I believe my unrealistic expectation is that my partner and I always have to have these deep and long conversations and if we don't then we are most likely not connecting. We also are in a long-distance relationship.
Yeah I feel this. I want to have have deep convo with my partner since we are doing long distance and so we set a time and I feel upset when he doesn’t show up in time because I feel like he isn’t caring enough to pay attention to the time 💀
The boredom one hit home. My partner hates my daily routine & uses it to say I'm living a dull life. I have to have a routine for myself & my son. I feel he constantly causes fights so that he can have those extreme highs & lows he probably grew up with.. but this rollercoaster behavior is becoming too much for me. One needs stability & security & sure we can work things into the weekly routines to break the monotony but endless creation of issues just isn't the way.
Oh the mind reading especially! Thanks for the video. I'm afraid I will sound too needy or neurotic or whatever so I just hope they "get it". I'm rarely sure that what I want is reasonable, especially in early stages, so trying to tell them seems near impossible! Or demanding, etc.
A psychologist who actually helps people mature. You are so welcome! Greetings from Greece. The southern capital of infantilism in the eastern Mediterranean
I have recently stepped into a new relationship and found this so valuable to reevaluate myself and my expectations. This is definitely journal worthy for me to write and reflect back on, and definitely want to open up a conversation around these things in the relationship.
Yes my expectations are idealistic wanting the honey moon phase to last throughout the entire relationship. As a result of trauma conflict blurred my logic of what healthy love is.But I've come to realize flexibility is important and acceptance of your partners humanness, which is their divineright to exist In different ways outside of that limited lens that may of been placed on them.
I have blamed myself for my expectations in the past and found myself unhappy in my relationships. But now I trust myself more with those expectations. Is it too much to ask for, to find your partner attractive, to be able to have good conversations and to be able to share some leisure aciivities?
David add laugh with, make money with, impact the world positively with and have heart nurturing bomb ass sex with😁🤭 Our needs are not too much, nurturing ourselves is the best way to feel full in relationship.
My unrealistic relationship expectation is to keep in touch with my partner every day in a long distance relationship. I expect to Know about his life on a daily basis. I want to be assured that he is there for me. Exchange love messages. I realise this is unrealistic as each of us have our own life to deal with and this can make the relationship a liability.
I don't think this is unrealistic at all. You guys are long distance, so you have to make up for not being present by being engaged in one another lives another way. But what do I know? lol best wishes.
I have the same expectation. I can’t tell if it’s realistic or not. It is what works for me, but I am learning that it only works for him if things are going well. Otherwise he needs more space. It’s very hard to find the realistic place in between.
Thank you for your video, I’m learning and finding out that I do have high expectations on my husband and that causes me stress, anger, resentment basically nothing good and it pulls me away from him where I build a wall when he doesn’t meet them. I’m seeing that it’s definitely not the right way to handle things. I just need help taking a different route on how to approach when there not met and how to cancel them out if they can’t be fixed at that exact moment.
Mind reading I guess. I don't say things sometimes. What's obvious to me is Not to others I guess. It seems I am more sensitive to what others are needing with out them having to express it. But that doesn't mean that they can read my mind I guess.
There are no relationships without conflicts, ups and downs and problems. It's about how the conflicts are handled. If she is in combative mode and always throws a rage it's impossible to deal with such a person. If she understands that a man wants peace, and civile conflict resolutions it's more like to last.
Searching for the one the soulmate is the greatest con of all and only adds more confusion to the great delusion of romantic love and the many train wrecks of our happy ever afters.
My partner said "don't should on me and I won't should on you" This can also be said Don't shit on me and I won't shit on you. Words can be weapons or tools. War begets war. Peace begets peace.
I want to know things about my boyfriend like I ask questions about his family, his day, his interests etc…. But he never asks me questions about me and it’s disappointing. Is this an unrealistic expectation I have?
Thanks 😍 peace and love❤️❤️❤️please dr. Nicole i had issues with my dad i love him he was very kind at the point ican say he had no personality at all and he was absent due a divorce since i had 2 years but i love him now i had victimized emotions but everyone i meet left me i don’t know how to heal sorry I’m not English speaker
Community help please ! What should I take into consideration if I recognise my partner having those expectations? I was dating a girl. I always felt there was something off. Now I realise she ticks one box after another from this video's list. I am happy to see that's not me being unrealistic. I also notice she turns many things personally and sabotages herself. And even then... I still don't mind and I still love her! But I do notice its starting to take some energy and I doubt myself.
What are some ways to learn to understand yourself to feel completed. Learning how to tell your not avoiding and being healthy when your self caring. Funny saying, bored. I tell my nieces and nephews, the definition of being bored is you yourself are boring. People can fly through hoops for you but if you choose not to have fun, your going to stay bored.
If you mean by connection/ attraction as having attracted to gender friends its a hard boundary for me . Someone can but I wouldn't move past with benefits status with them . I wouldn't enter a serious monogamous relationship with them . I have colleagues I am friendly in work but I don't do FRIENDS and wouldn't let someone into my life who talked about personal stuff with anyone other than a therapist.
Remain single and simply avoid unrealistic relationship expectations altogether. You may feel lonely in the moment craving both physical and emotional intimacy but consider how much more lonely you'll feel living in the icebox of a disconnected and dead relationship. Do yourself a favor and leave the myth of romantic love behind. As for so called authentic love it's overpriced and overrated and only for the dedicated few who can cope with it's many challenges, compromises, and setbacks.
The equal exchange of time, money and attention and effort. Several ladies and past relationships want you to take them out, spend money on dinner, events, concerts etc. Or talk about issues or drama they are having (yet they just want you to listen and NOT provide ideas to fix it they just want to blah blah blah on). What are they providing in exchange? Hint ladies, 😺.
As the financial planners who work with self-made millionaires know, the money habits of the newly rich are practices that just about anyone can learn from, no matter what your financial situation when you first start out.
I believe my unrealistic expectation is that my partner and I always have to have these deep and long conversations and if we don't then we are most likely not connecting. We also are in a long-distance relationship.
I can relate to this. Small talk drives me crazy and makes me think I’m not bonding with people
I share this too and I’m also in a LDR 😭🙃
I too share this, but I live with my partner.
long distance is hard. Sometimes all you need is a hug in person. Digital hug doesnt work
Yeah I feel this. I want to have have deep convo with my partner since we are doing long distance and so we set a time and I feel upset when he doesn’t show up in time because I feel like he isn’t caring enough to pay attention to the time 💀
Thank you; your videos are so insightful, succinct and helpful. They’re like mini seminars. I always leave feeling empowered.
The boredom one hit home. My partner hates my daily routine & uses it to say I'm living a dull life. I have to have a routine for myself & my son. I feel he constantly causes fights so that he can have those extreme highs & lows he probably grew up with.. but this rollercoaster behavior is becoming too much for me. One needs stability & security & sure we can work things into the weekly routines to break the monotony but endless creation of issues just isn't the way.
Oh the mind reading especially! Thanks for the video. I'm afraid I will sound too needy or neurotic or whatever so I just hope they "get it". I'm rarely sure that what I want is reasonable, especially in early stages, so trying to tell them seems near impossible! Or demanding, etc.
A psychologist who actually helps people mature. You are so welcome! Greetings from Greece. The southern capital of infantilism in the eastern Mediterranean
I have recently stepped into a new relationship and found this so valuable to reevaluate myself and my expectations. This is definitely journal worthy for me to write and reflect back on, and definitely want to open up a conversation around these things in the relationship.
Yes my expectations are idealistic wanting the honey moon phase to last throughout the entire relationship. As a result of trauma conflict blurred my logic of what healthy love is.But I've come to realize flexibility is important and acceptance of your partners humanness, which is their divineright to exist In different ways outside of that limited lens that may of been placed on them.
Wow. What an amazing perspective. Props to you for coming to that realization on your own.
I have blamed myself for my expectations in the past and found myself unhappy in my relationships. But now I trust myself more with those expectations. Is it too much to ask for, to find your partner attractive, to be able to have good conversations and to be able to share some leisure aciivities?
David add laugh with, make money with, impact the world positively with and have heart nurturing bomb ass sex with😁🤭
Our needs are not too much, nurturing ourselves is the best way to feel full in relationship.
No I think that’s reasonable
My unrealistic relationship expectation is to keep in touch with my partner every day in a long distance relationship. I expect to Know about his life on a daily basis. I want to be assured that he is there for me. Exchange love messages. I realise this is unrealistic as each of us have our own life to deal with and this can make the relationship a liability.
Thank you for expressing this... It's exactly what I am seeing for myself this very moment. Hope you are doing well!
I don't think this is unrealistic at all. You guys are long distance, so you have to make up for not being present by being engaged in one another lives another way. But what do I know? lol best wishes.
I have the same expectation. I can’t tell if it’s realistic or not. It is what works for me, but I am learning that it only works for him if things are going well. Otherwise he needs more space. It’s very hard to find the realistic place in between.
Thank you for your video, I’m learning and finding out that I do have high expectations on my husband and that causes me stress, anger, resentment basically nothing good and it pulls me away from him where I build a wall when he doesn’t meet them. I’m seeing that it’s definitely not the right way to handle things. I just need help taking a different route on how to approach when there not met and how to cancel them out if they can’t be fixed at that exact moment.
Mind reading I guess. I don't say things sometimes. What's obvious to me is Not to others I guess. It seems I am more sensitive to what others are needing with out them having to express it. But that doesn't mean that they can read my mind I guess.
There are no relationships without conflicts, ups and downs and problems. It's about how the conflicts are handled. If she is in combative mode and always throws a rage it's impossible to deal with such a person. If she understands that a man wants peace, and civile conflict resolutions it's more like to last.
Killing it as always!!
Definitely afraid of conflict. Could you make a video about what conflict in a healthy relationship looks like?
Searching for the one the soulmate is the greatest con of all and only adds more confusion to the great delusion of romantic love and the many train wrecks of our happy ever afters.
Thank you. 😭
My partner said "don't should on me and I won't should on you"
This can also be said
Don't shit on me and I won't shit on you.
Words can be weapons or tools.
War begets war.
Peace begets peace.
My mom had little attunement to me so I have to be careful to care for myself.
Thank you🙏🏼
I had them all :)
Not solve all your problem or need or unrealistic expectation, but ep you when bad
My wrong expectation was that i that I have to be perfect and satisfy my partner in all his needs. 😪
Thanks so much
The Mind reading expectation is where I falter.
And usually others won’t meet my needs…
I spend more time thinking about my partner and what hes doing than about getting on with my own life. He is the reverse....how can that ever work ...
I have/ had almost all of them.. ;(. I wonder why the relationships were difficult..
I want to know things about my boyfriend like I ask questions about his family, his day, his interests etc…. But he never asks me questions about me and it’s disappointing. Is this an unrealistic expectation I have?
My expectation of man is that they make first move, and they need to pursue women with more energy
@Mo Nothanks not true
This is feminine energy and absolutely valid
This is feminine energy and absolutely valid
My expectations will stay where they are. Those who can't or won't meet them are not invited. :)
Thanks 😍 peace and love❤️❤️❤️please dr. Nicole i had issues with my dad i love him he was very kind at the point ican say he had no personality at all and he was absent due a divorce since i had 2 years but i love him now i had victimized emotions but everyone i meet left me i don’t know how to heal sorry I’m not English speaker
Community help please !
What should I take into consideration if I recognise my partner having those expectations?
I was dating a girl. I always felt there was something off. Now I realise she ticks one box after another from this video's list. I am happy to see that's not me being unrealistic. I also notice she turns many things personally and sabotages herself. And even then... I still don't mind and I still love her!
But I do notice its starting to take some energy and I doubt myself.
Get her out of the door, you cannot fix anyone
What are some ways to learn to understand yourself to feel completed. Learning how to tell your not avoiding and being healthy when your self caring. Funny saying, bored. I tell my nieces and nephews, the definition of being bored is you yourself are boring. People can fly through hoops for you but if you choose not to have fun, your going to stay bored.
If you mean by connection/ attraction as having attracted to gender friends its a hard boundary for me . Someone can but I wouldn't move past with benefits status with them . I wouldn't enter a serious monogamous relationship with them . I have colleagues I am friendly in work but I don't do FRIENDS and wouldn't let someone into my life who talked about personal stuff with anyone other than a therapist.
interesting video ✅✅
Remain single and simply avoid unrealistic relationship expectations altogether. You may feel lonely in the moment craving both physical and emotional intimacy but consider how much more lonely you'll feel living in the icebox of a disconnected and dead relationship. Do yourself a favor and leave the myth of romantic love behind. As for so called authentic love it's overpriced and overrated and only for the dedicated few who can cope with it's many challenges, compromises, and setbacks.
you look so tired in this video lol
get some rest
The equal exchange of time, money and attention and effort.
Several ladies and past relationships want you to take them out, spend money on dinner, events, concerts etc. Or talk about issues or drama they are having (yet they just want you to listen and NOT provide ideas to fix it they just want to blah blah blah on).
What are they providing in exchange? Hint ladies, 😺.
As the financial planners who work with self-made millionaires know, the money habits of the newly rich are practices that just about anyone can learn from, no matter what your financial situation when you first start out.