People assume single mothers are the only ones who treat their son as surrogate husband. But I have seen married women who do the same , because their husbands are not treating them well. So these women treat their sons as surrogate husbands & get jealous of their son's girlfriend or wife.
Yesss, my in-law starts to whine to my husband about giving her money every time she sees him do something for me! But she’s married her damn self! It’s disgusting
Has 2B. Exactly!!! Omg. FACTS!!! It’s like the mothers man/partner/husband is literally just there for show because these woman are completely self absorbed and can’t be caught dead slipping without a man! 🤦🏽♀️ and they make sure they micro manage their sons just in case the man does finally decide to leave their hateful asses. They are SO skillful sometimes and will use anything they can to control the situation. It’s pretty scary.
🎯🎯🎯‼️ I have 2 sons and I don’t understand these women that call their son’s their “King” & “man of the house” Negative. It’s disgusting, ladies. Stop please.
Sonya Hinds I just left my husband after 18 years of marriage. Best decision ever, he was too content and we got married young. I’m Mature enough now to know better
I am too. It’s DISGUSTING. I’m Hispanic and married African American mommas boy. I didn’t see it in the beginning. He is a VERY successful man career wise. I literally like to vomit 🤮 at times. I have learned to be quiet and just stay leveled up and do my own thing. When I voice it they get closer 🤮🤮🤮
Sonya Hinds me too, I’m 22 and we’ve been married two years. His mom was a do-it-all and he doesn’t know how to be the man of the house because he never saw his dad be one. Im not wasting my twenties being a work horse while he gets to keep pretending to be a lil boy.
Somebody pass around the offering plate because I just know that this video is about to call out so many demons 😭😭😭😩😩😩😩🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️
JJ Black right!! Because their partners get tired of the antics and control mechanisms they deploy to destroy soul and maintain control. Chloe is that woman!!!!!! OMG I love this woman! Lol
@@jjblack4905 And it's sick! Made me think about Tyrese in Baby boy. LAWD, how any wife or gf could deal ....that's a true test. I don't wish that vexation on no woman. SMH 🌺
I just said that! Plenty of married mothers look to their sons to fill the void their husband's leave. I've dated men with hard working, emasculating, emotionally manipulative married mothers and somewhere deep down I realize that's what they expect from women and may have seen glimpses of in me. I'm happy to be learning better at this point.
@@SOFTcTV you just described my MIL...she emasculated her husband years ago and he has become a major beta male who yet still provides. She emotionally depends on her son ( my husband). Its sad.....she used to treat me like shit when i did nothing but respect her .
Also, these men are their 30's and 40's still living with their mothers (even though they have children and girlfriends),while the sisters have their own homes and families. This subject is book someone need to write.
Success Story: My boyfriend’s mom is great, but her sisters (his aunts) were the problems. Whenever they came to town, I felt the emotional competition. Two complained about me spending every weekend with their nephew, while another was verbally disrespectful to me. I spoke to my boyfriend about it and told him that I love him but I don’t deserve to be treated that way so I’m no longer going to be around his family. He went back to them, stood up for me, and honored my decision to stay way until they learned to respect me. He spent his weekends on my side of town instead and we were at peace. After 3 years of seeing that they’ve lost their nephew due to their bad treatment towards me, they changed their behaviors. Your son/nephew/brother isn’t your husband and him having a lady on his arm shouldn’t be a threat. ❤️
@@candylove49 Yes, I was glad that he had the courage to stand up to them too. If I didn't set those boundaries back then, I'll have to deal with a lifetime of disrespect. 🤦🏾♀️
@@TheBrookeAshley I don't have any issues with any woman who choose to be single. My problem is when they try to cut down someone else who is being loved & cared for by a man. So many older women have given up on themselves. I wish they could see their own beauty and allow themselves to be loved by a good man too.
@@user-zx1ii7vf2z Yes, I actually left the guy I was dating before my current guy because standing up for me was one of the things the last guy was afraid to do. 👍🏾
I’m 25 with a handsome 5 mount old son. I’ve accepted that I am No1# women in his life at the moment , but when he gets married I will become No2# and when he has daughters I will become No3#, etc. AND I AM OK WITH THAT. Thanks Chloe ❤️❤️
right? I'm committed to having my son have his own social life and develop the social skills to navigate this world, cuz when he grows up, mama is gone be living it up in Thailand lol.
This is very common among hispanic marriages as well...these kind of men have no backbone and feel forever indebted to their mom. Uuugghhh I was so stupid..you live and you learn.
It's sickening dealing with a "man" like this. Especially when the sisters are like the mother too. It's a no win situation and the best thing to do is to walk away.
I swear! My kids dad is his moms only son and she has 2 daughters and none of them have successful relationships. She has broken up her oldest daughter marriage and she broke me and my kids dad. The youngest daughter just have babies and the men run immediately after. It’s just sad honestly…..
@A Raymond I think he fought it because he knew that if I left nobody else would deal with him and he didn't want to be alone. On the other hand he never lived with me the entire 6 yrs. He lived with his mother.
I dated a guy that had a mother that hated me only because her son was in a relationship with me. She used to secretly manipulate him to think that I was taking him away, but I wasn't. But to make a long story short, he chose his mom and yes the women on both sides of his family were controlling of all of the men in their family. None of the girlfriends or wives were happy. I learned a valuable lesson in that though, leave the mama boys alone. Yes, I am a single mother of a son, but I teach him that a man supposes to lead his family and be a great provider. Thank you so much for this video, I'm sharing the video on my Facebook.
I've seen this occur in my family. It destroys marriages and damages sibling relationships. These mamas boys eventually start to resent their mothers and will take it out on every woman that crosses their path. They are also usually the type of brothers that are harshly critical of all black women. I also dated a few men like this, no woman could ever measure up to his mother. My last relationship the mother was all in our business because he would tell her all kinds of stuff and she be quick to convince him that I needed to be let go. I got tired of the insanity and I left him alone. His mommy dearest died months later and he started pursuing me again, but I closed the door and padlocked it. He called me on HER birthday, leaving a misty message and I blocked him. A fifty-something year old man that still has an umbilical cord. I'm so glad I booked it away from that mama's boy.
Waaaw so he wanted you to replace her after she passed? But when she was alive he wasn’t able to choose you over her! I’m sorry for him but he had all the time to grow up emotionally. Now it’s too late. I admire your courage to walk away and prevent yourself from becoming his new “significant mother” as someone said in the chat room.
Eva Green Lover These women are emotionally incestuous but not sexual, it’s the fathers who are sexual with their daughters due to higher Male sex drive
I used to be like that, to be honest. But now I am cutting off the umbilical cord. I used to coddled my son too much even if he is free spirited. Thank God he is still young and his wish is to have a father. So this is what I am working on this year; to be the best feminine me to attract a good husband and a great father for him. Thank you for this message and reminder Chloe_.
@@gigiamharic468 thank you for your concern. I said a great father because that's what my son deserves. As for his "father", he doesn't even deserve to have that title. A man who was physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive to the mother of his child doesn't deserve any place in his life (a drug addict even). But still, I will let my son know who he is. As for "A lot of man doesn't want to take care of another man's child", that is not the rule. I know alot of man (and I've met them) who would take care of another man's child in a heartbeat. We just need to vet properly. After all, I always believe that my kids are assets and not liabilities to non one's life. I am taking things one day at a time and with God's will. Whatever I think, will come to be. 💜
He’s literally the man of my dreams. I didn’t detect any red flags… until I met his mother. She is in love with her son in an unnatural way. When we went to dinner with her this lady would not stop giving me the evil eye. Every time my man opened a door for me or kissed my forehead she looked like she was going to cry. It was like I was having dinner with his ex… Update we are no longer together.
Theirs some sick mental issues when you witness this in any mother. I had the same experience with my ex-husband. His mother was crazy anyways, and he loved her treatment towards him, it caressed his wack ego....it was disgusting!!🤢😲😳🤮 While she stole his happiness. He just woke up from her behavior, but I wouldn't trust either one of them. He kinda acts gay or too feminine at times.
not entirely true. I was a victim of this and started to realize it at about 17. I wanted to get away from all of that. like if I were to get married or be in the process rather and she were to continue acting like this then all ties would be cut. trust me most of us HATE this. We tend to get into arguments with our mothers because of things like that. They don't wanna hear it and if you don't have a father or he may live to far, good luck escaping that mother.
I was just talking to myself about this. Someone who i thought was a true friend of mine ( She's maturing very slow so i had to distance myself) is dating a dusty with 2 kids and 2 bms. She just found out that she is pregnant by him. I hate to even hear anything about them b/c its ghetto af. She had 0 kids and is a college graduate so she should have been smarter. But after finding out about the pregnancy he recently got mad at her b/c she had old text messages in her phone from an ex. Secretly i think he's the one cheating (especially with the other bms) since he is now accusing her and he snuck and went through her phone while she was sleeping. His mom recently lashed out at my friend and said that she broke the trust between them. Why can't his fool of a mother see that her son is the problem? Why doesn't she notice that her 27 year old son is on his 3 child by a 3rd woman? Why does she have the nerve to blame a woman for his narcissism.. smh I loath these types of moms who are enablers to their dusty sons. its sick.
Ma’am how do we have the same friend 🤦🏾♀️ and when you try to tell them something, like YOU CAN DO BETTER, they fully agree but go right back to loving that dusty 👎🏾
@@theonlydesides LOL I know... i cant take it! it doesn't make any sense at allll. After they've given me a preview of the circus they chose to join after all the advice, and the red flags, I don't want to hear it anymore.Its annoying when someone thinks you're their diary for them to rant about the consequences of their terrible choices.
I was dating a guy that shared a checking account with his mom. When I told him he should get a separate checking account and he brought it up to his mother she told him she wouldn’t give him any more money unless he stayed on her account. He was 36 years old 🤦🏽♀️
I wouldn’t share anything with my mom, she tried to drive my sports car and I said no and she got mad. That’s how manipulative she is, it took me almost 40 years to figure who she really was.
It’s so draining hearing my coworkers with sons talk about how upset they are that their son has a little gf that he likes or they automatically go against the girl calling her fast. 🤦🏾♀️
@Zephter Thank you for the advice. I personally haven’t spoken to her since May 2021, my husband has relayed any message to her that needs to be said. After she said without hesitation that it wouldn’t matter if I died having kids, because she can take care of them, I washed my hands of her.
This video is exactly what I need to hear rn. I literally just broke up w my bf of 8 years. We were together since I was 18 & I’ve seen the red flags that if we got married his mom would a major problem for me. I even gave him the chance to set boundaries w her b4 leaving him but that was too much for him. I’d rather move on at 26 despite how difficult it is after such a long relationship, smh.
Not only very young but you've got the life experience and perspective, knowledge and empowerment to never do it again. Some of us out here making this mistake over and over again
Courtney Tran stop making the mistake put you first! you can change your life as well. Go to a senior citizen home or community meeting talk to those women. They will tell you you can change at any time. I believe in you. you can do it. Give yourself the grace to fail and start over again everyday until it sticks. Blessings ☀️
In my pick me days I was dating a man with a mother like this and felt if we were to pursue a marital relationship, we should plan for her to live with us. My thought process was twisted back then. Thanks to this channel and others like it, my mind will never entertain such thoughts again.
kudos to you! it's so hard to stand your own ground when they keep brainwashing you every day saying what they are doing is normal and all because of love
The generational curse is true!!! & the flip side of that curse for women - a lot of girls grow up without a man in the household, whether absence completely or a boy in a mans body, & once grown have no idea how a real man carries himself or the way he conducts his life. I think because of this we accept what ever is for the taking because at first we do not know any better. But ladies, once we know better - we have to stop settling & do better!!!...Chloe you on point as usual!💅🏾
Ronnie Patton damn. Wow. This is a DEEP conversation and video. I’m all over this thing commenting. I’m so pleased rn that Chloe is talking about this!! Yo, she’s so on point and so are you two in here!!
I have learned through careful observation some women only raise their sons to love and respect them. They will allow their son to date or marry for the purpose of procreation. But as far as loving and respecting another woman outside herself she will not encourage him to do so. She will be complacent with her son being difficult with other women thus securing her spot as the only woman he can really love and rely on. It is sick and dysfunctional behavior. The mother has emotionally arrested her child and sabotaged his love life. How narcissistic this is.
This is so common.. any time a man is toxic watch his relationship with his mother! Mamas boys make the worst types of men.. they are so entitled and most are narcissistic because they have never had to take accountability for anything! I learnt the hard way.. mamas and sisters tend to behave like they are the wives for these no good men! They grow to become baby daddies because they don’t want to fill the space of wife which is left for their mother..
So this reminded me of 90 Days Fiancé: Colt and Larissa. Although, they are a White couple, if you see a few of their episodes on TLC or TH-cam, one of the reasons why these two divorced was because he was a grown mommy’s grown boy.
Not to mention he stil said he shared a bank account and his cousin was literally the worst to her like he literally insulted her and Colt just stood there doing nothing bo defending her just 💺 and about the white thing I don't thinking son's being coddled is just a white thing I think it's always there because I do see white ladies now and then whi argue with there mother in law in a way that looks like they want all the attention so it's not a thing based on ethnicity
My sons father (we are separated) told our son (6 yr old) that he was the man of the house??? I told my son you are NOT THE MAN OF MY HOUSE. You are a child and I'm the adult. I felt like his dad was trying to set up an unhealthy dynamic between myself and our son...which mimicked his OWN mother issues......
Same. I had to nip that QUICKLY. WTF I look like with a 6 y/o (at the time) as a man of my household?? On the other hand, whenever they go to dad, father/daughter enmeshment takes place and I'm constantly having to reset it.
I once met a man like this.. initially his mother was nice and she spoke badly about her sons ex girlfriend.. when I got to know her son I found out he was toxic as hell! he was the problem and how she made so many excuses for him.. he was an entire dusty in and out of jail.. his mother was a conniving wicked person I will never forget some of the most vindictive things she used to do..
I met a guy and her mommy directly talked about giving birth to a child 🚸 I realised she will take all the decisions when we should sleep together and go outside. She is hell . 😂
@@TheeKaylaMarieOne I'm so sorry to hear that. I never had any brothers only girls. But my mom often speaks of the clear divide in her home growing up between her her sisters and the brothers. Basically the men got away with murder and got more time and investment and the women learned early to fend for themselves and become their own providers and protectors. Especially as black women. Alot of white girls are raised to be a wife. Black girls are raised to be a strong independent black woman. Smh.
And because of this, their daughters end up becoming masculine, strong and independent women and their sons become feminine and testosterone drained boys.
Yes Yes Yes !! Thank you for addressing this generational curse. Emotional Incest is heavy among the Black American household! So many relationships would have been successful if men weren’t emotionally molested from mothers or sisters. Sons have been used as collateral damage for a relationship that didn’t work with the son’s father. Bring it Chloe!
After dating my boyfriend for a year, I finally met his mother. Once I met her I understood why it took so long. She embodied every trait Chloe described in this video. Her entire body language and pattern of conversation, centered on her son being the prize, based on previous experiences and discussions I had with my boyfriend prior to our meeting, I suspected issues, but nothing as toxic as what was exposed during our first encounter. Some of these mothers look at their sons as genetic ATMs, want money, constantly ask for favors, or generally they want to be placed on a pedestal ahead of their son's intimate partner. And they want it known they come first and you as the girlfriend will be second... stand your ground, but don't get petty or lose your character. That's part of most toxic mother's plan. To create a rationale for WHY you Aren't good for her son. Watch the man's reaction and listen closely to how he feels about his mother. That will give you mountains of information on how to navigate through and decide if you will continue the relationship.
From a man’s perspective this is all true! I remember watching my father walk out on us when I was three. As a result I was brought up in a single parent home and otherwise in a predominantly female family. It presented so many problems for me when I stepped out to be my own man. I realized through counseling that I was used as an emotional husband; my mind didn’t develop the way it should have as an African man in this world, I didn’t know/view my God the way I should. I had no clue who I really was because my example & link to my ancestry walked out the door. That left me with so many questions and voids not to mention deep seeded anger because I wasn’t allowed to express myself. I was always “wrangled” back into “My Place”. I’m still working through some issues in my relationships with women. Thanks be to God that he healed me from much of the things I endured & haven’t done justice in this statement.
This video is the very reason why I get tired of these married coaches on youtube (some are Christian women) who keep say "one way to know if someone is right for you is if the family likes or dislike the person you are dating." That's a fallacy. Many of the women in the family get jealous when their son is leaving them. Just because people in the family dont like the son/brothers woman in his life, doesn't mean they are right. And a lot of times they want the man to be with a certain type of women (usually a people pleaser) so they can keep control over the relationship...with the major intent to keep their son close to them. Some of these mother only teach their sons to only love them, not other women, sadly.
Ma'am I know this all too well! They hate any woman who comes close to their sons! I remember my own mother telling me about her "son" (my brother) and how she's related to him and what they're relationship is. I was shocked cause as I remember I grew up with him she left the two of us when we were young I was 3 my bro was 8 and now we're adults and she's trying to come back into his life but she hates he's always like "what about (my name) I have a stronger relationship with him and she hates it she tries to down play mine to make herself feel better 😂the more I watch self-love videos like yours Chloe the more I see the truth!! My god thank you!!!
@@annkelly6349 I don't care for it but my mother uses it to make me feel like I'm not as important to him as her example "my son bought me a necklace and he's doing this and that, my son loves me and he talks to me everyday, my son is an engineer with his girlfriend my son is that, oh what do you know I'm his mother he tells me everything, Did he get you that? Oh he's my son and he's never given me anything like that, I also want that from my son." Like OK I get it he's your son but also my brother soooo why do you have to emphasise your relationship with him everytime like that? She could just say his name. I hate that she does the same with anyone we're related to us like my dad she says to me he's my husband and you don't ask my husband that, what did you say to my husband? she never say your father or brother or uncle or grandmother it's always my husband, my son, my brother, my mother like damn lady I'm also related to them 🤦♀️
@@yoonginavy4967 this why the most ideal thing you can do is move out and keep a distance. If money wasn't the issue I swear I'd move out long ago and never return. They don't deserve daughters
These women are crazy AF, they want to hold on to their sons because they failed with relationships. Get ya'll lazy ass up, get your own money and your own gotdam man. I'm sorry but some of these selfish women piss me off!!
Wow, in my opinion this is one of the most powerful videos that you have made thus far. Continue to enlighten us because it’s very much needed. Bless you Chloe.
I have seen some women including myself loose great men to their mothers. However, what kills me is that ppl still say yes to their proposal, if a man can't stand up for your marriage, he won't stand up for your future kids either. For my ladies who are battling these monster-in-laws I say keep in mind that they don't hate you, they hate the idea of you. I pity them bc their son is the only man walking this Earth that has ever loved them, I thank my Dad everyday for being active in my life it really is a luxury.
What you told us absolutely true... I got married to one and I saw hell in just few days.. I am the living proof that they won't stand for your children. My husband didn't even come to see our dead child. Please run away from these man children if you come accross one. But you cannot see it in the beginning
Wow I dealt with this and I just don't get it. She had something negative to say to him about everything he did for me and he would laugh it off...so I left.
This is my ex to a T! His mother was divorced (father married another woman, his mom still single ) expecting my then boyfriend to do things as if he lived there when he lived over 300 miles away. His unmarried sister also expected him to play a father role to his niece. He was entirely too adamant about trying to make me a mother BEFORE marriage. I’m glad I knew better and dumped him. Oh and they claimed to be Christians 🤷🏻♀️
Have the same issue. When I found out my significant other was cheating on me, I tried talking to his mother about it and she completely flipped everything on me and took his side. Even with all the evidence I had she didnt want to see or know about it. She told me I needed to do a moral inventory of myself and see what I came up with. Here it is, i was crying and devastated and she was talking to me like i was the one who cheated. I thought we were friends but she showed me different. She also said something that struck me strange. She told me I'm not the one to take up for my kids if they're wrong but your not gonna make him out to be a bad person. Also, she told me she made a mistake trying to be friends with me! Talk about feeling like yr in the twilight zone. She went from talking to me every other day to cancelling me out altogether. Never again!
@@GingerSpices right! I just thought by hersharing with me so many times about how wrong his dad did her 30 years ago with anger in her voice that she would've understood where I was coming from. Especially, knowing how much I loved her son but nope not one bit did she. I know now though.
That's why I don't go out of my way to befriends Mama's or family members! I learned the hard way too. Cheating son and mother who will not hold sons accountable!
So sorry sis. This is how toxic Mothers are. You learn in this type of dynamic not to go to the guy’s mom to expose anything because they jump to the defense of their son from the start. I no longer have to deal with that dynamic anymore, but I feel you on feeling like you have no voice in that situation. It’s truly disheartening 😞
I went through the same situation an all. His mom try to cover for him by telling me the other woman was just his friend but he was given her money an take her on dates in my car. I ended that situation quickly. That situation taught me the mother is the enemy too.🤨🤨
You speak nothing but truth. I just experienced this first hand and after almost 10 years of being in a toxic marriage experiencing this, I’m now filing for a divorce to end the marriage. And guess where the Narcissistic mama’s boy is...Back with his Narcissistic mother. He’s in his 40’s and back living with mommy. She’s loving it because she’s using him to fill the void of her not having a husband and being “lonely”. It’s sickening and disgusting how these type of mother’s are. I had never in my life witnessed or experienced anything like this until being in a relationship with him. I can definitely tell you from experience that these type of mothers have no limits with sabotaging their son’s marriage. I have horror stories for days, regarding what I endured being married to him. I could literally write a book. My soon-to-be ex-husband is damaged goods beyond repair. He’s going to end up growing old with mommy because no woman with an education, self-respect, high self-esteem, and knows her self-worth is going to tolerate it. If you ever find yourself in a situation like this, run!!!! Fast 💨
@nicki nic Any and everything you could think of that a wicked mother-in-law would do. She encouraged him to commit infidelity, not provide, to move in with her, to mistreat and use me, the list goes on and on. She’s a Narcissist which is why he’s one as well. It was constant hell and drama. She was ALWAYS trying to turn him against me, even though she knew I was a good wife to him.
@nicki nic Exactly!!! Sickening and unheard of, right? That’s why I have gone completely no contact by blocking him in every aspect and I’m filing for a divorce. He’s going to end up just like his mom and grow old and alone.
This video was interesting. It really made me think about whether my mom has ever crossed any boundaries. I was raised in a single mother household, but my mom pushed me from a young age to be a provider & protector. She pushed me a bit too hard because now I'm 27, making 6 figures, but I struggle with understanding who I am outside of just being a protector/provider. It's hard to have balance in being a parent so I can kind of understand. I don't have kids, but I know raising kids is not easy at all. There's no manual to it & everyone is just trying (hopefully trying) to do their best for their child/children. It's even harder if you're a single mother raising a boy because there's certain things you can't teach him outside of setting him up to be the best husband he can be for someone else. I feel as though a father can teach his son what the meaning of life is (from a male perspective) outside of providing/protecting. This video was very intuitive & made me think. I feel like a lot of people will get mad at this video lol, but I think it's an important topic to talk about because we need to get back to the essence of family, in all communities, especially the black community. 74%+ of black women are single mothers & that's not good. There's different factors involved. Some people will say "some women make bad choices in picking men", some will say "men are unpredictable and will switch once they got you in their trap", some will say "promiscuity is the reason the black community is so broken, because its promoted in all the music & no one is thinking long term, just about fun". There's so many perspectives & opinions, but we will never get to the root of the issue unless we talk about it. I think there's a lack of accountability, honesty, and self-awareness in most communities, especially the black community that needs to be talked about. So shout out to you. Keep doing your thing.
At the beginning of our relationship,My child’s father’s mother hated my guts literally for no reason to the point she was threatening to do bodily harm to me and my car lol. She finally admitted that she felt as though I was “using” him. Granted, he was a great provider and still is 🤷🏾♀️ I eventually stopped trying to be cool with her and stopped acknowledging her presence which caused her to become even more emotionally and verbally abusive. Yes she was lonely with no man. And I noticed she did this to only him but her other sons where allowed to be in relationships. It was really strange. And to this day she is still resentful of the fact that he takes care of me and his daughter even though we are not together.
A D Same here. He's a mommas boy because his mother coddled him to the max. She thought her son can do no wrong. When he would provide for me at times, his mom would get upset and say we should be doing 50/50.
chioma disgusting . It’s so sad that a mother would condone and encourage dusty behavior from their sons all bc they couldn’t get a man to treat them right and take care of them🤮
Narcissistic men tend to be Mommas Boys. My father is a Mommas boy and also my child's father was a Momma's boy. They are just alike. They have a very strange relationship with their Moms though. It's like they are extremely close yet you can see the toxicity oozing off of it. In both relationships, they gossip like two women. My father's Mom was an enabler for him to abandon me when I was a child among some of the other toxic things he did. The impact that these women have over these mens lives is demonic and straight up crazy. My child's father's mom would literally try and compete with me. I'm 30 and she is 70. It's crazy. They sabotoge their relationships because they want the man's loyalty to belong to them.
Very true! Ex is a narcissists ..piecing of the puzzle came together..he has the be one cuts her grass and no one else , he has the work around her house and nobody else.. welp that relationship taught me a valuable lesson I watch for every sign and red flag ! Recently was talking to a momma boy and when I asked him was he a momma boy his response was "yes not like that tho" lmbo chile bye I was like this a guy a joke
Even my own mother is toxic and overbearing. My brother is a momma's boy. This year on i've decided to put all toxic family members on the low and i am at peace.
I had a mommas boy. The mother was so petty, I went to a party and his mother introduced me to his ex girlfriend but never told me and they way she did was she called her over and said Britt meet so and so. My ex acted odd the entire time we were there. The ex girlfriend and her friends kept wanting me to dance and hang with them. Welp when we left that’s when he told me that was his ex...I was like wow you and yo momma are messy...never experienced that before
I had a toxic mother and sisters, they made me believe I needed to be "the man of the house" putting alot of pressure on me at a young age. Then once I became grown, I was called a mommas boy and ridiculed by ppl who knew nothing about what I went thru, the pain of not having any direction, but being told by these women "to man up"when they don't know sh#t about manhood, they can't even pick one. My own family (all women only) talked mess about me to her friends and other relatives. I was called a b##ch a$$ niqqa by my mom. I'm glad I got the f#ck up outta there. Haven't spoken to her in 5 years. So much for "mommas boy."
Good for you for realizing that your mother and sisters were toxic, but maybe don't get angry at the women you have dated who told you to man up? Maybe they were hurt by the behavior you were exhibiting as a result of the trauma your family gave you? I don't think it was personal. All women want their men to be 'their man'. I hope you understand and more importantly, I hope you heal completely and be able to enjoy great relationships.
Boy mom/adult sister to teenage brother here! Will not EVER do to our sons or our brother what my ex's mothers and our mother knowingly/unknowingly did to them. Resilient, determined, functional, leading gentlemen is the goal in raising and guiding them. Marrying a providing man who allows me to stay in feminine energy is a priority because they certainly aren't seeing that elsewhere in our family. Thanks for this video, Chloe!
I literally just asked a guy who said he’s looking for a “strong black independent woman” like his mom if he was expecting me to be like his mim and carry the load all on my own. He said no, but I don’t believe that and I’m taking it as a red flag. This is deep awareness and women need to see this. Women are raising unsuitable men to date.
I was married to a mamas boy for 21 yrs. He even put her before the kids. I was his second wife they had the same problem. He won me over by telling me he learned his lesson from his first marriage. He hoodwinked me until we got married and slowly slid right back into those habits with his first wife. I left him. My kids response was "its about time. He is now working on his third wife she is clueless. Poor thing.
Wow after watching this tbh... soooooo much in my life makes sense.. my relationship of 8 years was ruined because tbh the first 6 yrs of it I wanted my gf to be "independent Nd strong" like my mother.. My mom used to always say things like "I had to work 3 jobs when I was younger so I don't feel sorry for any woman who don't work as hard" in reference to a time my gf was struggling and I was providing .for her... as a man should right lol I mean I felt it was so natural... She made me and my gf feel so bad at that time we left and my gf.. well ex now hasn't spoken to her in about 3 years... Always told me things like she felt like she came 2nd to my mom . I used to argue almost in defense for my mom like I felt my gf was crazy because I'm like thats my mom your my lover.. but now I see it clear... We were together 8 years and we never got married and it wasn't up until I started watching content like this Really Kevin Samuels, Coach Corey Wayne, ect.. I found out I was making my gf masculine because I wanted her to work just as hard as me so we can live good... therefore everything I suggested was challenged and we argued all the time . She felt as tho if she has to work as hard as me then she shouldn't have to listen to things I say... Once I realized that the reason I have not married her was because she was not the feminine woman i wanted her to be or like she used to be. But now more like the "Strong independent, don't need no man" like how my mom is... things like id ask my ex let's eat more healthy caused a big problem. It didn't matter what I suggested if she felt like she didn't need to do it it wasn't done... after too many arguments trying to get her to go back to being feminine she broke up with me.. Ultimately I blame myself for not realizing what I was doing . I really loved that girl 😪😔 and so much of me "wanting" the strong independent woman like my mom in the beginning was like the foundation of our relationship which ended up never really being what I wanted but more how she was like when I met her. I was confused... Nowadays my mom calls me several times a day with soo many text messages of links and quotes and I really don't read em... every time we talk its for atleast an hr she could go on for more tbh longest was 4 hrs.. don't matter what I could be doing.. its no boundaries and it never was. Probably what my ex was tryna tell me... but oh no can't say nun bout my mom without getting attacked smdh and ever since I gained knowledge on the son-husbands/boyfriends .. I'm having crazy resentment towards my mom rn not to mention the relationship with my dad is all messed up on my end because of the constant bad mouthing when I was younger led me to have ill feelings toward him even tho he been in my life all my life... thats the power I'm realizing she had.. that she acts like she dont.. This video touched me and only thing I can do now that I see the light is to change my mindset... sorry 4 the long post but I had to share my enlightenment hopefully it's some people going thru this that won't let this affect your life and relationships.
I’ve been married to a mama’s boy for 19 years. What a horror. His mother was his first wife, I was his affair and our six kids was his siblings. He believed all of the women he cheated with in our marriage was all affairs against his mother not me. You can’t make this stuff up. Since his mother died he has turned possessed towards her. I’m glad I got out before he killed me physically, mentally, financially, spiritually and emotionally. It hasn’t been easy but it is so much better. Ladies get yourself out of there. He won’t change. You’re not the problem, he is. If the mother doesn’t like you see that as a RED FLAG.
This I can respect all day. My mom is the complete opposite, she didn’t want nothing but the worst for me, she’s not wanting me to not have a family or anything and I had to part ways with her because of how manipulative she is. I had to leave that toxic woman because she wanted to control every part of my life when I got my life and am doing my thing and she wanted to ruin it all. My mom’s got issues that she needs to work on personal, and she even threatened me on Facebook when she saw me and a girl from a different race taking a picture together who I’m now in a serious relationship. I had to personally parted ways with her to stand up for myself. Yes I believe my mom’s a racist. I’m not even speaking to her ever again.
As a male victim of covert emotional incest (as well as prior emotional abuse), this video was fantastically accurate. Unfortunately most guys (most women as well) need therapy to discover that they are victims of childhood emotional abuse. These men are stuck, as I was, until they have the lightbulb moment of recognizing the abuse. It's really unfortunate how common we are.
I managed to escape. And not without male guidance. I feel like it was deliberate. She never allowed me any male guidance, bought clothes for me and never allowed me to do anything difficult. I grew up so confused. But now at 25 I got my own apartment far away from her. But I can't help but worry that now she's alone and I will have to take her in my house
These type of women wouldn't want to be 2nd to their man's mother. You right it comes down to the son putting them in their place and I say protecting their love interest from such evil and misery.
Terrible, I've witnessed my ex bf's mother refer to my ex as "the love of her life" for yeeeeears. SUPER weird! He was such a baby that his sisters used to pick out his girlfriends or talk to girls for him. 😩🤦🏿 And every girlfriend had to be approved by (extremely religious, covert narcissistic) mommy dearest 🤢. I'm SO happy I kicked that big baby out of my house and moved on to be engaged and soon to be married to a provider & protector man 💅🏾😎🎉
Single mother and married mother can treat their son as "the man of her dreams". I have seen it too times with friends and family. Your children cannot fill the emotional void in the your life, and neither anyone else. Ladies, if you don't like being with yourself then stop expecting other people to want to be with you. Please work on your l issues before you have children. It is the best thing you can do for them.
Thank you so much for this video. I get so annoyed by mothers that are rough and commanding with their daughters but soft and coddling to their sons. I’ve witnessed mothers attack their son’s girlfriend when HE cheated on HER!!! So ridiculous. Instead of straightening their sons out, they run to their defense, whether it’s against the spouse, the teacher, the law, the bill collector, etc. These men grow up thinking they will get away with whatever they do. Zero consequences because mama will come running. You are creating another trouble man that multiple women and children will have to deal with.
This happens due to a very common ( but unspoken about) relationship between the mother and son called Emotional or Covert Incest. It’s an insidious form of child abuse that begins very early in the child's life. Usually, the mother is a single mother or has an unsatisfying marriage with her husband and sometimes it’s generational and a learned behavior. “Emotional incest is when the roles are reversed. A parent is lonely and turns to the child for support. The child becomes the adult emotionally, and the adult becomes the child. The parent and child are best friends. The parent and child are emotionally enmeshed. There are no healthy boundaries. Covert Incest has all the features of Emotional Incest but includes a sexual element that involves indirect (not hands on) sexuality that is implied or suggested rather than physically acted out. Most men that have been abused like this since birth believe this is normal behavior between a mother and son. This is their “normal” causing not only great damage, as the child’s normal emotional growth has been hijacked to please his mother, but creates enormous problems in later relationships with a spouse or significant other.
There was a Nigerian movie about this. The mother in law went as far as trying to teach the daughter in law what to cook for her son. She even moved in with them. Her son was into it too. Then he needed to have a child. His wife refused to give him a child because she told him there was no way she's having a boy as a father for her kids. He immediately told his mother to stay out of the marriage after that.
Unfortunately my Mother is like this w/my younger brother. I am the Eldest. Although my Mother and I do not speak, I hope that my brother is not continuing to having to deal w/this type of behavior w/ my Mother. I do doubt it has stopped, but he’s intelligent. And it’s also not rocket science either that he doesn’t know how our Mother is. I just hope everything has changed for the better for him.
@Juicy Kindness I wish I could, but I have no way of Contacting him unfortunately. .. My Mother exhibits Major Narcissistic tendencies, and has not allowed for me to speak to him. This is one of the reasons why we do not speak. .. I did however tell her that I KNOW how she treats him, and how she plans to exploit him, based on the things she has told me about him. It’s a BIG NO NO not to call out people like this, But, it was a LOOONG time coming from me b/c she has given me the silent treatment for years, while also encouraging her “flying monkeys” or indoctrinating my Siblings, Aunts, Uncles, etc. into also not speaking to me. Whatever, her lost. My Brother will be okay though. He knows
@A J Yeah, some Boys are, and the women in their family.. But luckily I’m not like that. And I’m sure my Brother will not come out this unscathed, but he’s not in denial about my Mother. We’ve have discussions about her behavior too.
I think a boy having a positive male role model in their life when growing up is very important. I have 4 brothers and we grew up in a 2 parent household where my dad was the provider. My mum was a homemaker when we were very young then worked once we started school. My dad was still the main provider. Even though mum worked we always asked dad my for money because he was the provider & protector. You hit the nail on the head when you said that they have seen their mum do it all so they expect you to do it all. I saw my dad provide and protect so I expect my man to do the same.. 🤷🏾♀️ Mama’s boys always compare their mum to their girlfriend because these mama’s boys cannot differentiate between being a husband and being a son. The lines are so disturbingly blurred. As soon as I get a red flag that I may be dealing with a mama’s boy I don’t walk away.. I RUN far far away!! It’s always toxic and will take Jesus and therapy for him to undo a lifetime of mental disfunction.
My ex's mum hated me before I even walked through the door. She was a terrible mother who neglected my ex in favour of her new partner, his equally godawful stepfather. My ex turned out to be a kind but pathetic simp who wanted me to assume the role of mother (after trapping me in marriage of course) I left 6 months ago and haven't looked back since. WHEW you never know how much of a mess it is until you're in a situation with a man raised by a toxic mother. NEVER.AGAIN.
I parted ways with my mom- she’s a manipulator, a stalker, questioned my every move on Facebook, my friendships (regardless of race), tried to prevent me from having any kind of fun, then threatened me when I’m in a relationship with a girl outside my race, etc. I had to stand up to her and say no more and wished her the best. I had to get out of the coddling phase. I’m so much better without her.
ALL FACTS. This needs to be told to single Black mothers. We are not your surrogate husband or your emotional crunch. You had us- why is it my responsibility to fulfill your emotional needs? Stop using your children as pawns. Grow up and get the help you need before you kids grow up and cut you out of their lives out of hatred, hurt, and/or confusion.
Yup I have experienced this in relationships the mother and his sister acted like my man was there man. I had never experienced this before until I read an article about it. Nobody wants to compete with that it got ugly and I left which is what they wanted anyway. I learned a lesson from this. Thanks for sharing this video Chloe!
I have experienced this briefly and this is 1 of the reasons I tore my ass. His mother would actually text him asking him to come and cook for her or we would be out of town and she would call him saying she hadn't eaten all day so bring her food. The shit was mad crazy. He's damn near 50! 😂😂 she thought her son was her husband. Lbvs. Gross.
@@deenadream he didn't want to admit she was sick bc then that would mean he too is sick. She lives with him rent free in the room right next to his. Get this. It's a freaking 6 bedroom house. Lol omg sick. She doesn't cook or clean and insist she has some fake illness so she can't cook or clean. What women is going to put up with that. I'll tell you.. a trifling lazy narcissistic heffa just like his momma. Lol facts
I am a kindergarten teacher and I will tell you I’ve seen this so many times. I’ve had kids unable to put on socks, feed themselves, etc (in kindergarten at 5&6) because mom did everything. Trying to get their confidence up was a task because they were groomed that “they need mom to do it”
Do you know I've been reading about narcissist mothers, emotional incest, and enmeshment? This only became a thing when his mother's partner died and it got weird af which sent me on this hypergamous life journey. I don't want anything to do with that dysfunction. It's gross.
An ex of mine left me on our first date to go home because his mother called to tell him she had cooked. It's worth mentioning that we were more than an hour drive from the place where she lived. He left me there and while we dated, she kept interfering. He does have other siblings but she would always call him to ask for help. I wish I had known better then. I just thought he was a good guy. His dad had left his mother with the three of them. Being the first born, I guess he had to take his dad's responsibilities. She used him for everything and still does.
Yes, I’ve experienced all of the above & I am so grateful I escaped that dysfunction. Horrible experience. So sad they ruin them .. they will never be able to have a normal healthy relationship with another woman.
Mothers need their OWN husbands. Mom’s husband should make sure she is well taken care of financially in the event of his death. Hopefully mom kept herself up and can get another husband if she desires....The son has his own wife and children to be responsible for.
@@softfemininity6545 my brother is not married but I stay out of his way when he is spending time with his girlfriend. I remember he offered to pick me up and she was with him, I declined the ride. I don't want to infringe on their time. I'm an adult I can figure it out.
I once dated a guy whose parents(mom and dad). We broke up because his family was against him moving out and being independent. He has a great job and earns really well but he has nothing of his own. All his money is for his family. I dodged a bullet, that family is beyond toxic
One of the reasons I had to let a dude go. Only child and major mommas boy. He was her valentine which was cool but she stayed overnight so he couldnt even do anything if he wanted. Cute , smart , dude with good income but I couldn’t. I don’t want to compete with his mom. She would eventually feel threaten.
My ex mother in law (go figure) used to compete with me when i was married to her son. She even lured him by trying to top my cooking (openly). She was his wife, not me.
Black and Asian families, Lawd the mothers are so attached to their sons its SO UNHEALTHY!!
I'm Southeast Asian. The women in my family coddle the boys/men & blame the girls/women for any shortcomings. It's exhausting.
Facts.
Mother’s love their sons & raise their daughters.
Hispanic Moms too
he most time he is the cash cow
This is why these types of moms dislike their sons girlfriends without any reason at all. They immediately go into competition mode. Its gross.
Don't forget about the man's sisters as well lol
Chinwude Tv it’s so crazy!!! Like what are you competing over?! You want your son sis? Lol! These mothers are psycho!!! Lol
So true. Happened to me
Chinwude Tv This is me
#facts
I'm trying to raise the type of son your daughters won't need therapy to recover from.
Great point
Thank you. I don't have children yet but this current time has me thinking I'll have to do an arranged marriage lool
Virtuous-Woman this realy hit me because I’m going to therapy soon for someone who really just hurt me
Same here
you cant you are a black woman
People assume single mothers are the only ones who treat their son as surrogate husband. But I have seen married women who do the same , because their husbands are not treating them well. So these women treat their sons as surrogate husbands & get jealous of their son's girlfriend or wife.
Has 2B.Yes! I know all about it.
Thank you! Every mommas boy situation I encountered the mother was married and unhappy.
Yesss, my in-law starts to whine to my husband about giving her money every time she sees him do something for me! But she’s married her damn self! It’s disgusting
Yes this is true.
Has 2B. Exactly!!! Omg. FACTS!!! It’s like the mothers man/partner/husband is literally just there for show because these woman are completely self absorbed and can’t be caught dead slipping without a man! 🤦🏽♀️ and they make sure they micro manage their sons just in case the man does finally decide to leave their hateful asses. They are SO skillful sometimes and will use anything they can to control the situation. It’s pretty scary.
🎯🎯🎯‼️ I have 2 sons and I don’t understand these women that call their son’s their “King” & “man of the house” Negative. It’s disgusting, ladies. Stop please.
I know someone that names their son King. Let’s see how that works out.
Right! I see this more with single moms, since there’s no man present and they’re the son then they become the”man of the house automatically”
Ikr!
Agreed. Beyoncé called her Son Sir.
Indeed
I’m married to a mamas boy. I’m living a nightmare. I’m in the process of getting him out my house and getting divorce.
Me too. It been 9 years and I'm over it
Good FOR YOU!!!😊
Sonya Hinds
I just left my husband after 18 years of marriage. Best decision ever, he was too content and we got married young. I’m Mature enough now to know better
I am too. It’s DISGUSTING. I’m Hispanic and married African American mommas boy. I didn’t see it in the beginning. He is a VERY successful man career wise. I literally like to vomit 🤮 at times. I have learned to be quiet and just stay leveled up and do my own thing. When I voice it they get closer 🤮🤮🤮
Sonya Hinds me too, I’m 22 and we’ve been married two years. His mom was a do-it-all and he doesn’t know how to be the man of the house because he never saw his dad be one. Im not wasting my twenties being a work horse while he gets to keep pretending to be a lil boy.
Somebody pass around the offering plate because I just know that this video is about to call out so many demons 😭😭😭😩😩😩😩🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️🏃🏾♀️
Mamas boys arent born they are made by their mothers they want that one son they can count on no matter what
JJ Black right!! Because their partners get tired of the antics and control mechanisms they deploy to destroy soul and maintain control. Chloe is that woman!!!!!! OMG I love this woman! Lol
Not “dusty demon” 😭🤣
😳😳😂😂😂😂
Sad isn't it?! 💗
@@jjblack4905 And it's sick! Made me think about Tyrese in Baby boy. LAWD, how any wife or gf could deal ....that's a true test. I don't wish that vexation on no woman. SMH 🌺
This dynamic includes married mothers. They are not exempt from this toxic behavior.
I just said that! Plenty of married mothers look to their sons to fill the void their husband's leave. I've dated men with hard working, emasculating, emotionally manipulative married mothers and somewhere deep down I realize that's what they expect from women and may have seen glimpses of in me. I'm happy to be learning better at this point.
Many married mothers have unhealthy attachments to their sons.
Facts
@@SOFTcTV you just described my MIL...she emasculated her husband years ago and he has become a major beta male who yet still provides. She emotionally depends on her son ( my husband). Its sad.....she used to treat me like shit when i did nothing but respect her .
Sometimes they're worse.
Also, these men are their 30's and 40's still living with their mothers (even though they have children and girlfriends),while the sisters have their own homes and families. This subject is book someone need to write.
It's the old saying, " Black women raise their daughters but love their sons."
Word of Encouragement!
Why don't YOU step on out there and write that book?
Might just be your calling to do!
😊❤
Where is the disconnect smh 🤦🏽♀️
Miss. Waters
You dodged a bullet, he was going to move in girl 🤦🏽♀️
My brother moved in with his girlfriend’s bedroom at her parents house after I kicked him out. He was in his 30s and still lives with them!
Success Story: My boyfriend’s mom is great, but her sisters (his aunts) were the problems. Whenever they came to town, I felt the emotional competition. Two complained about me spending every weekend with their nephew, while another was verbally disrespectful to me. I spoke to my boyfriend about it and told him that I love him but I don’t deserve to be treated that way so I’m no longer going to be around his family. He went back to them, stood up for me, and honored my decision to stay way until they learned to respect me. He spent his weekends on my side of town instead and we were at peace. After 3 years of seeing that they’ve lost their nephew due to their bad treatment towards me, they changed their behaviors. Your son/nephew/brother isn’t your husband and him having a lady on his arm shouldn’t be a threat. ❤️
Alison Ryce I’m happy you won girl! Many men don’t have the courage to stand up.
@@candylove49 Yes, I was glad that he had the courage to stand up to them too. If I didn't set those boundaries back then, I'll have to deal with a lifetime of disrespect. 🤦🏾♀️
I’m so sorry you even had to deal with that!! I don’t understand what’s wrong with these women!!! They need to find a man of their own!!
@@TheBrookeAshley I don't have any issues with any woman who choose to be single. My problem is when they try to cut down someone else who is being loved & cared for by a man. So many older women have given up on themselves. I wish they could see their own beauty and allow themselves to be loved by a good man too.
@@user-zx1ii7vf2z Yes, I actually left the guy I was dating before my current guy because standing up for me was one of the things the last guy was afraid to do. 👍🏾
I’m 25 with a handsome 5 mount old son. I’ve accepted that I am No1# women in his life at the moment , but when he gets married I will become No2# and when he has daughters I will become No3#, etc. AND I AM OK WITH THAT. Thanks Chloe ❤️❤️
Same that's how it should be
m e l . a n n . i n n mag. God bless women like you 🙏🏼
It will be a nice thing for them to be a wonderful partner to a very lucky women ♥️🙏🏾♥️🙏🏾
Now that here is something else, I love the way you think!
right? I'm committed to having my son have his own social life and develop the social skills to navigate this world, cuz when he grows up, mama is gone be living it up in Thailand lol.
This is very common among hispanic marriages as well...these kind of men have no backbone and feel forever indebted to their mom. Uuugghhh I was so stupid..you live and you learn.
nkreseknowledge lol mentaII iIIness much
Reminds me of 90 day fiancé with Chantel and Pedro
Some Asian, Indian and African jokes are like this too.
Bunch of mommy’s boys. 🙄🙄🙄
same for South Asian moms
It's sickening dealing with a "man" like this. Especially when the sisters are like the mother too. It's a no win situation and the best thing to do is to walk away.
Big facts the sisters make it worse!
this is why People end up running away. and yet People say it's bad and selfish. I don't understand People.
I swear! My kids dad is his moms only son and she has 2 daughters and none of them have successful relationships. She has broken up her oldest daughter marriage and she broke me and my kids dad. The youngest daughter just have babies and the men run immediately after. It’s just sad honestly…..
Going through this now
They need to listen to Tony Gaskins
He makes it clear NP ONE COMES BEFORE HIS QUEEN ( WIFE). His mother tried it and got checked at the door.
Tayan Smith I know that’s right!!!
Yes tony gaskins and chloe_ literally should collab..
Tayan Smith. Now that’s a real man! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
@@d-nise6364 yesss I had hearts in my eyes when he said that 😍💞
@@idoyes1400 definitely!!!😊
Yup I was married to a mama's boy! One of the worst experiences of my life! Don't do it
Gardite Fougy smh
It's crazy he actually try to justify why he needed to live with his mother rather then his(then) wife.
@@blessedchild1981 wow! how long did the marriage last?
@@angelwilson3500 6 yrs and that's because he fought the divorce.
@A Raymond I think he fought it because he knew that if I left nobody else would deal with him and he didn't want to be alone. On the other hand he never lived with me the entire 6 yrs. He lived with his mother.
I dated a guy that had a mother that hated me only because her son was in a relationship with me. She used to secretly manipulate him to think that I was taking him away, but I wasn't. But to make a long story short, he chose his mom and yes the women on both sides of his family were controlling of all of the men in their family. None of the girlfriends or wives were happy. I learned a valuable lesson in that though, leave the mama boys alone. Yes, I am a single mother of a son, but I teach him that a man supposes to lead his family and be a great provider. Thank you so much for this video, I'm sharing the video on my Facebook.
I've seen this occur in my family. It destroys marriages and damages sibling relationships. These mamas boys eventually start to resent their mothers and will take it out on every woman that crosses their path. They are also usually the type of brothers that are harshly critical of all black women.
I also dated a few men like this, no woman could ever measure up to his mother. My last relationship the mother was all in our business because he would tell her all kinds of stuff and she be quick to convince him that I needed to be let go. I got tired of the insanity and I left him alone. His mommy dearest died months later and he started pursuing me again, but I closed the door and padlocked it. He called me on HER birthday, leaving a misty message and I blocked him. A fifty-something year old man that still has an umbilical cord. I'm so glad I booked it away from that mama's boy.
Waaaw so he wanted you to replace her after she passed? But when she was alive he wasn’t able to choose you over her! I’m sorry for him but he had all the time to grow up emotionally. Now it’s too late. I admire your courage to walk away and prevent yourself from becoming his new “significant mother” as someone said in the chat room.
This women is the truth .
toni paige Definitely!!! 🙌🏾
“My son is my king” = Single & Bitter
😂😂😂
And those some of those men kill their girlfriends. And the mothers or sisters are willing to go to jail for them and or try to hide them.
Yep, "not my baby" and "i'll always love you" as the murderer gets locked up smh... they have no shame covering for these rotten seeds they raised
Big Facts! Thank you for saying what I’ve been saying for so long.
Eva Green Lover These women are emotionally incestuous but not sexual, it’s the fathers who are sexual with their daughters due to higher Male sex drive
I used to be like that, to be honest. But now I am cutting off the umbilical cord. I used to coddled my son too much even if he is free spirited. Thank God he is still young and his wish is to have a father. So this is what I am working on this year; to be the best feminine me to attract a good husband and a great father for him.
Thank you for this message and reminder Chloe_.
How old is he?
Good for you sis
@@nessparadis6948 he will be 7 next month. 💜
@@So_Cato thank you 💜
@@gigiamharic468 thank you for your concern. I said a great father because that's what my son deserves. As for his "father", he doesn't even deserve to have that title. A man who was physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive to the mother of his child doesn't deserve any place in his life (a drug addict even). But still, I will let my son know who he is. As for "A lot of man doesn't want to take care of another man's child", that is not the rule. I know alot of man (and I've met them) who would take care of another man's child in a heartbeat. We just need to vet properly. After all, I always believe that my kids are assets and not liabilities to non one's life. I am taking things one day at a time and with God's will.
Whatever I think, will come to be. 💜
He’s literally the man of my dreams. I didn’t detect any red flags… until I met his mother. She is in love with her son in an unnatural way. When we went to dinner with her this lady would not stop giving me the evil eye. Every time my man opened a door for me or kissed my forehead she looked like she was going to cry. It was like I was having dinner with his ex…
Update we are no longer together.
Theirs some sick mental issues when you witness this in any mother. I had the same experience with my ex-husband. His mother was crazy anyways, and he loved her treatment towards him, it caressed his wack ego....it was disgusting!!🤢😲😳🤮 While she stole his happiness. He just woke up from her behavior, but I wouldn't trust either one of them. He kinda acts gay or too feminine at times.
Congrstulations sis❤...I'm in this situation, looking for strength to finish
Men with mothers like this grow up and expect their girlfriends and wives to be Mommy #2!
not entirely true. I was a victim of this and started to realize it at about 17. I wanted to get away from all of that. like if I were to get married or be in the process rather and she were to continue acting like this then all ties would be cut. trust me most of us HATE this. We tend to get into arguments with our mothers because of things like that. They don't wanna hear it and if you don't have a father or he may live to far, good luck escaping that mother.
I was just talking to myself about this. Someone who i thought was a true friend of mine ( She's maturing very slow so i had to distance myself) is dating a dusty with 2 kids and 2 bms. She just found out that she is pregnant by him. I hate to even hear anything about them b/c its ghetto af. She had 0 kids and is a college graduate so she should have been smarter. But after finding out about the pregnancy he recently got mad at her b/c she had old text messages in her phone from an ex. Secretly i think he's the one cheating (especially with the other bms) since he is now accusing her and he snuck and went through her phone while she was sleeping. His mom recently lashed out at my friend and said that she broke the trust between them. Why can't his fool of a mother see that her son is the problem? Why doesn't she notice that her 27 year old son is on his 3 child by a 3rd woman? Why does she have the nerve to blame a woman for his narcissism.. smh I loath these types of moms who are enablers to their dusty sons. its sick.
Yes the enabling is disgusting
Ma’am how do we have the same friend 🤦🏾♀️ and when you try to tell them something, like YOU CAN DO BETTER, they fully agree but go right back to loving that dusty 👎🏾
@@theonlydesides LOL I know... i cant take it! it doesn't make any sense at allll. After they've given me a preview of the circus they chose to join after all the advice, and the red flags, I don't want to hear it anymore.Its annoying when someone thinks you're their diary for them to rant about the consequences of their terrible choices.
A few people have asked me about my brother being in a relationship. I tell people it's not my business. I stay out of grown people business.
I was dating a guy that shared a checking account with his mom. When I told him he should get a separate checking account and he brought it up to his mother she told him she wouldn’t give him any more money unless he stayed on her account. He was 36 years old 🤦🏽♀️
Whet 🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤨🤨😂😂what!! The fact that he went an told his mom about getting separate accounts is crazy
I wouldn’t share anything with my mom, she tried to drive my sports car and I said no and she got mad. That’s how manipulative she is, it took me almost 40 years to figure who she really was.
Wtf
@@mariobryant8803glad you figured out
This is another one of those messages that is LONG OVERDUE!!! kudos, Chloe for handling the topics that NO ONE else will touch!!!
@49jubilee psychologically speaking, yes, but add this to our issues (in the Blk community), and it just compounds everything....
It’s so draining hearing my coworkers with sons talk about how upset they are that their son has a little gf that he likes or they automatically go against the girl calling her fast. 🤦🏾♀️
I am 32 and my man's mom refers to me to people as "his little girlfriend " . I told my man it's demeaning and he needs to check her about that!
It's really sick
@Zephter Fast forward to now, she didn’t show up to our wedding because she said she thought if she didn’t show up he wouldn’t go through with it😒
@Zephter Thank you for the advice. I personally haven’t spoken to her since May 2021, my husband has relayed any message to her that needs to be said. After she said without hesitation that it wouldn’t matter if I died having kids, because she can take care of them, I washed my hands of her.
"Son's were not Born, to be a substitute, for an adult relationship!"
Well spoken video!
This video is exactly what I need to hear rn. I literally just broke up w my bf of 8 years. We were together since I was 18 & I’ve seen the red flags that if we got married his mom would a major problem for me. I even gave him the chance to set boundaries w her b4 leaving him but that was too much for him. I’d rather move on at 26 despite how difficult it is after such a long relationship, smh.
Zatana 1878 Move on you are still young find a better man and don’t look back. You did the right thing ☀️
Not only very young but you've got the life experience and perspective, knowledge and empowerment to never do it again. Some of us out here making this mistake over and over again
Courtney Tran stop making the mistake put you first! you can change your life as well. Go to a senior citizen home or community meeting talk to those women. They will tell you you can change at any time. I believe in you. you can do it. Give yourself the grace to fail and start over again everyday until it sticks. Blessings ☀️
@@books6000 I needed to hear that💗💗💗
Thank u ladies, ur support is very helpful
In my pick me days I was dating a man with a mother like this and felt if we were to pursue a marital relationship, we should plan for her to live with us. My thought process was twisted back then. Thanks to this channel and others like it, my mind will never entertain such thoughts again.
Oh my x wanted me to live with his mum I said no
kudos to you! it's so hard to stand your own ground when they keep brainwashing you every day saying what they are doing is normal and all because of love
The generational curse is true!!! & the flip side of that curse for women - a lot of girls grow up without a man in the household, whether absence completely or a boy in a mans body, & once grown have no idea how a real man carries himself or the way he conducts his life. I think because of this we accept what ever is for the taking because at first we do not know any better. But ladies, once we know better - we have to stop settling & do better!!!...Chloe you on point as usual!💅🏾
@Vee Edge: You're the one who's on point. It's so hurtful. BM enter dating experiences w/a love surplus. We show up with love starvation.
Ronnie Patton damn. Wow. This is a DEEP conversation and video. I’m all over this thing commenting. I’m so pleased rn that Chloe is talking about this!! Yo, she’s so on point and so are you two in here!!
@@turnthepage867 So much truth‐ it almost hurts!!🗣❤❤
💯💢
Vee Edge yes that’s true.
Chrissy and Jim Jones are a great example of what she’s referencing
Yes omg! And he will never marry Chrissy.. the mother has already filled the position of the wife..
Facts, I've always said jim's mom is his real woman. Chrissy just their to provide the 🐱
I have learned through careful observation some women only raise their sons to love and respect them. They will allow their son to date or marry for the purpose of procreation. But as far as loving and respecting another woman outside herself she will not encourage him to do so. She will be complacent with her son being difficult with other women thus securing her spot as the only woman he can really love and rely on. It is sick and dysfunctional behavior. The mother has emotionally arrested her child and sabotaged his love life. How narcissistic this is.
LOVETHIS
This is so common.. any time a man is toxic watch his relationship with his mother! Mamas boys make the worst types of men.. they are so entitled and most are narcissistic because they have never had to take accountability for anything! I learnt the hard way.. mamas and sisters tend to behave like they are the wives for these no good men! They grow to become baby daddies because they don’t want to fill the space of wife which is left for their mother..
Why the hell is you women always talking about some stereotypical black male that you make you choose look in the damn mirror
I have learned to not find out if they have a "good" relationship with mom but if they have a "healthy" relationship.. big difference..
@Janice White NO dustie man here RN former male model well off
@Janice White why you women telling me to shut up haha
@Janice White Woman i am not mad having some fun talking to you. why do women think everybody mad/ i dont have anything to be mad about
So this reminded me of 90 Days Fiancé: Colt and Larissa. Although, they are a White couple, if you see a few of their episodes on TLC or TH-cam, one of the reasons why these two divorced was because he was a grown mommy’s grown boy.
That's odd for a White guy. They're very father oriented. They tell you what the dad does for a living right away.
Ronnie Patton that’s an odd generalization!
@@turnthepage867
Really? You can't be serious with that statement 😑😑😑
@@turnthepage867 lol who is feeding you crap
Not to mention he stil said he shared a bank account and his cousin was literally the worst to her like he literally insulted her and Colt just stood there doing nothing bo defending her just 💺 and about the white thing I don't thinking son's being coddled is just a white thing I think it's always there because I do see white ladies now and then whi argue with there mother in law in a way that looks like they want all the attention so it's not a thing based on ethnicity
My sons father (we are separated) told our son (6 yr old) that he was the man of the house??? I told my son you are NOT THE MAN OF MY HOUSE. You are a child and I'm the adult. I felt like his dad was trying to set up an unhealthy dynamic between myself and our son...which mimicked his OWN mother issues......
Same. I had to nip that QUICKLY. WTF I look like with a 6 y/o (at the time) as a man of my household?? On the other hand, whenever they go to dad, father/daughter enmeshment takes place and I'm constantly having to reset it.
It’s the WORST being in a relationship with a man like this. Excuse me, a little boy 🙄
Denai La’cole yes
I once met a man like this.. initially his mother was nice and she spoke badly about her sons ex girlfriend.. when I got to know her son I found out he was toxic as hell! he was the problem and how she made so many excuses for him.. he was an entire dusty in and out of jail.. his mother was a conniving wicked person I will never forget some of the most vindictive things she used to do..
Damn girl, sounds like we ran into the same dusty 🤔
When him and his mother start talking bad about his ex, red flags 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩all over the place. Run 🏃🏾♀️
I met a guy and her mommy directly talked about giving birth to a child 🚸 I realised she will take all the decisions when we should sleep together and go outside. She is hell . 😂
Mommy dotes on her son, and trains up her daughter.
Facts...that's the story of my childhood.
@@TheeKaylaMarieOne I'm so sorry to hear that. I never had any brothers only girls. But my mom often speaks of the clear divide in her home growing up between her her sisters and the brothers. Basically the men got away with murder and got more time and investment and the women learned early to fend for themselves and become their own providers and protectors. Especially as black women. Alot of white girls are raised to be a wife. Black girls are raised to be a strong independent black woman. Smh.
@@TheeKaylaMarieOne you betta preach sister!
And because of this, their daughters end up becoming masculine, strong and independent women and their sons become feminine and testosterone drained boys.
I'm 5 minutes in. Salute to Chloe_ for potentially ruffling feathers to put the truth on blast.
What were you doing in the comment section? I love your channel btw❤
Yes Yes Yes !! Thank you for addressing this generational curse. Emotional Incest is heavy among the Black American household! So many relationships would have been successful if men weren’t emotionally molested from mothers or sisters. Sons have been used as collateral damage for a relationship that didn’t work with the son’s father. Bring it Chloe!
After dating my boyfriend for a year, I finally met his mother. Once I met her I understood why it took so long. She embodied every trait Chloe described in this video. Her entire body language and pattern of conversation, centered on her son being the prize, based on previous experiences and discussions I had with my boyfriend prior to our meeting, I suspected issues, but nothing as toxic as what was exposed during our first encounter. Some of these mothers look at their sons as genetic ATMs, want money, constantly ask for favors, or generally they want to be placed on a pedestal ahead of their son's intimate partner. And they want it known they come first and you as the girlfriend will be second... stand your ground, but don't get petty or lose your character. That's part of most toxic mother's plan. To create a rationale for WHY you Aren't good for her son. Watch the man's reaction and listen closely to how he feels about his mother. That will give you mountains of information on how to navigate through and decide if you will continue the relationship.
After a year u met. That’s crazy right
Same story here😂
From a man’s perspective this is all true! I remember watching my father walk out on us when I was three. As a result I was brought up in a single parent home and otherwise in a predominantly female family. It presented so many problems for me when I stepped out to be my own man. I realized through counseling that I was used as an emotional husband; my mind didn’t develop the way it should have as an African man in this world, I didn’t know/view my God the way I should. I had no clue who I really was because my example & link to my ancestry walked out the door. That left me with so many questions and voids not to mention deep seeded anger because I wasn’t allowed to express myself. I was always “wrangled” back into “My Place”. I’m still working through some issues in my relationships with women. Thanks be to God that he healed me from much of the things I endured & haven’t done justice in this statement.
This video is the very reason why I get tired of these married coaches on youtube (some are Christian women) who keep say "one way to know if someone is right for you is if the family likes or dislike the person you are dating." That's a fallacy. Many of the women in the family get jealous when their son is leaving them. Just because people in the family dont like the son/brothers woman in his life, doesn't mean they are right. And a lot of times they want the man to be with a certain type of women (usually a people pleaser) so they can keep control over the relationship...with the major intent to keep their son close to them.
Some of these mother only teach their sons to only love them, not other women, sadly.
Ma'am I know this all too well! They hate any woman who comes close to their sons! I remember my own mother telling me about her "son" (my brother) and how she's related to him and what they're relationship is. I was shocked cause as I remember I grew up with him she left the two of us when we were young I was 3 my bro was 8 and now we're adults and she's trying to come back into his life but she hates he's always like "what about (my name) I have a stronger relationship with him and she hates it she tries to down play mine to make herself feel better 😂the more I watch self-love videos like yours Chloe the more I see the truth!! My god thank you!!!
@@annkelly6349 I don't care for it but my mother uses it to make me feel like I'm not as important to him as her example "my son bought me a necklace and he's doing this and that, my son loves me and he talks to me everyday, my son is an engineer with his girlfriend my son is that, oh what do you know I'm his mother he tells me everything, Did he get you that? Oh he's my son and he's never given me anything like that, I also want that from my son." Like OK I get it he's your son but also my brother soooo why do you have to emphasise your relationship with him everytime like that? She could just say his name. I hate that she does the same with anyone we're related to us like my dad she says to me he's my husband and you don't ask my husband that, what did you say to my husband? she never say your father or brother or uncle or grandmother it's always my husband, my son, my brother, my mother like damn lady I'm also related to them 🤦♀️
@@yoonginavy4967 this why the most ideal thing you can do is move out and keep a distance. If money wasn't the issue I swear I'd move out long ago and never return. They don't deserve daughters
These women are crazy AF, they want to hold on to their sons because they failed with relationships. Get ya'll lazy ass up, get your own money and your own gotdam man. I'm sorry but some of these selfish women piss me off!!
Wow, in my opinion this is one of the most powerful videos that you have made thus far. Continue to enlighten us because it’s very much needed. Bless you Chloe.
Thank you so much!
I have seen some women including myself loose great men to their mothers. However, what kills me is that ppl still say yes to their proposal, if a man can't stand up for your marriage, he won't stand up for your future kids either. For my ladies who are battling these monster-in-laws I say keep in mind that they don't hate you, they hate the idea of you. I pity them bc their son is the only man walking this Earth that has ever loved them, I thank my Dad everyday for being active in my life it really is a luxury.
What you told us absolutely true... I got married to one and I saw hell in just few days.. I am the living proof that they won't stand for your children. My husband didn't even come to see our dead child. Please run away from these man children if you come accross one. But you cannot see it in the beginning
Wow I dealt with this and I just don't get it. She had something negative to say to him about everything he did for me and he would laugh it off...so I left.
This is my ex to a T! His mother was divorced (father married another woman, his mom still single ) expecting my then boyfriend to do things as if he lived there when he lived over 300 miles away. His unmarried sister also expected him to play a father role to his niece. He was entirely too adamant about trying to make me a mother BEFORE marriage. I’m glad I knew better and dumped him. Oh and they claimed to be Christians 🤷🏻♀️
Have the same issue. When I found out my significant other was cheating on me, I tried talking to his mother about it and she completely flipped everything on me and took his side. Even with all the evidence I had she didnt want to see or know about it. She told me I needed to do a moral inventory of myself and see what I came up with. Here it is, i was crying and devastated and she was talking to me like i was the one who cheated. I thought we were friends but she showed me different. She also said something that struck me strange. She told me I'm not the one to take up for my kids if they're wrong but your not gonna make him out to be a bad person. Also, she told me she made a mistake trying to be friends with me! Talk about feeling like yr in the twilight zone. She went from talking to me every other day to cancelling me out altogether. Never again!
@@GingerSpices right! I just thought by hersharing with me so many times about how wrong his dad did her 30 years ago with anger in her voice that she would've understood where I was coming from. Especially, knowing how much I loved her son but nope not one bit did she. I know now though.
That's why I don't go out of my way to befriends Mama's or family members! I learned the hard way too. Cheating son and mother who will not hold sons accountable!
So sorry sis. This is how toxic Mothers are. You learn in this type of dynamic not to go to the guy’s mom to expose anything because they jump to the defense of their son from the start. I no longer have to deal with that dynamic anymore, but I feel you on feeling like you have no voice in that situation. It’s truly disheartening 😞
Are you still with the son
I went through the same situation an all. His mom try to cover for him by telling me the other woman was just his friend but he was given her money an take her on dates in my car. I ended that situation quickly. That situation taught me the mother is the enemy too.🤨🤨
You speak nothing but truth. I just experienced this first hand and after almost 10 years of being in a toxic marriage experiencing this, I’m now filing for a divorce to end the marriage. And guess where the Narcissistic mama’s boy is...Back with his Narcissistic mother. He’s in his 40’s and back living with mommy. She’s loving it because she’s using him to fill the void of her not having a husband and being “lonely”. It’s sickening and disgusting how these type of mother’s are. I had never in my life witnessed or experienced anything like this until being in a relationship with him. I can definitely tell you from experience that these type of mothers have no limits with sabotaging their son’s marriage. I have horror stories for days, regarding what I endured being married to him. I could literally write a book. My soon-to-be ex-husband is damaged goods beyond repair. He’s going to end up growing old with mommy because no woman with an education, self-respect, high self-esteem, and knows her self-worth is going to tolerate it. If you ever find yourself in a situation like this, run!!!! Fast 💨
@nicki nic Any and everything you could think of that a wicked mother-in-law would do. She encouraged him to commit infidelity, not provide, to move in with her, to mistreat and use me, the list goes on and on. She’s a Narcissist which is why he’s one as well. It was constant hell and drama. She was ALWAYS trying to turn him against me, even though she knew I was a good wife to him.
@nicki nic She even told him to let our house go into foreclosure and just live with her. I actually heard her tell him that with my own two ears.
@nicki nic Exactly!!! Sickening and unheard of, right? That’s why I have gone completely no contact by blocking him in every aspect and I’m filing for a divorce. He’s going to end up just like his mom and grow old and alone.
This video was interesting. It really made me think about whether my mom has ever crossed any boundaries. I was raised in a single mother household, but my mom pushed me from a young age to be a provider & protector. She pushed me a bit too hard because now I'm 27, making 6 figures, but I struggle with understanding who I am outside of just being a protector/provider. It's hard to have balance in being a parent so I can kind of understand. I don't have kids, but I know raising kids is not easy at all. There's no manual to it & everyone is just trying (hopefully trying) to do their best for their child/children. It's even harder if you're a single mother raising a boy because there's certain things you can't teach him outside of setting him up to be the best husband he can be for someone else. I feel as though a father can teach his son what the meaning of life is (from a male perspective) outside of providing/protecting. This video was very intuitive & made me think. I feel like a lot of people will get mad at this video lol, but I think it's an important topic to talk about because we need to get back to the essence of family, in all communities, especially the black community. 74%+ of black women are single mothers & that's not good. There's different factors involved. Some people will say "some women make bad choices in picking men", some will say "men are unpredictable and will switch once they got you in their trap", some will say "promiscuity is the reason the black community is so broken, because its promoted in all the music & no one is thinking long term, just about fun". There's so many perspectives & opinions, but we will never get to the root of the issue unless we talk about it. I think there's a lack of accountability, honesty, and self-awareness in most communities, especially the black community that needs to be talked about. So shout out to you. Keep doing your thing.
IT'S THE MALES OF THAT COMMUNITY FAULT!
At the beginning of our relationship,My child’s father’s mother hated my guts literally for no reason to the point she was threatening to do bodily harm to me and my car lol. She finally admitted that she felt as though I was “using” him. Granted, he was a great provider and still is 🤷🏾♀️ I eventually stopped trying to be cool with her and stopped acknowledging her presence which caused her to become even more emotionally and verbally abusive. Yes she was lonely with no man. And I noticed she did this to only him but her other sons where allowed to be in relationships. It was really strange. And to this day she is still resentful of the fact that he takes care of me and his daughter even though we are not together.
That's creepy
DanceSexMusicHipHop very !
A D Same here. He's a mommas boy because his mother coddled him to the max. She thought her son can do no wrong. When he would provide for me at times, his mom would get upset and say we should be doing 50/50.
chioma disgusting . It’s so sad that a mother would condone and encourage dusty behavior from their sons all bc they couldn’t get a man to treat them right and take care of them🤮
A D It truly is. I'm not shocked though. She's married to an abusive dusty that splits the bills with her. Like father, like son.
This was recently my experience with my ex!!! This is worse than dating a cheater by FAR!!!
Very much true I completely agree... Going through a marriage with one
Narcissistic men tend to be Mommas Boys. My father is a Mommas boy and also my child's father was a Momma's boy. They are just alike. They have a very strange relationship with their Moms though. It's like they are extremely close yet you can see the toxicity oozing off of it. In both relationships, they gossip like two women. My father's Mom was an enabler for him to abandon me when I was a child among some of the other toxic things he did. The impact that these women have over these mens lives is demonic and straight up crazy. My child's father's mom would literally try and compete with me. I'm 30 and she is 70. It's crazy. They sabotoge their relationships because they want the man's loyalty to belong to them.
Very true! Ex is a narcissists ..piecing of the puzzle came together..he has the be one cuts her grass and no one else , he has the work around her house and nobody else.. welp that relationship taught me a valuable lesson I watch for every sign and red flag ! Recently was talking to a momma boy and when I asked him was he a momma boy his response was "yes not like that tho" lmbo chile bye I was like this a guy a joke
Even my own mother is toxic and overbearing. My brother is a momma's boy. This year on i've decided to put all toxic family members on the low and i am at peace.
I had a mommas boy. The mother was so petty, I went to a party and his mother introduced me to his ex girlfriend but never told me and they way she did was she called her over and said Britt meet so and so. My ex acted odd the entire time we were there. The ex girlfriend and her friends kept wanting me to dance and hang with them. Welp when we left that’s when he told me that was his ex...I was like wow you and yo momma are messy...never experienced that before
I couldn’t be myself around my mom, I had to get away from that environment
Yurp. Facts! Was having this same convo yesterday. This also explains why mothers treat their daughters differently then their sons
cos they raise sons to be princes an daughters to be valets
I had a toxic mother and sisters, they made me believe I needed to be "the man of the house" putting alot of pressure on me at a young age. Then once I became grown, I was called a mommas boy and ridiculed by ppl who knew nothing about what I went thru, the pain of not having any direction, but being told by these women "to man up"when they don't know sh#t about manhood, they can't even pick one. My own family (all women only) talked mess about me to her friends and other relatives. I was called a b##ch a$$ niqqa by my mom.
I'm glad I got the f#ck up outta there. Haven't spoken to her in 5 years. So much for "mommas boy."
Good for you for realizing that your mother and sisters were toxic, but maybe don't get angry at the women you have dated who told you to man up? Maybe they were hurt by the behavior you were exhibiting as a result of the trauma your family gave you? I don't think it was personal. All women want their men to be 'their man'. I hope you understand and more importantly, I hope you heal completely and be able to enjoy great relationships.
Boy mom/adult sister to teenage brother here! Will not EVER do to our sons or our brother what my ex's mothers and our mother knowingly/unknowingly did to them. Resilient, determined, functional, leading gentlemen is the goal in raising and guiding them. Marrying a providing man who allows me to stay in feminine energy is a priority because they certainly aren't seeing that elsewhere in our family. Thanks for this video, Chloe!
I literally just asked a guy who said he’s looking for a “strong black independent woman” like his mom if he was expecting me to be like his mim and carry the load all on my own. He said no, but I don’t believe that and I’m taking it as a red flag. This is deep awareness and women need to see this. Women are raising unsuitable men to date.
I agree to the fullest
I was married to a mamas boy for 21 yrs. He even put her before the kids. I was his second wife they had the same problem. He won me over by telling me he learned his lesson from his first marriage. He hoodwinked me until we got married and slowly slid right back into those habits with his first wife. I left him. My kids response was "its about time. He is now working on his third wife she is clueless. Poor thing.
Completely true... Such a toxic place to be I was not able to survive even one year don't know how you gone through this hell for 21 yrs
I’ve lived this for 17 years. It’s been toxic and hurtful. Being married to a man like this is impossible. 😢😩🥵
auntie, 17 years is punishment and penitence, i hope its not the house mortgage that's preventing you from making moves. you have my sympathy.
I am so sorry you had to go through this hell. I am into one and currently going through divorce. This one year became a complete trauma for me
Nothing you love him, you'll get over it
My MIL had no boundaries whatsoever and her pathetic son refused to stick up for me, EVER! Whew! So glad I’m not apart of that messy family anymore 😎
Wow after watching this tbh... soooooo much in my life makes sense.. my relationship of 8 years was ruined because tbh the first 6 yrs of it I wanted my gf to be "independent Nd strong" like my mother..
My mom used to always say things like "I had to work 3 jobs when I was younger so I don't feel sorry for any woman who don't work as hard" in reference to a time my gf was struggling and I was providing .for her... as a man should right lol I mean I felt it was so natural...
She made me and my gf feel so bad at that time we left and my gf.. well ex now hasn't spoken to her in about 3 years... Always told me things like she felt like she came 2nd to my mom . I used to argue almost in defense for my mom like I felt my gf was crazy because I'm like thats my mom your my lover.. but now I see it clear...
We were together 8 years and we never got married and it wasn't up until I started watching content like this Really Kevin Samuels, Coach Corey Wayne, ect.. I found out I was making my gf masculine because I wanted her to work just as hard as me so we can live good... therefore everything I suggested was challenged and we argued all the time . She felt as tho if she has to work as hard as me then she shouldn't have to listen to things I say...
Once I realized that the reason I have not married her was because she was not the feminine woman i wanted her to be or like she used to be. But now more like the "Strong independent, don't need no man" like how my mom is... things like id ask my ex let's eat more healthy caused a big problem. It didn't matter what I suggested if she felt like she didn't need to do it it wasn't done... after too many arguments trying to get her to go back to being feminine she broke up with me..
Ultimately I blame myself for not realizing what I was doing . I really loved that girl 😪😔 and so much of me "wanting" the strong independent woman like my mom in the beginning was like the foundation of our relationship which ended up never really being what I wanted but more how she was like when I met her. I was confused...
Nowadays my mom calls me several times a day with soo many text messages of links and quotes and I really don't read em... every time we talk its for atleast an hr she could go on for more tbh longest was 4 hrs.. don't matter what I could be doing.. its no boundaries and it never was. Probably what my ex was tryna tell me... but oh no can't say nun bout my mom without getting attacked smdh and ever since I gained knowledge on the son-husbands/boyfriends .. I'm having crazy resentment towards my mom rn not to mention the relationship with my dad is all messed up on my end because of the constant bad mouthing when I was younger led me to have ill feelings toward him even tho he been in my life all my life... thats the power I'm realizing she had.. that she acts like she dont..
This video touched me and only thing I can do now that I see the light is to change my mindset... sorry 4 the long post but I had to share my enlightenment hopefully it's some people going thru this that won't let this affect your life and relationships.
My ex just repeats his mother's lies about me and acts like a child being a fully grown man.
I’ve been married to a mama’s boy for 19 years. What a horror. His mother was his first wife, I was his affair and our six kids was his siblings. He believed all of the women he cheated with in our marriage was all affairs against his mother not me. You can’t make this stuff up. Since his mother died he has turned possessed towards her. I’m glad I got out before he killed me physically, mentally, financially, spiritually and emotionally. It hasn’t been easy but it is so much better. Ladies get yourself out of there. He won’t change. You’re not the problem, he is. If the mother doesn’t like you see that as a RED FLAG.
OMG I thought atleast after their mother's death they will be able to take care of their wives and children looks like this will be forever.
As a mother of a son I can’t wait until he’s a self sufficient man that has his own happy family. That would reassure that I did a good job as a mom
This I can respect all day. My mom is the complete opposite, she didn’t want nothing but the worst for me, she’s not wanting me to not have a family or anything and I had to part ways with her because of how manipulative she is. I had to leave that toxic woman because she wanted to control every part of my life when I got my life and am doing my thing and she wanted to ruin it all. My mom’s got issues that she needs to work on personal, and she even threatened me on Facebook when she saw me and a girl from a different race taking a picture together who I’m now in a serious relationship. I had to personally parted ways with her to stand up for myself. Yes I believe my mom’s a racist. I’m not even speaking to her ever again.
As a male victim of covert emotional incest (as well as prior emotional abuse), this video was fantastically accurate.
Unfortunately most guys (most women as well) need therapy to discover that they are victims of childhood emotional abuse. These men are stuck, as I was, until they have the lightbulb moment of recognizing the abuse. It's really unfortunate how common we are.
I managed to escape. And not without male guidance. I feel like it was deliberate. She never allowed me any male guidance, bought clothes for me and never allowed me to do anything difficult. I grew up so confused. But now at 25 I got my own apartment far away from her. But I can't help but worry that now she's alone and I will have to take her in my house
These type of women wouldn't want to be 2nd to their man's mother. You right it comes down to the son putting them in their place and I say protecting their love interest from such evil and misery.
This was so on point its scary. Life is a very intricate web.
I see women all the time calling their sons BAE BOO, MY LIFE and some more stuff🤨💯🤷🏽♀️ it’s truly strange and disturbing💯🤦🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
Terrible, I've witnessed my ex bf's mother refer to my ex as "the love of her life" for yeeeeears. SUPER weird! He was such a baby that his sisters used to pick out his girlfriends or talk to girls for him. 😩🤦🏿 And every girlfriend had to be approved by (extremely religious, covert narcissistic) mommy dearest 🤢. I'm SO happy I kicked that big baby out of my house and moved on to be engaged and soon to be married to a provider & protector man 💅🏾😎🎉
Single mother and married mother can treat their son as "the man of her dreams". I have seen it too times with friends and family. Your children cannot fill the emotional void in the your life, and neither anyone else. Ladies, if you don't like being with yourself then stop expecting other people to want to be with you. Please work on your l issues before you have children. It is the best thing you can do for them.
Thank you so much for this video. I get so annoyed by mothers that are rough and commanding with their daughters but soft and coddling to their sons. I’ve witnessed mothers attack their son’s girlfriend when HE cheated on HER!!! So ridiculous. Instead of straightening their sons out, they run to their defense, whether it’s against the spouse, the teacher, the law, the bill collector, etc. These men grow up thinking they will get away with whatever they do. Zero consequences because mama will come running. You are creating another trouble man that multiple women and children will have to deal with.
They tend to treat their sons slightly better than the daughters too...
This happens due to a very common ( but unspoken about) relationship between the mother and son called Emotional or Covert Incest. It’s an insidious form of child abuse that begins very early in the child's life.
Usually, the mother is a single mother or has an unsatisfying marriage with her husband and sometimes it’s generational and a learned behavior.
“Emotional incest is when the roles are reversed. A parent is lonely and turns to the child for support. The child becomes the adult emotionally, and the adult becomes the child. The parent and child are best friends. The parent and child are emotionally enmeshed. There are no healthy boundaries.
Covert Incest has all the features of Emotional Incest but includes a sexual element that involves indirect (not hands on) sexuality that is implied or suggested rather than physically acted out.
Most men that have been abused like this since birth believe this is normal behavior between a mother and son. This is their “normal” causing not only great damage, as the child’s normal emotional growth has been hijacked to please his mother, but creates enormous problems in later relationships with a spouse or significant other.
Unfortunately I and my child became a victim of this by getting married to a mama's boy and very toxic Monster in law.
Expose them, because these women create a lot of problems
Thank you for explaining this to the masses, this is a very common theme.
There was a Nigerian movie about this. The mother in law went as far as trying to teach the daughter in law what to cook for her son. She even moved in with them. Her son was into it too. Then he needed to have a child. His wife refused to give him a child because she told him there was no way she's having a boy as a father for her kids. He immediately told his mother to stay out of the marriage after that.
Who ever disliked this video must be a mother of a “son husband” lol
Unfortunately my Mother is like this w/my younger brother. I am the Eldest.
Although my Mother and I do not speak, I hope that my brother is not continuing to having to deal w/this type of behavior w/ my Mother.
I do doubt it has stopped, but he’s intelligent. And it’s also not rocket science either that he doesn’t know how our Mother is.
I just hope everything has changed for the better for him.
Share this video with him
@Juicy Kindness I wish I could, but I have no way of Contacting him unfortunately.
.. My Mother exhibits Major Narcissistic tendencies, and has not allowed for me to speak to him.
This is one of the reasons why we do not speak.
.. I did however tell her that I KNOW how she treats him, and how she plans to exploit him, based on the things she has told me about him.
It’s a BIG NO NO not to call out people like this, But, it was a LOOONG time coming from me b/c she has given me the silent treatment for years, while also encouraging her “flying monkeys” or indoctrinating my Siblings, Aunts, Uncles, etc. into also not speaking to me.
Whatever, her lost. My Brother will be okay though. He knows
@A J Yeah, some Boys are, and the women in their family..
But luckily I’m not like that. And I’m sure my Brother will not come out this unscathed, but he’s not in denial about my Mother. We’ve have discussions about her behavior too.
@A J okay wishing you all the best
I think a boy having a positive male role model in their life when growing up is very important. I have 4 brothers and we grew up in a 2 parent household where my dad was the provider. My mum was a homemaker when we were very young then worked once we started school. My dad was still the main provider. Even though mum worked we always asked dad my for money because he was the provider & protector.
You hit the nail on the head when you said that they have seen their mum do it all so they expect you to do it all. I saw my dad provide and protect so I expect my man to do the same.. 🤷🏾♀️
Mama’s boys always compare their mum to their girlfriend because these mama’s boys cannot differentiate between being a husband and being a son. The lines are so disturbingly blurred.
As soon as I get a red flag that I may be dealing with a mama’s boy I don’t walk away.. I RUN far far away!! It’s always toxic and will take Jesus and therapy for him to undo a lifetime of mental disfunction.
My ex's mum hated me before I even walked through the door. She was a terrible mother who neglected my ex in favour of her new partner, his equally godawful stepfather. My ex turned out to be a kind but pathetic simp who wanted me to assume the role of mother (after trapping me in marriage of course) I left 6 months ago and haven't looked back since. WHEW you never know how much of a mess it is until you're in a situation with a man raised by a toxic mother. NEVER.AGAIN.
I parted ways with my mom- she’s a manipulator, a stalker, questioned my every move on Facebook, my friendships (regardless of race), tried to prevent me from having any kind of fun, then threatened me when I’m in a relationship with a girl outside my race, etc. I had to stand up to her and say no more and wished her the best. I had to get out of the coddling phase. I’m so much better without her.
ALL FACTS. This needs to be told to single Black mothers. We are not your surrogate husband or your emotional crunch. You had us- why is it my responsibility to fulfill your emotional needs? Stop using your children as pawns. Grow up and get the help you need before you kids grow up and cut you out of their lives out of hatred, hurt, and/or confusion.
Yup I have experienced this in relationships the mother and his sister acted like my man was there man. I had never experienced this before until I read an article about it. Nobody wants to compete with that it got ugly and I left which is what they wanted anyway. I learned a lesson from this. Thanks for sharing this video Chloe!
I have experienced this briefly and this is 1 of the reasons I tore my ass. His mother would actually text him asking him to come and cook for her or we would be out of town and she would call him saying she hadn't eaten all day so bring her food. The shit was mad crazy. He's damn near 50! 😂😂 she thought her son was her husband. Lbvs. Gross.
@@deenadream he didn't want to admit she was sick bc then that would mean he too is sick. She lives with him rent free in the room right next to his. Get this. It's a freaking 6 bedroom house. Lol omg sick. She doesn't cook or clean and insist she has some fake illness so she can't cook or clean. What women is going to put up with that. I'll tell you.. a trifling lazy narcissistic heffa just like his momma. Lol facts
😂😂😂😂
I am a kindergarten teacher and I will tell you I’ve seen this so many times. I’ve had kids unable to put on socks, feed themselves, etc (in kindergarten at 5&6) because mom did everything. Trying to get their confidence up was a task because they were groomed that “they need mom to do it”
Do you know I've been reading about narcissist mothers, emotional incest, and enmeshment? This only became a thing when his mother's partner died and it got weird af which sent me on this hypergamous life journey. I don't want anything to do with that dysfunction. It's gross.
Weird asf how ??
An ex of mine left me on our first date to go home because his mother called to tell him she had cooked. It's worth mentioning that we were more than an hour drive from the place where she lived. He left me there and while we dated, she kept interfering. He does have other siblings but she would always call him to ask for help.
I wish I had known better then. I just thought he was a good guy.
His dad had left his mother with the three of them. Being the first born, I guess he had to take his dad's responsibilities. She used him for everything and still does.
50k views says alot....keep making videos like these. spoke truth.
Yes, I’ve experienced all of the above & I am so grateful I escaped that dysfunction. Horrible experience. So sad they ruin them .. they will never be able to have a normal healthy relationship with another woman.
I hear women tell boys to take care of their mothers when you become an adult.
They should take care of their mothers, however they should know that their first duty is to their wife and children, within reason.
@@babygee.02.01 thank you.
Mothers need their OWN husbands. Mom’s husband should make sure she is well taken care of financially in the event of his death. Hopefully mom kept herself up and can get another husband if she desires....The son has his own wife and children to be responsible for.
Soft Femininity , yaas!
@@softfemininity6545 my brother is not married but I stay out of his way when he is spending time with his girlfriend. I remember he offered to pick me up and she was with him, I declined the ride. I don't want to infringe on their time. I'm an adult I can figure it out.
Whew! Y'alls comments make me sooooo grateful for my sane sweet mother in law.
I once dated a guy whose parents(mom and dad). We broke up because his family was against him moving out and being independent. He has a great job and earns really well but he has nothing of his own. All his money is for his family. I dodged a bullet, that family is beyond toxic
One of the reasons I had to let a dude go. Only child and major mommas boy. He was her valentine which was cool but she stayed overnight so he couldnt even do anything if he wanted.
Cute , smart , dude with good income but I couldn’t. I don’t want to compete with his mom.
She would eventually feel threaten.
My ex mother in law (go figure) used to compete with me when i was married to her son. She even lured him by trying to top my cooking (openly). She was his wife, not me.
Lol!