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I just listened to every minute of this, and wanted to wait until the end to comment. I don’t know you, but I am so glad you got sober. I am so glad you’re still here. And I am so incredibly thankful you shared this story. I found your channel last year sometime, I’m sure it was magically suggested to me by the algorithm gods. I’m not normally much of a commenter, but I thought you are a fantastic storyteller and I appreciated your channel. Today, though, I have to comment because you just touched my heart and I want you to to know that I am invested in this story and can’t wait to hear the end. My little brother was an iv meth user for over 15 years. We were also from a small town, but from a prominent family. Everyone in town knew him, he’d go into meth induced psychosis and be found talking to traffic lights, or call me terrified that there were demons coming through the vents. He was in and out of jail and rehab every 6 months or so for over a decade. In between, he’d go back to live with my parents, who were convinced the only solution was Jesus. When things would get too crazy, they alternated between sticking him in Christian rehabs or kicking him out. At one point, when he was fresh out of jail, and clean, I took him into the house with my own family, gave him a place to stay. My husband got him a good job. It was all good, until he fell off the rails again, hard. This time he put me in fear for my children’s lives, and I put him in jail. Within 6 months, I’d moved a state away without leaving a forwarding address. I cut off contact with my family because it was the best and only solution I could see to be able to raise my kids in a safe and healthy environment. There’s 4 decades of trauma and abuse to unpack there, so I won’t go into all that here. But I’d do it again in a heartbeat, because it was absolutely for the best for all of us. Shortly after we moved, I got word that my brother had gotten out of jail early and was back living with our parents. Shortly after that, I heard he was back on drugs. (Small town gossip still persists even 400 miles away!) A year or so after that, in 2022, I got the phone call that he had ended his own life. I never called. I couldn’t reinsert myself and my kids into that chaos. My parents never called me, they didn’t even give him a funeral. They didn’t write him an obituary. It has been over 5 years since I have spoken to either of my parents, and everything about my brothers death is still a mystery to me. They were the only other ones there at the time, so I’ll probably never know what truly happened, and I have had to learn to be okay with that. I still have a whole lot of feelings about all of it, which therapy helped tremendously with. More than anything, I wish that I-or anyone else-would have been there to take the gun away the way your boyfriend pulled you off the tracks. On the other hand, I’m not sure he would ever have gotten sober. I know he lived in a mental hell, so much of what you just described reminded me so much of him. I said all that to say this-I am SO THANKFUL that you are sharing your story. Regardless of what I had to do to protect myself and my family, I never stopped loving my brother. I will never get to know what a life with him sober and happy in it would have looked like, but it gives me so much happiness to know that someone with such a similar story-seriously, a few of the parallels moved me to tears-has come out the other side and stayed there for nearly a decade. I’m just a stranger on the internet, but know that I am SO PROUD of you!!! Congratulations on your sobriety, and thank you so much for sharing on this platform! I’ve thought about making videos about my story, but so far haven’t had the courage. I can’t wait to hear the rest of your story!

Heavy, thanks for sharing

I just found the subreddit for meth and it's a sad read. It's so normalized there and it's so hard to talk sense to people that deep into addiction. They're normalizing it to each other online and feeling supported and justified for their use.

You're a recovering choose not to do it person because there's no such a thing as a can't help it addicted person. Congratulations for making a strong choice

Wjat depression felt like for me personally, was like the person you love more than amyone just died, and the loss and grief hit you over and over. You are THAT sad, but NOTHING is wrong, its the worst feeling in the world. And I was truly grieving, i would go out into nature, and omg, it would get worse. Nothing helped, and what made it worse was thinking there was no help for this. I simply woke up one morning amd felt HORRIBLE. Emotionally wrecked. Everything was going GREAT in my life. New apartment, new city, love of my life, then BAM. Suffered though it for a year, my fiance couldnt do anything but watch me cry. He stuck it out w me knowing he wasn't to blame in anyway, it killed him, which made me more sad. It definitely drains your energy. A year later, I woke up, and it was gone!! I always said if it ever happened again, I would end it. NO WAY I would want to feel like that for even an hour, its absolutely horrible

im glad you mentioned there is a good n bad side...we wouldnt have taken drugs if they didnt do something good in the moment

I've started hallucinating from being awake only 24 hours from caffeine so I really can't imagine what it would be like to stay awake several weeks at a time.... must be a real mind bender.

I commend you for making this video on such a personal topic as this. I rarely tell anyone anymore that I was using meth for 10 months because all of the sudden they tend look down on you. You can sense it. But that’s just their own weakness of character and insecurity. A lot of them just want to feel superior to you and will grasp at anything to attain that false sense of superiority over you and your past mistakes. It’s petty, yes, and they’re a bag of chips because of it.

When you are on SPEED you LIKE the smell of SMOG and SKUNKS !!!

The "euphoria" from speed is INSANE ! Nothing better !! And it will kill you in NO time.

Meth "culture" !! Sounds so sophisticated !

Demonic

This was a tough one. But I wanna say thank you for sharing. You stories inspire me to remain sober.

You are spot on. I was a heavy alcoholic for almost 10 years but also got really deep into smoking and snorting shit for about 3, first few times I tried it I hated it but its almost like the shit rewires your brain, the culture and trap house shit was very dark and fucked up, there were some people like me that were just mellow somewhat regular people who just so happened to use the shit but those people that got into slamming always seemed to get into the fucked up crimes and were scary to be around, etc. A lot of selfishness in the meth world, the bar world was fucked up and dark too just in different ways.

I remember the voices too. I'm 10 months clean from meth. Oh man this video brings back so many crazy memories. Jesus delivered me from my 20 year addiction ❤ ALL THE GLORY TO HIS NAME, KING JESUS ❤ I will never go back to something God delivered me from.

Thank you… you have helped me understand my husband’s perspective . 7 years , relapsed we have been together 6 years and the last few months he’s been such a different person accusing me of cheating and he knows I wouldn’t . I came home to see he’s put more cameras around the house and when I asked if something was up after him doing the same repetitive behavior for 4 hours that he done the day before for 3 hours he picked a fight and left. The week before that he took me out of town for my birthday got me a beautiful $400 necklace saying I’ll love you forever. Then a week later I asked a simple question about the cameras and the fact he’s sharpend the same knife for 7 hours total he took off blocked me. He showed up a week later outside playing with our dog that he deeply loves sent me a video of the dog and him giving a sad face. I believe he was expecting me to come outside but I was so frustrated i couldn’t with all the awful things he called me and accused me of. I haven’t blocked him because if he need help or maybe apologize come clean, I’m still currently blocked and his mom has asked I pack all his things that he’s saying he’s done. I mentioned to her how off character he seemed, they haven’t picked up his tings but it’s now been a week that I haven’t heard from anyone. My heart says meth, what else could it be he was borderline obsessed with me that I never said but it almost felt uncomfortable the way he could get to hating me.

i spent literally hours looking for meth shards on my coffee table . The Scary part I had not used very much at all maybe one fifth of one 10 th of gram .

The thumbnail looks like a witchcraft video

Hello Jackie, dear. I've been watching your videos over the past few years, and have a few heart-felt comments on this one. First, you have reason to be optimistic about this particular project you're taking on (both dealing with your stash and not adding to it), because you HAVE DONE HARD THINGS BEFORE! xoxo. Second, you have a pretty good, specific plan for not adding to the stash, now you need a plan for tackling the garage. And because I am old, experienced in a variety of things, and have a knack for organization and process, I would have a lot of tips for you. But I'll refrain because I don't know what you need. Do you have trouble getting started? Sticking with it for an hour? Sticking with it day after day? Do you find making decisions difficult? Do you have weird unexplained emotions while working on the pile that make you want to just shut the door? (PS I'm not a therapist but I'm old and experienced.... see above). Do you get sidetracked? Do you move things from place to place over and over? Anyhoo you get the idea. If there any particular struggles you have I'd be happy to offer suggestions to try. on a side note, not knowing exactly who your other core audience members are... tackling a project like this and sharing your progress, successes and failures with us, is not really "business" content it's "life" content because there are lessons in taming that pile and we'd like to learn them too. Best wishes, dear, and ... you got this. xoxo

damn grateful every day to escape the tweakerzone keep on being sober honey

Please never stop posting you are an inspiration

I hate tweakers not a good thing about them they thrive on chaos

Finally some one with an intact heart after the walk through hell.

Thank you for sharing your story. Congratulations on your sobriety. You are helping so many people.your testimony is powerful

Lots of great advice, hope you’re doing well!! 🙏❤️

Don't trust the tree people... I definitely relate to everything you said.

I like you. We all have a past. We are all constantly changing. You are not your past. You are who you are in this moment. If you were now who you were back then, then we’d be experiencing a very different version of you.

Thank you for sharing❤

Thankyou for telling your story . I am currently trying to stop using but I'm struggling and hearing ur story is inspiring and g Ives me hope. I know I'm so much more than my addiction. Congratulations on getting your life back on track I wish you all the best for the future. You're amazing and again. Thankyou

Ill be honest, I currently use meth. Mostly smoke, occassionally snort. I will say from experience that the negative aspects of the meth world (which this video is pretty accurate about) doesnt have so much to do with the drug itself, but all the bs around it. The stigma, the connotation, the shady situations, etc. How about society quits doing an automatic judgment of meth and meth users and drop the stigma and bullshit. No matter what you think of it, in principle its no different than any other drug. It might be stronger, etc. and we can split hairs about the details, but at heart, a drug is a drug. If you are a rich stock broker on wall street and sniff coke everyday, you are no different and have the exact same problem as any homeless meth abuser on the street, when it comes to the level of the soul (the deepest level). And while Im at it, Ill say anybody who frequents a bar everyday or has too many beers everyday is the same too. And again, when i say "same", its at the deepest level, the deepest problem. Its so funny to me how snobby people get. Calling me a "meth head" meanwhile Im sure they have zero problem getting drunk at the bar. Hypocrites. Every single god damn one of them.

Watch Yellowstone... It's the southern and mid west states where white biker gangs and meth heads use it like Russian use vodka.....

Thanks for sharing this...I pray you have a beautiful life moving forward.

Meth is disgusting.

So true

You are a beautiful person! This is the second video of yours that I’m watching.

I wanted to first of all say, God bless you. This testimony as hard as it was to recall will help save lives. I too have experienced meth psychosis and I have recovered a year and 2 months now only by the grace of God. I am gonna take addiction counseling course to help others that are in the darkness. Your video helped fuel my passion to keep on helping. God bless!

Picks apart entertainment center Wut are u looking for? I dont know but I'll know when I find it 😂

I know some sober ppl who are like that 😂

I feel those that were morally bankrupt were already that way before the meth. I know people who used who never lost their decency.

You are tell truth i use be on meth yes its hard. I know god is with me

'Promo sm' 🔥

Thank you so much. Your insight in invaluable. Your story matters. Your recovery in incredibly inspirational. Thank you for loving you enough to recover so that I had the absolute honor to hear your story. Love & Light

I totally hear you about not shaming people, and I have a ton of respect for you putting yourself out there. In your opinion, why does society not seem to learn its lesson that these harder drugs never really lead to good outcomes? Anyway, isn’t there some kind of difference between someone who gets cancer and someone who chooses to live an unhealthy life? Anyway thanks for the great content!

my experience with meth culture was... in isolation while looking at porn for hours on end. smh. Was a disgusting and demonic experience. don't miss it other than the initial rush of course. but that's the lie that demon uses to get you back

Insane

Ive been doing meth and crack daily for 30 years . I have one rule smoke alone. Never share never mix with anyone and don't talk to anyone at anytime for any reason ever . You will have more to smoke and a peace of mind . You can be high and happy

One of the best explanatory informative pieces I have encountered. You did not make a fool of yourself. Keep providing info!

It’s more like sleep deprivation psychosis as a result of staying up for days on meth. If you could somehow make yourself stay awake for a week while constantly running around doing useless shit while using no drugs, you would experience the same psychosis.

Were you in kc?

Thanks for sharing