What causes dissociation and what it takes to heal
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ก.ค. 2020
- I want to let the video and its education do the talking, but suffice it to say that MANY things can cause what is termed dissociation, depersonalization, and derealization. It's important to know that how we heal and recover from a past of stress and adversity that can put us into a dissociative state, be it in body, mind, or both, is going to be individual. This somatic and cognitive state is biologically designed to keep us “safe” from feeling and being with intense somatic and sensory experiences, and in my experience, and as much as some might claim there to be a one size fits all magic bullet cure for this protective state, in my many years of experience, there is no quick fix for shifting and healing at a deep and transformative level that sticks. The solution, again from my experience, is education, solid neurosensory practices that blend the body, mind and environment interfaces, regular unconditional support, and a willingness from the person to heal and break up the nervous system wires that still think the system is under attack. This all takes time and it can be done.
Resources to compliment this vlog:
► Understanding The Orienting Response
irenelyon.com/2019/09/09/what...
► Books I Love
irenelyon.com/2020/05/17/book...
► Self-hold "DIY" neurosensory exercise
• DIY: Ancient anxiety m...
► Titration
irenelyon.com/2020/04/26/titr...
► Pendulation
irenelyon.com/2020/03/29/pend...
► The Body Keeps The Score (book)
www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Sco...
► Nurturing Resilience (book)
www.amazon.com/Nurturing-Resi...
► Functional Freeze Explained
irenelyon.com/2020/07/12/func...
► The ACE Study
/ origins-of-the-ace-study
► Kathy Kain
www.somaticpractice.net/
► Peter Levine
www.somaticexperiencing.com/
► The Feldenkrais Method
feldenkrais-method.org/
► Stephen Porges & The Polyvagal Theory
www.stephenporges.com/
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Thank you for being here!
1. Leave a comment and let me know how this video impacted you. Feel free to leave a question (my team answers them each week!)
2. To get more nervous system health resources, plus learn more about me and my credentials, plus the many ways you can work with me at the practical level, head to my website: irenelyon.com
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4. GOT QUESTIONS? Send an email to: support@irenelyon.com
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Please know that…
The statements on this TH-cam channel or in videos are simply opinion. Content presented or posted on this channel is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment or a professional therapeutic relationship. Content presented or posted is intended to provide general health information for educational purposes only and you should contact the appropriate healthcare professional before relying on any such information.
My website is a wealth of free resources and information on how to start this work, so here it is one more time: irenelyon.com
I just want to feel again
I hear you Rosie M. Sharing a link to a client story that may be of interest. - Jen from Team Lyon
irenelyon.com/2014/04/11/grace-success-story/
Listen to Touch by Sleeping at last
Yes I hear you. I felt this way as well. It's possible.
@@letmeseemm how do I feel better I have felt like this for a long time and it’s never ending I just want it to stop I’m so scared I feel like I’m crazy I don’t under stand whats happening I feel off but I can’t explain it i feel like I’ll never get better and I just want to feel alive again
@@paigebyrd2951 you have to give yourself permission to feel your feelings. They won't over power you they are there to guide you not harm you. You are more powerful than your feelings. Allow them to come and go like the tide.
When I don't feel good, I always watch Irene. Here soul's presence calms me.
By the time my mom had her first heart attack at age 50, I was so used to dissociate that I just shrugged my shoulders. I went to see her in the intensive care unit and asked her how she was, but more out of family duty than concern. I I didn't feel anything. I was 14 then. Later on, the world around me could explode, and I wouldn't budge. A friend and I had a serious car accident on the motorway, the car got turned on its roof and glided so until eventually it came to a halt, upside down. I undid the safety belt, got outside and started to collect the luggage that was dispersed everywhere, unconcerned by the cars driving by. I took the items and made a pile on the side of the road. When the police and ambulance came they ordered me to sit, but I didn't feel anything, apart from "damn, that's the end of the trip". And so on. It is so much safer not to feel the fear or the pain
Hi Yvonne, Seth here with Team Lyon. Yes, this is understandable for sure. When we are living in functional freeze, which is what you are describing here, it can feel a lot easier than what happens when we start doing the work to wake up our system. I have had many a client say, ' I want my freeze back!', and I've felt that way myself.
The thing is, it's actually NOT safer at all to live this way. Living with unresolved trauma makes us sick over time, and will hasten our demise if not addressed. Also, when we can't feel the fear or the pain, we may miss very important cues from our system that are meant to keep us safe. And, when we are cut off from those more difficult emotions and sensations, we are also cut off from feeling things like happiness, purpose, joy, contentment, and deep connection.
I was addicted to dissociation as it was the easiest option for me to go through pain, yet I couldn’t get a job or a relationship so I did feel like I was stuck in something that has been causing pain but at the same time it has been relieving my old pain. It took me a while to take a step and be courageous sad decide to go through life without relying on escapism and dissociation.. I’m still in the process of learning new skills to help me do that..
Hi Victoria W, Jen here from Team Lyon. I acknowledge you for taking the step to be courageous and decide to go through life without trying to rely on escapism and dissociation.
I also want to make sure you're aware that when we take steps to grow nervous system regulation the way that Irene teaches, it can make taking the step much easier as the desire to escape and/or dissociate often gets much less as we grow nervous system regulation.
If you want to learn more, Irene has a very thorough free Healing Trauma Training that many people have found helpful. Here's a link in case you want to check it out: irenelyon.com/healing-trauma
Thank you ! Could you please talk about dissociative amnesia / and chronic dissociation?
When I was an infant (during the early 70s), I had a condition that made colic look like a sunny day in the park. My mom was ashamed to take me out in public. I've been told that the doctors instructed her to put me in my room, shut the door, turn on whatever radio she had as loud as she could, and if she still couldn't drown me out, to turn on the vacuum cleaner as well. I have heard that my episodes wouldn't just last for just a few minutes, but more like hours. They say that colic and its similar conditions aren't random and that the baby is trying to communicate something. I am pretty sure that I was emotionally starving.
My mother was a traumatic survivor herself (she never got healed).
It turns out that I am dismissive avoidant (attachment style), and, oddly enough, my "safe place" is in my room, by myself, with music playing, and i will sometimes play a rain cd simultaneously. I struggle with making solid connections and attachments. I can walk away from (ghost) ANY relationship that I am in at ANY time. This troubles me!
I am sure this sounds like I am a resentful adult and i am trying to get you readers to RSVP to my pity party, but that's not my intention. I resonated with the CEN material as soon as I heard about it and shortly after I listened to the Body Keeps the Score, and I related to that also. Both those started the ball rolling in regard to my interest and inquiry in trauma.
I am pretty sure that as a baby, I went through the fight stage, and then eventually found my way to the freeze stage. I am pretty sure i am in "survival mode".
Anyways, I am sure that I have overshared. My reason for sharing this is that I am hoping that someone that has been down a similar road might be able to suggest any resources.
Thanks in advance.
You are such a beautifully nurturing and loving lady to help strangers like this. Never forget that you are not only enriching lives you are saving them.
I think the important point here is that you have to actively want to fix it, and understand it's going to take conscious work. There is no spontaneous healing.
The hard part is to recognise that there's something there to fix, after all, you could easily be living a dissociated life and not realise it if it's a long term thing. You can genuinely forget you're not really in your body.
So once you realise you have something to fix, the hard work comes to be learning how to fully engage in the present moment in both mind and body. And that's a big ask. It might be easy to do for a couple of seconds or minutes, but doing it for a long time is exhausting!
So grateful for your guidance, as I learn that not only my adult trauma makes me shutdown, but my dysfunctional childhood too. Been in isolation mode for 3 years & it's very lonely. I find it more comforting saying hello (and sometimes small talk) with kind strangers (as I take daily walks with my dog), rather than people I once enjoyed. Kindness matters hugely.
Hi Lisa, Seth here from team Lyon. That's a great point! Often times we can get so much from casual encounters and expressions of simple human kindness, and for someone with a trauma history these kind of encounters can be a lot easier and nourishing than more intimate or familial relationships. Thanks for watching and sharing your thoughts.
Same here! It’s like you’re talking about my life
You know what one dissociated person feel that , people are living in some fairy tale ( good one though) and dissociated person feels like coming out of that awesome fairytale to some real world nightmare..
What can we do to Come back ?
Always great information! As a bodyworker of 22 years, I have learned so much about traumas in the body through my experiences with so many different people. Not ever knowing why deeply hurt people would come to see me, but now I understand why , my natural approach is to slowly introduce touch ,especially to the area on the body that is very protective. I will be working on a woman in a few weeks who is a survivor of MK Ultra. She has had years of different therapies and is ready to explore her body. 🙏🙏🙏
I am a victim of the current version of Mk Ultra, and I converse with many others online who are also in the same situation ☹️. Can you please give me an idea of the kind of therapy you offer which could help myself and others?
Also, where in the world are you situated?
I use to work with a therapist who was trying to help me with my dissociation and state of being shut down. She went through these different sensory exercises with me and gave me a lot of these exact tips. Nothing ever worked or helped because just the act of doing those things with the intent of connecting would actually make me dissociate and shut down more. For me, and perhaps this is where the difference between being physiologically shut down and psychologically dissociated, it's about the way in which my body and mind are perceiving the things I'm attempting to intentionally feel and identify. Everything is just as dead, dull, and sometimes terrifying whether I actively notice them or not. This is because of the belief trauma instilled into me that I am alone and that there is no meaning to be found for me. Then I reinforce that with self-sabotaging behaviors. The thing that has genuinely helped me get back into touch with myself and environment physically has been through understanding and this understanding helps me process things in a different way, then allowing me to make different choices that are more authentic to me. I stop self-abandoning and start believing in myself. I belief that I CAN connect, and so I do. How I see it is I just have a lot of 'mind' I have to work through to get to the body and little by little I'm able to work with the body more with mental progress.
Amazing job 🎉
I personally love the grounding exercise of following the shape of things with my eyes, and repeating the mantra “I accept it’s shape”
When I walk in the park, I outline the shapes of leaves and trees. I will zone in on a section of the leaf or tree and accept its shape without comparing it to anything else. I look at the shape as if it’s the only one of its kind and with the intention to understand it fully.
Thank you for sharing this. : )
It's not it's. It's its.
I really relate to you saying to listen to body cues like needing the loo - during being in therapy I realised I was neglecting myself through little things like leaving it til I was desperate to go to the loo, or eating when I’m not hungry, or starving myself when I was trying to lose weight etc. I was functional enough to the outside world, but so out of sync with myself.
I've begun experiencing the very same things at this time. It's so scary to me I've been forcing myself to not eat when I might have been hungry, not use the restroom when I know I need to, and feeling shame extremely!
I had no idea that my resistance to emptying my bladder when I should had any connection to my emotional/traumatised state until now!
Know you are Safe Now..and then just be “With” the pain. Do not Struggle “Against” it.
Irene, this is fantastic. Thank you. Lost my dad to suicude at age 20 and this video describes very well my state for ten years. I could’ve healed sooner if I felt safe enough to reconnect. Finally woke up one day and said “ I don’t want to live like this” and started the process of feeling again. Funny thing is, my body did just what I told it to do. During the event, which I basically witnessed I went out of my body and viewed it all from above. I could barely tell 911 my address and viewed it all from looking down at myself. I said “ this isn’t real” and my nervous system kept me in that state. I believe there is a spiritual aspect to it and God or Universe said “ ok, you say it isn’t real, it’s not real” and I lives in that state. Not until I recognized that I had literally given my body the command to disconnect by thinking it isn’t real and ten years later I was finally more done with feeling numb than I was afraid to feel the discomfort. At that moment I knew intellectually that it would be hard and I would have a “reverb” or bounce back of all the negative and fearful emotions, but it would be worth it if u wanted to live a meaningful life again. Realizing I am safe now, in this moment has been so helpful. Life is beautiful in the at way, we are in a way, so powerful, and just like I shut myself down, I can also open myself up with intention and action.it’s funny in the dissociated state I would not go to the bathroom for hours and not realize it so it’s funny that you bring up connecting wi try try w body through those urges. That’s one, daily way to do it. And breathwork. Thank you for doing this work, it is hard to find good o formation on this topic. 💕💕
I'm sorry for your loss. I'm glad you found this beneficial.
How are you now
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing, it was really insightful ❤
Sorry for your loss, too. 🙏
For some reason I always need videos like this one to validate my own traumatic experiences. Like I still need proof that I am not imagining it. My mom always defended my dad and ignored his abusive behaviour which has led to this intense feeling of doubt always inside of me.
For me one way to get out of the dissociation state was to call a mental health organisation that is available 24/7, and tell them how I feel. Hearing my own voice saying it to the person on the phone. That was the first step in acknowledging to myself I was really struggling and in need of help.
Thank you for your work, it is very important.
I found yoga helps me with dissociation. I almost feel like my soul is coming back to me and if my mind and body and soul are one unit again. And I don’t have to talk or express my emotions which often I can’t feel.
I’ve been doing yoga with Adrienne
Which yoga?
th-cam.com/play/PLui6Eyny-UzwDdFPVSeYN3aTG_B1qtHtz.html
This is one of the playlists at Yoga with Adrienne, 'Yoga for mental health'. I've found them really helpful.
did u heal?
This is the first time that I totally align with what a healer is saying. I experienced so much dissociation, ended up in hospitals, have tried all kinds of medications, have been struggling to acknowledge my experience and being...
To all the people here who feel this way: I love you and so happy to know im not alone!!
I love u 2!! And i am also glad i am not alone
I have been through so much. And this explains a lot of it. Thank you. Just trying to make sense of it all. Mental abuse. It’s awful.
Hi Irene,
Hope u well.
I was molested and raped as a child, when I was between 6 and 12 yrs of age. I developed DID as a coping mechanism.
I only started learning about my mental health and started going to therapy when I was 37. A big chunk of my memories is still repressed and I get to process small bits and pieces at a time.
The challenge I face daily is learning to stay present, because dissociation happens very easily for me. I have mastered it. It’s a natural thing.
My therapist thinks there is a lot of trauma still trapped in my body, and I have to explore the avenue of body release, whatever that means.
My faith in God keeps me stable and moving forward. His love keeps me safe.
I just wanted to say hi and say that ur video was helpful and very interesting.
A shout out from all of us , in Sofia, Bulgaria 🇧🇬 🙋🏻♀️😁
Hi Stefka Illeva, Jen here from Team Lyon. It sounds like you have a lot of strength and resilience. As you may have heard in this video, dissociation can be an important self-protective response when we've been through trauma.
It's good to hear that you have support in your life. One thing you may want to consider as you work with your therapist are the concepts of titration and pendulation - often in this work a little can go a long way. I'll link to some of Irene's related resources in case you'd like to learn more.
Titration Explained: Never Rush Trauma Healing - irenelyon.com/2020/04/26/titration-explained-never-rush-trauma-healing/
Pendulation: How to Shift Focus to Calm Overwhelm - irenelyon.com/2020/03/29/pendulation-how-to-shift-focus-to-calm-overwhelm/
21yrs I was stuck in survival and I’m only just poking my head out of the freezehole now. Wow!
How, deal u come out show ut
@@srawanlalacharya3584 Education, meditation and attention.
@@penrar oh, meditation and attention I got it ,
What education ?? Did helped it the healing process
How are you now? I am 18 years and just started this.
@@dodox2605 Just keeps getting better but you gotta do the work. Daily meditation, treating your body like a temple, having a good media diet - all super important!
I’m 22 and I’m very sensitive and on the spectrum, but since it’s high functioning I just seem like a tired, anxious and dissociated person. Every time I try to come out of dissociation, the world feels like it’s too much. There have been moments though, where it feels like pure bliss. Actually being able to feel, in a safe environment, as a sensitive person, is pure bliss.
Wow okay. You talking about how people in this deep dissociative state tell stories without feelings hit home. My therapist told me that I deliver things in such a deadpan way, she said that I described a trauma in the same tone of voice as if I was telling someone I had oatmeal for breakfast. I’ve been in this state 24/7 since the start of the year but looking back it’s actually been there at least on a small scale for 10 years. It’s getting better though! I’ve been doing a lot of work with three different therapists all kind of working together. Thank you for your videos and the insight!!s
mine said I do the same thing...actually get a smile on my face...
My therapist said similar - apparently I tell him “[something awful] and then we had a cup of tea” kind of style. I think it does get better with time though - after years in therapy I struggled to say something out loud that I’ve talked about deadpan before, so I guess the feelings must be coming back slowly.
Yeah! I've been doing that too just feeling so numb like no one would really respond as if it was a big deal and not okay! I've become flat in my voice too!
I've had many occasions in the past in which I was telling some traumatic childhood event without any emotion, completely numb. I didn't realized at that time that I was dissociated. It finally hit me that I didn't feel safe with a male therapist and if the therapist said or did something that triggered me and it couldn't be resolved or didn't provide a save setting. So I honored that part of me and moved on till I found someone I did feel safe with. Not just with therapy though, in all settings.
I've been in this state 24/7 for years - moreso in the last 2. I was retraumatised during a panic episode and I've been trying to get out of it ever since. Thank you for putting this into words - it makes me feel so much less alone to hear it ❤
I can relate, my heart goes out to you
How are you doing now?
A therapist told me it was impossible to dissociate for years and i simply quit going. I have been doing this for years as well and I honestly don't know how long? I'm 22 years old. I can't remember when I last felt. I'm floating through life and not enjoying it. I don't know what to do.
@@Haleylovesyou99 Your therapist is completely wrong you need to get a therapist that understands you (:
Learnt so much! Thanks again, Irene! 💕
Thank you, Ms. Irene, that made perfect sense!
You are awesome. Thanks Irene!
watching this re-enforced all the all what's been said to me by my neurologist. thank you for doing this.
Thank you for this reminder Irene❤️
Thank you for this, I really needed to hear this
Thanks 🙂 I've just found your channel and I like how you link so many different practices /methods! Now to watch more of your video 😁🌻
Incredibly helpful ..thank you ❤️
Thank you Irene!! This work really speaks to me.
Thank you for taking the time to do this videos
Best video I've seen to explain to other people what I experience
I’m new here but just this first video I’ve watched u spoke soooo many truths. I’ve never heard of somatic healing. But now that I have I’m diving in! Thank you for doin The good Lords work! 🕊🤍
* I neededdd this. 😞
Love your explanations. Thank you.❤
Irene, just recently I found the poly vagal theory by Dr. Porges. And I have been searching around and I have just found you. And I thank you so much for all your studies. And your ability to take this very intertwined topic and make it usable. I will be listening to everything that you do.🌷Gia
I'm starting to work in my reconnection. It also helps me to watch my body close, see my hands, the lines, the freckles, everything, and talk as I'm the hands. Not "My hands" or "the hands" but "I, as hand..." and then say things I do with my hands " I, as hand, grab things, paint, feel textures..." . And this exercise with every part of my body "I, as feet, feel cold right now" etc. I find so easy to dissociate from the parts of the body, like it's something external to me because "I can see it", I can feel the cold in my feet but then I am not feeling the cold, the feet are. So this exercise helps me reconnect with my body as I am the one that is feeling those sensations or doing those things.
It's hard for me to feel myself And the environment at the same time, if I bring my attention to one thing I lose it in the other. But there we go! Thanks a lot for your videos, your explanations are really clear and full of productive information!!
This is great Fiona, what a good practice :) Thanks for being here and for watching! - Seth from Team Lyon.
That’s a good idea, I’m gonna try that :)
Thank you so much for educating on this
You are so beautiful inside and out and so real. thanks and blessings for all your sharings of your knowledge for healing!
Also too, I recently had a session with a therapist recently and in the session, I felt scared like he was checking out and like I wanted to connect with him more but didn't know how to! I've repeated some of these events with people Soooo much and I've gotten feedback that made me feel that I was being silly for being so emotional about things. In fact, the person that is helping me afford this upcoming therapy is actually one of the people that I experienced much of the emotional trauma from that caused much dissociation for me! And constantly numbed me out to my emotional experience until I had no more. It's like I turn to my abuser to get the help I need though I almost re-traumatize myself whenever we connect...I was healthy prior to this relationship
Irene thank you so much for all your support and hard work. My son has experienced a huge trauma due to multiple bereavements and then this has all surfaced through catching Covid, caused disassociation for over 2 weeks. All you say makes a lot of logic sense and I can relate to everything, and will try to implement your knowledge of healing.
This is Soooo informative for me!! I've been going into equal parts fight, and flight! And freeze! I can't stand still and I am always feeling afraid to settle out of fear that someone won't give me permission to feel at ease
You’re the best, Irene.
listening to the video, in the beginning, triggered a few emotions within me.. and as I continued to listen til the end, I felt more relief as I heard some methods that I can use to heal. I have found that Water has helped me so much in reconnecting, also dancing or working out and walking in nature. Thank you for sharing the info for good books too!
Your videos are fantastic ❤ Thank you so much.🤗🙏
I had so many traumatic experiences stacking on top of one another that I don't remember a lot of them. Instead, I've tried to EMDR "catch-all" type events that will help heal the ones I don't even remember. Great video. Thanks and subscribed!
Thanks for watching and subscribing Alyssa! - Seth from Team Lyon.
Oh my goodness I never thought I would find such a relatable video..I feel like I'm going to cry. I'm not alone and I found what I was looking for! Oh my goodness..thank you so much. I feel this way 24'7, I never get a break. Does that mean harder work for me?
This is so helpful, thank you so much for making this video. May your service bring you immense fulfilment and success in all areas of life :)
Thank you so much. 💖
It is soooo helpful....Thank You❤
Thank you. ❤
Thank you Irene! :)
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Man therapeuts are a blessing from god, ive been suffering from dessociation-depersonalization since last friday, and i have been so scared, ive never encountered something like this before, but i was present for this whole video, i kept stopping the video and doing the things she told me to, and now i understand whats really going on and what to do when it happens, i know i dont suffer from it as bad as other people do, reading what other people go through is scary, so im blessed in that way, im just so happy now that i can heal from this and this isnt something that will cripple me for the rest of my life, thank you so much!!
Also i would like to ask you, do you think maladaptive daydreaming is bad for you after you've started to conquer your condition? After watching this video ive been the most present ive been for days and for the longest periods, and i remember alot more. also my head is way clearer (not a 100 % though), dont get me wronng I still get feelings of unfamiliarity, not recognizing things, and overall things just things not seeming real, but not as intense as before and i now know what to do when that happens, and i understand what triggers it, also im not as scared as i was, but do you think maladaptive daydreaming and creating imaginary conversations and scenarios in your head are bad for you?
hey @@0mgskillz96 Seth here with Team Lyon. Yes, maladaptive daydreaming and creating imaginary conversations and scenarios in your head is not going to be helpful, but it's also not going to hurt you too much, more just keep you stuck. So I would encourage you, when you notice yourself doing that - simply redirect focus to your body and see if you can feel what is happening. Fundamentally, these mental experiences arise from the physiology, which is where the unresolved trauma lives, so just by redirecting our attention to the body (over and over, it takes a while), we can start to get underneath the mental representation, and work directly with the trauma itself.
Tnk you, so helpfull! ✨️
no joke.... I had to pause at 12:11 after you said "they are showing up... they may even be going to work, but its like the soul isn't there, its turned off" I have joked about my soul being checked out for far too many years..... that hit home.
On a less depressing note, I married my husband because he and our children are the only place I truly feel my soul at a blissful level and it is so joyous.
Tried for decades, nothing seems to get through the shell. I dont even have the slightest clue who i am apart from that dissociated parts that went on survival mode during childhood and ever since. You‘ll get though life this way, im even rich. But theres no you any more and everything is a fight for survival. Tires you out.
Bastian Stieg, Jen here from Team Lyon. I get how living in dissociation over time can be exhausting. I hope you heard in this video that there is hope for change when you learn to work with the nervous system / physiology.
Many of us who have lived for years or even a lifetime in varied states of dissociation have learned to live with more presence, vibrancy and authenticity. I'll link to a few related interviews below in case you'd like to learn more.
Healing our resistance to making money, exercising, & living in the matrix with Seth Lyon - irenelyon.com/2023/02/08/healing-in-a-toxic-culture-with-seth-lyon/
Coming out of functional freeze and healing anxiety. - th-cam.com/video/pdWhF2vrwGY/w-d-xo.html
"All my life part of me was missing." - th-cam.com/video/edSSSekEviI/w-d-xo.html
Hi Irene ~ I came across this at a time I really needed it. I've been noticing over the last two years, since a traumatic loss, that my arms would go numb and feel like I couldn't feel them even when rubbing the skin. I said to my talk therapist today that I feel like I'm moving through the responsibilities of my life but I feel like I'mare "floating" somewhere outside myself. There is no visible reason I shouldn't be thriving, but I feel like I have an empty vacant space in my chest. I've been really drawn to sitting by the fire, to rocking, yoga, surrounding myself with tons of pillows at night. I will listen to the audiobook and the other resources too. Thank you. Thank you.
HI Naali Holmes, Jen here from Team Lyon. I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Grief can have a huge impact on us. It's lovely to hear that you're able to listen to and spend time doing things that feel supportive to your system (and you).
This video helped me so much x
I am so grateful to have found this channel which is the first one describing what I go through. Meanwhile I can get out of the freeze response from time to time but it is always exhausting to fall back into it. There is nobody in my surrounding who experiences dissociation and that's why it is good to listen to all the details you share. We are not alone. Love from Germany.
Hi Sa Zet, Seth here from Team Lyon. Thanks so much for watching and commenting. Since you don't have good support around you , I highly recommend checking out Irene's free resourvces so you can start putting this knowledge into practice. Also, if you want to really dive into this work, then her 21 Day Tuneup would be the way to go. Here are those links...
Free Resources - irenelyon.com/free-resources-2/
21 Day Tuneup - 21daytuneup.com/
Most people don't experience dissociation because they aren't aware of it. Once your awareness grows and you get more familiar with your own dissociation, you notice them in others too.
great video! thanks
I want to get you on Joe Rogan and a Rich Roll both of whom talk so much about mind/body and culture but sometime the guests aren’t from a psychology or mental health background or their work is esoteric or they talk about research. You are so practical and such an effective communicator. I’m learning so much from you as I complete my LMHC grad studies and training but broad audiences could really benefit from you and your work. 💪🏼
That would be great!
I agree, Irene is such a great teacher!
Thank you for this video, Irene!!
Thank you Irene,
My session 2 weeks ago with my therapist had really had me shook up about my body moving all over , I kept changing position and I wasn't present when I talked about a trauma that was a significant trauma from childhood.
It bugged me that I couldn't drag myself mentally back too the present.
I couldn't stay still and talk rationally ( bullet point style)
About the trauma
This makes sense now and why he felt like I did great and reassured me not to worry.
I see him this week and I feel ready to talk to him about this dissociation with in this little kid trauma.
It was interesting when I talked in this body movement way, I was only feeling my movement and things like me touching my toes my feet curled up on the couch.
I couldn't hear what I was saying about the trauma or much of what he said back.
It was like we actually accessed the little girl that was traumatized and I was shoved in a corner because I wouldn't have allowed movement to disapate the fear or taken my shoes off.
Normally I just sit very still and hold myself together
Very strange stuff, I'm glad you are out here so I can study up on these topics between sessions
Hi Sue Jorgensen, Jen here from Team Lyon. It's great to hear that Irene's content and what you're learning here is supportive in your work with your therapist. It may be helpful to remember that often less is more when we are in freeze/conservation physiology. Your therapist/practitioner may be aware of this, and I'll share a related video in case it's of interest.
Titration Explained: Never Rush Trauma Healing - irenelyon.com/2020/04/26/titration-explained-never-rush-trauma-healing/
I once was fortunate to attend a workshop on self-massage.
Thank you
Thank you a lot for this! I think I have asked about depersonalization and derealization in the comment section of another video and if you are actually responding to me here, thanks so much 🥰
It seems that I have learned the dissociation mechanism really early as a child and slipped into it when those overwhelming things happened when I was around 14. I did realize how it closed in gradually, like when I only felt something when I cried, then in the moment I started to cry and then I also remember the exact situation where it closed completely until today, I was really scared about a thing that felt inevitable and I couldn’t deal with.
I actually tried getting psychological help about a year and a half after it started but that psychologist didn’t want to talk about the trauma and didn’t listen when I said I think I have depersonalization. Which is really unfortunate. She diagnosed me with a light depressive episode and I ended up lying to her that I felt fine to get out of the therapy because I wasn’t able to stand up for myself and talk back at the time.
I went to an art therapist in that same doctor’s office and she seemed to understand me a little better but then at some point she said that what I describe won’t go away and I have to learn to live with it. I was glad I already knew better because it would have made me really desperate or even suicidal if I had just believed her.
Hi nyctilia, Seth here from Team Lyon. I'm so sorry to hear about your unfortunate experiences with past therapists. Sadly, this is all too common. They are both wrong! Depersonalization is real, and it is absolutely something you can heal. I highly encourage you to check out Somatic Trauma work. A good place to start is with Irene's free resources, or her paid 21 day program, I'll link those below. It sounds like yes, your system learned to default to freeze in the face of stress very early on, but it is never too late to learn how to do something else, that's what neuroplasticity is all about!
Irene's free resources - irenelyon.com/free-resources-2/
21 day Nervous system Tuneup - 21daytuneup.com/
How are you now?
@@irenaw2504 Thanks for asking! I am in trauma therapy now and doing EMDR, which helps me like nothing ever did. It’s the first technique that seems to get through the dissociation. That makes life harder though too. I recently quit my job and am reorganising myself. Trying to get used to not overwhelming myself and practicing mindfulness which is very difficult. I can’t say I’m well but a whole lot further than two years ago.
How are you? If you’d like to share, what are you dealing with?
Have just found you and have a lot of historic trauma which still rules my life at 44 and just want to say that I am so glad you are making videos, I am going to watch them all. I am also a counsellor and would like to expand my knowledge to help others in the future. So thank you. 🙏
Hi Elaine, so great that hear that Irene's videos are helping you to expand your knowledge and ability to help others. If you haven't already seen it, you might find Irene's free Healing Trauma training interesting. I'll link to it here. - Jen from Team Lyon
I can't believe what you did at 13:40 or so!! My coworker does that with his hand and says, " Is it that women don't like me cuz of this?" He seems to spend a lot of time in that state.
I wasn't thinking about him when I started watching, I was watching cuz of me. But now I begin to understand him.
I also thank you for helping me know to try to stay present when this happens to me. I also understand why a therapist said I would just have to live with my tonic immobility. I don't know if she's right or wrong but you have given me the term somatic practitioner to ask a new therapist about. He specializes in PTSD and uses EMDR.
Hi Janet Sanford, Jen here from Team Lyon. Great to hear that Irene's video is helping you to know how to try to stay present at times, and also that you have some information to take to a potential therapist. Something you may want to keep in mind is that EMDR is typically designed to work with shock trauma, so if you have early trauma it's often not the most effective approach (and many therapists don't yet know this). I'll link to a video Irene did on finding a practitioner that may be of interest.
How to Find a Good Somatic Practitioner - irenelyon.com/2019/11/14/how-to-find-a-good-practitioner/
Finally things making sense
Hi Irene, could you do a video on spiritual awakening and healing trauma? How it relates to each other. The ups and downs on both.
Love the work you do in sharing the information you have gathered and am very thankful. Still have to watch this video.
Hi Sand Tx, Jen here from Team Lyon. I'll pass your request along to Irene. I'm also sharing links to a few related videos she's done in the past. They aren't exactly what you're asking for, and may be of interest.
Healing a hurt soul and finding sovereignty - th-cam.com/video/_s6I_bfPWBk/w-d-xo.html
Past Life Trauma. Interview with Janet Raftis - th-cam.com/video/bNQf_ItVxfU/w-d-xo.html
Oh how I wish you could work with my friend & help him feel again. So much of this sounds like the emotion work of spiritual awakening.
Thank you so much im petrified I can't cope no more awaiting help, but might be too late.
I had a Steve this morning!lol😋 sorry I use comedy to deal with my traumas! From your favorite neighborhood Heyoka Lone Wolf ✌️
This is really helpful. It’s been living hell for 7 months. I’m tired of living inside my head. And being shut down emotionally, disconnected from my body.
How did you heal ? Me too :(
@@ceehughes7896 how long is your are like this? And which kind of disassociation do you have? I just feel my leg and hand are not connected to me
@@ceehughes7896 Update? I’m still like this, 24/7, for 8 months now. It’s exhausting, I don’t even have panic attacks or anything but I do feel anxious on some days.
@@xbxllj same except it’s been 11 months for me. Do you feel any better?
Have you healed it yet?
I actually have sought for a somatic therapist as well!! Though I don't have the money at this time to afford it for myself, and, someone else is actually going to be paying for my upcoming sessions with EMDR! However I do hope to work with someone somatically once I am able to afford things.
I'm so glad I found you! In just couple of videos you have confirmed everything I have been learning about trauma. I was in a traffic accident 9 months ago and I'm very dissociated now.... I was alone, but I kept imagining that if my then 19 months old daughter was there, she would have died. Now I can't love her. I don't have any feelings. I try so hard to work on it, it's so specific and difficult when I'm with her and I just totally switch off. I can't play with her as I normally would (I do my best and she still loves it, but it's just not natural for me), I'm in a total survival/protection mode. Do you have any tips how to heal this kind of dissociation?
HI Martyna, Jen here from Irene's Team. I'm so glad to hear that made it through the accident. It sounds like it possibly left you in a state of overwhelm and shut down (which can create the experience of disconnection). Every person and nervous system is unique, and generally speaking slowly creating the safety to allow the underlying emotions to come though can support healing. As painful as it might be, know that it's okay to "fake it until you make it" with your daughter while you do the work to heal from this trauma.
Working 1-1 with someone trained in nervous system work can support your healing, as can Irene's online programs (the two are very complementary). I'll also link to a resource of Irene's that might be of interest.
irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/
Are you a martial artist? You would make a great martial artist being that aware of yourself and how you feel and why. Thank you for your great videos. They are very good and helpful.
Hi Allan Rodriguez, Jen here from Team Lyon. Irene is not a martial artist to my knowledge and she has studied the Feldenkrais Method extensively and teaches it. Moshe Feldenkrais, who developed the method, was a martial artist and drew on related principles in creating his work.
There is a Jinn Shin Jyutsu point that can help with dissociation. Hold the bottom of the rib cage in the front of your body (either side of the solar plexus area). This is point 14, and helps many things, including helping the top half of your body feel connected with the bottom half. If I am aware that I am beginning to dissociate I immediately do this (circumstances permitting) and it has been helpful.
All that orientation stuff is actually helpful. Meditation and mindfulness has already helped me a lot. It does help until a certain point and then doesn’t though, I’ve been there. But also I have practiced it on my own for a 3/4 year, it was really hard in the beginning, then it was better and then it got really hard again and I just couldn’t stick to it. Might be better if one can work on that with a professional in combination with working on the underlying trauma.
What I have learned through that practice though is to get closer to the middle in an instant through my breath. It’s sooo good. Yoga helps me a lot too btw :)
did u cure it? :(
@@karinanikoghos7285 Healing a trauma takes a lot of time. My symptoms haven’t improved much since I wrote that comment.
I am still trying to add meditation to my routine and it is slowly improving :) Am searching for a therapist rn and might have found a good one who doesn’t specialise in body work because almost nobody does over here but she seems open and she can help me with the trauma stuff. And meditation will help me a lot with the feelings that might come up too. I’m really scared and have no idea how it’s supposed to work but I’ll just go with it and see where I end up :D
How are you?
@@nyctilia I have anxiety and panic 24/7. I can barely hold on. This is the worst time of my life. Find someone to try the "rewind technique " which lets u get rid of the trauma in one single session. There are ways to solve things quickly therapy does NOT have to last for years, dont let them fool you ❤️
@@karinanikoghos7285 sorry, have only seen your response just now. Have you tried this technique? I can’t imagine one can rewind a thing that has been built into your system for years in one session. Maybe if it’s one event that didn’t last long and has made your mind crack, like witnessing an accident. But if abuse goes on for years your system can’t handle to relive it all at once, that would be very harmful and maybe even potentially life-threatening. I have been working with this for many years to know that those miracle approaches just don’t work for me. There is no easy fix and I don’t understand how you can tell me not to let “them” fool me. I know you mean well but I don’t think it’s right to say something like that, you don’t know me.
I would recommend that you also take a look at Giovanni Liotti's study on dissociation. He is spot on.
Giovanni liottls
Thankyou
I'm schizophrenic diagnosed and experiencing a psychotic episode whilst at the same time experiencing dissociation - I feel absolutely nothing at all. People ask me how I'm feeling - I simply answer "I'm not". They generalize this as numbness but I get the impression that they are wrong because to me even numbness is still something (in my opinion) so I just tell them if they imagine a number line from 0-10 with 0 being numb and 10 being euphorically happy I tell them that the number line doesn't apply because 0 is still a number (even being the lowest of low numbers) - when I say I feel nothing I mean absolutely nothing - no happiness, no sadness, no fear and trepidation, no anxieties but most importantly zero motivation - not even to take my medication. I'm not living - I'm simply existing.
Hey Michael, Seth here from Team Lyon. Yes, I definitely understand this. It might be good to start exploring somatic work as there are many gentle ways to re-introduce ourselves to our body, it's sensations, and the environment that may be helpful for you. This video might be helpful, it's about soothing anxiety, but also could be applied as simple way to start reconnecting with self... th-cam.com/video/0ICsbXUCKmM/w-d-xo.html
This is my experience
When you put the links in the descriptionbox, could it also be possible that you put them also in the commentbox, I cant see the full descriptionbox no more, YT has changed it for so many of us, who are on a normal pc, there are no buttons to click on to open it up fully, only I can see the first 2 lines or so.
Thank you ..............and ofcourse also huge thank you for all the vids and info, it helps a lot!!!
Thanks for the feedback about the links! I'll pass it along. - Jen from Team Lyon
@@teamlyon3109 Thank you, much appreciated.
My medicaid/medicare can only afford me overworked unqualified therapists/psychologist. This has caused me all kinds of crises and disasters and retraumatizing. I AM NOW PROTECTING MYSELF.
Hi Khalo, Seth here with team Lyon. Very glad to hear you are protecting yourself!! I'll encourage you to check out Irene's free resources, as she has a lot of practical tools you can get started with for free that may be very helpful! Link below...
Free Resources - irenelyon.com/free-resources-2/
Practical Neurosensory Exercises - th-cam.com/play/PL_tIcR-r0CU5Xss_Mq1buU-tWdYVQksjI.html
Not knowing who you are is very scary
You are so beautiful and such a wonderful person.
What about patients dealing with Lyme,ebv etc who also report those issues cause depersonalization? Is it due to the lnf or underIying trauma?
Ive read so many books on this theme. Untill I found that Im not conected to my body. My mind is always runing on the tape, dreams of hororos, and anxiety. I dont feel safe in envoirment, with people. In trying to escape triggers is sometimes to go home. Sometimes walking in nature brings up tears, and I can feel crazy, like Im not normal. Yoga didnt help, it opens anxiety even more. Sometimes insomnia comes and dreams after doing yoga and meditation. I have a problem with doing one small thing for myself. It looks like grpunding is scary. Dosage is a problem. Because the feeling of disconecting is so scary also and you want to get out of this state quickly and maybe I overdose myself.
Hi bebaaskaful, Jen here from Team Lyon. What you say makes a lot of sense. When we tend to dissociate, there's usually a lot going on inside of us that leads up to do so as we tune in, or are in more resources environments like nature, we can tend to feel more and this can feel like too much at times. When we slowly learn to grow nervous system regulation and capacity, the way that Irene teaches, we tend to both have more support for what we're feeling and have the skills to express some of these energies in ways that lead to healing and transformation.
Hey, I have a similar experience and I need to say, sometimes we need to just get through the discomfort. Yoga is also scary for me so it is important to take small steps and be kind to ourselves. It's difficult and scary and brings up a lot of emotions. Is there anyone you can trust to be there with you while you do it (even if you feel far away from them)? That may help. Basically the important thing is knowing our strengths and limits. You may not feel strong enough because there are lots of things coming up- you are strong though. If things are too much, don't distract yourself but instead focus on something small like counting the beads on a necklace. This is a step in the right direction. It all takes time and unfortunately this process is very slow so we must be patient, It will all be so worth it. Over time, as you take more steps to do the things that scare you, it will get easier and easier to walk outside/exercise ect and as we build our habits we will heal. It is very possible- you got this.
I believe I am messed up to a level that this lovely lady cannot even touch on. I am afraid of being embodied, afraid to even talk or look at the world. I have had episodes of dysphasia and things I can't even think about or put into words. I was raised in a cult without parents and abused but a lot of trauma happened to me since then. I've been raising children for the last 28 years. I have held it together but for over a year now I have been plagued by anxiety so severe. I'm losing hope.
Hi Malati Hartley, I'm Jen from Team Lyon. I admire you for the way you've worked to hold it together while you've been raising your children. I also hear you when you say that you're losing hope. With the right support and healing at the nervous system level, our experience of ourselves and life truly can change dramatically.
It can also be helpful to remember that when the nervous system is overwhelmed a common response is to go into a freeze or conservation state, and when we are in this state it's very common to feel hopeless and/or a sense of despair. There is a reflection of the state, not of reality. There is hope.
I'll link to a resource of Irene's that may be supportive. It might also be worth considering starting with Irene's introductory program and/or working 1-1 with someone trained in Somatic Practice. I'll share those links too in case they are of interest.
directory.traumahealing.org
21daytuneup.com
irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/
I had an awful childhood and have no memory of myself then and have noticed that my memory is still bad and I go blank on things that are not bad or stressful. Can you work on that without remembering the abuse?
Hi bassysitch, Seth here from Team Lyon. Yes, the beauty of somatic work is that you don't need to remember what happened in your mind. The body knows and it is speaking about what it is holding in the present moment. As we learn to work with the body, the memories sometimes appear on their own, and sometimes they don't - but either way we can resolve the trauma in the present moment, and that's what is important.
I have dissociated most of my life and have only recently realised what is happening. At one point in my life I thought I must have a brain tumour as these strange episodes would come out of nowhere, affecting my vision where everything would look distorted and far away. Interesting what you say about using bathing / showering as gentle stimulus as I've been extremely adverse to bathing and showering for years, having to really force myself to do it. I had attributed that to autism but wonder now whether it may just be my system wanting to stay dissociated and frozen.
Hello and thank you for this helpful video.
I can't find the self hold video, that's mentioned at 22:40 in this video and I want to learn how to hold myself when feeling like falling apart.
If anyone could help me out with a link, that would be very appreciated.
Thank you very much it's already helpful to work and care for me with what I learned from you.
Hello, Sophia from Team Lyon here. Please take a look at this video's description for some helpful resources.
@irenelyon are there any resources for how to help children displaying somatic difficulties?
I tell u something. having chronic pain, I dissociate a lot .. not to feel the pain of this life- mainly its emotional pain and how it affected and affects my life .. so I cant let it go ... what do u think
I feel this had a lot to do with why people identify with dis-ease and not as a healer/creator.
Question. How do you engage those of us with long haul covid, who by nature of this debilitating disease, practice your healing exercises on us? What have been your successes in this situation?
Hi Patricia Niedrich, Jen here from Team Lyon. As long haul covid is relatively new, we're still very much in the learning mode. What we are finding is that the experience of contracting Covid and the symptoms can be traumatic for some people, and so in some cases it can be hard to tell which symptoms result from the virus and which result from the trauma.
Either way, working with the nervous system to grow regulation and capacity the way that Irene teaches, and/or that you can do by working with a trained nervous system practitioner, will likely support the healing process. I'll link to one of Irene's free resources that might be of support.
4 Surprisingly Simple Steps to Calm Overwhelm... - irenelyon.com/4-steps-to-calm-overwhelm/