Sources for Clips used: How to Survive YT - “How to Survive a Chimpanzee Attack” m.youtube.com/watch?v=KVbi48N... Chris Eckstrom: “Chimps on the Edge - Unusual behaviour at Waterhole in Senegal” th-cam.com/video/JsXQ913MOEY/w-d-xo.html 🎵Music: th-cam.com/video/LGD79pQY1kI/w-d-xo.html Damned (Black Ops zombies theme) - Brian Tuey Inspired by @mndiaye_97 For copyright issues please email me directly: [mattp1180@gmail.com]
Chimps only share 99% of their DNA woth us if you remove 25% of our DNA and 18% of their DNA. Technically were only 56% like chimps. Dig a little deeper the truth will shock you.
@@EMPERORSPROTECTION-TERRA4LIFE 😂yes, maybe a chimp is the leader of the apes in a movie...but silverback gorilla will wipe the floor with that chimp's ass in real life. Unless ofcourse 3/4 chimps are all up against one siverback....now, that would be a scene.
@@Sigkete you have to make the shot count. Once police were called after a chimp ripped it's owners face or something and they shot it five time in the chest and stomach area and it was still alive for 30-50 minutes.
4 gunshot wounds, a blunt metal object to the cranium, and a butcher knife. An enraged chimp would still live long enough to kill you even if all of that happened to it
@@ThatNerdGuy a sharp melee weapon will definitely help if you are fast enough but considering most people here are fat and out of shape, your best bet would be to unload the whole magazine into the chimpanzees, double tap
i don’t think that is good idea bc of this th-cam.com/users/shortsjybmZTUPta0?feature=share😬 and if you need anything I’m gona be in by bed trying to forgot this short and not have trauma😅
apparently our muscles are weaker mainly because our brains hold us back because if we were at full power our tendons might rip in half and damage other parts of the body
@@terran236 News flash Skippy; chimps make up a large part of camp meat in the African jungle operations and they're smart enuff to make themselves scarce or get eaten = along with gorillas that are tablefare...lol
Step 1: have an unhealthy ego that make you believe you can still beat the chimps Step 2: scream I just got that dog in me, as your about to punch the first chimp coming towards you Step 3: if your not him, your dead.
Actualy you could knock out a chimpanzee with a punch or at least make it scared But your first punches better be very powerfull and well landed. Cause you probably will have time to only throw 3 fast powerfull punches. Before you lose a nose or something
@@somerandomboi8239 ehh the day you gojja be in street fight you gonna be very suprise Punches if powerfull and well landed can knock you up or hurt a lot. Cause the power energy realease by the hips chest arm movement is too much for the brain/face to handle. Cause those muscles are able to produce very high power energy When you see people throwing punches and their opponent is okay it mean they dont have power in their punch
Common misconception, chimpanzee's are only 1.5x stronger than humans. And that is pound for pound. For example, an ant can carry about 50x its own weight, but would still lose to an elephant for reasons like size and absolute strength. This is why a chimps strength doesn't really mean anything in a fight. Since chimps are lighter than most humans, they are still weaker. Now I'm not saying I would win a fight against a chimp, but I am definitely sure a professional fighter could beat a chimp. Now the real tough thing is that they are more likely to be in groups, so good luck lmao
@@benjaminmatute9085even your average MMA fighter would lose this contest. You are dealing with an animal that has a good deal of intelligence, is pound for pound as strong as a power lifter, has the agility of a gazelle, has an incredible reach advantage.has 4 hands with incredible grip strength, have teeth and bite force of a Timber Wolf or African spotted Hyena, and the temperament of a Badger on a really bad day. Quite frankly that is one hell of a combination. This animal would jump on your back and bite a huge chunk out of your neck while simultaneously gouging out your eyes and ripping off your manhood with its second set of hands.
@@gregmadden3244 First off, we as humans are physically stronger. Pound for pound, or power to weight ratio doesn't matter in this comparison. Since although if a chimp was the same weight as us yes they will be stronger but however we humans have naturally more weight in muscle. We also have more stamina than a chimp and we are smarter. Also, you have no idea how dangerous martial arts are. As a martial artist myself it's very dangerous the sport and a martial artist will not be so easy to go down. Heck, a regular person has a chance of beating a chimp I that person fought more like a animal and used intelligence at the same time. Because a chimp will only beat a average person because they are more savage an unlike the person will net be afraid of the sight of seeing a person's ripped ball sack. So if a MMA fighter starts kicking kicks that can break bone and gets to the sensitive parts like the balls then it's over.
@@georgesmith6809 Yeah one that can jump from tree to tree all day, when most humans cannot do 3 pull ups to save their own life? Even Anatoly would back down.
@@nomoneycarguy5398 Sometimes i think about the animals that live easy lives, like some fish. But Humans have a blessing and a curse, the blessing is that we are the top of the food chain and the most advanced species to ever live. And the curse is that we have to battle Mother Nature to survive, not just animals, Nature. Natural disasters, elements and ourselves specifically. Humans are the best kind of worst thing and it’s kinda funny but at the same time pretty serious.
@@-pamba717-8f your not a guy then can you explain how your friends call out to you and your friends with the phrase "Hey guys!" ... Edit: its literally a metaphor plus how would you know someones gender in social media apps like yt..
@@SAVEDSOULS777😅 your are what writing is already present doesn't meant it is copy paste in fact I am using this statement first time in youtube.hope you understands
@@shriharihudli maybe if one knows how to utilize any weapon that can get the job done. Just gotta watch for those little shits jumping around since being small gives them more agility and nimbleness.
Yes a man with a glock 19 would most likeley lose. Chimpanzees are known to eat monkeys and they are fast as fuck also they travel in groups UP TO 20 CHIMPS and you have to reload@@JoshuaToweh
How to survive a chimpanzee attack Step 1: Make sure your gun is loaded. Step 2: Make sure your aim is good. Step 3: Realize you died somewhere around step 1.
@@patrickpromen3605 At least with the Hippos it will be fast. I'd rathe choose them. Fun fact: Hippos actually can't swim because most of their body mass is muscle. They literally run under water.
@@patrickpromen3605 chimps legit torture you they purposely make it as long as possible so you feel as much pain and might leave you alive just take away your face arms ears mouth and legs
But that would be racist. BLM would literally cancel you. Just live near water bodies. Black people are the best when it comes to athletics. But they are not good swimmers. That's a well known fact as stated in the video
Well, quite exaggerated. Chimps are 1.5/2 times stronger than humans. So, an adult chimp, which weighs around 50 kg is as strong as a 100kg adult fit male. Still, a force you won't encounter.
It has been scientifically proved that chimps are only 1,5x stronger than a human their size, the average chimp is way smaller than an average human, so the average adult is physically stronger than an average chimp, but a chimp would still win against an adult due to their huge armspan, sheer aggressiveness and fast and unpredictable moves
No your all wrong. What you really should be worried about is their bite. If I remember right they got like 1200 bite force and lion size canines if they are in good shape.
@@geodude6244 1200 lb bite force or psi? psi is very inaccurate as a squirrel has one of the strongest bites in terms of psi because they have less square inches per pound
@@AurelienBoulaud you are wrong, you forget whos talking here buddy. This is THE Not_black_imposter, if he says he can do it, then he can. Dont question him..
It’s not only the chimp’s body fat, but also their hip placement & centre of balance that cause them to be poor swimmers. The same body mechanics that enable us to walk upright also ensures our ability to swim.
Who said you gonna fight in a swimming pool or near a lake or something and even if you are then the chimp can wait at the she way longer than you can swim or keep yourself up for
@@suyogdevaiah1114 it could genuinely be true don't just turn down things that seem untrue but might be true. I don't know if this is true or not because I am too lazy to Google search but if you want to know you can search it up
@@jairbeltran3402 hmm sorry for that I knew that all members In kingdom animalia shares some common DNA with each other, but never knew about plants and animals sharing dna. There is a concept of gene jumping from one class of animals to another.
@Jair Beltran Thank you for using common sense, unlike this other fool, haha. As you eluded to, two seconds on Google with a simple search, and this guy would've seen we share DNA with many fruits, plant life, insects, etc. We share a shocking amount of DNA with plants and insects. For example, new studies may suggest we share over 90% with cabbage, 60% with strawberries, we share 50% of our DNA with trees, 70% with slugs, 44% with honey bees, and even 25% with daffodils.
@@bklee2720 lots of empathy relative to what lol? Most of the time empathy is something you exercise while you’re young to build up a better understanding, which means a lot of it can be pretty societal unless we’re talking about a mother and her child. Really lucky we have a society to hold up the standard for empathy, otherwise it would be a caveman times all over again
Yup. We are taught not to use it by society because those we show it to always end up trying to take advantage of us. In backward cultures it is seen as weakness.
If you jump in a body of water that's anywhere near a chimp, expect to be eaten by some alligators, or piranhas. If you're lucky, you'll be dead within seconds.
@@brokenshell3042 yeah if about today i prefer mad strangth animal to do it instead of some fuka who would dig by face and dik instead of sending me for dinner with Valhalla finally. Getting crushed by hippopotamus wont be that bas either. Through if i got to die bad then jumping from a clif is best. Wont feel any important thing while death is on. Just signing i believe i can fly and then bam its over.
*Like I always say: The best defense is common sense.* If you can avoid putting yourself in a situation in which a chimp COULD attack you, then you wouldn't need to know how to defend yourself in the first place.
Sources for Clips used:
How to Survive YT - “How to Survive a Chimpanzee Attack”
m.youtube.com/watch?v=KVbi48N...
Chris Eckstrom: “Chimps on the Edge - Unusual behaviour at Waterhole in Senegal”
th-cam.com/video/JsXQ913MOEY/w-d-xo.html
🎵Music:
th-cam.com/video/LGD79pQY1kI/w-d-xo.html
Damned (Black Ops zombies theme) - Brian Tuey
Inspired by @mndiaye_97
For copyright issues please email me directly: [mattp1180@gmail.com]
Chimps only share 99% of their DNA woth us if you remove 25% of our DNA and 18% of their DNA. Technically were only 56% like chimps.
Dig a little deeper the truth will shock you.
how are they gonna avoid me attacking them?
They are actually only 1.25-1.50 times stronger for body weights and they are usually 120 pounds meaning strength of 150-180 pound man
Not 2 to 4 times stronger 6 times plus they can rip you’re arm off you’re body
@@HandsomeDevil321-k8d They are 6 times. Not. 1.25
Rule number 1: Never be in be in a situation where you would have to theoretically survive a chimpanzee attack
exactly 😂
What if one escapes the zoo while your chaperoning you child on their school field trip and you get attacked
@@jorgesoto-ot8np a sacrifice will have to be made
@@SlimyReiko 💀
@@jorgesoto-ot8np why do you think zoo bathroom doors have locks on them
Rule #1
Don't be around chimpanzees
😂 seconded no fucking chimp or sharks ever getting me
On bd ima shoot lil ah niggas
🎉 👏❤
For real. I won't even go to the zoo or Florida bro.
@@stevendion1223 I felt that lol🥲💀
Best option.
Step 1: Have a Adult Silver Back Gorilla as your bodyguard
The chimps was in control in planet of the apes. Not the gorillas. There was a reason for that. 😂
@@EMPERORSPROTECTION-TERRA4LIFE thats besides my point im just saying that my comment is a good idea i never said how their the leader of the apes
@@EMPERORSPROTECTION-TERRA4LIFE 😂yes, maybe a chimp is the leader of the apes in a movie...but silverback gorilla will wipe the floor with that chimp's ass in real life. Unless ofcourse 3/4 chimps are all up against one siverback....now, that would be a scene.
You're less likely to get killed by a Silverback than a chimp
@@makukachawngthu6500 why would 3 quarters of a chimp go up against a silver back???
Rule Number 1:Be friends with Caesar
ikr😂🤣❇️
SUNLIGHT YELLOW OVERDRIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶
@@CelestialExilitywrong Caesar
And Brutus.
@@CelestialExilitybro didn’t get the joke
Rule 1: Go to a nearby river so the alligators can protect you
Fr
And get attacked by those instead 💀
I Was thinking the same😂
@@YourOldFriend_. its cooler to say i died by an alligator than i died by a chimpanzee
@@Nobody-fz2tztrue
Chimpanzees are what humans would be like if we listened to every intrusive thought we had
Apparently they have permanent 3am motivation too
@@dabillybasha deadly ass mindset
Heck yea
lollllll love it
You do ?
rule 3. After you go in the water, address the crocodile in it
😂😂😂😂
Underrated comment
I am the crocodile
King k rool doing a kill steal from Diddy Kong.
Then hippo will enter the chat 🗿
Mike Tyson did wanted to fight a Silverback Gorilla.
I think that was back in the day cuz he was asked if he could beat a chimp in a fight and he was like "Nah, I'd lose"
Tyson was not exactly known for his intelligence.
@@ThouSwell-zx3fdthankfully now he's a thousand times more wise
@@ThouSwell-zx3fd yes he was. Mikes far from stupid..m
@@thediaz07 lol If you say so
Step 1 : Just don't go see a chimpanzee.
Genius
AR-15 is all i got to say.
@@sushantkashyap6000 "just shoot it" fucking Americans and their savagery
@@sushantkashyap6000 what would you do if the chimp already knows how to use it.. and uses bruce lee moves to steal it away from you?
@@sushantkashyap6000yep
Step 1: have 20 Shaolin Kung Fu monks as bodyguards
@@Handler22134a Cant spell Wu Tang Clan without W 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥💯💯
Rule #1: Use the 1% advantage.
@@Handler22134a wushang clan >>>>>>>>>>>
@@Nameless_Cat_IsAGoodGame U Tang Clan
@@bloodysunday3192 September 4th 2391 2:46 am
How to survive chimp attack
Step one: You don't
Ong
Step two die
This comment is woefully under liked
@@rjspeedy87 step three they don't aim to kill you they want to make you suffer
Guy with ak47 😑🗿
"Tell iron man i said hi" I burst out laughing 😂😂
Rule number 1:
Reach into ur pocket and pull out the glock
There’s a reason why humans are at the top
Always carry the blicky just in case
That aint enough
@@hovdebjowhy is a metal projectile travelling past the sound barrier not enough?
@@Sigkete you have to make the shot count. Once police were called after a chimp ripped it's owners face or something and they shot it five time in the chest and stomach area and it was still alive for 30-50 minutes.
Make each shot or At least have seven or more bullets and go crazy.
"Don't punch them"
Mike Tyson: You don't know me son!
Ik it’s a joke but 1 on 1 a chimp would murder Mike Tyson and to the the people that are gonna say it’s a joke chil I know I’m just saying
😂😂😂😂
Honestly they'd probably kill him in like 2 mins these guys strong as hell
@@bringbackstpatties2967 You don't know him son!
@@foreverblackout9751he didn't tho tf?
Rule number one. You never need a gun until you needed one badly.
Could you have worded that any worse?
0 iq
4 gunshot wounds, a blunt metal object to the cranium, and a butcher knife. An enraged chimp would still live long enough to kill you even if all of that happened to it
@@chorizo6062 what's wrong with the wording?
A gun to shoot yourself lmao
Rule 1 : beg Caesar for mercy and help
Caeser loves humans we don't need to beg
Came here looking for this comment😂🤣🤩❇️
Rule No. 1: always have a firearm and a sharp melee weapon for emergencies.
Trust me a sharp melee weapon aint enough
@@ThatNerdGuy a sharp melee weapon will definitely help if you are fast enough but considering most people here are fat and out of shape, your best bet would be to unload the whole magazine into the chimpanzees, double tap
Flamethrower? German WW1 gas?
@Cesarios it is, their skin isn't invulnerable, and they are pretty smart if they get cut badly once it's probably enough to make them back off
i don’t think that is good idea bc of this th-cam.com/users/shortsjybmZTUPta0?feature=share😬 and if you need anything I’m gona be in by bed trying to forgot this short and not have trauma😅
Rule number 1: Always have a bear on a leash for defense
Joe Rogan entered the chat
@@search9747 JOE ROGAN? WE LOVE JOE ROGAN! DID SOMEONE SAY JOE ROGAN?
Or be a bear like me 🗿
Russian sported
@@abhimanyusood884 Ofcourse
“Remember that you’re probably gonna die.”
Well, at least he’s honest.
Right cause he's a girlyman likely wears a grandma bun...lol
apparently our muscles are weaker mainly because our brains hold us back because if we were at full power our tendons might rip in half and damage other parts of the body
@@mtman2 I don't care how tough you are a chimp is always going to win. Whether you have a man bun or not.
@@terran236
News flash Skippy; chimps make up a large part of camp meat in the African jungle operations and they're smart enuff to make themselves scarce or get eaten = along with gorillas that are tablefare...lol
@@mtman2ow is he a girlyman 😂 you go fight a chimpanzee and lets see how u come out 😂😂😂
How to defend yourself:
Step 1: tell them “apes together strong”
Step 2: show them Caesar’s window
“humans with less empathy”
Ah yes, twitter users.
Chimps are stronger lmao
dam sounds like the republican party
but chimps are stronger and smarter
@@kinglocs83 imagine being called a democrat that's like the worse thing to be called
@@kinglocs83 proves that you're a ❄️
Step 1: have an unhealthy ego that make you believe you can still beat the chimps
Step 2: scream I just got that dog in me, as your about to punch the first chimp coming towards you
Step 3: if your not him, your dead.
Can’t wait to try this!
Actualy you could knock out a chimpanzee with a punch or at least make it scared
But your first punches better be very powerfull and well landed.
Cause you probably will have time to only throw 3 fast powerfull punches. Before you lose a nose or something
@@coreyware4261Me too !!!😁😁
@@mathewvanostin7118 Bruh there are even humans that are incredibly resistant to both body and head punches
Wtf is u talkin' about?
@@somerandomboi8239 ehh the day you gojja be in street fight you gonna be very suprise
Punches if powerfull and well landed can knock you up or hurt a lot. Cause the power energy realease by the hips chest arm movement is too much for the brain/face to handle. Cause those muscles are able to produce very high power energy
When you see people throwing punches and their opponent is okay it mean they dont have power in their punch
If you get attacked by a Monkey:
Step 1: Return to Monke.
Step 2: Your ancestors will give you strength.
Step 3: You get to meet your ancestors.
Step 4: He will be with me meeting our ancestors.
@@VarnoSlimm Step 5 : It will be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
💀💀💀💀😭😭😭
@@harshnarayn Shared trauma 🤣
@@harshnarayn Step 6: Start dating him
That last chimp looking like Koba from ROTPOTA
How to survive a chimp attack:
Rule 1: stay away from them.
@Floron are you a martial artist?
@Floron 8.5/10. Obviously convinced the other guy. 😂
Well done.
@Floron also remember to run in a zig-zag pattern
@floron7777all fun and games until you miss a kick and then it grabs on you and you’re dead
@@FlameSlayer1901t only works against animals that have 4 legs
Moral of the story: Don’t go near chimpanzees.
I was attacked by a champ pansy
Just don't make them aggressive as long as you don't make them aggressive they really won't show no harm unles-
@@Mysterious_Bak3ercap
@@smitty_ybcap
@@Mysterious_Bak3erthat’s cap as fuck
Instructions unclear. I’m now the king of the jungle
Instructions unclear.. I’m now inside the chimp 👀🥵
@@joellopez499w h a t
😂😂
@@joellopez499bro uhh no uhhh what no please stop
@@JojoMillion how bout leave me alone before I enter you
Common misconception, chimpanzee's are only 1.5x stronger than humans.
And that is pound for pound.
For example, an ant can carry about 50x its own weight, but would still lose to an elephant for reasons like size and absolute strength. This is why a chimps strength doesn't really mean anything in a fight. Since chimps are lighter than most humans, they are still weaker.
Now I'm not saying I would win a fight against a chimp, but I am definitely sure a professional fighter could beat a chimp.
Now the real tough thing is that they are more likely to be in groups, so good luck lmao
Yea the strength isn't the issue, it's their teeth lol
Just learn MMA and you’re good.
@@benjaminmatute9085even your average MMA fighter would lose this contest. You are dealing with an animal that has a good deal of intelligence, is pound for pound as strong as a power lifter, has the agility of a gazelle, has an incredible reach advantage.has 4 hands with incredible grip strength, have teeth and bite force of a Timber Wolf or African spotted Hyena, and the temperament of a Badger on a really bad day. Quite frankly that is one hell of a combination. This animal would jump on your back and bite a huge chunk out of your neck while simultaneously gouging out your eyes and ripping off your manhood with its second set of hands.
Are you crazy? That chimp would climb you like a tree and be on your ass before you can say common misconception.
@@gregmadden3244 First off, we as humans are physically stronger. Pound for pound, or power to weight ratio doesn't matter in this comparison. Since although if a chimp was the same weight as us yes they will be stronger but however we humans have naturally more weight in muscle. We also have more stamina than a chimp and we are smarter. Also, you have no idea how dangerous martial arts are. As a martial artist myself it's very dangerous the sport and a martial artist will not be so easy to go down. Heck, a regular person has a chance of beating a chimp I that person fought more like a animal and used intelligence at the same time. Because a chimp will only beat a average person because they are more savage an unlike the person will net be afraid of the sight of seeing a person's ripped ball sack. So if a MMA fighter starts kicking kicks that can break bone and gets to the sensitive parts like the balls then it's over.
“They look like you if you stuck to your new year resolution” That got me💀
It's so true too... literally ripped af. Brain says "inferior ape Chimp" body says "inferior ape Sapien"
I don’t no about looking like me ! May be a crippled, hunched over old man with muscles !
I know that ish was true tho lol
@@georgesmith6809 Yeah one that can jump from tree to tree all day, when most humans cannot do 3 pull ups to save their own life?
Even Anatoly would back down.
Moral of the story: Just don’t exist, it’s too dangerous.
Ants be like :
Life is hard that’s all be careful and don’t be stupid. You will be alright.
@@nomoneycarguy5398 Sometimes i think about the animals that live easy lives, like some fish. But Humans have a blessing and a curse, the blessing is that we are the top of the food chain and the most advanced species to ever live. And the curse is that we have to battle Mother Nature to survive, not just animals, Nature. Natural disasters, elements and ourselves specifically. Humans are the best kind of worst thing and it’s kinda funny but at the same time pretty serious.
Thanks for the advice. I'm gonna go to Unborn now.
@@TempeRTroll And TAXES. Lots of TAXES
1% DNA make so much difference
If I'm ever attacked by a chimp, I'm living in the wrong neighborhood.
Chicago
You would be living in heaven.
Memphis
@@andrewjones4774 hahahaha
People from the hood get attacked by chimps on the daily
Step number one: don’t go to forests or jungles that have chimpanzees or any type of angry gorilla
you’re the same type of guy to tell a homeless man to buy a home
@@q.st1m Not even comparable to that statement
@@q.st1m Firstly I’m not a guy secondly that has nothing to do with what I’m saying and thirdly I wouldn’t tell a homeless person the buy a house
@@-pamba717-8 its a metaphor-
@@-pamba717-8f your not a guy then can you explain how your friends call out to you and your friends with the phrase "Hey guys!" ...
Edit: its literally a metaphor plus how would you know someones gender in social media apps like yt..
Step 1: swim away to survive a chimpanzee attack.
Step 2: You are dead because of the big ass alligator who was waiting for a quick snack.
Co-op trolling
If not an alligator a hippo maybe
@@baloch5496 hippo would have ate the monkeys already
Trust me, you'd rather die by an alligator.
*croc since alligators don't live in africa
Step one: Find ceaser and start begging
Moral of the story, always have an abrahams tank in your pocket
The crocodiles are getting that 5 star meal lol
Bro got a conveyor belt for food
Bro just roasted us all in the most calm face ever
It just the trend
@@blackfrieza9056what? Are you a bot? Not everything is a trend that’s for npcs like you. Not capable of original thought just copy & paste thinking!
@@SAVEDSOULS777😅 your are what writing is already present doesn't meant it is copy paste in fact I am using this statement first time in youtube.hope you understands
Me with my pet 400 ft monke :- You dare oppose me mortals.
KING KON-
Damn bro you got King Kong on lock?
Bro Godzilla's coming
Step 1: always have hollow points in your gun.
Realistically you’d have to have it on you ready. They’re fast af
Tell that to Tony Soprano
Step 1: be Chuck Norris
That wouldn’t save you.
@@shriharihudli maybe if one knows how to utilize any weapon that can get the job done. Just gotta watch for those little shits jumping around since being small gives them more agility and nimbleness.
@@shriharihudli clearly a joke
Chimps would rip him apart
Imagine making Chuck Norris jokes in 2023
Step 1: Blam em' with a shotgun.
I would do that.
@@desperateneedofscotch better call saul
@@desperateneedofscotch better call Saul
Instructions unclear: after hitting them with a shotgun they are now aiming it at me.
shoot..that might work
The marvel joke at the end was perfect😂😂😂
Recent study shows that chimps are only about 1.5 to 2 times stronger than the average man. But they have more fast twitch muscles.
And carivore teeth
1.35 to 1.5 times stronger than someone of relative body mass on a pound for pound basis actually
And 4 inch canines
@bill joseph Speak for yourself, i and many others here go to the gym daily
@@zenoohshit5498 Then you arent the Average
Step 1: Have a .500 magnum in your back pocket.
What if I don’t have that with me💀
Why would i need 500 magnum ice cream
@@Bocker-1Just give ice cream to chimp and he will become friend
Wait until the Chimp snatched it off 💀
@@FCGoalNoobedThen let me introduce you to my very best friend:
El Chete by Tops Knives !
The monkey BBQ is on me 😉👍
The glock 19 in my pocket: Nah i think i have less empathy
The chimpanzee will disarm you and use his 2nd amendment rights.
Real life chimpanzees are not single, unmoving, targets at a shooting range
@@felixg.6493 If I am dying, I am sure as hell taking that endangered and protected by law species with me.
@@felixg.6493 Did you just try to imply a man with a gun would lose to a chimp cause they can move? Lol
Yes a man with a glock 19 would most likeley lose. Chimpanzees are known to eat monkeys and they are fast as fuck also they travel in groups UP TO 20 CHIMPS and you have to reload@@JoshuaToweh
😅😂 you got me laughing because of the things you said that when you said tell Iron Man hi
Rule 1: Go into water
Rule 2: Pray that there is No crocodile
Fax
Out of the frying pan and into the fire
💀
How to survive a chimpanzee attack
Step 1: Make sure your gun is loaded.
Step 2: Make sure your aim is good.
Step 3: Realize you died somewhere around step 1.
😂
And now the apes have a gun and research have shown that they can learn how to shoot it
Step 1. Equip the handbook for the recently deceased
@@FnafFrosty_games but it reads like stereo instructions 💀⚰️
So bad!!!!!!!! I hate your questions!!!!
Here's the best option: don't put yourself in that situation
agreed
agreed
Nevermind run for your life
j
Thank you, i’ve been so worried about chimpanzee attacks lately
“We barely have any to begin with” 💀
Man roasted the entire human race..
But he’s right…
I would say my glock is a part of me..
100th like
@@uvuvwevwevweonyetenyevweos7795most rational American:
@@uvuvwevwevweonyetenyevweos7795so edgy for what
Have your two friends help you: Smith and Wesson.
And Mr magnum
Bro y’all gonna get trio wiped
The dudes who say this are the least ready when shit actually hits the fan 😂
@@Ashw1115Increase the brutality.
“Skull collector”
They can survive that & definitely can fight through it. Your best bet is to swim for your life, if your near water.
Bro said, "Here's how to survive a chimp attack... you can't"
You could try putting your belly up in submission
Because you don’t survive
Bro is misquoting all the stats he’s showing.
Step 1. Tell the bros you are gonna miss them
Step 2. Make the chimpanzees the new bros
Step 3. Become chimpanzees new bitch instead.
Step 3. Become Monke
“Find a nearby river and hope that the Hippos save you”
I'll risk the chimp fight
@@patrickpromen3605 At least with the Hippos it will be fast. I'd rathe choose them. Fun fact: Hippos actually can't swim because most of their body mass is muscle. They literally run under water.
@@patrickpromen3605 chimps legit torture you they purposely make it as long as possible so you feel as much pain and might leave you alive just take away your face arms ears mouth and legs
@@patrickpromen3605 I would choose the hippo..
why u fr acting like its hard to beat a chimp
Reminder: smiling is a sign of aggression.
I think that's for gorrilas
Totally opposite, is a sign of submission/fear since your teeth are not ready to bite.
It's not a sign of submission, because smiling counts as showing your teeth which is a threatening expression.
Smiling with teeths closed is submissive but smiling with an open mouth is a sign of agression.
"WHERE CAESAR?!?!?"
Rule #1 keep your gun with you at all times!
You’re not gonna run into a wild chimpanzee in America bud.
@@rbmedia8798 you would be shocked how many people in the US have exotic animals.
@@rbmedia8798 You can still carry guns in other countries... lmao
@@rbmedia8798 You’re are allow to use gun in many other countries bud.
@rbmedia, we actually do have wild chimps someplaces in the USA. Do some researching you'll be amazed.
Rule 1: gun
Hi
@@HarryHeath-pb6rvnpc
🤣🤣🤣 exactly
Travis the chimp survived 4 gunshots by a handgun, your gun ain’t gonna do shit
Chimps can tank sniper shots guns ain't working when that Close you better hope your Usain bolt
How to avoid being attacked by a chimpanzee:
Don't live near chimpanzees
Thanks for coming to my TED Talk
*applause*
But that would be racist. BLM would literally cancel you. Just live near water bodies. Black people are the best when it comes to athletics. But they are not good swimmers. That's a well known fact as stated in the video
Lights off. The show is over.
Here's what to do if you're attacked by a polar bear:
Good idea. I was reading about some villages in I think Uganda that was having issues with chi mps coming to steal and tear apart human kids
“We’re the same. Don’t hurt me brotha”-🧔🏿♂️
Based, strong African vs virgin europa
Lol
Nigga 😂😂😂😂
That’s actually Very racist dude
@@KaiRilDOES201 it’s ok. I’m black
Well, quite exaggerated. Chimps are 1.5/2 times stronger than humans. So, an adult chimp, which weighs around 50 kg is as strong as a 100kg adult fit male. Still, a force you won't encounter.
the glock in my pocket:nah, i'd win
If you still have your arm
@@Mjsports3730 yeah good point
Thats why you have two
You would have no time
@@Lurkfish-nm4ycchimpanzee doesn’t stand a chance against a human with a gun
I like how some animals actually have tutorials on how to survive and others are just telling dead people hello
Chimps are 3ft talllllll
I'm kicking the bitch like a football
It has been scientifically proved that chimps are only 1,5x stronger than a human their size, the average chimp is way smaller than an average human, so the average adult is physically stronger than an average chimp, but a chimp would still win against an adult due to their huge armspan, sheer aggressiveness and fast and unpredictable moves
The grip strength is where it's at. The best bet is a mighty stick and swing it hard. They won't be dodging shit.
@@ReasonAboveEverything true
No your all wrong. What you really should be worried about is their bite. If I remember right they got like 1200 bite force and lion size canines if they are in good shape.
@@geodude6244 yeah, i forgot that, they also like to bite their victims fingers off
@@geodude6244 1200 lb bite force or psi? psi is very inaccurate as a squirrel has one of the strongest bites in terms of psi because they have less square inches per pound
Best tip: be the cameraman
they are protected by mighty god itself
"Here's how to survive...you don't" lol
"The AK-47, officially known as the Avtomat Kalashnikova is a gas-operated assault rifle that is chambered for the 7.62×39mm cartridge"
Chimps when I grab it’s leg mid jump and starts flailing it around:
chimps: *rips you apart like its fucking nothing*
@@AurelienBoulaud I am a human I am the superior creature we are the top of the food chain for a reason I ain’t losing to a monkey
@@AurelienBoulaud you are wrong, you forget whos talking here buddy.
This is THE Not_black_imposter, if he says he can do it, then he can.
Dont question him..
@@SilverbackJellybottom I’ve seen him do it, he straight up just hopped a fence at the zoo and started flailing one around. Dudes a legend.
@@AurelienBoulaud the glock in my pocket: what did you say, monkey?
“Here’s what you need to do to survive”
“You’re gonna die.” Thanks for that wonderful tip.
yeah right
I’m not going into no damn river hippos🤣
And crocodiles
I'll take my chances with the chimp
Ask the hippo for some help fr
Probably snakes too
It's a faster death with the hippos
Step one: Have a male elephant seal guard
Or just an elephant
A chimpanzee would would wipe the floor with a elephant seal
@@doctorzombiefruit65debatable. Not debatable the seal could never catch the chimp unless the chimp chooses to get close to the seal
It’s not only the chimp’s body fat, but also their hip placement & centre of balance that cause them to be poor swimmers.
The same body mechanics that enable us to walk upright also ensures our ability to swim.
As a swimmer I see this as an absolute win
Untill the crocs see you swimming
Who said you gonna fight in a swimming pool or near a lake or something and even if you are then the chimp can wait at the she way longer than you can swim or keep yourself up for
@@stevenw5838as a professional crocodile I see this as an absolute win
No shit
As a person who doesn't know how to swim bc im literally terrified of drowning. I'm finna be dead:D
Step 1 : If you want babies later in your life then go to an aquarium
Shorts: How to survive chimpanze attack
First thing: You probably gonna die
Me: lol
"Swim away" Nile crocodile enters the chat, with his buddy...hippopotamus
We also share over 60% of our DNA with bananas lmao just because you share DNA doesn't mean you are the same. 🤦🏻♂️
Someone's mad at their brother
Bananas 😂bro u learned biology from ohio 😂
@@suyogdevaiah1114 it could genuinely be true don't just turn down things that seem untrue but might be true. I don't know if this is true or not because I am too lazy to Google search but if you want to know you can search it up
@@jairbeltran3402 hmm sorry for that I knew that all members In kingdom animalia shares some common DNA with each other, but never knew about plants and animals sharing dna. There is a concept of gene jumping from one class of animals to another.
@Jair Beltran Thank you for using common sense, unlike this other fool, haha. As you eluded to, two seconds on Google with a simple search, and this guy would've seen we share DNA with many fruits, plant life, insects, etc. We share a shocking amount of DNA with plants and insects. For example, new studies may suggest we share over 90% with cabbage, 60% with strawberries, we share 50% of our DNA with trees, 70% with slugs, 44% with honey bees, and even 25% with daffodils.
"So you better tell iron man hi"
Nahh bro's all in💀
He roasted everyone who said “new year new me”☠️
Rule 1 don’t listen to gun laws and carry a gun everywhere
Step 1: Question your life and ask why you’d rather not be with a dog then a chimpanzee in the moment
"Like humans with less empathy, but we barely have any to begin with "
😂😂😂
“They look like what you would if you stuck to your New Year’s resolution “
stupid since the whole idea of empathy is a construct based on ourselves
Like we can literally tear apart all the Species if we chose to, and Chimps are a lesser version of Humans
It’s such a dumb and ignorant thing to say, guy must *live* on the internet.
Just tell the chimp “this isn’t you” and that will work 95% of the time
Glock:hi I’m right here😀
"We barely have any to begin with" lol
We do, we sadly, just don't use it
@@bklee2720 lots of empathy relative to what lol? Most of the time empathy is something you exercise while you’re young to build up a better understanding, which means a lot of it can be pretty societal unless we’re talking about a mother and her child. Really lucky we have a society to hold up the standard for empathy, otherwise it would be a caveman times all over again
@@NDwhITeBoYZ exactly
@@NDwhITeBoYZ Compared to anything else. Unlike other animals we actually have any
Humans actually have ALOT of empathy they choose not to use.
Yup. We are taught not to use it by society because those we show it to always end up trying to take advantage of us. In backward cultures it is seen as weakness.
@@shriharihudli backward cultures?
humans are still the most violent animal on the planet no other animals have had wars killing well into the millions of their own kind
@@shriharihudli We agree
Humans are the only ones with empathy. All other species eat their kids if they have to
If you jump in a body of water that's anywhere near a chimp, expect to be eaten by some alligators, or piranhas. If you're lucky, you'll be dead within seconds.
Think positive
@@lvelez1999 I like you
better than dying by that mf
@@brokenshell3042honestly true they will just torture you
@@brokenshell3042 yeah if about today i prefer mad strangth animal to do it instead of some fuka who would dig by face and dik instead of sending me for dinner with Valhalla finally. Getting crushed by hippopotamus wont be that bas either. Through if i got to die bad then jumping from a clif is best. Wont feel any important thing while death is on. Just signing i believe i can fly and then bam its over.
Awesome 😎, thanks for the video, that should tell you people what’s up.
“Tell iron man I said hi” is crazyyyyy😂
I know right
@@IRONMAN69420miss you bro😢😂
He is probably never lived in our hood 😢😅😂
*"IN WATER CHIMPS WILL DROWN"*
Ofc there black
@@gianilee6381☠️
You better hope they can't swim😊
@@perfectlysureunknown *in water chimps will drown*
"And look like you stuck if you stuck to your New Year's resolution" 💀
*Like I always say: The best defense is common sense.*
If you can avoid putting yourself in a situation in which a chimp COULD attack you, then you wouldn't need to know how to defend yourself in the first place.
Rule no 2: always carry a large body of water with you to swim away from chimp attack
Plan A: Don’t get attacked
“Even the strongest chimpanzee or monkey, gorilla, or even all different kinds of monkeys can’t defeat the all mighty, Lennox rose”-wisper kin
Step 1: Have prep time 🦇