Neither Male or Female - Secret Intersex (Gender & Sex Documentary) | Only Human
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ม.ค. 2018
- Every year in the UK, 2,000 babies are born with ambiguous genitalia. Secret Intersex explores what it means to be born genderless by following a range of intersex cases: couples who have given birth to children with ambiguous genitalia and must decide, with a doctor’s help, on the gender of their child; a teenage girl who has lived with a penis structure for 15 years and is only now embarking on treatment; and an adult female who is still coming to terms with her gender after years of living as a male.
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The father who complimented the first child said she is the best of both genders. I think that was most accepting and loving thing I've ever heard. And I think having your child know they are intersex from infancy is a really great policy.
Absolutely and not doing surgery until the child had decided. Obviously, their body will react better to one gender hormone than the other.
The love with you for our children is the most important thing
À❤
❤❤😮
Yes, what a legend!
I feel very sad for children whose parents decided for them on unneeded operations. Especially sorry for Luis. Love the first family so open and so supportive of their children regardless of their gender.
I agree with you, despite thinking that the parents got advised by a doctor, and they thought at that time to be the right decision, specially being recommended by a health professional, so they naturally trusted them. Thankfully our technology has advanced, so better decisions can be made regarding this subject.
I'm feeling HORRIFIED that they considered cutting Bianca's clitoris - that would have been genital mutilation on a baby. And then calling it a "compromise" to construct a vagina. Doctors who seriously act upon beliefs like "of course Bianca would have to look like a little girl because she was a little girl (21:37) should loose their license, at the very least. This is exactly how normal variations get pathologized and so much harm is caused.
Also, they are giving this baby cortison and feminizing hormones? That she will be dependent on for the rest of her live? That is just... so unneccessary and unconsensual. My heart breaks for Bianca
@@andressac.5690 😊
Same here Louise is a male
@@andressac.5690 yes but I don't think it's solely technology that has advanced -- it's also the archaic, ignorant and closed-mindedness of society at large -- of which the doctors are a part of. Like you yourself pointed out;: look how open minded that first family was,
I love how the first family is raising their children with bodily autonomy and pride in who they are. I wish more intersex people were blessed with supportive families like them. The doctor who said that it was impossible to have an intersex child be raised in a happy environment unless he cosmetically altered her genitals is proven dead wrong by the first family.
It seemed to me he wasn't talking about families generally, he was specifically referring to that mother and her inability to raise her child as lovingly if the surgery wasn't performed.
Doesn’t matter what family you have a happy environment is subjective
It's sad the whole trans thing has made a mockery of this extremly rare birth defect, this effect less than 0.0017% of babies born, 99.98% of people calling themselves trans are not intersex.
@@lucius8111 and it isn't a ''defect'' to be intersex....or any other way of being human
@@carolynwalls6787 that’s what I gathered as well
As a mother of a SWCAH girl who was born in 1976 I want to share one very important thing...we were paid to go to Cornell twice so they could study her, the one thing I think we did that is so valuable, and the experts there agreed, was we never forced her into any "rules" for gender. We raised her as who she was, girly sometimes, tomboy often, and now self declared asexual ..not stuck in either set of rules, just free to be who she is! And she is beyond amazing in my opinion. . .and many others share that opinion also!
Exactly as it should be. I applaud you and the drs.
Lovely. I’m glad you gave your child the life she truly deserves! ❤
That is awesome, I'm also asexual, but non-binary. Children should be allowed to simply exist, no need to force things on them. Glad your child did well :)
You're wonderful. I'm so happy your daughter is able to be who she wants to be without scrutiny from the people who should love and support her most. I wish this could be the case for every intersex child
I‘m sorry if I didn’t understand but did you mean agender?
The dad in this is awesome, "Oh he said it was an illness? Well do you feel ill?" What a cool dude.
Yeah, he seems like one amazing guy.
This is very important, these children may change their minds many times if forced to decide M or F. So much better to wait. Those who's children want to transition at a young age, should wait too. It happened naturally, it should be treated as a natural thing.
Î
Adore those parents!
Does being born with no limbs make you feel ill ? Check and mate weirdos , genetic mutation that is not the norm shall not get a gender . Just as multiple personality disorders don't get several id's .
Just let them have both parts until they are old and can decide what they want to do. There is nothing wrong with being both unless it causes medical problems.
Having the choice would be nice, but it would sure hurt like shit when done at an older age.
I think in the case of the baby they were concern with how the organs were tangled and they’re ability to properly urinate.
I think most if not all children should be brought up as girls. Males are aggressive and not necessary in modern society.
The only problem with that is that leaving them cAn also cause problems. There are so many variations of intersex.
Zephyrr Sky bad idea thats awful too have both and probs not medicaly possible0
At 42 years old...during legal discovery for an injury lawsuit..I found out I had gender assignment surgery to male when I was 5 years old. I stuggled my whole life with sexual relationships...I retained the appropriate size genitalia of a five year old for many years until things shrunk in my mid 30's.
All the years suffering from gymnopobia...feeling less then a man...and the truth comes out in court.
I'm now accepting of my body, understanding I was born biologically ambiguous...and strongly feel that gender assigning children is morally wrong.
So sorry you went through that and glad you can finally have a bit of peace around being in your body.
I don't have words really, but I did want to add a comment in support of everyone in this video telling their story - the doctors, nurses, young and older intersex and the parents. To all the Intersex in the world, I hope they all find comfort and acceptance.
I am one of those parents & in the USA doctors dont seek these clients NOR do they just administer transitions!! We go through years of proof. This hoopla "dont help or support your kids" is B.S suicide ! Infuriating that social media is labeling Trans or Intersex as "popular, mistakes, or attention seekers"!! smh- They are not all born XY or XX
I think that unless they are being harmed by their condition....let them be, grow and decide.
I agree, their overall health in a functioning sense should be the priority.
Going through puberty is problematic with that position They will develop physically as one way when they may actually be other than that. Trying to "fix" the problem after puberty is much harder, should the person decided to do so.
@@watchgoose well I figure they will know what they feel like or want to be by say 12
True, and parents should be aware and help the child develop healthy.
Exactly
I think we should be much more protective of these rare people. It's our responsibility to show them compassion, and do everything we can to keep them from being bullied, or mistreated by the ignorant, and cruel.
Yes! Exactly. We need to be as protective of them as we are of babies, baby animals, the disabled, and everyone who is othered. They are rare and special people in our society that we should honor and love above all else.
@@ceciland18 I am by nature a defender of anyone and anything that's in disadvantaged positions but elderlies and animals are my top priority!
Tell that to the Republicans
These people are neither disabled or disadvantaged
This is a medical issue just like Turners Syndrome.
Been around for years and why would anyone bully them, she looks perfectly normal.
I really feel for Louise's mom. It's really horrible that the doctors and medical establishment shamed her because her child is as individual as any of us are really. Louise is immensely courageous and resilient in so many ways. I really admire her choice to not be resentful about what has happened to her or resentful towards her mother, who truth be told is as blameless as Louise. Both are victims as well as victors. All participants in this documentary and their willingess to expose so much of themselves and be vulnerable in an effort to educate us humans at large makes them all in my eyes heroes. ❤❤❤
I never cry but your beautiful comment brought tears streaming down my face
The ocean of difference between the family who raised their intersex children with full transparency and letting their kids know from the getgo about their intersexuality and the family who raised their intersex child as a secret is insane. The kids raised knowing about it are happier, healthier, with good selfesteem and have a positive outlook on their selves and lives. It seems like the other gal's life is completely the opposite. Her life and outlook is so dim and grey. Being intersex is not an illness and not something to hide or be ashamed of.
I feel that same way about autism. If I knew I had it this whole time, things would have made so much sense. Now I know neurotypicals are automatically biased against us for no reason. It’s not me. It’s them. And now I seem out other neurodivergent people to spend time with. It’s SO much easier.
Well, there's also a difference in class, in that Louise is from a single parent, working class home and environment, as opposed to the other kids who are from two parent families and obviously a more middle/upperclass, educated family and environment. Louise is older than those other kids and that also plays a big part in the difference, but money and resources and education are big contributing factors to the differences.
For some of them it is an illness did you not watch the part where the baby needed meds because of the excess hormones?
The difference is money
I wish I'd known about parental Narcissistic Abuse and Neglect 50 years earlier, too. It changed my life in so many of the same ways.
playing with dolls or playing with trucks/cars has nothing to do with your sexe. I'm a girl, born a girl and I never liked girly things. I played with toys traditionally meant for boys. Like to climb trees, liked boy clothing etc...
Yes, exactly. I always hated dolls and dresses, and wanted to play with my brother's Lego and toy cars.
that's called being a tom boy
I also loved climbing trees and playing baseball,wearing my dad's shirts etc. Hated Barbie and makeup . My parents were told to watch me that I may be gay. Far from it .I was boy crazy in my teens but how strange people are to put restrictions on children's ideas and interests. I also think a child born with both sexes should be allowed to decide when they are old enough to know what they feel they are .
@@wappynightnurse yea being a tomboy is so different from this.. these ppl need to stop trying to compare themselves to Aphrodites..
Nathalie Fortier me too. I was a tomboy growing up. I had 3 older brothers and I did or tried to do everything they did!
I grew up with a neighborhood girl who was like this but she identified as a girl. She could not have children so she adopted. But we just loved her, she was our friend just like anyone else. She never had a surgery and she has lived her life just fine and she is a happy person...
So she was a guy and not a girl?
@@retrogamesmadeeasy8058 No she was a girl with all female parts but also Male parts but overall She was a girl. She could not have children though. A person would never know that she had the Male parts unless she told someone
@@SometimeAgo65 Well, that's still kind of a fine line to be honest. I guess in that situation you can indeed choose and not really be considered trans. I wouldn't say she was fully girl though due to the male parts, but it's a hard subject to discuss properly.
@@retrogamesmadeeasy8058 Right I understand but I do know that she met a guy who wanted to marry her and has had a good life I suppose. Life is a mystery sometimes so who knows? 🙂❤
@@retrogamesmadeeasy8058Why do you feel the need to parse and work to categorize this, when the person you are discussing has found an answer and peace about it?! ? You think you are looking for inclusion but the thought process feeds right into the left agenda of Inclusivity actually means DIVISION and reasons to EXCLUDE. I know. It takes logic to get there, but if you think about it you may see my point and be glad you did. 😂
I admire Louise's inner strength. She has the courage to be herself and I hope she finds love and happiness. She deserves love.
But it's clear they haven't yet found it and it has caused great pain for them and their mother. Does she deserve it, absolutely. I think maybe that's the entire point.
@@wondercortney Louise is not with us anymore sadly
@@mutate34oh that is sad. I was hoping for her……
@@mutate34 She was so young! was it related to her condition?
@@annast9172 her mum posted an obit online saying she died at 36 in 2013 of a long (unnamed) illness
Absolutely fascinating. I think complete transparency with the child is the way to go. The family with two intersex children who have had lifelong conversation with them show that it honestly doesn’t matter, you can be both.
NO YOU CAN'T. READ THE BIBLE
@@nikos9257 Gender was construct for colonial control and Christianity was used for colonization anyway...Glad to see the world is healing from this collective trauma.
@nikos9257 What are you SO AFRAID OF?! People ARE BOTH, and are born BOTH all the time! It's just that because of bigoted ignorant ppl (like YOU) they are forced to hide the truth.... and live the lie that comforts you. I'm sure that's NOT what God intended for THEIR lives!
God created them.
@@susanparsons9365 READ THE BIBLE. 1 Timothy 1:8-10
Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, understanding this, that the law is not laid
down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and
profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who
practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine ....
Jude 7
And don't forget Sodom and Gomorrah and their neighboring towns, which were filled with immorality
and every kind of sexual perversion. Those cities were destroyed by fire and serve as a warning of the
eternal fire of God's judgment. AND MANY MORE
"In addition to being intersex..*loudest train noises in the whole documentary drown out narrator*"
I burst out laughing at that moment and went in search of someone mentioning it in the comments, lol.
🤣
@@movieholic-92 I burst out laughing too. 😂
yeah, super bad editing..
13:32
I think it's something like "in addition to being intersex, Louise has a string of associated conditions"
but probably missing a word or 2 lol.. so bad.
I was immediately angry lol
Male, female, or both who cares. They are human beings and all humans deserved to be loved for who they are as a person not how they were born. Much love to them for helping to bring this subject out in the open.
Brodie Thank you Brodie, I totally agree.
Thank you!!!
Leave them alone to be what they were to be what are. The Lord decided that. That's why people need not be so opinionated. Don't be such a
LONG NOSE and stay out of people's business.
@123411970
...and people who were educated in it.
They need one some my family just like that they need one male or female
The little child that said they were a boy inside and a girl outside was so honest and genuine. They seem very comfortable knowing they are both, but curious as to what it would be like to be born as one or the other.
that one might have meant,literally and physically. the boy parts are hidden inside the body. and obviously quite undeveloped. the girl part is the strongest dna perhaps. not mentally, but physically .
I think it's significant that with the first family both parents are clearly very well educated and quite intellectual. This maybe gave them the strength and confidence to not hush things up and be ashamed of the condition, as the doctors were suggesting they should be. Louise's poor Mum perhaps has a more working class background and therefore would be more likely to subscribe to the old ' doctors know best and you do as they say' attitude that was common in years gone by. The doctors told her to hush it all up, implying that it was some kind of shameful secret, and she did, and poor Louise -and her Mum- suffered because of it.
I totally agree with your analysis.
They are totally different conditions also. You cant really compare
That first family is like a family from a Hallmark movie. From their gorgeous picturesque home in the countryside, to their beautiful family who all look like models, to the way they interact and talk about how being you is ok. They're just like too perfect 😭♥️♥️
the contracts were signed after ...
Intersex people with CAIS often become models because the condition gives them long limbs, clear skin, and luscious hair.
The teenager in particular is absolutely gorgeous; I was thinking the same thing about her looking like a model, and then saw your comment
Reminds me of the hippie movement. We used to think we had changed the world because we had learned to accept ourselves
I immediately got a super disturbing vibe from the parents. The mother seems to view her child as a lab experiment and the father is just creepy af. I trust my gut. Just sayin...
I find it creepy that the doctor thinks Bianca can't have a normal childhood if she doesn't have the surgery. How would anyone even know?
Amalia Collins I got the feeling that he was saying she wouldn’t have a happy family life , I think he meant that the mom really wanted it .. he said he spoke about it being discussed that they not operate but the mum was traumatised at the thought . That’s just what I took from it though .
I think you're right, but I still find it creepy because it's almost implying that the mom wouldn't love her as much or at least wouldn't be able to treat her the same? Idk, just seems weird to me
Amalia Collins yes still very creepy ( and sad ) for sure !
I wish they would have had the older Louise meet Bianca's mum before deciding on the surgery 💔
If she grows in a rich family she might never need to do any change. Clear enough?
Keeping their condition hidden from them causes more harm than good. I’m glad the first two families are open with their kids about it. Louise seems to have suffered a lot from being kept in the dark. Made to feel as if what she was is shameful. I hope she’s more comfortable in herself now.
Edit for punctuation.
I had a partner for about 5 years who had Kleinfelters's syndrome. Genetic trisomy where every cell in their body was XXY. Normally a genetic male XY and a genetic female is XX. So, in my opinion, this was purely a medical condition and should be treated as such. They had been raised from birth as male. But, as puberty began to hit and they grew older wanted to transition into a more female identity. By the time I knew them, they were wearing female clothing and during our relationship we began seeking more supportive care in a dedicated medical center for trans medical care. Eventually, they began using a female name and dressing full time as a female. I was completely fine with this. They took estrogen and developed breasts. Having a supportive, loving partner is very important to the challenges these people face in addition to just living as being intersex. I wish everyone living with these issues the very best moving forward. Since I have been very familiar with how difficult it can be just to live. Close up.
"This is the only way Bianca can grow up in a happy family environment." In other words, "This is the only way her parents will be happy, and that's all that matters." Poor child! To have to be seen as "normal" to be loved and accepted. As an autistic person forced to mask for other people's comfort, at the severe expense of my own wellbeing, this just makes me so angry.
Yess we did they do that they didn’t need too !!!!
I empathize strongly with your comment. Thank you for expressing something I couldn't find the words for.
Yeah, it was clear her mother was deeply, deeply uncomfortable with the situation.
You all are totally missing the medical part of this. She has all the female organs she just produces higher levels of testosterone. They made it possible for her to change later on if she chooses.
Hello fellow autist! I feel the same way about masking, it is exhausting. I’ve been recently unlearning masking and it’s helped me so much. I encourage you to stop masking if it safe for you to do. You shouldn’t have to pretend for other people’s comfort!
It always bothers me that the doctors say, "no one needs to know,' but then pressure the parents into permanent surgeries before the child's inherent personality develops.
If no one "needs to know," then there is no NEED for surgery until closer to puberty.
That phrase and the terms "problem" and "normal" made me angry. They're rooted in shame and are used to goad parents into going along with the doctor's weird need to "correct" something that may not be a problem, it's just not frequently seen... probably because of shame and cover-up. It's a vicious cycle.
@@SpankinHands If something isn't functioning properly, that IS a 'problem' - but from what I discerned from the video, all parts ~~necessary to a child~~ were working properly. Ergo - they weren't a PROBLEM at during childhood.
And there is a 'normal' regarding physiology - When getting closer to puberty, then MAYBE the physical abnormality (yes, that is what it is) could be addressed - when everyone involved could make an informed decisions.
The profession has changed a lot in the last few decades at least in the US. There has been a big upheaval in what is considered to be proper conduct. Societal standards are different and medicine is no longer as paternalistic as before.
@@dolphinlover3001 -- Agreed. In situations where doctors have assumed authority, courts decided that physicians should not be making those decisions without consulting parents. In the past, babies with deformities were often left to die -- including subjecting the neonate to exposure or murder.
Criminal behaviour from doctors
I feel so badly for Louise. Can't imagine the pain she must've felt waking up from that surgery ❤
I couldn't bear the sound of that doctor chipping
This is really well made. Thank you, everyone, who was willing to partake in this documentary. You're voices are heard 💛
Yes, thank you everyone involved -- it's just grammatically not "you're", but "your" in this case.
Well made? The sound is atrocious. For instance, several places in the documentary has the voice drown out by background noise to where there is no possible way to hear what they are saying. Even the closed captioning cannot pick it up. They could have done better.
Except where background noises drown out the narrator.
@@songstress50 get over yourself. 😒
We understood what was meant.
@@RankinMsP nobody said you didn't understand what was meant. But it's fine: keep altering and butchering the language. Oh and keep being an immature cad too while "your" at it!!
i can relate to this. my story a little bit different. born with both genitals. my birth doctor chose boy. this was wrong. always a girl. he just closed my female part. not removing nothing. its taken me a long time to have my femal genital reopened. God bless us all...
I am similar to you, I am just in the process to be rebuild the way I should have been all the time! I wish you good luck on your path to become yourself again!
@@jessejames3489 my friend is going through this right now. They assigned him female at birth and he is now having to prove that he feels male and wants to transition!
@@KJellyBeanut I wish him all the luck in the world to finally have a chance, to live at the person he was supposed to be! It was so easy for them to screw us up when we were little, and nobody cared about what it would do to us!
Can I ask you how it looks like when you have both? Or do you know what I could type into google to learn more about this? This sounds interesting...I want to know more (You don't have to answer)
Gender is a social construct. You can be however you want to be, do whatever you want to do, date whomever you want to date, with any set of genitals you have. This is also why I wish doctors would not operate on children with ambiguous genitalia if it's not medically necessary, and why I wish trans people would stop mutilating and removing their genitals. In the end, Jerry, you are not inherently a boy or a girl, because boys and girls aren't specifically one way or another. Stop internalizing stereotypes. You are simply a human being.
Louise ,thank you so much for being so courageous in taking part in this video. How could we possibly understand this condition without you and the other participants in this video. Thank you everyone. May God bless you .
I mean it’s not rocket science
If only all intersex people could be born to a family like the first one. Just let them be who they are. There's nothing wrong with that
People born with chromosomal anomalies are extremely rare. Any parents that have a kid like this will understand. That is not to be compared with the now popular people who identify as non-binary who do not have any chromosomal anomalies like these individuals.
@@ladivaeu7795Plenty of people are intersex without knowing it. It is not always apparent, even to the doctors present at their birth. Furthermore, hormonal abnormalities during either foetal or later development, for example, can present in all manner of different ways, some more obvious than others. Tests will only be carried out in certain cases.
Sometimes, differences become apparent in adolescence, other times when couples experience fertility problems, or sometimes only when something unusual is found by accident during other tests, procedures or surgery. Other times, people only discover what their own doctors and parents knew all along after years of gender dysphoria and sexual confusion.
People can be affected by all kinds of physiological factors that influence their sexual development, including chromosomal conditions that may or may not ever be discovered in their lifetime.
How naïve you are!
Louise is a wonderful, thoughtful, beautiful person. She is so kind to her Mom. Mom didn’t know. I truly believe the kids need to choose when they get older.
I really felt for Louise and her Mum, being ‘encouraged’ to keep the secret, as if it were something to be ashamed of. The two girls from the more enlightened family were a total delight, accepting their sexuality in a positive way! I can’t believe what a difference twenty years has made to attitudes!
And class
Perhaps its less about feeling shame and more about experiencing the negative ignorance from peers. It's normal that a parent consider that. That fear is legitimate. Talking about it and the choices each family made for their child is essential to understanding how complicated it is. God bless all with fulfillment.
Yep most of the trans kids from religious family here in Australia use to end end into the redlight district on drug and prostitution
@Debra Paulino Debra, you are so right! I have a Transgender daughter and you would NOT BELIEVE what people have done and said to us due to total ignorance and their OWN insecurities!
@@debrapaulino918 Well said ! We should not pass judgement on any parent in this situation . My heart went out to Louise`s mom !
When I was very young; I met another child whom told me they were both. Boy and girl.
I made fun .
I am so sincerely sorry.
The only Avenue to express my regret is to post here.
Respect and love to every viewer.
all we can do is learn from our experiences
We all make mistakes, but it's great when we try to make them right.
I think sometime we don’t know how to respond and either laugh or cry especially when we’re young and not having the knowledge we have now maybe not believing what is said mrs edwards here
Many of us need time to develop empathy. It's often not at it's peak when we're kids. 😉
The mom who mentioned being elated to learn about her child's intersexuality is really a level of cool that we all should aspire to. I'm sure the fact that she loves her kid is a part of it, but it seems like that was also just her genuine reaction to be interested and excited to understand her baby.
I think that was kind of a gross and selfish admission from her. Almost like she was excited to use her child as a subject in an experiment.
@@Brickcellentfair interpretation, although parenting itself can involve a fair amount of experimentation. It’s not always clear what to expect, so embracing the experience is not a bad thing in my eyes. What you see as the Hollywood horror version of scientific experimentation, I see as genuine, and well intended interest. Right? Like isn’t even just signing your kid up for karate kind of an experiment? I guess if I had a question for you, it would be: what makes the nuances in this family’s life so scary and daunting to you? Why is a mother’s positive interest in her child’s* real life so alarming?
@Dirt Murphy To me there's nothing relevant about what you said to comment on.
@Dirt Murphy Thats not why I would change my last name to sucker.
@Dirt Murphy Yes, you're so right! You win! 🙂
This documentary makes you realise how unnecessary and pointless humanity’s desire to force people to fit into specific boxes is. Why can’t we just accept and appreciate the wide spectrum of diversity humanity comes in.
The first family is so beautiful- Elisana and Xenia are so beautiful inside and out - a real ethereal quality alongside their wonderful confidence and personalities.
Because it’s not a spectrum of diversity it’s a spectrum of disorder. And with disorders come chaos. It’s unnatural. And as unnatural complications will no doubt arise.
“Unnecessary” “pointless” why?
They can’t help their genes but in order to live and not just survive they need to clear out some stuff if you catch my drift
The one that made me mad was bianca's mom 😭 like you heard from all these adults and still decided to force your ideas on Ur baby???? And you don't know if it'll work out???
It's sad the whole trans thing has made a mockery of this extremly rare birth defect, this effect less than 0.0017% of babies born, 99.98% of people calling themselves trans are not intersex.
@@lucius8111 Exactly. A really sick movement to already transgender children. They cant smoke and drink, cant tatoo because they are not yet able to decide whats best, but cutting of their genitals in this young age while they are in a development phase is ok? This is really sickening and perverted to the core.
@@lucius8111 Transgender mocks nothing. It's completely different from, and unrelated to, Intersex. Keep your dimwitted bigotry to yourself.
i feel so bad for that mother. to be able to honestly say "no i don't think i should have raised her as a girl" wow i can feel her pain course through my body. what a hard thing to have accepted and follows the experts advice, only to years later live with the regret of that decision. my heart bleeds for that mother. her daughter is a good daughter though with her response to her mom's admission. wow, God bless them.
wonderfully said
What decent kind hearted parents
Not Bianca's.
Is what all parents should be.
Yes
Sammy Jade
the best
I like the idea to let them decide when they are mature enough to. Three choices... Male....female or stay as they are. What ever feels right for them as a individual. Yes-they are only human.
Why not just stay as you are? It's how you were made. Unless there's any need for surgery that is.
And what age would that be? Ì don't think you are thinking it through. These kids have to usually interact with society and go to school etc.
"stay as they are". What. Intersex? Even those with ambiguous genitalia, are either biological males or females. However, intersex occurs in only 0.018% of the population, and true hermaphroditism is virtually unknown. So basically, you're either male of female. End of story.
It really warms my soul that their are so many accepting and compassion ate people in the comments. Living this life I didn’t expect that. In a world so dark these times need caring souls. Thank yall
Your sound editors need to be fired. Could they really not reduce the volume of trains and planes when narration was going to play over??
not as bad as the camera editors.... they should really be fired.
Noah
oh PLEASE!
Indeed. This was stupid difficult to hear over background music and noise.
Fuck off bitch, no one cares.
@@georgeeskiadis5637 we know, it's just the fact that someone was probably paid big money to do a professional job and didn't that annoys people..
Not the end of the world but does stand out in your brain, ya know?
Elisana seams so well adjusted. I'm so glad her parents have dealt with it so well and never made her feel ashamed.
It’s so nice to see the family who never hid the fact that the children are intersex and how well adjusted they are. In contrast the people who hid it or don’t accept it struggled much more . I agree that we should leave it up to the child when they are old enough to choose themselves. Also don’t hide things. Honestly is the best policy.
Hello did you watch the documentary. They are Totally different conditions. Ì suggest you watch it again
It's a shame that the genital Nazis who want to determine which bathrooms people use etc should be forced to sit through this.
Just judging people by appearance is ridiculous.
We are and have always bee different and to pretend everyone must fit a 'norm' is ridiculous.
I think it's ironic that Louise's surgery was done at Middlesex hospital.
I thought the same thing..lol
Nice one........ let's hope more 'Middlesex' unites us all?
Middlesex is from Old English and has nothing to do with sex.
@@PurpleSeahorse ...Really...I think we knew that already... It's just ironic...
Justice OnEarth if you say so...
My heart bleeds for Louise and her mum. She was told that was the right thing to do then by her doctor she trusted. She loves her daughter so much and her pain and guilt is so obvious and hard to watch. As well as Louise's struggle with her identity and just the longing to belong and be loved. Seriously heartbreaking. I really hope the future has be better for them.
I'm right there with you. Louise's story broke my heart. I wish I could be her friend.
@@BrooksBrown36830 me too
I don't understand what the problem is, she's clearly female.
@@DarnellHendeason-dk3uw The problem is, they made the choice to have her be female, when she actually feels like a male inside.
Agreed indeed! 💔
When the surgeon kept going on about making the baby appear "normal", I almost blew a gasket. SHE ALREADY IS NORMAL. It may be a different normal that what youre used to seeing, but it is normal. The baby is healthy, obviously happy...leave it be!
Would love to see a follow up, especially Louise. I hope she is extremely happy and most of all happy with herself. You are a wonderful human being..❤
Louise passed away in 2013, the sisters are now a pro dancer/juggler and artist
I am an intersex person. I admit that I am a little bit nervous about starting to sit down and watch this video, just because I don’t know if I am personally ready to view that. However, that is because I want them to get it right. I will watch it! I know I will. I am very grateful that it is posted here. It is teaching people what they need to know about people like me.
Tammi
Just turn your volume down then
Sorry not you
GODJESUSHOLYSPIRIT Bless U Always n forever n ever!!!
Big hugs!!
I think you're awesome just for coming on here and sharing with us. ❤️
Amazing to see what difference it makes in the development of the child embracing them as they are and being honest with them, accepting and empowering them.
That will make a difference for every child.. being loved as you are.. no matter what❣️
YES!!
It doesn't matter what gender your child is, it matters that you treat them like another person, an individual with their own interests, hobbies and goals.
Was this reaally produced 5 years ago? It feels so old (in a very good and nostalgic way), with the jazz, the interview and video quality, it was great to watch, congrats for this amazing documentary
i'm pretty sure it's older than 5 years old, that's just when it was uploaded on this channel :)
it's from 2004
Feels like a PBS video from 1980s
Louise is so strong. My heart goes out for her. I really hope she's doing well nowadays. She basically had no choice, but to be female. I can tell she was lost.
Louise needs to be around people like her, other intersex people. She has probably never left her small town. All she knows is “you have to be cis.” And that is simply not true; life is not black and white.
@@buggs2024 I wholeheartedly agree. I really hope she continues finding community and exploring her identity.
@@pintobeans3490 she passed away in 2013
@@mutate34what happened?
@@dawnvalentine74 her mum posted an obit in 2013 that she had died of an (unnamed) long illness
I think Biancas mum was only doing what she thought best but she should really of waited to let bianca choose when she is older unless it would cause pain or illness
Stigma and some communities are very concerned. She did leave the clothing, she is letting her choose more surgeries if want
Yes, he is a boy
This documentary came out in 2004. I remember taking an anatomy class around 2005 when I was a junior/senior in highschool and my anatomy teacher played this for us. That was really cool of him to do so, hopefully it made his students more understanding and tolerant before graduating highschool and really going out into the world.
I think this is a very well done doc. Interviewer asked excellent questions, with great sensitivity.
My best friend is intersex and I have learned a lot from her.
Why intersex are always assigned as females?
Kudos to the mom for not even considering abortion and accepting her child no matter what.
13:31 - "...in addition to being intersex, Louise has a-VROOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM"
using CC i worked out that i think it says Louise has had a string of unsuccessful operations.
Still recovering from surgery and your comment made me laugh and hurt. Thanks!
13:35 "Louise has a string of associated medical conditions."
😂😂😂😂😷🤚. I gotta peee
There were a couple of points in this film when they edited a softly spoken narrator together with a loud background noise.
That little baby girl was so absolutely precious! Such a happy child! I hope that she is doing wonderful these days...I'm sure she's a preteen or so now. It'd be incredibly interesting to see how she, and the others shown in this are doing these days!
She's at least 20 years old now. This was filmed in 2004
My born son, has now started the process of becoming my daughter. I wish I could have helped her earlier, before testosterone developed her body. She can now choose, but if I had known, I would have helped her (my ex wouldn't have)
I am so glad that you all have spoken freely and help me. I will always support my daughter and love her, no matter how confusing it is to me. They're our children, after all and that's what parents should do
Poor Louise never got to choose 😭
My new daughter did karate for years, like all my children, other siblings are boy and girl. My new daughter fought in many semi full contact tournaments, in groups of up to 30 and came fourth many times. No medal, but in my heart, she has gold all the way. Aggression and fighting, are not reserved for males, there are many female fighters, I would not want to face and I'm a macho male, but I have respect
Watching Louise's operation, made me cry. Chiseling away bone? 😭
When I was younger I used to do karate too. I wasn’t the best at it but I enjoyed it. There was quite few girls in my classes including myself, I think probably about 1/3 was girls. So definitely lots of girls do karate too.
I can understand their pain, sufferings, and problems. Way back when it was decided that I grow up as a man. I tried very hard for many years to fill this expectation, but I never could achieve it ever. I am now in the process in becoming a woman, and I am trying to reclaim the body that was stolen from me long ago! I am now finally at peace with myself and the world!
I wish those kids good luck on their way into the world!
Jesse James Thank you for sharing that. Your bravery and tenacity shine through. Wishing you peace in your journey and our love and support as well.
Proud of you!
@@liziramsden4091 Thank you Liz. I will have my first surgery towards femininity at the later part of next week! This will be the beginning to reverse what was done wrong to me!
@@katrinakollmann5265 Thank you Katrina!
Some of these females resemble males mostly.
They are all 100% human.
Well, what would they be otherwise??
Affirmative
And??
well what else are they, bobcats? testies and ovaries seem pretty human to me.
@@theshepherdsdog 😆😆😆, 🤔 a caterpillar perhaps
Seems like the family that was honest from the start with their kid turned out to be the healthiest.
It's just proof that letting your children be who they are is the healthiest thing for them
What a wonderful, thoughtful, sensitive documentary.
Bottom line: these are people who deserve to be treated with respect. They come from loving families with support & seem very well rounded. I wish them the best❤️
Respect is earned not given. People aren't entitled to respect just because of their condition.
really? so you don’t believe in basic, inalienable human rights? respect for being a human being with flesh & bone; struggles and experiences? you must be a blast at parties. gross.
@@LuciferXFallen290 -- I used to think that respect is earned not given, but I learned in leadership training that the baseline should be respect -- that is where interaction should begin. People can either maintain respect or damage it and possibly lose it. It's entirely more decent to respect immediately, until shown otherwise.
Nicole Rose -- 100% Agree! Fortunately, intersex adults and enlightened medical professionals are driving forward lawsuits against doctors who fancy that they "know better" from external appearances -- before testing or internal examination.
Some adults who have gone through the anguish of gender dysphoria and transgender treatment have discovered that they may have been victims of "corrective" surgery as an infant, then they were raised according to stereotypes, which conflicted how they felt.
*Steve* 💯💯💯❤️
Thank you for putting together this fascinating documentary. I learned a lot! Especial admiration for all who agreed to be filmed.
Agreed! The parents and children who shared their stories -- even when doctors said "no one has to know," or "there's a problem" -- seems massively courageous and selfless. This program can only help others facing the same situation. I love when the first teen expresses happiness at finding out "there's someone else like me."
Its obvious that sometimes things go wrong during physical development. Sometimes things go wrong during mental development as well. The fact that these things occurs does not mean they are natural and ok . Something is wrong. Whenever possible , we try to make it right just as in the case of a deformity that can be corrected by surgery sometimes. Point is that imperfect creatures are not necessarily ok just because they are born a certain way. That "way" is sometimes very wrong whether its physical or mental. God has nothing to do with it, its imperfection inherited due to sin. We're all affected in some way,but we ne
I can relate to Lasonia because I'm also intersex, well kinda. My situation is quite different but I find lots of parallels between us. I wasn't really proud to be what I am tho and I'm still trying to accept what I am. She's inspirational to be so outspoken about her situation.
When you are BORN a MALE.....STAY a MALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What does kinda intersexed mean? 🧐
Don't worry. You are fine the way you are. Accept yourself, love yourself and make whatever choice makes you the happiest. There is nothing wrong with you at all.
My best friend is proudly intersex. This is not a disorder or deformity. The ancient history of intersex people is absolutely astoundingly amazing and wonderful. Most people have no idea what roles intersex people played throughout history.
It is a disorder / birth defect but that doesn't make it bad. I'm autistic and it's a disorder
Eunochs castratos. Yeah great
I’d be very interested to hear more about what you’ve mentioned here
Exactly truly intersex people were spoken of in Indian culture and history ages ago.
@@b0g_dykeMany autistic people disagree with you there.
Elisanna looks like some divine creature, the perfect combination between male and female. She could easily be an angel.
lovely description
Yes 💟
She is an angel 👼.
I really wanna know her updates
Unfortunately our society doesn't yet understand that beautiful combination of male and female in one individual, it scares them. It's a pity
Or you could give them a unisex name and leave them alone and let them make decisions about their body for themselves when they age.
Tammy James that’s what they are now doing!! See Bianca!
Like Jamie Lee curtis
It doesn't matter what your name is if your identity is confused. Really.
@@YT4Me57 Who are you to say that? It's up to them to say whether or not their identity is confused. Also, being outside the binary doesn't necessarily mean being confused. And having a unisex name can help from a social perspective, because at least they won't be asked "Why are you Mark if you are a girl?" or "Why are you Mary if you are a boy?". They'll be just Jordan, or Taylor, etc. no questions asked...
@@YT4Me57 or course the name matters, people except a person with a girl name to be a girl and vice verca...giving them a non unisex name is shifting them already in the direction of one gender while they might feel more like the other one or just somewhere inbetween
Great documentary ... thanks to the film-makers and especially to the families/individuals and medical specialists involved. I was a child in 1950s London (UK) and knew nothing about genderless/intersex people - never heard of them. By teenage, I'd heard about homosexual men (not women), cross-dressing, androgynous individuals ... but had never met anyone identifying as other than straight male/female. So now, at the age of 73, I'm re-educating myself about a world I never knew existed. The only thing I can say is this ... throughout my life (so far) I've been aware that the boundary between the accepted 'norms' of male/female behaviour is extremely broad and is not fixed ... in individuals, it even varies from day to day, hour to hour. I believe most of us tread a very thin tightrope between 'masculine' and 'feminine' psychologically and, to a lesser extent, physically, depending on the mix of genes at birth, parenting/nurturing through childhood and epigenetic influences such as religious beliefs and the cultural norms and expectations throughout our lives. From my experience, I would say there are no 100% males, no 100% females ... that's a myth and not even a desirable one. I'm glad to be living, towards the end of my life, through an age when diversity is gradually being not only accepted, but even celebrated, at least in some societies. R (Australia)
For people with this condition, I think it's pretty cool that as a society we're moving in a direction where they wouldn't have to "move away to a new place for a fresh start where noone knows us" if they wanted to embrace a different gender.
Or to be able to embrace being both genders, if that is what they choose.
I feel sad for Louise and her Mom. Her Mom did what they thought best at the time and as for why she kept her daughter, she did because no matter what, that's her child and she loves her. This is so complicated. Don't know what I'd do in this situation.
Beth Roesch
God bless you, Beth.
@Beth Roesch - I do, too, Beth! Poor Louise looks more male than female, and evidently, she should be a male. As you said, her mum just did as the doctors recommended. There was no way of knowing that she is actually a male.
I have read numerous stories claiming that there are some AIS female actors in Hollywood, many of whom adopted children because they were not able to conceive because of their condition.
@@festivelady826 it's certainly more common than I thought. I didn't realize that there were so many different forms of it. I feel a lot of sympathy for kids, parents and Doctors involved. It is all done kind of blindly. You're presented with this baby who has a condition and you have to try to help without knowing what the future holds for them or how they'll feel about things. Bless them all.
9:27
@@festivelady826 Jamie Curtis is one apparently
I have a lot of sympathy for Louise, she seems like such an interesting person. I feel bad she is lonely.
Michael RileyI think she is lovely, and as you say interesting, I hope she finds the partner she deserves.
I agree she plays to your heart doesn't she I hope she gets help with wat she wants
me too. i think the dr should not have operated on her and let her be a boy?
Thank you for making this documentary! And thank you to the family that is so open and loving and educated!
Beautiful, educational documentary.
I like this program, however, its really annoying when the narrator is talking and the music is so loud it drowns him out, please make the music lower.
I've learned a lot from this documentary and have a new-found respect for these humans with issues I've never before heard of. the parents did a great job raising all of their children to the best of their ability and to the benefits of their offspring.
I agree with you 100 percent
I think it's sad that Bianca's parents wanted her operated on. I know they wanted what was best for her, but they speak of making her normal, which shows that they have never questioned normality. It was all normal for this child! I do understand what they mean. It must be rather confusing for a parent, and they would expect their child to be just as confused, in a society that never discussed such matters. Myself,I found a book on anatomy when I was around 13 years old, which had photos of intersex in it, so had a bit of extra education, although I don't remember speaking of it. I think I felt a bit shy to, and that I shouldn't really have been looking!
My heart goes out to Louise. I hope her operation was successful. t present I am only halfway through the video! So terrible to find out her pelvic bone is narrow, but hopefully she will find it's no problem in the future. I am glad she is heading towards a future in art, where most artist are open minded, and it doesn't matter which gender we are!
I am intersexed a female and feel people are trying to force me to live as a male because I don't look like an atypical supermodel they are abusing there power
Those ppl shouldn’t be aloud to tell you how you should live.it’s your life god gave you this life to live free and to be who you are today! If those ppl keep it up then the best thing to do is to remove them from your life! It’s not right to have to be forced to be something that your not. I hope your doing ok fam!
fight the power.
Their*
I was born with xx male syndrome.
It's time society as a whole puts aside fear and especially the myopic, dangerous religious judgmentalism backed by targeted conservative political persecution and accept that it is not as "simple" as ONLY male/ONLY female and accept ALL fellow humans in our infinite variety...giving each individual the humanity, support, legal rights, and respect they deserve.
Kudos to this family for celebrating their children as they are.
It always has been. People that seem against it act like we all just came out all of the sudden hand picked with this crazy agenda. I truly want to tell them that they have no idea how much the person prays to not be like this and just "be normal" whatever that means
@@conorjordan19 Huh...it's almost like they wouldn't have to pray to be 'normal' if the entire world didn't reject them and act like they don't exist!
God bless this Mother for loving and protecting her baby no matter the gender. 🥰
God Louise is a trooper, a very brave person. I hope she is well today.
I think her mother is a trooper too.
@@JediJan Yes :)
@Tee Zee the ultimate controller of all earthquakes is
The One Who Is The Creator of The Earth And The Rainbow Creator Son
Who Is A Being of Light
And The Creator of All
men and of all Angels
this is unstoppable power of The Creator OF all
against evilness continuing
from created men and from created Angels
My husband and I talked about if this was how one of our babies was born and always figured we would leave them be, give them a gender neutral name and let the kid decide when they are old enough.
I completely agree with you :)
Sam or ash are good ones. Reggie too.
I have a son named Charlie and I liked the name for either gender.
@@williamwest9204 Jamie, Taylor and Dana as well🙏🏻
If I had an intersex child I think naming would be difficult because I don’t like any gender neutral names. They just have a weird feeling about them to me. I guess I would just have to pick a name that fits them as an individual whether it be a feminine or masculine name.
How brave were these families to talk so openly about such a private matter really hope there lives work out well for them
NO! We are NOT "Neither"! I am fully intersex, and I am BOTH! Neither is a xenophobic, broken, sick view.
The older one should go into modeling. Being that she can look female or male is very "In" right now. Besides she is very pretty.
carochan86 I think she and her sister went into dance
ABSOLUTELY stunning!!!
She looks like a boy to me.
Only a woman would find her pretty. To a heterosexual male she looks repulsive because she has no female features whatsoever.
@@stigludwigsen your crazy
"In adition to being intersexed, Louise has *train rips by*"
.... um huh? Say that again.... who edited that?
The sound editor for this documentary oughta be fuckin shot
Another scene is at 15:22 where there is a group singing, and you can't hear a thing of what the narrator says
18:35 more of the same
i turned on the CC and it indicated that she has had a string of unsuccessful operations.
@@lizzzzzzzz I turned on the cc too and it did not have any caption for that part.
Louise being born in 1977, I wonder how her life has turned out. I would love to see an update on them all since 2016.
Louise passed away in 2013, the sisters are now a pro dancer/juggler and artist
@@mutate34
What did she pass from?
This just proves how important parenting is. The first kid’s family have been so positively supportive and that heavily affected her to feel proud of who she is. I understand parents are only human and no parent is perfect but deciding what your child “should be” before knowing for sure is wrong. Just because you give birth to your child, it does not give you the right how your children should be.
Lies, deception, and cover-ups... that's where the real problems begin.
@Pumpedmuscle Agree.. would you classify "sexually oriented special interest groups" as Religious Nuts, or bullies?
Native Americans have always referred to these as "Two Spirits" and they are considered blessed by the great Spirit.
Finnie boy why not?
@@finnp5132 I am too spirited native objiwe and I have no issues someone calling them two spirited. Just wow
For the record I’m Mi’kmaq, but I have no issues with others using the honorable words”two-spirits”.
Which tribes? You've just generalized a lot of very different peoples.
Elizabeth Peters that is not what native Americans called two spirits at all stay in your white lane please and thank you
Fascinating documentary! Thank you for doing it! I'm in favor of just accepting everyone "as is."
I love how supportive and loving these parents are, and how open they are to whatever is best for the long term health of their children.
Louise's case started in or before 1977 and that was certainly a more difficult time for people who couldn't fit into the strict male or female boxes.
On the other hand, the fact that this video wasn't posted until 2018 seems to me to be more indicative of the more modern and realistic "spectrum of choices".
Omg Louise, I feel so much for you, This is all the doctor's fault,
When you were born the doctor's should of left you how you were so you could make your own choice when you felt you wanted to,
If indeed you wanted to make a choice at all.
Very, very, informative and sensitively presented. I learned a lot by watching this.
What kills me about these operations on children too young to consent, is something like 25% of the time, the child ends up rejecting their assigned gender.
I wish Bianca's mother would've allowed Bianca to choose for herself.
And Louise, I wish you all the best!
Bianca will get to choose for herself. They just untangled her urethra and vaginal canal. They are suppose to be seperate.
Bianca is definitely female, nothing to choose. She has ovaries, a uterus and is XX. The surgery is just cosmetic externally and to correct her urethral position.
Bianca's mother was selfish. Not only does Bianca have testosterone running rampant, she will have to be medicated for life to give her estrogen. I think she made the decision for herself and did not have Bianca's best interests at heart.
@@kellysimmons5931 Not really. The baby is clearly female.
Kelly Simmons I think because it was a few years back.
Such a shame more parents can't be like this Mum and Dad, so accepting of their children as all parents should be. Children are a blessing no matter what sex and these two are truely loved. I also wish Louise all the luck for her future, I hope she finds contentment within herself.
What a cool documentary. Still making my way through it, but what a fantastically supportive dad at 6:30!
People with physical features of both sexes should be free to decide how they feel at any time as this is special and it’s their body ❤