Seriously thank you so much. I'm 23, and last month I randomly stumbled onto a FTM timeline video, and then I binge watched videos for a week, and I just knew. I've since started socially transitioning, and sometimes I feel like I am taking it too fast and making other people uncomfortable, but I feel the same way you did. I know who I am and what I want now, and I don't want to wait any longer to be myself.
I just realized at 30, that I might be trans. I'm actually quite sure, but sometimes my brain is just not helpful because I start thinking that it can't be true and that I'm imagining things - which everyone I'm out to, tells me, I'm not...Videos like yours help me a lot to figure things out. So, thank you. :)
Not your decision. It often comes down to either transitioning, or killing themselves, for many people. And I don't even want to know which one you would prefer them to do!
Joe Kehoe You're the one making fun of people, when people literally kill themselves for being trans. Like a friend of mine said, "If I don't think of myself as male, I don't want to live. It would just be making excuses every day to live with all this pain." You may not realize it, but you actually just told him to kill himself. I see who the sick fuck here is, and it is NOT him!
+Joe Kehoe fuck off dude. like for real. we're not affecting your life in any way by transitioning. we're just making our lives happier. so if you don't like it, just ignore it, don't create drama okay?
LIKE for real dude you arent transitioning it is impossible lol and i dont give a fuck about your life....we cant ignore it because you do affect us when you walk into the LADIES lockers or restroom pervert
You made this video years ago, but I'm watching it today and kind of sitting in awe. I didn't think it was ok to find out this late (I'm 25). I felt like I lost time for not realizing it, or knowing how to find myself. Maybe I just never lived in that environment. Anyways, you described some of the biggest fears I had, and also some of the same habits that I had. Thank you for posting. [:
Hey, thank you so much for telling us how you found out about being transgender. I'm also 23 now, soon to be 24, and since recently the signs have become clearer and clearer that I am MtF. In my case though, I have been aware I've had some sort of gender issues since early childhood, but I never found the courage to put the bits and pieces together out of fear. I was downright beaten into my supposed role by my mother.
this really resonates with me. I kind of grew up the same way, where gender wasn't even really a thing at all, and I just could do what I wanted, it wasn't so separate as "boy" things and "girl" things, and now I'm understanding myself and I'm now identifying as trans, FtM, and I'm working on coming out but it's really difficult to explain, because I can barely understand myself enough to put it in words. you're really inspiring to me though, and I feel like I can relate to you much more than other transmen that I'm inspired by. you're amazing. This video is fantastic.
I am sixteen now and I recently realised that I was probably trans. I've seen all these videos of guys saying they always knew or guys my age that are already on T or will soon have top surgery and it's nice to see that I'm not the only one who hasn't always knew. Thanks
Yes, I feel ya brother. I share a very similar story. I could connect behaviors to my childhood and little childhood wishes I used to make now-a-days. But once I realized those wishes were never going to happen I just accepted it, I was going to live a life as a female because that's how I was brought into this world and there was nothing I could do about it. So I thought at least lol I was about 20, 21 yrs old when I started practicing meditation, after a really good session of meditating I had this huge urge to just TH-cam transgender and I spent the next three days, day and night with breaks of going to work watching these videos and by day three, I'll never forget I finished a video and just bawled and said that's what it is. That's what makes sense, these life's, these changes can happen and it's a part of me. To this day I'll never really know why that urge came to be to look up transgender on TH-cam, but I'm very thankful I did because I would've never known.
This video is like watching a video of myself. Your story is almost the same as mine ;~; Thank you Aydian for helping me realize that I am trans, I aspire to be just like you after my transition :3
I just stumbled upon this video. It has made me feel so much better that I am not the only one who didn't really know about the trans community. I came to my mom when I was 10 because she asked me straight out if I liked girls. And I was like and then it was just kinda like okay I'm a butch lesbian. After discovering trans watching videos on TH-cam has helped me a lot to discover why I always felt like something was missing. So thanks for posting this video and contributing to helping...
It's so crazy you say what you do in this video because I discovered pretty much the same way but at 30.. wish i found out sooner but better late than never! Thanks for sharing your videos :)
I fucking love your videos, I'm 18 and questioning whether I'm trans and your videos are so great and so helpful. My mum asked me recently "why do you have to wear guys clothing" it really hurt my feelings
thank you so much for sharing all this, this is exactly what I've experienced. I'm 16, and I was always the 'tomboy,' even though I loved Hannah Montana and pink everything, and when I found out I was lesbian that was all cool, but a few months ago I saw something online and got wondering... It's been really difficult since then trying to decide if that's what I want, but last month I got my hair cut short for the first time, something I'd always wanted to do, and even though I was fine with long hair, as soon as I had the short cut it felt so much better, and I'm never growing it out again. But it's made things far more solid for me, that perhaps being a guy will feel that much better too. Thank you for helping me and so many others make sense of all this.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! I began watching one video and then from there , your video, this video was suggested. Thank you for being transparent and sharing your story.
I loved this video, listening to you talk was so amazing. Like i saw myself in your story. Like just 4 months ago i discovered and learned what being trans was and like you said watching youtube videos really helped me capture who i really am it clicked for me and i now identify as trans. ive been really down and confused, i watch all these guys that knew they were trans from like age 3 and seeing this video doesnt make me feel down anymore, cause i know that im not the only one. Thank You:]
Wow..thank you soooo much for posting this man...Im Romeo and Im 21 and just realized that Im trans...your story is sooo similar to mine in sooo many ways I cant even explain...you just gave me the reassurance that I needed that there are other transguys out there that went most of their life not knowing they were trans...I found out the same exact way you did lol..I cant thank you enough for this post man..you look great by the way, keep doing what you do.
Its like you're telling my story. Pretty simular childhood except the fact that I had some responsibilities as a "girl" , babysitting younger siblings and help cleaning at home. I first found out I was transgender when I was 26 even though I have been living my whole life without defining myself as any gender and looking and acting like a boy. I've known it all my life without knowing it. Strange.
You are very lucky to have a family that is open-minded and accepting of who you are. I discovered I was trans through watching youtube videos too. I've known I am trans for over 2 years now, but I fear disappointing my family if I transition. It's a difficult place to be in when you are trying to choose between being happy or making your family happy
Alot of this reminded me of myself. I remember having my little pink bike but I'd always use my brothers red mongoose instead. (I still do.) It helped to know I'm not the only one that was clueless about being trans at first.
Honestly you are soooo dope. I spent all morning watching all your vids and I am completely inspired by your story (and I am a straight, married. 37 y/o female with kids etc etc) so I'm not looking to you for guidance, just think you are rad...not to mention HOT. :) Keep up the good work, you are awesome.
This video helped me so so much! I'm a 15 year old girl but I just don't think I'm a girl , I'm sure I'm a trans male and I've been looking into it and it hasn't been the first time I thought I was a trans either but I think I'm sure now, I asked my dad if I can go see a gender therapist so I can being to see if it's official that I am :)
I had a very, very similar journey...i may just have to make a response video to this! literally, same life. hahaha I'm glad you made this...shows that people's experiences aren't always so different and we aren't alone in this.
Thank you for this video. And thank you to everyone who commented that they didn't know very early on either. You guys are providing the very powerful gift of Hope. A most sincere ThankYou to you all.
I grew up similar to you, I was allowed to dress how I wanted and be myself, but I knew what gay and Trans was but due to PTSD I hid it from myself. I'm about a decade behind you in figuring it out, despite obvious signs, but hey I know now!
amen to the accepting household thing. i remember (since my parents never actually got together) that it was most of the time me and my mom most of the time at Grandmas, and me and my dad on the weekend at my Nana's house. I think some of my issues also come from some kindergarten trauma (friend showing his thing at lunch, and accidentally walking in on a girl friend while she was peein) the vid is very informal and helpful :) it reminded me of my life a bit to be honest cause Im not really into guy stuff like sports or whatever and Im more artsy and stuff and can do what the stereotypical housewife does. perfect example is when I went to my first convention and saw a crochet stand (made friends with the girl) and mentioned something bout it and her reply was "OMG You crochet? You are the ONLY guy I know who does it, or even really know what it is"
Man, almost sounds like my story, though a few differences. I was about 22 I think, saw myself as a tomboy before that. Didn't have any brothers, just a younger sister but most the neighborhood kids I played with were boys. While there was some pressure form my parents, but there was also a lot of times they kinda gave up on trying to pressure me with my mother being the most lenient. I found out after meeting a gay friend... and I;d had times in past where struggled with figuring out why felt that way but it was that which it hit me most and it came to mind to actually look up on it online to see if there was others who felt the same and why. Am glad to see this video, nice to know not the only one out there who didn't know what trans was or that I am trans that early.
Same :P I live most my childhood just thinking I was tomboy. Dressed boy-ish and played with "boy" toys then realizing I liked girls. I started to accept that I was a more masculine type person. but things still never really felt right. and now am still learning to accept that I'm trans. because I'm kinda new to this stuff.
I feel you. Im 19 now and just now started questioning wether im trans. I was raised completely without gender stereotypes. I could do whatever I wanted and never had to hear 'but girls dont do that'. Maybe if I had been raised differently i wouldve found out sooner...
It is so good to hear someone be straight up and honest about not knowing they were trans... i didnt know until i was 22 (a year ago) it just did not cross my mind because i just did whetever the hell i wanted haahaa
I didn’t know I was trans either. I often find myself hating myself because so many trans people knew that they were trans at such a young age. I ended up telling myself I’m a stupid awful faker and this helped me realize how awful I’ve been to myself. Thanks for making this video. It helped so much.
I don't care much about gender. I'm dfab but idk it just doesn't matter to me. People at school joke about me being like a man and stuff thinking it hurts me but it really doesn't. Like I feel I'm a man just as much as I do a woman.
Hey so are you still selling those shirts? I will totally buy one if you are, I would love to get one in black though and that doesnt have the V neck. It would be amazing if I could get one especially since I am starting T in a week or more.
Your story is very similar to mine. The only girl in a family full of boys, and I would fight with all my cousins. And, man, I so had a mongoose xD best bikes every. Sadly I wasn't allowed to do sports as my father had a clear idea of what a girl should be like, and sports was not included. Anywho, its only recently (23 now) that I've come to realize that I am transgender and it is nice to know I'm not the only one that didn't always know.
You pretty much explain me to a T hehe legit i am the same way i had no idea i just always felt something was off im 22 and i JUST realized this year that im not just a manly lesbian. when i discovered T therapy online just like you i was like oh my goodness thats it! thats the missing thing i couldnt figure out! your a brave individual nad while im EXTREMELY scared of transition i hope watching videos like yours will help me out on my way :)
As someone who is 29 I totally resonate. I came out as gay and realized I was trans later on. I have social transitioned and I finally get to start my tea this coming fall. Thank you for expressing this, it is super validating & I have learned there is never a wrong time to be fully authentic & true. Thank you my friend ❤️ I look forward to exploring your channel more. This is my first video. :)
our stories are very similar. i didn't know what the hell transgender was. i have very consistently wanted to do a lot of "boy things" and then it eventually became clear at 21 that I just wanted to be a boy...oh and i liked n'sync too. haha
Who is the man? Yooou are the maaan! Yeeah!! I fucking love you! Your story, my story is the same!!! Same age, same way (youtube). I'm excited and happy and yeah Now I'm not alone.
I'm not sure if I'm trans, but think that I'm at least somewhere on the non binary spectrum. Looking back, maybe it wasn't too common for a little boy to LOVE those Little Mermaid and Beauty and the beast so much. Relating (or wanting to relate in ways) to Belle, Ariel, and the mermaid sisters. Growing up, I wasn't that into sports. In little league, it would hurt my hands to hit a pitch, and I primarily wore a starter jackets because of the color scheme or that I liked the Mighty Ducks movies. While attracted to females, I also always felt more comfortable around them. When I developed an interest in music, it was more about 90's Top 40's, which was different from the Rage Against the Machine and other such alternative bands that boys in my class listened to. Primarily I liked the singer songwriters and some pop. I really enjoyed No Doubt's Tragic Kingdom and Return of Saturn. When everyone else in school was putting pop culture cut-outs in their locker, I had a clipping that reviewed a No Doubt concert. My brother had already vandalized the clipping, highlighting a sentence generally describing the concertgoers as "teenage girls." I knew that if I was to publicly say that I listened to Spice Girls I would be the school laughing stock, and if I posted a really hot pic of Emma Bunton in this dark purple mini skirt, I could get detention for a week. Of a small group of male friends, one (who was dealing with his own closeted issues) called me a "dyke," and I don't think that my mom expected to be asked what that meant. In puberty, there were times when I related so little to male classmates that I wondered if developments mentioned in 7th Heaven are more the type of thing I should somehow expect. On top of all that, I was an undiagnosed Aspie on the cusp of passing behaviorally as a nonsocial awkward teen who didn't apply himself. I rebelled against the idea of only temporarily storing information for Friday quizzes and binging for exams, which led to me being treated for misdiagnosed ADHD for a few months, becoming a social outcast, and having maybe the worst grades in my class. A classmate I had been crushing on for 9 years asked me to dance one night, and thinking that this really nice and popular girl was just being sympathetic, I declined. It turned out that she was actually interested. I then went to an all boys high school that emphasized a macho athletic image (to the point where people joke that the school's overcompensating for something). While I had some friends and some favorite classes (and got much better at schoolwork), high school was generally hell for me. My parents gotten increasingly controlling (I was a teen barred from watching Dawson's Creek and Popular because my dad heard them use euphemisms). Restrictions got even more extreme, and at school I was bullied by at least 20 people from my class and a teacher who nicknamed me "Columbine Kenny" because my face reminded him of Dylan Klebold. Art (including my high school job painting murals and youth classes at a local college), comics, movies, TV (without cable, I followed a second Shojo cartoon along with some more mainstream shows, along with weekend shows like Xena, TGIF, Saturday morning cartoons, Mutant X, and Cleopatra 2525) and some music were my limited releases. I remember how I quickly became a fan of the Josie & the Pussycats movie and my O'Keefe style floral art actually got one of my pieces censored at school. Non-flowering flora wasn't masculine enough for a St. Francis of Assisi banner. I got back at the system with a piece about a sensual French kiss me and my then girlfriend had. It was so close-cropped that a picture of two tongues made it's way into the school art show. I would often get bullied and harassed for not fitting in. There were classes where anytime I tried focusing on the lesson, a network of classmates would quietly hide my backpack somewhere in the classroom. One of those classmates stalked me through college. I had to repaint a mural portion when classmates said that pinfeathers of an eagle looked phallic They're long, slender, and curved at the end. File your complaints with Mother Nature.), one classmate cornered me and started dancing while singing some alternative song about doing it like on the "Animal Channel," I was cyber bullied by people somehow IM'ing me with an account that mirrored my screen name andy time I went online, and one classmate asked me if I wanted him to give me a "golden shower" and described it in detail. Especially in an all boys school, talking to faculty only makes matters worse, and even expelled students would return to school dances as the guests of friends. I saw my art as the one ticket to get me 6 hours away from home when it came to college, I still didn't fit in too much socially, but at least it was coed. I read unassigned chapters in my Human Sexuality textbook, and wondered if I possibly I had one of the chromosomal abnormalities like XYX people. about four times during those years, I had pains that began with stomach cramps, moved to the groin and led to migraines where for spells of time, I could only see lights and shadows. An older woman I worked with said that maybe it was menstrual, and I awkwardly responded "Yeah, maybe.". Having absolutely no luck asking women out, I started wondering if I was bisexual. While I wasn't comfortable with the idea of sexual intimacy with a man, I was a hopeless romantic Aspie who could only recognize the less subtle signals that men generally sent. Besides, after working with live models, I saw any gender as potentially attractive physically. In 2008, I had a pseudo-relationship with a young woman I worked with. It never got physical, there was so much chemistry when we talked. I like dominant women, and her pet name for me was "my little bitch." She asked to see a picture of me as a baby, and would talk dirty in Greek to me when were on the sales floor. I had thick shoulder length hair at the time, and she convinced me to go to a nice salon for a hair cut. Normally, getting a large (or larger) of hair taken off leaves me feeling well groomed, but also like a shorn sheep. I liked feeling pampered at the salon, and I developed a great raport with my hairstylist for the next few years. Years later, that woman's mom would still would ask me to get back together again with her daughter. Entirely single again, and working at a different store, I was often too nervous when women may occasionally seem to flirt, and I was asked out by men a few times (one is still a good friend of mine. I started going to therapy with someone who specialized in Asperger's and LGBT identity, and her definitive question about bisexuality was if I'd be comfortable with having sex with a man. No. A gay coworker who sent me a drunken booty call on Facebook debated with for hours on why I'm not interested in men, and jokingly deduced in the end that maybe I'm "a lesbian in a man's body." Having been attracted to some out women before, Ir responded saying that stranger things have happened. There's been a continuing theme where my therapist thinks that I have a stronger feminine side than most men she knows. After one more of my vision distorting migraines, I found out that I had a pair of inguinal hernias, and part of my intestine would occasionally slip into the scrotum, pressing against one of the testicles. It's a risky procedure, so Only the small hernia wasn't repaired. Many years later, and after reading a GQ article about a Navy SEAL who transitioned I started exploring my feminine side further. Watching TH-camrs like Lexi, Zoella, and Niomi Smart gets me comfortably in touch with my feminine side. On Second Life, I regularly switch the avatar genders (with a fluidity and lack of permanence that transition in real life would have). An Aussie lesbian veteran who I've met has suggested that maybe I already have high levels of estrogen for a man who's not yet at the point where andropause would start. There's conflicting arguments that I get from some friends. Gay guys who say that I'm overcomplicating things and should just declare myself a effeminate gay, and third wave feminists who while broadly supporting LGBT's as minorities, say that feeling you fit in more with traits attributed to another gender is just you promoting preconceived misogynist stereotypes. I still continue to explore my personal identity, but felt compelled to share my story.
I have NO idea how I got here from eye surgery. LOL! But Wow! I had no idea you were originally born as a female physically. Great transition. Anyway...best of luck!
YOU LOOK GREAT DUDE JUS LIKE A GUY thats great im also trapped in a girls body only 17 I hopebi will get the oppurtunity to change but you money...... but are you feom NYC? cause I am and I woild like to meet you if . U woild want . To never met someone likebme but you look great bro!!!!
You look like a man but still sound somewhat like a woman. what i dont understand is that why are we so mess up? male born with female body. female born with male body. like nature totally screw up?
This video helped me so so much! I'm a 15 year old girl but I just don't think I'm a girl , I'm sure I'm a trans male and I've been looking into it and it hasn't been the first time I thought I was a trans either but I think I'm sure now, I asked my dad if I can go see a gender therapist so I can being to see if it's official that I am :)
Seriously thank you so much. I'm 23, and last month I randomly stumbled onto a FTM timeline video, and then I binge watched videos for a week, and I just knew. I've since started socially transitioning, and sometimes I feel like I am taking it too fast and making other people uncomfortable, but I feel the same way you did. I know who I am and what I want now, and I don't want to wait any longer to be myself.
instablaster...
I just realized at 30, that I might be trans. I'm actually quite sure, but sometimes my brain is just not helpful because I start thinking that it can't be true and that I'm imagining things - which everyone I'm out to, tells me, I'm not...Videos like yours help me a lot to figure things out. So, thank you. :)
I know this video is old but it is exactly what I needed. Im starting my transition at 22
Not your decision. It often comes down to either transitioning, or killing themselves, for many people. And I don't even want to know which one you would prefer them to do!
rotfl no you arent lol what do you think you are transitioning into? not the other gender since that is medically impossible you sick fuck
Joe Kehoe
You're the one making fun of people, when people literally kill themselves for being trans. Like a friend of mine said, "If I don't think of myself as male, I don't want to live. It would just be making excuses every day to live with all this pain." You may not realize it, but you actually just told him to kill himself.
I see who the sick fuck here is, and it is NOT him!
+Joe Kehoe fuck off dude. like for real. we're not affecting your life in any way by transitioning. we're just making our lives happier. so if you don't like it, just ignore it, don't create drama okay?
LIKE for real dude you arent transitioning it is impossible lol and i dont give a fuck about your life....we cant ignore it because you do affect us when you walk into the LADIES lockers or restroom pervert
You are exactly like me. I didn't know either. Blind sided my entire family and myself. Thank you for uploading this. I feel better now.
You made this video years ago, but I'm watching it today and kind of sitting in awe. I didn't think it was ok to find out this late (I'm 25). I felt like I lost time for not realizing it, or knowing how to find myself. Maybe I just never lived in that environment. Anyways, you described some of the biggest fears I had, and also some of the same habits that I had. Thank you for posting. [:
Hey, thank you so much for telling us how you found out about being transgender. I'm also 23 now, soon to be 24, and since recently the signs have become clearer and clearer that I am MtF. In my case though, I have been aware I've had some sort of gender issues since early childhood, but I never found the courage to put the bits and pieces together out of fear. I was downright beaten into my supposed role by my mother.
this really resonates with me. I kind of grew up the same way, where gender wasn't even really a thing at all, and I just could do what I wanted, it wasn't so separate as "boy" things and "girl" things, and now I'm understanding myself and I'm now identifying as trans, FtM, and I'm working on coming out but it's really difficult to explain, because I can barely understand myself enough to put it in words. you're really inspiring to me though, and I feel like I can relate to you much more than other transmen that I'm inspired by. you're amazing. This video is fantastic.
I am sixteen now and I recently realised that I was probably trans. I've seen all these videos of guys saying they always knew or guys my age that are already on T or will soon have top surgery and it's nice to see that I'm not the only one who hasn't always knew. Thanks
Yes, I feel ya brother. I share a very similar story. I could connect behaviors to my childhood and little childhood wishes I used to make now-a-days. But once I realized those wishes were never going to happen I just accepted it, I was going to live a life as a female because that's how I was brought into this world and there was nothing I could do about it. So I thought at least lol I was about 20, 21 yrs old when I started practicing meditation, after a really good session of meditating I had this huge urge to just TH-cam transgender and I spent the next three days, day and night with breaks of going to work watching these videos and by day three, I'll never forget I finished a video and just bawled and said that's what it is. That's what makes sense, these life's, these changes can happen and it's a part of me. To this day I'll never really know why that urge came to be to look up transgender on TH-cam, but I'm very thankful I did because I would've never known.
This sounds so similar to what I'm going through right now. Thank you so much.
This video is like watching a video of myself. Your story is almost the same as mine ;~; Thank you Aydian for helping me realize that I am trans, I aspire to be just like you after my transition :3
I just stumbled upon this video. It has made me feel so much better that I am not the only one who didn't really know about the trans community. I came to my mom when I was 10 because she asked me straight out if I liked girls. And I was like and then it was just kinda like okay I'm a butch lesbian. After discovering trans watching videos on TH-cam has helped me a lot to discover why I always felt like something was missing. So thanks for posting this video and contributing to helping...
It's so crazy you say what you do in this video because I discovered pretty much the same way but at 30.. wish i found out sooner but better late than never! Thanks for sharing your videos :)
I fucking love your videos, I'm 18 and questioning whether I'm trans and your videos are so great and so helpful. My mum asked me recently "why do you have to wear guys clothing" it really hurt my feelings
You're a constant inspiration, Aydian. Thank you for always being so honest and open with us.
thank you so much for sharing all this, this is exactly what I've experienced. I'm 16, and I was always the 'tomboy,' even though I loved Hannah Montana and pink everything, and when I found out I was lesbian that was all cool, but a few months ago I saw something online and got wondering... It's been really difficult since then trying to decide if that's what I want, but last month I got my hair cut short for the first time, something I'd always wanted to do, and even though I was fine with long hair, as soon as I had the short cut it felt so much better, and I'm never growing it out again. But it's made things far more solid for me, that perhaps being a guy will feel that much better too. Thank you for helping me and so many others make sense of all this.
it's great to hear you talk about it in a sort of lighthearted way, thanks for telling the story!
This was perfect. Exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! I began watching one video and then from there , your video, this video was suggested. Thank you for being transparent and sharing your story.
I loved this video, listening to you talk was so amazing. Like i saw myself in your story. Like just 4 months ago i discovered and learned what being trans was and like you said watching youtube videos really helped me capture who i really am it clicked for me and i now identify as trans. ive been really down and confused, i watch all these guys that knew they were trans from like age 3 and seeing this video doesnt make me feel down anymore, cause i know that im not the only one. Thank You:]
Wow..thank you soooo much for posting this man...Im Romeo and Im 21 and just realized that Im trans...your story is sooo similar to mine in sooo many ways I cant even explain...you just gave me the reassurance that I needed that there are other transguys out there that went most of their life not knowing they were trans...I found out the same exact way you did lol..I cant thank you enough for this post man..you look great by the way, keep doing what you do.
Its like you're telling my story. Pretty simular childhood except the fact that I had some responsibilities as a "girl" , babysitting younger siblings and help cleaning at home. I first found out I was transgender when I was 26 even though I have been living my whole life without defining myself as any gender and looking and acting like a boy. I've known it all my life without knowing it. Strange.
That's exactly how it was for me too man. I didn't know until I was in college. And I started transition at 23. I'll be a year on T come August.
You are very lucky to have a family that is open-minded and accepting of who you are. I discovered I was trans through watching youtube videos too. I've known I am trans for over 2 years now, but I fear disappointing my family if I transition. It's a difficult place to be in when you are trying to choose between being happy or making your family happy
Alot of this reminded me of myself. I remember having my little pink bike but I'd always use my brothers red mongoose instead. (I still do.) It helped to know I'm not the only one that was clueless about being trans at first.
Honestly you are soooo dope. I spent all morning watching all your vids and I am completely inspired by your story (and I am a straight, married. 37 y/o female with kids etc etc) so I'm not looking to you for guidance, just think you are rad...not to mention HOT. :) Keep up the good work, you are awesome.
dude, I am so glad you shared this. You said quite a few things that we have in common.
Just bought some shirt from you! Love them and thanks for providing a way to feel proud while in stealth.
You are me, and I am you.
Thank you so much for this video
Damn that was like listening to everything going on in my head right now. Cheers!
Dude, I totally identify with this. Thank you so much for posting this video.
This video helped me so so much! I'm a 15 year old girl but I just don't think I'm a girl , I'm sure I'm a trans male and I've been looking into it and it hasn't been the first time I thought I was a trans either but I think I'm sure now, I asked my dad if I can go see a gender therapist so I can being to see if it's official that I am :)
I could listen to you talk all day, You're one of my heros. :)
You are just freaking amazing. You give me hope that it does get better!
I had a very, very similar journey...i may just have to make a response video to this! literally, same life. hahaha I'm glad you made this...shows that people's experiences aren't always so different and we aren't alone in this.
THANK U SO MUCH FOR THIS!
Thank you for this video. And thank you to everyone who commented that they didn't know very early on either. You guys are providing the very powerful gift of Hope. A most sincere ThankYou to you all.
I grew up similar to you, I was allowed to dress how I wanted and be myself, but I knew what gay and Trans was but due to PTSD I hid it from myself. I'm about a decade behind you in figuring it out, despite obvious signs, but hey I know now!
amen to the accepting household thing. i remember (since my parents never actually got together) that it was most of the time me and my mom most of the time at Grandmas, and me and my dad on the weekend at my Nana's house. I think some of my issues also come from some kindergarten trauma (friend showing his thing at lunch, and accidentally walking in on a girl friend while she was peein) the vid is very informal and helpful :) it reminded me of my life a bit to be honest cause Im not really into guy stuff like sports or whatever and Im more artsy and stuff and can do what the stereotypical housewife does. perfect example is when I went to my first convention and saw a crochet stand (made friends with the girl) and mentioned something bout it and her reply was "OMG You crochet? You are the ONLY guy I know who does it, or even really know what it is"
It's like you described my story verbatim. Thank you for sharing, truly.
Man, almost sounds like my story, though a few differences. I was about 22 I think, saw myself as a tomboy before that. Didn't have any brothers, just a younger sister but most the neighborhood kids I played with were boys. While there was some pressure form my parents, but there was also a lot of times they kinda gave up on trying to pressure me with my mother being the most lenient. I found out after meeting a gay friend... and I;d had times in past where struggled with figuring out why felt that way but it was that which it hit me most and it came to mind to actually look up on it online to see if there was others who felt the same and why. Am glad to see this video, nice to know not the only one out there who didn't know what trans was or that I am trans that early.
Same :P I live most my childhood just thinking I was tomboy. Dressed boy-ish and played with "boy" toys then realizing I liked girls. I started to accept that I was a more masculine type person. but things still never really felt right. and now am still learning to accept that I'm trans. because I'm kinda new to this stuff.
I feel you. Im 19 now and just now started questioning wether im trans. I was raised completely without gender stereotypes. I could do whatever I wanted and never had to hear 'but girls dont do that'.
Maybe if I had been raised differently i wouldve found out sooner...
good video man..we have very very similar stories and backgrounds it seems. You are also looking pretty big man
It is so good to hear someone be straight up and honest about not knowing they were trans... i didnt know until i was 22 (a year ago) it just did not cross my mind because i just did whetever the hell i wanted haahaa
I didn’t know I was trans either. I often find myself hating myself because so many trans people knew that they were trans at such a young age. I ended up telling myself I’m a stupid awful faker and this helped me realize how awful I’ve been to myself. Thanks for making this video. It helped so much.
I had a VERY similar experience of discovering about being trans. Of course I am a few years older than you. I love your videos, nice job.
I think I want to show my mom this video. I feel like you're telling my story. I'm pre T so it'll prolly help with coming out
Great video, I can totally relate. I had an awesome starter jacket too lol and I got a bike with pegs. Oh, and I loved Nsync too haha
you are just inspiring ;)
good luck
I don't care much about gender. I'm dfab but idk it just doesn't matter to me. People at school joke about me being like a man and stuff thinking it hurts me but it really doesn't. Like I feel I'm a man just as much as I do a woman.
Holy hell man, this is exactly how I figured it all out too. All hail TH-cam right?! Haha
Hey so are you still selling those shirts? I will totally buy one if you are, I would love to get one in black though and that doesnt have the V neck. It would be amazing if I could get one especially since I am starting T in a week or more.
Feeling you on the Mongoose! I finally have one :)
Your story is very similar to mine. The only girl in a family full of boys, and I would fight with all my cousins. And, man, I so had a mongoose xD best bikes every. Sadly I wasn't allowed to do sports as my father had a clear idea of what a girl should be like, and sports was not included.
Anywho, its only recently (23 now) that I've come to realize that I am transgender and it is nice to know I'm not the only one that didn't always know.
So brave of you to put this out there. And just saying, I'm an old married lady with kids, but you are a hottie.
You pretty much explain me to a T hehe legit i am the same way i had no idea i just always felt something was off im 22 and i JUST realized this year that im not just a manly lesbian. when i discovered T therapy online just like you i was like oh my goodness thats it! thats the missing thing i couldnt figure out! your a brave individual nad while im EXTREMELY scared of transition i hope watching videos like yours will help me out on my way :)
Same here. I also discovered it when I was 21 and I am starting hormones at age 23 haha.
Yeah ..ITS a very common question .. I have heard it often myself ..
Thank you for this video it really helps :')
As someone who is 29 I totally resonate. I came out as gay and realized I was trans later on. I have social transitioned and I finally get to start my tea this coming fall. Thank you for expressing this, it is super validating & I have learned there is never a wrong time to be fully authentic & true. Thank you my friend ❤️ I look forward to exploring your channel more. This is my first video. :)
My life story. Minus the transition part. Still debating that, : /
thank you
our stories are very similar. i didn't know what the hell transgender was. i have very consistently wanted to do a lot of "boy things" and then it eventually became clear at 21 that I just wanted to be a boy...oh and i liked n'sync too. haha
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Thanks!!
yay youtube as a support group! LOL :-D
Who is the man? Yooou are the maaan! Yeeah!! I fucking love you! Your story, my story is the same!!! Same age, same way (youtube). I'm excited and happy and yeah Now I'm not alone.
Can you make a video basically my question is, do i really have to work out in order to get my whole body toned?
God you are amazingly handsome....you FTMs are always better looking than us biological males-heheh! Best wishes to you bro.
I'm not sure if I'm trans, but think that I'm at least somewhere on the non binary spectrum. Looking back, maybe it wasn't too common for a little boy to LOVE those Little Mermaid and Beauty and the beast so much. Relating (or wanting to relate in ways) to Belle, Ariel, and the mermaid sisters. Growing up, I wasn't that into sports. In little league, it would hurt my hands to hit a pitch, and I primarily wore a starter jackets because of the color scheme or that I liked the Mighty Ducks movies. While attracted to females, I also always felt more comfortable around them. When I developed an interest in music, it was more about 90's Top 40's, which was different from the Rage Against the Machine and other such alternative bands that boys in my class listened to. Primarily I liked the singer songwriters and some pop. I really enjoyed No Doubt's Tragic Kingdom and Return of Saturn. When everyone else in school was putting pop culture cut-outs in their locker, I had a clipping that reviewed a No Doubt concert. My brother had already vandalized the clipping, highlighting a sentence generally describing the concertgoers as "teenage girls." I knew that if I was to publicly say that I listened to Spice Girls I would be the school laughing stock, and if I posted a really hot pic of Emma Bunton in this dark purple mini skirt, I could get detention for a week. Of a small group of male friends, one (who was dealing with his own closeted issues) called me a "dyke," and I don't think that my mom expected to be asked what that meant. In puberty, there were times when I related so little to male classmates that I wondered if developments mentioned in 7th Heaven are more the type of thing I should somehow expect.
On top of all that, I was an undiagnosed Aspie on the cusp of passing behaviorally as a nonsocial awkward teen who didn't apply himself. I rebelled against the idea of only temporarily storing information for Friday quizzes and binging for exams, which led to me being treated for misdiagnosed ADHD for a few months, becoming a social outcast, and having maybe the worst grades in my class. A classmate I had been crushing on for 9 years asked me to dance one night, and thinking that this really nice and popular girl was just being sympathetic, I declined. It turned out that she was actually interested.
I then went to an all boys high school that emphasized a macho athletic image (to the point where people joke that the school's overcompensating for something). While I had some friends and some favorite classes (and got much better at schoolwork), high school was generally hell for me. My parents gotten increasingly controlling (I was a teen barred from watching Dawson's Creek and Popular because my dad heard them use euphemisms). Restrictions got even more extreme, and at school I was bullied by at least 20 people from my class and a teacher who nicknamed me "Columbine Kenny" because my face reminded him of Dylan Klebold. Art (including my high school job painting murals and youth classes at a local college), comics, movies, TV (without cable, I followed a second Shojo cartoon along with some more mainstream shows, along with weekend shows like Xena, TGIF, Saturday morning cartoons, Mutant X, and Cleopatra 2525) and some music were my limited releases. I remember how I quickly became a fan of the Josie & the Pussycats movie and my O'Keefe style floral art actually got one of my pieces censored at school. Non-flowering flora wasn't masculine enough for a St. Francis of Assisi banner. I got back at the system with a piece about a sensual French kiss me and my then girlfriend had. It was so close-cropped that a picture of two tongues made it's way into the school art show.
I would often get bullied and harassed for not fitting in. There were classes where anytime I tried focusing on the lesson, a network of classmates would quietly hide my backpack somewhere in the classroom. One of those classmates stalked me through college. I had to repaint a mural portion when classmates said that pinfeathers of an eagle looked phallic They're long, slender, and curved at the end. File your complaints with Mother Nature.), one classmate cornered me and started dancing while singing some alternative song about doing it like on the "Animal Channel," I was cyber bullied by people somehow IM'ing me with an account that mirrored my screen name andy time I went online, and one classmate asked me if I wanted him to give me a "golden shower" and described it in detail. Especially in an all boys school, talking to faculty only makes matters worse, and even expelled students would return to school dances as the guests of friends.
I saw my art as the one ticket to get me 6 hours away from home when it came to college, I still didn't fit in too much socially, but at least it was coed. I read unassigned chapters in my Human Sexuality textbook, and wondered if I possibly I had one of the chromosomal abnormalities like XYX people. about four times during those years, I had pains that began with stomach cramps, moved to the groin and led to migraines where for spells of time, I could only see lights and shadows. An older woman I worked with said that maybe it was menstrual, and I awkwardly responded "Yeah, maybe.". Having absolutely no luck asking women out, I started wondering if I was bisexual. While I wasn't comfortable with the idea of sexual intimacy with a man, I was a hopeless romantic Aspie who could only recognize the less subtle signals that men generally sent. Besides, after working with live models, I saw any gender as potentially attractive physically.
In 2008, I had a pseudo-relationship with a young woman I worked with. It never got physical, there was so much chemistry when we talked. I like dominant women, and her pet name for me was "my little bitch." She asked to see a picture of me as a baby, and would talk dirty in Greek to me when were on the sales floor. I had thick shoulder length hair at the time, and she convinced me to go to a nice salon for a hair cut. Normally, getting a large (or larger) of hair taken off leaves me feeling well groomed, but also like a shorn sheep. I liked feeling pampered at the salon, and I developed a great raport with my hairstylist for the next few years. Years later, that woman's mom would still would ask me to get back together again with her daughter.
Entirely single again, and working at a different store, I was often too nervous when women may occasionally seem to flirt, and I was asked out by men a few times (one is still a good friend of mine. I started going to therapy with someone who specialized in Asperger's and LGBT identity, and her definitive question about bisexuality was if I'd be comfortable with having sex with a man. No. A gay coworker who sent me a drunken booty call on Facebook debated with for hours on why I'm not interested in men, and jokingly deduced in the end that maybe I'm "a lesbian in a man's body." Having been attracted to some out women before, Ir responded saying that stranger things have happened. There's been a continuing theme where my therapist thinks that I have a stronger feminine side than most men she knows. After one more of my vision distorting migraines, I found out that I had a pair of inguinal hernias, and part of my intestine would occasionally slip into the scrotum, pressing against one of the testicles. It's a risky procedure, so Only the small hernia wasn't repaired.
Many years later, and after reading a GQ article about a Navy SEAL who transitioned I started exploring my feminine side further. Watching TH-camrs like Lexi, Zoella, and Niomi Smart gets me comfortably in touch with my feminine side. On Second Life, I regularly switch the avatar genders (with a fluidity and lack of permanence that transition in real life would have). An Aussie lesbian veteran who I've met has suggested that maybe I already have high levels of estrogen for a man who's not yet at the point where andropause would start.
There's conflicting arguments that I get from some friends. Gay guys who say that I'm overcomplicating things and should just declare myself a effeminate gay, and third wave feminists who while broadly supporting LGBT's as minorities, say that feeling you fit in more with traits attributed to another gender is just you promoting preconceived misogynist stereotypes.
I still continue to explore my personal identity, but felt compelled to share my story.
HI, I like your video, and wondered how you were getting on?
I can figure out how many gay men hit on you all the time, cause you are just perfect!!! Could you tell me if it really happens very often?
Damn youre hot lol! You look better than a lot of other men actually.
I was watching dr. pimple popper and ended up here but very interesting
Love her
I have NO idea how I got here from eye surgery. LOL! But Wow! I had no idea you were originally born as a female physically. Great transition. Anyway...best of luck!
I'm so in love!
he is cool
Same thing happened to me dude.. crazy
I relate so much
Love your name
YOU LOOK GREAT DUDE JUS LIKE A GUY thats great im also trapped in a girls body only 17 I hopebi will get the oppurtunity to change but you money...... but are you feom NYC? cause I am and I woild like to meet you if . U woild want . To never met someone likebme but you look great bro!!!!
clicked for me too but much later at 31 :o
I love all ma trans men.
i can relate to this :)
how is it that I was a born male and get pittyful amounts of facial hair and you get that! I envy you ^_^
That is why you take the bike from the kid hahahah
I have a crush on you for so long now. *sigh*
You rock handsome
love you
Ovaries are the devil, of which all must be given the chance to purge oneself. Facial hair is nice too.
Thanks🥲💕💕
have you thought about when you get old and how all this surgery and T taking is going to effect your body?
We are all super informed when we start transitioning. You don't need to lecture him on this. Thanks.
U a guy trick the hell out of me KINDDA cute!!!
You look like a man but still sound somewhat like a woman. what i dont understand is that why are we so mess up? male born with female body. female born with male body. like nature totally screw up?
***** Nature's a bitch. Just ask this rabbit.
This video helped me so so much! I'm a 15 year old girl but I just don't think I'm a girl , I'm sure I'm a trans male and I've been looking into it and it hasn't been the first time I thought I was a trans either but I think I'm sure now, I asked my dad if I can go see a gender therapist so I can being to see if it's official that I am :)