God, please grant this woman the SERENITY to accept the things she cannot change, the COURAGE to change the things that she can, and the WISDOM to know the difference.
Been there, done that. The best revenge is to forgive, heal, and become better. I can tell you from personal experience there is nothing more satisfying than seeing your ex and you feel NOTHING when they walk into the room. You can smile, speak, and wish him well. I'm telling you it's possible. The road is tedious I'm not gone lie and some times you will feel you'll never heal but fast, pray, and stay as close to God on a DAILY basis. Read Psalms 37 and truly commit your way to the Lord.
NEVER do this! Grant the person forgiveness, and move on with your life. Men don’t respect women who take them back, even if they WANT to. NO second chance...He’s lucky he got one.
Childdd did he say he left her for the “coworker.” He moved in with the coworker playing house, and when that didn’t work out he had the nerve to get upset that she was playing around with another guy. I understand, that she forgave him since they were so young, but when he tried to make her out to be the bad person because she tried to move on too that was RED FLAG all day. Sorry this happened to you lady, but he will never honor you the way you feel you should be honored.
She is the problem not him she need to move on and keep praying over her kids life. He basically said he don’t won’t her and he is getting married she needs to heal and move on and process the change💯Women you know always have the eye for your man watch the cut throat women in your circles and surrounds💯👁
My husband and I met at the end of February 05 and we married at the beginning of May 05 and I'm so grateful to announce that we have been together now for 14 years!!!
I’m sure you two meeting was a clean meeting and you both took time to heal from previous situations. That sort of thing can happen but it’s rare. Those that hop around and do dirt will get dirt. Happy for you!
STOP allowing men to just run a muck in your life ladies!! 3 babies and no committment, engagement or marriage!! This sounds like it was 15 years of going with the flow!! STOP thinking because you are friends with his family; that it means something! IT DOESN'T!! We have to set boundaries and stand by them no matter what. When you stay and tolerate BS you end up with BS. You should be thrilled that joker is gone and that he is someone else's problem. Put that behind on child support ASAP!!
Hallelujah 🙌 He wasted her youth and she is now upset about him doing in 3 months for another woman what he wouldn't do for her in 15 YEARS!!! Time is too precious to be wasted.
THANK YOU!!!!!!! Although I hate that she went through this shenanigans with this dude, but she ALLOWED this to happen because she settled. He was NOT loyal to her by ANY means, just because someone pops out kids for you doesn't mean nothing... Thankfully she is still young (29) isn't old by any means. She needs to get herself together, level up, and be prepared for the HUSBAND God has in store for her.
If he was a real man he would have married her. Laid with her all those years and had 3 babies and married someone else. What a loser! Yes soul ties are real.
This happened with me. My husband knew I was the one for him after three weeks. He courted me hard and asked me to marry him after three months. Now it’s 13 years later with three kids. We’re still happy.
Listening to this makes me appreciate my singleness. I'm happy, healthy, in love with myself, & free from any drama! Thank you Lord! Hallelujah Jesus! Amen. Get the knowledge ladies & love yourSELF! 💕🌼
Wow this is Soooo familiar... Baby girl speaking from experience... He has DID YOU A FAVOR.. TRUST GOD FOR WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.. BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY GOD IS READY TO BLESS YOU
God has someone better for her. The fact that she already has 3 kids is irrelevant. Her being a single mom with children will not be a deterrent to God bringing someone new into her life. Period🌟
@@thatbemefool I like that... I struggle with the label "single mom", but "single women with children", is so much easier to process and removes the sting for some reason. Thank you for the much needed clarification.
Yes they will,my sister dated a man for 15 years with three kids together...he married the NEXT woman within the years ....but now he wish he would have married my sister..
Rule of thumb... A man will marry you because you didn’t give up everything. When a man chooses a wife he looks at that no matter how much fornicating he himself did in his past.
Come on with it broke up with my ex after being with him 5 years 2 months later a new females months later they had a child he was already dealing with her now this was 2016 here it is 2020 he ask for sex sometimes no who I'm deal with etc but still with the girl smh soul ties we have a child together he treat me like shit smh
Hes right. I been was in a similar situation. Been w a man 5 yrs, we broke up& 2weeks later he announced getting married to another woman. I wanted to die. I took 7 years to heal. Long story short, 3 years later his wife remarried another man. He tried coming to me, I was so heal & free from him. I laugh & told him have a bless life lol
He's going to eventually treat the wife bad also. He sounds very narcissistic to me. The writer should be happy he's gone, set some strict boundaries and move on with her life. None of what he has done is from God!
I know she is hurt and understandably so. However count your blessings he is not worth your time. This man is a NARCISSIST. There are several red flags and indicators that point to this. He is using this woman to triangulate/hurt you. He is projecting his negative feelings of self on to her. I would suggest that you seek therapy with someone who specializes in recovery from narcissistic relationships
Thank you I was wondering who knew exactly what this woman is going through. Yes, she is accountable for allowing him to treat her like that but that blind siding people, projecting, triangulation...all classic narcissism.
She was 15 when they got together and was clearly under emotional manipulation for 15 years. As a result her self esteem is destroyed and likely does not know how to move on as this male is still in her head. Doesn’t sound like she had a mother or auntie or girlfriends available to help guide her. She needs professional help and after the thot he’s getting married to is in church I would not blame her for not wanting to go to any church for guidance.
Exactly!!! That’s what happens when you play house having kids with a man you’re not married to. They are NOT married, and she’s acting like she’s separated from a husband. Men will only do what you allow. That lady has no allegiance to her, they were just at the same church. She does need to heal and move on.
This is why my daddy wouldn't let us have boyfriends when we were teenagers. My daddy taught us and was very involved in our lives as young girls. He knew we weren't mature enough to date. My first friend wasn't until I was almost 20.
Shawn Reed I hope these fathers and mothers are teaching their teenagers how to date and how to value themselves. If not, waiting till you’re out of your teens to date is a mistake to me.
@@faa1412 Very true. I was raised in a two parent home. I can recall, most of the young girls around me didn't have much of a relationship with their fathers.
Not necessarily, the woman did not have to have known who you were to him, for that matter , know you period. Just, because she stood with the pastor, to pray for you. I'm sure, she have stood in back of lots of people, getting prayer without knowing them. In some Churches, they don't date, a man may approach, a woman and say that God said she is his wife, she then seeks the Lord and confirm, what he saying is true, if so, they get married. The woman's not desperate, she just trying to please God. Now the woman with the babies has no claim on him, except child support. If you find a man and begin to act like you are his wife and have 3 children, by him, without marriage. That man is still free to marry, someone else. You are free to marry also. I would not say this was the idea way he should have done you, but it is what you allowed. Needless to say, y'all arrangement wasn't base on the idea situation in the 1st place. Now if this man decides to let that old life go, and take on a whole new life that does not involve sin, you go too. He was fornicating with you. There is a possibility, that, he could not get that from the lady, unless he married her. There are consequences to our action. He owe you, child support and Repentants. However, he is free to move on. It hurt, but you need to be told the truth, so you can face reality. He has, in a way, givien you a glimse of what you should do, whether or not he is sincere with the woman or not. Move on, get your life together, find you some one that is of equally york, or better yet let him find you. Keep your standards up when he get there. I know lots of woman that get nice step dad's who love them, that has 3 or more kids. keep your head up! This is hypothetical, if indeed this is the type of Church they attend and your story occurred, like this. They could be all kinds of reason a person, do what they do. But the base of people action is usually based on the facts.
Bwoiiii the friends of mine who left dating late are usually the most naive and end up in the most nonsense when it comes to relationships and men because they lack experience. Get manipulated and screwed over the most. But to each their own I guess. Just cause you date doesn't mean you have to involve sex.
Let go, let God. 🙏🥺🤪. Been there, done that! Loved a man for 5 years, i broke up with him, we both cried but I believed that if he didn't marry me after 5 yrs Maybe I am Not the one for him. GUESS WHAT! BY THE NEXT YEAR HE WAS MARRYING SOMEONE ELSE. True! Yes, me and my new fiance went to the wedding, yes she was walking down the aisle in white and Pregnant. They are still married, I married had Daughter and divorced. Just sayin. I'm now dating and 66🤗
If what she describes in her email is even half of what the truth is, then this man is certainly no prize to anyone. Woe to the new woman in his life. Discernment is key!
If you want marriage, you have to operate as you do. No giving husband privileges without commitment. Date with a purpose, fill your life with building you. Also, I believe that people know what place they want or see you in their lives, this is for any relationship romantic or not. It does not take 10 years for him to figure this out. For example. That man will express is interest, love and what he wants.
Girl, please move on, he's a narcissist. He will come to you once his marriage goes array. Do not take him back, it's very painful I know from experience. Please heal yourself. Let him see y'all kids, put him on child support and get out and view the world when he has the kids. Maybe you'll find your Boaz one day.
@Christina A The Lord revealed to me that, the tears I cry now. Would have been multiplied, had I married my ex. Now you think, if he had married you and gave you two kids. He would be stepping out on you, like he's currently doing to his wife. Facts!
That was a LONG letter! Lol. She has to simply let go and move on. She can't control what that guy does. Sis, just go through the healing process and become whole again
My mom came to the U.S. with her 3 kids. My mom worked at a hotel. Cleaned the room for this tall white man with blue eyes (my Dad). My Dad did everything for my Mom & my 3 older sister's & brother. My Dad loved her and all of us the same. - Love will come to this girl, she's only 29 years old. She young, most probably beautiful, and there are plenty of good men out there. Not all men are loser's.
The sad part in this situation is with 3 kids her dating options are SEVERELY limited even with great looks. Men wasting women’s youth and womb is such a crime imo but you have to know if he’s not wifing you in the first year or so, leave him alone and keep it moving. He’ll marry the next in 2 months after wasting 2 many years of your life ❤️🙅🏽♀️
That isn't true with the children comment because I know plenty of women that have 3 kids or more and are being proposed to, married etc. I am 38, no kids and I am still single so the kids thing isn't a deal breaker....
@@miaporche2256 yes but your friends arent the majority. Its an epidemic. Ppl losing jobs. No men aint trying to add extra on their plate. Alot of men now are wanting to build their own legacy from scratch if you have been watching.
I have been there. God has moved him out of the way for a better man. I tried to hold on to my ex and in the end, he married another woman only to be divorced wi5hin about a year or so. One of his ex-wife's elderly relatives stopped me one day and whispered to me that I should be glad I didn't marry him and that was all she said. then I started seeing things that made me praise God for moving him out the way🏃. Now I pity him. What goes around comes back around
@@Cutegirl8614 it can. It may hurt for a while but u have to choose you. There may be a blessing just waiting on u but you have to do first thing a first. Turn the situation a loose and watch better come to u and it may be when you least expect it.😊
This is awful. I don't know this woman, and I am angry for her. Her EX is as classic as a Narcissist! That's what some young toxic men do their looking for help. It don't matter...that marriage won't be blessed no matter who he thought he heard.
Women like the one he is about to marry only listens to one side-the man's side and I guarantee his story sounds a whole lot different than the ex-wife. But give it a couple of months and the new wife will start to see the real him and it won't be glittering like he made it seem. Fast forward 2 yrs or less and they too will be divorced and he'll be trying to get back. At which point the ex should be telling him to kick rocks with no shoes on. He seems to be one of those men who can't lead so he will always be looking for a woman whose strength is greater than his and who is willing to take on the leadership role in the home while he sit back and play the woman role in the relationship. To the wife - this is actually a blessing. You just can't see it now because of the pain. After you heal you'll ask yourself what was I thinking!!!
They were never married. And while the man sounds like a jerk the woman has to take some responsibility. No man can play you unless you allow yourself to be played. Not once in the letter did she take any responsibility for being in that situation. You can make a man love you or stay with you or marry you. Move on just like he moved on.
Who hurt you! You have to be a miserable ass bitch to speak a whole scenario of demise upon their marriage smh she could be the woman that enlightens him. Y’all need to get a life seriously instead of spectating all the time
@@larkford4460 @ I agree with you to a degree. However, at the same time, the truth is, any marriage or relationship that is based on lies, deceit and a weak foundation and most importantly without God doesn't have much of a survival rate. If he is the man as described in the letter, no woman can "enlighten him", he would need to let GOD do that type of work in his life. If he submits himself to the power of God, than yes, his marriage to the new woman will have a chance to work out great.
Hes not coming back. You all need to stop lying and speak what you know. This woman is broken searching for any offense fueled with a drive to catch because its the only thing that keeps her connected. Hes moving on with a mindset to evolve. Nobody wants a contentious fault finding woman
@@iamwill2283 you're right and wrong lol sometimes when they "come back" to check your pulse lol if the woman becomes a phenoix she will burn him with her light... If not... The cycle may start again ...or go nowhere
@@iamwill2283 maybe be will, maybe not either way she doesn't need him. He sounds like a problem. A confused mess. Listen to all his poor selfish decisions. Hopefully she won't allow him to come back.
Just because you have children with someone doesn’t mean you’re right for each other! And if he was single why would the other lady not date him-just because she hugged her and sat behind her at prayer? She didn’t have a relationship with her. She owes her NOTHING!!!
Because all he did, to have children with a woman without really loving her, shows his character and lack of faith! As Tony Gaskins said, how are her character and faith then if can stay with such man..maybe is fault of both of them, she also should not stay with him if he didn't felt to marry her. I don't judge, we have to see their actions to provr the love what they pretend, not believe the words. i had my part of stupidity to stay with a grown boy who was telling that he loves me infinitely, but when i got sick, he ran away, washed his hands, shaked his shoulders, from any responssibility, didn't had emotional support from him, he pretended to have faith in God, but God showed me truth, this behaviour is against conscience, against faith.
This is why I FIRMLY feel that in MOST cases, I do not suggest young ppl staying together from teen years into adulthood. It’s ALL you know, you’re usually wide eyed and nose open. I think men and women need experiences, good times, get your heart broken and then you grow to learn yourself more, love yourself more and can then appreciate a person who comes into your life and brings the things you deserve and desire. He’s a immature young man who will reap what’s he’s sewn. The lady needs to heal, learn from this and grow from this. Love yourself inside and out to move forward.
Yes I know a woman who just turned 40 and knew her hubby when she was 18 . I heard her say one day that she misses being single lol . She said she really didn’t live life how she should have
Juschelle williams I only think you do because if it don't happen when you're younger, by the time you're 40 you'll be somewhere standing over a bridge or standing in the mirror with a bottle of pills in your hands. I think it teaches you to be stronger and not to think that everything is promised. That's just been my experience personally and indirectly through a few friends.
Whew the quotes he dropped 😯 “she’s desperate, dumb, and naive” he said that lady is a rebound and he’s using her. This is crazy I hope the bm gets far far away and full custody of her kids this man wasn’t raised right, his family is toxic clearly and that’s where he’s even coming up with that terminology. Be blessed he didn’t lock you into being forcefully dragged for life by being married to him, count that blessing twice!
Tony I pray that God continues to give you the patience to deal with situations that are obvious to you but not to others and the wisdom to advise these people. In Jesus name Amen. Fr fr!!
What is the dilemma? Why was she concerned with him being in a relationship, if they are no longer together? I understand wanting to know who was around your kids. But she sounds like she is extremely hurt that he is getting married. Surely she has seen this before, it happens all the time. The man will string you along for 10,000 years knowing he does not want to marry you. Then he will meet someone new and marry her in a short time. Let it go.
My ex and I split up 3 mo after him and I had a baby together. We were together for 10 yrs. Now he is with a women who is a Christian and they both are in church now. I am glad of this because he is still apart of our baby's life ( she is 3 now) and I don't have to worry about what kind of women would be around her .Also I believe this women will help keep him grounded.
Some relationships are simply not meant to be. Period. She has to continue to love herself and take care of her children. Go through the pain, then get past it. Live your best life. Meet the woman, stay strong then move on. WE ALL HAVE TO DO IT
Hello Tony. Please let this lady KNOW that there is nothing new under the sun and she is NOT ALONE with this situation. I am 49 and endured the EXACT SITUATION with my ex husband whom I married twice. He is my First and 2nd husband I am his 1 & 3rd wife he is on wife #4 which is mirroring her situation. You gave excellent advice and I will say to her to honor the part of him that cared for her enough to at least tell her. I had 28 yrs and three children with my ex husband and he didn’t tell me ANYTHING and hasn’t spoken to me in 2 years. Let her know to place it on the alter AND FORGIVE HIM. She does not have to support his decision.. he is entitled to have a life outside of theirs... now he is only required to be an accountable Father. I know that it’s hard to swallow but tell her to use this lesson from God to heal to wholeness within herself. Be an example to her children in her testimony of agape love. Scars will heal if she lets GOD DO THE WORK. Let her know she has a circle ⭕️ of love in prayer for her during this storm.. but this to shall pass. Thank you 🙏.
Even though the writer said she left him, i think she wanted to secretly get back with the dirtbag. Sometimes women leave a dude secretly hoping that by leaving he'll miss the woman so much that he'll change. That's why she was devastated when she found out about the other woman. If she truly had moved on, she'd chill. I agree Tony, she needs to move on and really heal. She needs to be real real honest with herself.
God is not gonna tell a man to divorce your wife. This guy sounds like a textbook narcissist. He found new supply and discarded you in the most painful way. God bless this woman and strengthen her.
HE IS A NARCISSIST!!!! U ARE not alone!! Check many many others stories on you tube that might also really help you heal & understand what's going on!!
Yes,I dated one for 11 years we been broken up about 3 years now.he told me he was going to marry this other WOMEN after dating 2 when she leave her man ĻÔĻ
Can completely relate to this story. I made the mistake of having a child with a man who found it easy to run away from the relationship and marry someone else within 3 months after our final intent of trying to make it workout. And yes, this video is on spot. The best thing to do is move on. This means forgiving him for the pain and allowing God to take control of your life and maneuver you thru the healing process. It is a rough ride. However, you will reach that point of inner peace and true happiness which, is important in raising a child or children on your own. Happy mama equals happy child/children. This period will also teach you how to value yourself and find that person who will see and cherish that value in you. Stay away from men because you do not want to continue finding the same type of men that put you in this situation. Heal and God will put the right man at your side.
Sounds like he was never in love with her. Just there cuz she had his kids. This is the usual situation but why women keep trapping themselves with kids tryin to trap a man behooves me
FLgirlinTX I agree but let’s be honest. Many black Women become desperate because of the lack of quality available men. I wouldn’t beat up on the woman marrying him so much. You want children before it’s too late and you’re tired of being alone so many women settle otherwise they think they won’t ever get married. The main lesson here is do not keep having kids with a man you’re not married to. Kids don’t keep a man.
Why is she so focused and bothered? Their relationship is over! Did she think they were supposed to get back together?She left him for a good reason, and expected him NOT to move on. I don't believe that you have to always make it work, it depends on the circumstance. Sometimes God may even have someone better for you and your children if the relationship is toxic. So this mess is so petty to me, the devil is distracting her, she need to move on with her life. Be happy for him and find herself a worthy man.
Ummm I agree with Tony on a lot of things but it's 2019 these men ain't thinking about them kids...I would be amazed to find a man that says he gone stay and work it out for the kids..they are Rare!!
@@nodayzoff901...because who wants to get beat up all for nothing, while risking aids from a cheating partner? The child needs at least one of us to be healthy so... a Godless man will make u their victim forever if u let him.. live off of u, the works
He was mature enough to have kids, shack up, but not mature enough to get married?? Sis, LET THAT GO!! He showed u who he is in the way he went about this new relationship, and the relationship with that co-worker prior to this. Since u so close to his family use that to your advantage. The kids are old enough, let his family be the middle person for the kids until your heart heals. God got someone better for u. He's right, he is toxic for u. Cry your tears and LET THAT GO!
To the lady of this story, my story is similar to yours. Abuse and betrayal is a heartache. Like you, I kept waiting, hoping to keep my family together. Here is the first thing I did - I file for child support! Secondly, i started focusing on ME and my KIDS. The Almighty heard my prayers, and I got a new job, threw all his stuff I still had, in the garbage. I can't speak to him, and don't see him. I refuse to let my ex husband think that what he did to me was ok. My kids talk to him on the phone( we live in the same city). I started online classes and exercises at home. One day your children's father will regret what he did to you. Please pray for strength every day. Tell yourself each day that the Lord has something better and more joyful plan for you. 🌺
This man is broken. And using the other woman to suppress what is hidden. When he wakes up all hell is going to break loose. 1st wife pray for your husband children pray for your father. He will be coming back.
Omg the donkey he rode on 😆😆😆😆😆 Tony Gaskins is everything!!!!!! God bless you. You’ve helped me so much with my break up. I’ve found myself and my strength! Thank you!!
I know a lady with five kids this happened to. He left her and went to live with a local lady who had only two kids. Then she figured out he thought the grass was greener on the other side so she decided to drop off all five kids to their house with his new lady in short order and moved away to focus on herself and her appearance and life. Well needless to say the new relationship didn't last very long.
It takes time. She has a lot of history with him. We should be more compassionate. Some individuals are stronger than others. I'm sure next year around this time she will be in a better place.
It hurts, sure. But you can't force people to be with you. If they feel they belong with someone else, pull yourself together and let him/her go. Real love wants to see the person you love with the person they truly want even if its not you. Kids do not guarantee a life partner. A person can stick around until the kids are grown and leave you as soon as they kids are grown. Youre lucky if they leave you when youre young so they don't waste your youth on them.
I did not even listen to all this letter she said several times they not good for each so move on with your life. He has every right to do what he wants with his life.
The lady probably was hidden to him until the right time. She needs to move on she's in her flesh. She is holding on to years not the person he was to her. Once she sit back and observe everything fully she can let the man go peacefully. She herself said it was a year later before the couple met.
Latoya Thornton She misses the person he lead her to believe he was. She doesn’t really miss him. People like this don’t admit fault. You become the terrible person and they come out smelling like a rose . It’s very hurtful, but you know you know the truth. They are going to not be okay just because of the deceitful way the relationship came to be. The current person has no idea what she is in for. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Even a marriage can’t last. People don’t honor loyalty any more. I see people say they should’ve got married.... maybe....maybe not. There’s really no difference these days. Sad but true. Marriage is simply a word . If a person not ready or willing to fix their insides, there’s no way the outside of that person will nourish anything or anybody. As women we want our families but sometimes to stay sane and or healthy we’ve gotta cut off the part that’s rotting away before it consumes us. Peace and Love yall
There are dirty hands on both sides. Never take on the role of wife when that is not what you are. Why would you have 3 children with someone to whom you are not married? He is using God as the reason for his foolish behavior. “God told me...” God never tells anyone to do something contrary to His Word. Do you really want someone that behaves like this? Move on.
@batonbeauty 'duh debill is a lie. NoT "truely" more 'difficult', keep faith in *Christ* *'Chell* had 6 kids 4 baby daddies- before 30yo, New *husband* and she added 2 more. *Jayne* had 3 kids 3 baby daddies, new *husband* and she added 1 more. *Dawna* had 3 kids 1 baby daddy, she and new *husband* added 3 more. They all *learned to close up "shop".* NONE of 'em are "beauty queens"; All of their hubby's in 6 figure industries. Each of them have now been *married* for 12+ years. *God. is. awesome.*
batonbeauty you’re right about that. Very valid point. She’d already left him because he was toxic & they weren’t happy. I think she may be upset due to not letting her know before her kids met the lady & the fact that it’s someone they both mutually knew. However a woman should never ever take a man back who leaves her. Not ever.
I agree that he is using her worse than you. My ex husband and I were together for 16 years with 2 boys. When I confronted him about his 3rd mistress/fiancee one of the first things out of his mouth was that her house and car were paid for. She doesn't know what she's in for. She's wife #3 and he's her problem now.
@Purple Dove most of the guys who say that gold digging stuff don't even have one piece of aluminum to their names! So you know when they holler that stuff it's pure PROJECTION; they are the gold diggers.
. She needs to remember she left him in the first place because she did not like their relationship As soon as she finds a boyfriend she will soon stop thinking about him.
Tracey Boyland agreed ....I think what stings is the other woman got the marriage proposal she has been waiting for...because she wasn’t this upset when he was dating someone when they broke up the first time. We have to take accountability as women for letting men take free rein in our lives. Men can easily walk away and do just what he did.
He’s always looking for “The Next Best Thing” 🤷🏾♀️ Move on and get over it, is all you can do. I’m in Florida, can’t wait to meet my 90 Day husband🤣🤣🤣
This is crazy.. I was in a relationship for 2years and my ex wifed a woman he knew for 2 months.. it crushed me and I still have some resentment towards him. A few months into their marriage they started having problems he came back running. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and took him back only to get pregnant by him. Make I long story short they got a divorce 4 years later we tried to make it work but things are not the same. In a sense he want me to work 10x harder to get a title in his life and I walked away because the effort I put into it he wasn’t doing the same. He admitted that he didn’t realized his worth until he went thru his own bs and he’s changing bc he want to do what’s right by me but now my heart isn’t in it. I forgave him but I love me more so I walked away. Sometimes you have to go thru something in order to learn from it and in this cases we both did. He couldn’t move on from me but I moved on from that relationship.
she sounds extremely bitter (understandably) but forgiveness is what God requires of us. Being mature about the situation (especially spiritually mature) is difficult and i could not even imagine BUT please move on and let the Lord help you heal but you have to submit to the healing process and that begins with forgiveness and being mature as far as it goes with your children in co-parentinfb
It’s really amazing to me both of them have and share the 3 kids yet gets to move on and get married and have value as a husband, but the mother has to stay focused on herself and the kids and in about twelve years she can start to look for and receive love and look for a partner when she’s 42. It’s crazy because this is how it is for single mothers we just have to stay single for years in order to be considered good focused moms. We like being loved and cherished too.
What I can say is she may not see it as that but that may be her blessing to get him out of her life to make room for somebody that's going to truly love her and her children and be a real stand-up guy
Girlfriend needs to love herself enough to let that ninja go. He just not that into her. Children are no reason to stay in a bad relationship. Give yourself a small amount of time to cry and get some of the hurt out and then keep it moving. God could be trying to move this guy out of your life so he can bless you with a better one.
Whew chile Tony called her a slap fool! I fell outta my chair. Let me tell you how I will study no man more than I study my bible. Focus on yourself your healing and thank god this clown is no longer your problem. Pray the lord fills you with the Holy Spirit and the strength to cover your children. Never forget women are the greatest gift to the world.
A happy healthy household sometimes means separating. There are families that co parent. This isn’t about the kids, this is about her not wanting to let go. This woman may be a great stepmother but as long as she’s still holding on to him, she’s going to make the relationship toxic. Don’t stay with someone because of children. Moving on. I don’t believe he’s using her. I’ve seen this happen all the time. Men rarely marry the woman that he’s been with forever 🤷🏽♀️
Tell it! I see a lot of delusional women on here. Lord knows I'm tired of seeing he's a Narcissist...just perhaps he didn't want the babymomma and wasn't in love with her anymore. Just maybe he truly love his wife, she's a better fit for him and he's happy🤷♀️
I agree narcissm is much more than lying or cheating unfortunately. It is about antisocial behaviors deceit and etc. That man doesn’t want to be with this woman anymore and that’s that. I’m sorry. This poor woman doesn’t respect herself like a lot of us and he has moved on.
Sounds like a case of witchcraft;pray against this attack on your "husband"/children's Dad and family. Renounce any and everything that is not of the Lord. Forgive your "husband"/children's Dad and ask the Lord yo heal the both of you and keep a hedge of protection around your children.....Watch the Lord work it out!!!!
"Operate from love"... real substance... my sister i hope you seek God in all of this, although you may have wanted to be with this man, God may be removing him inorder to bring His best for you.. ask God for clarity, guidance, wisdom & strength & dont stop being who you are... God will & is already putting everything in perfect order/perspective for you.. Be golden be blessed in acknowledging this is for your good even if it doesn't seem like it.. trust me God allows certain things that we can nvr truly understand that can break us, BUT when the Potter begins to mold us & put the rite pieces back together again you'll knoe & become so thankful for this situation.. just wait & see😏 keeping you lifted in prayer sis, knoe ALL is very well.. iIts funny our God has so many ways of taking the trash out, especially when weve suffered long enough trying to fix this & that, Oh but the hand of God in deed! .. 😎😙🙏
Tony you are out of 2 percent conscious men. Everybody else are players, that all they learnt and keep doing till their late years. Men like you is uncommon, that is why as women we suffer so much.
God, please grant this woman the SERENITY to accept the things she cannot change, the COURAGE to change the things that she can, and the WISDOM to know the difference.
mareelovely Say it again for the ppl in the back!!
Amen
Amen
Serenity prayer!! Yesss!
Perfect
Been there, done that. The best revenge is to forgive, heal, and become better. I can tell you from personal experience there is nothing more satisfying than seeing your ex and you feel NOTHING when they walk into the room. You can smile, speak, and wish him well. I'm telling you it's possible. The road is tedious I'm not gone lie and some times you will feel you'll never heal but fast, pray, and stay as close to God on a DAILY basis. Read Psalms 37 and truly commit your way to the Lord.
Great advice!
So true, I too have been there and done that! And yes, yes, yes! The best revenge is living well and being blessed!!
ob2be1 so true, I’ve been in that situation too & this too shall pass.
Thanks 😊
It's not hard. Just never give him any real feelings in the first place. Save your feelings and emotions for God and your children.
FIRST OF ALL.....SHE TOOK HIM "BACK" AFTER "HE LEFT HER" FOR "ANOTHER WOMAN"?? THAT WAS HER "FIRST MISTAKE"!😳
💯💯💯💯
NEVER do this! Grant the person forgiveness, and move on with your life. Men don’t respect women who take them back, even if they WANT to.
NO second chance...He’s lucky he got one.
Yep!!
Childdd did he say he left her for the “coworker.” He moved in with the coworker playing house, and when that didn’t work out he had the nerve to get upset that she was playing around with another guy. I understand, that she forgave him since they were so young, but when he tried to make her out to be the bad person because she tried to move on too that was RED FLAG all day. Sorry this happened to you lady, but he will never honor you the way you feel you should be honored.
She is the problem not him she need to move on and keep praying over her kids life. He basically said he don’t won’t her and he is getting married she needs to heal and move on and process the change💯Women you know always have the eye for your man watch the cut throat women in your circles and surrounds💯👁
My husband and I met at the end of February 05 and we married at the beginning of May 05 and I'm so grateful to announce that we have been together now for 14 years!!!
That’s a blessing I’m so happy for you!
Love at first sight for you both? Some “whirlwinds” are the real thing indeed.
I’m sure you two meeting was a clean meeting and you both took time to heal from previous situations. That sort of thing can happen but it’s rare. Those that hop around and do dirt will get dirt.
Happy for you!
Wow but weren't you scared thinking this was too fast? Honestly I tend to feel like that when a man approaches me talking about marriage.
Lord, I am trusting You for a quick and wonderful marital settlement.
Some men don't ever figure themselves out no matter how old they get!!!!💯
Exactly
AMEN
If they don’t have Jesus
so true i know even men in their early 60s being immature and playing games
MY HUSBAND
STOP allowing men to just run a muck in your life ladies!! 3 babies and no committment, engagement or marriage!! This sounds like it was 15 years of going with the flow!! STOP thinking because you are friends with his family; that it means something! IT DOESN'T!!
We have to set boundaries and stand by them no matter what. When you stay and tolerate BS you end up with BS. You should be thrilled that joker is gone and that he is someone else's problem.
Put that behind on child support ASAP!!
Hallelujah 🙌 He wasted her youth and she is now upset about him doing in 3 months for another woman what he wouldn't do for her in 15 YEARS!!! Time is too precious to be wasted.
@@Ms_T_Perfectly_Imperfect it sure is!! Women have to stop allowing men to string them along!!
THANK YOU!!!!!!! Although I hate that she went through this shenanigans with this dude, but she ALLOWED this to happen because she settled. He was NOT loyal to her by ANY means, just because someone pops out kids for you doesn't mean nothing... Thankfully she is still young (29) isn't old by any means. She needs to get herself together, level up, and be prepared for the HUSBAND God has in store for her.
@@justanotherabc8888 Yess!! Level up and move on! He has shown her who he is!!
@@SunShyne-of3xj Amen indeed. He's BEEN shown her who he is, she gotta be the one to step out on faith now.
*All these soul ties and bad spirits!!HEAL, FORGIVE & LET GO!*
Facts! This is why we’re not supposed to have sex before marriage. We spiritually connect with people we have no business being with.
If he was a real man he would have married her. Laid with her all those years and had 3 babies and married someone else. What a loser! Yes soul ties are real.
Lady Empress that’s it right there!! Life is too short! God should be #1
Lady Empress Amen!
Yes she needs to ask God to break the soul ties.
This happened with me. My husband knew I was the one for him after three weeks. He courted me hard and asked me to marry him after three months. Now it’s 13 years later with three kids. We’re still happy.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the FIRST time !! Girl move on. The red flags were there but she chose to ignore them.
She is trauma bonded to the narcissist you have to be mentally strong to move on she needs counseling!
He's someone else's problem now. Learn your lesson and move on.
Listening to this makes me appreciate my singleness. I'm happy, healthy, in love with myself, & free from any drama! Thank you Lord! Hallelujah Jesus! Amen. Get the knowledge ladies & love yourSELF! 💕🌼
Cher H say it again 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@ashleygoodrich3294 💯💕
Amennnn 🙌🙌🙏
@@woodlineariste8563 💯❤
BOOM!!
Wow this is Soooo familiar... Baby girl speaking from experience... He has DID YOU A FAVOR.. TRUST GOD FOR WHAT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.. BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY GOD IS READY TO BLESS YOU
AMEN
Amen
That's what I was thinking I as some time goes by she'll be glad he left
Amen ❤️
Yes ❤️
God has someone better for her. The fact that she already has 3 kids is irrelevant. Her being a single mom with children will not be a deterrent to God bringing someone new into her life. Period🌟
Joy H. THAT!!🙌🏽
Only if she changes. She is still desperate for a man
I agree Joy.
Joy H. - She’s not a Single Mom. There is no such thing! She’s an SINGLE WOMAN with children.
@@thatbemefool I like that... I struggle with the label "single mom", but "single women with children", is so much easier to process and removes the sting for some reason. Thank you for the much needed clarification.
A man will always date someone for years and meet another woman and marry her right away. She need to let go and move forward 🤷🏽♀️
T Damn 3 times! maybe something is wrong with you then lol
That's how it goes they were so young
Yes they will,my sister dated a man for 15 years with three kids together...he married the NEXT woman within the years ....but now he wish he would have married my sister..
Cheryl Baylee true! So many women give away too much too soon trying to keep a man who won’t marry her because he got everything from her too fast 💨
Rule of thumb... A man will marry you because you didn’t give up everything. When a man chooses a wife he looks at that no matter how much fornicating he himself did in his past.
He’s marrying her after 3 months because he was dating her at the same time as you
I think you solve the mystery
That means He finally found someone more foolish than her .
Some people get married after only knowing each other for 3-6 months
Come on with it broke up with my ex after being with him 5 years 2 months later a new females months later they had a child he was already dealing with her now this was 2016 here it is 2020 he ask for sex sometimes no who I'm deal with etc but still with the girl smh soul ties we have a child together he treat me like shit smh
🤣🤣🤣😂
Hes right. I been was in a similar situation. Been w a man 5 yrs, we broke up& 2weeks later he announced getting married to another woman. I wanted to die. I took 7 years to heal. Long story short, 3 years later his wife remarried another man. He tried coming to me, I was so heal & free from him. I laugh & told him have a bless life lol
Tt jax ....excellent testimony
The best revenge 💪😂👏👏
That's gold
God did that for a reason. He has someone better for her,God had to remove him some kind of way so her husband can come in.
Exactly. She needs to be praying for her God ordained spouse.
Yasssss!!! 🤗
I felt this
How consoling. She was a fool and you know it. Three babies with a man who ain't married to her...pulizzz
@@ThestorytellerofKatunga so you never made any mistakes??? We all did something foolish b4
He's going to eventually treat the wife bad also. He sounds very narcissistic to me. The writer should be happy he's gone, set some strict boundaries and move on with her life. None of what he has done is from God!
HeirtotheKing yup.. Bc he is who he is.. That women gonna play him out..
YASSSSS First thing I heard in her explanation of him. PURE NARCISSISM. No more to say but .. #trackshoes
He may or may not but regardless she giving too much energy to that situation she expects so much from other people and she doesn’t realize it
Not really. You should have woken up long ago
Yes once he completely levels up as a man he'll leave his wife for a younger version.
Jesus is not sleeping, let him deal with him.
Much love sister, i know your pain. Let Jesus loves you.
I know she is hurt and understandably so. However count your blessings he is not worth your time. This man is a NARCISSIST. There are several red flags and indicators that point to this. He is using this woman to triangulate/hurt you. He is projecting his negative feelings of self on to her. I would suggest that you seek therapy with someone who specializes in recovery from narcissistic relationships
Thank you I was wondering who knew exactly what this woman is going through. Yes, she is accountable for allowing him to treat her like that but that blind siding people, projecting, triangulation...all classic narcissism.
She was 15 when they got together and was clearly under emotional manipulation for 15 years. As a result her self esteem is destroyed and likely does not know how to move on as this male is still in her head. Doesn’t sound like she had a mother or auntie or girlfriends available to help guide her. She needs professional help and after the thot he’s getting married to is in church I would not blame her for not wanting to go to any church for guidance.
Thats why we have to stop playing wife to these men. She is not this mans wife. And that is going to take some time to heal.
Yes thats true
Exactly!!! That’s what happens when you play house having kids with a man you’re not married to. They are NOT married, and she’s acting like she’s separated from a husband. Men will only do what you allow. That lady has no allegiance to her, they were just at the same church. She does need to heal and move on.
This is why my daddy wouldn't let us have boyfriends when we were teenagers. My daddy taught us and was very involved in our lives as young girls. He knew we weren't mature enough to date. My first friend wasn't until I was almost 20.
Unfortunately you're probably in a minority of black girls who grew up with real fathers.
I was 20 years old when I had my first date
Shawn Reed I hope these fathers and mothers are teaching their teenagers how to date and how to value themselves. If not, waiting till you’re out of your teens to date is a mistake to me.
@@faa1412 Very true. I was raised in a two parent home. I can recall, most of the young girls around me didn't have much of a relationship with their fathers.
Not necessarily, the woman did not have to have known who you were to him, for that matter , know you period. Just, because she stood with the pastor, to pray for you. I'm sure, she have stood in back of lots of people, getting prayer without knowing them. In some Churches, they don't date, a man may approach, a woman and say that God said she is his wife, she then seeks the Lord and confirm, what he saying is true, if so, they get married. The woman's not desperate, she just trying to please God. Now the woman with the babies has no claim on him, except child support. If you find a man and begin to act like you are his wife and have 3 children, by him, without marriage. That man is still free to marry, someone else. You are free to marry also. I would not say this was the idea way he should have done you, but it is what you allowed. Needless to say, y'all arrangement wasn't base on the idea situation in the 1st place. Now if this man decides to let that old life go, and take on a whole new life that does not involve sin, you go too. He was fornicating with you. There is a possibility, that, he could not get that from the lady, unless he married her. There are consequences to our action. He owe you, child support and Repentants. However, he is free to move on. It hurt, but you need to be told the truth, so you can face reality. He has, in a way, givien you a glimse of what you should do, whether or not he is sincere with the woman or not. Move on, get your life together, find you some one that is of equally york, or better yet let him find you. Keep your standards up when he get there. I know lots of woman that get nice step dad's who love them, that has 3 or more kids. keep your head up! This is hypothetical, if indeed this is the type of Church they attend and your story occurred, like this. They could be all kinds of reason a person, do what they do. But the base of people action is usually based on the facts.
Don't start dating as a teenager wow, something to think about
Brother Tony, keep preaching!
Ikr..15 years and shes 29..Dangfff
Bwoiiii the friends of mine who left dating late are usually the most naive and end up in the most nonsense when it comes to relationships and men because they lack experience. Get manipulated and screwed over the most. But to each their own I guess. Just cause you date doesn't mean you have to involve sex.
She needs to move on. He doesn’t want her and she needs to let go.
“God told me she’s the one.” Child please. God told you or satan?
Brianna C satan
Satan has found his match. I wish him the best.
Lawd not satan 😂🤣😂
Lol @ Brianna c.. omg girl you said my thoughts exactly .
Lol
He's marrying her because she required it. She didn't put up with the crap you did, and he admired her for that.
Facts
I required marriage with my boyfriend too but he thinks I'm pressuring him. We've been together almost 3 years!
Thank you. I wondered if I was alone on that
What do you mean she didnt put up witb the crap the wife did? Hes cheating on the wife not her of course she dont gotta deal with nothing.
@@asill.6668 then leave . Don't waste anymore time.
He's not on child support? That's unacceptable.
She gave her WHOLE YOUTH to a man who didn’t want her... I feel so bad for this woman !
She gave her youth to a man that wasn't worth her.
It was her choice.
Let go, let God. 🙏🥺🤪. Been there, done that! Loved a man for 5 years, i broke up with him, we both cried but I believed that if he didn't marry me after 5 yrs Maybe I am Not the one for him. GUESS WHAT! BY THE NEXT YEAR HE WAS MARRYING SOMEONE ELSE. True! Yes, me and my new fiance went to the wedding, yes she was walking down the aisle in white and Pregnant. They are still married, I married had Daughter and divorced. Just sayin. I'm now dating and 66🤗
She's going to be ok, have Faith and go forward 🙏💓🌹
29 is still young so she got lucky
If what she describes in her email is even half of what the truth is, then this man is certainly no prize to anyone. Woe to the new woman in his life. Discernment is key!
If you want marriage, you have to operate as you do. No giving husband privileges without commitment. Date with a purpose, fill your life with building you.
Also, I believe that people know what place they want or see you in their lives, this is for any relationship romantic or not. It does not take 10 years for him to figure this out. For example. That man will express is interest, love and what he wants.
Girl, please move on, he's a narcissist. He will come to you once his marriage goes array. Do not take him back, it's very painful I know from experience. Please heal yourself. Let him see y'all kids, put him on child support and get out and view the world when he has the kids. Maybe you'll find your Boaz one day.
He will come back like a boomerang. She'd be a fool if she entertains this.
@Christina A The Lord revealed to me that, the tears I cry now. Would have been multiplied, had I married my ex. Now you think, if he had married you and gave you two kids. He would be stepping out on you, like he's currently doing to his wife. Facts!
@Christina A I concur, I am sorry you had to endure that. You're better off without him. This has only made you stronger and a better mother.
Aww I want Boaz
@@tawanaluster8050 I'm in that number. Just be patient. He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing.☺
That was a LONG letter! Lol. She has to simply let go and move on. She can't control what that guy does. Sis, just go through the healing process and become whole again
A man will be change for who he wants to be with
My mom came to the U.S. with her 3 kids. My mom worked at a hotel. Cleaned the room for this tall white man with blue eyes (my Dad). My Dad did everything for my Mom & my 3 older sister's & brother. My Dad loved her and all of us the same.
-
Love will come to this girl, she's only 29 years old. She young, most probably beautiful, and there are plenty of good men out there. Not all men are loser's.
The sad part in this situation is with 3 kids her dating options are SEVERELY limited even with great looks. Men wasting women’s youth and womb is such a crime imo but you have to know if he’s not wifing you in the first year or so, leave him alone and keep it moving. He’ll marry the next in 2 months after wasting 2 many years of your life ❤️🙅🏽♀️
I wish I had known this!!
So true
Meee
That isn't true with the children comment because I know plenty of women that have 3 kids or more and are being proposed to, married etc. I am 38, no kids and I am still single so the kids thing isn't a deal breaker....
@@miaporche2256 yes but your friends arent the majority. Its an epidemic. Ppl losing jobs. No men aint trying to add extra on their plate. Alot of men now are wanting to build their own legacy from scratch if you have been watching.
I have been there. God has moved him out of the way for a better man. I tried to hold on to my ex and in the end, he married another woman only to be divorced wi5hin about a year or so. One of his ex-wife's elderly relatives stopped me one day and whispered to me that I should be glad I didn't marry him and that was all she said. then I started seeing things that made me praise God for moving him out the way🏃. Now I pity him. What goes around comes back around
I pray that that my current situation ends like this too.
@@Cutegirl8614 it can. It may hurt for a while but u have to choose you. There may be a blessing just waiting on u but you have to do first thing a first. Turn the situation a loose and watch better come to u and it may be when you least expect it.😊
💯👏💯👏💯karma!!!!
@@Cutegirl8614 praying for you Travis Fenrick
Travia not Travis Sorry
This is awful. I don't know this woman, and I am angry for her. Her EX is as classic as a Narcissist! That's what some young toxic men do their looking for help. It don't matter...that marriage won't be blessed no matter who he thought he heard.
"He needs to be slapped with no baby powder ,he needs to be slapped front hand n back hand" 😂😂
Bie M she needs to be slapped. She had all the signs.
I’m hollering! 😳😭🤔🤭
Bie M 😂😂😂😂
I hollered when he said that 😆
@@traditionallyuniquedesigns6531 #HolleringOverHere!!!
Women like the one he is about to marry only listens to one side-the man's side and I guarantee his story sounds a whole lot different than the ex-wife. But give it a couple of months and the new wife will start to see the real him and it won't be glittering like he made it seem. Fast forward 2 yrs or less and they too will be divorced and he'll be trying to get back. At which point the ex should be telling him to kick rocks with no shoes on. He seems to be one of those men who can't lead so he will always be looking for a woman whose strength is greater than his and who is willing to take on the leadership role in the home while he sit back and play the woman role in the relationship. To the wife - this is actually a blessing. You just can't see it now because of the pain. After you heal you'll ask yourself what was I thinking!!!
They were never married. And while the man sounds like a jerk the woman has to take some responsibility. No man can play you unless you allow yourself to be played. Not once in the letter did she take any responsibility for being in that situation. You can make a man love you or stay with you or marry you. Move on just like he moved on.
Who hurt you! You have to be a miserable ass bitch to speak a whole scenario of demise upon their marriage smh she could be the woman that enlightens him. Y’all need to get a life seriously instead of spectating all the time
Wait till she puts child support on him lol. 3 kids under 18...omgoodness.
@@larkford4460 @ I agree with you to a degree. However, at the same time, the truth is, any marriage or relationship that is based on lies, deceit and a weak foundation and most importantly without God doesn't have much of a survival rate. If he is the man as described in the letter, no woman can "enlighten him", he would need to let GOD do that type of work in his life. If he submits himself to the power of God, than yes, his marriage to the new woman will have a chance to work out great.
He will be back make sure you level up and don’t get upset
Pretty Natural Yeap, they always come back....
Hes not coming back. You all need to stop lying and speak what you know. This woman is broken searching for any offense fueled with a drive to catch because its the only thing that keeps her connected. Hes moving on with a mindset to evolve. Nobody wants a contentious fault finding woman
@@iamwill2283 you're right and wrong lol sometimes when they "come back" to check your pulse lol if the woman becomes a phenoix she will burn him with her light... If not... The cycle may start again ...or go nowhere
@@iamwill2283 maybe be will, maybe not either way she doesn't need him. He sounds like a problem. A confused mess. Listen to all his poor selfish decisions. Hopefully she won't allow him to come back.
Value yourself, get child support MOVE ON!!
Meet her?! She need to say hello and that’s it!! Move on and “level up!”
Sounds like a narcissist.
Anisa11987 💥 you called it for what it is!
He is a narcisist. She needs to move on and find a man who treats her better.
Just because you have children with someone doesn’t mean you’re right for each other! And if he was single why would the other lady not date him-just because she hugged her and sat behind her at prayer? She didn’t have a relationship with her. She owes her NOTHING!!!
Because all he did, to have children with a woman without really loving her, shows his character and lack of faith! As Tony Gaskins said, how are her character and faith then if can stay with such man..maybe is fault of both of them, she also should not stay with him if he didn't felt to marry her. I don't judge, we have to see their actions to provr the love what they pretend, not believe the words. i had my part of stupidity to stay with a grown boy who was telling that he loves me infinitely, but when i got sick, he ran away, washed his hands, shaked his shoulders, from any responssibility, didn't had emotional support from him, he pretended to have faith in God, but God showed me truth, this behaviour is against conscience, against faith.
Right
This is why I FIRMLY feel that in MOST cases, I do not suggest young ppl staying together from teen years into adulthood. It’s ALL you know, you’re usually wide eyed and nose open. I think men and women need experiences, good times, get your heart broken and then you grow to learn yourself more, love yourself more and can then appreciate a person who comes into your life and brings the things you deserve and desire. He’s a immature young man who will reap what’s he’s sewn. The lady needs to heal, learn from this and grow from this. Love yourself inside and out to move forward.
I absolutely agree!
Kimberly Scott agree!! 👏🏽👏🏽
Yes I know a woman who just turned 40 and knew her hubby when she was 18 . I heard her say one day that she misses being single lol . She said she really didn’t live life how she should have
I don’t think you gotta get yo hard broken but yes to err thang
Juschelle williams I only think you do because if it don't happen when you're younger, by the time you're 40 you'll be somewhere standing over a bridge or standing in the mirror with a bottle of pills in your hands. I think it teaches you to be stronger and not to think that everything is promised. That's just been my experience personally and indirectly through a few friends.
Whew the quotes he dropped 😯 “she’s desperate, dumb, and naive” he said that lady is a rebound and he’s using her. This is crazy I hope the bm gets far far away and full custody of her kids this man wasn’t raised right, his family is toxic clearly and that’s where he’s even coming up with that terminology. Be blessed he didn’t lock you into being forcefully dragged for life by being married to him, count that blessing twice!
“This man ain’t worth the lint in his pocket.” 🤣 I’m using this!
A minute in, it's a trap! Stop having kids before marriage. I mean damn
When you find real love the pain goes away instantly. She needs to date and loves herself first. Do yoga and find yourself. Get hobbies
Tony I pray that God continues to give you the patience to deal with situations that are obvious to you but not to others and the wisdom to advise these people. In Jesus name Amen. Fr fr!!
Say that Tony: Familiarity BREEDS Contempt! I know it hurts sister, but FORWARD MARCH from Mr Dirty "D"!
I don't think a lot men figure it out until almost 40
Heather Jones yes when they don’t have as many options and want someone to take care of them!
@@perfectlyyoubeauty yes i agree even way after 40 they trying to figure it out..
l'm in my 50s a lot of men are still trying to hold on their youth, so most don't stop playing till way pass 40s or 50s believe me.
He didn't want them to meet because he didn't want his children's mother to tell her side of the story before the wedding.
Heather Jones
Or older I am 42 and I still see them, they don’t realize a diamond til it’s gone.
What is the dilemma? Why was she concerned with him being in a relationship, if they are no longer together? I understand wanting to know who was around your kids. But she sounds like she is extremely hurt that he is getting married. Surely she has seen this before, it happens all the time. The man will string you along for 10,000 years knowing he does not want to marry you. Then he will meet someone new and marry her in a short time. Let it go.
I’m so glad you said this. This is nothing new. She needs to find herself.
Thank you. You have insight girl. They weren't even together so I don't understand most of the comments coming from these women!
My ex and I split up 3 mo after him and I had a baby together. We were together for 10 yrs. Now he is with a women who is a Christian and they both are in church now. I am glad of this because he is still apart of our baby's life ( she is 3 now) and I don't have to worry about what kind of women would be around her .Also I believe this women will help keep him grounded.
Maturity at it's finest. 💜✨
Some relationships are simply not meant to be. Period.
She has to continue to love herself and take care of her children. Go through the pain, then get past it. Live your best life. Meet the woman, stay strong then move on.
WE ALL HAVE TO DO IT
Hello Tony. Please let this lady KNOW that there is nothing new under the sun and she is NOT ALONE with this situation. I am 49 and endured the EXACT SITUATION with my ex husband whom I married twice. He is my First and 2nd husband I am his 1 & 3rd wife he is on wife #4 which is mirroring her situation. You gave excellent advice and I will say to her to honor the part of him that cared for her enough to at least tell her. I had 28 yrs and three children with my ex husband and he didn’t tell me ANYTHING and hasn’t spoken to me in 2 years. Let her know to place it on the alter AND FORGIVE HIM. She does not have to support his decision.. he is entitled to have a life outside of theirs... now he is only required to be an accountable Father. I know that it’s hard to swallow but tell her to use this lesson from God to heal to wholeness within herself. Be an example to her children in her testimony of agape love. Scars will heal if she lets GOD DO THE WORK. Let her know she has a circle ⭕️ of love in prayer for her during this storm.. but this to shall pass. Thank you 🙏.
I had the same story but thank God there were no kids involved. I realised I really had nothing to lose so I left him for good.
Even though the writer said she left him, i think she wanted to secretly get back with the dirtbag. Sometimes women leave a dude secretly hoping that by leaving he'll miss the woman so much that he'll change. That's why she was devastated when she found out about the other woman. If she truly had moved on, she'd chill. I agree Tony, she needs to move on and really heal. She needs to be real real honest with herself.
This is true...
They change, as Tony said, if they believe that woman is the One, if is true love, don't risk to lose her and when they have faith in God!
He just dont want you anymore sweetheart. Pray and move on. Let him be and allow him to be with whomever he wants. Pray, pray, pray, pray.
God is not gonna tell a man to divorce your wife. This guy sounds like a textbook narcissist. He found new supply and discarded you in the most painful way. God bless this woman and strengthen her.
She wasn't the wife though...
@@justanotherabc8888 for those that dont know the story. She was more his wife then anything else.
@@anthonybarnes9662 Who was more his wife, the actual soon to be wife, or the kids mother whose time he wasted?
I have been discarded too so I really understand what she is going through.
@@justanotherabc8888 The one who had his children. This I know because it's my sister!
HE IS A NARCISSIST!!!!
U ARE not alone!! Check many many others stories on you tube that might also really help you heal & understand what's going on!!
Yes,I dated one for 11 years we been broken up about 3 years now.he told me he was going to marry this other WOMEN after dating 2 when she leave her man ĻÔĻ
I pray this woman gets with a good therapist. She will have to do a lot of emotional work to heal this but I am living proof it’s possible.
Can completely relate to this story. I made the mistake of having a child with a man who found it easy to run away from the relationship and marry someone else within 3 months after our final intent of trying to make it workout. And yes, this video is on spot. The best thing to do is move on. This means forgiving him for the pain and allowing God to take control of your life and maneuver you thru the healing process. It is a rough ride. However, you will reach that point of inner peace and true happiness which, is important in raising a child or children on your own. Happy mama equals happy child/children. This period will also teach you how to value yourself and find that person who will see and cherish that value in you. Stay away from men because you do not want to continue finding the same type of men that put you in this situation. Heal and God will put the right man at your side.
Sounds like he was never in love with her. Just there cuz she had his kids. This is the usual situation but why women keep trapping themselves with kids tryin to trap a man behooves me
FLgirlinTX I agree but let’s be honest. Many black Women become desperate because of the lack of quality available men. I wouldn’t beat up on the woman marrying him so much. You want children before it’s too late and you’re tired of being alone so many women settle otherwise they think they won’t ever get married. The main lesson here is do not keep having kids with a man you’re not married to. Kids don’t keep a man.
I agree.
Yup birth control and family planning are essential for black women to have peacefully healthy lives.
@@lcjones4682 I hear you totally
brooklynforever1990 and that is the key!!!!!
I have never heard you before but your straight forward truth had me😂😂😂👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
Why is she so focused and bothered? Their relationship is over! Did she think they were supposed to get back together?She left him for a good reason, and expected him NOT to move on. I don't believe that you have to always make it work, it depends on the circumstance. Sometimes God may even have someone better for you and your children if the relationship is toxic. So this mess is so petty to me, the devil is distracting her, she need to move on with her life. Be happy for him and find herself a worthy man.
It's probably also because she had 3 kids by him (a dumb ass move in my opinion).
@@faa1412 I agree, after baby number one I would have learned my lesson
Okay I get it BUT move on, find yourself in Christ first and rebuild your life.
@@tiffanimoore4693 exactly!
@@tiffanimoore4693 she need to focus on God and redeem herself
Stop having babies with your boyfriend.
Ummm I agree with Tony on a lot of things but it's 2019 these men ain't thinking about them kids...I would be amazed to find a man that says he gone stay and work it out for the kids..they are Rare!!
MISS LADY exactly when the relationship him the dad breaks up with the kids to happen to me
Black men don’t stay and try to work it out for kids.
They use the children to try and work it out with white women, when we aren't even supposed to be mixing with the other nations, according to the Word
Y'all act like women stay together for the children. 80% of divorces and breakups are initiated by the woman.
@@nodayzoff901...because who wants to get beat up all for nothing, while risking aids from a cheating partner? The child needs at least one of us to be healthy so... a Godless man will make u their victim forever if u let him.. live off of u, the works
He was mature enough to have kids, shack up, but not mature enough to get married??
Sis, LET THAT GO!! He showed u who he is in the way he went about this new relationship, and the relationship with that co-worker prior to this. Since u so close to his family use that to your advantage. The kids are old enough, let his family be the middle person for the kids until your heart heals. God got someone better for u. He's right, he is toxic for u. Cry your tears and LET THAT GO!
To the lady of this story, my story is similar to yours. Abuse and betrayal is a heartache. Like you, I kept waiting, hoping to keep my family together. Here is the first thing I did - I file for child support! Secondly, i started focusing on ME and my KIDS. The Almighty heard my prayers, and I got a new job, threw all his stuff I still had, in the garbage. I can't speak to him, and don't see him. I refuse to let my ex husband think that what he did to me was ok. My kids talk to him on the phone( we live in the same city). I started online classes and exercises at home. One day your children's father will regret what he did to you. Please pray for strength every day. Tell yourself each day that the Lord has something better and more joyful plan for you. 🌺
This man is broken. And using the other woman to suppress what is hidden. When he wakes up all hell is going to break loose. 1st wife pray for your husband children pray for your father. He will be coming back.
When you don’t value yourself, no man will do it for you.
Omg the donkey he rode on 😆😆😆😆😆 Tony Gaskins is everything!!!!!! God bless you. You’ve helped me so much with my break up. I’ve found myself and my strength! Thank you!!
He is NOT a new man. He s just acting
I know a lady with five kids this happened to. He left her and went to live with a local lady who had only two kids. Then she figured out he thought the grass was greener on the other side so she decided to drop off all five kids to their house with his new lady in short order and moved away to focus on herself and her appearance and life. Well needless to say the new relationship didn't last very long.
My God, why is still holding on to this man? It's all about co-parenting now.
It takes time. She has a lot of history with him. We should be more compassionate. Some individuals are stronger than others. I'm sure next year around this time she will be in a better place.
It hurts, sure. But you can't force people to be with you. If they feel they belong with someone else, pull yourself together and let him/her go. Real love wants to see the person you love with the person they truly want even if its not you. Kids do not guarantee a life partner. A person can stick around until the kids are grown and leave you as soon as they kids are grown. Youre lucky if they leave you when youre young so they don't waste your youth on them.
I did not even listen to all this letter she said several times they not good for each so move on with your life. He has every right to do what he wants with his life.
Need to get counseling, you can’t control his actions.
The lady probably was hidden to him until the right time. She needs to move on she's in her flesh. She is holding on to years not the person he was to her. Once she sit back and observe everything fully she can let the man go peacefully. She herself said it was a year later before the couple met.
Latoya Thornton She misses the person he lead her to believe he was. She doesn’t really miss him. People like this don’t admit fault. You become the terrible person and they come out smelling like a rose . It’s very hurtful, but you know you know the truth. They are going to not be okay just because of the deceitful way the relationship came to be. The current person has no idea what she is in for. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Even a marriage can’t last. People don’t honor loyalty any more. I see people say they should’ve got married.... maybe....maybe not. There’s really no difference these days. Sad but true. Marriage is simply a word . If a person not ready or willing to fix their insides, there’s no way the outside of that person will nourish anything or anybody.
As women we want our families but sometimes to stay sane and or healthy we’ve gotta cut off the part that’s rotting away before it consumes us.
Peace and Love yall
There are dirty hands on both sides. Never take on the role of wife when that is not what you are. Why would you have 3 children with someone to whom you are not married?
He is using God as the reason for his foolish behavior. “God told me...” God never tells anyone to do something contrary to His Word.
Do you really want someone that behaves like this? Move on.
So true
batonbeauty Yes the man will think twice with three kids as opposed to one kid
hope_revjfg Smith yesss
@batonbeauty 'duh debill is a lie. NoT "truely" more 'difficult', keep faith in *Christ*
*'Chell* had 6 kids 4 baby daddies- before 30yo, New *husband* and she added 2 more.
*Jayne* had 3 kids 3 baby daddies, new *husband* and she added 1 more.
*Dawna* had 3 kids 1 baby daddy, she and new *husband* added 3 more.
They all *learned to close up "shop".*
NONE of 'em are "beauty queens"; All of their hubby's in 6 figure industries. Each of them have now been *married* for 12+ years.
*God. is. awesome.*
batonbeauty you’re right about that. Very valid point. She’d already left him because he was toxic & they weren’t happy. I think she may be upset due to not letting her know before her kids met the lady & the fact that it’s someone they both mutually knew. However a woman should never ever take a man back who leaves her. Not ever.
I agree that he is using her worse than you. My ex husband and I were together for 16 years with 2 boys. When I confronted him about his 3rd mistress/fiancee one of the first things out of his mouth was that her house and car were paid for. She doesn't know what she's in for. She's wife #3 and he's her problem now.
Neicy Gray bless you and enjoy your freedom Sis.
@@tammilynne thank you & prayers with you as well 💖
@Purple Dove most of the guys who say that gold digging stuff don't even have one piece of aluminum to their names! So you know when they holler that stuff it's pure PROJECTION; they are the gold diggers.
I wish I had an update on this story. This woman’s story mirrors mine so much. So sad. I would love to know how things have turned out 2 years later
. She needs to remember she left him in the first place because she did not like their relationship
As soon as she finds a boyfriend she will soon stop thinking about him.
Tracey Boyland agreed ....I think what stings is the other woman got the marriage proposal she has been waiting for...because she wasn’t this upset when he was dating someone when they broke up the first time. We have to take accountability as women for letting men take free rein in our lives. Men can easily walk away and do just what he did.
Exactly. Not everything is surrounded around a man being narcissistic. Sometimes life just throws you a bad hand.
He’s always looking for “The Next Best Thing” 🤷🏾♀️ Move on and get over it, is all you can do. I’m in Florida, can’t wait to meet my 90 Day husband🤣🤣🤣
This is crazy.. I was in a relationship for 2years and my ex wifed a woman he knew for 2 months.. it crushed me and I still have some resentment towards him. A few months into their marriage they started having problems he came back running. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and took him back only to get pregnant by him. Make I long story short they got a divorce 4 years later we tried to make it work but things are not the same. In a sense he want me to work 10x harder to get a title in his life and I walked away because the effort I put into it he wasn’t doing the same. He admitted that he didn’t realized his worth until he went thru his own bs and he’s changing bc he want to do what’s right by me but now my heart isn’t in it. I forgave him but I love me more so I walked away. Sometimes you have to go thru something in order to learn from it and in this cases we both did. He couldn’t move on from me but I moved on from that relationship.
she sounds extremely bitter (understandably) but forgiveness is what God requires of us. Being mature about the situation (especially spiritually mature) is difficult and i could not even imagine BUT please move on and let the Lord help you heal but you have to submit to the healing process and that begins with forgiveness and being mature as far as it goes with your children in co-parentinfb
Narcissist..gurl get yourself educated about them and you will need alot of strength dealing with this but you can make it!
He wasn't with her! She just needs to get a grip. Narcissism is the least here. He just moved on to someone else!
It’s really amazing to me both of them have and share the 3 kids yet gets to move on and get married and have value as a husband, but the mother has to stay focused on herself and the kids and in about twelve years she can start to look for and receive love and look for a partner when she’s 42. It’s crazy because this is how it is for single mothers we just have to stay single for years in order to be considered good focused moms. We like being loved and cherished too.
What I can say is she may not see it as that but that may be her blessing to get him out of her life to make room for somebody that's going to truly love her and her children and be a real stand-up guy
Girlfriend needs to love herself enough to let that ninja go. He just not that into her. Children are no reason to stay in a bad relationship. Give yourself a small amount of time to cry and get some of the hurt out and then keep it moving. God could be trying to move this guy out of your life so he can bless you with a better one.
Basically she thinks that her whole world has come to an end, because he is all she has ever known.
Me and my husband married after about 6 months of meeting... we're now together for 12 yrs now...
Girl, more on he don’t want you. Did you read your email?? Pray that your soul will be freed from him.
She really did write a dissertation🤦🏾♀️📝
She is soul tied/trauma bonded to a narcissist...
😂😂😩 I swear
Whew chile Tony called her a slap fool! I fell outta my chair. Let me tell you how I will study no man more than I study my bible. Focus on yourself your healing and thank god this clown is no longer your problem. Pray the lord fills you with the Holy Spirit and the strength to cover your children. Never forget women are the greatest gift to the world.
This man is Narcissistic! This women need to move on and be healed.
A happy healthy household sometimes means separating. There are families that co parent. This isn’t about the kids, this is about her not wanting to let go. This woman may be a great stepmother but as long as she’s still holding on to him, she’s going to make the relationship toxic. Don’t stay with someone because of children. Moving on. I don’t believe he’s using her. I’ve seen this happen all the time. Men rarely marry the woman that he’s been with forever 🤷🏽♀️
Tell it! I see a lot of delusional women on here. Lord knows I'm tired of seeing he's a Narcissist...just perhaps he didn't want the babymomma and wasn't in love with her anymore. Just maybe he truly love his wife, she's a better fit for him and he's happy🤷♀️
I agree narcissm is much more than lying or cheating unfortunately. It is about antisocial behaviors deceit and etc. That man doesn’t want to be with this woman anymore and that’s that. I’m sorry. This poor woman doesn’t respect herself like a lot of us and he has moved on.
Q
Sounds like a case of witchcraft;pray against this attack on your "husband"/children's Dad and family. Renounce any and everything that is not of the Lord. Forgive your "husband"/children's Dad and ask the Lord yo heal the both of you and keep a hedge of protection around your children.....Watch the Lord work it out!!!!
"Operate from love"... real substance... my sister i hope you seek God in all of this, although you may have wanted to be with this man, God may be removing him inorder to bring His best for you.. ask God for clarity, guidance, wisdom & strength & dont stop being who you are... God will & is already putting everything in perfect order/perspective for you.. Be golden be blessed in acknowledging this is for your good even if it doesn't seem like it.. trust me God allows certain things that we can nvr truly understand that can break us, BUT when the Potter begins to mold us & put the rite pieces back together again you'll knoe & become so thankful for this situation.. just wait & see😏 keeping you lifted in prayer sis, knoe ALL is very well.. iIts funny our God has so many ways of taking the trash out, especially when weve suffered long enough trying to fix this & that, Oh but the hand of God in deed! .. 😎😙🙏
YES!
Tony you are out of 2 percent conscious men. Everybody else are players, that all they learnt and keep doing till their late years. Men like you is uncommon, that is why as women we suffer so much.
The difference between Tony and all those other grown boys is he fears God which is the beginning of all wisdom.
@@BevBelove agree
@@Godislove818 I agree with ur agreement
We don't know Tony outside social media. His message makes sense but...I dont see his wife and kids...so this may just be a source of income.