Hey. Nice to receive an update from you. Really glad that you maintained the position of no contact. I wanted to thank you for posting your earlier videos under the My BPD/NPD Relationship titles. They really helped me come to terms with my own situation when I first saw them. Almost a year since I went no contact. Stay strong. Your story is an inspiration!
Feel so much the same but only sometimes. Hope it’s not a depression in your case 🙁. And yes there are so many of those people so what?! There are so many of us too happy compassionate kind pips. Put your radar on and you will find 😃😉just trying to cheer u up
Hey just seeing this .... glad you are staying strong and have taken the time to learn about this as well as work on yourself. Thanks for being there for me and your help in my own situation. Proud of you brother. Keep it up, stay strong. Love ya!!
As someone who dated someone with BPD with about 1 year and half, I can relate to how your feeling. When someone hurts you so profoundly in a relationship and they take SO MUCH from you, it's hard to have any desire to be in a relationship. I think they really traumatize us to the point where we ask ourselves: Can I ever feel safe with someone again? When will I be able to trust someone again? What if I get into relationship and they end up having BPD too-I can't ever go through that again. What angers me is while we are struggling, they're off to the next person like we never mattered to them. Literally, days afterwards. Mine I am sure was already scoping out a Plan B a long time ago. Because she doesn't want a relationship as much as she needs someone who she can fall back on and who can take care of every single basic human need of hers. No contact for real. They won't be changing any time soon my friends.
I feel your pain..I'm going through this myself. I identify with so much of your story pts.1-4..yes it's quite a toll. Chemicals in the brain, intermittent reinforcement, manipulation and control and on and on. Therapy and codependent counseling. Thanks for sharing.
12 years since my divorce from my borderline ex was finalized. Still living the "single again" life. Absolutely no desire for another relationship at all!!!!!
:( take care of yourself.. It`s hard with no contact. My ex (the guy who killed a pig to make me hate him for my own good) just messaged me "If you would like, I can call you at midnight. (for the happy new year thing) Excuse me if I bothered you." My night sucks and now, after this msg, it got worse. I won`t answer, of course. Hard.. sucks badly. He broke me.
Monica Paunescu hope you did NOT respond. Stay away. Forever. Don’t let your heart deceive you. What the author shares so rawly and effectively is real. This type of disordered person does not and will not change. This circling back (Hoovering) is a symptomatic part of the abuse cycle. What he describes I managed to foolishly endure for 4 years. Finally after the deception was revealed to me in a way I could no longer deny I was able to leave her for good. My intuition was telling me within 4 months something was totally off about her and this budding intense relationship. But the seduction, adoration, affirmation & sex of the cyclical love bombing was addictive. I became addicted. I almost always walked when the raging abusiveness surfaced every 7 to 15 days. But I also ALWAYS returned when she called back to me begging for “her man” who she said she loved and adored and could not live without to return. I wanted to believe that sweet loving supportive version was the real her. I was wrong. With a co-morbid NPD/BPD person, the triggered, angry, deceptive, abusive version is the real true self. I learned that at the very same time she was saying she was loyal to me to the death, could never cheat on me and even having my name tattooed on her body, she was literally sleeping with other men. I even now have reason to believe she may have been plotting my death. Once she knew I once and for all I was not coming back she made good on her long standing threats. Had me arrested (falsified accusations that were quickly dismissed) and tried to get me fired. Destroyed ALL my personal and professional mementos - photos, collections, awards certificates, gifts, etc. Personally vicious and vindictive retaliation. These people can be extremely dangerous. If you haven’t experienced this there is no way to fully understand. So extreme that it’s unbelievable. That’s why some of us stay so long. We can’t even believe it is happening even when it’s happening to us. We don’t want to believe that we are being fooled this way by someone we love and who we foolishly thinks loves us. I didn’t. I fell in love with a mirage. Stay away no matter what. If you are reading this because you are trying to understand what’s happening to you, it probably is. Run! Don’t delay. You can’t fix it and it will get worse.
@@KevinRichardson444 a month ago I answered, after 5 years of no contact. We talked many hours for a few days and then I blocked him back. I recorded these last calls because his love sounds soooooooooo sincere!!! And when I want to feel loved, beautiful, smart, perfect, and sleep quickly in the night, I listen to those calls in my earphones😅
Cory, you've no idea about this particular type of relationship. It's like no other. I would have no idea had I not gone through it myself. It was 2.5 months, extremely intense and burnt out as quickly as it ignited - and I'm a changed person, I say it without exaggeration. Learned so much about myself and people, it's not even funny.
Love heroin... injected right into your amygdala. Unbelievable sex. The best you could ever have. I spent the majority of my life chasing that high. Until you've been through this... you have no idea about it. You thought you had everything you've been looking for... but it wasn't real.
Hey. Nice to receive an update from you. Really glad that you maintained the position of no contact.
I wanted to thank you for posting your earlier videos under the My BPD/NPD Relationship titles. They really helped me come to terms with my own situation when I first saw them. Almost a year since I went no contact.
Stay strong. Your story is an inspiration!
Feel so much the same but only sometimes. Hope it’s not a depression in your case 🙁. And yes there are so many of those people so what?! There are so many of us too happy compassionate kind pips. Put your radar on and you will find 😃😉just trying to cheer u up
Hey just seeing this .... glad you are staying strong and have taken the time to learn about this as well as work on yourself. Thanks for being there for me and your help in my own situation. Proud of you brother. Keep it up, stay strong. Love ya!!
Thanks man! And anytime! I’m here to help the masses lol
As someone who dated someone with BPD with about 1 year and half, I can relate to how your feeling. When someone hurts you so profoundly in a relationship and they take SO MUCH from you, it's hard to have any desire to be in a relationship. I think they really traumatize us to the point where we ask ourselves: Can I ever feel safe with someone again? When will I be able to trust someone again? What if I get into relationship and they end up having BPD too-I can't ever go through that again.
What angers me is while we are struggling, they're off to the next person like we never mattered to them. Literally, days afterwards. Mine I am sure was already scoping out a Plan B a long time ago. Because she doesn't want a relationship as much as she needs someone who she can fall back on and who can take care of every single basic human need of hers.
No contact for real. They won't be changing any time soon my friends.
I feel your pain..I'm going through this myself. I identify with so much of your story pts.1-4..yes it's quite a toll. Chemicals in the brain, intermittent reinforcement, manipulation and control and on and on. Therapy and codependent counseling. Thanks for sharing.
Todd Lewis no problem my man! Glad it helped. I agree therapy and coinciding are a must! Stay strong Ik it’s not easy you’re not alone.
Men=codependent and women=BPD...EXPLOSIVE!!!!
Yes no contact is the only way to go. Congratulations.
Keep working on you. I feel the same a year and a half later im still alone. Yes it takes a big toll. stay strong. Prayers.
12 years since my divorce from my borderline ex was finalized. Still living the "single again" life. Absolutely no desire for another relationship at all!!!!!
Thank you for your videos! Hope all is well with you and Happy New Year
Thank you, I’m glad they have helped
You have ptsd from this and need to get educated on this topic. That will also make u look at yourself on a deep level also.
Please updated as cause we needed to find out you’re situation cause I myself dealing same situation as well so updated to as soon please thanks
I’m here in 2020. Funny because I came across this and this is exactly how I feel. Hmmm
Agnes Ramos i year ya, it gets better
I hope you are continuing to heal.
:( take care of yourself.. It`s hard with no contact. My ex (the guy who killed a pig to make me hate him for my own good) just messaged me "If you would like, I can call you at midnight. (for the happy new year thing) Excuse me if I bothered you." My night sucks and now, after this msg, it got worse. I won`t answer, of course. Hard.. sucks badly. He broke me.
Monica Paunescu if you haven’t already answered. Don’t. That is hovering! Trying to suck you back in!
Monica Paunescu hope you did NOT respond. Stay away. Forever. Don’t let your heart deceive you. What the author shares so rawly and effectively is real. This type of disordered person does not and will not change. This circling back (Hoovering) is a symptomatic part of the abuse cycle. What he describes I managed to foolishly endure for 4 years. Finally after the deception was revealed to me in a way I could no longer deny I was able to leave her for good. My intuition was telling me within 4 months something was totally off about her and this budding intense relationship. But the seduction, adoration, affirmation & sex of the cyclical love bombing was addictive. I became addicted. I almost always walked when the raging abusiveness surfaced every 7 to 15 days. But I also ALWAYS returned when she called back to me begging for “her man” who she said she loved and adored and could not live without to return. I wanted to believe that sweet loving supportive version was the real her. I was wrong. With a co-morbid NPD/BPD person, the triggered, angry, deceptive, abusive version is the real true self. I learned that at the very same time she was saying she was loyal to me to the death, could never cheat on me and even having my name tattooed on her body, she was literally sleeping with other men. I even now have reason to believe she may have been plotting my death. Once she knew I once and for all I was not coming back she made good on her long standing threats. Had me arrested (falsified accusations that were quickly dismissed) and tried to get me fired. Destroyed ALL my personal and professional mementos - photos, collections, awards certificates, gifts, etc. Personally vicious and vindictive retaliation. These people can be extremely dangerous. If you haven’t experienced this there is no way to fully understand. So extreme that it’s unbelievable. That’s why some of us stay so long. We can’t even believe it is happening even when it’s happening to us. We don’t want to believe that we are being fooled this way by someone we love and who we foolishly thinks loves us. I didn’t. I fell in love with a mirage. Stay away no matter what. If you are reading this because you are trying to understand what’s happening to you, it probably is. Run! Don’t delay. You can’t fix it and it will get worse.
Did you answer?
@@KevinRichardson444 a month ago I answered, after 5 years of no contact. We talked many hours for a few days and then I blocked him back. I recorded these last calls because his love sounds soooooooooo sincere!!! And when I want to feel loved, beautiful, smart, perfect, and sleep quickly in the night, I listen to those calls in my earphones😅
Mine just gave birth on 30/17
Damn , you let this girl only after dating for 3 months effect you this much ?
I don't think you could understand if you haven't walked the walk ;)
Cory, you've no idea about this particular type of relationship. It's like no other. I would have no idea had I not gone through it myself. It was 2.5 months, extremely intense and burnt out as quickly as it ignited - and I'm a changed person, I say it without exaggeration. Learned so much about myself and people, it's not even funny.
Love heroin... injected right into your amygdala.
Unbelievable sex.
The best you could ever have.
I spent the majority of my life chasing that high.
Until you've been through this... you have no idea about it.
You thought you had everything you've been looking for... but it wasn't real.