Improve Your Confidence with One Simple Trick | Flipping The Script 🤔
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 ธ.ค. 2019
- Today I'm sharing a way to improve your confidence with one simple trick: flipping the script! To put it simply, "flipping the script" is when you catch a negative thought in your head and turn it into a positive--literally "rewriting" your mindset, and ultimately your life.
We've talked before about mindset being the gateway to all the things we want to achieve. In this video, I'll show you how to begin making a habit of flipping the script that will have major benefits for your life as you turn negative thoughts into positive ones.
Yes, I am a public speaker, and I can speak, and sing, at your event. Custom programs are built for your audience around the themes of resilience and strength after major life changes, self-image, and life after oral cancer and breast cancer. My youth program is built around Motivation, Responsibility, and Resilience. Built to resonate with a wide audience, these programs have an impact on people from all walks of life--not just oral cancer survivors (head and neck cancer survivors). Email jennifer@nationalkeynotespeakers.com for more details.
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What are some simple tricks YOU use to build your confidence? Let's share ideas, guys!
I stopped focusing on myself and I started to build up others, all the time, no matter who they are or where I am or what kind of mood I’m in. I take interest in listening to them and express my amazement at the things they take for granted, but by my interest I show them how incredible those things actually are. When I started to love and build up others I began to speak more kindly to myself. But it all started with stripping away all worldly expectations of what success is or must look like. I started by being grateful just for the ability to think, to walk, breathe, see, that I could do even the things which we take for granted as mundane tasks. When I began to thank God every day for the three things required for life a shelter to lay my head out of the elements and in relative safety, had food to nourish my body, and clean, clear, healthy, cool water to drink I began to realize how blessed we all really are. All else above those three things are mind blowing miracles, it is great material wealth beyond comprehension.
1. Build up others “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” -1 Thessalonians 5:11 “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” -John 13:35
2. Secret acts of mercy and kindness so that no one knows it was me. “In the same way let your light so shine before others, so that they might see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.” -Matthew 5:16 They will see only the act of kindness but not me, the reward or glory is not mine to have.
3. Mediation and prayer: “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.”-Philippians 4:8
Recognize negative speech about yourself and contemplate the reason why you would say these things about yourself. Are they self imposed expectations, cultural/societal expectations we cling to needlessly to define our worth, are we playing the comparison game (comparison is the death of joy)?
I stopped looking at situations as a failure. I just see it as a way that it didn't work and try a different approach... Kind of like the way I got the wonderful experience of meeting you and Shannon 😁 all though you know I tried to get you guys booked it didn't work out the first time in Vegas. But getting to chill out on a nice patio experience worked. I try my best to not use any negative words like no
@@aaronthomas8834 This is an amazing post you've shared! Thank you for blessing me, blessing all of us who are able to listen and take this information. The verse from Philippians may be one of my favorite bible verses of all time. How the world changes when we choose to dwell in goodness.
@@adama8517 That was such a fun day for us! I hope you know that. It was so incredibly meaningful! This is an excellent mindset to have Adam--and you are a rock star! Can't thank you enough for being here, for caring, and for filling the world with your positivity!
Seriously, do you have any plans to speak on TED Talks? I see Rick was on there. Was it a good experience? Something you would want to do?
You're like a ray of sunshine. Every day is a better day when I see/hear your videos.
Where did you get all this self-confidence?
You're awesome. God bless you and yours ALWAYS and in ALL WAYS.
Hi Tana! Yes, absolutely. I have a dear friend who is knowledgable about writing them efficiently and his was accepted on his first swing! So, yes, eventually I'd love to do that--I suppose I should be researching where the local TedX events are taking place in 2020!
@@EllyBrown I can't wait to see you on that stage! You'll be absolutely amazing (as always).
Plenty of people go to Vegas from Hawaii. It's like home away from home for them. Are you back to doing public "performances" anywhere besides Target, where they could meet/see/hear you? : )
@@EllyBrown Do you have to speak at a TED Talk in your own back yard, so to speak? Or could you go to speak in a bigger venue?
@@tanalee229 I do a variety of public speaking, but it's always for private groups! But if I am ever giving a talk in a public venue I'll let you know!
@@tanalee229 I think I'd have to apply to different TedX events around the country depending on the theme and if my talk is a good fit
I love you Elly!! Yess!! Thank you!! 💪🏻🥰❤️✨✨
I love you, dear heart! You are just the sweetest person I know, in the whole world!
Thank you! I really need to work on this. I grew up in an abusive environment where I was constantly beaten & berated for making a mistake or for not understanding something so it’s been a real struggle to stop beating myself up. Your videos really help me to try and turn my mindset around to actually know it’s ok & not the end of the world because I made a mistake. I’m already feeling better about things & I always feel happy now to get through the day & I’ve also started to greet people who don’t even know me. I try to make THEM feel better too by just smiling at them & saying “HI!!! How are you today?” And while they look at me as if I’ve lost my mind, I actually feel joyful inside & ignore the weird looks 😆! So a huge thank you for your wonderful videos that you post. They truly do help!
Great stuff Elly
Thank you Kev! Hope you had an amazing thanksgiving!
❤️❤️❤️
There is a concept in Judaism/Messianic Judaism (Jewish folks and gentiles that believe in Jesus) called Lashon hara, it means “evil tongue/evil speech” and to speak ill of anyone for anything EVEN yourself is a sin. It is unhealthy, unproductive and it is objectively false when people say these things about themselves. I’ve been there though... I struggled for the last 10 years with combat PTSD from my service in the Marines in Iraq.... I lost everything, ended up in a hospital etc. . I was extremely harsh on myself and would speak horrible things about myself that I would NEVER say about another human being.
Before ending up in a hospital I had accomplished a great deal after coming home from Iraq... I started school at a university, double majored in chemistry and biology, was involved in leadership positions in several student organizations, did tons of undergraduate chemical research in bioorganic/synthetic chemistry above and beyond what was required (only 3 hours a week were required, I’d spend 40-50+ hrs in the lab) on top of 16-18 credit hours of classes per semester. I had also finally realized a lifelong dream by getting my pilot’s license and I was juggling a serious relationship in which I eventually became engaged to be married and I was headed for a PhD program at Purdue in Medicinal and Bioorganic Chemistry because I wanted to do Alzheimer’s disease after losing my grandfather to the disease. But.... when everything came crashing down in the summer of 2009 and I ended up in the hospital, I lost it all...
I had come home with severe problems, anger/rage, nightmares like you can’t believe, flashbacks, the works.... Having accomplished so much and being a “type-A” personality I fell apart I hid my problems, not well, but I thought I was. 4 years into hiding and trying to hold on and refusing just to stand still for even a moment (not wanting to have an idle moment where I might find myself having a flashback etc) I finally fell apart. A massive string of incessant panic attacks. Just sitting doing something so innocuous, sitting in a lecture, enjoying a presentation of a professor’s research at this university I was visiting for the summer doing chemical research in physical and synthetic organic chemistry/materials chemistry/science. 5 years of holding every ounce of anguish and pain inside brought my life to a screeching halt. Tried to go out to lunch and I nearly collapsed... I had to tell my friend that I felt like I couldn’t breathe and that I couldn’t walk. Before this I’d never had any experience with mental illness or panic attacks etc. It was terrifying.
Being stubborn I tried to tough it out when my friend insisted on calling an ambulance for me. I eventually gave in and ended up in the hospital after the EMT’s came and got me from the chemistry building. Then..... IT GOT WORSE.... that’s a story for another time, it’s much longer than I presently have time for, but my family had to come from another state away to see me and come get me. What came after the chaos in the hospital was awful. Again, for another time. BUT, I began to say and believe things about myself that were horrible, untrue and destructive. I completely isolated (which is extremely common with PTSD), I couldn’t even get off of the couch in the fetal position, all I could do is just try to breathe. But I went from all that I had worked hard for to being in a genuinely infantile like state, had to withdraw from school never to return, lost my fiancé, and my independence, had to move home with family. All that being said what started to change all of this was my change in thinking. In a fleeting moment of clarity I sat down one day and I wrote down all the things I hated about my condition and situation and then I wrote another list of what I want out of life.... That very moment it started to change. I had to change my mind about how I saw myself. I was always worried about how others saw me or that they would think I was a failure and living at home with my mom in my mid-late 20’s and 30’s but never once taking stock of the actual situation to realize this was an actual circumstance in which it’s OK not to be OK. I never let myself rest before that moment. When I was done writing my lists I said to myself.... “OK, now how am I going to make these things happen?” I started by giving thanks to God for everything that I DID have instead of all that I had lost. I began to pray on my knees beside my bed every morning after waking and night before getting into bed, I stopped asking and praying for things and for God to take it all away and started to simply thank for the most wonderful and simple things that I had/have that are genuinely no small feat, home to lay my head out of the elements, food to nourish and sustain my body, and healthy water to drink.
I look around today and I am heartbroken to see how many others are waking around with so much pain and they choose to bare it alone for fear of what others might think and they tell themselves awful things like that they’re not worthy of love, happiness, a good job, romance, peace, friendship, healthy relationships, marriage etc. etc. In the past 10 years I have gained so much after losing everything that I thought mattered... wisdom, patience and empathy that I had lost during my time in the Marine Corps. I say this... ALL people deserve love, all are worthy of love and happiness and peace in their life. No one is “dumb” or “stupid”, genuinely. While we DO all have varying degrees of intellect what I may be great at is not going to be what you may be amazing at. Maybe I’m great at math and science, but maybe yYOU can paint or sing or you’re an amazing organizer or husband or mother. I want you to know, whoever you are out there reading this comment that you’re not alone, that you don’t have to suffer alone and that the things that you say to yourself and think about yourself are PATENTLY AND OBJECTIVELY FALSE! You are important, you are worthy, you have immeasurable value, your life is priceless, you don’t have to have all the answers, it’s ok not to be OK, and it’s OK to ask for help and not know something. It’s OK to make mistakes, that’s part of being human and growing and learning. I want you to have all the greatest success that this world can offer you, that you will always have peace, joy, love and amazing success in romance/love/marriage and in all that you undertake whether in hobbies, home or career/job. You’re an amazing person simply being you and being alive. That may seem cliche, but stick with me. That fact that you even exist is miraculous, you, yourself, as you are in this body, with this mind, able to read these words.... that is an incredible feat of endurance and strength in itself that cannot be measured or comprehended, not by our finite, human minds. Today, you woke up.... but while you were asleep your heart beat by itself and kept you alive, your mind kept you breathing, you dreamt, these things in themselves are mind blowing miracles. You possess within yourself the ability to do so much as the fact that you awoke and opened your eyes today and you raised up out of bed to your feet or got onto your wheelchair or walker or crutches is so unique a process that the statistical possibilities of you and I even existing at all are indescribably beyond our understanding. You’re reading this and as you do tiny electronics are FLOWING through your neurons and axons, and stimulating neurotransmitters to pass through a network of connections that we as humans have not even begin to be able to reach even with all of our understanding and engineering capabilities. Light is passing from your screen into your pupils, hitting your rods and cones (tiny miraculous structures in and off themselves) and passing the retina and down the optic nerve... them to your visual cortexes through the universe’s most complex circuitry and registers as colors, shapes, letters, processes depth, lighting etc etc. if you stop and just breathe and think on just this process alone. How much takes place in your brain alone just to read what I’m typing you will only begin to scratch the surface of understanding why your are NOT dumb or a failure, or whatever other nonsense you tell yourself. I could go on. I wish all of those of you who are struggling with self worth could speak to me and I would build you up with facts and I would love to hear your story. Everyone is carrying pain, a burden, a story and deserves to be heard.