    @mfg2324 5 ปีที่แล้ว

    Big problem: I know that she's not into me and that she never will be. I silently said "goodbye" to her on New Year's eve because I know I should stop wanting her. So far so good, but every time I see and smell her my heart doesn't remember my desicion... But I can't avoid seeing her, we share the same friends in school...

  • @skipandskip
    @skipandskip 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    It is my story how crap I was in silly situation. I crush on the trainee at work. She was the one whom I felt in love at first sight and she was also the only one who made me got fired from the company. She reported me to HR that I did harashment action on her just because I kissed her cheek once. At the time she enjoyed it, nothing bad things happened even she asked me to hang up again on the other days. I just realized she just used me, what a gold digger. I never hate her might be I still put heart on her. I am happy now, feeling peaceful stay away from toxic people. Karma does exist 😂

    • @etcwhatever
      @etcwhatever หลายเดือนก่อน

      Fired for kissing on the cheek is wild. Did you defend yourself with HR? In my country it's like saying hello. I'm truly shocked.

  • @sarys489
    @sarys489 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    this girl was totally flirting with me, glancing over multiple times, becoming awkward and quiet whenever I'd walk by at work. I emailed her bc it became just too awkward to talk in person, and she did not reply... lol maybe i should have really talked to her in person first..

  • @xXSerenitvXx
    @xXSerenitvXx 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    First off, I love you guys :) you were the first people to really make me feel normal when I started to come to terms with the fact that I am bi (not straight).
    Now, could I get some advice regarding the "she likes flirting" bit.
    I've been going to a gay bar three times now so far and am planning on going again. On the first night two best friends, a guy and a girl, approached me and since then we always hung out when I went there.
    She is incredibly hot.
    She had been flirting with me a little bit ever since the first night, but also been acting like a buddy so I was unsure about her.
    Last time I went there, however, she was flirting with me all through the night. It started with being really excited for me to come, teasing me from the start, always standing so close that we would touch a little, turned into "sexy dancing" while looking straight into my eyes with a smile, at some point hugging me intimately while caressing my back for like five minutes, suggesting we go to my place (to which I replied "no, you're too drunk"), and finally, kissing me by the bar. Heavily.
    So I was very much into all that.
    But on the other hand, she also made out with two others during the night and was overall very touchy and flirty with a large number of people.
    The next day I told her I would love to meet her sober and somewhere else and asked if she wanted to meet me as well. she asked me to postpone the conversation to when she felt like the alcohol had left her system. I was okay with that. Two days later I told her I still would like to meet her. She replied that she did like me, but that we were only "party buddies" and she had thought that had been clear. She said she was sorry if I had interpreted the kiss in a different way, she had just kissed me "out of the moment".
    I pointed out that it had not just been one moment but a lot of moments during that night. She claimed she didn't remember that, eventually accusing me of, I think, disrespecting her relationship (she has an open relationship, which I knew) and eventually blocked me cause it was "too much". So that went badly.
    Now the core question: I am not into her romantically, but I feel very sexually attracted to her. Since she did initiate a lot of flirting and eventually a kiss, I have hopes she might be open for having sex at some point. But then again, she reacted the way she did. Do you think I should just let it go completely or do you think I have a shot at some point in the future?
    This is confusing...

  • @mfg2324
    @mfg2324 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    None of my crushes has ever been into me... Sadly it happens very often that I talk with my crushes about their crushes, about their problems related to love. I don't know why it always has to be like that, I think I'm just unlucky...

  • @namenlos78
    @namenlos78 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    5:25 Could be also seen as a sign of social anxiety.

  • @perseorso6173
    @perseorso6173 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    such an important video! thanks so much. I hope some straight guys watch it as well... could you do a video on how to deal with rejection please?

    • @nastjasredic1124
      @nastjasredic1124 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes, just wanted to write that, a video about how to deal with your crush not liking you.