manic pixie nightmare girl
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 ก.ค. 2022
- A girl from nowhere and a desire for change- what could go wrong?
Manic pixie dream girl is a trope or cliche often thrown about to describe female characters. From its initial use as a means to call out directors utilizing female characters in poor taste, to its evolution which came to praise “not being like other girls,” the trope has become quite divisive, even being rebuked by its coiner, Nathan Rabin. But, trying to detach it from this controversy, and instead looking at the desire which lies at the heart of the manic pixie dream girl, can we find something meaningful about the human condition? Many of us have a desire for change. This cliche is one rooted in that desire, seeking to fulfill it not with one’s own effort, but rather the effort of someone else who enters your life for that purpose alone. As such, when we fall for such a person or character, what are we really in love with? Someone we see as equal, or simply the method for change? This is what we’ll discuss today, looking at a few anime: Your Lie in April, Anohana, Gurren Lagann, FLCL, and even more. Each of these series has a character who arguably fits the “manic pixie dream” trope, but some like Kaori are a dream, and others like Haruko are a nightmare of our own making…
#anime #flcl #yourlieinapril #animediscussion #professorviral - บันเทิง
ive had an experience like this before. The person i was interested in was so different from everyone else around me, and our relationship was almost cinematic, it resembled a cheesy coming of age story lol. but the thing is the way i saw them wasnt exactly how they saw me. even though they were this break from normalcy in my life, i wasnt that for them, for them i was just another crush. so as time passed when they got over me, i found myself wanting to involve myself with them again because i associated them with this feeling of change. i really had to stop myself and realize that that person was not the answer to the mundane feeling of my day to day life, because honestly there may not be an answer to that.
Thats where I find myself now, looking at the present and future alike, wondering when the mundane and pointless feeling will end. It's something I'll be trying to explore more in videos like this one
Be the manic pixie dream person you wanna see in the world
THIS HIT BRO... i been goin thru the same shit. idk why but it feels infinitely more comfortable to reach back out to someone who aint for u than to try and open urself up to new ppl :/
@@DeathnoteBB We must all attempt to be the himbo we wish to see in others
Might I ask how they were such a distinct change from everyone and the normalcy around you?
I liked to hear the male perspective on this. I always wanted to be the manic pixie dream girl and cement myself as the center of someone's world. If I make you my center then you have to also center around me. But it becomes exhausting to put in so much effort for little reciprocation. I have a wonderful husband now. But my manic pixie wants have moved to finding friends as an adult. Like you were lamenting, there really is no time. And even putting in the effort (joining book clubs and online forums), I still haven't found any friends to connect with. So here's to both of us on our own paths of putting in effort to try and make a change.
I've recently been searching myself for book clubs and similar activities to branch out. But the offerings can be so sparce it's still difficult. That said, I'm still hopeful for some new opportunities, and the people I've met through youtube, my discord, and so on have been a great help!
@@ProfessorViral I've joined a horror book club. It's fun, but the only problem is everyone else is 10+ years older than me so relatability is down. I don't like to drink or go clubbing, but sometimes that feels like the only way to meet other 20 somethings. But meeting people by doing things I don't enjoy is counter productive.
@@brookeboston3289 don't lose heart, there's probably more out there. You know, it's odd but I feel like I kind of resonate with your manic pixie girl struggles despite being a guy. The search for friends is hard, specially as an adult but they are there, I do believe that.
When two people truly fall in love, it is not one being the center, you orbit each other with a new center. When you have kids you have a stronger gravity field in the center.
@@brookeboston3289 Dude I feel that "not wanting to go clubbing or drinking" dilemma SO hard. That's all folks around my age seem to want to do to meet people. Not sure if it's different regionally (I'm in the PNW area of the USA) but out here it's basically do that or be way into adult league sports.
I think the manic pixie dream girl is a motif that indicates to something much older... there's a bit of a mythic quality to the girl almost like an ideal. Seeing some of the Japanese ones maybe those MPDs are evolutions of the fox ladies or fox deities.
It goes back much earlier for sure, I saw examples from very classic literature, but didn't use them because I was unfamiliar with them firsthand
@@ProfessorViral In the research and cataloging of Fairy Tales (which is much more complex than most people probably realize), this specific trope is usually covered by, like @TheMindofRa mentioned, animalian shapeshifters. When this device is applied to men, it is typically used to highlight their bestial gluttony, rage, and lust, and how women can be a civilizing force in their lives (but only after they consecrate the relationship, ofc). When it's applied to women, however, the women become ethereal and otherworldly creatures that men cannot fully comprehend or tame, and these stories inevitably end with the feminine shapeshifter returning to the world from whence she came.
It certainly makes the "pixie" part of the name well earned. While the image of the fae has been watered down over time, one should still remember that they are not to be trusted, even the seemingly harmless pixies.
@@harperna3938 This sounds like Holo from Spice and Wolf to me
Muses from greek mythology would also fit this I think
My understanding of Anohana's ending was that because Menma understood that her life with Jintan would be an incomplete, inferior replication of a real relationship, and that staying would hinder the group's ability to grow up as people by holding onto the past indefinitely. So as an act of unconditional love, she pushes the group to band together and talk about their problems, even if it means she can't stay anymore. I would say that her character has elements of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope, but that the final sequence turns her into a fully fledged character with a complete arc, because she has to make a selfless choice for the benefit of her friends, even if it means she can never see them again. Self sacrifice doesn't inherently make them a MPDG just because they're female imo
That's fair, no character will every truly fit into the mold, and I was approximating based on a watch a year or so ago. While she herself is a better character than the trope, I think the series using her, and most of the women, for the growth of the men puts it in a similar category. That may be what I was thinking of more than Menma herself
@@ProfessorViral Personally I didn't have your perspective of the story. I never felt as though the women in the story were any more or less of people or were used to progress the perspective of the males around them. From my perspective they were all mourning the loss of Menma in their own ways and Menma presented herself to Jintan as he would be the only one likely to be able to bring everyone together to move on. All of them were suffering at the loss of their friend the whole squad fell apart and Menma couldn't move on knowing her friends were suffering. She was being selfish in helping them move on so she could rest in peace which is why the ending is so impactful. From a woman's perspective it can be frustrating that characters that are good or trying to be kind are minimized and considered "tropes" while plenty of male characters have this wild side carefree side and no one seems to need to call them tropes.
@@AIKOBLISS Agreed! I think you put this perfectly. I think at a base level according to definition, menma isn't a manic pixie dream girl. So to see menma labeled as one seems like its missing the point of the story entirely, and makes it so that, just because a woman helped someone in a story, they're automatically 'tropey'
@@AIKOBLISS I agree with you! You're much better at putting things into words than I am but I felt like, I guess kind of offended, that menma and the women were looked at as if they only existed for the men. They all suffered. they all wanted to move on. Maybe the issue he saw was that the men suffered more openly and their suffering seemed to be more soothed by the relationship they had with the women, but all that says to me is that the men were more soothed from their suffering by a relationship. That doesn't mean that the women were only their to help the men grow.
Idk it's just such a cynical interpretation and seems like the perspective of someone pretending to care about how women are portrayed but in actuality does not understand what women find important, someone that doesn't have a good understanding of the differences between the genders. They all suffered differently, the women felt better by helping the men they were close to, feel better. That's kind of how we are, in general. We feel better when the people around us feel better. That's what brings us peace. So that can be seen as just as selfish as the men finding peace by getting with the women.
Again I really am awful at putting things into words but hopefully someone understands me. That anime was really good and the characters were really human I wish he could see that
As someone who enjoys being in touch with my childlike side, it’s infantilizing in a way that people I literally JUST MET don’t let me make my own decisions because they think I can’t handle it, I even have people making me walk in front of them like I’m their child so I don’t get snatched away. Around last year I realized I was thrown into that ideal, and it tore me apart because I LOVE being this way, I love helping others feel happier with life and comfortable being themselves, I especially love being giggly and happy all the time, but unfortunately the people around me(especially men) see it as a way to take advantage of me. It sucks because they also don’t think I’m capable of having negative emotions, or at least deserving of it, because I’m not the bubbly escape they want me to be anymore, so whenever I show a negative side of me, these same people label me as toxic… for being a normal human being. It’s not fair. I cry about this all the time, I don’t know how to handle being treated like this all the time.
You worded it so beautifully, I've felt this way for so long and had no idea how to explain it :")
Idk if this is gonna help but here's just a stranger's suggestion.
If you haven't already done this I recommend being clear about your boundaries to these ppl. If they get mad at u for being human, then either you talk to them sincerely and if they don't listen, yeet them lol.
You have every right to feel comfortable being you, while also not being infantalized and treated like a child. I hope things work out well for you :)
Your comment reminded me of Misha from Katawa Shoujo.
I understand you. It’s the same for me. It’s selfish how some people will expect us not to have any negative emotions for their sake.
the way i relate with this comment is crazy feel like you said my words
To me, manic pixie dream sounds extremely similar to the isekai genre. In both, the protagonist is some boring person, who is usually depressed, and wants to change themselves but is too fearful to. But then some magical thing whisks them away to a new world (sometimes figuratively and sometimes literally) where they can change and grow into a new and better person.
And having an isekai fantasy is just as unhealthy as the manic pixie dream. By telling yourself that, "if only I lived in a fantasy land of magic, then I could actually do what I wanted with my life," you are essentially creating a barrier around yourself to prevent change because being sent to a fantasy land is an impossible condition. And this barrier only reinforces any psychological block you are already placing on yourself by being to scared or not wanting to put in any effort into changing your life. Most people don't seriously belive in being isekaied because they realize how impossible it is, but even having the fantasy is unhealthy.
tbh that just sounds like those kinds of guys need to get out more and are probably suffering from depression
Fantasy is wonderful, but especially for those who want to escape reality…
There's nothing unhealthy about escapism. As a matter of fact, it's pretty unhealthy if you don't have some form of it. Life sucks, especially now in the days of the internet basically breaking every single facet of human society and evolution, so we need a fantasy to make us forget the pain for a while. Leave people alone, let them have their dreams. They need it. Without those little glimmers of escapism, we'd all drown in a bottle and call it a day.
Most people dont want to face the fact that we are surrounded by a million copes and distractions 😂😂😂
Due to my personality I tend to attract people who are in search of this manic pixie dream girl persona to change their life around. I like to seem exciting to others, I like to be charming and entertaining. But truth is when I see those hollow people try to get a hold of me, try to latch on to me with this spark in their eyes, it's not me they want or like. It's this wish of 'more'. I am not more. I just like to have a good time, but that's for like twice a year. I am antisocial, I am not outgoing. I am boring and my hobbies are too. I am stuck up and not the type of person to explore the world with.That's just how I want to seem to others, so they get a false sense of self-esteem and control of my life. I have neither, I am a mess. I am depressed and think of suicide at least once a day, but her... she loves life, she is happy. And just as the people I see try to chase that persona I created for this one evening, I too crave her. I wish she was real. But she's just there to help me survive this get together, before I crawl back into my hole. But honestly when all eyes are on her.... It gives me some sort of thrill to be this unattainable glory of a person, I could never be. My bf encourages this side of me so much. He knows it's just an act. Sometimes he sends me first to approach a group of people... 'You will charm them anyway.' is what he says. And I know she will.
So you're a manic pixie dream girl from time to time? Cool
It's not necessarily a bad or negative thing. You're trying to protect yourself by wearing these feelings and thoughts and actions of the person you might wish you were if things were different. It's just a way to protect yourself whether its from others or even yourself. You're not creating a persona from scratch, it is You. It's just a matter of merging you and You. I hope things get better for you.
This hit a little to close to home for me.
“I’m boring and my hobbies are too.” Dang, who convinced you of that?
That’s *CAP*
I had an experience similar to your own. Except I was the free spirited girl. It was prom and I met this man who only would see a few times playing guitar at his school. I thought he seemed like an interesting fun person and during the time of prom I met a lot of weird individuals. So I talked to him for a while shared a few stories of my tragic past. And at the end he asked me for my social media with only desire was for me to pay for his band. But instead we became close friends, I liked him for a brief moment. Only to realize I liked the attention and not who he was. We both agreed we were better off as friends but as time went on we revealed out beliefs. We got in a million arguments about how one should live life. I believed being selfish is good and you have to live for yourself. He believed being selfish was poison and you have to live for others. But he had this huge desire and dream in life, to change others. But I noticed time and time again it only hurt him. Friends that wouldn’t reciprocate his effort or come to him for comfort. But I couldn’t help but feel that he allowed that to happen. He became that person for them that would drive them to be better, to be the “therapist friend.” But as I kept telling him you can’t change others, it felt like I had that same desire. I wanted to change this guy to help him become more like me. A free spirit and one willing to live for himself. I started to notice and realize as he was growing and changing I was being stagnant. I had the belief that i was change and freedom embodied, but I fell into patterns and bad habits. So I decided to end the friendship. I decided to leave so I can live my life and not be reliant on changing this man’s fate. If he wished to be stuck in his ways and only hurt himself by trying to help broken individuals. Then I didn’t need to be that person to tell him to wake up from that unrealistic dream. And my life has moved since.
You know that rare moment when TH-cam drops a recommendation that actually speaks to you and helps you find a relatable and well-made TH-camr? This is one of them. FLCL was my first anime and my favorite mostly because of the reasons the video went into.
Thank you very much, it means a lot to hear kind words from everyone : )
Did you see it on Toonami too?
@@ArcAngle1117 Sure did. 😀
@@EarthOneSpidey I knew it when you said it was your first lmao. FLCL and Summer Wars on Toonami were the very first anime I'd ever seen and they had a big impact
hey man just got dumped like a week ago by my first, thought she would be the one, or at least I hoped so. Its really tough when you go day and night thinking about them 24/7 for months and then get cut off. I can without a doubt say that your video has been the best advice I've been given, even in comparison to friends and everything else on the internet. I really do thank you for making this video man. I hope you keep on adventuring even on your own.
I watched this video like 3 times at work today, not to get through the day but because I needed it. Thanks again
My first real relationship with someone was for three years. I just assumed I would live my life with them, even though nothing about the relationship was ever healthy. Because of that pain of going from constant thought to cut off, I decided to stay cut off and not let anyone in for the longest time. I searched for flaws in every relationship so I could end them before I got hurt again. It really did suck to have a painful experience once I actually tried again for the first time. But it's something I wouldn't change. I hope there was something in that relationship that'll push past the pain, and become one of the things you can look back on fondly, as a reminder of the path you took along a long and winding life. Thank you, for letting my share my story with you. I'm glad it was able to help : )
In this dating era of high divorcees its kind of tough not to find someone thats trash talking/badmouthing behind your back, let alone finding "the one"
I don't agree with your view about Haruka doing what she does out of love for Atomsk. As many people have pointed out, it's only Amarao that stats she is in love with Atomsk, whereas Haruka never really shows any sign of love in the series, and she's always portrayed as a self-center charachter. It would seem like Amarao came up with that conclusion as a way to explain why Haruka used him that way, as that experience left him insecure about his appeal as a romantic/sexual partner, and Haruko just wanted to get Atomsk power for her own sake.
P.S. Yes, I know that in Progressive they actually show Haruka as being in love with Atomsk, but that show was made for people who had nothing to do with the original series, so I don't think we should consider it when analyzing the original work.
I agree 100%
Idk, the show pretty much is a kid coming up with an anime story to come to grips with his reality. Haruko and Mamimi have repeating sounds in their names bc they are the same person. Both are outsiders that are trying to feel whole bc one person made them feel that way. They were abandoned. Then Mamimi pretty much assaults Naota, and neither of them knows how to handle it. The show is pretty much Naota doing what a lot of kids do: make up a story in an attempt to make sense of their life. Atomsk doesn't seem as much as a jerk bc he's Naota's idea. In reality, his brother essentially had sex with the weird girl in school bc she was vulnerable and willing. She's also younger than him, and is the bullied girl. He then tossed her aside. She couldn't handle it (how could she?) and ended up messing with Naota. Naoto doesn't get what is happening, and at one point tries to make it official with Mamimi. That's the episode where she falls on the ground and calls for the brother. When all's said and done with the show, she, like Haruko, leaves to find love elsewhere, and Naoto lets her go, and now is in secondary/high school. Everyone has gotten over it as best they could, for better or worse.
The story is actually pretty damn messed up. But it's kids trying to figure themselves out, and it wasn't going to let up. Some of these same people were involved with Evangelion, after all.
*In Defense of Only the Allure of Manic Pixie Dream Girl.*
_They were not there just to breath life into boring bruting male protagonist. It is selling a the male fantasy to be emotionally supported and validated._
Which like that is the sad part of it's charm. That men feel the need to escape into fiction to feel like their emotions matter. Which is why the Manic Pixie Dream Girl doesn't even feel like a 2 dimensional character at best. Because the character is a McGuffin, a plot device for change. Men are constantly told that our value comes from obtaining women, so it becomes a red heron goal to our conclusion. So they become this spirit guide that breaks down our barriers. While men can have what society has told us is "having our cake and eating it too." Which is to say being vulnerable, not beautifully sad kind of vulnerable. But just unflatteringly not okay. Depressed, angry, anxious, or done with the world. But still find love and self worth. We don't even have to subdue our emotions to be more approachable. Like in real life.
I am almost a little defensive of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Not because I am a fan of the trope. (Tho I do love Scot Pilgrim vs The World.) I just find it tragic that this idea is used more as a criticism of men in media than a mode discussion about men's life long emotional isolation. Not saying it doesn't have problems socially, a lot of men grew up entitled because of some themes of this trope. _"Aren't I this bruting mysterious guy? I thought I was supposed to get all the girls!"_
It's just, are we always going to skip past that part where it is also a cry out for help?
Lastly men are told that media is always made for our benefit. But it is always just what society tells us what we should want. The Manic Pixie Dream Girl is actually a trope that is unapologetically made to speak to men. Yes it is selfish and problematic. But finally it is a story with a male lead where his growth is not to be a martyr, to accept his responsibilities, or to learn to unselfishly put others before themselves for the hundredth time. Like women's empowerment films. They too can have growth for their own sake. (Without having to be the butt of the joke for being a sensitive/pathetic guy.) Which I feel is beautiful despite the delivery. Which comes from being a product of a society that likes to tell men what we want, how we should feel about ourselves, and how to conduct ourselves. Also there is the reoccurring theme that some Manic Pixie Dream Girls just leave for good at the end. Because they a were not the prize, the personal growth was.
In a sea of narratives that say we, men, live our lives for others. This one says we matter too.
society likes to only see beauty in women
fuck that men can be beautiful too
From the perspective of the person that helped others change, as a manic pixie dream person, it's not worth it.
It might have been attraction and fun at the beginning. But in a short time the happy bubble will burst and trying to help a person change is so emotional and time-consuming that it feels more like a chore.
If change doesn't come internal from what that person wants, then anything you do it will be almost for nothing or for future people to enjoy.
Life is too short and full of hardships to put so much effort into other people's life. Like you said, it's not bad to be selfish to an extent and work on bettering yourself.
I can definitely see how constantly trying to help someone else would become a chore. I think I was that chore for someone before. But I'm hoping to never be again. Life is for sure to short to spend it changing others at your own detriment
Buna Claudiu
@@accounfour2402 Buna
"But in a short time the happy bubble will burst and trying to help a person change is so emotional and time-consuming that it feels more like a chore."
And then you begin to resent them for all the time and energy you're putting in, the things you've missed out on for their sake, time which often feels like a complete waste due to a near complete lack of meaningful progress.
All things have to come from within, change for the better included.
I agree, I've had many friendships end because people wouldn't change, and would get mad at me for wanting them to.
Ano Hana at least has the convenience of her being a ghost, so she isn't human anymore and she'd rather make the point of her entire existence fixing her friends before moving on to the afterlife, if we consider ghosts are defined by their obssession with regrets.
I really appreciate the video, I feel it shows that MPDG is an issue of writing in the end: not making a character its own entity. I feel one series that plays with this concept in a meaningful way is My Dress Up Darling. Marin at first feels like it's going to be a MPDG but, she's just perfect, as the manga continues, it gets really hurtful for her, it's like perfection isn't enough. Wakana is improving his social skills, but he still has no idea of how damaged he really is. Marin, who's an otaku, might have thought she could be a MPDG for someone like Wakana - it's never really stated in the text, but this is a theory that I think it could plausible - , but it's chapter 78 and you can argue she's like "This is *not* like my Japanese animes". I guess it helps the series was written by a woman, so there's a different perspective.
I think i "got" a manic pixie dream... I was using that app, project z on a dificcult time on my life and for some reason a guy said "hey im interested in you" i was like "wait... What? And not looking for a partner sooooo..." But he just laughed and we started to talk a lot. With time, he came to knew a lot of things of me, things i didn't even wanted to remember... I love him a lot (in a friends way) and try my best to compensate him for all he did to me. I dont know what he wanted from me by randomly saying he was interested in me, well he says that I am a person he likes to stay close and it seems to be enough for both of us I guess. I'm very grateful for him
I think that's something we could use more of honestly. I've found a lot of people that I've been "interested in" in a non-romantic way. I just enjoy people, the weird and wild things our minds do to shape us into who we are. As we grow older, it's harder to meet people. Being able to be open and be simply interested in someone in that way is, to me at least, something amazing. I'm glad to see it was something which was able to help you : )
When you talked about your lie in April, you kind of explained why MPDG sorta works. It's the the ideal of an exceptional person. It takes the universal idea of a person deeply effecting someone else's life, something everyone can connect to on a deep emotional level and making it into a larger than life ideal. It's an emotional Hercules and that's why it's so effective. The MPDG is a mythical creature, heroes are something deeply tied to storytelling and combining it with something to basically relatable is undeniably effective. If something isn't remarkable. it isn't a story.
This is the best response to the criticism of the trope I've ever seen. Whoever says stories should be 100% realistic has never read a book in their life. The whole point of stories and the characters in them is to be larger than life. It's just not entertaining or meaningful otherwise.
Do you do good for reciprocation, or do you do it for something you lack in life?
Stories are a way to experiences another person's life, put yourself in another's shoes. etc
I'd disagree on only the remarkability line. Any good story is a balance between interesting and believable. Too many bad stories can be unbalanced in one way or another, often times losing both in trying to rely on quality too much. This is also why Mary Sues are such a hot topic, because they're an attempt at interesting that misses the mark because of how unbelievable they are. And not just because of how powerful they're presented as being, but in how unbelievable everyone else's behavior is toward them. That's the unspoken rule of fantasy: unrealistic isn't just deviation from our collective expectations of the world, but our collective expectations of other people and their emotions. Physical realism vs Emotional realism, as it were.
Myth does heavily rely on being unrealistic and being interesting, but it has moments and details of believable humanity in them to ground them to our experiences. Hell that petty but relatable behavior is why things like the mythology of Greek gods is so fun that their stories have survived millenia. When you get to more deified "perfect" figures like Yeshua or Siddhartha, the interest lies in their moral and spiritual teachings and less about them as individuals. In their deification, they lose their relatable humanity (which of course is the point, despite the Nicean Council's protests to the counter).
Which is the trap that many authors fall into when they write these narratives with mostly female characters, basically creating a messiah of feminity to masculine development. It can be done well (Cyberpunk: Edgerunners for example is a great story despite relying on this trope to sown degree), but... that kind of narrative can be far less interesting to people outside of the intended male demographic.
Take me, for example. Sure I'm a cisgender traditionally masculine male, but unlike your typical sensitive male protagonist I have ADHD, only recently medicated ADHD mind you. I do not need a figure to come out of the cosmos to convince me to be spontaneous and to ignore work and to embrace the simple pleasures in life, indeed that's my default mode of operation when unmedicated. I do not desire a more unpredictable life, I am not suffering from the ennui of an upper middle class intellectual, I'm just broke as shit hoping to build a more stable base for my family, which my ADHD is at odds with. All of this to say that the manic pixie dream fantasy does not appeal to me whatsoever. The expression of MPD qualities quite frankly reminds me of my own ADHD symptoms and how much more charming, energetic and "happy" people perceive me as when I'm unmedicated. So when the fantasy doesn't hold inherent draw to someone like me... well there better be something more grounded or more interesting behind the curtain or else it feels like someone glorifying a lifestyle or mindset that I have a negative experience with.
Now not everyone has had my experiences, but the MPD fantasy is not universal either. Perhaps then these stories aren't made for us in mind, but if these kinds of stories are being limited these subconscious reaffirmation of roles, then it can only free authors and creatives to understand this pattern and recognize their usage.
Something being a trope doesn't mean it's bad, but it's easier to slip and do a trope badly when you are ignorant of your own presumptions that you are baking into a work.
Manic pixie girls filled my 20s. Never confuse lust and love, lest you be dragged down the street by your nose by it.
I had this video in my "watch later" playlist for some time, and I'm so glad it popped back up in my reccomended right now. I've been a total wreck these past few days, feeling totally helpless, heartbroken, and lost because of the fear of losing someone that I thought was capable of changing my life. But in reality? I really was just chasing the addictive feeling of change. I left home for the first time last year, and experienced so many new things, and it was exilerating. But in the same breath, I was ignoring all the bad in favor of drowing myself in all the new things I was experiencing. I don't know what the future is going to hold for me, because I do want to experiencing new things. But I want to do it on my own terms, not by looking for fufillment I am never going to find in people who are leading different lives then me.
I just enjoy them while I have them.
They are like a rare butterfly, you want to catch it, keep it and hold it. Eventually you realize, it has to be free to be exactly what you loved about it in the first place.
I’ve been labeled as the MPDG trope before, and I think the trope has an interesting connection women with agency.
I like meeting people, and I want to find people to hang out with, so me expressing my agency and asking for a guy’s number or inviting someone to a metal concert is a way for me to be an active player in my own life. I’m also generally pretty open, and I like to keep my life uncomplicated, so I’ll typically be open about my past struggles and hear men be open about theirs. (Unfortunately, I think this can lead to toxic relationships where someone relies on you for more than you want to, and keeps contacting you after you’ve broken things off or expressed clear boundaries).
I think the discussion about gender here is pretty apt: MPDGs invert gender tropes by having a strong sense of agency, but act feminine by talking about feelings. And these particular gender tropes I think lead to some problems that affect lots of people
It's amazing to see how many others have had their own similar experience, reminds me of the song Message in a Bottle by the Police - "It seems I'm not alone in being alone. 100,000 cast aways looking for a home."
It always feels as if you're the only one who goes through these struggles, who experiences these emotions and thoughts.
But all it takes is one person to speak of their experience and all of a sudden there's many others with their own stories.
"Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his. In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts: they come back to us with a certain alienated Majesty. Great works of art have no more affecting lesson for us than this. They teach us to abide by our spontaneous impression with good humored inflexibility than most when the whole cry of voices is on the other side. Else, tomorrow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time and we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another." - Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance
Thank you Professor for your well thought out and thought provoking videos, you're becoming one of my favorite channels and I hope it gets the growth and attention it deserves.
Thank you very much 😁
Beautifully said.
I dated a woman I thought I"d marry after dating for 4 years after college and she was like me in almost every way but things did not workout because the one way we differed is she didnt want to settle down with just one person and cheated and even though I forgave her it happened again and she'd abuse me emotionally. I feel into a spiral of depression with alcohol and drug use. I dug myself out that hole after 8 years and have tried dating since then but none have been close to even being better than that relationship. I've been single for awhile and just been working on myself and I'm happy but I am not against finding someone but it is a lot of work to go through meeting new people as an older adult in my 30s. I don't want to change someone and I don't want them to change me. I want someone who already has themselves figured out and for us to support one another in our own lives to where its mutually beneficial. I wanna feel that spark again but feel my days are numbered the older I get.
emotionally abusive women are all too common unfortunately I feel like every guy has had atleast one gf like that
Good luck man! You have my power at your back!
They only think of that one thing and its the thing they project on men because they are the ones that hold higher bodycounts but they think every guy just goes and sleeps w any abusive woman
Predators love projecting their own delusions
I used to be kind of a manic pixie dream person to a guy I used to know (along with others).
We met at a mental health awareness incursion at school.
We were told to talk to someone who we’ve never talked to before and basically share our live stories. He came up to me which was weird, he was the popular footy player and I was the theatre kid who got food thrown at me everyday lol.
He opened up about his hard home life and his social anxiety and I opened up about the su*cide of my friend a few months before as well as my own struggles mentally.
After that we started talking, he was kind of reserved at first but I went all in, making my usual weird unconventional jokes about whatever was on my mind and in turn he started to open up more :).
We hung out a couple of times he was really shy and wanted to stay away from people so I took him to a cozy little bookstore and we went to see a movie, getting into the cinema half an hour early we just sat and cuddled and talked about anything, even kissing a few times.
There was a lot of hard nights for us, he was unfortunately rather su*cidal at the time but so was I, regardless we were there for each other- we’d talk over text for hours until 3 in the morning, it was sweet and I was glad I had him and he was happy to have me.
Eventually he completely became a different person, in a good way and he thanked me for it saying “you really helped me want to be happy and be myself, because you’re yourself and you’re wonderful”
But unfortunately the story comes to a bittersweet end, I moved schools to go to a school that caters to people with my struggles and he began to only focus on the people around him. I ended up officially ending the friendship as he’d never reply to me and I couldn’t take it anymore.
He got so much better, he’s happier, braver and more comfortable in his own skin which I am really happy to hear but I am now just as depressed, lonely and self conscious now.
I never really did what I did with him FOR him, though making him happy was a big part of it. It was also for my own escapism, if I got to be the person I wanted in my life then I could pretend for a little while I was ok and in turn he started to be ok too. I miss him a lot now, tried to get back in touch but he never replied :(
At least I know he still listens to that playlist I made him and he’s in a better place now :).
You did a good thing, you’ve helped someone through a tough time, I hope that eventually the universe shares it forward to you
@@potatoboy6094 true that
But still he wasn’t cool for ghosting you for no reason. You are allowed to be angry, yknow? I just hope you know you have the permission from yourself to feel the shitty emotions that he caused for ghosting. Idk. Feel like I should tell yoh that
Personally, I'd argue that in Gurren Lagann, we see one of the few cases of a Manic Pixie Dream Guy, with Kamina. He fits most of the boxes, oddly.
He is to an extent, but it's an effect of his goal outside of that. He displays the aspects of it, but is developed in other way. He kind of shows the trope can be done within a great character, but it shouldn't be the entire character
Wait, true 😂 but for Simon, as an older brother figure instead of romantic
I think this is... hitting close to something I'd considered before. and I want to see if I can sort my thoughts out about it. see, I think a lot of this trope in general revolves around a sense of separation between people in modern society. and a lot of it is based on pride, and the way we protect ourselves from humiliation. downplaying genuine emotion because that's cringe, everything is either a joke or something to get angry at, revealing vulnerable feelings like sadness or love is seen as a weakness, and that vulnerability just won't do... there's no faith in others, it's expected that they'd use that to hurt you. the end result is an outer shell that can remain aloof and unaffected... that doesn't care. if someone doesn't like that outer shell, there's no need to feel personally hurt by that opinion. it wasn't the real you to begin with.
and yet, deep down, everyone wants closeness and companionship to some degree. the dream is to have those walls broken down, but it can be a really tricky thing to figure out how to reveal your true emotions by your own power. and the idea of a manic pixie dream girl, is really a dream about finding someone who doesn't present you with any barrier to entry, and is determined to break down your barriers, no matter how aggressively thick they are. yes, she will do the icky work of being vulnerable and emotional first, in order to lead you down a gentler path. she's someone who can not only crack your shell, but also be trusted to love and appreciate what's underneath. and yet, _she_ is supposed to be simple and easy to understand, and hand you her entire true self on a silver platter, and be easy for you to love, through and through, with zero downsides or real flaws.
now here's the tricky bit... what I described in the first paragraph is actually a textbook description of toxic masculinity. or rather, a description of behaviors that result from it's mindset. a man might not actually agree with the core tenants of toxic masculinity, wherein might makes right, and if you're not a chad, you're some spineless weenie loser... many men will call that idea bullshit on the face of it. but the ideology can be more subtle than that, and the actions of those who do believe in toxic masculinity can reinforce a sense of isolation in those around them, who stand to suffer from their behavior. and that's why I didn't call it toxic "masculinity" in the first paragraph... because what I'm actually describing could affect anyone, regardless of gender. it's a type of toxic masculine runoff... the way people react to toxic masculinity. and it's reach can also affect women.
and here's where I connect up with the video's analysis a little. I think Haruka is a character that causes others to suffer by embodying the traits that are glorified by toxic masculinity. she comes off as cool, because she's really never vulnerable in a way that matters. she never actually let anyone get close... every time someone thought they were getting close to her, it was all a farce, and her barrier to entry was so steep that it literally didn't break. her main mode of interaction is joking, and her main method is violence. she's hardly ever serious, almost never reveals the truth of herself to anyone around her, and when the truth does come out, it turns out that nobody around her mattered one single bit to her. cold and cut off. and this can come off as just self serving, sure... but was she satisfied? did she serve herself well with her behavior? I would argue that nobody won here. because Naoto was trying to find someone who would break down his walls and understand his emotional center, but he was looking for it from someone who was walled up ten times worse. emotional honesty wasn't even something that Haruka was trying for in the first place. neither of them was equipped to have a reciprocal relationship of mutual trust and respect... and she literally didn't get what she wanted out of the relationship either.
and honestly, this is why I take a small bit of issue with the idea that Haruka reflects some more realistic version of what people are like than the manic pixie dream girl archetype. like, she's _one_ realistic approach to writing a person, sure. but the kind of person she is, doesn't represent the fundamental state of people. I think that women in media get pigeonholed pretty hard in relation to the manic pixie dream girl trope. if a woman is too emotional, giving, or caring, she can get labeled as this trope... but to subvert it, how is a woman forced to end up? like Haruka? detached and isolated? violent and insincere? is this the price of basic respectability? to people who subscribe to the ideals of toxic masculinity... probably yes! damned if you do, damned if you don't.
and obviously, "manic pixie dream girl vs. Haruka" isn't some strict binary for how female characters can turn out... that's not what I'm saying. but it presents this really complicated sort of balancing act that women have to go through. for men, it's fairly simple... defying toxic masculinity is subversive, and while being subversively vulnerable is difficult, it's also a clear path that will make you happier at the end of it. but for women, the stereotype is that they be emotionally available, kind, accommodating, etc. and those are all generally positive qualities, not just because they're convenient for others, but because in a healthy relationship, they will literally make _her_ happier with her own life. so for women, being subversive can turn into a very destructive and unhealthy thing, very quickly. but it becomes enticing when toxic masculinity frames it as the only way to become respectable. and different women will fall at all sorts of uniquely different points along this scale, from stereotypical to subversive, and they'll fuck up their lives and relationships in all sorts of uniquely different ways depending on who they're around, and how they play things. but ultimately, subversion via the acquisition of power, or the embracing of nihilism, or deflecting with anger, or humor, or generating fear... those are all genuine responses that women can have, but can empowerment happen without alienation? is the binary choice actually between getting disrespected all the time, or being unapproachable and isolated? where does that leave any of us as people, who still desire to be vulnerable, affectionate, and/or close with someone trusted?
the manic pixie dream girl is an insidious trope, because it takes a worldview that a woman could be adopting in order to try and make her own outlook healthier, and twists it to be about a guy who refuses to put in the same kind of work in order to get to the same place as her. in the manic pixie dream girl trope, thinking that the characterization of the girl is the problem might be missing the forest for the trees. and it also critiques women for how they handle themselves, in a way that only pushes them back into toxic masculine behavior if they want to avoid the manic pixie dream girl criticism. subvert the manic pixie dream girl, and you basically get the depressed monster nightmare woman. women shouldn't have to choose which of those to exist as.
but I guess my main message here is just that people are complicated, and women can be assholes in ways that you wouldn't expect. all people are capable of being assholes, misplacing trust or expectations, mishandling other people's emotions, communicating poorly, becoming jaded, etc. but the one thing I think we all benefit from is not forsaking the attempt to reach out. perhaps with tempered expectations and an ear to the ground so we can predict potential incompatibilities, but ultimately the effort to be vulnerable is worth putting in, when possible. it takes energy... and it takes time. but sometimes it's not all on you. sometimes they're the ones with the flaws, and the worst thing that the manic pixie dream girl trope can convince you of, is the idea that they'll have nothing to fix about themselves coming in. and if their issues are insurmountable, that might not be on you.
Such a great read!
@@katiasophist1171 thank you ^_^
Honestly after reading that, I realized that the problem is the simplification of a women that isn't even realistically achievable without also being toxic. You're absolutely right, people are complex and manic pixie dream girls are certainly not
@@CarlosMartinez-nj4wq yeah, the sexist part of the trope is definitely letting the guy be complex in the way that people are supposed to, while only writing the woman to fill in the existential gaps he feels like he has in his life. the guy can be relatable, and even a really good and compelling character that you identify with, or want to root for... but he's done a disservice too, by having wish fulfillment cardboard sitting across the table from him at dinner. a character like that isn't challenging him to grow or fix anything about himself... it's giving him an excuse to remain exactly the same.
like, if you're ever watching a piece of media where, at the end, you've never been given enough information to tell what the guy would do if she did something that he really didn't like... that's a bit of an issue. you've probably seen her navigate his difficult personality quirks the whole way through, but if he's not willing to do the same for her (or if she never gives him a reason to do the same, because she's written to never oppose him in any way) then the story is unequally biased. they don't even have to argue... this sort of thing can be implied in already healthy relationships, and that works too. they just have to talk to each other in a way that feels like their opinions are unique from one another, and fairly represented and considered.
but yeah, seriously, I'd thumbs up your comment twice if I could.
@@loregoblin3854 it kind of hurts thay some of these male characters are likeable and sometimes even well written and then undermined by this trope. Nobody grows being unchallenged, and wish fulfillment and power fantasies can be fun, but that isn't the portrayal or connotation of these characters. Instead, we get this ideal that is supposedly not only possible, but desirable when it's anything but.
W I honestly think it’s good to see the more brutal and honest version of what this is born out of selfishness and a desire for change that is so desperate for that change that they put the responsibility of changing on to another idea or person to help them do it
That's what I love about FLCL, series that present that side of things are important!
Best analysis of FLCL i've heard.
I just love the scene at 16:00 where Haruko puts her arms behind her head as if to say "I don't even have to do anything. Naota is so in love with me that he will carry out my will on his own accord".
Love the anime, and the soundtrack even more.
That's a great point, her demeanor at the end screams "I can do anything." Like giving him the awful ramen she chose, coming back and holding him with a begrudging look, and most of all what you mentioned. It makes his rejection of being used even more satisfying, yet somber
And her gloves behind here head kinda look like devil horns… coincidence? or did the artist do that on purpose
The whole idea in this video that a manic pixie dream is actually a complete nightmare is also true and somebody who was the manic pixie dream girl in highschool... I had countless nerd guys constantly trying to get with me in the most lackluster zero effort demanding of attention way completely possible all of my friendships were constantly and question as too If they were there to eventually get with me or if they were there due to my unhealthy expectation for myself to constantly make everyone happy or if they were actually my friends... I wanted so badly to be a manic pixie dream girl growing up because I wanted the fantasy of somebody who would be willing to stay out to sunrise with me and talk sudo philosophy and do all this crazy stuff and it would help me as much as it would help them because it would bring me joy and just enough chaos to my life but not too much... I eventually got into a relationship that looked like that on the outside and it turned pretty bad and I'm still unpacking the trauma and issues from that years later... My current partner actually was someone who originally was attracted to me because of the manic pixie persona but came to see me as a fully realized human that had traits in common with the trope and we are both the better for it.
You know what they say about the honeymoon phase
Half of the reason I love your channel so much is because these videos are you’re therapeutic release and not just some by the numbers stuff
this video is a peice of humanity. a representation of 1 small struggle in this world.
It's one I'm happy to be able to share
Dude. This video was amazing. This was therapy for me. It communicated timeless principles in my language through relevant, brilliant exhibits.
I'm riding those emotional "post breakup" waves right now, and this video made me realize that I was 100% relying on the other party to "rescue me from the mundane", to "teach me to be human" opposed to my autopilot drone state.
Thank you 500 times and 500 more. Subscribed.
Thank you for making my eyes watery, I needed it, I lived a similar situation this year and even tho' I go to therapy I've never quite put it in the context you said, it's been months and I'm not sure I'm over it in slme sense, but the end of this video really helped me man, for real, thank you and a hug my dude
having just got out of a relationship where i feel like both parties sort of fell into this manic pixie nightmare trope, this video really struck a chord with me. Thank you for putting into words what I couldn't. Hearing you speak so candidly about this honestly helped me come to terms with feelings I have been struggling with for months, so thank you again from me and I'm sure countless others who have had similar experiences. Keep up the good work :)
If you find yourself relating a little too closely to "manic pixie dream girls", you may have a personality disorder.
What? 💀 that’s not true. Both me and my best friend have been compared to this trope, or compared to characters within the trope. It’s because we are idealistic, outgoing, creative, rebel against social norms and encourage others to be themselves, which can inspire others. And we love to have a good time and go on adventures. Having these qualities isn’t the problem. It’s other people who idealize girls (or guys) with these traits, hoping we will “save” them from their monotonous or depressing inner thoughts/life
@@summero-my5in I literally have BPD don't take me saying that as some sort of condemnation💀 and obviously I didn't mean everyone, it's just that I notice a lot of the elements of the "manic pixie dream girl" line up with symptoms of certain personality disorders is all
Congratulations, you made me cry. That last segment about your time with that person was pure artistic prose. Thank you
Thank you, for checking out the video and for the kind words : )
this video needs so many more likes. i never realized that the character type that i fell for so heavily actually had a name and how accurate it came to be in a past relationship.
I'd always welcome more, but it's already been such a success so far I'm amazed with how this video has done!
What a fantastic video, this hits home in so many ways and solidifies why I love FLCL so much, thanks for sharing!
No problem, thanks for watching and the comment!
Enjoyed part 3 of the video, it reminds me of the conversations I usually have with my friends before the bed, you know the kind of ones where we speak about perfect girls and criticize our own points because they are too unrealistic or tell our own similar experiences again like in part 3 of this video.
Keep up the great work!
Amazing video!
I really relate to this, for the longest time I was just hoping that some dream person would come into my life and make everything better. And weirdly it kind of actually happened. I just happened to get a new roommate who made me go do new things and experience new things. He doesn’t know it, but he changed my life and I am grateful.
My mental health had been a roller coaster for years, but recently I’ve really been improving. Although my love life has been lacking. I’ve met some great people and my life is changing for the better.
Keep up the great content!
This is excellent, and truly hits home. Thanks for the reminder that we're all human, and life is a series of mistakes and dealing with them; I mean that in the most positive way.
No problem, happy I'm able to provide that : )
Hey, thank you for sharing your story! It made me reflect on my own past relationship too. Great vid.
Thank you, I'm glad it was able to provide some reflection : )
As soon as I saw the title in the reconmended page, I was curious on what a it was about. I love the way you had included Your Lie in April, as it made it more comprehensible cause I hadn't seen the other shows. I still understood what you were saying about the other shows though and I think you did such a great job explain what a manic pixie deam girl was.
Thank you, I'm happy to hear you were able to enjoy the video still!
I'm usually not one to listen and take stock in someone else's story, but your story just peeled back a veil from over my own. I guess it's because of being in the same situational phase, where static existence is becoming the only one I'm seeing at this point, but that manic pixie dream, the yearning for change to be shoehorned into the existence I've been in for the past eight-ish years, is really something I may want, to my own detriment.
As I'm writing this, I've got a full table of dirty pots and pans, a canteen with dirty tables and dirtier floors and me sitting in a corner, with my tired introvert ass wishing that if I ever get off it and leave earlier, like I used too, I might meet someone or something that will change the very nature of the whole world around me so far.
But I'm realistic and cynical, so I only don't really think there's anything like that waiting for me, not unless I start looking. Speaking of, there's a girl I met after a long day of work a few days ago, I was reading a webtoon and she just so happened to like anime, but to what extent remains to be seen, and I was able to get her number. Honestly, it's easier to tell this to a comment section of TH-cam because it's just easier to communicate with people over a small screen in your hand than with other people without feeling like I'm trying to boast when I'm just stating a simple action. So when you describe the premise of FLCL (haven't watched it yet) and how the manic pixie dream/nightmare is truly a lie, I can't help but smile a bit, not at your problems, but at the emotions that it brought out.
To be frank, everyone is searching for that manic pixie dream, it's not just a trope, but a state we all wish for in our lives, one we either are too afraid to go after or to jadeed to notice. It's a renaissance, a life crisis, at whatever time of your life you want it to happen, a turn of the kaleidoscope to reveal a new pattern that will make us feel something, either new or old, we want that chaotic change, for better or worse. But that's just my two cents and a nickel on the subject.
i hate that the internet has turned the phrase this is deep into an insincere joke but this really prompted some deep insightful thought from me. the imagery of a turn of a kaleidoscope resonated in my mind making me imagine looking at myself literally thought the lense of a kaleidoscope, each turn revealing a different shard of myself, new and old eras and aspects of my life. its a beautiful idea, thank you for sharing
I really relate to this. For a large part of middle school and high school I was not quite able to fit in and only had a few close friends. After leaving my hometown to go to college and finally finding a new group of friends and doing new things I’m stuck back home for the summer. The unchanging monotony while familiar makes me just want to go back. College has been one of the few times of my life where I can definitively say that I am and have been happy.
Hey, It's been a few weeks since you made this post. I hope you went for it, that you talked to the girl. Worked through the cynicism. It may not spring a relationship, but sometimes we just need a damn good friend. Even if it's to talk about webtoons.
@@Nathofgiltleaf I did but I think we both can chalk up our meeting as more of a passing acquaintance.
@@alzingafagan7501 Sometimes that's all we need in life. For that brief moment to give a flutter of hope for the next adventure. Good luck mate.
i rly liked the last part abt change and ur recent life experience. i can relate to ur thoughts
Your speech at the end moved me to tears because that’s how the last year of my life was. I had that “manic pixie dream girl” but I don’t like using that term to define someone but she was very much similar to the trope. I changed. I changed alot. I fell in love she fell in love and when we fell apart. It’s become this loss of ourselves. Loss of myself. Loss of herself. Where there was once this feeling of passion love and growth is now this self loathing and feeling of being lost
I went out experienced all these things I never normally did. Said things I normally don’t say changed as a person but not for myself. Lost myself for a whole year and it feels like she did too. And now that its over she’s taken the worst aspects of the “manic pixie dream girl” type and turned it into all of herself snd in a sense I feel like i’ve turned into that seem being. A manic pixie dream boy
wow, this video is truly amazing! It was so important for me to watch it right now after having an experience similar to yours.
I guess I just haft to sub to the patreon. I've been rewatching (well listening) to all your videos while working late at night and god you are slowly but painfully clawing your way through all topics that are important to me (and some I had no idea would be important).
As a female I don't think the 'manic pixie dream girl' was every something I really thought about. I think infact I wanted to BE the manic pixie dream girl, less of crazy though, and more of a helpful person that came into your life and just made it better. But I'm realizing that a relationship I really treasured was honestly something like this. She came into my life 16 years ago, when I was at my lowest point and picked me up and it was wonderful. We were so close, so fast, we did everything together, and I mean everything and for years I couldn't imagine not being around her; then reality hit, we got older, our relationship changed, we couldn't spend all our time together but we kept trying to, we would argue constantly about things, it wasn't until later this year that I realized the fault in both of our sides but we never got to talk it out and it just.. fell apart. My Manic Pixie Dream Girl became my Manic Pixie Nightmare and it wasn't even romantic, I just loved her, I still love her, and it fucking hurts. But I also have accepted that part of the fall of our relationship was my unwillingness to change/commit to an actual direction for my life, and wanting her to decide for me. I wanted that Manic Pixie to designate the trajectory of my life forever... so in a way I'm happy it broke apart because now I can grow... but I think it will be a long time before I stop crying about it honestly.
Thank you so much for this analysis, and your own story. Thank you, thank you. Thank you.
No problem at all, happy to share : )
Thanks for calling out Bubble, I almost turned it off during the exact scenes u used as an example for it's egregious selfless MPDG. It's SO beautiful, and as someone who spent way too much time in college studying the little mermaid, a great adaptation/homage on that front. It's just not very rewatchable for me, and tough to recommend outside of it's gorgeous execution. It has such a prestigious team behind it that it's a hollow shame that it fell short so much. Lu Over The Wall is much more my taste.
I just swallowed that shit so hard growing up, and tried to BE the perfect MPDG, but real life MPDG behavior is destructive and withering for your soul. It made it easy for people to take advantage of me in every aspect of my life. I was so caught up in a quirky selfless identity that when shit went bad, I could only see my percieved shortcomings instead of the parasitic people sucking me dry.
Eh I kinda found a lady and we kinda were each other's manic pixie type thing. We met at a mutual friend's outing that I didn't want to go to. We ended up chasing each other literally half way around the world. So many plane trips. We both got to experience different cultures, countries and lives. Now we are married and overall it's been the happiest time of my life. We argue over things and stuff sometimes but we both changed each other's lives for mostly better and always come back to our love and respect of one another. Keep trying, seriously you never know when one little chance or effort will lead to a literal whole new world that you would never dream of. If I had gone back in time to a year or so after college and told myself what my future held, I wouldn't have believed it.
I mean, good for you. Not everyone is as lucky and the break-up is never easy.
Thats just a having a good relationship with someone
wonderful video, thanks for telling your story as well, it really helps emphasize the point
wishing you all the best! hope you have a nice day and for the sad to go away
Thank you : )
Your personal experiences were very Interesting to listen too. I like the way you word things
sharing your personal thoughts and experiences on this trope really resonated with me. i wonder idly how many times i’ve just been a tool for other people to use on their journeys of personal growth. and how many times they have been the same for me.
I've been waiting for a video like this for a long time. I've had a similar unrequited experience in high school for a good friend that I had held a crush on for way too long. She entertained my approaches and at times made approaches herself. I was... ignorant, and blinded by my own feelings for someone I couldn't see myself without, while not taking in the fact that we never dated. A couple group outings, some late night texts, but never truly... committing. She ghosted me one last time post-highschool and within a matter of a few years, dated, married and had a kid with someone else. I cursed her, cursed myself, but more than that I cursed all the time I wasted. I'm very much over it and as you put it so well, despite how I felt she handled the situation, we had different priorities and expectations. Thanks for the vid man, fr. Now I gotta watch FLCL again.
Been listening to this video every week. helps alot
Oh wow, this is probably my favorite video I've put together, but I didn't imagine it could mean that much. Thank you!
@@ProfessorViral honestly one of my favorite videos on TH-cam. You have a talent for this for sure. I'll always be a fan of this channel.
I found your channel recently looking for fun FLCL content and just wow. I keep being blow away with every video and analysis. Looking forward to seeing what comes next!
God you're such a real one. Love the personal experiences you share
This was a really awesome and insightful video. The emotions that you talk about are so true and relatable, ya know. Anyone I enjoyed it
Thank you very much : )
Amazing video essay man! I was invested all the way through :0
Thank you! : )
i do think i have this issue but from the perspective of being “the change”. im one of those wild loud risk takers who dance like nobody’s watching in public and challenges people to do something new. i’m one of those people who always walks around with a smile on my face and persuades people to come along to parties and events.
i feel terrible about it. i feel so terrible that i’m unable to genuinely change the people who are so happy to see me. i feel like a side character in other people’s boring lives and as much as i dont want to keep being that way, i always end up tangling myself up with someone who’s not that interesting, someone who silently begs me to be their change. so i do it and at some point they get tired of my excitement and my bubbles so i wander off, because i feel like my work is done.
then i’ll see them around the school or around town and they’re still just…waiting for someone to change them again. like my time meant nothing. like i failed.
i don’t even know if this makes sense but geez, shoutout to the monochrome personalities who wait for an mpd, y’all are fascinating
Damn, I have never heard of an experience like yours. Ironically I can and have been of those people who expect that a partner will change my life for the better an in a way "fix me" until we move on or smt.
After being rejected by what I would feel to be a great girl, I've begun wondering "I have no desire to form a family with her, we honestly don't have chemistry, why do I bother so much"
Until I realized I view her as hope rather than a person, and honestly nobody changes on hope, they do in action.
I hope you find somebody as incredible and unique as you, but not in a quirky way, just somebody honest and loyal. Don't waste time on those who view you as hope.
Geez, that's an interesting way to think about my last relationship. My ex literally said that he felt like I was "good for him". He lost interest when I started calling him on his bs, I guess a good conversation piece doesn't speak 🥴. I was definitely his unicorn manic pixie gamer girl.
I think the thing is people like that have deeper issues that need addressed by professionals. MPDGs (to them) are a band-aid on a bad wound. It stops the bleeding for a bit, but you still need to get stitches. The thing is some people don’t realize this and just look for the next band-aid.
If I was less of a hermit, I’m sure I’d love being with a manic pixie dream person. The thing is what I’m craving is mental health, which can’t be fixed by a single individual. Medicine, doctors, and (good) therapy is what helps long-term.
It’s not that your time meant nothing, it’s that they don’t realize they need genuine medical help, not a person.
That’s one of the reasons why I love Beautiful Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. It plays the trope realistically. Clementine isn’t a MPDG, she just has depression and is trying her best to live. Joel might see her as one, but that’s on him, not her.
@@DeathnoteBB *eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, but thank you for reminding me to finally watch that movie
This is a great break down of the trope, and I especially like your break down of FLCL. I loved FLCL and wanted to be Haruko haha.
Subbed. Liked. Looking forward to watch through the rest of your video essays!!! 💖💖💖💖💖💖
Thank you! This is probably still my favorite, so I'm always happy to see it's still found and enjoyed
I just want to say that while its normal for people to be selfish, there is also a limit to how selfish we can accept others being. If someone is highly engaging and complimentary at first - getting you all wrapped up in what they think - and switches on a dime one day to disregarding you, that's not something that's right: it's someone who never even once gave consideration for yourself, only for themselves. It's important to realize it's not your fault, because what looked like affection was never affection in the first place. It was just how they learned to get what they want, and once they got it or became bored, there was no reason to bother with it anymore.
We can confidently say this behavior is wrong, because of how much it hurts people. It wasn't the switch to the disregard that hurt, even though it seemed like that at the time. It was the fact, from beginning to end, they had zero respect for you.
There is no shame in admitting you picked a bad person to invest yourself in, because it is the truth - lies are things like "I made my own mistakes, so I cannot judge them", "I've learned and things will be better if I interact with someone like them again", and "I didn't deserve anything else." Everybody deserves to be surrounded by people of good nature. A good natured person can also be a fuck up, rude, inconsiderate, and even a walking hazard sign: but what cannot be accepted, and should never be settled for, is someone who treats you like a toy. It doesn't matter their circumstances, how much sympathy they extracted from you, or how afraid you are of upsetting them. Such people feed off your better nature, and leave you hurt and confused and blaming yourself.
The answer isn't to better yourself, or figure out what happened, or close off your trust. It is, very simply, to expect others treat you with a minimal level of respect. If they don't, still expect respect from yourself.
I obviously don't know for sure how much of this applies to or helps with what you went through, but it might. That's good enough for me to awkwardly share what is totally not a thing that happened to me, promise.
Sometimes, I feel like I can't say how much applies myself. My perception of my losses are clouded by my negative view of myself. I'll always look at things that go wrong as my fault. I know it's not true, but its hard to break that mindset. But the first step is recognizing it, and hearing such kind, and true things helps. So thank you for that, I appreciate the kind comment : )
Good comment, thanks.
That’s silly. Obviously, if you end up investing in a bad person, the responsibility to 1) know what you’re worth and expect to be treated as such and 2) recognize bad investments and avoid them, falls on you. It is up to you to better yourself. Otherwise, you’ll just be left bouncing between people who don’t care about you.
Oh shit. I've done that. Thank you for calling me out, jesus christ.
It was interesting to hear your perspective and how you came to the conclusion you did even if I don’t really agree wholeheartedly.
I feel like manic pixie dream people do exist IRL, but like you said their motivations ARE in some part selfish
Usually people who want to help others better themselves obviously have a deep seated personal reason to do so, but regardless it does happen :)
The good part is, like you said that means they’re not doing things to 100% serve that person they want to help, but I definitely don’t think that factor is ever fully removed.
Hurt people hurt people, but it’s equally likely for them to want to help you instead, that doesn’t necessarily mean its about you, and thats probably for the best.
Loved your video, I learned a lot :)
This was great. Very thought provoking.
Thank you, that's always my goal!
I comprehand that this trope and the traits that these characters have are bad, and something about existing for someone else that is sadly relatable. Sometimes i feel like i only have worth as a person if i am somebody's favorite person, if i do all i do for them, if i spend every moment trying to make them feel happy and better. This also makes me feel responsible for anything bad that hapens to them and for any time they feel sad. I feel like i exist for others, and i feel selfish for wanting them to love me back, for them to want me around, to have someone care about me like i do about them. And when i do get some love i feel amazing, even if it is just half as much as i usually show them. Recently my best friend asked me if i was okay after i deleted some things i sent to him and didn't say anything after and i got emotional after it. I don't know when i started defineing myself by what i can do for others, and i know it isn't good, but i cannot stop.
Your cadence is nearly IDENTICAL to super eyepatch wolf, it’s eerie… Definitely think your channel is going to blow up soon
I hope so, but I'm always happy to have what I do so far!
Holy shit that's why it seemed so familiar
This is a beautiful little video essay. Thanks for sharing. x
No problem, thank you for checking it out : )
You told a real human story, thanks for that. Excellent video.
Hi! I recently found your channel and have been slowly making my way through your analysis videos. They are so fascinating. I recognize a lot of the themes, but you articulate them in a way that turns them from vague feelings into concrete ideas that I can apply to my own media analysis or narrative ideas. While they don't exactly fit into the manic-pixie-dream-girl trope, I was reminded of Nezuko from Demon-Slayer and Rin from Naruto, both whose purpose is to motivate the male characters. While there is something to be said about characters who have a inherent moral imperitive, or simply get enjoyment from helping others, no human being is completely selfless. It's both unrealistic and makes for a flat character. And the fact that they didn't put in the effort to give them their own agency or explore their reasons for or ramifications of acting that way frustrates me because it's a waste of a character that could have communicated a unique viewpoint and made the narrative more impactful, like your example of Haruko. Whew, didn't expect that to get so long, but your videos encourage me to be active in my own life and to keep striving to be better despite my fear. Thank you for taking the leap of your own to build this channel. I truly hope you succeed :)
another really good subversion of the MPDG trope is Welcome to the NHK, but it also doesn't subvert the trope by making the MPDG the villian.
Damn... That's pretty touching. As someone who kinda feels like I'm being the manic pixie dream girl in a (friendship not technically relationship - polyamorous stuff weird) at the moment it both worries me and excites me. Because I really do love her and I want to help her to change and grow and get out of the ditch she's caught in and I'm loving every second of it but I worry about what happens next - what happens when she's out of that ditch. Do I really have a purpose any more? I'm content with the idea that relationships for me generally run their course in a relatively short amount of time but... It would be nice to feel in a place where I truly feel like a relationship will carry on forever. Then again, I'm only just in my 20s so I have a long time to work that out... But with more relationships than I can count on my hands in the past two or three years l worry. The one that's been a constant that whole time has just ended officially tonight, but I've been expecting it for a while. I just knew it would never last. Maybe this is just how my life will be? Drifting in and out of different friendships and relationships.
But anyway enough of my ramblings on life. It was an amazing video and it really hit home, which is refreshing when most videos on the topic are so surface level and devoid of emotion.
I really wish you all the best with finding someone (or someone's) that you can fall in love with. It's such a beautiful feeling and don't let the failures get you down, this is just how stuff plays out sometimes. You seem like a really interesting person to talk to, you look great (and I'm a lesbian so that's high praise 😋) and you seem really nice. So I'm sure you'll find someone!!
Thanks I appreciate the kind words
You just made my day
"Do I really have purpose anymore?" Is NOT a question to go unanswered *before* any type of relationship let alone in the midst of or at the end of one. That implies you haven't built enough of a relationship with your own self TO share with anyone else. Your "purpose" for existing should not be rooted in someone else (living or dead), and you have an opportunity now to get to know who it is you're really sharing before to try to morph yourself to fit what you *think* is someone else's dream. In this area, I scold because I care for your well being: Do better.
All that said, it seems you may have a sensitive heart if you're doing so much to proc a positive response from your loved ones. That's not a bad thing in and of itself, but motivation and boundaries will make or break your efforts. [In your early 20s, right?] Dig into why it's so important for you, specifically you, to take responsibility for anyone else's feelings, perceptions, or mood outside of managing your own. Nab a therapist if that helps, but reaaally sit with it.
Final thought and hint: give yourself the same comfort, compassion, and kindness you gave to a stranger on the internet in your last paragraph. It's very sweet. I can't imagine this sweet person telling me I have no purpose in life if I don't "make" others happy (you can't "make" anyone do or be anything), yet here they are, doubting their own worth... [Yes, vast internet citizens that may have come across my posts before, I know... pot & kettle, doesn't invalidate my point!]
You are enough. You don't have to become anyone's dream. Just you, the way you are, you are enough. Plus, you already spat out some good advice for you to use, ya? 😉
@@savvivixen8490 Thanks, that does really mean a lot.
I think I'd phrased that a little misleadingly... It was more of a - "what do I feel like I can offer in a relationship other than the promise of change?" But I am definitely working on that and thinking about that, maybe a therapist would be a good idea 😅
And in terms of boundaries I've definitely been working on them but I'm at least at the point where I understand I'm not good at setting them which I a start I guess 😅
But yeah... I really should start turning more of my compassion inwards, that's an incredibly sensible idea lol. This doesn't apply to most of my relationships or friendships etc. thankfully. It was just this one in particular which really resonated with the video.
Sorry if it sounded at all like the having a purpose part was directed outwards, it was very much just how I feel personally. I still haven't really found a purpose in life, but I have a reason for living in chasing new interesting experiences. Not really ideal, but it keeps me going and it's a lot of fun 🙂
@@sicariusaf Peace to you and for you on your life journey. Happy trails! 😁
Damn this video is raw af, I had a simmilar experience to you lately and damn. You went trough almost the same thing as me, now we gotta live on and keep being the best version of ourselves
For sure; it's all we can do
Editing is amazing. Way above your subscriber class.
Thank you very much : D
Been having a rough go with life. Relationships, work, the mundane day to day of adult life. Still trying to find "Me", and all the stuff you would see in a book or movie. Dreaming about a possible future. Grandiose, with true love, and some excitement! But life isn't like that. There are tons of regrets, and beating up one's self over mistakes and missed opportunities.
I wanted something more. Hell a "Dream person" who would come in and take charge and lead me away from my routine. Even if a person does come into my life to do this. I, like many, need to do the changes on my own. For myself. Yes, have some selfish reasons, but the true change, the change of perspective needs to come from within.
Your video, voice, the music. All of it hit really hard tonight. My heart is aching, but at the same time I really want to see life again. I want to slowly change. Maybe things will get better. Perhaps I can move on from what is hurting this heart. Or perhaps I can heal, still desire some of what I lost, but become content with moving forward in a way that respects the past but leads to a better future.
Perhaps many of us who are typing our life stories in this comment section will comeback in a few months, maybe a year. We'll type up how things are going. Hopefully better, or about stories of healing. Maybe some of us bought a Vespa?
Thank you for this video. The effort, the way you frame it. It is fantastic.
Thank you for the wake up call for so many of us. Even if it wasn't the intention.
I recognize your pictures! Great video bub!
Bro you be spitting fire
Thanks!
..This was quite insightful, nice video!
Thank you, happy to hear that : )
I really appreciated this analysis, great video. It focuses more on a broader social angle rather than a feminist or other political perspective.
In middle school about a decade ago I made a youtube poop edit of that bizarre laughing scene from FFX, and later deleted it because I was afraid of kids from school finding it and thinking I'm a nerd. I've dug for the original files but it's gone, I regret destroying it so much I've considered creating it again. Such a loss.
Thats tragic, I low key consumed years worth of YTP back in the day. I still keep an eye on new King of the Hill ones from time to time
Man you make great videos they are nice discussions. But yeah honestly I want to say I struggle with being the manic pixie type. But I kind of hate the fact it’s my love and wanting to help loved ones is how I get my happiness.
I get I need to worry about myself. But that feels so lonely
legit thought this vid would be a playlist of hardcore pixie rock music
You know, thats fair lol
Man oh man, I've had this experience recently. Still in contact with them and now I understand the hang up I've been having. Not anymore though. Time to initiate change for myself and see where that takes me.
God damn it this video did not have better timing as it did this really spoke to me on a deep and personal level reasons I don't have the energy to go in-depth with but being the manic pixie dream girl ideal I wanted to be for this person I realized I need to move on this attachment I have is unhealthy and I need to remove myself from the situation before I hurt anyone else or myself all I can do is value the time we shared and put that stride and effort in being the hero I looked to them as
This is a great and amazingly emotionally powerful video I just subscribed glad to see you grow and what’s in store for the future surprised you don’t have more subscribers I feel as if they’ll come soon.
Thank you very much. I hope I'll be able to make that subscription worthwhile : )
Dude it’s so worth it the amount of Quality and effort you put into this is amazing this is top notch movie level!!!! I’ve watched a few of videos and so far this is my favorite
this was amazing. Ty
No problem, thank you for watching and the kind comment!
only at 9:09 BUT i find your analysis of tidus really interesting because of how the complicated path to bringing him back in x-2 works! since you pretty much have to dedicate your entire playthrough to the quest of reviving him if you want it to work, it kind of feels like a way to remedy his original manic pixie dream status by actually giving back... granted i have yet to play x-2 so this is only based off of what ive read about it, but i still think its interesting!
Love this video and seeing Pittsburgh threw me off. The landscape of the town of flcl always reminded me of flcl. Good to see two things I love in one video
The footage is my way of turning my late night wandering into something productive. This tiny city has some great views, at least
I think the manic pixie dream girl trope is good. It’s not realistic but alot of movies aren’t realistic, it’s a fun fantasy. Some people enjoy to just watch a “turn your mind off” popcorn film or show. The whole role of that character is to be a supportive partner for the main character so as long as the main character is written well and you feel sympathy for him, the romance works well.
I think in the sense of telling a story like that, it can be entertaining. Hell, Your Lie is an amazing series. The problem is we don't always realize how much it can effect our desires in the real world. When too many stories use it, it just seems like something normal, and to be expected. Some people won't be effected by it, but others will. It's more of a human fault than anything else, were complex creatures who really want to be simple
@@ProfessorViral agreed. With your lie in april I agree with the video with how the story is a bit ridiculous. I’m fine with kaori being so selfless, some people are just like that. My issue is that she revolved her entire life around one guy. That’s kinda stupid but I still like the show. Like I said if you make the main character well written then the romance still works because the dream girl is supposed to support the character.
Wooawh! This was such a pleasant watch :,) Through my recent months of life I've been thinking more about how we as humans are and that we have opinions and the beautiful part about them is the ability to disagree: and when you do that in a way to further your own understanding and beliefs you realise that you as human can learn so much from the world around you even when it spins the other way... The common issue with disagreeing is that when looking around it always sparks a fight but aren't we a diplomatic society?
As I have gotten older I have learned to look for things on my own that make me happy. As I've grown I've found that the only thing I really want relationship is partner is comfort and support because the world doesn't really offer that to a person who lives their life how they desire. Either you are comfortable or you do what you want, comfort is stability and convenience.
I'm finding that a lot myself. I can either live how I want, or live with stability, but not both. It's made me feel similar about partnerships, when faced with that dichotomy I want someone who can ease the discomfort, make stability more personal and worthwhile
@@ProfessorViral Yeah... but I often find myself wondering if other people find it a fair trade haha. maybe i'll never know
"You, Shirou Emiya, are a manic pixie dream girl."
-- Archer, probably.
Incredible video my guy
This is the most beautiful video I have ever seen
That means a lot, thank you : )
@@ProfessorViral anytime 😊
Manic pixie dream girls are the lonely guy version of a knight in shining armor.
The change story sounds like you had a beautiful relationship. It’s nice felt like I know what you fell
This is spectacular man
I’m so glad I found this video
Same here! Glad you enjoyed it!
the borderline pixie dream girl
bro dis was on my recommended for a whole week now i'm here finally here now you got a subscriber 🙂
Hey, thanks for sticking around! : D