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So your brother says his girlfriend is just being honest. That suggests he agrees with his girlfriend’s opinions. Why do you want him around disrespecting your wife also. If you give into his nonsense now, the abuse will only continue. Also, if your parents can’t see the disrespect this two are dishing out perhaps just distance yourself from family get togethers. Start your own family traditions.

I know someone that does that in nearly every gathering, on topics they know little to nothing about. You did the right thing. NTA. You stood up for yourself.

Should have cleared the air after the second comment

NTA. You should have put her in her place at the first comment. Nerer should have allowed the second without getting in her face big time. Who is she, entitled, judgemental.

1. A girlfriend is not a wife. Family gatherings don't need to include people who may or may not be replaced. Until she has a ring on her finger she's just a girl your brother is screwing. 2. She isn't being honest, she is being a jealous brat whose saying rude comments because she clearly wants a different life than her own. Bragging about focusing on her carrier while your wife works part time and the inappropriate comments about the kids are clearly pointing at her insecurities. She doesn't want to have to work and wants to be a wife and mom but that's not her life right now and seeing your wife hilights that. Hence the super inappropriate comments. 3. You aren't being harsh. You and your wife have every right tp decide who comes to your own home and your wife doesn't need to feel disrespected in her own house. Your parents are wrong here. By trying to force you to get over it and just comply they aren't keeping the peace, they are covering up a ticking time bomb. Its going to come to a head one way or another and it's better that happens now than at Thanksgiving.

I was also called selfish for not wanting children. The person concerned had no idea why I didn't want them and I didn't tell her. She overstepped the mark. You are NTA.

NTA. This "gift", in their eyes - I expect - gives them a hold over you.

Girlfriends come and go. Tell your brother you love him but his girlfriend was "honest" on several occasions and the message got through and doesn't need to be said again. On another note, why didn't your wife talk back to her and say the only people who decide when they'll have kids is them, not the girlfriend...she should have said it back to her face. If she isn't put in her place, the girlfriend will walk all over her. Brother should pay attention to this as he's the next one who will get backtalked to. NTA.

Do not let anyone disrespect your wife, even a family member, much less a girlfriend. Make this clear to your parents and siblings.

No. Toxic girlfriends are not invited to Thanksgiving.

That’s not being honest, that’s spite, I would not invite her either.

She’s not just ‘being honest,’ she’s being spiteful and rude.

He asked, and you answered. It just happened to be the answer he didn't expect or want.

NTA. The girlfriend is a bitchy, judgemental witch.

Pushy, disrespectful girlfriend, and pretty judgemental. NTA

Like she said, she had three babies and she got to decorate three nurseries. It's your turn now.

Speaking as a former gift giver who abruptly stopped - this is a competition so the present has an audience, way more important than the one for you. If you havent gone overboard with excitement in the past he will naturally gravitate towards the reaction. Nothing to do with infidelity.

NTA. Go no-contact with your mother. She doesn't deserve you! It's a host's job to accommodate the dietary choices of all guests.

OP, stand your ground. This is YOUR house. YOURS. Put your foot down and say, "NO!" One thing you did not mention...if your parents bought you the house or gave you a significant gift of money towards it's purchase, they may feel they have a right to do this. They don't; however, you might want to approach this differently if this is the case. If you don't like the windows, say no. If they are okay, maybe accept them graciously. How did they get the doors out...did you give them a key or did they break in??? If you gave them a key, you. have a bigger share of this problem/issue. One final thing to consider: If the are putting money into your home, they may use this against you if in the future they either want to or need to live with you. Best make a decision now to avoid future confrontations.

This is messed up. Yes, you are the AH but worse, you messed with her meds. That is wrong, full stop. Do not give the crap about "looking out for her". This is not how you treat another adult.

He is cheating ...he lost interest in you

NTA. If they don’t respect you enough to use your given name, the name you have requested be used, then you don’t have obligation to respond. End of discussion. I once knew a guy whose birth certificate said “Danny,” and he stuck by that name. So you stick to your guns and keep doing what you’re doing.

The person who asked her to leave was the asshole.

Start making up names for all those ignorant as$holes

One landlord evicted her. Why would you even consider letting her in?

OP should get a job.

Yes, you are the AH. I agree you should not have attended your in-laws baby shower BUT you should not have attended your friends' one, either. Perhaps if you made them SWEAR not to put it online it would have been fine, but with it going public, it became a bit NO. To refuse your inlaws because of their abusive behavior is one thing but to snub one shower to attend another, even if a surprise, is another. You are adding fuel to the fire by doing that. I would have suggested moving your friends' shower for you TO YOUR HOUSE and not allow any pictures to be taken and explain why OR just accept the gifts individually without the fanfare of a shower. You made a mistake, a big one. It will come back to bite you in the butt big time.

I was in my cousins wedding with a broken foot. Walked down the aisle in my beautiful dress, with a huge boot on my foot. She never excluded me from pictures or activities. Why? Bc her wedding was about the beginning of a marriage, not about an aesthetic. If I was the writer, I would sue that bitch for every dollar, time, and energy that I wasted. Glad she found out what kind of person she was before the baby was born, so she didn't waste time making her a God mother.

Are you an AH? It depends, as you did not say how dedicated you were into purchasing gifts for him. If you went all out for him, then I would be wary and check into this relationship with his employee further, like consider a private detective. If he makes you purhase your own gift again, or gets you a cheap one, stop giving him gifts. Something is wrong here. Keep your eyes open.

TA - either you want a baby shower, or you don‘t. Actually, you want his parents to shut up - which is perfectely reasonable. But to disregard them in this way is A-behavior!

If he used to go all out and stopped a few years ago, then something else is going on. Unless he's willing to discuss it, which doesn't seem the case, it will only get worse

lol. What do you get for him? He’s putting effort in the people that give him effort. He’s tired of meeting you more than halfway. You haven’t been reaching out so he quit over extending.

Op doesn't realize her husband is receiving his co-workers gift year around

NTA Something is going on if he got upset with you for just mentioning it. While you should keep your eyes and ears open, you also have to rein in your jealousy; it's never a good look.

It is ok for you not to attend the baby shower . Your husband could have gone instead. Was wrong to not accept gifts from baby shower. You were wrong to turn around and have baby shower at your house, accept those gifts and post on social media, and somehow assume that would not cause massive problems with relationship with Husbands family. Was a major slap in the face for MIL, and your child’s grandparents. Passive aggressive or active aggressive, call your behaviour vindictive and mean. For your marriage sake, for your children’s sake, try to be at least civil , it can be done without sacrificing your own dignity. Oh, and by the way, what goes around, comes around…. And your little darling just might decide your behaviour is ‘cancel worthy’ when the time comes. You can do better. Change starts with you.

OP is a bratty teenager

What you need to do is lower your expectations. Your expectations are reasonable, but your Dad has never been there for you. You just disappoint yourself every time you expect him to be better and he isn't. So lower your expectations and then you won't set yourself up for yet another upset.

NTA. I'm assuming that OP's friends didn't make hateful passive-agressive comments or put OP down. That alone makes it a better party. Her in-laws should be told why their shower was rejected. I would suggest OP telling her side online so everyone sees how ugly her in-laws have been.

She is the AITA. Definitely go after her for the money. So much for friendship and loyalty.

So, how do you want to have a relationship with your Mom? Clearly needs improving. She does not understand vegan or vegetarian. She understands a food allergy. Perhaps when you come over for dinner, if it ever happens again, your wife could bring some vegan dishes over, with enough for sharing. So tired of people on both sides being intolerant over food preferences or allergies or just sensitivities. ( not that your wife was here) , but this should not be a hill to die on. People can change, given time and opportunity. Is there a restaurant close by that might cater to both vegan and ‘normal’ ( your Mom’s words). Cuz after all, the meal is the setting for building a relationship, the meal is not the relationship in itself !

It all depends on *how* you tell him. If you include the fact you almost forgot about it, & make a joke out of this, it should go okay. After all, your point is just to inform him, not to criticize him.

Let it go. He is struggling to just get thru every day at this point.

Don't tell him. You yourself almost forgot your own birthday. Just let it go. You had a nice dad/daughter evening. Can't beat that.

Suggest that the vision-appropriate maid of honor cover the cost, having assumed your role. NTA.

Such a sad situation!

If you're NOT invited, DON'T show up.😏😎 ✌&💖

Well she CHOOSES to be vegan. She CAN eat the normal food, she CHOOSES not to. If her choices are that import to her she needs to accommodate her own food. If roles were reversed and she invited MIL over would she be accommodating and have a meat dish? She wouldn’t would she, and she’d be sooooo offended that anyone would expect her to do that. Veganism is a choice, she needs to live with her choices.

Waiting for the update where OP sued Claire to kingdom come.

NTA. OP is right not to help her disrespectful DIL.

Good thing this happened before your child was born. Now you know to keep her the hell away.