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Bodylanguage is easy, if you bought the right book and leaned the right things.

Thanks for this. Waiting for my ASD assessment. Any advice on what to do when friends don't return your messages?

I was diagnosed with severe ocd onset age 7 then bpd and now my GP thinks I may be on the spectrum and advised me to seek a private assessment. It's like a light bulb going off right now watching this, Thank you x

This is my first video of yours. I'm stunned at how accurately you've described my experiences. You had me at the beginning when you talked about the stages of friendship, knowing what they are, but not understanding where you are in the stages. Like you, I meet someone, geek connected and then share/dump on them all of my deepest feelings. I'm 66, a retired F. And, i struggle with understanding how someone could need others in their life because of COURSE I should be their end all and be all! (sarcasm). Then I feel rejected. That's something I completely obsess about. The last little thing causes me to feel rejected. Thank you so much for this video.

I know exactly how you feel in every way.

This hurt to watch! This helped me to understand my struggles with socializing even when on the surface I seem to be really good at it.

I found this to be well-organized, clearly articulated and informative - I appreciate your insight.

I can relate so much to this! I'm struggling to make friends and always have. During childhood I felt so left out in school and I didn't know how to connect to people. I wasn't interested in talking about the same things and I've realized I was dissociating because I had issues with eye contact and to talk to strangers. It's very hard for me to feel safe. It feels like everyone's judging me. I think that's the black and white thinking. I felt rejected because I was so different.

Omg-im 57 and have never had anyone describe ME LIKE THIS BEFORE.

Very informative video. Im also autistic, but a guy, these are all true. Decided to subscribe to your channel!! Thanks for sharing!

I so appreciate you didnt edit out the part where im pretty sure you forgot what you were saying and had a few different facial expresssions and im so glad i noticed because it was really validating as I do this and usually im embarrassed. Also yes to wanting to punch people.

more then special friend ? 🤣🤭🤫😉😘

great video! I'd love to hear more thoughts on interpersonal stuff like how you feel about breaking into a current conversation. I'm often meek and that leads to people talking over me

Yeah, I remember when I tried seeking diagnosis, I was told “I don’t think you have autism because you want friends.” That was so frustrating.

I think it’s easier to make friends when you surround yourself with others who share your special interests. One expression that I find helpful is that sometimes people are friends for a reason, a season, a lifetime. So you might have some people who are friends with you because you’re all going through a situation and so you bond for that reason. These people may or may not evolve into a deeper friendship. Then there are others who share something for a long time. A good example is moms in the neighbourhood who have children the same age. If there are other common interests, those friendships may evolve. But if there isn’t other commonalities, then when your children graduate and move away, the mom groups often dissolve. This is friendship for a season. Either of the first two groups or even random people who don’t seem to have anything in common can become a lifetime friend. These ones are rare. These are the people you can call at 3:00 am and they will answer the phone. Those friends are one or two in a lifetime. Neurotypical people tend to call everyone friends but those people are more likely acquaintances, reasons and seasons people. Neuro-diverse people are only really interested in the lifetime type, the kind who don’t even feel like people, the kind you can sit in silence with. So I keep the phrase reasons, seasons and lifetime in my head. That way, I’m less often offended by the shallowness of a conversation. Some people go to deep conversations quickly, those are more likely to be the lifetime people.

🤔hmmm how to make friends when you involuntarily make people feel inferior... too many don't want to grow and learn.

Mmmm pass. I'm good.

I can absolutely read people so far as if they're sheisty or unsafe, but do I have a clue if they think I'm cool or want to be my friend? Hell no, not a bit. As long as I'm outside looking in, and not a part of the interaction, I can read intentions and all that stuff so accurately. Maybe in my case part of my issue is how much thought I have to put into being in the interaction that I miss everything else.

On body language: When everyone around you is Daft Punk.

08:01 Darcey Lauren: I'm sorry, I didn't know we had an Open Friendship???

I followed the recommendation for this video after watching "autism and pretty privilege" by Of Herbs and Altars and honestly it's like the perfect double-feature, you both make such great points. I can't quite relate to some of it, I'm an only child with no cousins I got along well with so I had no one to help me make friends, and as a result I have never really had any female friends...and basically every male friend, especially when I was younger (late teen to mid twenties) turned out to be textbook "nice guys" just hanging around hoping I'd someday have sex with them. I'm almost 40 now and I keep telling myself I've given up on forming friendships with people who couldn't possibly be interested in having sex with me, but then I'll get along really well with a woman at a nightclub or convention or something, we'll exchange numbers and promise to hang out again soon, but then...I'm always the one doing any of the texting, and getting them to agree to go out to an event together (my house is too chaotic to have people over until I know they won't mind the noise and mess) or to even reply to my texts at all just sucks all the joy and energy out of my attempt at forging that friendship, and so I go back to not even trying. And even if I had the energy to keep trying to reach out, I've been burned too many times by being told I'm "annoying" so of course if they don't enthusiastically agree to hang out with me at my first asking, then clearly it's a sign that they were just being nice and don't actually have any desire to be friends with me so why don't I just take the hint and stop trying...(: Sorry that turned into a long rant, lol. just wanted to say, excellent video, and I look forward to watch more of yours!

THERE ARE LEVELS?!?! this would explain why I'm 30yo and completely alone..

I’ve always been passive with making friends. I never engaged in asking someone to be my friend, I just kinda waited for people to come ask me to be their friend. I’ve never been great at socializing so I just left friendship up to others so I didn’t accidentally screw it up. I’ve always been ‘the introvert adopted by a friend group of extroverts’ type of friend and I’m okay with that

I always assume i am NOT anyones friend unless i get explicit confirmation. I'm terrified to make that mistake again! Its much safer to be alone😂

I love the self awareness! Though I don't particularly enjoy the fact that autistic individuals are forced into this self awareness. I am autistic and have realized that I had to grow up faster than my peers in order to appropriately integrate into society.

Thank you for this video! I can relate to a lot of this - especially wanting just one friend who doesn't have any other friends. I didn't realise other people had this issue!

Wow 😲 me I have 14 since 2017 to present:) The rest is still unwritten ❤️ 📚

That could have been me talking. That was the most relatable video for me on TH-cam.

I totally relate to this! Thanks for giving words to this challenging topic.

I can't have friends because I'm worthless autistic garbage and I hate associating with other 'neurodivergent' abortions.

Thank you so much!

As a woman just recently diagnosed with autism, I totally relate. You video is an honest, truthful experience. Thanks for sharing.

this is how I knew I found my best friend. we met online and two weeks later we were neckdeep in the trenches of our past trauma. he's autistic and I'm audhd.

struggling soo hard with building new friendships in college right now. the only friends I have are my girlfriend and my best friend, and they're both autistic. i'm trying my best to reach out to these two guys that I have classes with but it's difficult. I'm very nervous about going too fast and scaring them off because it's happened a lot in the past.

Thank you for this video. If you haven’t discovered Saga Johanna you may enjoy her channel.

I always screw up friendships for not knowing the stages we are in. Now, i just stay in the most shallow stage to protect myself. I don't want to share anything about me anymore.

Women cannot have autism. Dumb video.

Why does everyone in this young generation think they have autism?

Fern Brady was so right. Hearing upperclass coddled women talk autism feels so hollow. After being abandoned by my mother as a child(as so many autistic boys are), having to physically fend off for myself again and again, spending half of my adult life on the brink of homelessness, having the rug pulled from under again and again, having almost all I have stolen by a woman who said she loved me listening to Patricia complain about how she's oppressed because she can't openly be obsessed with horses drives me crazy.

Thank you for sharing this valuable information. You are a brave young woman. Peace.

Matthew 19:26 But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

oh god.. i'm 39 and what you said along 11 to 12min, about wether be total friend or get away because don't know if they like you resonates so well with me! tks for sharing

I got forty one diaries

Thank you Lauren for sharing your personal experience, about building relationship, authenticity, emotional regulation and various ways to communicate your intent to connect with people around you. I am a pediatric intervention provider, your platform is an opportunity for me to support neurodivergent clients as they navigate social relationship, including differences in social gestures or body language but not setting aside their individuality. You are such as unique and transparent person.I would like to hear and learn from you.

Should we be in friendships ? I don't respect anybody whos not me but I respect them enough to stay away from them . God forbid a girl friend . Could it be just me ? ( Yes I am a beautiful snow flake.)

I hate where it says "must have 'good' body language" when talking to others - who decides what that is? Whether body language is perceived as 'good' or 'bad' can vary depending on the situation, culture of the person you are talking to and whether they are neurotypical or not. Kind of reads like 'you should make yourself uncomfortable to make neurotypicals feel comfortable".

Well done girls! I was diagnosed in May of this year - at age 65!

You make so much sense to me

Vibes!