Amen. We have come a long way since gay men could not be open without suffering ostracism from their own families and society. And we have further to go.
It's something of a tragedy that in a case like this, Nick becomes the sensible adult and the father becomes an unreasonable, sulky child. The roles are reversed, and it just shouldn't be that way. Well done, Nick, in being mature and strong enough to show patience.
I got estranged 17y from mine. I cried for 3 hours the first time I saw him. He had suffered 5 strokes and was in a fragile state. He passed a year later. I was just recently able to process all the emotions it gave me.
Great story, Nick, congrats for navigating that situation. Went thru it with my husband of 31 years....he's also from New Jersey, Italian family, and what my husband experienced was so similar (I'm west coast non-Italian, so the cultural divide was great and very interesting for me LOL.) In the end we took care of both his parents, and I was like another son to them.
I feel your pain. Dad didn’t speak to me for 12 years when I came out. We were fortunate to have him back in our lives for his last 16 years on this earth. Hugs.
Absolutely , luv this 👑👊🏾❤️ The message is so wonderful ! I feel as Gay peeps ...of course all of the spectrums ❤️ We forget that parents may need more time . Sometimes we need to give them room to go as far as they can. I think when dealing with parents and others . We must not forget our own inner struggle of acceptance and self love ❤️💙💜💚💛🧡🤎 Unfortunately , some of us never get there nor do some parents .
This was a tremendous story and Nick told it in such a way that I was spellbound from beginning to end. Nick's dignity, excellent articulation and straightforward manner all speak volumes about what a wonderful messenger he is for those of us who are gay...and for any individual who values family dynamics and meaningful relationships within that context. Great video.
Took my Dad 25 yrs and took every day after to make it up! Including throwing a baby shower for a gay couple he ended up knowing I kept thinking who is this man🤣🤣. He is gone now but I’m so glad we had those years❤️🌈🌈
Did he ever apologize? Seven years ignoring you and, because he's sick and vulnerable, you're suddenly his son again? I would need more than a shaver to move on.
I had a brother stop talking to me for 10 years because his wack gf told him something i said to turn him against me.. something i never said. They broke up and he sent me a text saying sorry and that she was a b and I replied "you ignored me for 10 years.. it broke my heart.. but now Im over it. You made you bed and youre going to lie in it. There are consequences for such actions. You will never see me again". Sounds harsh maybe but thats the way I feel after what he did.
What an awesome man to share your story here. Handsome. Your partner is a lucky guy to have you. At 60 I'm still trying to find my other half before it's too late. 🙏❤
What might conclude that illness or the specter of death had made his father come to his senses or at least made the wall between he and his son come down a bit. It's just a shame that it would take one's sense of one's own mortality. But then again it's better than never or when it's TOO late!!!
It's amazing to me . That they are the parents they held you as a baby and said to you . I love you a million times . And then one day you find out that they don't accept you . 7 years without talking to your own son because . Not every case ends like Nick's . We have 2 gay neighbors one is a realtor and the other a anesthesiologist and yes my kids play with their kids . The realtor hasn't spoken to his parents in 21 years . they disowned him because he came out to them 21 years ago . to this day he still loves them . Unfortunately it's mostly due to their religion . WTF is wrong with people .
As a gay bloke I actually can't blame his father for being annoyed at not being told when everyone else had. Personally I would have told everyone in quick succession to make sure nobody would end up working it out for themselves or being told by someone other than me. Then again I was always obviously gay even as a young kid so didn't really need to come out.
Good question. There might be something which, at this point of human history-evolution, is relevant related to sexuality. Almost everyone is interested in other's sexuality. Nobody asks if you have some moles on any of your arms or legs, but they do ask (at least where I live and since I have memory) if you're married, if you have children... (There is sexuality implied). Nobody cares the time you go to sleep or if you like coffee, but the sexual orientation means a lot for people. Why? I shall wait for an answer...
And gay dudes are great company! We lesbians are good in crisis situations like this, but we sometimes need a bit of help when it comes to just getting out and having fun, lol.
1 Timothy 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
I’ll NEVER be accepted by my father. I use to care but not so much. And to top it off I am doing so much better off than him. My mother is my best friend and from day one of me coming out to her it brought us closer. Not only that, she is so accepting and will stand up for anyone gay that is mistreated. My sister is trans and when she came out to my mother my mother took her out and they had a girls day. My mother took her to get her nails done and my mother was so happy and proud. She said, “I wish a MFer would get crazy.” But my mama has always accepted gay people even as a child, my mother has multiple gay cousins that she has always been close to. As a matter of fact, my entire mother’s side is accepting. My paternal side isn’t accepting and don’t like gay people. And NO my parents aren’t married. My mother can’t stand my father.
His family was not "anti-homophobic." They were homophobic. Nice people for the most part, but Nick went through a lot of crap due to their views. Nick is gorgeous, kind and generous. Lovely man. That is why I married him. Bellissimo Nicola!
I don't get it. So if your dad hadn't fallen ill and hadn't needed your help, he still wouldn't be talking to you ? He likes your partner enough to text him after having just met him but can't bring himself to text you ? He sound like a perfect arsehole to me. You're much kinder than I would have been... You're probably a better person than I. But where's your anger ?Why do you accept unacceptable behaviour ? Do you feel we DESERVE to be treated like shit for being gay ? Would you see this person if he wasn't your father ? What has he done to deserve your kindness ? What kindness has he shown YOU ?
Here's another take-away. Do not let bitterness and pain become your new relationship replacing a severely damaged old relationshop. You have to remain open to the changes that you wanted to see before. Its not just queer people who have the right to re-invent themselves. Its homophobes too.
Thank god I dont come from a very traditional hispanic family because some of of our families are somewhat similar to italians , the language is similar and so is the family structure especially if its a spaniard or Argentinian family .
hopefully we're past the generations of parents who need time to 'accept' the children they chose to bring into the world. if parents need time, i suggest starting the clock of knowing 'this child may be lgbtqia+' the day you know you're pregnant. then you'll be ready when that kid needs you.
Sorte sua. Fico feliz por você e por seu pai. Eu não tive esse privilégio. Meu pai morreu sem aceitar a minha sexualidade e exercendo forte preconceito o que, evidentemente, prejudicou muito a minha história de vida. Ele foi extremamente homofóbico e há pouco tempo eu descobri evidências de que ele teve várias experiências homossexuais durante sua vida. Ou seja, um hipócrita, um monstro idiota. Mas acredito em Deus e acredito também que um dia encontrarei explicações para tudo o que aconteceu. Um amigo espiritualista disse-me que ele fracassou na missão que assumiu. Seja lá como for, cabe a mim, por ora, perdoar
Gay people need to stop making excuses for their toxic families. Healthy relationships are about respect, boundaries, encouragement, support, nurture, and patience. This is made even more jarring by the stats clearly bare out the psychological effects of homophobia, internalized and otherwise. From substance abuse and sex addiction, to homelessness and suicide, the reality is not pretty.
I am so glad the shaman had a good experience with his father. I did not get to be me, until my mother passed away. My mother was my only parent since I was eight years old. She never cared except for me for me. I was just an abomination in God’s eyes.
All respect but: Why does he need to bent into all kind of curves to tell people what they just take for granted ? Their love preference. Not all that long ago. About late nineties/2000 ? By the way: I’m 65. Came out in 1979. I think his father is younger then me. Also, his father created him. So If resentful, then blame yourself.
Sounds like your dad was upset that he was the only one left out. You included everyone in your open life but him...for over a year. He had to find out elsewhere and in other ways. Everyone was invited to your party...except him.
My daughter had a lesbian relationship, we only spoke by phone for a long time. In the end I managed to bring her back to having normal relationships. I can understand his Dad, so upsetting when our children are sexually mixed up. Lots of bad influences out there today.
Must be nice to have parents to share my gay life with. I was given away twice before the age of two by my biological mother, and never really adopted or taken in by my biological father and his new wife.
WHY do gays feel that they HAVE to come out to straights????!!!! I have NEVER understood this, and I never will. I have been gay all of my life and never felt the need to ever explain myself or who I am, to others! I have always said, when straights come out to me, then I will show them the same respect! PERIOD!!! Why do gays feel that they have to come out, to appease others???!!!
well like it was 7 years, not a lot of urgency there. and it's more that being in the closet is an active process, and coming out means ceasing that process of always applying this filter to yourself around others.
People shouldn't have to go through all of this just to be themselves.
Amen to that!!!
💯🎯
My biological parents disowned me when I came out my adopted family have been there from 14
Amen. We have come a long way since gay men could not be open without suffering ostracism from their own families and society. And we have further to go.
It's something of a tragedy that in a case like this, Nick becomes the sensible adult and the father becomes an unreasonable, sulky child. The roles are reversed, and it just shouldn't be that way. Well done, Nick, in being mature and strong enough to show patience.
I got estranged 17y from mine. I cried for 3 hours the first time I saw him. He had suffered 5 strokes and was in a fragile state. He passed a year later. I was just recently able to process all the emotions it gave me.
Great story, Nick, congrats for navigating that situation. Went thru it with my husband of 31 years....he's also from New Jersey, Italian family, and what my husband experienced was so similar (I'm west coast non-Italian, so the cultural divide was great and very interesting for me LOL.) In the end we took care of both his parents, and I was like another son to them.
What very handsome man! Great to hear his story.
ya, but as soon as he opens his mouth the illusion is destroyed.
I feel your pain. Dad didn’t speak to me for 12 years when I came out. We were fortunate to have him back in our lives for his last 16 years on this earth. Hugs.
Absolutely , luv this 👑👊🏾❤️ The message is so wonderful ! I feel as Gay peeps ...of course all of the spectrums ❤️ We forget that parents may need more time . Sometimes we need to give them room to go as far as they can. I think when dealing with parents and others . We must not forget our own inner struggle of acceptance and self love ❤️💙💜💚💛🧡🤎 Unfortunately , some of us never get there nor do some parents .
What a terrific guy! Thanks for sharing your family story on TH-cam.
I adore the truth of this channel and the way it reminds us all of the importance of living our authentic lives. Love always wins .
Thank you so much!!!
Great story! As other commentors have said - you are a gorgeous hunk. Your partner is a lucky man!
This was a tremendous story and Nick told it in such a way that I was spellbound from beginning to end. Nick's dignity, excellent articulation and straightforward manner all speak volumes about what a wonderful messenger he is for those of us who are gay...and for any individual who values family dynamics and meaningful relationships within that context. Great video.
Took my Dad 25 yrs and took every day after to make it up! Including throwing a baby shower for a gay couple he ended up knowing I kept thinking who is this man🤣🤣. He is gone now but I’m so glad we had those years❤️🌈🌈
Did he ever apologize? Seven years ignoring you and, because he's sick and vulnerable, you're suddenly his son again? I would need more than a shaver to move on.
I had a brother stop talking to me for 10 years because his wack gf told him something i said to turn him against me.. something i never said. They broke up and he sent me a text saying sorry and that she was a b and I replied "you ignored me for 10 years.. it broke my heart.. but now Im over it. You made you bed and youre going to lie in it. There are consequences for such actions. You will never see me again". Sounds harsh maybe but thats the way I feel after what he did.
This guy is too nice. I only doing one hospital visit. For any more, a conversation would need to be had.
This is going to help a lot of people....very honest and powerful message...
What a gorgeous hunk🏳️🌈
I totally agree!!!!😛
Yes, but hardly the point of the video.
A great daddy type
@@HungVu-vs3dvreally…
Wonderful sharing. Thanks!!
Thanks 🙏
God bless you and love one🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Thanks for sharing I learnt from you too🎁🧚🏾🧚🏾🌻🌻❤️🎀
You are such a nice man.
What a beautiful story! 🥰❤
What an awesome man to share your story here. Handsome. Your partner is a lucky guy to have you. At 60 I'm still trying to find my other half before it's too late. 🙏❤
I love gay guys 😂
These stories make me think how much of a burden it is for people to go through this. As an ally I try to get other's to open their mind.
Thank you for your support. Allies are the most important people when it comes to LGBT rights.
From what you said, Dad was upset that he wasn't one of the first to know. All that wasted time. He was accepting from the beginning.
It shouldn't "take time" to love and accept your child.
What an awesome story!
It must have been hard. Unfortunately it happens a lot. You were brave. Glad it was a happy ending.
What might conclude that illness or the specter of death had made his father come to his senses or at least made the wall between he and his son come down a bit. It's just a shame that it would take one's sense of one's own mortality. But then again it's better than never or when it's TOO late!!!
Great story and presentation. I am glad that things did turn out well for you. God Bless..
Love this 😍
It's amazing to me . That they are the parents they held you as a baby and said to you . I love you a million times . And then one day you find out that they don't accept you . 7 years without talking to your own son because . Not every case ends like Nick's . We have 2 gay neighbors one is a realtor and the other a anesthesiologist and yes my kids play with their kids . The realtor hasn't spoken to his parents in 21 years . they disowned him because he came out to them 21 years ago . to this day he still loves them . Unfortunately it's mostly due to their religion . WTF is wrong with people .
Beautiful story. Thank you
Love it. I have not seen my Dad in since 1983.
Same as me 40 years on his gone now
Almost cried. Not easy at all!!
Great story . Happy you’re doing well . 👍😊
Super handsome.
As a gay bloke I actually can't blame his father for being annoyed at not being told when everyone else had. Personally I would have told everyone in quick succession to make sure nobody would end up working it out for themselves or being told by someone other than me. Then again I was always obviously gay even as a young kid so didn't really need to come out.
Good guy. Im pleased he has healed that relationship
Another tough touching story 🙏
Why does it matter if people are gay or straight, I wonder… People are people 🤷🏻♀️
Happy new year from Norway, btw
Good question. There might be something which, at this point of human history-evolution, is relevant related to sexuality. Almost everyone is interested in other's sexuality. Nobody asks if you have some moles on any of your arms or legs, but they do ask (at least where I live and since I have memory) if you're married, if you have children... (There is sexuality implied). Nobody cares the time you go to sleep or if you like coffee, but the sexual orientation means a lot for people. Why? I shall wait for an answer...
For the family it's sad very very sad. They are not accepting they are letting him know that they love him. It's not the same thing.
Always own your truth. 🌈❤
He looks the The Rock 😆😆😆😆
Lesbians are the best soul mates
And gay dudes are great company! We lesbians are good in crisis situations like this, but we sometimes need a bit of help when it comes to just getting out and having fun, lol.
Yeah, Nick doesn’t have to even say much. He’s impressing more than just the women with that physique. Way to rep the gay men Nick!!!
Thank you for keep trying. Some people needs time.
The contentious area did not seem to be that he was gay, but that he had not been forthcoming to people who expected this.
Wow.I'm crying like a baby..cuz my dad walk out on me after j come out
I'm from Toms River too!
My first thought was, I'm proud of the dad
Thats a handsome hunk of man with a beautiful story.
whaat a cute hunk!!
YOUR AWESOME ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🌈 ALWAYS LIV YOUR TRUTH
My family is still in denial
You’re quite a guy, beautiful Nick.
Great story, cute guy.
Ant wait until the day his father is walking him down the aisle…. I hope that moment happens." Be happy 😃
Oh Nick
Beautiful 🥰❤️
1 Timothy 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
ohhhhhhh😍
He's a very handsome man 👏
I’ll NEVER be accepted by my father. I use to care but not so much. And to top it off I am doing so much better off than him. My mother is my best friend and from day one of me coming out to her it brought us closer. Not only that, she is so accepting and will stand up for anyone gay that is mistreated. My sister is trans and when she came out to my mother my mother took her out and they had a girls day. My mother took her to get her nails done and my mother was so happy and proud. She said, “I wish a MFer would get crazy.” But my mama has always accepted gay people even as a child, my mother has multiple gay cousins that she has always been close to. As a matter of fact, my entire mother’s side is accepting. My paternal side isn’t accepting and don’t like gay people. And NO my parents aren’t married. My mother can’t stand my father.
I never reconciled with my father....ever. And he is dead now.
Wow I was estranged 27 years from mine. Then he died.
That happens too
His family was not "anti-homophobic." They were homophobic. Nice people for the most part, but Nick went through a lot of crap due to their views. Nick is gorgeous, kind and generous. Lovely man. That is why I married him. Bellissimo Nicola!
Be true to yourself. He looks like a good fitness trainer
Handsome man
I don't get it. So if your dad hadn't fallen ill and hadn't needed your help, he still wouldn't be talking to you ? He likes your partner enough to text him after having just met him but can't bring himself to text you ? He sound like a perfect arsehole to me. You're much kinder than I would have been... You're probably a better person than I.
But where's your anger ?Why do you accept unacceptable behaviour ? Do you feel we DESERVE to be treated like shit for being gay ? Would you see this person if he wasn't your father ? What has he done to deserve your kindness ? What kindness has he shown YOU ?
Here's another take-away. Do not let bitterness and pain become your new relationship replacing a severely damaged old relationshop. You have to remain open to the changes that you wanted to see before. Its not just queer people who have the right to re-invent themselves. Its homophobes too.
Thank god I dont come from a very traditional hispanic family because some of of our families are somewhat similar to italians , the language is similar and so is the family structure especially if its a spaniard or Argentinian family .
hopefully we're past the generations of parents who need time to 'accept' the children they chose to bring into the world. if parents need time, i suggest starting the clock of knowing 'this child may be lgbtqia+' the day you know you're pregnant. then you'll be ready when that kid needs you.
Damn he’s handsome
Amazing bod to go with handsome face and most endearing man
Sorte sua. Fico feliz por você e por seu pai.
Eu não tive esse privilégio. Meu pai morreu sem aceitar a minha sexualidade e exercendo forte preconceito o que, evidentemente, prejudicou muito a minha história de vida.
Ele foi extremamente homofóbico e há pouco tempo eu descobri evidências de que ele teve várias experiências homossexuais durante sua vida. Ou seja, um hipócrita, um monstro idiota.
Mas acredito em Deus e acredito também que um dia encontrarei explicações para tudo o que aconteceu.
Um amigo espiritualista disse-me que ele fracassou na missão que assumiu.
Seja lá como for, cabe a mim, por ora, perdoar
did he honestly think that nobody knew he was gay and it's pretty obvious
Who is this guy?
Lesbian friends are the best :)
Gay people need to stop making excuses for their toxic families. Healthy relationships are about respect, boundaries, encouragement, support, nurture, and patience. This is made even more jarring by the stats clearly bare out the psychological effects of homophobia, internalized and otherwise. From substance abuse and sex addiction, to homelessness and suicide, the reality is not pretty.
It's been 5 years since I've seen my family. Had to get away.
I am so glad the shaman had a good experience with his father. I did not get to be me, until my mother passed away. My mother was my only parent since I was eight years old. She never cared except for me for me. I was just an abomination in God’s eyes.
😍😍😍😍😍
lucky guy many years after coming out and have yet to have a partner. ;😒
All respect but: Why does he need to bent into all kind of curves to tell people what they just take for granted ? Their love preference. Not all that long ago. About late nineties/2000 ?
By the way: I’m 65. Came out in 1979. I think his father is younger then me. Also, his father created him. So If resentful, then blame yourself.
he had to come out? lol.. with that voice?
No doubt one doesn't need to pay anything to write here.
I genuinely hate the new theme song
Ok, but imposition of one’s identity by family isn’t a gay thing; try being a woman over 60. It’s not about gay, it’s about not loving your kids.
not loving your kids sounds like a you problem
Just goes to show that relationships with parents are complicated because no one should stick around to be treated like that. You are a good son
yum
Sounds like your dad was upset that he was the only one left out. You included everyone in your open life but him...for over a year. He had to find out elsewhere and in other ways. Everyone was invited to your party...except him.
My daughter had a lesbian relationship, we only spoke by phone for a long time. In the end I managed to bring her back to having normal relationships. I can understand his Dad, so upsetting when our children are sexually mixed up. Lots of bad influences out there today.
This is humor, right?
Gross.
@@BTURNER1961 I hope it is
unfortunately people that do this exist
What ?
Must be nice to have parents to share my gay life with. I was given away twice before the age of two by my biological mother, and never really adopted or taken in by my biological father and his new wife.
okay.. but whats his instagram :D
Good point
WHY do gays feel that they HAVE to come out to straights????!!!! I have NEVER understood this, and I never will. I have been gay all of my life and never felt the need to ever explain myself or who I am, to others! I have always said, when straights come out to me, then I will show them the same respect! PERIOD!!! Why do gays feel that they have to come out, to appease others???!!!
Since you've said that you will never understand it then there is no point in trying to explain it. Straight people come out to me all the time.
@@exnihilo415 Straight come out to you all the time for what???! That’s pure stupidity!!! What’s is there to “come out to”….for anyone???!
well like it was 7 years, not a lot of urgency there.
and it's more that being in the closet is an active process, and coming out means ceasing that process of always applying this filter to yourself around others.
@@AN-sk6ng Female coworker: “Hi, this is my husband, Dave” This is coming out to someone as straight or (low odds play) bisexual.
@@exnihilo415 And that is not needed. Be yourself and leave the LABELS out of it!!?