I think having an active parent is more important than presence. I grew up with both parents but my dad has never been an active parent. He was there but my mom did the parenting all on her own. I don't have a relationship with my father. Growing up I always thought of my mom as my mother and father.
Same, It's the little thing that counts/counted I wanted him to reassure me that am good enough, what I like/food/dolls etc. And I saw how his absence emotionally reflected on me resenting men,looking for him in wrong places,low self esteem.
@@tlhalefontoe7238 you are good enough,you have always been good enough and you will always be good enough. Liberate yourself from seeking his validation. We sometimes forget that we are individuals and that we each have our own journeys. Focus on healing & becoming a higher and greater version of self. You deserve that and more. Don't allow anyone to keep you away from your greatness.
Same here. Like my mom taught me things that my dad should have. My mom taught me how to drive which is something a father should do. My mom was changing bulbs in the house. She did everything inside and outside. My mom would do gardening as well. She has done so much on her own
I can relate to the quote sis Ursula made about how rich kids have confidence, because I was raised by a single mother who is a police officer but shockingly enough people always assume that I am from a wealthy family. Almost every time when I ask why, they mention how I hold myself. The crazy thing is that I’m a private person so it’s purely just assumptions. Reflecting on this has made me to believe society opens up better towards people with inclined SES to freely hold up spaces and always shuns down on those who try to have voice while poor because “who do you think you are?” That’s why when you are a stranger just popping up with soo much life, passion and liberty, they assimilate you to wealth. A conversation I would like to hear is the one that Bhut Given slightly touched on about being a single parented individual who has grown to want a dual parented family. How do you heal from the trauma and all the “I was raised by a single parent and I turned out fine”. For men, how did they figure out their way in society to be great responsible men without the close guide of a father figure. The trauma, how did you heal through it? Have you ever felt like it could be a generational curse? How are you able to love and share your life with a partner while you’ve never witnessed that in your closed home? How have you found your way to where you are and not added to the “broken homes raise broken kids who lead broken lives”?
I think the conversation around 2 parents household can be very subjective. Depending on the type of a person the father is. See how you have women who have "daddy issues ' I am growing up with a dad, who forces me out of the comfort zone and believes in me and pushes me while mom thinks I should always be careful... He put me in charge of our business, he forced me to learn how to drive etc. My expectations in relationship also I think they are very high because I have such a loving and intentional father..... Anyway I love love this segment
I am sure I speak for most of us when I say this: We have time to listen to the conversations. Some of us listen to this podcast while we work so we have the whole day. I understand that you have other commitments but, if possible could the episodes be a little longer? Pretty please!🤲
Firstly love the podcast, keep up the good work. The part where you guys discussed.how men are uncomfortable with being touched by other men really got me thinking and I think it's s because from a young age men are taught to sexualise bodies also I'm a teacher and I see how so many boys are neglected even with "present" parents, they dont pay as much attention to the boy child's emotional wellness and it manifests in their behavior, boys are very violent in schools even in primary because the only negative emotion they feel free expressing is anger
When it comes to the single parent vs both parents household. I think the conversation should be what does it mean to come from healthy household. A couple of my friends had both parents but they were broken and some friends come from a single household I was fine because their mothers had the community. Parenting is very complicated and depends on the support
Lol Must be nice being constantly reminded that you are beautiful. I was always made to feel less than and that really affected my self-esteem to this day. I cringe when people tell me now that I'm beautiful. It shocks me 😂
I am a single mother to two sons and I agree with what Given is saying. I always say parenting is more taxing emotionally than any other aspect and the need to switch from different personalities (depending on how many kids you have) is a lot. I was raised in a both parents household but still feel my mom did most of the parenting of 7 children, I'm shook every time gore how did she do it.
I liked reflection, we project so much every single day❤ The comment on the two parent household- i totally agree, it has to do with being intentional in a two parent household, because there are situations where children are being raised in a two parent household but one party is not present (just there for finances). As Ursula mentioned, i have also noticed how confident children with wealthier background are My opinion? I agree with both the views, having a two parents in a good financial situation😅❤ Great episode❤
Personally I don't think having both parents living under one roof has anything to do with one's confidence. I grew up with my uncle and his wife raising their but my uncle was an absent father who stayed at home with his family. While i had both parents not living under one roof but very present and every chance they got to tell me that i can be more than what life offers.
😂😂.... I do not wanna lie, for people like me, who are easily destructed. I am struggling to focus on both make up and the talk simultaneously. While I am trying to listen to the talk, when I look at the make-up, I lose the whole thing.
Beyond the principle issue about cheating...for me cheating is hard work ,is an assignment that never ends. You must always be " 1 step ahead of your partner" hay ngumsebezi I can't...when your phone rings uyathuka coz you don't know who is it. It's just not peaceful hay
What did she say at 24:16?it seems so hilarious, we have great taxi/matatu comedy too!Hellllllo I’m Shazz from sunny Nairobi 🌸I’m such a fan of your podcast… I cannot wait till we start getting subtitles for those of us who don’t speak Zulu/Xhosa?😅I feel like all the juicy commentary and comedy is said in ‘not English’ and so we miss out… even though sometimes we catch some words from the bantu words. Not a criticism, just a comment and perhaps also a request for subtitles?That said, as a fellow African who speaks 4 languages, I know that some things don’t translate well and also, they are just sweeter in my mother’s tongue. Much love to you all ❤
Also specifically here, the man Bonga was sitting next to in a taxi said “it’s cold now” when she got up and moved away from him… hinting to her size keeping him warm. Ursula then responded asking “are you keeping men in taxis warm Bonga?”
Ursula, no offence taken on my end re- the size 30 vs kiddies section. I am a ground mid 30's lady, and I still shop in the kids section. Don't get me started on the shoe size. By the time I hit 40, I might just be a size 13 show size. This life- no balance. 😅 Khululeka sisi❤ Love you team TCC
What problem is there, that marriage is designed to solve? Is that problem still exist today?. Maybe and I say maybe that's why marriage doesn't carry same expression anymore. But there is beauty found in love and marriage though❤.
Honestly I am 28 and sometimes 30 i do go to teenage section and teenage fashion of today is just as ours. There's a baggy Jeans I inherited from my niece and I get compliments all the time i wear it. Bathong Ursula o bua nnete.
Oh by the way: How do I get hold of you team? A friend has a story to share. I think the platform will be of great help for awareness. How do I link her with you? Thank you.
Hey I have a friend who has an honours in psychology but can’t continue due to funds. Can I get a list of the agency you were talking about. The type of options she can get in until she can get her masters
Hao, bathong, the conversation was promising but to watch you nje applying make up but you apparently having conversations with other people who arent shown on camera, no sis🥵😳 maybe audio
Sese, why are we not on Spotify... Hai sana lwam, who am I listening to when I'm cleaning and driving and walking .. ha a
The comment I've been waiting for😩
New subbie here all the from tiktok and I totally agree 🥺🤝❤️
I don’t think you guys understand how much we appreciate this podcast. Deep and educational conversation
I think having an active parent is more important than presence. I grew up with both parents but my dad has never been an active parent. He was there but my mom did the parenting all on her own. I don't have a relationship with my father. Growing up I always thought of my mom as my mother and father.
Same, It's the little thing that counts/counted I wanted him to reassure me that am good enough, what I like/food/dolls etc. And I saw how his absence emotionally reflected on me resenting men,looking for him in wrong places,low self esteem.
Totally agree
@@tlhalefontoe7238 you are good enough,you have always been good enough and you will always be good enough. Liberate yourself from seeking his validation. We sometimes forget that we are individuals and that we each have our own journeys. Focus on healing & becoming a higher and greater version of self. You deserve that and more. Don't allow anyone to keep you away from your greatness.
Same here. Like my mom taught me things that my dad should have. My mom taught me how to drive which is something a father should do. My mom was changing bulbs in the house. She did everything inside and outside. My mom would do gardening as well. She has done so much on her own
I can relate to the quote sis Ursula made about how rich kids have confidence, because I was raised by a single mother who is a police officer but shockingly enough people always assume that I am from a wealthy family. Almost every time when I ask why, they mention how I hold myself. The crazy thing is that I’m a private person so it’s purely just assumptions. Reflecting on this has made me to believe society opens up better towards people with inclined SES to freely hold up spaces and always shuns down on those who try to have voice while poor because “who do you think you are?” That’s why when you are a stranger just popping up with soo much life, passion and liberty, they assimilate you to wealth.
A conversation I would like to hear is the one that Bhut Given slightly touched on about being a single parented individual who has grown to want a dual parented family. How do you heal from the trauma and all the “I was raised by a single parent and I turned out fine”. For men, how did they figure out their way in society to be great responsible men without the close guide of a father figure. The trauma, how did you heal through it? Have you ever felt like it could be a generational curse? How are you able to love and share your life with a partner while you’ve never witnessed that in your closed home? How have you found your way to where you are and not added to the “broken homes raise broken kids who lead broken lives”?
Given is so wise.
He brings another balance/perspective to engagement
I think the conversation around 2 parents household can be very subjective. Depending on the type of a person the father is. See how you have women who have "daddy issues ' I am growing up with a dad, who forces me out of the comfort zone and believes in me and pushes me while mom thinks I should always be careful... He put me in charge of our business, he forced me to learn how to drive etc. My expectations in relationship also I think they are very high because I have such a loving and intentional father..... Anyway I love love this segment
Have been watching you guys for a minute now and I absolutely Love the conversations you have.
I enjoy Given's different perspective to things so much,I always get excited ka li get readys!
I am sure I speak for most of us when I say this: We have time to listen to the conversations.
Some of us listen to this podcast while we work so we have the whole day. I understand that you have other commitments but, if possible could the episodes be a little longer? Pretty please!🤲
Love you guys, you're so relatable and the laughter is so contagious guys ❤❤❤❤
Your Podcast is so homely😂
"You must cut them very quickly or you'll be hurt deeply" I can relate, I took too long and I don't know the extent of the damage
Firstly love the podcast, keep up the good work. The part where you guys discussed.how men are uncomfortable with being touched by other men really got me thinking and I think it's s because from a young age men are taught to sexualise bodies also I'm a teacher and I see how so many boys are neglected even with "present" parents, they dont pay as much attention to the boy child's emotional wellness and it manifests in their behavior, boys are very violent in schools even in primary because the only negative emotion they feel free expressing is anger
When it comes to the single parent vs both parents household. I think the conversation should be what does it mean to come from healthy household. A couple of my friends had both parents but they were broken and some friends come from a single household I was fine because their mothers had the community.
Parenting is very complicated and depends on the support
🤭I really enjoyed this episode, Ursula, Given & Bonga... thanks a ton guys & we love you all!!!🔥❤️🤌🏽
I love love your conversations, they are so refreshing and full of wisdom ❤
Lol Must be nice being constantly reminded that you are beautiful. I was always made to feel less than and that really affected my self-esteem to this day. I cringe when people tell me now that I'm beautiful. It shocks me 😂
Honestly love this episodes 🔥🔥🔥
I am a single mother to two sons and I agree with what Given is saying. I always say parenting is more taxing emotionally than any other aspect and the need to switch from different personalities (depending on how many kids you have) is a lot. I was raised in a both parents household but still feel my mom did most of the parenting of 7 children, I'm shook every time gore how did she do it.
I liked reflection, we project so much every single day❤
The comment on the two parent household- i totally agree, it has to do with being intentional in a two parent household, because there are situations where children are being raised in a two parent household but one party is not present (just there for finances).
As Ursula mentioned, i have also noticed how confident children with wealthier background are
My opinion? I agree with both the views, having a two parents in a good financial situation😅❤
Great episode❤
Personally I don't think having both parents living under one roof has anything to do with one's confidence. I grew up with my uncle and his wife raising their but my uncle was an absent father who stayed at home with his family. While i had both parents not living under one roof but very present and every chance they got to tell me that i can be more than what life offers.
😂😂.... I do not wanna lie, for people like me, who are easily destructed. I am struggling to focus on both make up and the talk simultaneously. While I am trying to listen to the talk, when I look at the make-up, I lose the whole thing.
Thank you so much for yet another informative episode, I am sooo itching to use ceteris paribus 😂
What a lovely episode. Thank you for gracing us with this informative episode.
Ceteris Paribus…. Given took me back to varsity, Economics 1. We abused that term😂😂
Beyond the principle issue about cheating...for me cheating is hard work ,is an assignment that never ends. You must always be " 1 step ahead of your partner" hay ngumsebezi I can't...when your phone rings uyathuka coz you don't know who is it. It's just not peaceful hay
O futhumatsa bontate taxing?
Yoh that comment finished me 😂😂😂😂
I almost burst out laughing and I'm listening to this in the library🤣
@@amogelangmokaila1011 😂😂😂
❤❤ beautiful conversation
What did she say at 24:16?it seems so hilarious, we have great taxi/matatu comedy too!Hellllllo I’m Shazz from sunny Nairobi 🌸I’m such a fan of your podcast… I cannot wait till we start getting subtitles for those of us who don’t speak Zulu/Xhosa?😅I feel like all the juicy commentary and comedy is said in ‘not English’ and so we miss out… even though sometimes we catch some words from the bantu words. Not a criticism, just a comment and perhaps also a request for subtitles?That said, as a fellow African who speaks 4 languages, I know that some things don’t translate well and also, they are just sweeter in my mother’s tongue. Much love to you all ❤
We hear you! Thank you for your gentle approach ❤️❤️
Also specifically here, the man Bonga was sitting next to in a taxi said “it’s cold now” when she got up and moved away from him… hinting to her size keeping him warm. Ursula then responded asking “are you keeping men in taxis warm Bonga?”
😂😂😂 pupil pain, me too Bonga I was so relieved to know I'm not the only one going through it. It used to bother me a lot.
The taxi story was crazy😂😂😂😂
I love these episodes ❤
Ursula, beautiful lady. I love your work; very informative and relatable. Thank you.❤❤❤
Love the getting ready … what product you using for your eyebrows?😊
Ursula, no offence taken on my end re- the size 30 vs kiddies section.
I am a ground mid 30's lady, and I still shop in the kids section. Don't get me started on the shoe size. By the time I hit 40, I might just be a size 13 show size.
This life- no balance. 😅
Khululeka sisi❤
Love you team TCC
Kwaze kabanda manje... eish, ematekisini people would make you laugh ! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
I had to come back and watch this again today. Uthi u-Ursula, uSibonga ufudumeza abantu ematekisini!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂
No we LOVEEE the grwm's!
You can’t share your wins because batho ba loya Aus’ Ursula 😂😂😂
Or everybody wants a piece, even those who were never close to you
OH the Teens section honey is always the one! ;-) Lovely podcast and conversation
What problem is there, that marriage is designed to solve? Is that problem still exist today?. Maybe and I say maybe that's why marriage doesn't carry same expression anymore. But there is beauty found in love and marriage though❤.
We learn everyday😂😂😂
"Ceteris paribus" im about to abuse this term
Given sounds more like Brenden Praise Ledwaba.
lol I wanted to say he sounds like DJ Naked
Ehhh.... after that "ceteris paribus" I had to click a subscribe button.🤣🤣🤣
First time seeing this show and what i love it...🖤♥
First one to indulge!!🎉❤😂😊
That word Given was trying to say ke vaginismus
Honestly I am 28 and sometimes 30 i do go to teenage section and teenage fashion of today is just as ours. There's a baggy Jeans I inherited from my niece and I get compliments all the time i wear it. Bathong Ursula o bua nnete.
Omg the hello hello hello will be thr death of me 😭
2nd here lets indulge 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Danko Guys
Now I can’t wait to attend a Monday meeting at work and throw “Ceteris paribus” unprovoked yeyyy🤣🤣🤣
Oh by the way: How do I get hold of you team? A friend has a story to share. I think the platform will be of great help for awareness. How do I link her with you?
Thank you.
Your videos on twitter brought me here
First to register! 💃🏽❤🎉
Would you consider not adding the background music? It distracted me quite a bit. Thank you
😂😂😂 vele imali iyathandeka...haaibo😂😂😂
Hey I have a friend who has an honours in psychology but can’t continue due to funds. Can I get a list of the agency you were talking about. The type of options she can get in until she can get her masters
Mariani u are so dessee maaan
She’s not lying we can go to the kiddies section but trust me I don’t want pink glittery heels just because my foot size is a 3 😂
I love ur nails beautiful ❤
Bathong, 😂 Urs really envies being able to shop in the kiddies section shame. But I get it, it can be cheaper even.
What's paddle?
Paddle tennis, much like tennis but on a smaller court
I actually shop ko kiddies section 😂😂 I am a size 28 😂😂
❤❤❤❤❤
🕺
How is she not scared that she'd pierce her eyes with her nails?? 😮 Hmm!
Hao, bathong, the conversation was promising but to watch you nje applying make up but you apparently having conversations with other people who arent shown on camera, no sis🥵😳 maybe audio