8 Ways To Tell If A Femme Girl Is A Lesbian
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.ค. 2024
- How can you tell if a girl is gay? A lot of times you will hear about short hair, style etc, but in reality these are just stereotypes that don't always apply. So how can you tell if a not stereotypically queer looking woman is lesbian or bi?
In this video we discuss 8 ways you can find out, based on our experiences.
Please do share your own advice and tips in comments, we all know this can be a tricky one ;)
*Also, we use the word "lesbian" mostly for SEO purposes - what we mean is anyone gay, bi, on the queer spectrum.*
Thank you for watching and for all of the support! We love you!
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Lots of Love,
A + L
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Lesbian girl problem:
Compliment a guy and he thinks you're flirting with him. Flirt with a girl and she thinks you're complimenting her
Or they think you are mad dogging them for no reason 🙄😒 (girls)
OMG! Yeaas💋
Yep yep yep
oh its exactly fucking like this
Omg SO TRUEEE
I am a femme girl who's into femme girls.
Basically, nobody ever makes a move at me and I never make a move at anybody
Me too😂😂
😂😂😂
same I'm a femme bi and a femme girl made a move on me once and I didn't know what to do because it never happened before and I was with my straight male friends it was so awkward and we were both very drunk 🙈 I really need more gay friends
Same I'm losing hope :/ Single forever
Sounds bout right 😅
"Straight girls love flirting with girls"
THE STORY OF MY LIFE, I TAKE HER HOME, I DRIVE ALL NIGHT TO KEEP HER WARM AND TIME IS FROZEN
Not just flirting; when I go clubbing, some straight girls are quite willing to make out with me (kissing, groping), but they’re just trying to get the attention of some guys. I don’t always catch on...
THE STORY OF MY LIFE I GIVE HER HOPE I SPEND HER LOVE UNTIL SHES BROKE INSIDE
one direction
Nice pic @girlofweb
WRITTEN ON THESE WALLS ARE THE STORIES THAT I CAN'T EXPLAIN
I met a girl who liked "orange is the new black" and then I wasn't pretty sure if she was gay so I asked her what she thinks about Ruby Rose and then she was like "She is my crush" and then I told her "so, are u into girls?" And then she was like "noup, sorry I'm straight" and I was like "straight people are fucked up" lmfao
well maybe she is but isn't ready to tell? the exact same situation happened to me , and im bi , im really unsure of my sexuality
I guess ask her if she likes Hayley Kiyoko
Im queer but i dont know who she is
@@dl-iy8jf She's a singer who openly out and her songs are about women. But I get your point
kcmn00 that could work but I mean even straight girls listen to her now lol
@@taylor9575 Yeah but most straight girls don't get excited the way lesbians do.
I don‘t think she’s that attractive but I‘m bi:)
I kinda want to be lesbian enough for other lesbians to tell but at the same time be femme enough so my fam won’t question me...
Audrey Jensen my exact issue
Is Audrey Jensen your actual name or is it a reference to scream? (If it is yassss I love Audrey)
Audrey Jensen too relatable
Audrey Jensen same
Ugh same, no man spreading for me 😂😭 and no rainbow jumpers hahaha
I’m not scared of them knowing, I just don’t want them to think that my sexuality is defining me, which it isn’t, it’s just who I am...
when you're a femme lesbian who doesn't watch orange is the new black or doesn't listen to girl in red or hayley kiyoko 🤧🥺😭
Same bruh, I'm not a lesbian though just your strange asexual like potato with a preferance for women
Hayley rocks🥀
Is that an Nct reference or am I jumping to conclusions?
cherry bomb mood
I am more straight and I listen to more girl x girl songs not all the time.
i just wanna say thank you so much for including us bi girls
Sabine Isabel sameeee
I totally get it! I feel the same way... so, thanks for including us in the video👍🏻
ok me but i’m pan lol
hailey hill samee
Same hun
love that you also include bisexuality as valid
for sure, lilian actually identifies as bisexual!
Me too
I’m newly bi, do people usually not include bisexuality?
there’s a lot of biphobia in the lgbt community actually, and we actually will soon be doing a video discussing this - L
ella de roeck I’m bisexual and new to the community. I don’t know anyone personally who I can relate to so I’m reaching out so I can gain some support and have people to talk to and relate to. Hope you can support me and my channel 💕 it would mean the absolute world to me
I'm a gay femme but I give off such straight girl vibes! I think I'm just shy and intimidated by girls but I don't know how to give off gay vibes, it might help things a lot!
Snowy Starks. I feel exactly the same. Also another annoying thing is that guys keep flirting with me :|
Lol we all have the same experience 😂😂😂
KJS I hear you. I’m not even femme and guys still flirt with me. I once literally had a shirt on that said I was gay and that still didn’t stop them. -.-
Hi
Just wear a pride flag bracelet or clothes, but mostly the first one.
How to tell of someone is a lesbian
1. Ask them
People wont tell you the truth
Noooo I'm scared
Make sure you two are alone though in case she’s not out yet. That would be a lot of pressure for her to answer with other people around.
that doesn't work, for most of the planet is in the closet
I was thinking about getting a rainbow tattoo on my forehead, maybe this helps? XD Yes, I'm desperate.
hahahahhahahahaha
Don't wear the rainbow.
Become the rainbow.
Hahah I just died reading your comment :p :p
😂
You would be the Alpha gay
As a fem les, people think I'm straight all the time. I love seeing their faces when I say my wife.
Niki Rani lol nice to mess with people’s stereotypes
that’s so funny hsjdjf wish the best to both of you
Same here. Lol
Club. I consider myself a lipstick lesbian. I'm totally feminine.
At least you have a wife! What will happen to me - girls don't even think I am lesbian, and men try to go on dates with me! :(
I put rainbows on my social media because I support my daughter who's gay and I support lgbtq. :). I'm probably adding to the confusion lol.
😭 Please be my mom lol (not joking though)
This is so good and cute. We need more people like youuu
That’s awesome, I bet she really appreciates that
Awwwwwwwww, I wish my mom was like that💛😭. Can you adopt me please?
@@morgoth_bauglir you bet ;)
This year I am a freshman. Well this guy sat with us at lunch and all my friends started teasing me saying that I liked him. They didn't know my sexuality. One day in the middle of the hallway my friend and I were in a group. There were a lot of teachers and students around. They started teasing me again. I got so frustrated that I yelled I am lesbian in the middle of the hallway. I got a lot of weird looks and the first thing I said was "what the hell do you think you're looking at. Then I went back to my conversation with my friends. So I came out to my whole highschool. I was a new student and nobody knew me. But now everyone knows I am lesbian. I just embrace it.
Caitlin Ames- That’s hilarious! 😂 I’m a freshman too, but it’s obvious that I’m lesbian. I wear flannel, have buzzed hair, everything. And in conversations, I frequently use expressions like “Not in front of my gay ass” to insensitive comments.
sometimes i really want to do that but im filled with fear :(
@@killuazoldyck4289 I was scared at first. But I was done with people assuming my sexuality because I am a femme lesbian. It was purely accidental. But what happens happens. My school is very supportive of our community, so it wasn't that bad for me.
🌈
this looks like a part in a movie and i loved it
I don’t know if I’m bi anymore. Sometimes I think I’m a full on lesbian because I’m just so much more attracted to women. But somewhere very distant in my heart some guys are 🤩
Yeah that is wonderful good for you. Love whoever you want to love
I feel the same way and I’m confused as hell
Bi doesn't have to be 50/50. It can be even 99/1 😊
@@salamzander How come?
Meggie Willis the only guy I had a crush on was because I had a close friendship with him prior and was drawn to his energy and personality. But when we tried to go on dates, it felt quite awkward and it usually had nothing to do with him. I’m just confused as hell in general bc I’ve never been in an official relationship to know where I stand. Although, the signs that I’m attracted to girls are undeniable for me.
Okay but... what if they are closeted?
Then they would probably be difficult to date.
ughh this is not helpful
then she's got a journey to figure out, and not ready to date healthily
idk before I came out of the closet hell before I even knew I had feelings towards ladies people always seemed to just kind of know. I got quite a few questions about it growing up.
Never date a closet lesbian.
For some reason I personally love when a girl or guy gives off straight vibes but they're actually gay haha
Yehh you said my words
That is a common preference.
Aloha803 SAME
What do you think if someone gives off gay vibes even though he/she is straight
Me hahaha
My daughter is gay, and before she came out to me, I didn't overthink the topic and just went by the stereotypical signs. She had always been femme-ish so that kinda delayed me recognising her sexuality. However, her first girlfriend was SO femme, very cute-girl-next-door kinda vibe. I did not pick it at all! But now, many years later, I've gotten better at 'reading' the signs, and I guess I get it right about 70% of the time. So if I'm chatting with a person who I think might not be straight, and it's not in a potentially awkward situation, I mention my daughter and how proud I am of her. Then watch for the reaction. I want them to know that I'm an ally.
Derek Parnell an ally? Wtf are you her mom or are you a stranger acting like she’s some foreign disease that you’ve accepted into your life ..
Captivated Lunt
How is that acting like the daughter is a disease? She’s literally just saying she’s proud of her daughter and supports lgbt. Why get caught up in the word “ally”
@@captivatedlunt1895 huh?
@@captivatedlunt1895 Your comment is rude as fuck
@@captivatedlunt1895 ????????????
“not a very advanced queer person” LMAO
love your profile hahaha irene fan art
Anyone wanna be my femme girlfriend? 😂😂
:)
Want a French fem girlfriend ?😂😂
Juste Moi you want a Filipina girlfriend? 😂😂
Marjorie Russel Flores i mean this would be really a random first meet 😂
I ship it already 👆🏻 (coming back a year later) so I click on this video not realizing I’ve watched it before and as I’m scrolling through the comments I see my comment and what everything has become 😆 guess that’s what I get for not subscribing to anything. 🤷🏻♀️
those are good tips but they don't really help you if you see a cute girl at a café. You don't have the time to get to know her so how to know whether she's into women? I don't "look gay" and I'm constantly approached by men whereas I would love to be approached by women. Never happens. Lesbians don't make moves because 99% of the time we just assume everyone is straight (which is unfortunately true).
And it makes them hate men even more because there's this underlying general consensus that males and females usually attract one another - crazy right? Shoulder the burden men face of having to attract who they're attracted to with the risk of being awkward, losing status, feeling foolish, facing rejection etc. Girls don't know that, girls can basically CHOOSE from who's available simply by showing mild interest
So I'd say try showing mild interest in other girls and go from there
Can girls be creepy to other girls they're trying to attract?
+Dillon Anthony Sometimes a girl/woman goes for a boy/man and gets rejected or avoided, too.
@@mariposadelaire5390 Yeah, but it's not on the same level - males have way much more to lose. Girls typically chat more and gossip about any slight attraction of males or attempt a male made on them - whereas males usually keep all of that stuff in to ourselves.
It kind of makes you feel a little creepy in itself tbh
it's like for any given situation it's a big "I find you sexually attractive and would be open to pursuing it if possible" and so for the female might be like "you find me attractive? now i am forced to given an honest reaction and decide on whether i find you attractive in this given situation, and that's a big thing for anyone to decide because it kind of depends on everything" so that is why people 'flirt' because it's like "we're not actually making any big life changing/damaging decisions, I'm not forcing you to play along, it's your choice etc - but once something is a lot more established like after sex or expectations of a relationship etc then it feels a lot more serious because then it's like "we obviously value the feeling of someone caring enough to want us to make us feel good and willing to put the effort in doing so" we only do what we think is best.
Dillon Anthony we don’t hate men.
@@sAMiAm1 No, you're right, you just prefer having sexual interactions and or partners of the same sex, right?
My version of flirting:
Crush: I’m really ugly...
Me: no!
My version of being nice to a random person:
Person: I’m really ugly...
Me:no!
I've been out for 32 years. I'd like to say IT DOESN'T MATTER how someone identifies. Sometimes people don't actually know - I know people who didn't get into a same-sex relationship until their 30s, and even after then they didn't instantly adopt some other label for their sexuality.
My very experienced rule for finding out for whether a woman you're interested in dating is interested in dating *you* is to ASK HER OUT. Simple. Done. End of advice.
I know too many femme or "straight-appearing" queer women who didn't get many dates and who were subtly or overtly excluded from queer gatherings simply because how they looked. If they want to hang out with *you* (and you're out to them) or queers in general, they're probably not necessarily entirely straight, or at the very least they're cool with queer people.
Ok, more real advice: she should like you, you should be able to laugh together, you should have stuff in common, she should not be a homophobe, and she should be willing to be honest about your relationship with everyone important if you get in involved. That really IS all of my advice.
Yes i am like that. I am 22 and i actually dont know what i am. I consider myself straight girl and i have been in 2 relationships with guys, and in my life i have crush on guys and women generally dont attract me, just 1 in past when i was younger i deeply fall in love withmy girl bestfriend. Now i am 2 months in relationship with 1 girl who is 28 years old and i had first lesbian experience with her. I like her and I am attracted to her but stil dont know how to label myself. I love being with her but i think men attract me more in sexual way but with women i can form better emotional connection and i am happier with women. I guess maybe i am bisexual
Love this !!
Exactly. As you get older the labels don't matter anymore.
Well said
I'm a femme lesbian. I wear a lot of make-up.. But most of my friends are straight and if a girl starts flirting with me I become shy and actually pull away without even realizing it on time.. I don't show a lot of emotions if people talk about pride, I acually don't show my emotions most of the time.. I've dated a girl only once (never a guy) but not because I'm not gay but because I'm a dreamer and I wanted to be with the right girl now and forever. It didn't work obviously. But what I meant was that you won't find a lot of facts about me that would help you find out I'm a lesbian.. But here I am.
Lindsay Jessica Pond-Williams 😉
Love your comment! so dry/ironic in parts but can relate
Sigh, I know how you feel. And if you makes you feel any better you sound like exactly the kind of girl I'm attracted to ahaha
saame girl... i'm gay but closeted, only a few friends know i am. i live in a small town where homosexuality isn't accepted or respected yet. i mean if you come out kids will laugh at you and parents won't accept you for a long time. i have some bi/gay/pan friends and once i was in a secret relationship with one, but she felt in love with someone else so here i am... forever single, i'd probably kiss walls right now.
Hi can we be friends?
The silver hair one is stunning and beautiful
the one with brown hair is more so!!
They both are
@@user-lw6sq5xc3w nice name.
They are both gorgeous
Lol it sounds like u are talking about a horse or a dog.
I am a pushing 60 white guy who is as straight as an arrow. What cool couple. No idea about my 20-yo daughter but I am comfortable no matter her desires
Straight girl: *flirts*
The gays™: omg omg omg omg omg om-
cool that you included bi girls! :D
My worst fear is that no one will know that I’m a lesbian because I come off extremely feminine. I’ve never had anyone know that I like girls unless I’ve said so. Everyone assumes I’m straight and will literally almost fight me on my own sexuality lol. One of my favorite colors is pink, i wear makeup, my room is pink, i dress very feminine. But hopefully other girls gaydar will catch up to me haha
Anybody else here because they have a crush on a femme girl?
I did. I thought she was straight...
Turns out she's bi and now we're dating!
Yes
Yes. She's lesbian and has a girl but i'm questioning :')
Bro. Yes. I’m so desperate
I personally watch this because I am a femme girl and I don't know what to do to seem more gay without changing my style (but like I'm desperate for a girlfriend ngl)
2:03 actual footage of me pretending to be straight at family meetups
Same
Dying😂😭
Actually it is difficult to figure out if a femme is queer if she is not Out and does not want to reveal her sexual identity to you.
P.S. So happy to see your cute faces! 💕
agree
Just ask her out on a date.. She'll probably tell you whether she's into you or not.
Exactly!! That‘s so hard
Got confused by 🌈 in IG profile of my girl crush. She's so feminine, got long polished nails, loves to wear dresses but also often goes casual with loose flannels and ripped jeans. Got a huge animal tattoo on her back. Never ever talk about boys. Big time cat lady. Talented artist. Loves adventure. Eat like alooot. Loves hanging out w me. I'm out to her as andro bisexual, she doesnt mind & always so happy when i invite her to do fun things, we've been friends for like 3 weeks. She's so nice & friendly to ppl (a charming girl everyone loves) but is often nervous around me (maybe bcs i'm nervous too) Not sure how to ask, afraid if i drive her away. Help 😭
Just casually flirt and see we're it goes
Since you're out to her but she hasn't said anything about her own sexuality and you haven't asked her, I'd say that if there's something there, she would and should make the first step or give you some hints.
I hope things work out! 😊
If she’s as nice as you say, you should confess your feelings. If she doesn’t accept your feelings, no harm done. If she does accept your feelings, yay!! Positive either way. That’s what a girl said was her thought process when she was debating whether to confess to me or not.
@@lunarcyborgprincess
What did you respond? *. *
Hone in on your interactions with her, test waters etc - this is the way to get closer, by daring, adventuring etc - girls aren't usually the ones doing this when it comes to male&female which is why it's very easy for males to be get the 'creep' label, give off scary/creepy vibes or may also have a fear of rejection - most girls haven't had to deal with 'testing their anticipation' with someone because it's been a general consensus that the boy does this, now that there's this crazy identify as anything era going on - that's all changed. Good luck with that. :/ Aw god, i can see it now, females restrooms having dispensable dildos, guides and books for women on how to do the attracting, women feeling the burden on top of what burden they already feel as women, damn, this is going to be a grim awkward next 20 years...
Basically, just be yourself *sigh*
The amount of times you outright include Bi women in your instructions here just, warms me so much. Makes me feel so included.
I'm always looking for:
Short nails
Flannels
Cuffed Jeans
Any rainbow
Crazy hair colors
Short hair (?)
Rings and accessories (when it comes to a girl that may be femme)
How she reacts to physical contact (like if I'm patting her shoulder,if she's used with female body contact)
Also learn body language
Also watch their playlist (music tells A LOT about a person)
Holy shit,there's many more.
Also sorry,but english isn't my native language :)
Short nails ✔
Flannels ✔
Cuffed jeans/ shirts ✔
Rainbow anything ✖
Crazy hair color ✔ (3 time purple 💜 turned pink later on 💘 want to dye it blue 💙)
Short hair ✔ (kind of shoulder length)
Rings and accessories ✔ (rings are a must i always have to have one on at least and have this bracelet that i never part with and I've been wearing the same necklace for the past like what 5 years ??)
Physical touch ✔ (I'm so used to it like seriously!)
Body language ✖ (I don't actually know 😅)
My playlist basically starts with "Sweater Weather" by The Neighbourhood and filled with Troye Sivan "Girls like Girls" by Hayley Kiyoko is on repeat "Outlaws of Love" by Adam Lambert "Fire on Fire" by Sam Smith "High Hopes" by Panic! At the disco "Castle on the Hill" by Ed Sheeran "War of Hearts" by Ruelle "Angel with a Shotgun" by The Cab anything by The Chainsmokers and the list goes on ... etc.
In conclusion, if it wasn't too obvious I'm basically a bisexual 💙💜💘
Your English is pretty good don't apologize for it ;)
Your English is goo
Good
The way I like girls yet check none of the boxes 💀
short nails
no rainbow but my Instagram name is basically "girl in red"
short hair
I am generally awkward with physical touch so no
idk abt body language
I got some gay songs but I have a lot of music so it takes longer to find I think
I'm a femme and probably lesbian
I’m a femme lesbian who usually dates femme women and I would just ask if they wanted to hangout and go from there. 2 femmes who like each other act a lot as best friends so if it led in that direction deeper feelings should naturally arise. Also tinder! Pretty easy to spot out femme lesbians that way.
Is tinder the way to find femme girls! I’ve been doing it wrong 😂
@@divinemadness7119 nah its all bicurious heterosexual women
I did not find Tinder to be very LGBT friendly. I would put "lesbian" in my description as well as "looking for a girlfriend," and still get men trying to hit me up. Uh, no.
@Megan Willis 😁😁
Sylena I have a question.
I think you left out the most obvious first step in getting to know a young woman: compliment her in some way - a piece of jewelry, her hair, eyes, perfume, clothing/style, the A she got in chemistry, her Resist mouse pad, etc. Pursue a conversation and drop more compliments here and there - but be honest. If you don't really like the jacket she's wearing don't say that you do.
Sports used to be the tried and true test to tell if a woman is lesbian, but not so much anymore. Ask if she has any female sports sheroes. If she knows who Casey Dellacqua is, you might be on to something.
Who are her favorite female singers/bands, celebrities? If she knows who Fletcher or King Princess is, you might very well be on to something.
Ask about the last movie, TV/Netflix series she watched, her favorite social media personalities. If she names Wentworth, Wynonna Earp or TH-camrs Rose and Rosie or Hannah Hart, you are definitely on to something.
Be sure to hold her gaze while in conversation - but don't be creepy about it. Quickly and lightly touch her forearm and watch her response. Touch her shoulder, mid back, hand or knee the same way - again, don't be creepy. If she responds to any of these by smiling or touching you back, you are surely on to something.
Find an excuse to ever so gently invade her space, e.g., you might try leaning in slightly when she speaks as if you can't hear her over the music/lawn mower/motorcycle. Lower your voice or mumble so that she must lean in to hear you. Look for opportunities to whisper something in her ear, e.g., the person at the end of the bar is obnoxious and loud, the bartender isn't very friendly, the course instructor is an idiot, the cologne the woman in the green dress is wearing makes you nauseous, etc. If she stays close to you instead of moving away, ding-ding-ding-ding - you are SO on to something.
Finally, if you are out and proud then be up front about it. Ask if she has ever dated girls/women. If the answer is no and she's clearly not interested, be cool and establish a friendship with her instead. It's not for lack of trying that lesbians have accumulated so many straight best friends - who have other friends who might be lesbian!
gk37013.......GREAT information. I really liked all your suggestions, especially the lean in and whisper. Closeness builds chemistry. BRAVO!!!!!
nice advices but some girls do everything written above and still straight as hell. Especially about touching!They not only respond but even touch you first and not such places as "shoulder,hand or knee" but boobs or butt and seems that they think that it is some kind of joke. Female friendship is very tactile and it is hard to define is girl gay/bi or not until she say it.
I am into men and girls and have never heard of any of those things! Admittedly I’m much more into men than girls though
I’m a really girly girl though only slightly bicurious lol.
Haha, so you just described flirting in more detal?
"lean in slightly as if you can't hear her over the music/lawn mower"
I'm dying😂😂💜
As a bi girl I like watching videos like this and seeing how many apply to me, since usually they're just about lesbians. It's like a little personal joke with myself. I was pleasantly surprised when you included bi girls in all of these points! Yall are awesome!
I'm queer, but I have gaydar stealth. Even when I was at Pride, holding hands with my gf, someone said to us, "it's so great to see you here, supporting your mom!" T_T She was only 8 years older than me, btw, so that was double awkward LOL
Why is the straight impersonation of a British girl? 😆 What hope do I have in England lmao
😂 we were confused about that too
Alexis and Lilian 😂
Anyone else bi but coming to the conclusion that even so they are meant to be bi themselves? (Yeah I know this one sucked but I promise I’m a good person)
Yes me! As I say, at the moment I'm on standbi :p
🙋right here
thatvegan2 2 well I’m pansexual but I’m not coming out any time soon lol
Bisexuals unite 🤣😂. I have a girlfriend though so can't relate. I'm sure you'll find someone someday and if not then you can kick ass alone
yep had a few boyfriends nothing clicked tried dating girls but grew up in a very anti-lgbtq+ home so it still feels awkward.
Oh I know the struggle, at the beginning of the year I fell head over heels for a straight girl...but turns out she wasn't so straight after all and we've been together for 5 months now- there's hope! ❤🌈
"Straight girls like flirting with other girls."
*screams in confused biromantic asexual*
Significant clues. Usually there are little subtle undertones that impact a person...the lesbian gaze, wanting to spend more time together and progressing to more one to one meetings. This has always been my experience. Have you watched the movie, "Carol" with Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara"? Watch to see more about what I mean about a quiet and silent seduction.
Barbara Morton-Winters I love the movie Carol! Such a beautiful film. And you are totally right, wanting to spend more one on one time is definitely an obvious one. Thanks for the feedback -A💕
I'm queer but still haven't seen Carol. What's the lesbian gaze? I love that gaze is pronounced like gays lol
There is another great movie from the 1960's called The Childrens Hour.....these two young women have a girls school. The one woman has a crush on the other, and the other does not know it. The end is a tear jerker. The one comes out and tells how she feels about the other. Stars Shirley McLaine and Audrey Hepburn.
@@Bri11bri Loooooots of long eye contact, I think; same kinda thing in NBC's Hannibal with Will and Hannibal.
LOVE that film.
Why is it so unacceptable to ask a girl out if you are also a girl. You're not a predator. You have this thing called empathy for the experience. You can be the most respectful of a woman's space, mind and time. You got this!
I’m very private about my sexuality due to my family and trying to keep it on the dl for them. And I tend to not come out unless someone comes out or I am assured the won’t judge me
Madison Hernandez, I was the same way. My family is Christian. In my freshman year of high school I was openly lesbian - I got a short buzzed haircut, wore masculine clothes, etc. I got bullied bad. I stayed at that school though. I understand not coming out - it’s hard.
Oh, good old "Soreass Hill" - good gods that was execrable. It was like a David Attenborough doccie-wokkie on gay guys. The only film I've seen that was worse was "there will be blood" aka "there'd better be a refund". The only person who could act was that Michelle lass, the rest of it was primary school play bad.
Same
My family is my concern too especially my Mum
I am tired of hiding
I'm WAY too shy for this! I'm also completely clueless as to if/when I'm being flirted with.
My Ex-girlfriend took my hand as we were dancing in the first line of a concert, then her hand rushed over to my neck, just slightly touching. Then I was the one reaching out for a kiss. Guess what, till this very night I didn't know that I'm queer.
Were you intoxicated?
maybee @@aFoxyFox.
Whose concert was it ?
That sounds so sweet
A Foxy Fox yeah ppl do stupid shit when there buzz or drank
Mention things like Katie McGrath, supergirl, wynonna Earp, Legends of Tomorrow, Hayley Kiyoko, Orange is the New Black, One Day at a Time, Kristen Stewart, Cate Blanchett and see the response you get
Love this one 😂😂
Cate Blanchett is such a queen
I'm sorry how do you know my life?
Just found your channel! Thank you ladies!! - I’m coming out again after being married to a man for 25 years - I dated women before I was married & finally realized life was too short. I’m also SO femme - absolutely no one is going to think I’m gay! But I’m finally putting myself out there after 3 years - I wanted to wait until I was the kind of person I wanted to attract (healed, whole, healthy etc..) because I believe we attract who we are - though she for sure doesn’t have to be femme - I don’t care about labels - I’m just looking for happy. You have a new sub!
Blue is the warmest color, treated their actors horribly and made them really uncomfortable.
When a girl say "my girlfriend" I wonder "girl friend" or "girlfriend"
Oh no, I felt this 😣
but the reaction about saying "I was with my ex girlfriend blah blah" is not always great way to tell. When my crush told me she had a girlfriend I shooked so hard that I could not say anything and I EVEN FORGOT TO SAY that I'm into girls too hahahahah
😂 it’s not easy!
" Straight girls like flirting with girls. " that's absolutely true for me. I experienced it first hand from a woman and she was my teacher. She complimented me with flowery words, teased me, and a little bit touchy with me that I begun to get confused and started questioning my sexuality. I came to a point that I think I really like her and the worst part was when I discovered she was engaged to her long time boyfriend. She is straight and i was left confused. 😑
Haha are you me lol exactly same but mine was married
I later understand that my teacher (she was my teacher for like 3 years)just loves teasing ,joking around and having a direct eye contact for like more 5 min (I don't know how she can do that I always can look in the eyes directly 5 seconds at the max ) in the end I kinda feel like I embarrassed myself a bit haha but life goes on anyways :)
I am super femme, and I found it hard going out as a lot of women wouldn't speak to me because they always thought I was the gay guys best friend... Haha, But I love being femme, embracing my divine femininity cause damn women are beautiful
Embrace that divine femininity girl
Mechanical Lion I do plan on it ❤️
HaleighRaeee
Feel the same way. I'm very feminine in the way I dress, I just have developed a strong personality and it's not because of my sexuality, it's more because of life circumstances. I feel proud to be a woman.
HaleighRaeee same issues 😂 they think I am straight smh and struggle is real
Women are sooooo beautiful
In conservative communities, women do not talk about relationship history, except their ex boyfriends or marriages. There is also no social environment whatsoever. Plus, my gaydar is wishful thinking most of the time.
I think you generally can tell from the interaction you have. The flirting/the chemistry - but of course it can at times be misleading as you point out. I think for non queers it can be hard to understand that you can tell beyond the looks. So many times I told a story about a girl flirting with me and being totally dismissed by my straight friends and/or they assume I judged this because of their looks (which never did fit a stereotype). I know when people flirt with me men or women! :p
I bet you're a pshych major
@@ashmcrandomness8375 Lol.. Not at all. I studied fashion design.
@Hana Rose I guess the joking is an aspect of flirting no matter sexuality or gender. I have definitely done that with men mainly (I am often too shy to flirt with girls). I would still consider it flirting just that it isn't a super serious "I want to sleep with you" rather a cheeky way to connect with people.
I really wanna try dating a girl. I've never been happy dating guys. I've always felt demisexual.... But normally girls that hit on me are girls looking to "experiment" and I'm not into that because I need a strong emotional connection if I want to get physical.
Ok iam here 😍😂
"Not so straight" is also my sexuality
I remember in school my friend looked at everyones nails to judge if theyre lesbian or not. I always have had long nails so they were like no you're not a lesbian. I was laughing on the inside :)
Ima just go buy a shirt that says "femme lesbian", so y'all know.
haha :-)
I feel I should let you know that sometimes a girl can still be into girls even if she says she isn't, it's not always the case but for me, I used to think I was straight because, well, I COULDN'T like girls if I liked guys, or so I thought. It took some time and some soul searching but eventually I realized I was bi. So just be friends with her and if you find out she has feelings for you then the ball's in your court, and if not then, well at least you still have a great friend.
Once I thought a really cute girl was about to ask me out at work... but then she invited me to some church event 😭
the struggle is real 😩😂 but there's Christian lesbians and closeted women don't give up!
Lol
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
i'm in love with Lilian's mind and eloquence. Period.
The eye contact never lies
One of your videos popped up on my recommended list and I’ve been binging on them for half a day now at work, I really love the dynamic you have between you and your videos are so fun to listen to!
I appreciate this video so much! As a femme, people always assume that I am straight, and it kills me. I even did all of the original things you mentioned....I cut my hair off, tried to dress a bit more masculine, I bite my nails so they have always been short, yet it never worked. I was never recognized. So thank you for asking people to do a bit of research to find out or to just ASK the femme lady if she is gay! :)
You both have amazing hair!!!
Thank u for everything.
Love u both .
Especially the way lilian's talk so i want to be someone like lilian
I could not pay attention to the content. The love you have for each other just bursts out. I enjoyed watching LOVE
:)
For what you guys said about straight girls loving to flirt, I have to admit it’s so true!! Sometimes I feel guilty about it, but I can’t help but make other girls feel good about themselves and maybe I take it the extra mile without trying.. oops. Regardless, I’m open to all love and that makes a lot of people think I’m bi, especially by the way I dress too. It’s the “femme lesbian” look lol. I love how chill you girls are and I love the vibe you give off. I’m a new sub and can’t wait to see more! 🌹🌸
Im not gay but I have gay family members I watch gay shows I was not taught to hate everyone deserves love and ppl can love who they want
Have you ever tested the idea in your mind or flirted with the idea?
Me too I'm not gay but I have friends who are gay.
Lilian your voice is SO relaxing 😍😍😪😪
I hate being femme and having everyone think I’m straight 😔
You don't have to hate it
I prefer femme to studs
I find your voices comforting. I just found out this channel 😊😊and I'm happy that I did.
I think a good way to ask is when you're in a conversation with someone and you ask " do you have a boyfriend?" And she replies with "No" you could just ask "Maybe a girlfriend?" After that. You can tell by their reaction if they are into girls or not. And if they react in a bad way you know that they're not worth it.
A girl just recently asked me like that and I just replied "sadly not" to the girlfriend question. So she asked me with one I prefer and I said that I don't care. After that she got really excited and asked if I was bi :D
People are always so surprised when I tell them I’m bisexual 💀 when me and my ex girlfriend first started talking she told me that at first she thought I was joking when I told her I was into girls 🤦🏽♀️
I'm obsessing over Lilian's hair!
Thank you- it's very generous of you 2 to try and help the guys prevent "disaster".
My gaydar is always on. None of my friends are straight. I think that makes my friend group so much more fun.
That is so awesome good for you. You are so pretty in your picture.
I’m a femme girl who also happens to be a lesbian. When I tell people I’m gay they reply with “you’re too pretty to be gay”. The fuck does that even mean?
Always looking for great insights thank you! I’ll be sharing with my friends and followers!
thank you! 😘
I’m very fem but I also only recently came to terms with my sexuality. I think because I didn’t fit in with a lot of these stereotypes, that it was harder to accept that I was gay. Thank you for this 🙏🏽😘
I don't know, but I always imagine you guys speaking in Brazilian Portuguese, you both look like so Brazilians hahaha!!!
True, they totally do haha
yeh but what if you are 14 and most of people haven’t done their coming out and don’t assume their sexuality 😭😭
You’re so cute!! When you were talking about flirting and Alexis was watching Lilian talk and just had to kiss her mid-sentence lol so sweet
Wow...as someone who is not obviously gay and also likes guys...I really feel for my girlfriend before we started dating. She had absolutely no clue... even though it was painfully obvious I liked her. Literally almost everyone we knew would ask us if we were dating.
Eternal thanks to the young gay boy who dared her to talk to me about it! Because I’m not brave.
Lesson of hope: you might think there’s no way you’re crush is gay! But there is always a chance.
Dude.. I swear to God it always works. Just ask the girl something like "did you go the pride?" something like that. Or just in general act like you're talking about gay people with your friend and then ask them some questions like what do they think. But like if they don't really wanna "come out" to you then it's okay. Just try to make them feel like hey, I'm gay too
Me be like
"you watched hayley kiyoko?"
"Yeah."
"What's your fave songs?"
"What I need and curious."
"ummm, same"
😏❤️
Alexis' hair is awesome!😍😍
Alexis is so adorable! And Lilian is so funny! I'm dying to know their MBTI types.
What is mbti
Thanks
"a fem lesbian or a fem bi girl... i have one right here, very nice edition" yall when i say i cried
I’m bi but I just got to say something
THEY ARE SO CUTE 🤧
🤣🤣 TH-cam brought me here to this wonderful video and I’m glad it did. I work in fitness and I’m big into female empowerment purely bc life is short and we all just need to go for whatever it is we dream of...so people assume a lot of things about me. I have been on the receiving end of these questions and tactics MANY times 🤣 but I also wear a lotta plaid 🤔🤔🤔
I really like your show. Much of your advice is applicable for anyone.
Those were actually super helpful tips! Doesn't happen that often on TH-cam, so thank you! 😊
One time I asked a girl if she listened to Girl in Red while I was cuffing my jeans and waited for a reaction to that
What did she say?
Thank you Alexis and Lilian! I'm a baby lesbian, just came out to myself and to friends and now family and your videos really help me with gaining some knowledge about how to navigate these waters that are so unfamiliar to me :) Sending love from Belgium