WHY ARE YOU ATTRACTING TOXIC MEN? by RC Blakes

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 9 ก.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 615

  • @DanaeLaurenTolbert
    @DanaeLaurenTolbert 2 ปีที่แล้ว +577

    During my college days, I had a psychology professor who was a former a psychologist. He would always say, "What's discussed in this room stays in this room." We were speaking on a sensitive subject and I broke down in class. I had a lot of unresolved childhood issues. He was very kind and recommended me to another professor who was a licensed psychologist. It was the best thing that I have agreed to do. We would meet as needed. I didn't have to pay a dime. That was a blessing. I started my healing journey and grew to love Danaé. I highly recommend therapy. God bless all of those who are on the pathway to healing.

    • @nattyb2924
      @nattyb2924 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      This is so inspiring to me! Want to do it but unable to afford at the moment so I'm working towards it!

    • @MsEconway
      @MsEconway 2 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      @@nattyb2924 sis I think that money doesn't have to be the issue. See the help came not from having money to seek services. Being vulnerable enough to share your story. When she shared GOD sent the help. Some of the best counselors, don't have a degree. Life lessons taught them😘

    • @DanaeLaurenTolbert
      @DanaeLaurenTolbert 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      @@nattyb2924 Keep looking and ask God to guide you. I pray you become healed and whole in Jesus name

    • @koffeeebrown7221
      @koffeeebrown7221 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I love this ❤️

    • @kayc5804
      @kayc5804 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Thanks for sharing. I think I need to go to a therapist as well.

  • @bosstravels36251
    @bosstravels36251 2 ปีที่แล้ว +176

    I think it's too many toxic men out here? And us Queens have to be real patient nowadays because too many men have the wrong mindset.

    • @Rockstar-kw7bz
      @Rockstar-kw7bz 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Girl !!!

    • @lisaariottiart
      @lisaariottiart 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Much older men often tell me of their extreme disappointment in the behavior of men towards women today.

    • @sheheglows8842
      @sheheglows8842 2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I believe we have to sift through This toxic man but I have done the work and inner works. So I am basically closing the door to relationship. This man out here are broken and I shall protect my peace. In Christ Anointed Mighty name Amen. I am enough and Christ is enough. It not your fault if you attract them. But please do not take the shame that you are the one attracting them. Make sure you heal ans leave those man alone.

    • @bosstravels36251
      @bosstravels36251 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@sheheglows8842 Amen

    • @secreteobsession3584
      @secreteobsession3584 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Exactly that was spot-on and beautifully well said

  • @anabautista8071
    @anabautista8071 2 ปีที่แล้ว +132

    1. Your 'relationships' are rooted on what you believe you deserve; 2. It's rooted in your unhealthy desires; 3. It's rooted in compromised counsel; 4. It's rooted in an approach to relationships that is not in sequential order; 5. Because you never define your non negotiable standards; 6. It is rooted in a massive lack of self love; 7. It is rooted in living with your flesh, rather than in your spirit; 8. It's rooted in desperation.

    • @caut176
      @caut176 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thank you. Now, I can make notes!

    • @michellegarcia9785
      @michellegarcia9785 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Wow thank you!

    • @xigmakonfort3537
      @xigmakonfort3537 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Merci

    • @vanessar2951
      @vanessar2951 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thank you for summarizing!!

    • @csibiedit8046
      @csibiedit8046 ปีที่แล้ว

      I never believed that I deserv such a treatment , in my opinion this statement is totally wrong. Moreover I leaved the relationships with narcissists because I believed that I deserv better.

  • @amerokeewiya1320
    @amerokeewiya1320 2 ปีที่แล้ว +68

    I’ve dealt with men who weren’t my “type” & it STILL wasn’t what I wanted. That’s not always the case. I’m not settling for someone I do not want my type or not.

    • @ActressAyannaTene
      @ActressAyannaTene 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Same. So many people told me to look beyond my type. I did and the guy was the same at heart.

    • @michie4872
      @michie4872 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I think they can sense we broken and they feed of it and that's why they want us bad crazy nasty perverted men. I bless us sisters in the name of Jesus Christ! Can we release the pain of past traumas and we can live in peace❣️ let are minds stop overthinking all the situations we allowed just to feel loved. let's forgive ourselves and leave those bad men in the past and rejoice that we have a choice today to keep going without their presence in our lives, you and me know what is right from wrong we just think we don't deserve the good kind of men and we are attracting this. So believe and recognize that you are better in yourself than with a demon who is praying for your failure. So rise with me for this new year 2022 and let's make a promise to ourselves that we won't associate with that type of man. Okay? Amen!

    • @shanelleharry3871
      @shanelleharry3871 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      AMEN

    • @amerokeewiya1320
      @amerokeewiya1320 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@michie4872 I am not broken & don’t need you to B-LESS me with “Jesus”. I’m good.

    • @la6136
      @la6136 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Same I have give many men a chance that were not my type and they honestly ended up being 100x worse than the guys that were my type so I don't do that anymore! Alot of these ugly guys out here are also the meanest and most toxic

  • @btfields323
    @btfields323 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    After all I've been through with men & the last one one who beat me. I AM DONE! I rather be alone Rev. I have so much peace. I have a home, vehicle, raising my kids, about to get my degree in May. I just don't have the desire for a man anymore. I don't seek companionship, courtship or anything like that. I'm pleased with me.🦋

    • @JeiCris777
      @JeiCris777 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Currently how I feel. Seriously done. No interest in dating. When you are at peace being alone and no companionship. Makes you more dangerous. In a good way…as in you know your worth value, self love sky high.

    • @huskergirl72
      @huskergirl72 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I’m right behind you sis and genuinely happy for you.

  • @deshawndac4163
    @deshawndac4163 2 ปีที่แล้ว +89

    What about the woman who can never attract a man who wants a commitment? Always seemingly attracting men who only want to have sex? And then you entertain them because of loneliness and or wanting/hoping it will lead to a relationship with love and having a family, etc. Just caught in that cycle.

    • @ladyzinada5341
      @ladyzinada5341 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Ger out of that cycle.

    • @JasmineNekole
      @JasmineNekole 2 ปีที่แล้ว +55

      This is a snippet of the notes I wrote for myself from what he said in the video. “If you’re afraid to stand on your boundaries and standards for fear of running him off you’re desperate and you’ll never have what you actually want and deserve. How can you even get what you want if you’re so desperate that you’ll settle for what you don’t want!!!!!!????” I used to be the same way but im not bringing that into 2022 .. you settle for sex when you want commitment out of your desperation. You have to divest from needing the validation of a man and validate yourself first. Get grounded in your own self love before you seek for a man to ground you in his love. I hope that makes sense. Be patient enough to wait for the right man. Men who are worldly and plagued with lust come a dime a dozen, let’s not fall for them anymore. Use your alone time to cultivate a better relationship with yourself and when the right man comes you’ll be ready for him. A man of value doesn’t want a desperate woman.

    • @ak-47intelligence75
      @ak-47intelligence75 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Exactly what I was pondering upon this NY 2022.
      No matter how much I try, I only keep getting the ones who DONT want a commitment / marriage.

    • @amerokeewiya1320
      @amerokeewiya1320 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      He smells desperation

    • @s.c.h6512
      @s.c.h6512 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Been through that for 2021. Until you tell them you're not interested they will leave you alone. Focus on yourself and pray for that right man. God hears you!

  • @pamfigueroa7633
    @pamfigueroa7633 2 ปีที่แล้ว +135

    I am at War with myself. Hardest fight of my Life.Thank you for being my friend, my mentor, my brother, my life coach but most of all my extension to HOPE.

    • @monicawilcox418
      @monicawilcox418 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      You have the victory. You fight from the place of victory not for it. The battle is won through God Almighty. I am claiming it for you sister!

    • @Jujumimi937
      @Jujumimi937 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Remember The Son of God ! Did ALL in the cross for us 😢 very painful😭 for me to discuss and think 💭 how Jesus died 🥺for ALL of our transgressions and in order for us to be freed saved forgiven ☦️we are NOT to worry @ ALL for nothing JUST they prayer 🙏 & supplication we reach Out God 🙇🏻‍♀️ Thank -You And May u see The Light 💡 and leave T he past alone ! I learned to forgive my father NOT talk about The physical abuse I as a preteen suffered Domestic violence Put your full armor on! We hv to kill this flesh every single day just as God gives a brand new Day every morning walk in The Spirit of The Lord AND NADA should bother u 👏🏼 says The Lord we cannot get fleshy The Holy Spirit✨💫✨helps us discern gives us power protects speaks to us shhh 🤫☦️💟☮️🛐

    • @AP-ge3ud
      @AP-ge3ud 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Amen

    • @runningwithscissors1564
      @runningwithscissors1564 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I am with y’all.

    • @thetruehustler1365
      @thetruehustler1365 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Beautifully written!

  • @sabrinatravis9731
    @sabrinatravis9731 2 ปีที่แล้ว +236

    So excited to hear this message cause I believe something is broken in this queens mindset that keeps attracting or settling for broken men. Loneliness is a heck of a tormentor! 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

    • @elena-jp6ge
      @elena-jp6ge 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Once you embark on the non accepting bs from noone, starting yourself first, you will see how healthy you eat, speak, think. Also, you will see how false friendships and connections break before your eyes. Some might break your heart, but if it was based on bs, it has to go. You're gonna be left in a circle of a few, if you're lucky. If not, you will be keeping on your own. It's worth it. Good luck 🍀🙏🏻

    • @j.j2846
      @j.j2846 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@elena-jp6ge you literally described exactly what happened to me. I've never been so content, healthy and confident in my life 🙌🏾

    • @elena-jp6ge
      @elena-jp6ge 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@j.j2846 yeah 😎 keep going, work on your qualities and trust the divine timing. It has to be a timing both for you and your partner 🙏🏻🌌👑🎈❤️

    • @enigmaticladypisces3169
      @enigmaticladypisces3169 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Keep going beautiful. You’re not alone. We got this! 🙏🏾

    • @j.j2846
      @j.j2846 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@elena-jp6ge Thank you lovely! You too xx

  • @tonitaquetaparks3304
    @tonitaquetaparks3304 2 ปีที่แล้ว +122

    Sometimes it means that you don't really need to be in a relationship. I think people don't realize the reality of having a relationship. People think of them as a fantasy. Not so much of the hard work that comes to it.

    • @ritadoran5039
      @ritadoran5039 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I agree
      Sometimes we need to be alone not in relationships and work on getting to truly know ourselves
      Happy New Year

    • @teresa28ist
      @teresa28ist 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Where is the offering plate?l lol

    • @Ogechime
      @Ogechime 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Facts, sometimes you just need to stop and breathe. Focus on yourself and your relationship with God

    • @5Luckyducky
      @5Luckyducky 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      No doubt

    • @wilky7920
      @wilky7920 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      This is essential to self growth, even if it is only for a period. That period may be months before you decide to talk to another person even platonically or it may be years. But sometimes we just need to be still. Learn self love ❤️

  • @lynn4134
    @lynn4134 2 ปีที่แล้ว +85

    “You can on connect with another until you heal and center yourself” Preach! ❤️❤️

    • @Jujumimi937
      @Jujumimi937 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Hello Lynn i didnt quite understand your response; uhm 😶 of how “ Connect with another?” DId u mean connect with one another til we heal?…I’m glad we met this Bible speaker🗣 & Author ✍️ He’s an angel 👼🏾 from above 👆🏼 Blessings Sis- Thank -You

  • @crystalgrose
    @crystalgrose 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    “Broken consciousness prevents you from knowing your worth.”

  • @nadinevanderpoorten7416
    @nadinevanderpoorten7416 2 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    I agree, as a woman, we must reflect on what kind of women we follow on social media, if we get into a good relationship, those friends will influence our relationship.

  • @GodsObedientChild-Deuteron6262
    @GodsObedientChild-Deuteron6262 2 ปีที่แล้ว +140

    Bishop, The Holy Spirit always have you bringing the right message(s) at the right time for me!

    • @ronelljohnson5317
      @ronelljohnson5317 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      But some of us single men attract toxic females

    • @Jujumimi937
      @Jujumimi937 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @B Real so true! yes 👍🏼it’s all we know & learn to do and believe it’s real ❤️ AND it’s not hello again; I see find myself leaving u a comment oh ! Boy 😆 🙆🏻‍♀️ GOOD POINT

    • @Carolyn100000
      @Carolyn100000 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Amen!

  • @cassandragalloway7475
    @cassandragalloway7475 2 ปีที่แล้ว +28

    Great information, the only thing I am perplexed about is the fact that it is assumed women base these type of men based off of looks initially. That isn't true all the time. Toxic men come in all forms, even the so called basic looking guy...the ones that are your so called average joe they treat women bad as well. The problem is that in the black community we have a lot of broken men that refuse to get therapy of some form, and you find out after the fact.

    • @missmarya747
      @missmarya747 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Not only in the black community- its widespread.

  • @Reshme77
    @Reshme77 2 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I don't necessarily agree with the issue of a person advice from someone who isn't married
    for instance I was divorced twice (as I used to be a Muslim)
    and it was arranged marriages
    I may not be necessarily able to tell a woman how to keep a man
    but I can tell her how to avoid a potentially evil one
    and I can tell her the precautions she needs to take
    why?
    because I've been through the life of Hard Knocks
    Some people would say:
    "why should we listen to you?
    you've been divorced twice."
    my responses:
    " you should take heed because I've been divorced twice -so I know what not to do!"

  • @truthlightandlife357
    @truthlightandlife357 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    "MY people Shall PERISH for LACK OF KNOWLEDGE "!! Word from the LORD. Glory to God for this PASTOR and Wife!!!!!

  • @smartanajones4u
    @smartanajones4u 2 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    I absolutely enjoy 99% of your videos, however, this one here…. Well let’s just say that when you live in communities saturated and busting at the seams with an abundance of toxic, immature, immoral, underdeveloped, unemployed/underemployed, hyper-sexually promiscuous men who perpetually reck emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual, financial and sexual havoc on the community, you can be the best woman you can be and it’ll still be a challenge to try to keep dodging their toxicity and depravity over and over again (this is why many women choose to stay single rather than to be mired in the minefield of these haphazard men). It’s like 8 or 9x out of 10, a woman’s batting average is gonna be a strike out when it comes to dealing with these derelict men in the community (and if she “chooses better, like the manosphere constantly says, non of them will be born because she wouldn’t really choose them at all). If this wasn’t the case, our communities wouldn’t be in dire straights such as ( just to name just a few issues) a high sky rocketing number of single mothers, rampant poverty, high crime rates, and murder that they commit against themselves, as well as on the women and children in their community. Though their toxicity runs deep, women (acting like the men that men should be) fight on the front lines for them in protests designed to protect and preserve their lives although they wouldn’t do the same for women. It’s men that are responsible for building and being providers and protectors of everything, but the roles are reversed in our community so it’s sure to cause varying degrees of psychologically and emotionally upheaval and harm to women because we weren’t designed for that role. But by default we do it because if we don’t, no one else will. Women can work on themselves til the cows come home and keep seeing themselves as the problem but until these recalcitrant, delusional, ill-willed minded men change, this dynamic will never change. The state of our community (or any community) is a direct reflection of the state of the minds of men who live in it.

    • @teresadockery8043
      @teresadockery8043 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I COULDN’T AGREE MORE!!! OMG, very well said. You hit the nail on the head with this one🎯🎯🎯

    • @ysmithriley
      @ysmithriley 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Sis, I'm afraid I respectfully disagree as far as the single-mom dynamic you reference. Apparently, things went out of order as Pastor states in his message. The order should be ABCDE, not EDCBA. You state "SINGLE" women are having babies at an alarming rate with no commitment from men. What happened to the woman getting married first and then having a baby? If single women are becoming moms, it means neither she nor her boyfriend took the precaution to prevent the pregnancy. Birth control is so readily available to women there is no reason for an unwanted pregnancy. There are some accidents for sure, but there is NO WAY all of these single moms are an accident. The time to determine a man is "TOXIC" isn't after a woman has become pregnant.

    • @j.j2846
      @j.j2846 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Whew! This is so true. My heart hurts for our communities 💔

    • @kumajoey6031
      @kumajoey6031 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      I would really love for him to make content aimed towards the men. He only does short videos on the men and he doesn't go deep on their issues. I feel like there are no men online who actually speak to bm. If they really cared for the community they would address both genders but it's always up to us to be perfect.

    • @chevaunj8532
      @chevaunj8532 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@kumajoey6031 This right here! I really wonder what would happen if every woman were the picture of perfection, would men actually acknowledge their flaws (in themselves and each other) or would it suddenly be "women are too perfect; they're on their high horse"? There's really no winning in this world as a woman, and that's something I recognized in late middle school/early high school. That "boys will be boys" mentality reigns from infancy through adulthood. Even how men and women value each other is unbalanced. Millions of women are constantly watching videos, reading books, etc. on how to be better (wife-worthy) women for a man (not even a quality man, or a good man, just a -- read any -- man). But how many men are watching videos, listening to podcasts, reading books, etc. to learn how to be better men for women? And not just to get with women sexually, but how to attract quality women for solid, healthy, serious relationships and marriage?

  • @marhki
    @marhki 2 ปีที่แล้ว +110

    So excited for this! Prayed the 4 prayers to break soul ties earlier today, and freedom feels soo good 🙌🏾. Praise God for this MOG to minister to the captive and broken-hearted.

    • @Jujumimi937
      @Jujumimi937 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Yes sister ! Whoop 🙌 whoop 🙌 Thank You 🙏 Jesus ! Yee 😎 🎤 FREEDOM FEEDOM 🎶 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m just singing this word 🤦🏻‍♀️ haha 😂

    • @ingridmarrero8470
      @ingridmarrero8470 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Praise the Lord that's Wonderful! What 4 prayers? Information Please and Thank You!!!

    • @marhki
      @marhki 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@ingridmarrero8470 It was from his video-Prayers to break Soul Ties. An awesome Sis in the comment section actually wrote the prayers out and I made sure to copy them. All four prayers cover different areas to prayer over to break soul ties very powerful!

    • @marhki
      @marhki 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Jujumimi937 😊 yess!

    • @missgeorgia2996
      @missgeorgia2996 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What is the 4 prayers to break the soul tie please?

  • @blkbutterfly7618
    @blkbutterfly7618 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    RC my daughter isn’t even a teenager yet but I already decided a couple years ago I will require her to listen to many of your videos as she grows older. ----You are the father I never had and you will be that grandpa for her. Blessings to you! I thank you for what you do for women all over the world. You are the truth!

  • @bridgettetraveler658
    @bridgettetraveler658 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Many of us didn't have GODLY parents! My parents were toxic & made me feel like I didn't deserve anything! I realized I didn't trust GOD for decades because I didn't grow up with anybody I could trust! GOD allowed me to fall so hard yrs ago until I could do nothing but trust him! GOD showed me that he is almighty! He has provided everything for me & I call JEHOVAH the GOD of beyond imagination! It's hard for me to believe all the great things GOD has done for me!!!

    • @mohussle5844
      @mohussle5844 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you for saying that. I felt you fr.

  • @Dr.J1972
    @Dr.J1972 2 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    I am praying that I honor my non-negotiable list when meeting a mate. 🙏🏽

  • @sharhughes1086
    @sharhughes1086 2 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    We have to use our discernment that's God telling us that's not me, but sometimes we don't listen until it's to late we than let the enemy in! Now when a guy tries to talk to me my antennas go up my spirit is screaming nope not him he's dysfunctional chaos follows him! And I'm never wrong when I feel that low level energy!

    • @lisaanderson6920
      @lisaanderson6920 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      This is a very on Point comment . I have to Agree with You ! One has to be able to decipher, as Well as to Discern. About these toxic Men ( Spirits ) . The Truth is being Spoken. AMEN . ❤️😊

    • @overcomerbtboj
      @overcomerbtboj 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes i’m with you- i had to learn this the hard way - but my discernment level is up

  • @nettiemarie2556
    @nettiemarie2556 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Root cause is brokenness. In other words, lack of healing, disconnected from your consciousness, distanced from your worthiness and ergo injured emotionally, physically and spiritually. Get into a healthy balanced place! Why couldn't this have been produced 25 yrs ago? Lol. Great MOG!!

  • @lisabooker8660
    @lisabooker8660 2 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    I have learned it came from my mother and siblings. When i was confident and working in my purpose. These are the words they all spoke to me. They spoke so much negative things over my life. But i said no more on my way to healing thru therapy.

  • @mlempolk
    @mlempolk 2 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    I stopped dating a long time ago. I felt fearful of repeating bad mistakes from the past - how do you learn to trust again?

    • @angelinaradiance9661
      @angelinaradiance9661 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      💯💯💯

    • @lisaanderson6920
      @lisaanderson6920 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Pray and Believe by the Faith Principle, that GOD ! Will lead and Truely direct your path . And give You ! The True Spirit of Discernment and To be able to Decipher a Clown, a Loser, a uncommitted, unavailable Man . And keep Silent, and Quiet when , seeing these ( Red Flags ) in these Toxic Men, and Some Women too . It’s Truely is about One,s choice .

    • @authenticme5708
      @authenticme5708 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Learn as much as you can about codependency. Read Steve Harvey's book, 'Talk like a lady, Think like a man. Be the Queen, and interview men. If they can't answer the questions or feel uncomfortable, NEXT.
      Love yourself. Write down what you want in a relationship and follow Steve's questions and give the 90 day probation. Do not give your power away. Boundaries keep you safe! Emotional security and emotional safety is up to you! We decide what happens in a relationship, not the man! Be intentional. He has alot of wisdom that has given me courage to stand my ground now. I traumatized myself by not seeing red flags and stuck around instead of running. God allowed me to see where I went wrong when I dated a covert narcissist. Look at how you were injured as a child and the behavior of your parents. Most likely we choose people like one of our parents. Learning what loving yourself is, is where you will find your authentic you. God bless you.

    • @authenticme5708
      @authenticme5708 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Also, I have forgiven my parents as they did not/do not know that their unaddressed childhood wounds are still affecting their relationships with their daughters even today. They say, " I put my past behind me " and don't realize their behaviors and how they communicate in passive-agressive is still part of their past because it's behavior since childhood. Denial is comfortable because they don't have to EXAMINE the heart. I have now set boundaries up with my own mother. To keep me healthy and not revert to who I was codepent. Forgiving them was easier than forgiving myself. I have learned to do that too, through a celebrate recovery 12 step Bible based program after my father passed away. I got out of denial and out of depression and realized my value, and began my inner work journey. Interesting experiences on the way. Boundaries are peace❤️

  • @monicawilcox418
    @monicawilcox418 2 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    Bishop this is the best self-help I have ever had in my life. Getting to the ROOT of my issues is imperative for change. It's me o lord not my brother not my sister but me. I am doing the work needed in Jesus name. I thank God almighty for your counsel.

    • @nyny1042
      @nyny1042 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      🎵

  • @Sojourner_TruthBW44
    @Sojourner_TruthBW44 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    They definitely walk out when they see you are serious about what you say, and then call you crazy or something else. I'm use to it now.💯 Amen

  • @peeerlyb.7762
    @peeerlyb.7762 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I know why I have attracted toxic because without knowing it, I was also toxic myself.
    Childhood trauma: my dad was “nice” but used his absence to create fear he would leave us to control us. He would disappear for days when he would argue with my mom with no explanation and when he comes back , he would give us the silent treatment or never speak to us again for day if we complain where he was. If we don’t smile at his bad behaviours, he will disappear again.
    I grew up excusing bad behaviour because that wS the only thing that could keep my dad around. I was scared to bond properly with him but was terrified of seeing him go. I realised I was attracted to men who always run away or never want to be with me or men who may seem genuine at first but when they realise that I can accept bad behaviour, start to play up and behave badly because deep down , I have an unhealthy view of what I shouldn’t accept.
    I have trouble bonding with anyone… I am scared to bond so I gravitate around men who don’t know how to bond.

    • @zurigee6
      @zurigee6 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I relate to the fear, purposeful ignoring,not speaking to me when angry with my mom in addition to other things. Caused me to seek,love acceptance and safety from the wrong person.

    • @diplomatdiplomat2800
      @diplomatdiplomat2800 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@zurigee6 I am so sorry about those unpleasant experiences. Have you been able to speak to a therapist? They are helpful. Your family physician can refer you to a therapist. Affordable counseling services are also available online. Also practice self-acceptance and self-love on regular basis, and things will improve with time. Read books and watch videos on relevant topics. It also helps to build a personal relationship with Jesus Christ because He loves you unconditionally and accepts you as you are. Please consider inviting Jesus into your life as your Lord and personal Savior ❤️❤️

    • @victoriamichelomusale377
      @victoriamichelomusale377 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      This is really sad😭😭😭

  • @kaoshi_kutie
    @kaoshi_kutie 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Thank you so much Pastor !! This was a WHOLE WORD ✨🙏🏼❤️ I realised I have been broken from the Spirit of rejection as a child and being bullied at School/college. and it had seeped through into adult life and being in messy situationships and never truly knowing my value until recently . Seeing a Therapist and working on myself. Self love truly is the best love ❤️ 👑

  • @monicajackson7534
    @monicajackson7534 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I like that Pastor non negotiable. I thought I loved me I see I don't. I put everyone else first.

  • @tykieshawhite2826
    @tykieshawhite2826 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I laugh so hard when he says "they will sniff you out like a shark to blood in the water" Its only funny bc it's so true & so accurate. I rewinded this part 3 times & laugh each time I watched it....I love pastor Blake....& His wife is fierce too I would like to see more of her as well....she serves as an example for receiving counsel on the next level.

  • @sphinxkitty4951
    @sphinxkitty4951 2 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    The message all of us ladies are waiting for!! Thank you pastor, see you at the top ⭐️

  • @vashawnghee3850
    @vashawnghee3850 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    🙏🏿 Wow. Broke Me Down Ok. Everything you said was Fact for me. I had someone tell me also that I don’t have it because I don’t feel I deserve. When you spend your life not being valued or loved it will mess you up. I’ll be 46 this year and it’s a promise to me,myself and I to truly heal now that I know what is really going on . 🙏🏿 I needed this

    • @emilyjade321
      @emilyjade321 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      It’s never too late to take control of your life

  • @priscillaaharper4078
    @priscillaaharper4078 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I love this Pastor and his wife for the dedication they have made as a couple to help people with their relationship issues. One Love to you both.👑👑💖🙌🏾🙏🏾

  • @Jujumimi937
    @Jujumimi937 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Father God This Gentleman is sent from you GOD! Thank You 🙏 FOR me listening 👂🏼 to my sister in Christ a friendship of I’ve 30 yrs. My O’ My Thank You for ME FINALLY LISTENING 👂🏼 yup 👍 Yup 👍 I ❤️ you Eita Pardon me for ignoring being disobedient to The Lord as well… God ALWAYS ARRIVES ON TIME 🕰 NOT A MINUTE LATE ⏰ 🙇🏻‍♀️

  • @cassandragalloway7475
    @cassandragalloway7475 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    And also, why is it assumed women just base things off of sexuality. It's not just about that. Can we discuss how broken men are not getting the help needed, and then we as women get hurt by these broken men. Black women we are strong, and try to help them and in the process we hurt ourselves...let them go sis....

    • @missmarya747
      @missmarya747 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      If we are healed we would see these broken males and know to stay away, pray for God to send them the help they need whatever that may be God knows.

  • @yc5141
    @yc5141 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is harsh to hear. It hurts to realize I’ve been doing everything out of sequence for so many years. But necessary. Thank you pastor 😭😖

  • @jeanniefelix6534
    @jeanniefelix6534 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    That's why those guys are single...a woman doesn't let a great/good responsible man go....that's why I have not bothered w men

  • @UNEPIC9000
    @UNEPIC9000 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    When you decide to Love yourself more than you like the person in your life; you will move on with no regrets.

  • @louisegarner8888
    @louisegarner8888 2 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Romans 8:6, NIV: "The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. Amen" 🙏🔥
    Write out everything you want in a partner and become that yourself, know and enforce your non-negotiables, practice self love to be the change you want to see in the world and wisely choose Spirit over flesh in strong minded now faith! Brilliant and beneficial talk Bishop RC Blakes, much love, respect and gratitude for all you are and share with us all here!! 🙏💝🕊️

  • @junieg3662
    @junieg3662 2 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    You are the best Pastor! Your videos always resonate with me. Can’t wait for yet another gem.

  • @Winning29
    @Winning29 2 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Thank you so much for this most insightful message. I have had the most incredible life except for when it comes to my discernment with men. I have a very strong sense of self, self-love and I value myself. I recently married a covert narcissist who triggers me constantly and prior to your message I was looking for a doctor for him and now I feel like I need to fix my trauma. Thank you so much! I’m stuck in trauma bonding and have a long way to go.

    • @leslieallen5704
      @leslieallen5704 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      No, you are not stuck, and the Jezebel spirit (Narcissist), will kill you. John 10:10. I just left a 10 year marriage. God does not want you to stay in that, and HE did not bring your Husband to you, you chose him.🙏🏾🙌🏾❤️🕊️. Regain who God said you are, not what a Man said you are....God Bless you Sister🙏🏾

    • @Winning29
      @Winning29 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Thank you Leslie 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽 I left this man for nine months and we got back together two years ago. My higher self told me to avoid him when I first met him and I didn’t listen. Obviously my lesson to love myself on a deeper level, trust my intuition and heal my trauma. God bless you! ❤️🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽🤗🤗🤗

    • @lovepeace6028
      @lovepeace6028 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      You are not stuck my dear sister. I was in Narcissist relationship for 16yrs. I got out of it for almost 3yrs now. I am very happy now

    • @leslieallen5704
      @leslieallen5704 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You can only fix you Sister, only the Lord can heal and fix Him. He triggers you because there is something the Lord wants to heal in you🙌🏾...you don't have to stay there...the Lord will give you a way of escape... He has a BETTER Life for you, In Jesus Mighty Name, Amen 🙏🏾. Read Psalms 139, Psalms 18. God Bless you❤️❤️❤️.

  • @katrinaandersonward5938
    @katrinaandersonward5938 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Thank you for this powerful message. I appreciate you as the Dad I never had.

  • @topaz44niki53
    @topaz44niki53 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I am asking myself this question

  • @deshonnedeflorimonte3171
    @deshonnedeflorimonte3171 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Here we go ladies of God another great message

  • @kristilafever7809
    @kristilafever7809 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for caring for this generation, you are a blessing to womankind.

  • @megatronsupreme4822
    @megatronsupreme4822 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I hate how right you are sometimes!

  • @felicitygrace5113
    @felicitygrace5113 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Why do I put up with that? That sentence clicked for me. I think it is more than just not loving and respecting yourself. My understanding after my experiences and self reflection is that I had poor role models that portrayed the concept of "putting up" with a relationship regardless, no matter what. Therefore, they modelled poor standards, poor boundaries, poor self esteem, self respect and self worth and instead of leaving the relationship they " put up" with it because that it the status quo by which society endoctrinates us to stay in the relationship even if it is not healthy

  • @womenwhodate7643
    @womenwhodate7643 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    What a great way to get back to TH-cam in 2022, a little break was good but it feel EVEN BETTER to be back with this type of content! ❤️🙌

  • @keshia3465
    @keshia3465 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I cannot wait for this message. Thx Pastor you read my mind. Lol

  • @bobbijokramm1976
    @bobbijokramm1976 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Thank the LORD for u R.C. Blake....I WONT BE BROKE MUCH LONGER AS I SWORE TO DONATE TO U AND UR WIFE AS U HAVE BLESSED MY LIFE IN A WAY I CAN'T DISCRIBE IN WORD‼️💯✨🔱☝️🙏😇🤍

  • @Dr.J1972
    @Dr.J1972 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Pray that I am more conscious when dating in the future.

  • @chantelcarter6874
    @chantelcarter6874 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    My God did this one penetrate the heart. Thank you Bishop for the wisdom and knowledge that you bestow unto me. The father that I never had. I’m so grateful to have run across your channel.

  • @ladyjei
    @ladyjei 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    There are so many wonderful epiphanies in this one video. The Spirit was moving. I listened to this 3 times back to back while writing and releasing trauma today. THANK YOU

  • @marthajackson7537
    @marthajackson7537 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I needed this teaching 30 years ago. Some women have no self worth because the effects of sexual abuse. Our standards were broken before we knew we had them.

    • @mbalimabaso9485
      @mbalimabaso9485 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think I'm one of those women, was molested when I was very young, I think that's the course of inner wound, the relationships traumas came now.

  • @nancysoriamedina9850
    @nancysoriamedina9850 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Greetings from Argentina !!!

  • @cherissec2460
    @cherissec2460 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Its hard to ask married woman how to have a happy healthy marriage etc cause I haven't met one yet that looks happy in their marriage most look so drained

  • @tiffanypaul3444
    @tiffanypaul3444 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I know you said you aren’t a counselor but I’ve gotten more from this video than I have from a year in therapy. Thank you so much, I’ve subscribed. God Bless You.

  • @eaglecreations0309
    @eaglecreations0309 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Thank you for all your great wisdom and knowledge that you share with us through Jesus 🙌🏾!!!

  • @nicholeharriott8496
    @nicholeharriott8496 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Bishop RC Blakes I appreciate your words that are such an inspiration to me. I listen to you while at work multitasking, keeps me rooted from everyone’s negativity around me. God bless and keep you 🙏🏿

  • @Ashley-fg2mu
    @Ashley-fg2mu 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    No, just so broken that ive avoided relationships with men , period. For 3 years.
    I'm 29, I'm tired.

  • @tykieshawhite2826
    @tykieshawhite2826 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    There is definitely a need for you pastor Blake not just in a religious sense but in a sense of a father figure for all of us daddyless daughters like myself that don't have that balance of masculine energy providing leadership knowledge and wisdom I so thank God for you, you are truly needed in our community

  • @Kashmir-lt4cx
    @Kashmir-lt4cx 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I love your gate analogy, let the right one in, keep the wrong one out! But do Not wall yourself up
    When a female has non-negotiables she raises her vibration to subconsciously attract a higher character/higher quality man of value!
    But yes we need to be alone, acknowledge, process, heal, transcend our traumas. We need to get calm, happy, and content with ourselves!

  • @user-su3ir1fg7s
    @user-su3ir1fg7s 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Always had high hopes. The people in my life all misrepresented themselves and their motives. Eventually their deception revealed itself. I've become more guarded and distrusting and currently working on myself. God will let me know when I'm ready for any close incounters

  • @reshaundaliv9176
    @reshaundaliv9176 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Amen to all this, there's many people hurting and wanting better but won't do the work (healing) that it requires, because being in the wrong relationship is a thousand times worst than labor pains...

  • @sheheglows8842
    @sheheglows8842 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    No Woman or Man should take accountability for any broken person they are many now in the world. In the last days the Love of many will wax cold. Make sure you protect yourself from this roaming spirit looking to steal, kill, and destroy you through a connection of relationships.

  • @nadinevanderpoorten7416
    @nadinevanderpoorten7416 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I am not looking right now, I just broken up with someone in November 2021, I am fully focusing on my own life. If I am meant to be with someone God, will make it happen for me, I put my love life in God's hands. I don't do sexual pictures on social media, than most women, that is a standard I put for myself.

  • @nardoshabte5294
    @nardoshabte5294 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I actually never comment on anything, but this one, sheesh, this message was real.
    Thank you!
    Love from Amsterdam.

  • @dogefazbear1110
    @dogefazbear1110 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Truth told staying unhealthy deisres True another good teaching Pastor Blake's

    • @dogefazbear1110
      @dogefazbear1110 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Baggageslow self-esteem tangerine 🌎 woo pastor0h myLord we will
      By

  • @constantinak6648
    @constantinak6648 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have been in toxic relationships back to back for the last ten years. I think I have very bad luck. And, now I'm so broken down that I refuse to date again. I have given up entirely on any man. I have a fear of getting involved with another abuser. So, I have given up on romantic relationships.

  • @user-yo6zy5cg2z
    @user-yo6zy5cg2z 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I was brought up in poverty middle class then comfortable living which lasted one year and a half. I saw abuse and death. Then I moved back to just making it. I became a seeker for comfortable but I could only find it working as a maid. Men carry a lot of pain just like women. Really learn to know a man father and mother before opening your legs. 🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭🎭

  • @marthalopez6662
    @marthalopez6662 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you Bishop RC Blakes Jr. many blessings.

  • @lovelavinne
    @lovelavinne 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Sir I love you and you are so true, helpful and funny!! I’ve learned so much from your teachings. God bless you!

    • @RCBlakesJr.
      @RCBlakesJr.  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you 🙏🏽

  • @-H4mburger-
    @-H4mburger- 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Many women grew up with fathers who are narcissistic abusive manipulators unfortunately, unless they heal aware also awake it will be very difficult to not attracted the same because it's familiar or even worse both parents were and still in their lives.
    It's what they know love be raised in.

  • @RealHughFlynt
    @RealHughFlynt 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Solid GOLD King! It’s NOT Forgetting That Heals... It’s REMEMBERING!💯

  • @buggnita8094
    @buggnita8094 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Pastor! I absolutely love your teachings. What a great wealth of knowledge and keeping it real. I've forwarded your channel to one of my daughters. Hope she listens. God bless you and your miniseries.🙏

  • @earthreign
    @earthreign 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It is so amazing that some women used to complain about Kevin Samuels tone and his response was the same as yours, If you and him couldv'e met and collaborated it would've been epic.

  • @tevaristorres8535
    @tevaristorres8535 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I think it’s more of what you entertain. I’m fearfully and wonderfully made so I will attract all kinds of people but it’s what I entertain that causes the drama. Set your standards and don’t budge. I’m alone a lot but I’m at peace and willing to stay single until.

  • @vaclinciapounds8859
    @vaclinciapounds8859 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This message is going to be good! I can't wait! 😊

  • @brittanyb5942
    @brittanyb5942 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    #6 is a BIG one for me but I'm working on it ❤️

  • @diamondjack-cooper5322
    @diamondjack-cooper5322 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What has dominated me , I will now take authority over.
    A word
    AMEN 🙏

  • @ritadoran5039
    @ritadoran5039 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again .....expecting A Different result I'm not doing that anymore regarding bad relationships I gather data as u say pastor I discern,,,,listen learn and go
    🐌 SLOW.......... sober and alert in 2022 ......walk with me Jesus 💚💙💯

  • @chandrabosley5554
    @chandrabosley5554 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This message is right on time,Look at God work through this man of God. I deserve greatness!!!My daughters deserve this 🙏🏾 Amen.

  • @estherharing4235
    @estherharing4235 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This one hit me hard, keep breaking the chains of the devil by opening our minds to the reality. You rock men!

  • @lequichegreene6107
    @lequichegreene6107 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Pastor said "stand up & stand on business." Amen sir. I wonder if he knows he's speaking the language of the youth.

  • @onixmoreno8642
    @onixmoreno8642 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I value your videos more than words can explain! I have benefited tremendously from your advice. Whoever I feel most messages are focused on us females almost feel blamed for ending up in a bad relationship. It would be nice to hear videos directed to the men...they also need to receive advice about their brokenness. It's only fair.

    • @simonespencer2244
      @simonespencer2244 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hi my sis, greetings from Jamaica. I know it doesn't seem fair but as the song says, each one reach & teach one. So when you meet a broken toxic man YOU tell him that he needs therapy/healing & if he leaves let him go. Everyone that comes into your life, look at them first as ministry/evangelism & redirect them to Jesus Christ/therapist. God bless!!!

  • @trulycay5714
    @trulycay5714 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    that's was once me in my 20"s I'm 50 now God had his hands on me people say why you don't have a man I said I do Jesus he's been the best. I've been about my father's business me so grateful I'm still healing however I'm at my final stages now I realize now I can't be around certain people that remind me of my past. they are triggers I have LOW TOLERANCE

  • @beverlyjordan3791
    @beverlyjordan3791 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Sometime they donot show the bad side of themselves until its to late some husbands have killed their wives none of us know exactly what we are getting at all

  • @Kashmir-lt4cx
    @Kashmir-lt4cx 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    @5:27 yes it is sooo true Pastor RC blakes Jr.! father neglected, first male r, now she is chasing after what has been taken, destroyed, abused! 😢 I seen it too many times!

  • @luifdls6217
    @luifdls6217 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    After toxic relationships sometimes its can be very hard to trust,, but you gotta really pull yourself together again and heal..its a journey

  • @laetitiautetiwabo5227
    @laetitiautetiwabo5227 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you so much Pastor RC Blakes for your advice, preachings & wisdom.
    I have been watching your videos for a while, and they have really edified me.
    May God continue to bless u & your loved ones!

  • @trulycay5714
    @trulycay5714 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    you said it again CLOWNS GROWN BY AGE BUT NOT MINDSET...

  • @Teal_Moon
    @Teal_Moon ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Compromised council oh my goodness - called me out! At the bar! Gladly haven’t had a drink this year but true!

  • @kjack3211
    @kjack3211 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is good 👍 I feel like we attract who we are. If we're broken we're gonna attract another broken human.

    • @travellady2783
      @travellady2783 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      If that's your individual situation, then I recommend therapy, but this isn't' true for every woman.

  • @jvx5525
    @jvx5525 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Dang you be going in. Plus I like the sound of your voice. Its relaxing. You're a good teacher. Thanks for the lessons. 🙌🏼💖💖

  • @minckasaintcyr2066
    @minckasaintcyr2066 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    A well deserved message 🙏🏽🙏🏽 we need to understand how bad is trauma can affect the mental health and body
    I was abused a year ago until this day my body still not fully healed i felt like I was not apart of my body that’s how bad trauma is . I started therapy and please normalized therapy it will save your life !! Just a FYI 🙏🏽🙏🏽

  • @arlenajohnson8067
    @arlenajohnson8067 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is for me. Thank you Lord for using this vessel to give me this much needed message. I’m listening and receiving it all. Amen and Thank you

  • @AP-ge3ud
    @AP-ge3ud 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Your tone is fine & your council is great ! Good triggers that waken the mind.

  • @Denise_LilsSugarLoafKitchen
    @Denise_LilsSugarLoafKitchen 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you!! May our Lord continue to bless you and yours!! ♥️🙏🏾

  • @TonyaNicole7
    @TonyaNicole7 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This message is whopping me into shape!!!! I really got to get it together! Wow I needed this so badly