*When you* - Feel drained on energy, instead of being invigorated - Don't sense any passion, instead more like a friendship - Ask yourself "Are we compatible?"
1- You’re constantly unhappy 2- You’re experiencing high levels of stress 3- You’re expectations aren’t being met 4- You knew there were problems at the very beginning 5- Your gut tells you something is off, but you can’t seem to pinpoint it 6- Your partner doesn’t seem very conscientious 7- You're too similar
I think it's important to note that doubt is normal in a relationship, especially after the honeymoon stage. You will see your partner's flaws and have to decide if you can learn to adapt to what you perceive as shortcomings. Also, for those with anxiety, it can be hard to differentiate generalized stress and anxiety from your relationship. A lot of the times, our anxiety targets our relationship because our loved one is at the forefront of our mind, not because there's anything wrong with the relationship. Step back and look at the facts; don't rely on intuition.
This is my problem I have general anxiety, and I cant tell if the anxiety that I'm feeling towards the relationship is justifiable or not. I wasn't thinking of this but it hit me halfway through watching the video
@@diegoanimations9504 Yeah. I notice that when my anxiety is particularly bad, it inflames my relationship doubt, simply because my partner is on my mind so much. After three years with this person, I know that I'm in a very healthy, happy, and stable relationship, but I have to be careful not to make any rash decisions or judgements when my anxiety spikes. I think it's important to recognize how normal that is for people with GAD!
Thank you! I was worried cause i have both anxiety and ocd which targets my relationship constantly and it's really hard to trust my instinct or "gut" cause it says whatever it wants at the moment.
same... I just figure that hey, man, it doesn't matter who's wrong and who's right. What matters is that you feel horrible. Something about the relationship is wrong, and you need to get out.
@Psych2Go The spiritual aspect is deep... While much of our modern society tells us everything is only by chance, I, being Christian, disagree. I believe there is an attachment in people that goes beyond what's physical and even what's psychological....ig a good word for it is *soulmates*
These days I'm taking my time to decide whether or not I should give up on my relationship. I have issues with some of the points mentioned (and personal issues as well) , but not with this one, and it's really messing me up. Even if I'm only 21, I can clearly see him as the father of my children. I honestly have no idea what the next step should be.
Vittoria V. When you marry someone, It can’t just be about if he’s father material, you need to also think about weather or not you’d be genuinely happy spending the rest of your life with him. Being married to someone that doesn’t make you happy is one of the worst things you can do to yourself (and your future kids if it comes to that.) think about the amount of issues you have with him and question if it’s something you can live with for the rest of your life. If the idea makes you cringe or give you any kind of a bad feeling, it’s a sign that they’re not the one and that it might be time to cut them off before it’s too late.
Psych2Go to put it simply, a happy marriage only works when a couple have a genuine friendship with each other. If you want a long lasting relationship then you can’t just date someone just to say that you’re dating, you need to make sure if the person your dating is someone you can be happy spending your life with. Couple’s that have strong friendships with each other can normally talk about marriage comfortably with each other. If that’s not something you & your partner are able to do without conflict or if the idea of marrying them makes you cringe at all, then that’s a big sign that they’re not the one.
@@karuymaru Yea, he is the best at creating a safe open communication for us. At first I was hesitatant because my ex always made me feel awful for being open or sharing my feeling. There are times I get anxious and worried. I have no idea what's going on. It just spirals out of control. I'm trying to manage it.
We have to listen to our gut when we innately feel that something is just "off". If we are constantly unhappy or stressed out, it's not worth it. We can find someone new eventually, or enjoy time with ourselves that is peaceful.
Trust your gut? Some ppl are paroniod trust their gut and are totally totally wrong about what they think and feel and still believe they are 100% sure right and true. But way off due to paroniod
@@saleapingahead But then, don't you think that, if the doubt keep up inside a person in the couple, it'll ruin the happiness of the couple itself in the long term? If you try to overcome it and eventually can't.
Two key, salient points: 1) BEFORE any relationship, we need to be the right person for us first! In a perfect world, right? Nearly impossible. And most of us can't wait 'til we're healed, conscious, emotionally intelligent, evolved, self-loving, etc. For a lot of us, that would be when we're in our 50's and 60's. Or never! 2) Another point: trusting one's gut is something we hear all the time, and the premise sounds good and makes sense. But we also all know the saying, "garbage in, garbage out. Data in, data out." If one has low self-esteem, had a wounded childhood and/or has lots of issues, is negative, fearful, angry, etc. that may color one's so-called "gut" and "instincts." It may be biased, colored, slanted, skewed, and not in a healthy, beneficial way or a way that's fair, rational, in touch with reality. Oh, our pesky egos creating all kinds of selfish, biased realities! (You can check with your family and friends for a "reality check." They know you, love you, and know your partner, hopefully, and are much more objective about it all. Ask them...and pay attention. Their guts may actually be a better barometer of what's really going on - with you, your partner, and your partnership.) Good luck! (And fair, or not, luck actually plays a HUGE role in whether you find/end up with the "right" partner. I have found that it's often chance and the luck of the draw for people finding the "right" person. Fate. Though we can certainly be proactive and do our best to prepare ourselves for these opportunities of good fortune...and I would strongly encourage all of us to work on that! Again, good luck! :-) )
I felt like I could relate to everything u Said.. after being in a couple toxic relationships I began to be more sceptical and expecting that anyone I'd date will hurt me again even tho my current boyfriend the nicest most respectful guy I've met My gut is quite confusing me rn
@@babymochii5999 Yes, it's complicated, especially if one has been burned a few times, especially if your instincts weren't in synch with reality. Hence, another layer of meaning to the term "gut check." Pay attention to those little voices, but also question with healthy skepticism. How much is truly accurate and how much is your skewed, fearful bias? Yes, perception often rules our lives. People live entire lives based on perceptions, flawed and otherwise, without ever pausing to try and change the channel, or their hard-wired script, or however you want to define it. I don't have any hard and fast answers, and advice is dicey, but try and write stuff down and look at it and ask those questions of yourself: "What am I feeling, and why? What reality is it based on? Mine? My partners? The reality "on the table?" Could I change my perception? Should I? What would that look at? Get feedback from trusted, safe friends, family, and maybe a counselor, if you have one. Here's hoping your current guy is the real McCoy and you don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, maybe the best baby you ever had... Good luck!
This made me feel a lot better but conflicted at the same time. I got into my first relationship (I’m 19, hes 24) and I’m constantly questioning our compatibility. I have a feeling we aren’t but considering this is my first relationship I don’t know if I’m just creating a problem when there isn’t one. Ive also struggled with mental illness for a while now and it’s difficult for me to be happy on my own. I don’t always feel satisfied by being with him but I love him and I want to try until I know for sure this isn’t right. It’s difficult for me to decide where the root of my doubt and dissatisfaction comes from. Whether it’s from the fact that it’s my first relationship and that I struggle with a mood disorder or if it really isn’t right. I don’t went to spend time in a relationship doomed to fail. But I don’t want to leave and then realize that I’d actually be better off with him. Relationships are hard.
@@bachsdmacncheese1182 Relationships ARE hard. Even the best ones; though I will say that two people who really care about each other, and aren't "in love with being in love" - a very common "affliction" in our society, especially (thanks Disney/Hollywood, pop songs, etc.) - are at least beginning to have some sense of their true selves, and can make best efforts to communicate, have an easier time of things. BUT, I've had partners leave me because they believed, mistakenly, that "true love" should just "flow," with no speed bumps. Yes, there is "flow" and "synchronicity" and all that, but there ARE speed bumps...and more! Just ask any couple that's been together for decades!!! You're 19. He's 24. You are both very young. Cut yourself some slack. Give yourself permission to have doubts. Question things. Really think about yourself, about him, your relationship and your life. (Which it sounds like you're doing already.) Do your best to be honest with yourself and him. You mentioned feeling conflicted. It's okay to hold conflicting feelings and mindsets. That's normal and healthy. Anyone who doesn't questions things is the one in trouble, in my book. (Not to be confused with faith. That's powerful too. We can be conflicted but have faith in certain things.) It's very brave of you to acknowledge your mood disorder. Good for you! Be grateful you're aware of it. Now, you can deal with it, and he can too. Take it from me; as someone who's had a proclivity for choosing partners with mood disorders and the like (bi-polar, borderline personality, narcissism, etc.), I'm a bit of an expert on this. It sucks, but it's treatable, actionable. Consciousness around that, and everything else, is KEY! It sounds like you're doing well in that department, which isn't always the case for people, especially young folks like you. So pat yourself on the back there. As for whether or not you're both the right match for each other, only YOU can decide; hopefully, a decision you can make together. But it's a never-ending process. Relationships are never signed, sealed, and delivered. It's a garden, that needs and takes tending, for a year or seventy years. Again, just ask the old folks. If you want to explore more about "match" and compatibility, permit me to make a few reading recommendations (and you may already have read some of these): "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Any of the many books by John Gottman about relationships. "What Makes Love Last" is excellent. "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" is also strong. Gottman, with his famous Gottman Institute, which is based in Seattle where I live, has applied science to the mysteries of love and his deductions, conclusions, and solutions are pretty incontrovertible. Harville Hendrix is another great relationship guru who believes that most healing work for ourselves can ONLY be done in relationship settings. So, if you've got the right, open, willing, empathetic partner, you've got a real chance. "Getting the Love You Want" is a good starting point. There are tons of relationship coaches (of varying quality) online too. My favs are Alan Robarge, Stephanie Lyn, Dr. Les Carter, Thais Gibson, to name a few. I sure wish I'd known about the five love languages when I was in my relationships. Everything might have turned out differently. I know couples who swear it changed their lives and saved their relationships! I've seen it. It works. Knowledge IS power. Obviously, many hundreds of entire books have been written about this, so there's no way I can come close here with all the ins and outs of this. You are so very young. So much life left. Though one never knows what the future holds...There are no guarantees, right? I've known couples in their 80's who married their high school sweethearts and have never looked back with a single regret. Well, maybe a few "what if" musings here and there. For some. But I know at least two couples who swear they never had any doubts. Lucky, lucky them, I say! Conversely, your true destiny could await you out there somewhere. As you said, this is your first relationship. Doesn't necessarily mean it's the wrong one, but it's a VERY valid point to question one's decision-making without more experiences. It IS limited. Like buying the first car you drive, to use a kinda crude analogy. BUT, some people are perfectly happy buying that first car and driving it as far as they can. I will tell you that one of the true, insidious, creeping evils of our society, with its advertising, "you-can-have-it-all," consumerism mindset, is this idea of "The Grass is Always Greener." It's not. 998 times out of 1,000, it's not, I have found. Hence, the lessons of so many books and movies. "The Wizard of Oz." "It's a Wonderful Life." "The Family Man," etc., etc., etc. Here's the good part; the scary, daunting, good part: YOU get to decide. I personally believe the choices we make are the most important things we do in life. Our choices ARE our lives! When I was your age, I didn't ask my family or friends for advice. Or, if I did, I pretty much ignored it. If it's one thing of true value I've learned in the fullness of time is ask for their advice and listen to it. They know and love you. They are not so close to things, and emotional about it all. They will give you loving, objective, valuable advice. I promise you. Doesn't mean you have to follow it. Again, that's your choice. But choose to ask. And think about this for your life: Einstein once said the single most important decision we make in our lives is whether we see the universe as a friendly or a hostile universe. You get to decide. Good luck! (Oh, and btw, luck has a lot to do with everything and most of that we have little to no control over. All we can do is have faith, appreciate how truly lucky we are - we don't have cancer, aren't in a wheelchair, aren't toiling in a diamond mine, etc. - and prepare ourselves for when luck brings us opportunities!)
Yea.I come from a stable loving home and I’ve never had to struggle for anything but I’m dating someone who has been disowned by her mother, abandoned by her father, been in abusive relationships, and has had to struggle. We bump head a lot because I don’t understand where she is coming from and vice versa. It’s really hard but if you are too different then you will clash
I'm with the wrong person, but I don't know how to end it. She's a sensitive girl-- so am I. I hate the idea of upsetting her, and we share practically all our friends, I'm scared I'll end up losing them in the process. I was so confident in us, but then i left the honeymoon phase and I've seen her flaws and I've tried, yet haven't been able to compromise. I'm struggling with this and I don't know how to go along with it.
2 things: honeymoon phase will end with EVERYONE. There are uncompromising flaw with all partners. Fear of hurting the other person might actually be the "love"
I was in this same boat knew it was wrong, then let my pushy parents and religious leaders push me into marrying. I had reservations before the wedding, and knew something was not right all through the honey moon. I know it was wrong and am waiting to move on. Until then it hasn't been what a relationship could or should be. I even started to think a true love wasn't possible, just lust. Now I have learned that true love exists and is possible if you are with the right one, but there's nothing I can do about it right now.. Don't run out and get married if too many feelings are missing. Its a not good to settle. And don't people push you into getting married if it isn't right.
I'm basically in the same boat as you. But rather than ending the relationship, have a proper heart to heart conversation with her. If you both love each other then I'm sure you guys can find a place to mend your relationship. Cause I'm thinking of doing the same thing. I love her too much to let things end. There are times when even a slight hi from her makes my day. But there are times when I feel like she's partially to blame for why my day's going rough.
I agree with Noobfolife. I was recently in a relationship and he was unable to communicate his feelings and issues in our relationship. He didn’t express these issues and feelings and he just ended the relationship. My biggest advice is COMMUNICATE. Do NOT end things before toh talk. Give it a week after you talk- if nothing changes then break it off. Good luck!!
You could be with the right person and still feel all of these things. Just came out of a break up with my most intimate friend - the one I loved over everything and everyone else; and that was the problem - I loved her more than I loved myself. As a result, I completely unattended other aspects of my life that made me happy, including myself. I started feeling dissatisfied with my personal life and extremely disconnected from myself - I had no personal friends, hobbies, passion projects, etc. I started feeling some of these surface-level symptoms that are mentioned in this video. I call them ''surface-level symptoms'' because they all point towards deeper reasons that are individual to each one of us. I understood nothing was wrong with her, but rather with me - I needed time and energy to balance myself. What a painful decision. I love her so much, but I need to learn how to love myself too before loving her (or anyone else). A quote I've held dear to my heart throughout this process is: ''You can't pour from an empty cup.'' I hope our paths cross once again, my love.
Man! I identify myself with your situation, I have a very nice girl, she's one in a million... but I want to be single, I need time for myself in all aspects.
Focus on yourself within the relationship and it will grow. You do not need to love yourself more than the other other person this is a massive misconception
I’ve somehow come back to this video after 9 months! I think it was very foolish to let this person go that you loved so much. Take it from someone who experienced all these things in a very happy secure relationship. Losing it will be the worst thing that ever happened to you
Another thing to note is that the problem could also be yourself. If you find yourself consistently unsatisfied in relationships, there may be something wrong.
I didn't realize these signs before. In my previous relationship I felt quite trapped, anxious and very sad, although I did not know why, the boy I was dating was very good to me and did not give me any bad reaction, but something deep inside me told me to move away, we just weren't compatible. Keep it up, I love watching your videos, they always help me a lot to get more information ✨
It could be that, subconsciously, you picked up on “small things” that “weren’t right.” Often it’s the little things that impact relationships over time. Another possibility is that you were out of your comfort zone in a relationship. This is probably very common. Many people are raised in single parent households and healthy intimate relationships aren’t modeled for us by our parents or families. We’re biologically programmed to be social beings and desire good quality mates but we have little or no “training” to 1) find a good mate and 2) build a good relationship with him. It’s normal to feel uncomfortable when you don’t know what you’re doing. Third...Some people just aren’t right for you. It’s not about a person’s good character and qualities or how well you’re treated. They’re not right for us on a biological level. Women are generally more sensitive than men and use their sensitivities in accepting or rejecting partners. A man’s body odors, his voice and the energies he directs at you are either comfortable or not. It’s not about good looks or sex appeal. Women can literally perceive a good (or bad) biological match. TLDR; don’t second guess yourself and trust your instincts and intuition.
Denhoz hey, I’m going through the same thing right now and was wondering if you had any advice because I’m kind of feeling stuck in my relationship. :(
There is a saying first love is the true love and it is also a mistake...It kind of makes you ready for future once you get over with it...But it is also a fact that you can never forget your first love but it does not hurt anymore...
I’m experiencing the exact same things. My boyfriend was sooo good to me, but I knew deep down we weren’t compatible and my gut was telling me to go. The hard part is breaking up and finding a good reason for them as to why you are breaking up... Nobody wants to be dumped and hearing that it was “their gut telling them to do so”...
@@lalalaalol just tell them you didn't feel a connection. Energy and connection is very important to me and when those things are off then clearly my body and mind are trying to tell me something
I'm happy in my relationship but sometimes question whether I should be with them. We think fundamentally different about core issues (politics, religion, philosophy, spirituality, etc.) yet we otherwise get along, have a lot of common interests, and enjoy each other's company. It's hard, because sometimes I feel like we can't even have certain conversations due to the possibility it will result in an argument.
CZ I’ve had similar thoughts and experience in the past. I always ended up thinking it would probably be more appropriate as a friendship. Just a thought.
Maybe you should try to talk to your partner about it.If it's true that you enjoy each other's company maybe they'll not change their beliefs but will try to accept yours and appreciate you for you(plus you'll feel relieved).It's just some advice though, just do what seems the best thing to do from your perspective :)
Core issues are some of the most fundamental parts of a relationship. A lot of the major life decisions that the two of you will make are heavily influenced by core values. Longtime you guys are not going to be able to make that work. You can't spend your relationship tip-toeing around major topics to avoid an argument.
I really liked this video as I’ve just entered my first real relationship and keep worrying about this topic. I don’t really relate to all the points and still feel confused - would love a video talking about the difference of being with the wrong person or someone just overthinking! Or maybe some tip videos for people that just started getting into relationships as I’m very confused as what to feel when and etc. Love your videos and can’t wait to see more!
Im going through that right now ! Im a very anxious person and ive felt doubt in all my relationships. I have a phase where im constantly asking if its right and right now its that phase and thats what sucks is that i dont know if im over thinking and being anxious or if its really not the relationship for me. Being quarantined has made my anxiety soooo bad so i want to say its just that but them im like well is it? Or is it more. 😔😔
I wanna say this is me aswell. It's only been barely a month, but I'm yet to feel that special feeling of "Yes I wanna be with this person for the rest of my life" other than that I love spending time with her, doing activities, I'm really attracted to her, but I'm waiting for the feeling and idk if we just need to be together a bit longer and maybe the feeling will come up. Someone please reply with thoughts on this, thanks 😊
@@gum3602 that feeling is something you build. If you’re with someone you like, and you treat each other well, make each other better people, and are compatible, that feeling will come. Give it some time.
@@aditopguy9785 just so that you could spoil her in the future. And she does this initially without her doing her part in supporting you in life whether its goals, cooking and other wife activities. So basically, she trying to turn you into her sugar daddy
@@chapdattext3167 i think you’re right maybe they do it to get you hooked. my gf was really into me in the beginning. She became less available as I became more invested. It took a huge toll on me mentally and I had to end it a few days ago. It’s difficult to let go because we did share a lot of good memories together but it’s the right thing to do
@@aditopguy9785 wow as im reading your comment I'm going through the exact same situation. Im very interested & put in all the effort in the relationship but then they became less available & busy as the weeks went by. It hurts & I'm not sure on what to do.
@@holaturtless i ended it last week. It’s a toxic situation. I suggest you read about narcissistic partners. I don’t know about your situation but this was the situation that I was in. A relationship is meant to make you happy. If it’s not making you happy you should end it. For me, ending the relationship was the right decision; the hard part is letting go but it’s for the best. Since I’ve ended it I’ve become a lot happier and my mental health is way better than before. I wish you the best :)
I used to binge your videos because I knew deep inside I was with the wrong person and after I finally broke up with him, I actually met someone who makes me feel the opposite of what all your videos say. ☺️I’m so happy and he is perfect in every way
In the past 25 years of my life I haven't met a person I was attracted to, because one of the big things I needed from a partner was to be understood. I finally found someone who relates to me and we are very similar, they bring me so much peace and love that I'm going to be there with them forever, even if our relationship doesn't work out, which I don't see happening.
My ex emotionally cheated on me within a month, she came to me and was talking about how there's this cute guy in her class. An engagement and five years later with my high-school sweetheart she ended up leaving me because of emotional cheating. The guy she ended up getting with though had a girlfriend, he just smashed and passed so I'm not too worried about it she got what she deserved.
I think you also need to be careful and not attribute feelings of unhappiness as a direct cause of your partner. The less you expect from a relationship the more 'happy' you'll be. Don't consider another person as your source for happiness - you'll be dissappointed 99% of the time at some point in the relationship.
I had this feeling of no butterflies since the beginning and it bothered me so much but I was told this same thing - it’s just the absence of anxiety. I dated the guy for a year and ended up breaking up because I could not get over the fact that I didn’t feel excited around him - and it very quickly led to physical attraction fading away . Maybe not all butterflies are anxiety
Omg that’s literally what I’m going through like I’ve never had any butterflies in my stomach really but I thought it was just cause I was over love or something but now I realize I’ve made a mistake I think
It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.
I'm facing significant relationship problems and can't stand the idea of losing him. My love and longing for my partner are profound, and I'm ready to do anything to restore our connection. I would greatly appreciate any advice or help you could give.
Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.
I just searched for Father Akunna online indeed he is a very generous man and the most powerful spell caster that I have ever seen he brought my husband back to me with so much love ❤
It takes work. Me and my boyfriend were very different people and so for a year we were deciding if we would go forward. In this relationship it was so hard to adapt, but we would communicate everything. I would question if we were even right for each other so many times. In relationships you learn, and you put in the effort if you really want something to work out, if we didn't even try we would've cut it off long time ago. I really think it depends on if you're willing to put in the effort and change parts of yourself to fit with the other person.
Was it from the beginning easy tho? That seems to be the main advice I hear that you somehow need to have at least a year of honeymoon easy fun times.. Which sounds impossible to me. I learned things never go easy and I have been shaped in a way that can't be fixed easily I've had therapy already a lot. So I believe there need to be room to have insecurities, make mistakes and to learn and grow with eachother. Especially if you are very different things will be difficult before you find ways to grow to eachother I imagine. How did you guys meet?
@@kithalie honestly you can't imagine how stress relieving that answer is (even if I fully understand it doesn't mean much for my couple itself haha) thank you for taking the time out of your day! I truly hope everything continues to go well in your relationship and who knows, maybe that mindset can spread to mine as well 😊
1. you have to ask them to love you based on your love language 2. they don't want to learn your love language 3. they use what makes you feel loved as a burden 4. they tell you they cant love you because you don't love them how they want to be loved (selfish) 5. they don't compromise anything for you but will compromise everything for anyone else 6. they use their negativity as a sign of power in their own life and try to use it on you 7. they belittle your existence and need for love "because you're a man and men can't ask for love" 8. they get defensive when they are being held accountable for their negative behavior 9. they carry a grandiose demeanor about them. If they do one thing for you, you owe them 100 times over 10. they don't take your words with skepticism but take everyone else's word as gospel 11. when you take the time to read and learn and they dismiss you because you're not a specialist 12. when they say your kid is a mistake 13. when they pay someone to do their degree for them and then brag that they work hard knowing it was ill gotten 14. when they hold on to bad times in the past and refuse to grow as a defense tactic to avoid acknowledging they are the issue in present time 15. when you say you are not feeling loved and they get mad when you show them proof 16. when in the bedroom, they are lifeless and unenthusiastic and say, "at least you get something" 17. when they place more value in inanimate objects than actual love and affection 18. when you can count the number of days the love will fade after you bought them something and they revert back to their normal self 19. when they have a drug/alcohol problem 20. when they speak openly in front you to a friend that they are jealous of their sisters family life because they live in paris and now you feel poor 21. when they are concerned more of the outside image of the marriage when inside the house, they are nasty and judgemental 22. when you try to guide and lead the family away from ignorance and they respond with "what? you're not perfect" 23. when they use the word "perfect" as a guise to hide that they understand that they are being ignorant but would rather try to put you down 24. when they refuse to grow emotionally 25. when they refuse to understand what it means to grow emotionally 26. when they would rather you leave the marriage and break up the family than to learn and comprehend what it means to love someone 27. when they have expectations of you being there for them when they cant be bothered to be there for you because they dont have an interest 28. when they are lazy but blame you for nothing exciting happening in their life 29. when they think they are not responsible for loving you when they are married to you 30. whey they assume they don't have to love you because you are married together and effort does not need to continue past this point 31. when sex is only initiated when they want it but when you want it, they cant be bothered 32. when you're only staying in the marriage because you don't want to leave the kids 33. when the kids are too young to know how toxic their parent is but when they get older and see it for themselves, you stress in trying to figure out what you will tell them so they too don't grow to hate their parent even though it is inevitable 34. when your first marriage was better than your second 35. when you cant get them to comprehend that being loved is ok and there shouldn't be so many rules in place when you just want to say "I love you" 36. when you cant bring yourself to naturally say "I love you" because you don't love their behavior 37. when you don't feel they are deserving of the things they have because they are not grateful beings 38. when you know they dont want to to be in the marriage but lie to your face which brings you false hope that maybe you two can learn something to last 39. when your in laws are even more ignorant so even if you do gain ground in connection, you run the risk of that being removed because your spouse changes when the in laws are on the phone, in person, or just in thought 40. when you are blamed for the lack of relationship between your mom and yourself because they were abusive and because of that lack of relationship, your spouse gives up on loving you since your mom gave up on loving you 41. when you are trying to break the mold of toxic male-isms but your spouse is so conditioned for it that she challenges you as to why you're NOT like that 42. when you worry that your child will grow up to be as ignorant as their mom so you stay in the marriage to be that last bit of hope to raise them right or at least be a filter to block that toxic female-isms The list can continue but you get the idea. After years of being married to a person, if you still have to ask to be loved in a manner that actually makes you feel loved because you've only experienced it for a short time in your life since you were abused and know what is good and what is not for YOURSELF, and they don't want to entertain that because its a burden to them, they are NOT someone you should be with.
Numbers 2 and 4 are a little contraditory... I believe both should learn each other's love language. Number 2 says that, but in number 4 it seems that the other part also wants to be loved by her language, but tou say It is selfiness... Didn't get this part... :/
I feel the same. Something has been off since we met.. but I always took it as just being nervous, we've been together over a year and I still sometimes have that "off feeling".
When I met my Boyfriend, I was really happy but i also had that "off" feeling, I thought it was just that I don't know him that well and over time it will get better but it didn't. He was also very loving an everything but apparently he felt the same and we broke it off. It hurt a lot but now I am kinda happy because I doubt it would have been a happy relationship in the long run
Neither. We weren't a good fit. Broke up 2 months ago. I miss him. . However, something tells me we wouldn't be happy if we kept trying! Specifically because his personality is the opposite of mine.
I would wonder if this is something that might be applied differently to those of us with anxiety. I started out this way when I was dating my now wife. I have come to realize with that was that part of my anxiety with her and other people I was with in the past was because I was comparing them to an unrealistic perfect person in my head as well as my unrealistic expectations of how blissful I thought a relationship should be. As time went on though and as I communicated with her, I worked through my negative thought processes and I decided to marry her. I still get anxious thoughts when we have disagreements but at the end of the day, when my mind is at ease, I know that she is the one. So my take away, question your feelings and see if maybe you can see if there is something going on with you other than the relationship, if you are anxious like me, working through those emotions with your partner rather than tossing the whole thing might help you find the right person. Because that is exactly what happened with me. Best of luck :)
Perfectly describes me and my now-husband. I’ve found that having a schizophrenic mother lead to much relational anxiety later in life, but I knew I was with the “right” person when he was willing to work with me on those anxieties.
I was in an abusive relationship for 2.5 years (I’ve been out of it for over a year now and with someone else that makes me extremely happy) I connected to almost all of these points looking back, and honestly really wish I had seen this back them. Definitely would have saved me years of depression!
I can relate to that. I wish I would’ve broken up with them sooner. It would have saved me much heartbreak and stress, and mental health issues. I suffer from trauma today.
Doesn't really help you're always forced to repress how you feel about literally everything in your life because no one gives a damn about how you feel. You're supposed to be the way the world wants you to be. You're not allowed to have different opinions, be yourself, vent when you need to, or dispute others behavior towards you.
@@Ultimate23Dragon repression are not forced. They're a natural ego defence mechanism to give you a false sense of protection. You can definitely get through your repressions, through mindfulness, psychedelic therapy...
@@TomWatkinsTV forcefulness can turn into this after a while because you start losing yourself and don't know who you really are anymore and since you've repressed so much and thinks that the world hates who you are, you turn into a different person while repressing your first identity. If that makes any sense. But I'm also just speaking from experience
I’m here because I really want to make sure my man isn’t unhappy with me but then I remembered how we just hung out recently and he told me I looked good. He looked happy. He put his arm around me . He texted me after we both left to make sure I was home safe and he touched me under my chin which is his sign of affection. He has gone out of his way to make me happy. Im just worried about how I impact him. I just want him to be happy.
Are YOU happy? That's what's important. I spent two years trying to make my guy happy and in the end I realized I didn't have that power. Frankly I don't even have the power to make myself happy but I surely don't have the power to make someone else happy. If he isn't happy he'll let you know. In the meantime work on making yourself happy because if he leaves it will be easier for you to hold yourself together instead of falling apart
I'm starting to think I'm just too messed up to feel happy. Instead of feeling happy and excited i feel sad and always worried and stressed. I'm sure it has to do with my childhood abuse i went through and it's sad to think that i will never feel happy. Relationships and love in general just triggers my anxiety :(
I broke up with my boyfriend last night, i've thought about it for a long time and this video really help me realise that this isn't healthy. I'm constantly anxious around him. I've never felt comfortable. I can't be myself around him. We never fought because i never bring up anything negative that might lead to an argument. I felt so trapped
I guess mine would be that I feel alone, I’m always the one texting first everyday and we basically just say how are you and how’s work. One day I didn’t text at all and we actually didn’t talk for two days so I guess we aren’t really anything.
that’s exactly how i feel. i don’t have anyone to talk to about this, and i don’t really know how to stop it without hurting feelings ;-; how did it go with you?
African Wild Dog mines going well, we did talk I told him that I felt like he was very distant and I told him how I felt. He’s easier to start a conversation with now than before, but he does like he’s space so I try to be away and patient. He’s actually started calling me to talk and we do keep a nice conversation. I think it’s just that he had to get more comfortable with me. But he still likes to have space not much of a cuddle though sometimes he will come to me for it. Try to see things he’s point of view to better understand
I broke up today because she couldn't meet up to my expectations and she was not willing to give any effort to the relationship, and all of the sudden she started telling me she doesn't feel any emotions and feelings towards me anymore.
#psych2go QUESTION: I have never experienced love in my life. My parents were emotionally unavailable my childhood, never had good friends, never had gf. SO for me the concept of love is still a question to me. I really dont understand love. SInce i dont know love, i dont know how to love other and most important how to love myself. They say you need to self love. And to self love you need self awarness and self accptance. But i am having really had time finding who i am really. I know what my weakness and strenghts are and my likes and dislike are. but still there is something more i wanted to connect to deep inside me. Can you please please give any word of advice or video to find and connect to my deepest level? Thank you.
Are you currently journaling? What about finding a coach or a mentor online? It's great that you already shared your concerns here cause now you will attract the help you need even if it's not from us. Maybe another member can also reply to you?
@@Psych2go what should i journal? My feelings? My reactions to events? What should i do? And yes i am seeking a psychologist. She is great doctor but still something is missing....
With the similarities, it’s a little more difficult than that imo. My fiancé and i are similar, but we also grew up differently and have different insights on some things. I also see him as my best friend because we can be silly together and have fun, and we both keep it open, to where we can express ourselves, even the negative
My gut instinct and my intuition is spot on. I just left my girlfriend last night because she gave me the worst gut feelings and im not the type to really be jealous or insecure. She also was very combative, If she wanted to talk to me about something it was nice and easy but if I wanted to talk to her about something, instant arguing and defending herself. Add in a handful of shady situations that made my stomach curl and I couldn’t take it anymore. She didn’t respect me and I kept pushing the relationship because I wanted to make it work. Now she is begging me to stay and saying she will do better but its too late. Should have tried hard before the relationship getting to this point. Im hurt and its hard but I know this is the right decision
I experienced a few of these with my ex, we were very similar in terms of lifestyle, food, hobbies, fitness etc. but we were very different on core values such as money and kids. I think we could have been great friends but we didn't tick the boxes needed for a relationship, which resulted in me having to end it
My therapist gave me a really helpful exercise. Write down all the benefits of staying in the relationship, and all the negatives. Then write down all the benefits of leaving, and the negatives. Then write down if these are short term or long term effects. Obviously you're just making your best guess, but it really helped to put things into perspective
The biggest sign were my dreams my subconscious gave me. I never had that in former relationships! In the 5 years of relationshit, I had dreams of how my partner ignored me instead his friends were more important, or I was aggressive towards him and screamed, he rejected me, those dreams were so weird, but now my therapist and I figured out why that relationship didn't work: I felt insecurity, from the beginning, when I was jealous or I told him what I thought he never answered with straight lines to calm me down what's usually normal when you love someone. Stuff like "Don't worry, you are the only one I love' or something like that, never. But to his defense, he wasn't so talkactive like me what's important when you have to discuss something, to develop together....wasn't the right person for me, but maybe for another.
One crazy important thing is: please, don't trust your gut if you're mentally unstable. Anxiety has a couple million ways to completely fuck up a relationship. Work on communication. Open up, tell them about your anxious thoughts and let them help you in the healing process. This way you can have a strong and honest foundation for a beautiful relationship.. or find out that your partner isn't right for you.
The worst thing about this is losing a best friend. Its not only about losing a partner. Its losing a person that has exactly the same interests and same humor and knows everything about you. Especially when not having friends that are on the same friendship level like your partner was. Idk what to do about it.
this is really to think about !! These videos help. thanks ! what you said makes total sense . I'm sensitive thx to natural drops from my best friend eve . spanish fly boosted my energy and everything after only 5 drops . great results
i wanted to make surprise my wife and bought for myself these natural aphrodisiacs spanish fly . and yeah just 5 drops and everything is pretty different in a positive way
I recently started dating someone and he’s been wonderful but the change has brought up a lot of my past trauma, my low self-esteem, and my insecurities, and it’s also making my anxiety spike. It’s really hard to distinguish my mental illness thoughts and my genuine feelings toward him.
Yesterday I asked him " If we break up, would you be sad or upset if I'm with another man?" He replied saying: "If you still care and hang out with me I would not be very sad" After a year with him I discovered that he loved the emotional support I provided, he didn't love me, my heart is so broken especially when I remember every time I begged for his attention, he hasn't bought me a single flower this whole time
I could sense the wounds and the deep insecurity in him from the beginning. He turned out to be somewhat cruel and emotionally abusive. Felt like I was sinking into a dark, cold vortex. Spent many days sad, anxious, and confused. So glad I finally left that sociopath.
Been having a hard time deciding to go for a couple of relationships. There’s a lot of backstory and convoludedness to it but there has been tons of doubts running through my head. This fortunately gave me a reason to finally say “no.”
As an overthinker, I agree with every single one of these because in the beginning and during of my relationship there were red flags. I'm kind of afraid to be open around my partner at times based on how he was mean in the beginning. He's okay now but I honestly feel unappreciated and unhappy... and at the same time I feel bad if I were to break up with him because of the relationship I'm in with my mom where she's a narcissist and I'm having the fear of being alone with her because its hard-to-find good people you can be with nowadays who accept you and your situation and will be there for you always... 😥
Im currently with my boyfriend but Im thinning of breaking up with him. Like you there were also red flags in the beginning, but got better (because I talked to him about it). But every now and then there are thighs about him that piss me off. So I think I'm going to break up with him, I'm tired of trying and I think he's just not the one. However he is a wonderful person and loves me very much. I really don't want to hurt him. Am I overthinking all of this?
This is my current relationship. I work a job that destroys my soul one hour at a time and still find more peace there then when I go home to my girlfriend. I'm settling but don't know how to break free
I’m currently 22 years old. (turning 23 this year). I’ve had a 3 and a half year relationship (that got toxic towards the end) and then half a year later I got into a 2 year relationship that I’m still in currently. With this one I have doubts if I’m “falling out of love” with him. Or if my mind is just saying I should be alone for a while since I’ve been in serious relationships since I was 16. Interesting that despite the previous toxic relationship, I didn’t have these doubts... 🤔
1) Constantly unhappy✅ Felt held back , going out on dates constantly for her not for myself , always arguments in the end of those dates. 2) Not willing to compromise ✅ Couldn’t adapt my life to her negative traits, it was becoming detrimental to myself. 3) Partner is not conscientious✅ She was very lazy, a distraction, went against my morals and path towards personal growth. 4) Highly neurotic and lower agreeableness ✅ Very sad and depressed. Never agreed to everything we argued about. 5) Too similar ✅ We both haven’t healed from our traumas , we were both crazy for love and attention. Our similarities kept us from developing into better versions of ourselves. Bonus: 6) Gut ✅ Trust your gut it’s always 100%!
1. Constantly unhappy. Check. Contempt building up. 2. High levels of stress...check. 3. Expection no being met ... check 4. You know problems at very beginning. Check. So many issues...stonewallin, 5. Gutt feeling. Check. Totally. 6.=Not conscientious. Checks. All about her and lazy 7. Too similar ..nope not an issue. 8. not same values .. totally check. Need to break up////
i love him but as a friend, and i'm so scared to hurt him by breaking up with him so idk what to do...i'm also very mentally ill so idk if i should actually trust my gut or if i'm just crazy and overthinking things??
How come you love him only as a friend? I think you just said you love him because you don’t want to hurt his feelings when you’re in a dating stage. You can’t just have relationship with someone and say “I love you” without making sure you really love the person. Are you happier the time you were single? If so, you need to talk to him about what you feel towards him. You’ll hurt him, for now. But i guess it’s the best for both of you so that you both have time to heal one another.
Sometimes I get a strong gut feeling to break up with my GF especially after an argument in which I feel we don't get each other and then disrespects me somehow, and this pain lasts a few days. Like she doesn't listen to me in these situations rather she makes up her own narrative in her own head then projects that on to me completely dismissing (or not listening) to anything I had just said... and continuing to take things out of context to (i guess) "win" the argument. Sometimes I feel like I'm better off not talking because it's just 'easier". Once i recover from the pain of the argument, then we are very loving, she is thoughtful and affectionate. Seems she gets past it faster than me. We argue probably on average once every 3 weeks. What do you think?
I think you should tell her exactly what you just wrote. You sit her down and you tell her not to talk, no comments, only listen. Ask her to try and empatize with you, ask her to try and be in your shoes for a second and explain to her how it makes you feels to be talked down. Don't be condescending towards her because it will create more conflict and she won't listen. Tell her that you feel you cannot confide to her because of that and you would like that to change. If she refuses to communicate then this is gonna go on until you become miserable and don't wait for that to happen. Relationships are not one way. I've been there.
I can feel you, same shit happens to me as well and she projects her OUT OF CONTEXT Stuffs when I try to talk to her with logic. But yeah idk where this relationship is taking us . We fight 3 times a week . Is it normal?
In that case I’d play along with each of my options by trial and error. Remember you don’t have all the time to think, but even acting on nothing is a choice. Move on from whatever methods don’t feel right and keep trying.
I've also been quite indecisive in my life and I've found that meditating and breathing helps to regain focus. We become indecisive because we're afraid of messing things up leading to decision paralysis. By remembering to focus on breathing we are able to detach from our thoughts and tune in. Most importantly, just give it time. We're not becoming a whole different person in a day but the joy lies in day to day victories. Happy healing to you all❤️
Thank you. I was in a dilemma whether i have taken the right decision or not even realising he was a nice person. YES, i was with the wrong person. I found it earlier and saved both of us. Good luck and keep faith everyone ❤️
I'm always afraid to happen to love the wrong guy that's why I'm single so far. I'm so scare to fall in love But it's OK if that's gonna happen bc everyone even the wrong people deserve love. I will always L💚VE only one person Even if there's separation . Cause I only have one heart.
People don't get it. They think someone else should make them happy. So when their partner doesn't make them happy, they think it's their partner's fault. No. It is not someone else's job to make you happy. You have to find your own happiness, whether or not you have a partner in your life.
This video helped. I am studying psychology. Sometimes bias gets in the way and it’s hard to get out of your own head. I am an over thinker and an introvert lol. It’s great to have this pocket psych book on common occurrences in society. Keep it up. You are doing great
What's your favorite Netflix series? Comment below!
The OA but it's discontinued. Thanks for asking. What's yours?
BoJack
family guy B)
not netflix but i love the handmaid's tale
Stranger Things.
*When you*
- Feel drained on energy, instead of being invigorated
- Don't sense any passion, instead more like a friendship
- Ask yourself "Are we compatible?"
Woah, how did you read my mind?
woah you just exposed at lot. Thank you
Really needed to see this, thank you once again🙏🏼
How do u tell him/her w/o any heavy feeling
My ex told me he felt like we were just friends. Most painful thing ever. Hurt so much I ran away when he said it and never spoke again.
1- You’re constantly unhappy
2- You’re experiencing high levels of stress
3- You’re expectations aren’t being met
4- You knew there were problems at the very beginning
5- Your gut tells you something is off, but you can’t seem to pinpoint it
6- Your partner doesn’t seem very conscientious
7- You're too similar
6 out of 7
Yep all boxes checked.
Thank you.
Thx
6 out of 7
when you feel chronically misunderstood. I'd rather be alone than feel lonely in a relationship because the other person just does not understand you
Stuck in a relationship like this currently
Omg samee
No one understands me. Lol. Not even the Siri on the dance phone! Story of my life!
Exactly 💯
@@Portia620*^ damned . 😂🫥🤩
I think it's important to note that doubt is normal in a relationship, especially after the honeymoon stage. You will see your partner's flaws and have to decide if you can learn to adapt to what you perceive as shortcomings. Also, for those with anxiety, it can be hard to differentiate generalized stress and anxiety from your relationship. A lot of the times, our anxiety targets our relationship because our loved one is at the forefront of our mind, not because there's anything wrong with the relationship. Step back and look at the facts; don't rely on intuition.
This is my problem I have general anxiety, and I cant tell if the anxiety that I'm feeling towards the relationship is justifiable or not. I wasn't thinking of this but it hit me halfway through watching the video
@@diegoanimations9504 Yeah. I notice that when my anxiety is particularly bad, it inflames my relationship doubt, simply because my partner is on my mind so much. After three years with this person, I know that I'm in a very healthy, happy, and stable relationship, but I have to be careful not to make any rash decisions or judgements when my anxiety spikes. I think it's important to recognize how normal that is for people with GAD!
Thank you! I was worried cause i have both anxiety and ocd which targets my relationship constantly and it's really hard to trust my instinct or "gut" cause it says whatever it wants at the moment.
Thank you for this
Thank you so much for saying this. Seriously.
Worst part is when you're unsure if you're just a self sabotager or if theres something actually wrong. I wish I had clarity over which one it is.
same... I just figure that hey, man, it doesn't matter who's wrong and who's right. What matters is that you feel horrible. Something about the relationship is wrong, and you need to get out.
I feel the same way
I've asked myself this a million times in the last two months
Me too
@@eatsalad728 i needed that. thanks😢
Can’t be with the wrong person if you’re not even with a person in the first place
Exactly.
200 IQ
Truth💣💯
Sad and True
Andy-Matter IQ 3000
I relate to the first three ones, but the problem is me creating problems and scenarios in my head and being too idealistic. I wish it could stop.
Same, I think I don't deserve love.
@mélo same.😔
@@marthapadillam92 same.😔
oh me too 😔
Same!
Sounds like I shouldn't be with myself anymore. Well...
Sounds like a plan. ;)
Same
@@Psych2go This sounds darker than you think
@@Psych2go don't know if you got that the right way 🤨
Same.
"Did you enjoy this video?" Why of course, I enjoy suffering.
Who doesn't?!
😂😂😂
Those signs is me😔
😅
😆😆
8. You can’t see yourself marrying them or wanting to marry them.
This becomes a huge one when you can understand the spiritual logic of marriage.
That's a big sign. Did you want to elaborate on the spiritual part?
@Psych2Go
The spiritual aspect is deep...
While much of our modern society tells us everything is only by chance, I, being Christian, disagree.
I believe there is an attachment in people that goes beyond what's physical and even what's psychological....ig a good word for it is *soulmates*
These days I'm taking my time to decide whether or not I should give up on my relationship. I have issues with some of the points mentioned (and personal issues as well) , but not with this one, and it's really messing me up. Even if I'm only 21, I can clearly see him as the father of my children. I honestly have no idea what the next step should be.
Vittoria V. When you marry someone, It can’t just be about if he’s father material, you need to also think about weather or not you’d be genuinely happy spending the rest of your life with him. Being married to someone that doesn’t make you happy is one of the worst things you can do to yourself (and your future kids if it comes to that.) think about the amount of issues you have with him and question if it’s something you can live with for the rest of your life. If the idea makes you cringe or give you any kind of a bad feeling, it’s a sign that they’re not the one and that it might be time to cut them off before it’s too late.
Psych2Go to put it simply, a happy marriage only works when a couple have a genuine friendship with each other. If you want a long lasting relationship then you can’t just date someone just to say that you’re dating, you need to make sure if the person your dating is someone you can be happy spending your life with. Couple’s that have strong friendships with each other can normally talk about marriage comfortably with each other. If that’s not something you & your partner are able to do without conflict or if the idea of marrying them makes you cringe at all, then that’s a big sign that they’re not the one.
its hard when you have growth mindset and your partner have fixed mindset and no willingness at all to grow
That's a huge one but highly underestimated
This... wanting to grow is not somethings everyone has.
U just described my relationship.
Most of the time people claiming that they have a growth mindset and their partner don't, are just complete delusional assholes.
PERIODTT!!!!
Who here is single as a pringle? Comment below. You might just find your next love.
I'm single
Solo as a Rolo.
Cant get a date.
I'm the definition of single but i don't care lol i like being single
Me 😧
I'm single like a pencil
me: _in a happy and healthy relationship with my boyfriend_
my anxiety: *p r e s s*
Inbox Mr. Andrew now on +14782730478(WhatsApp ) or text him on (631) 912-4899 to caught you cheating partner, he is good and legit
Me too ahahaha
me but with my gf
Me too
Me too!
I want to trust my gut. But my gut also be like "I think you too crazy sometimes, you need to relax" lmfao 🤷♀️
this!!
Same... people have told me I over think. So is it the relationship or is it me? Or is it both? I need help =(
@@ashleymartz6066 honestly I feel that. Have you tried talking to your partner? Lol I always try to but I don't think he understands it
@@karuymaru Yea, he is the best at creating a safe open communication for us. At first I was hesitatant because my ex always made me feel awful for being open or sharing my feeling. There are times I get anxious and worried. I have no idea what's going on. It just spirals out of control. I'm trying to manage it.
@@ashleymartz6066 stay strong 🙏💙 hope you can resolve this dilemma
I left my husband last week. I know I made the right decision, but I’m still in so much pain 😔
Well done, that can't have been easy but the healing can start now. I hope you have support around you x
K-Alkali-Metal 19 thank you for your kind words
Well you took a decision..You got to stand by it or else you will be doubting yourself
i did with my SO as well
i hope you’re doing okay.
HER VOICE IS SO SOOTHING.
Glad you love her voice! She's our main VO!
Psych2Go kaizjdhdyiwiskxjjz yeesssssss
That’s so interesting. I find it quite irritating. It’s no reflection on her but it reminds me of ASMR and I find ASMR has me scratching up the walls.
Lex Morningstar same i hate asmr too but i love her voice
@@Lexmorningstarnz Could just be that ASMR is not your thing =/
We have to listen to our gut when we innately feel that something is just "off". If we are constantly unhappy or stressed out, it's not worth it. We can find someone new eventually, or enjoy time with ourselves that is peaceful.
Do you suggest starting over is better than hanging on to something that you know is no longer worth it?
Trust your gut? Some ppl are paroniod trust their gut and are totally totally wrong about what they think and feel and still believe they are 100% sure right and true. But way off due to paroniod
I completely agree. We should listen to our gut and not let anyone tell us how we should feel.
The society we live in now where its easier to replace something than put some graft into it....
@@saleapingahead But then, don't you think that, if the doubt keep up inside a person in the couple, it'll ruin the happiness of the couple itself in the long term? If you try to overcome it and eventually can't.
Two key, salient points:
1) BEFORE any relationship, we need to be the right person for us first! In a perfect world, right? Nearly impossible. And most of us can't wait 'til we're healed, conscious, emotionally intelligent, evolved, self-loving, etc. For a lot of us, that would be when we're in our 50's and 60's. Or never!
2) Another point: trusting one's gut is something we hear all the time, and the premise sounds good and makes sense. But we also all know the saying, "garbage in, garbage out. Data in, data out." If one has low self-esteem, had a wounded childhood and/or has lots of issues, is negative, fearful, angry, etc. that may color one's so-called "gut" and "instincts." It may be biased, colored, slanted, skewed, and not in a healthy, beneficial way or a way that's fair, rational, in touch with reality. Oh, our pesky egos creating all kinds of selfish, biased realities! (You can check with your family and friends for a "reality check." They know you, love you, and know your partner, hopefully, and are much more objective about it all. Ask them...and pay attention. Their guts may actually be a better barometer of what's really going on - with you, your partner, and your partnership.)
Good luck! (And fair, or not, luck actually plays a HUGE role in whether you find/end up with the "right" partner. I have found that it's often chance and the luck of the draw for people finding the "right" person. Fate. Though we can certainly be proactive and do our best to prepare ourselves for these opportunities of good fortune...and I would strongly encourage all of us to work on that! Again, good luck! :-) )
I felt like I could relate to everything u Said.. after being in a couple toxic relationships I began to be more sceptical and expecting that anyone I'd date will hurt me again even tho my current boyfriend the nicest most respectful guy I've met
My gut is quite confusing me rn
@@babymochii5999 Yes, it's complicated, especially if one has been burned a few times, especially if your instincts weren't in synch with reality. Hence, another layer of meaning to the term "gut check." Pay attention to those little voices, but also question with healthy skepticism. How much is truly accurate and how much is your skewed, fearful bias? Yes, perception often rules our lives. People live entire lives based on perceptions, flawed and otherwise, without ever pausing to try and change the channel, or their hard-wired script, or however you want to define it.
I don't have any hard and fast answers, and advice is dicey, but try and write stuff down and look at it and ask those questions of yourself: "What am I feeling, and why? What reality is it based on? Mine? My partners? The reality "on the table?" Could I change my perception? Should I? What would that look at?
Get feedback from trusted, safe friends, family, and maybe a counselor, if you have one.
Here's hoping your current guy is the real McCoy and you don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, maybe the best baby you ever had...
Good luck!
Thank you so much for your help this is exactly what I needed to hear
This made me feel a lot better but conflicted at the same time. I got into my first relationship (I’m 19, hes 24) and I’m constantly questioning our compatibility. I have a feeling we aren’t but considering this is my first relationship I don’t know if I’m just creating a problem when there isn’t one. Ive also struggled with mental illness for a while now and it’s difficult for me to be happy on my own. I don’t always feel satisfied by being with him but I love him and I want to try until I know for sure this isn’t right. It’s difficult for me to decide where the root of my doubt and dissatisfaction comes from. Whether it’s from the fact that it’s my first relationship and that I struggle with a mood disorder or if it really isn’t right. I don’t went to spend time in a relationship doomed to fail. But I don’t want to leave and then realize that I’d actually be better off with him. Relationships are hard.
@@bachsdmacncheese1182 Relationships ARE hard. Even the best ones; though I will say that two people who really care about each other, and aren't "in love with being in love" - a very common "affliction" in our society, especially (thanks Disney/Hollywood, pop songs, etc.) - are at least beginning to have some sense of their true selves, and can make best efforts to communicate, have an easier time of things.
BUT, I've had partners leave me because they believed, mistakenly, that "true love" should just "flow," with no speed bumps. Yes, there is "flow" and "synchronicity" and all that, but there ARE speed bumps...and more! Just ask any couple that's been together for decades!!!
You're 19. He's 24. You are both very young. Cut yourself some slack. Give yourself permission to have doubts. Question things. Really think about yourself, about him, your relationship and your life. (Which it sounds like you're doing already.) Do your best to be honest with yourself and him. You mentioned feeling conflicted. It's okay to hold conflicting feelings and mindsets. That's normal and healthy. Anyone who doesn't questions things is the one in trouble, in my book. (Not to be confused with faith. That's powerful too. We can be conflicted but have faith in certain things.)
It's very brave of you to acknowledge your mood disorder. Good for you! Be grateful you're aware of it. Now, you can deal with it, and he can too. Take it from me; as someone who's had a proclivity for choosing partners with mood disorders and the like (bi-polar, borderline personality, narcissism, etc.), I'm a bit of an expert on this. It sucks, but it's treatable, actionable. Consciousness around that, and everything else, is KEY! It sounds like you're doing well in that department, which isn't always the case for people, especially young folks like you. So pat yourself on the back there.
As for whether or not you're both the right match for each other, only YOU can decide; hopefully, a decision you can make together. But it's a never-ending process. Relationships are never signed, sealed, and delivered. It's a garden, that needs and takes tending, for a year or seventy years. Again, just ask the old folks.
If you want to explore more about "match" and compatibility, permit me to make a few reading recommendations (and you may already have read some of these): "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. Any of the many books by John Gottman about relationships. "What Makes Love Last" is excellent. "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" is also strong. Gottman, with his famous Gottman Institute, which is based in Seattle where I live, has applied science to the mysteries of love and his deductions, conclusions, and solutions are pretty incontrovertible. Harville Hendrix is another great relationship guru who believes that most healing work for ourselves can ONLY be done in relationship settings. So, if you've got the right, open, willing, empathetic partner, you've got a real chance. "Getting the Love You Want" is a good starting point.
There are tons of relationship coaches (of varying quality) online too. My favs are Alan Robarge, Stephanie Lyn, Dr. Les Carter, Thais Gibson, to name a few.
I sure wish I'd known about the five love languages when I was in my relationships. Everything might have turned out differently. I know couples who swear it changed their lives and saved their relationships! I've seen it. It works. Knowledge IS power.
Obviously, many hundreds of entire books have been written about this, so there's no way I can come close here with all the ins and outs of this. You are so very young. So much life left. Though one never knows what the future holds...There are no guarantees, right?
I've known couples in their 80's who married their high school sweethearts and have never looked back with a single regret. Well, maybe a few "what if" musings here and there. For some. But I know at least two couples who swear they never had any doubts. Lucky, lucky them, I say!
Conversely, your true destiny could await you out there somewhere. As you said, this is your first relationship. Doesn't necessarily mean it's the wrong one, but it's a VERY valid point to question one's decision-making without more experiences. It IS limited. Like buying the first car you drive, to use a kinda crude analogy. BUT, some people are perfectly happy buying that first car and driving it as far as they can. I will tell you that one of the true, insidious, creeping evils of our society, with its advertising, "you-can-have-it-all," consumerism mindset, is this idea of "The Grass is Always Greener." It's not. 998 times out of 1,000, it's not, I have found. Hence, the lessons of so many books and movies. "The Wizard of Oz." "It's a Wonderful Life." "The Family Man," etc., etc., etc.
Here's the good part; the scary, daunting, good part: YOU get to decide.
I personally believe the choices we make are the most important things we do in life. Our choices ARE our lives! When I was your age, I didn't ask my family or friends for advice. Or, if I did, I pretty much ignored it. If it's one thing of true value I've learned in the fullness of time is ask for their advice and listen to it. They know and love you. They are not so close to things, and emotional about it all. They will give you loving, objective, valuable advice. I promise you. Doesn't mean you have to follow it. Again, that's your choice. But choose to ask.
And think about this for your life: Einstein once said the single most important decision we make in our lives is whether we see the universe as a friendly or a hostile universe. You get to decide.
Good luck! (Oh, and btw, luck has a lot to do with everything and most of that we have little to no control over. All we can do is have faith, appreciate how truly lucky we are - we don't have cancer, aren't in a wheelchair, aren't toiling in a diamond mine, etc. - and prepare ourselves for when luck brings us opportunities!)
sign you're with the wrong person : you're doubting it by watching this vid.
Hahahahah yup
):
Lightsai :/
Don't call me out like this 🤣😭
Or your like me and have clinical OCD
I believe that being too different should be added or having almost no things in common
I agree
Me and my girl we only have mental health issues in common and I worry about our future so much it would hurt me so much to let her go😢
Yea.I come from a stable loving home and I’ve never had to struggle for anything but I’m dating someone who has been disowned by her mother, abandoned by her father, been in abusive relationships, and has had to struggle. We bump head a lot because I don’t understand where she is coming from and vice versa. It’s really hard but if you are too different then you will clash
We have nothing in common
I'm with the wrong person, but I don't know how to end it. She's a sensitive girl-- so am I. I hate the idea of upsetting her, and we share practically all our friends, I'm scared I'll end up losing them in the process. I was so confident in us, but then i left the honeymoon phase and I've seen her flaws and I've tried, yet haven't been able to compromise. I'm struggling with this and I don't know how to go along with it.
2 things: honeymoon phase will end with EVERYONE. There are uncompromising flaw with all partners. Fear of hurting the other person might actually be the "love"
I was in this same boat knew it was wrong, then let my pushy parents and religious leaders push me into marrying. I had reservations before the wedding, and knew something was not right all through the honey moon. I know it was wrong and am waiting to move on. Until then it hasn't been what a relationship could or should be. I even started to think a true love wasn't possible, just lust. Now I have learned that true love exists and is possible if you are with the right one, but there's nothing I can do about it right now.. Don't run out and get married if too many feelings are missing. Its a not good to settle. And don't people push you into getting married if it isn't right.
I'm basically in the same boat as you.
But rather than ending the relationship, have a proper heart to heart conversation with her. If you both love each other then I'm sure you guys can find a place to mend your relationship.
Cause I'm thinking of doing the same thing. I love her too much to let things end. There are times when even a slight hi from her makes my day. But there are times when I feel like she's partially to blame for why my day's going rough.
Better to end it now than later. It will stop wasting time. You can’t worry about what others will think
I agree with Noobfolife. I was recently in a relationship and he was unable to communicate his feelings and issues in our relationship. He didn’t express these issues and feelings and he just ended the relationship. My biggest advice is COMMUNICATE. Do NOT end things before toh talk. Give it a week after you talk- if nothing changes then break it off. Good luck!!
i have a feeling i'm with the wrong person, he doesn't reach my expectations and it causes me a lot of stress
Inbox Mr. Andrew now on +14782730478(WhatsApp ) or text him on (631) 912-4899 to caught you cheating partner, he is good and legit
What did you do? Do you have any advise?
*7 Signs You May be with the Wrong Person:*
1. They put Oreos on Pizzas
ANYTHING ELSE? ADD TO THIS LIST GUYS.
Yep. That’s a deal breaker!
Daaaamn 👀 What kinda heathens you dating over there?!
@someones_takako *backs away slowly* 😂
*_Nah, thAT'S THE RIGHT PERSON!!!_*
You could be with the right person and still feel all of these things. Just came out of a break up with my most intimate friend - the one I loved over everything and everyone else; and that was the problem - I loved her more than I loved myself. As a result, I completely unattended other aspects of my life that made me happy, including myself. I started feeling dissatisfied with my personal life and extremely disconnected from myself - I had no personal friends, hobbies, passion projects, etc. I started feeling some of these surface-level symptoms that are mentioned in this video. I call them ''surface-level symptoms'' because they all point towards deeper reasons that are individual to each one of us.
I understood nothing was wrong with her, but rather with me - I needed time and energy to balance myself. What a painful decision. I love her so much, but I need to learn how to love myself too before loving her (or anyone else).
A quote I've held dear to my heart throughout this process is: ''You can't pour from an empty cup.''
I hope our paths cross once again, my love.
Growth can happen in relationships. Especially if you’re self aware enough to identify the problem.
Man! I identify myself with your situation, I have a very nice girl, she's one in a million... but I want to be single, I need time for myself in all aspects.
You could have worked on yourself with that person.
Focus on yourself within the relationship and it will grow. You do not need to love yourself more than the other other person this is a massive misconception
I’ve somehow come back to this video after 9 months! I think it was very foolish to let this person go that you loved so much. Take it from someone who experienced all these things in a very happy secure relationship. Losing it will be the worst thing that ever happened to you
Another thing to note is that the problem could also be yourself. If you find yourself consistently unsatisfied in relationships, there may be something wrong.
I didn't realize these signs before. In my previous relationship I felt quite trapped, anxious and very sad, although I did not know why, the boy I was dating was very good to me and did not give me any bad reaction, but something deep inside me told me to move away, we just weren't compatible.
Keep it up, I love watching your videos, they always help me a lot to get more information ✨
It could be that, subconsciously, you picked up on “small things” that “weren’t right.” Often it’s the little things that impact relationships over time.
Another possibility is that you were out of your comfort zone in a relationship. This is probably very common. Many people are raised in single parent households and healthy intimate relationships aren’t modeled for us by our parents or families. We’re biologically programmed to be social beings and desire good quality mates but we have little or no “training” to 1) find a good mate and 2) build a good relationship with him. It’s normal to feel uncomfortable when you don’t know what you’re doing.
Third...Some people just aren’t right for you. It’s not about a person’s good character and qualities or how well you’re treated. They’re not right for us on a biological level. Women are generally more sensitive than men and use their sensitivities in accepting or rejecting partners. A man’s body odors, his voice and the energies he directs at you are either comfortable or not. It’s not about good looks or sex appeal. Women can literally perceive a good (or bad) biological match.
TLDR; don’t second guess yourself and trust your instincts and intuition.
Denhoz hey, I’m going through the same thing right now and was wondering if you had any advice because I’m kind of feeling stuck in my relationship. :(
There is a saying first love is the true love and it is also a mistake...It kind of makes you ready for future once you get over with it...But it is also a fact that you can never forget your first love but it does not hurt anymore...
I’m experiencing the exact same things. My boyfriend was sooo good to me, but I knew deep down we weren’t compatible and my gut was telling me to go. The hard part is breaking up and finding a good reason for them as to why you are breaking up... Nobody wants to be dumped and hearing that it was “their gut telling them to do so”...
@@lalalaalol just tell them you didn't feel a connection. Energy and connection is very important to me and when those things are off then clearly my body and mind are trying to tell me something
I'm happy in my relationship but sometimes question whether I should be with them. We think fundamentally different about core issues (politics, religion, philosophy, spirituality, etc.) yet we otherwise get along, have a lot of common interests, and enjoy each other's company. It's hard, because sometimes I feel like we can't even have certain conversations due to the possibility it will result in an argument.
CZ I’ve had similar thoughts and experience in the past. I always ended up thinking it would probably be more appropriate as a friendship. Just a thought.
Maybe you should try to talk to your partner about it.If it's true that you enjoy each other's company maybe they'll not change their beliefs but will
try to accept yours and appreciate you for you(plus you'll feel relieved).It's just some advice though, just do what seems the best thing to do from your perspective :)
that's y i didnt wanna click on this video ajdjfjejjf my partner makes me happy but there r some things im concerned abt
@@ac0rps32 same.
Core issues are some of the most fundamental parts of a relationship. A lot of the major life decisions that the two of you will make are heavily influenced by core values. Longtime you guys are not going to be able to make that work. You can't spend your relationship tip-toeing around major topics to avoid an argument.
You’re with the Wrong Person if you’ve watched 5 Psych to Go Videos, like I just Did.
Same lol
Dang
Should I leave himM
The "right person" can only be the right person when it's two people choosing each other
I really liked this video as I’ve just entered my first real relationship and keep worrying about this topic. I don’t really relate to all the points and still feel confused - would love a video talking about the difference of being with the wrong person or someone just overthinking! Or maybe some tip videos for people that just started getting into relationships as I’m very confused as what to feel when and etc. Love your videos and can’t wait to see more!
Im going through that right now ! Im a very anxious person and ive felt doubt in all my relationships. I have a phase where im constantly asking if its right and right now its that phase and thats what sucks is that i dont know if im over thinking and being anxious or if its really not the relationship for me. Being quarantined has made my anxiety soooo bad so i want to say its just that but them im like well is it? Or is it more. 😔😔
I wanna say this is me aswell. It's only been barely a month, but I'm yet to feel that special feeling of "Yes I wanna be with this person for the rest of my life" other than that I love spending time with her, doing activities, I'm really attracted to her, but I'm waiting for the feeling and idk if we just need to be together a bit longer and maybe the feeling will come up. Someone please reply with thoughts on this, thanks 😊
@@gum3602 that feeling is something you build. If you’re with someone you like, and you treat each other well, make each other better people, and are compatible, that feeling will come. Give it some time.
Here's another sign:
Your partner starts becoming too clingy initially even when you're not putting any effort into the relationship
How is that a red flag though?
@@aditopguy9785 just so that you could spoil her in the future.
And she does this initially without her doing her part in supporting you in life whether its goals, cooking and other wife activities.
So basically, she trying to turn you into her sugar daddy
@@chapdattext3167 i think you’re right maybe they do it to get you hooked. my gf was really into me in the beginning. She became less available as I became more invested. It took a huge toll on me mentally and I had to end it a few days ago. It’s difficult to let go because we did share a lot of good memories together but it’s the right thing to do
@@aditopguy9785 wow as im reading your comment I'm going through the exact same situation. Im very interested & put in all the effort in the relationship but then they became less available & busy as the weeks went by. It hurts & I'm not sure on what to do.
@@holaturtless i ended it last week. It’s a toxic situation. I suggest you read about narcissistic partners. I don’t know about your situation but this was the situation that I was in. A relationship is meant to make you happy. If it’s not making you happy you should end it. For me, ending the relationship was the right decision; the hard part is letting go but it’s for the best. Since I’ve ended it I’ve become a lot happier and my mental health is way better than before. I wish you the best :)
I used to binge your videos because I knew deep inside I was with the wrong person and after I finally broke up with him, I actually met someone who makes me feel the opposite of what all your videos say. ☺️I’m so happy and he is perfect in every way
In the past 25 years of my life I haven't met a person I was attracted to, because one of the big things I needed from a partner was to be understood. I finally found someone who relates to me and we are very similar, they bring me so much peace and love that I'm going to be there with them forever, even if our relationship doesn't work out, which I don't see happening.
My ex emotionally cheated on me within a month, she came to me and was talking about how there's this cute guy in her class. An engagement and five years later with my high-school sweetheart she ended up leaving me because of emotional cheating. The guy she ended up getting with though had a girlfriend, he just smashed and passed so I'm not too worried about it she got what she deserved.
I broke up with my bf yesterday as I was getting through these things for a month and now I feel a lot better.
I feel you. I broke up with my husband 3 days ago. Hugs and light to you. I was in the same place.
@@maevependragon Thank you! ❤️
There are things my bf does that don't let me picture myself with him forever. But he is a great person and I don't know what to do :c any advise?
@@lidia9283 Ask him all the questions to know all the answers you are scared to know and then decide what is best for you!
Im still with my boyfriend. But i do have alot of unhappiness and depression because of the incidents with my parents
So like unresolved issues getting into the relationship?
@@Psych2go yes.
Username and comment checks out
@@carsoncavanaugh780 ??
Gamerbro me too! I don’t know what to do because I don’t know what’s the right choice to make :(
I think you also need to be careful and not attribute feelings of unhappiness as a direct cause of your partner. The less you expect from a relationship the more 'happy' you'll be. Don't consider another person as your source for happiness - you'll be dissappointed 99% of the time at some point in the relationship.
I know of a great powerful love spell caster that can manifest your ex back within 48hours without no delay
十𝟮𝟯𝟰8139934468⏭⏭⏭⏭_^_;
I had this feeling of no butterflies since the beginning and it bothered me so much but I was told this same thing - it’s just the absence of anxiety. I dated the guy for a year and ended up breaking up because I could not get over the fact that I didn’t feel excited around him - and it very quickly led to physical attraction fading away . Maybe not all butterflies are anxiety
Omg that’s literally what I’m going through like I’ve never had any butterflies in my stomach really but I thought it was just cause I was over love or something but now I realize I’ve made a mistake I think
@@Aiden_Baarshave you broken up with them now? 🥺
@@damiakinlaja6164 yeah
It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.
I'm facing significant relationship problems and can't stand the idea of losing him. My love and longing for my partner are profound, and I'm ready to do anything to restore our connection. I would greatly appreciate any advice or help you could give.
Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.
I'II quickly search for him online. Thank you.
I'm optimistic that taking this approach will yield results for me as well; his absence is keenly felt.
I promise you will not regret it.
I just searched for Father Akunna online indeed he is a very generous man and the most powerful spell caster that I have ever seen he brought my husband back to me with so much love ❤
The sad thing : i experience all of this even without having in relationship!
Love yourself before loving someone else. It's the only way.
@@jugemujugemugokonosurikire4735 Then we'll be alone until the end of universe because it's been 20 years I try to love myself. YEY
@@etiinceelle
Love Spider-Man , He never leaves u alone , He will web and crawl into ur room if u feel alone
Waiting for ur reply
I see. What do you plan to do to change that?
@@Psych2go for now i try to engage myself into other activities like listening to music n all....also try to stay connected with friends.
It takes work. Me and my boyfriend were very different people and so for a year we were deciding if we would go forward. In this relationship it was so hard to adapt, but we would communicate everything. I would question if we were even right for each other so many times. In relationships you learn, and you put in the effort if you really want something to work out, if we didn't even try we would've cut it off long time ago. I really think it depends on if you're willing to put in the effort and change parts of yourself to fit with the other person.
Was it from the beginning easy tho? That seems to be the main advice I hear that you somehow need to have at least a year of honeymoon easy fun times.. Which sounds impossible to me. I learned things never go easy and I have been shaped in a way that can't be fixed easily I've had therapy already a lot. So I believe there need to be room to have insecurities, make mistakes and to learn and grow with eachother. Especially if you are very different things will be difficult before you find ways to grow to eachother I imagine. How did you guys meet?
Still together?
@@marcbenoite6481 yes :)
@@kithalie honestly you can't imagine how stress relieving that answer is (even if I fully understand it doesn't mean much for my couple itself haha) thank you for taking the time out of your day! I truly hope everything continues to go well in your relationship and who knows, maybe that mindset can spread to mine as well 😊
We r willing to put effort but idk what effort should I put :(
All of these signs apply to my ex. I'm finally ending it & I feel relieved, it hurts more to be in an unhealthy relationship than being single 😞
So did u ended up with him? It's been a year now....
How are you doing now????🌹💓 Hope you're happy and healthy!
Being single doesn't usually hurt
@@BrightAnwarnope I’m not in contact with him anymore
@@4TLOLthank you for asking I’m doing much better! ☺️💗
I believe it’s better to be without someone than to be with the wrong one
1. you have to ask them to love you based on your love language
2. they don't want to learn your love language
3. they use what makes you feel loved as a burden
4. they tell you they cant love you because you don't love them how they want to be loved (selfish)
5. they don't compromise anything for you but will compromise everything for anyone else
6. they use their negativity as a sign of power in their own life and try to use it on you
7. they belittle your existence and need for love "because you're a man and men can't ask for love"
8. they get defensive when they are being held accountable for their negative behavior
9. they carry a grandiose demeanor about them. If they do one thing for you, you owe them 100 times over
10. they don't take your words with skepticism but take everyone else's word as gospel
11. when you take the time to read and learn and they dismiss you because you're not a specialist
12. when they say your kid is a mistake
13. when they pay someone to do their degree for them and then brag that they work hard knowing it was ill gotten
14. when they hold on to bad times in the past and refuse to grow as a defense tactic to avoid acknowledging they are the issue in present time
15. when you say you are not feeling loved and they get mad when you show them proof
16. when in the bedroom, they are lifeless and unenthusiastic and say, "at least you get something"
17. when they place more value in inanimate objects than actual love and affection
18. when you can count the number of days the love will fade after you bought them something and they revert back to their normal self
19. when they have a drug/alcohol problem
20. when they speak openly in front you to a friend that they are jealous of their sisters family life because they live in paris and now you feel poor
21. when they are concerned more of the outside image of the marriage when inside the house, they are nasty and judgemental
22. when you try to guide and lead the family away from ignorance and they respond with "what? you're not perfect"
23. when they use the word "perfect" as a guise to hide that they understand that they are being ignorant but would rather try to put you down
24. when they refuse to grow emotionally
25. when they refuse to understand what it means to grow emotionally
26. when they would rather you leave the marriage and break up the family than to learn and comprehend what it means to love someone
27. when they have expectations of you being there for them when they cant be bothered to be there for you because they dont have an interest
28. when they are lazy but blame you for nothing exciting happening in their life
29. when they think they are not responsible for loving you when they are married to you
30. whey they assume they don't have to love you because you are married together and effort does not need to continue past this point
31. when sex is only initiated when they want it but when you want it, they cant be bothered
32. when you're only staying in the marriage because you don't want to leave the kids
33. when the kids are too young to know how toxic their parent is but when they get older and see it for themselves, you stress in trying to figure out what you will tell them so they too don't grow to hate their parent even though it is inevitable
34. when your first marriage was better than your second
35. when you cant get them to comprehend that being loved is ok and there shouldn't be so many rules in place when you just want to say "I love you"
36. when you cant bring yourself to naturally say "I love you" because you don't love their behavior
37. when you don't feel they are deserving of the things they have because they are not grateful beings
38. when you know they dont want to to be in the marriage but lie to your face which brings you false hope that maybe you two can learn something to last
39. when your in laws are even more ignorant so even if you do gain ground in connection, you run the risk of that being removed because your spouse changes when the in laws are on the phone, in person, or just in thought
40. when you are blamed for the lack of relationship between your mom and yourself because they were abusive and because of that lack of relationship, your spouse gives up on loving you since your mom gave up on loving you
41. when you are trying to break the mold of toxic male-isms but your spouse is so conditioned for it that she challenges you as to why you're NOT like that
42. when you worry that your child will grow up to be as ignorant as their mom so you stay in the marriage to be that last bit of hope to raise them right or at least be a filter to block that toxic female-isms
The list can continue but you get the idea. After years of being married to a person, if you still have to ask to be loved in a manner that actually makes you feel loved because you've only experienced it for a short time in your life since you were abused and know what is good and what is not for YOURSELF, and they don't want to entertain that because its a burden to them, they are NOT someone you should be with.
Hope get a divorce ❤
Numbers 2 and 4 are a little contraditory... I believe both should learn each other's love language. Number 2 says that, but in number 4 it seems that the other part also wants to be loved by her language, but tou say It is selfiness... Didn't get this part... :/
When they start to scream about *putting the body lotion inside the bucket/basket...*
Call it a hunch.
Any other key signs that you guys feel should be added?
Or they get mad about putting bodylotion on my hands in bed...
When it threatens to hurt Precious. Don't hurt Precious!!
i dont think im ever gonna be with the right person.
i have a really loving boyfriend,and i love him too, but it just doesnt feel right..
I feel the same.
Something has been off since we met.. but I always took it as just being nervous, we've been together over a year and I still sometimes have that "off feeling".
When I met my Boyfriend, I was really happy but i also had that "off" feeling, I thought it was just that I don't know him that well and over time it will get better but it didn't. He was also very loving an everything but apparently he felt the same and we broke it off. It hurt a lot but now I am kinda happy because I doubt it would have been a happy relationship in the long run
@@stephanieh5478 is it down to your own anxiety or lack of self esteem?
Neither.
We weren't a good fit.
Broke up 2 months ago.
I miss him. . However, something tells me we wouldn't be happy if we kept trying!
Specifically because his personality is the opposite of mine.
@@stephanieh5478 why werent you a good fit?
Who came here even though you don’t have a lover 😂🤣
👍😉😊😑😔😢😭
Me lmao 😂
People love me but I don't love anybody lmao
Me, I have never been in a relationship before, and being/feeling alone and lonely is a terrible feeling/thing.
Obviously me lol
I would wonder if this is something that might be applied differently to those of us with anxiety. I started out this way when I was dating my now wife. I have come to realize with that was that part of my anxiety with her and other people I was with in the past was because I was comparing them to an unrealistic perfect person in my head as well as my unrealistic expectations of how blissful I thought a relationship should be. As time went on though and as I communicated with her, I worked through my negative thought processes and I decided to marry her. I still get anxious thoughts when we have disagreements but at the end of the day, when my mind is at ease, I know that she is the one. So my take away, question your feelings and see if maybe you can see if there is something going on with you other than the relationship, if you are anxious like me, working through those emotions with your partner rather than tossing the whole thing might help you find the right person. Because that is exactly what happened with me. Best of luck :)
Perfectly describes me and my now-husband. I’ve found that having a schizophrenic mother lead to much relational anxiety later in life, but I knew I was with the “right” person when he was willing to work with me on those anxieties.
I was in an abusive relationship for 2.5 years (I’ve been out of it for over a year now and with someone else that makes me extremely happy) I connected to almost all of these points looking back, and honestly really wish I had seen this back them. Definitely would have saved me years of depression!
I can relate to that. I wish I would’ve broken up with them sooner. It would have saved me much heartbreak and stress, and mental health issues. I suffer from trauma today.
Just be conscious of your repressions. Plays a huge part in behaviour and attraction.
True
Doesn't really help you're always forced to repress how you feel about literally everything in your life because no one gives a damn about how you feel. You're supposed to be the way the world wants you to be. You're not allowed to have different opinions, be yourself, vent when you need to, or dispute others behavior towards you.
@@Ultimate23Dragon repression are not forced. They're a natural ego defence mechanism to give you a false sense of protection. You can definitely get through your repressions, through mindfulness, psychedelic therapy...
@@Ultimate23Dragon i relate to this
@@TomWatkinsTV forcefulness can turn into this after a while because you start losing yourself and don't know who you really are anymore and since you've repressed so much and thinks that the world hates who you are, you turn into a different person while repressing your first identity. If that makes any sense. But I'm also just speaking from experience
My friend told me she got engaged just now
And I got this notification and I am single
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I’m here because I really want to make sure my man isn’t unhappy with me but then I remembered how we just hung out recently and he told me I looked good. He looked happy. He put his arm around me . He texted me after we both left to make sure I was home safe and he touched me under my chin which is his sign of affection. He has gone out of his way to make me happy. Im just worried about how I impact him. I just want him to be happy.
Are YOU happy? That's what's important. I spent two years trying to make my guy happy and in the end I realized I didn't have that power. Frankly I don't even have the power to make myself happy but I surely don't have the power to make someone else happy. If he isn't happy he'll let you know. In the meantime work on making yourself happy because if he leaves it will be easier for you to hold yourself together instead of falling apart
Talk to your partner about how you feel
Oh my gosh so true I’m currently experiencing these things… so accurate. Thanks for the video ! This really help my current relationship
I'm starting to think I'm just too messed up to feel happy. Instead of feeling happy and excited i feel sad and always worried and stressed. I'm sure it has to do with my childhood abuse i went through and it's sad to think that i will never feel happy. Relationships and love in general just triggers my anxiety :(
I can relate to you. I am experiencing the same thing. I guess the way we are brought up messes us up a whole lot. Hugs!
I don't even think about having a relationship but I still watching....
So.. what did you learn from this video?
@@Psych2go i maybe learned that you shouldn't always have hopes for someone before 100% knowing they are the one
but im wayy too unforgiving and i do love her its just idk sometimes i feel like theres someone out there thats a better fit for me
What did you do? Do you have any advise?
I broke up with my boyfriend last night, i've thought about it for a long time and this video really help me realise that this isn't healthy. I'm constantly anxious around him. I've never felt comfortable. I can't be myself around him. We never fought because i never bring up anything negative that might lead to an argument. I felt so trapped
I guess mine would be that I feel alone, I’m always the one texting first everyday and we basically just say how are you and how’s work. One day I didn’t text at all and we actually didn’t talk for two days so I guess we aren’t really anything.
I’m sorry.
that’s exactly how i feel. i don’t have anyone to talk to about this, and i don’t really know how to stop it without hurting feelings ;-; how did it go with you?
African Wild Dog mines going well, we did talk I told him that I felt like he was very distant and I told him how I felt. He’s easier to start a conversation with now than before, but he does like he’s space so I try to be away and patient. He’s actually started calling me to talk and we do keep a nice conversation. I think it’s just that he had to get more comfortable with me. But he still likes to have space not much of a cuddle though sometimes he will come to me for it. Try to see things he’s point of view to better understand
Pepe Lele tysm and im glad things are going well!
putting this on recommendation while I'm having doubts is already a big sign ma'am
I broke up today because she couldn't meet up to my expectations and she was not willing to give any effort to the relationship, and all of the sudden she started telling me she doesn't feel any emotions and feelings towards me anymore.
#psych2go QUESTION: I have never experienced love in my life. My parents were emotionally unavailable my childhood, never had good friends, never had gf. SO for me the concept of love is still a question to me. I really dont understand love. SInce i dont know love, i dont know how to love other and most important how to love myself. They say you need to self love. And to self love you need self awarness and self accptance. But i am having really had time finding who i am really. I know what my weakness and strenghts are and my likes and dislike are. but still there is something more i wanted to connect to deep inside me. Can you please please give any word of advice or video to find and connect to my deepest level? Thank you.
Are you currently journaling? What about finding a coach or a mentor online? It's great that you already shared your concerns here cause now you will attract the help you need even if it's not from us. Maybe another member can also reply to you?
Drink some ayauhasca we love u on youtube bro xo
@@Psych2go what should i journal? My feelings? My reactions to events? What should i do? And yes i am seeking a psychologist. She is great doctor but still something is missing....
@@LilMatrixBeats Have you brought this up with your physiologist? If you haven't you should talk to them about it
@@LilMatrixBeats pscilosybin
All 7 signs match... My gut feelings tell me that I am with wrong person since 4yrs
With the similarities, it’s a little more difficult than that imo. My fiancé and i are similar, but we also grew up differently and have different insights on some things. I also see him as my best friend because we can be silly together and have fun, and we both keep it open, to where we can express ourselves, even the negative
Just hearing your voice eliminate half of stress and anxiety, your friends are so lucky to have you around. !!!
My gut instinct and my intuition is spot on. I just left my girlfriend last night because she gave me the worst gut feelings and im not the type to really be jealous or insecure. She also was very combative, If she wanted to talk to me about something it was nice and easy but if I wanted to talk to her about something, instant arguing and defending herself. Add in a handful of shady situations that made my stomach curl and I couldn’t take it anymore. She didn’t respect me and I kept pushing the relationship because I wanted to make it work. Now she is begging me to stay and saying she will do better but its too late. Should have tried hard before the relationship getting to this point. Im hurt and its hard but I know this is the right decision
Her word: Listen to your gut
Me: I want to stay single, virgin, and more loving my self.
Same
I experienced a few of these with my ex, we were very similar in terms of lifestyle, food, hobbies, fitness etc. but we were very different on core values such as money and kids. I think we could have been great friends but we didn't tick the boxes needed for a relationship, which resulted in me having to end it
"The perfect couple can only be made from a sadist and a masochist" ~unknown
My therapist gave me a really helpful exercise. Write down all the benefits of staying in the relationship, and all the negatives. Then write down all the benefits of leaving, and the negatives. Then write down if these are short term or long term effects. Obviously you're just making your best guess, but it really helped to put things into perspective
The biggest sign were my dreams my subconscious gave me. I never had that in former relationships! In the 5 years of relationshit, I had dreams of how my partner ignored me instead his friends were more important, or I was aggressive towards him and screamed, he rejected me, those dreams were so weird, but now my therapist and I figured out why that relationship didn't work: I felt insecurity, from the beginning, when I was jealous or I told him what I thought he never answered with straight lines to calm me down what's usually normal when you love someone. Stuff like "Don't worry, you are the only one I love' or something like that, never. But to his defense, he wasn't so talkactive like me what's important when you have to discuss something, to develop together....wasn't the right person for me, but maybe for another.
One crazy important thing is: please, don't trust your gut if you're mentally unstable. Anxiety has a couple million ways to completely fuck up a relationship. Work on communication. Open up, tell them about your anxious thoughts and let them help you in the healing process. This way you can have a strong and honest foundation for a beautiful relationship.. or find out that your partner isn't right for you.
Oh boy, here I go breakin' up again..
Don’t worry out it plays 🔥
Don’t worry about it playa!🔥 u gone be alright.*
The worst thing about this is losing a best friend. Its not only about losing a partner. Its losing a person that has exactly the same interests and same humor and knows everything about you. Especially when not having friends that are on the same friendship level like your partner was. Idk what to do about it.
the thing i try to remember is actions speak louder than words. if their actions don't match up with their words, its time to leave.
this is really to think about !! These videos help. thanks ! what you said makes total sense . I'm sensitive thx to natural drops from my best friend eve . spanish fly boosted my energy and everything after only 5 drops . great results
i wanted to make surprise my wife and bought for myself these natural aphrodisiacs spanish fly . and yeah just 5 drops and everything is pretty different in a positive way
I love someone, but we're not together, because he doesn't feel the same way 🤷🏾♀️
Unrequited feeling is also a sign .. sometimes it makes more sense to just focus on self and move on to someone else..
Same same. Finally let go a few days ago. So difficult. More difficult than my exams.😁😬😁😬😁
@@Psych2go I know, but I can't avoid him and he won't let me go.
I recently started dating someone and he’s been wonderful but the change has brought up a lot of my past trauma, my low self-esteem, and my insecurities, and it’s also making my anxiety spike. It’s really hard to distinguish my mental illness thoughts and my genuine feelings toward him.
Yesterday I asked him " If we break up, would you be sad or upset if I'm with another man?" He replied saying: "If you still care and hang out with me I would not be very sad" After a year with him I discovered that he loved the emotional support I provided, he didn't love me, my heart is so broken especially when I remember every time I begged for his attention, he hasn't bought me a single flower this whole time
I could sense the wounds and the deep insecurity in him from the beginning. He turned out to be somewhat cruel and emotionally abusive. Felt like I was sinking into a dark, cold vortex. Spent many days sad, anxious, and confused.
So glad I finally left that sociopath.
Be with yourself. That way, you always are with the right person!
Been having a hard time deciding to go for a couple of relationships. There’s a lot of backstory and convoludedness to it but there has been tons of doubts running through my head. This fortunately gave me a reason to finally say “no.”
As an overthinker, I agree with every single one of these because in the beginning and during of my relationship there were red flags. I'm kind of afraid to be open around my partner at times based on how he was mean in the beginning. He's okay now but I honestly feel unappreciated and unhappy... and at the same time I feel bad if I were to break up with him because of the relationship I'm in with my mom where she's a narcissist and I'm having the fear of being alone with her because its hard-to-find good people you can be with nowadays who accept you and your situation and will be there for you always... 😥
Im currently with my boyfriend but Im thinning of breaking up with him. Like you there were also red flags in the beginning, but got better (because I talked to him about it). But every now and then there are thighs about him that piss me off. So I think I'm going to break up with him, I'm tired of trying and I think he's just not the one. However he is a wonderful person and loves me very much. I really don't want to hurt him. Am I overthinking all of this?
This is my current relationship. I work a job that destroys my soul one hour at a time and still find more peace there then when I go home to my girlfriend. I'm settling but don't know how to break free
Like just popped right after my break up and the video just made it so clear it was good to end it.
Inbox Mr. Andrew now on +14782730478(WhatsApp ) or text him on (631) 912-4899 to caught you cheating partner, he is good and legit
Sign 1: They don't play Minecraft
What else? LOL
Loool 🤣👌🏽
@Érrør Àlex cracked Minecraft?!
I know I suffered badly, but I was in the wrong place in the long run........
was it worth it? no...
**screams**
8. The idea of leaving your partner, as hurtful as it might seem, feels liberating.
Definitely does
I’m currently 22 years old. (turning 23 this year). I’ve had a 3 and a half year relationship (that got toxic towards the end) and then half a year later I got into a 2 year relationship that I’m still in currently. With this one I have doubts if I’m “falling out of love” with him. Or if my mind is just saying I should be alone for a while since I’ve been in serious relationships since I was 16.
Interesting that despite the previous toxic relationship, I didn’t have these doubts... 🤔
Same happened to me, i think if you ever feel out of love then it's the time to end it
@@dulanisiyara5684are you sri Lankan
1) Constantly unhappy✅
Felt held back , going out on dates constantly for her not for myself , always arguments in the end of those dates.
2) Not willing to compromise ✅
Couldn’t adapt my life to her negative traits, it was becoming detrimental to myself.
3) Partner is not conscientious✅
She was very lazy, a distraction, went against my morals and path towards personal growth.
4) Highly neurotic and lower agreeableness ✅
Very sad and depressed.
Never agreed to everything we argued about.
5) Too similar ✅
We both haven’t healed from our traumas , we were both crazy for love and attention. Our similarities kept us from developing into better versions of ourselves.
Bonus:
6) Gut ✅
Trust your gut it’s always 100%!
1. Constantly unhappy. Check. Contempt building up.
2. High levels of stress...check.
3. Expection no being met ... check
4. You know problems at very beginning. Check. So many issues...stonewallin,
5. Gutt feeling. Check. Totally.
6.=Not conscientious. Checks. All about her and lazy
7. Too similar ..nope not an issue.
8. not same values .. totally check.
Need to break up////
i love him but as a friend, and i'm so scared to hurt him by breaking up with him so idk what to do...i'm also very mentally ill so idk if i should actually trust my gut or if i'm just crazy and overthinking things??
How come you love him only as a friend? I think you just said you love him because you don’t want to hurt his feelings when you’re in a dating stage. You can’t just have relationship with someone and say “I love you” without making sure you really love the person. Are you happier the time you were single? If so, you need to talk to him about what you feel towards him. You’ll hurt him, for now. But i guess it’s the best for both of you so that you both have time to heal one another.
Sometimes I get a strong gut feeling to break up with my GF especially after an argument in which I feel we don't get each other and then disrespects me somehow, and this pain lasts a few days. Like she doesn't listen to me in these situations rather she makes up her own narrative in her own head then projects that on to me completely dismissing (or not listening) to anything I had just said... and continuing to take things out of context to (i guess) "win" the argument. Sometimes I feel like I'm better off not talking because it's just 'easier".
Once i recover from the pain of the argument, then we are very loving, she is thoughtful and affectionate. Seems she gets past it faster than me.
We argue probably on average once every 3 weeks.
What do you think?
I think you should tell her exactly what you just wrote. You sit her down and you tell her not to talk, no comments, only listen. Ask her to try and empatize with you, ask her to try and be in your shoes for a second and explain to her how it makes you feels to be talked down. Don't be condescending towards her because it will create more conflict and she won't listen. Tell her that you feel you cannot confide to her because of that and you would like that to change. If she refuses to communicate then this is gonna go on until you become miserable and don't wait for that to happen. Relationships are not one way. I've been there.
I can feel you, same shit happens to me as well and she projects her OUT OF CONTEXT Stuffs when I try to talk to her with logic. But yeah idk where this relationship is taking us . We fight 3 times a week . Is it normal?
@@ianishraque 3 time per weeks seems like more effort than its worth tbh.
Why is it so similar to my story
Only here im u nd my bf is kinda like your gf
How do I know what my gut is saying? I’m really indecisive so idk. And how do u become more decisive lol
In that case I’d play along with each of my options by trial and error. Remember you don’t have all the time to think, but even acting on nothing is a choice. Move on from whatever methods don’t feel right and keep trying.
I’m also very indecisive, but I believe that if we find our soulmate, there will be no more doubt 😊
I've also been quite indecisive in my life and I've found that meditating and breathing helps to regain focus. We become indecisive because we're afraid of messing things up leading to decision paralysis. By remembering to focus on breathing we are able to detach from our thoughts and tune in. Most importantly, just give it time. We're not becoming a whole different person in a day but the joy lies in day to day victories. Happy healing to you all❤️
Thank you. I was in a dilemma whether i have taken the right decision or not even realising he was a nice person. YES, i was with the wrong person. I found it earlier and saved both of us. Good luck and keep faith everyone ❤️
Sometimes the biggest fault is that we never know exactly what we want from other person.
I'm always afraid to happen to love the wrong guy that's why I'm single so far.
I'm so scare to fall in love
But it's OK if that's gonna happen bc everyone even the wrong people deserve love.
I will always L💚VE only one person
Even if there's separation . Cause I only have one heart.
I wish you could love me
I wish you're the right person
I am the right person
Lol 😂
@@bravequeen77 WOW THANKS☠💔💣
People don't get it. They think someone else should make them happy. So when their partner doesn't make them happy, they think it's their partner's fault. No. It is not someone else's job to make you happy. You have to find your own happiness, whether or not you have a partner in your life.
I don’t think it’s about you’re expectations being met but your needs
This video helped. I am studying psychology. Sometimes bias gets in the way and it’s hard to get out of your own head. I am an over thinker and an introvert lol. It’s great to have this pocket psych book on common occurrences in society. Keep it up. You are doing great
Bold of you to assume I'm in a relationship
You don't have to be! You can still learn for all kinds of relationships.