The reason that narcs say that all of the previous people/relationships in their life are "crazy" is for a few reasons: #1 - The BPD/Narc likely called them crazy in arguments and "crazy" was used as a justification for the discard - this is a common tactic to justify the discard by NPDs. #2 - If the narc is BPD, the discard event also must include character assassination - the BPD must bring the negative characterization to establish a baseline in case there are any common friends, etc. This justifies slashing tires, withholding custody visits, moving long distances, bankruptcies, etc - its cover and camouflage. #3 - Both narcs and BPDs use blame shifting - they cannot accept responsibility for their own failures because its too painful. They are always the victim. If the BPD says that the last person was "crazy", you can bet that the last person realized that the BPD was actually crazy and made the accusation, which of course let to the discard. BPDs use splitting, modeled from the good/bad cognitive dissonance from their own childhood experiences and failed relationship between parents. However, BPDs have a tendency to split with hyper-extreme distances between good/bad, black/white because they have no idea how to self-regulate their own very extreme emotions. This excessive splitting can be extremely dangerous especially when the cops and the legal process gets involved. No-contact is the only and best way. Don't play their game because there are no rules and no limits. If you end up being the "crazy one" in their mind, they can convince anyone, including attorneys and judges that you belong in prison... There was probably nothing wrong with her exes beyond normal stuff. They just didn't properly play the game, follow the script or were not willing to let chaos be normal, just like you.
You see this once the FOG ( Fear, Obligation, Guilt ) lifts from what this type does to you! I was scared bc i wanted this to work, i wanted her to be in my life forever as she presented to me in the beginning so i was scared.
they play with love like a 3 year old playing with toys. you have to walk on egg shells to keep the peace. in my experience, she discarded me for the smallest possible thing such as checking/following her Instagram and go on a rampage and be with someone (her plan B) else for a while. after she cooled down, she tried to get me back by endless stalking. they don't love you, they want you to be their emotional punching bag and place all their negativity on you and crush your spirit. They are not capable of love.
D Peiris that's probably one of the best explanations, they love like a three year old. Used as emotional punching bag and mine discarded me for the smalest shit too! No winning wi these types no even compromising with them. they'll use the word love over and over but have no idea how to
In fact, they are stuck at the age where the (C)PTSD caused the BPD. Often, women BPDs (most common) are stuck at an age where they were abused or were discarded by a family member or boyfriend. So, if you can figure out what age the person is acting, you know approximately when the trauma occurred. So, if the BPD regresses to childlike behavior, like storming off and breaking things, it was probably family abuse... If its more like teenager behavior like withholding emotions, touch and more complex behavior, it was probably a early relationship issue that included lots of shame (you fill in the blanks).
Julia Hernandez yuppp they have choices ESPECIALLY when they're told they are making us feel like shit and they continue to do it. She would ,give the excuse and say she was sick mentally sick and that's why she is this way. I guess that gives her the excuse to treat me like she did, like shit. And also be able to function normally and treat others nicely. SO ITS A CHOICE
I am divorcing such a woman now..EXACTLY what I went thru for 5 years....5 years!!!!!!!...... people dont get it until they experience being with a borderline on a intimate personal level... they destroy people internally and change the victim of there wrath forever!
They absolutely know what they are doing. Pretending that they can't control themselves is a method to suck you in to "help" them. The craziest ones use their crazy as bait.
Like in the case with the poor guy posting this video, the BPD didn't excuse the behavior. She actually and essentially admitted that she is nuts and was looking for him to join her in a co-dependent experience. She moves fast. That tells me that she is really really dangerous. Typically, the love bomb and co-dependent dance takes more than a year.
Stan Yarbrough 2 things that define a Borderline. Abandonement and attention. The two most important things in their life, a fear of someone leaving them and starving for attention. Also, a Borderline knows stable unstability.
Another great channel I have to recommend is AJ Mahari's.. I don't know where I'd be in my own recovery without her videos. She's a therapist who has recovered from BPD/NPD, so her insights and way of explaining what goes on in the heads of the people diagnosed with it are incredibly valuable.
sounds like you still have a lot of anger. I did. once the anger went away, life was better. let her go. move on. she is still in your head. she is still controlling you. you will die trying to reduce her behavior. good luck!
Same in the gay world my friend. Blamed for everything and emotionally ruined. Their behaviour makes them absolute c**ts and until they change it, that’s how they shall be defined. No one has the right to pass judgement on this until they have been through it to the same degree - things happen and you can’t find the words to articulate the level of BS going on. My life has been ruined by such an individual. This is my validation and turning point. Thank you.
YouNeverMay Yeah that’s the thing, people will tell you how dare you, bpd is a disease they can’t help it! But as you said NO ONE, NO ONE has the right to comment unless they’ve been through it. It’s a mental war like no other. And has why I did these videos because watching others videos was a turning point to me and I wanted to add mine to that world. Stay strong my friend! It does get better by taking back your mind and being with yourself.
One great thing you can get out of this relationship. You lived through it. You become stronger. You learn boundaries. You discover that you do have needs too and hopefully you learn to love and respect yourself more. Hopefully this was a wakeup call. Usually people badly hurt by someone with a personality disorder have issues within themselves they need solving. They have very few real boundaries with themselves.
Amen dude, I fully agree... There's a mental issue, there's minor slip ups and moods that come and go... And then there's intentionally and even sometimes unintentionally continually trying to ruin someone.
Oh dude! It totally is a mind fuck. My ex has put me through absolute hell. I wanted nothing but the best for her, i tried to help her and look after her but I was always the one that was a piece of shit not doing enough. I got so exhausted and withdrawn from it eventually that she started calling me narcissistic, she even had me believing it. I feel so shit about it all because I care deeply about her and would love for her and I to be happy, but she chewed me up and spat me out like I was nothing. It’s miserable to think this of someone I still love, but I curse the day I met her...
I have bpd and I’ve been watching these videos to see from another prospective. I don’t think you need to be sensitive when expressing how much this woman hurt you and abused you. However I’d just like to express that having bpd doesn’t inherently mean you will be abusive to others. Anyone and everyone can be abusive and generalizing those with bpd as “people who will ruin your life” is quite judgmental. Generalizations aren’t always factual. I spent a good few years very ill and I did things I am not proud of, I had things done to me that really fucked with my head. At that point in my life I honestly can say I couldn’t control my emotions but I did feel awful about it. I did feel so much guilt towards my way of reacting to those closest to me. And I was hospitalized for hating the way I was because I truly felt like a monster. I had awareness but lacked the ability to change. Drs even stopped admitting me since they explained medication can’t fix bpd. I was begging for help and had to wait 2 years for a dbt course that specializes in treating bpd. And I’m fortunate enough to have universal health care in my country so I don’t have to worry about cost. My point I guess is, while I do agree and am learning from these videos it can also be beneficial to understand one does not equal all. And those with bpd can and do get better if they have access to dbt, treatment for ptsd if needed and a good support system. Even if I don’t agree with some specific statements in your videos. I do appreciate you making them and hope they have brought you some closure
After a BPD relationship, you can take like a 5 year monogamy break. Like minimum, it's not about thinking all women are bad, it's personal burnout. The best women still require your time, a BPD mentality drains you of years.
mate! you are helping me a lot in a period of depression im 24 and every video to some extent replays some sort of flashback I had with my bpd ex! when she was down and her dad abandoned her I was there with her and guess what she abandoned me! told me she loved me and i was the best thing ever, day after she ghosted...
This video helped me to realize that I suffer from BPD and my narcissistic tendencies, very mild if any. Thank you for posting your truth it helped me find mine. In turn it has saved my marriage.
Told me she suspected her ex was a serial killer! Now it seems laughable. But also told lies about me. The sickest thing is to really love someone and then you realize they were incepable. More power to you man, great message!
The other common thing I've noticed when they talk about past relationships is that they will almost always frame it in such a way that it gives the impression that they were the victim in every scenario.. and that's a huge red flag.The girl I dated with BPD was addicted to her own sense of victimhood and tried to play that card in pretty much every scenario imaginable.
Miley L well my best friend who was around my ex one time .gave me a heart felt apologize and I accepted it me and him have known each other for since we where 5 years old.im not around toxic people anymore when you realize you where with a narcasstic person who could be sociapath as well when you get away from them .your eyes are opened. For me I realized I was around a lot of toxic people .give you example when I was hurting bad I heard people tell people to get over it .why the f would I be with someone like that .its stupid and your filled with stupidity for all the times you went back to your ex.and I heard from someone they told me their mustve been something f up inside me that made me stay with my ex on and off for two years.thats not my friends. Friends and family who love you will support you.those other people will never be apart of my life again.im working on my codependency issuies .I can say no without feeling guilty about and dont need to explain myself anymore.im very happy TH-cam Is filled with all these people who explain everything that a narcasstic person does .I'm not 100 healed .I thank god that he got me away from my ex in 2017
Hello, I am 60 years old and just want you to know that I enjoy watching your videos because of how well you express yourself and your emotions. You are obviously an very intelligent, compassionate, normal man who walked into crazy town. Except it wasn’t labeled Crazy Town. I think BPD people have a way of choosing the most caring and compassionate and sane people. Maybe they know that you won’t call B.S. immediately because you are so compassionate. The sad part is that they take your best qualities - caring, selflessness, ability to love, humanity, sense of responsibility, and use those great qualities to ensnare you. With the right person, a normal person, those qualities would make you a great partner and help make your relationship a success. But now you have to second guess your every instinct. You are literally living in an upside down world where good is bad and bad is good. You are so interesting to watch. If you were in movies, I would love watching them. You have such a sincere and real quality. If someone came at you with a knife, you would know how to react and understand it. But when someone comes at you with love, but it turns out they are slowly killing you, abusing you, and destroying your soul, it makes no sense whatsoever. We are not equipped or designed to deal with this. Thank you so much for sharing yourself with us. Hearing someone talk so openly about their experience is so incredibly healing, because learning that we were all in the same crazy town together makes us feel sane again. It WASN’T us - it really WAS them. It really restores our trust in our own instincts and our own sense of reality to hear other stories just like ours. It’s also so uncanny how similar these stories are. Restraining order??? Against ME? That’s totally backwards! I would never hurt anyone! Twisting reality and the truth right before your eyes. Blaming you for everything. Oh yeah, part of it was your dog’s fault. Your scheming, mastermind of a dog. You are a beautiful person, inside and out, and I just wanted you to know that.
i really appreciate this, thank you so much for those kind words. im glad it was a good listen for you, i just wanted to share what happened because it is a situation that no many understand. it is straight from the heart, raw and no planning, so im glad you felt it that way. thank you again, it means a lot.
Man, you should check out Paul Elam's youtube channel An Ear For Men.. he's got some really great and informative vids about BPD there that you might benefit from seeing (plus he's no bullshit about this stuff and delivers his clinical perspective with incredible humor and levity), amongst other really great videos about the f-ed up dynamics of the modern male-female relationship paradigm in general and how to navigate them or avoid the major hurdles altogether. I don't think you're wrong at all for telling people to stay away from people with these personality disorders.. it's not that there aren't people who legitimately suffer from them but they KNOW better than to enter into relationships with other people without full disclosure ahead of time. I honestly believe that a lot of the people who claim to have these disorders are just sadists and sociopaths, period. I even know a girl who was diagnosed with BPD and fully recovered with the proper therapy, so I don't buy into the idea that it's incurable at all. I agree totally, there's nothing wrong with a person having certain issues but if they are not at least in some kind of dialectical cognitive behavior therapy on the regular and working on it then they should be completely steered clear of as any kind of potential partner or even as a friend in certain cases. People who have not been subjected to this kind of manipulative mind-fucking in a relationship are rarely, if ever, able to truly understand the nature of it and how it can really screw with a victim's healthy sense of self and identity. I'm actually amazed that people can recover to the degree they are able to sometimes and then continue to date or function the same as before in relationships. It really does a number on our ability to trust.
I'm 6 months out of a relationship with someone like this and still struggling with not blaming myself. It's a total and complete mind fuck. I can't even imagine what she's done in 6 months to other people or with other people.
It's interesting that BPD tend to attract good people who support and are there for them. What happens when they meet someone who doesn't care and start beating on them?
Crazy watching videos on this shit that came out before I even met her.. Damn if I was only more informed before getting into it I wouldn’t be where I am now. But fuck it.. Lesson learnt and I ain’t ever getting fooled twice
You caught on quick, after thinking about things. Why would they all say it's her fault, unless it was? Things don't make sense that the narcissist says, but sometimes it takes a long time for people to pick up on what is really happening. There is a negative undercurrent taking place.
Your ex sounds like a female version of an abusive roommate I had for 3 years - after separating from my borderline wife. Neither of them took responsibility for anything!!!! Thanks for sharing your experience. I agree totally with you.
Can’t believe the Lords Fucking prayer from these BPDs! Run man run and Never look back! These types of ppl don’t give a damn who they hurt what they do it’s all everyone else’s fault but theirs! Yep it’s all about them! My ex was my friend from 12 became involved at 14. My mom broke us up and my ex became this ....BPD. Found me 26 years later and took me on a ride to hell. Discarded me in 2015 and now has been stalking me right up until now. Run man run
yea my ex who was my fiance....undiagnosed BPD....was married prior to us. He was stalking his ex wife at times and I couldn't figure out why. I mean its normal to be curious, I get it. But I encouraged him to go seek closure with her....like hey go write her an email and say "look, im engaged to be married again, but i want to apologize to you for us failing" or whatever it was he was feeling. He acted like "no, i love you, im over the past...no need to reach out" which had me feeling special, right?? omg. when we broke up i found out she had an open case restraining order against him! I read why and was in total shock. My advice? If a person even THINKS they see a red flag.....DO A BACKROUND CHECK. SAVE yourself the hassel and heartache. most BPD ppl lie about the past. they are ill, thetefore claim victim.
This is a crazy 🇲🇦cycle and we are the victims.. I dated a guy with something🤤 he stated that all the women broke up with him (I wonder why?) They were good people(he used) He dated older women even when he was immature. He never in his life had a relationship that last more the a couple months🇲🇦, we lasted almost a year. He loved bombed me🇲🇦 for a couple months it was amazing then started the discard me by puting me down everyway possible 🇲🇦after he started to date his boss behind my back . lol he explained she was crazy because after sleeping with her he discarded her the night after (lol they slept in the same bed, but nothing happened) then later flirted at a funeral 🇲🇦(he finally confessed if he did not go home he would have slept with one of the girls lol) flirted at bar 🇲🇦any chance he could. When I finally broke up with him he told me if I wanted to blame him for our relationship breaking up and make him the bad guy he was fine with that😂😂😂. I was honest, loyal and faithful, but FINALLY called him on his shit. He went out days later and had a rebound 🇲🇦 (he told me he was using her because no one wants to be alone🇲🇦) trust me I am glad to be out, but not dating a while trying to come to terms with the mind fu@× and heal myself. Good luck to you all 👍and watch out for red flags🇲🇦.
Ohhh the lies they tell. I was told his childs mother wasn't feeding his newborn. His son almost died was in an incubater and jaundice. contacted his sons mother who has full custody was granted by the courts to move to another state he isnt allowed ANY privelages. its always the "ex" always. No accountability at all. Sending love!
The reasons you have difficulties letting go is first, you cannot bring yourself to face failure ( which is not your fault ), and second, this failure affects your self-esteem. That is normal, but exhausting. You put too much emphasis on love. You're too good a person to realise that A LOT of people are simply not like you. Society wants us to believe in that true and honest love crap, but it's not in our genes at all. Man are hunter, women don't really know what they want, they just want more. The nicer you are, the more you're going to be treated like shit. I don't hate women, I just know from experience and general observation of others experiences that they are not honest about who they are, and what they want. I'll tell you what they want, it's very very simple, and very obvious ; P-O-W-E-R. That's why some want children. It's a good way to keep a tight grip on their spouse and rule over all. And they're always ready and willing to play the victim when things don't go their way. They are born manipulator. That's their skill of choice, and we all fall for it. Dude, take a year off and look around, do some research and you'll see, it's all a scam to dominate men. Charm 'em, screw 'em, dump 'em, that is their modus operandi. Man up, there's the truth for ya.
Anyone saying BPD is mental illness is completely wrong; personality disorders are not mental illnesses. You're absolutely right that these people have the ability to choose how they treat others, and if they have chosen not to get therapy, they deserve to be shunned.
She did it to the previous bf and they'll do it to the next. I met my Exs Ex Bf who she told me they never argued. he told me a very different account.
Logic and facts don't matter. Who knows wtf the ex's said. They cannot be normal when they rage. They feed off pain and misery. They're in pain and misery so you should be in pain and misery. It could've been a lot worse. A lot worse. You got off easy.
Pretty sure mine lied about her ex boyfriend being dead. She acted all sad all the time if he was ever brought up. Pretty convincing stuff. Later heard from one of her friends he was very much alive. When I confronted her over this she acted "shocked" that he could possibly still be alive and he must have faked his own death to get her to stay away from him lmao. Such BS
I don’t know if this dude still does videos or what but I’m dating a BPD right now and just want someone who understands the situation to talk to. Please if you’re still there let me know so we can talk I got no one to go to to look for advice who understands through first hand experience and has been in a relationship with a BPD woman who has cheated and has at least one Ex partner.
My ex show some sign of bpd I been trying to help her, one thing she doesn’t have suicidal thought like everyone say, she got approval issue from her toxic mother n sister, but she lies all the time, to a point I start catching her lies, and she claim all her ex try to tie her down, she claim that she never have a real relationship, also doesn’t know how to love someone, she mind fk me for 19 months broke up with me (take a break/space) 5 times, all 4 times I reach out becuz I love her then always over promise, like marriage, living together, and her mom likes me out of the blue, when claim her mom want me and her have a kid, then shortly she pull away from me again say hateful things, and then turn around and say how can I put up with her, she said she know she treating me like shit, my mind just so destroy by it, the wk before break up she slept with me hold my hand and say love me and ask me why I m distance from her, then week after she turn around distance from me completely pulled away, then 3 day’s ignored me no txt, no call then 3 min before she go to work she send me the not working anymore she unhappy and say we need to take a break till she figure out, I left her alone, no txt no call, a month later I went to a nice restaurant with family, suddenly I saw she changed her status in relationship with me to single but just only I can see, after I post location where I at, I sure she thinks I dating g someone but I m not ready to see anyone after the abused she done to me, all I can do now is moving forward and leave her behind. This exp, don’t try to help someone to fix their mental issue, they have to want it, if show sign of not trying, move on before it destroy u,
I didnt mention this was not a lie it actually was true. ofcourse he wouldnt do a thing like that to his own child. the lie was HE wasnt feeding his son. the day i heard that from his sons mother i felt like dying over it for his poor son. Projection! disgusting.
Shane Bollenbacher HELL no lol I remember that night actually it was my mom I was pulling into my uncles house lol. The ex She tried to get a hold of me tho some months later Through fb. I blocked her tho
BPD/NPD gfexperience anyways dude, i came across AND watched all your videos tonight... cause im going through some shit.. then you mentioned syracuse.. Im in the middle of this shit.. dude, i dont know if theres a private messanger on yourube or something... get a hold of me. If your locall we got a lot in common..
That sounded so gay.. sorry... just on tough times.. these people are soul reapers.. just would like to actually talk to you more about how you dealt with some of it. .. i think mine is worse.. 16 yrs plus 1 daughter. Im 35 now. Its either leave right now or suffer forever..
yea my ex who was my fiance....undiagnosed BPD....was married prior to us. He was stalking his ex wife at times and I couldn't figure out why. I mean its normal to be curious, I get it. But I encouraged him to go seek closure with her....like hey go write her an email and say "look, im engaged to be married again, but i want to apologize to you for us failing" or whatever it was he was feeling. He acted like "no, i love you, im over the past...no need to reach out" which had me feeling special, right?? omg. when we broke up i found out she had an open case restraining order against him! I read why and was in total shock. My advice? If a person even THINKS they see a red flag.....DO A BACKROUND CHECK. SAVE yourself the hassel and heartache. most BPD ppl lie about the past. they are ill, thetefore claim victim.
Chelsea Deboer you got that right! They are always the victim and lie about their past to make themselves selves the victim! It's sick and twisted but as long as they get their way it's all that matters
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The reason that narcs say that all of the previous people/relationships in their life are "crazy" is for a few reasons:
#1 - The BPD/Narc likely called them crazy in arguments and "crazy" was used as a justification for the discard - this is a common tactic to justify the discard by NPDs.
#2 - If the narc is BPD, the discard event also must include character assassination - the BPD must bring the negative characterization to establish a baseline in case there are any common friends, etc. This justifies slashing tires, withholding custody visits, moving long distances, bankruptcies, etc - its cover and camouflage.
#3 - Both narcs and BPDs use blame shifting - they cannot accept responsibility for their own failures because its too painful. They are always the victim. If the BPD says that the last person was "crazy", you can bet that the last person realized that the BPD was actually crazy and made the accusation, which of course let to the discard.
BPDs use splitting, modeled from the good/bad cognitive dissonance from their own childhood experiences and failed relationship between parents. However, BPDs have a tendency to split with hyper-extreme distances between good/bad, black/white because they have no idea how to self-regulate their own very extreme emotions. This excessive splitting can be extremely dangerous especially when the cops and the legal process gets involved. No-contact is the only and best way. Don't play their game because there are no rules and no limits. If you end up being the "crazy one" in their mind, they can convince anyone, including attorneys and judges that you belong in prison...
There was probably nothing wrong with her exes beyond normal stuff. They just didn't properly play the game, follow the script or were not willing to let chaos be normal, just like you.
Fuck these people No sympathy for the devil
You see this once the FOG ( Fear, Obligation, Guilt ) lifts from what this type does to you! I was scared bc i wanted this to work, i wanted her to be in my life forever as she presented to me in the beginning so i was scared.
BPD/NPD gfexperience I’m so sorry you had to go thru all of this. I hope you find the happiness to deserve. ❤️
they play with love like a 3 year old playing with toys. you have to walk on egg shells to keep the peace. in my experience, she discarded me for the smallest possible thing such as checking/following her Instagram and go on a rampage and be with someone (her plan B) else for a while. after she cooled down, she tried to get me back by endless stalking. they don't love you, they want you to be their emotional punching bag and place all their negativity on you and crush your spirit. They are not capable of love.
D Peiris that's probably one of the best explanations, they love like a three year old. Used as emotional punching bag and mine discarded me for the smalest shit too! No winning wi these types no even compromising with them. they'll use the word love over and over but have no idea how to
In fact, they are stuck at the age where the (C)PTSD caused the BPD. Often, women BPDs (most common) are stuck at an age where they were abused or were discarded by a family member or boyfriend. So, if you can figure out what age the person is acting, you know approximately when the trauma occurred. So, if the BPD regresses to childlike behavior, like storming off and breaking things, it was probably family abuse... If its more like teenager behavior like withholding emotions, touch and more complex behavior, it was probably a early relationship issue that included lots of shame (you fill in the blanks).
Absollutly right ! I had that same one year ago... Greets from Poland !
BPDs often do tell you exactly what they are. We just didnt understand the Disorder.
@ 4:50 to the end THANK YOU!! they have a choice not to fuck up someone's life but they don't. misery loves company.
Julia Hernandez yuppp they have choices ESPECIALLY when they're told they are making us feel like shit and they continue to do it. She would ,give the excuse and say she was sick mentally sick and that's why she is this way. I guess that gives her the excuse to treat me like she did, like shit. And also be able to function normally and treat others nicely. SO ITS A CHOICE
I am divorcing such a woman now..EXACTLY what I went thru for 5 years....5 years!!!!!!!...... people dont get it until they experience being with a borderline on a intimate personal level... they destroy people internally and change the victim of there wrath forever!
Factssss! Same ! 5 years for me as well!!!
@@Joshdifferent I see you in a lot of videos man how badly did she fuck with your mind ?! Also 5 years !!!
I dated a Borderline for less than a month and it was Crazy! They know what they are doing.
They absolutely know what they are doing. Pretending that they can't control themselves is a method to suck you in to "help" them. The craziest ones use their crazy as bait.
Stan Yarbrough Yes! They use it as a tool to get what they want and excuse their nasty selfish behavior.
Like in the case with the poor guy posting this video, the BPD didn't excuse the behavior. She actually and essentially admitted that she is nuts and was looking for him to join her in a co-dependent experience. She moves fast. That tells me that she is really really dangerous. Typically, the love bomb and co-dependent dance takes more than a year.
Stan Yarbrough 2 things that define a Borderline. Abandonement and attention. The two most important things in their life, a fear of someone leaving them and starving for attention.
Also, a Borderline knows stable unstability.
CNXG CrazyNarcissistXGirlfriend yup which mine did totally starved for it! Needed it! Nuts beyond nuts
"It's just mind-fuck beyond belief..." Yep, that sums it up.
Another great channel I have to recommend is AJ Mahari's.. I don't know where I'd be in my own recovery without her videos. She's a therapist who has recovered from BPD/NPD, so her insights and way of explaining what goes on in the heads of the people diagnosed with it are incredibly valuable.
sounds like you still have a lot of anger. I did. once the anger went away, life was better. let her go. move on. she is still in your head. she is still controlling you. you will die trying to reduce her behavior. good luck!
Same in the gay world my friend. Blamed for everything and emotionally ruined. Their behaviour makes them absolute c**ts and until they change it, that’s how they shall be defined. No one has the right to pass judgement on this until they have been through it to the same degree - things happen and you can’t find the words to articulate the level of BS going on. My life has been ruined by such an individual. This is my validation and turning point. Thank you.
YouNeverMay Yeah that’s the thing, people will tell you how dare you, bpd is a disease they can’t help it! But as you said NO ONE, NO ONE has the right to comment unless they’ve been through it. It’s a mental war like no other. And has why I did these videos because watching others videos was a turning point to me and I wanted to add mine to that world. Stay strong my friend! It does get better by taking back your mind and being with yourself.
Yes. People dont understand, because no one who met a BPD/NPDs know what it is. Sorry for my grammar. In polish is diffrent ;)
One great thing you can get out of this relationship. You lived through it. You become stronger. You learn boundaries. You discover that you do have needs too and hopefully you learn to love and respect yourself more. Hopefully this was a wakeup call. Usually people badly hurt by someone with a personality disorder have issues within themselves they need solving. They have very few real boundaries with themselves.
Very true !!!
Man, it's so crazy how clear it all becomes in retrospect..
I was trying to help my ex borderline girlfriend for 9 months never again if you spot a borderline personality disorder woman run!!!!
Amen dude, I fully agree... There's a mental issue, there's minor slip ups and moods that come and go... And then there's intentionally and even sometimes unintentionally continually trying to ruin someone.
Oh dude! It totally is a mind fuck. My ex has put me through absolute hell. I wanted nothing but the best for her, i tried to help her and look after her but I was always the one that was a piece of shit not doing enough. I got so exhausted and withdrawn from it eventually that she started calling me narcissistic, she even had me believing it. I feel so shit about it all because I care deeply about her and would love for her and I to be happy, but she chewed me up and spat me out like I was nothing. It’s miserable to think this of someone I still love, but I curse the day I met her...
I have bpd and I’ve been watching these videos to see from another prospective. I don’t think you need to be sensitive when expressing how much this woman hurt you and abused you. However I’d just like to express that having bpd doesn’t inherently mean you will be abusive to others. Anyone and everyone can be abusive and generalizing those with bpd as “people who will ruin your life” is quite judgmental. Generalizations aren’t always factual. I spent a good few years very ill and I did things I am not proud of, I had things done to me that really fucked with my head. At that point in my life I honestly can say I couldn’t control my emotions but I did feel awful about it. I did feel so much guilt towards my way of reacting to those closest to me. And I was hospitalized for hating the way I was because I truly felt like a monster. I had awareness but lacked the ability to change. Drs even stopped admitting me since they explained medication can’t fix bpd. I was begging for help and had to wait 2 years for a dbt course that specializes in treating bpd. And I’m fortunate enough to have universal health care in my country so I don’t have to worry about cost. My point I guess is, while I do agree and am learning from these videos it can also be beneficial to understand one does not equal all. And those with bpd can and do get better if they have access to dbt, treatment for ptsd if needed and a good support system.
Even if I don’t agree with some specific statements in your videos. I do appreciate you making them and hope they have brought you some closure
You're 100% right. No excuses for these monsters.
After a BPD relationship, you can take like a 5 year monogamy break. Like minimum, it's not about thinking all women are bad, it's personal burnout. The best women still require your time, a BPD mentality drains you of years.
Yes. Just was in a relationship for 5 years
mate! you are helping me a lot in a period of depression im 24 and every video to some extent replays some sort of flashback I had with my bpd ex! when she was down and her dad abandoned her I was there with her and guess what she abandoned me! told me she loved me and i was the best thing ever, day after she ghosted...
This video helped me to realize that I suffer from BPD and my narcissistic tendencies, very mild if any. Thank you for posting your truth it helped me find mine. In turn it has saved my marriage.
Told me she suspected her ex was a serial killer! Now it seems laughable. But also told lies about me. The sickest thing is to really love someone and then you realize they were incepable.
More power to you man, great message!
The other common thing I've noticed when they talk about past relationships is that they will almost always frame it in such a way that it gives the impression that they were the victim in every scenario.. and that's a huge red flag.The girl I dated with BPD was addicted to her own sense of victimhood and tried to play that card in pretty much every scenario imaginable.
that was the first female i ever dated with npd .it was like being in a horror movie
Miley L well my best friend who was around my ex one time .gave me a heart felt apologize and I accepted it me and him have known each other for since we where 5 years old.im not around toxic people anymore when you realize you where with a narcasstic person who could be sociapath as well when you get away from them .your eyes are opened. For me I realized I was around a lot of toxic people .give you example when I was hurting bad I heard people tell people to get over it .why the f would I be with someone like that .its stupid and your filled with stupidity for all the times you went back to your ex.and I heard from someone they told me their mustve been something f up inside me that made me stay with my ex on and off for two years.thats not my friends. Friends and family who love you will support you.those other people will never be apart of my life again.im working on my codependency issuies .I can say no without feeling guilty about and dont need to explain myself anymore.im very happy TH-cam Is filled with all these people who explain everything that a narcasstic person does .I'm not 100 healed .I thank god that he got me away from my ex in 2017
Hello, I am 60 years old and just want you to know that I enjoy watching your videos because of how well you express yourself and your emotions. You are obviously an very intelligent, compassionate, normal man who walked into crazy town. Except it wasn’t labeled Crazy Town.
I think BPD people have a way of choosing the most caring and compassionate and sane people. Maybe they know that you won’t call B.S. immediately because you are so compassionate. The sad part is that they take your best qualities - caring, selflessness, ability to love, humanity, sense of responsibility, and use those great qualities to ensnare you.
With the right person, a normal person, those qualities would make you a great partner and help make your relationship a success. But now you have to second guess your every instinct. You are literally living in an upside down world where good is bad and bad is good.
You are so interesting to watch. If you were in movies, I would love watching them. You have such a sincere and real quality.
If someone came at you with a knife, you would know how to react and understand it. But when someone comes at you with love, but it turns out they are slowly killing you, abusing you, and destroying your soul, it makes no sense whatsoever. We are not equipped or designed to deal with this.
Thank you so much for sharing yourself with us. Hearing someone talk so openly about their experience is so incredibly healing, because learning that we were all in the same crazy town together makes us feel sane again. It WASN’T us - it really WAS them. It really restores our trust in our own instincts and our own sense of reality to hear other stories just like ours.
It’s also so uncanny how similar these stories are. Restraining order??? Against ME? That’s totally backwards! I would never hurt anyone! Twisting reality and the truth right before your eyes. Blaming you for everything. Oh yeah, part of it was your dog’s fault. Your scheming, mastermind of a dog.
You are a beautiful person, inside and out, and I just wanted you to know that.
i really appreciate this, thank you so much for those kind words. im glad it was a good listen for you, i just wanted to share what happened because it is a situation that no many understand. it is straight from the heart, raw and no planning, so im glad you felt it that way. thank you again, it means a lot.
Man, you should check out Paul Elam's youtube channel An Ear For Men.. he's got some really great and informative vids about BPD there that you might benefit from seeing (plus he's no bullshit about this stuff and delivers his clinical perspective with incredible humor and levity), amongst other really great videos about the f-ed up dynamics of the modern male-female relationship paradigm in general and how to navigate them or avoid the major hurdles altogether. I don't think you're wrong at all for telling people to stay away from people with these personality disorders.. it's not that there aren't people who legitimately suffer from them but they KNOW better than to enter into relationships with other people without full disclosure ahead of time. I honestly believe that a lot of the people who claim to have these disorders are just sadists and sociopaths, period. I even know a girl who was diagnosed with BPD and fully recovered with the proper therapy, so I don't buy into the idea that it's incurable at all. I agree totally, there's nothing wrong with a person having certain issues but if they are not at least in some kind of dialectical cognitive behavior therapy on the regular and working on it then they should be completely steered clear of as any kind of potential partner or even as a friend in certain cases. People who have not been subjected to this kind of manipulative mind-fucking in a relationship are rarely, if ever, able to truly understand the nature of it and how it can really screw with a victim's healthy sense of self and identity. I'm actually amazed that people can recover to the degree they are able to sometimes and then continue to date or function the same as before in relationships. It really does a number on our ability to trust.
I'm 6 months out of a relationship with someone like this and still struggling with not blaming myself. It's a total and complete mind fuck. I can't even imagine what she's done in 6 months to other people or with other people.
It's interesting that BPD tend to attract good people who support and are there for them. What happens when they meet someone who doesn't care and start beating on them?
Crazy watching videos on this shit that came out before I even met her.. Damn if I was only more informed before getting into it I wouldn’t be where I am now. But fuck it.. Lesson learnt and I ain’t ever getting fooled twice
You caught on quick, after thinking about things. Why would they all say it's her fault, unless it was? Things don't make sense that the narcissist says, but sometimes it takes a long time for people to pick up on what is really happening. There is a negative undercurrent taking place.
Your ex sounds like a female version of an abusive roommate I had for 3 years - after separating from my borderline wife. Neither of them took responsibility for anything!!!! Thanks for sharing your experience. I agree totally with you.
Can’t believe the Lords Fucking prayer from these BPDs! Run man run and Never look back! These types of ppl don’t give a damn who they hurt what they do it’s all everyone else’s fault but theirs! Yep it’s all about them! My ex was my friend from 12 became involved at 14. My mom broke us up and my ex became this ....BPD. Found me 26 years later and took me on a ride to hell. Discarded me in 2015 and now has been stalking me right up until now. Run man run
yea my ex who was my fiance....undiagnosed BPD....was married prior to us. He was stalking his ex wife at times and I couldn't figure out why. I mean its normal to be curious, I get it. But I encouraged him to go seek closure with her....like hey go write her an email and say "look, im engaged to be married again, but i want to apologize to you for us failing" or whatever it was he was feeling. He acted like "no, i love you, im over the past...no need to reach out" which had me feeling special, right?? omg. when we broke up i found out she had an open case restraining order against him! I read why and was in total shock. My advice? If a person even THINKS they see a red flag.....DO A BACKROUND CHECK. SAVE yourself the hassel and heartache. most BPD ppl lie about the past. they are ill, thetefore claim victim.
This is a crazy 🇲🇦cycle and we are the victims.. I dated a guy with something🤤 he stated that all the women broke up with him (I wonder why?) They were good people(he used) He dated older women even when he was immature. He never in his life had a relationship that last more the a couple months🇲🇦, we lasted almost a year. He loved bombed me🇲🇦 for a couple months it was amazing then started the discard me by puting me down everyway possible 🇲🇦after he started to date his boss behind my back . lol he explained she was crazy because after sleeping with her he discarded her the night after (lol they slept in the same bed, but nothing happened) then later flirted at a funeral 🇲🇦(he finally confessed if he did not go home he would have slept with one of the girls lol) flirted at bar 🇲🇦any chance he could. When I finally broke up with him he told me if I wanted to blame him for our relationship breaking up and make him the bad guy he was fine with that😂😂😂. I was honest, loyal and faithful, but FINALLY called him on his shit. He went out days later and had a rebound 🇲🇦 (he told me he was using her because no one wants to be alone🇲🇦) trust me I am glad to be out, but not dating a while trying to come to terms with the mind fu@× and heal myself. Good luck to you all 👍and watch out for red flags🇲🇦.
Ohhh the lies they tell. I was told his childs mother wasn't feeding his newborn. His son almost died was in an incubater and jaundice. contacted his sons mother who has full custody was granted by the courts to move to another state he isnt allowed ANY privelages. its always the "ex" always. No accountability at all. Sending love!
nodoubtmusicgx 1986 thank you very much for your comments. I’m glad the videos have helped and our words are appreciated!!
The reasons you have difficulties letting go is first, you cannot bring yourself to face failure ( which is not your fault ), and second, this failure affects your self-esteem. That is normal, but exhausting. You put too much emphasis on love. You're too good a person to realise that A LOT of people are simply not like you. Society wants us to believe in that true and honest love crap, but it's not in our genes at all. Man are hunter, women don't really know what they want, they just want more. The nicer you are, the more you're going to be treated like shit. I don't hate women, I just know from experience and general observation of others experiences that they are not honest about who they are, and what they want. I'll tell you what they want, it's very very simple, and very obvious ; P-O-W-E-R. That's why some want children. It's a good way to keep a tight grip on their spouse and rule over all. And they're always ready and willing to play the victim when things don't go their way. They are born manipulator. That's their skill of choice, and we all fall for it. Dude, take a year off and look around, do some research and you'll see, it's all a scam to dominate men. Charm 'em, screw 'em, dump 'em, that is their modus operandi. Man up, there's the truth for ya.
Anyone saying BPD is mental illness is completely wrong; personality disorders are not mental illnesses. You're absolutely right that these people have the ability to choose how they treat others, and if they have chosen not to get therapy, they deserve to be shunned.
She did it to the previous bf and they'll do it to the next. I met my Exs Ex Bf who she told me they never argued. he told me a very different account.
Thank you for sharing it helps so much
❤️❤️❤️
Logic and facts don't matter. Who knows wtf the ex's said. They cannot be normal when they rage. They feed off pain and misery. They're in pain and misery so you should be in pain and misery. It could've been a lot worse. A lot worse. You got off easy.
3:14 The Walking Dead? Love that intro music.
wow, that all sounds too familiar
Should’ve let the Walking Dead song play through.
Did she tell her therapist she wanted to watch you hold your dead dog? Damn seems like a guarenteed 48 in hutchinson(syracuse)
Pretty sure mine lied about her ex boyfriend being dead. She acted all sad all the time if he was ever brought up. Pretty convincing stuff. Later heard from one of her friends he was very much alive. When I confronted her over this she acted "shocked" that he could possibly still be alive and he must have faked his own death to get her to stay away from him lmao. Such BS
I don’t know if this dude still does videos or what but I’m dating a BPD right now and just want someone who understands the situation to talk to. Please if you’re still there let me know so we can talk I got no one to go to to look for advice who understands through first hand experience and has been in a relationship with a BPD woman who has cheated and has at least one Ex partner.
Logan Sławomir haven’t done a video in some time, but I am still here. Feel free to email me. Guidice00@yahoo
BPD/NPD gfexperience just seen your message now so sorry, I will email you straight away thank you so much
Hey bro im here for you. Just got got out of a 2 yr relationship with this.
@@soundoflegend9854 what's your email
My ex show some sign of bpd I been trying to help her, one thing she doesn’t have suicidal thought like everyone say, she got approval issue from her toxic mother n sister, but she lies all the time, to a point I start catching her lies, and she claim all her ex try to tie her down, she claim that she never have a real relationship, also doesn’t know how to love someone, she mind fk me for 19 months broke up with me (take a break/space) 5 times, all 4 times I reach out becuz I love her then always over promise, like marriage, living together, and her mom likes me out of the blue, when claim her mom want me and her have a kid, then shortly she pull away from me again say hateful things, and then turn around and say how can I put up with her, she said she know she treating me like shit, my mind just so destroy by it, the wk before break up she slept with me hold my hand and say love me and ask me why I m distance from her, then week after she turn around distance from me completely pulled away, then 3 day’s ignored me no txt, no call then 3 min before she go to work she send me the not working anymore she unhappy and say we need to take a break till she figure out, I left her alone, no txt no call, a month later I went to a nice restaurant with family, suddenly I saw she changed her status in relationship with me to single but just only I can see, after I post location where I at, I sure she thinks I dating g someone but I m not ready to see anyone after the abused she done to me, all I can do now is moving forward and leave her behind. This exp, don’t try to help someone to fix their mental issue, they have to want it, if show sign of not trying, move on before it destroy u,
my ex was npd it was mind f all the patterns and the abuse and they are nuts
My ex told me all her ex where crazy
how can i contact you man, email or something, i have exactly the same situation and i need to talk to you in private.
guidice00@yahoo.com. Feel free to email anytime, i'd love to help anyway i can.
Shit made you crazy my nigga she was mentally ill move on. Im in the same boat with Nicole lets just move on bro.
I didnt mention this was not a lie it actually was true. ofcourse he wouldnt do a thing like that to his own child. the lie was HE wasnt feeding his son. the day i heard that from his sons mother i felt like dying over it for his poor son. Projection! disgusting.
Did you notice always the sad story
About the life they lived
So much harm was done on them
Poor me poor me
Poor nothings they lies
Believe it or not child abuse can cause the onset of borderline personality disorder, therefore said sad story is not always a lie.
The lucky One Always a pity party for BPD/N's.
Agree that exactly my husband 😢😔
Yes yes
I heard your phone. "Walking Dead" was that your ex?
Shane Bollenbacher HELL no lol I remember that night actually it was my mom I was pulling into my uncles house lol. The ex She tried to get a hold of me tho some months later Through fb. I blocked her tho
Shes from 315? Haha i wathched your whole 4 part. Go figure... i live here.. crazy monster b1tches!! Was she a scene girl btw?
Nick. Bombard hahaha yup 315! Scene girl ? I’m not sure I know what that means lol
One of the local tatooed hard/metal girls..
BPD/NPD gfexperience anyways dude, i came across AND watched all your videos tonight... cause im going through some shit.. then you mentioned syracuse.. Im in the middle of this shit.. dude, i dont know if theres a private messanger on yourube or something... get a hold of me. If your locall we got a lot in common..
That sounded so gay.. sorry... just on tough times.. these people are soul reapers.. just would like to actually talk to you more about how you dealt with some of it. .. i think mine is worse.. 16 yrs plus 1 daughter. Im 35 now. Its either leave right now or suffer forever..
Nick. Bombard shoot me an email guidice00@yahoo
There used to be a private messenger thing on TH-cam but I think they did away with it.
yea my ex who was my fiance....undiagnosed BPD....was married prior to us. He was stalking his ex wife at times and I couldn't figure out why. I mean its normal to be curious, I get it. But I encouraged him to go seek closure with her....like hey go write her an email and say "look, im engaged to be married again, but i want to apologize to you for us failing" or whatever it was he was feeling. He acted like "no, i love you, im over the past...no need to reach out" which had me feeling special, right?? omg. when we broke up i found out she had an open case restraining order against him! I read why and was in total shock. My advice? If a person even THINKS they see a red flag.....DO A BACKROUND CHECK. SAVE yourself the hassel and heartache. most BPD ppl lie about the past. they are ill, thetefore claim victim.
Chelsea Deboer you got that right! They are always the victim and lie about their past to make themselves selves the victim! It's sick and twisted but as long as they get their way it's all that matters