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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 ก.ย. 2024
- Tokyo BTM share how they flirt with and pick up gay guys in Japan as foreigners.
Is it hard for gay foreigners to approach Japanese guys?
Please leave a comment to share your flirting experience.
#gay#japan#gaystory
Pick up Meng@
Instagram: / bragixm
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アグレッシブ（笑）にウケた。I used to ask for a lighter for first chat, in a bar or even club. Don't know if they are still allowed to smoke inside house though. I quit smoking for almost 10 years, but I kinda miss that smoky bars and clubs in Tokyo. ;)
Haha. Now you have to go into small room but your tactic would still work today.
@@TokyoBTM I used to use that one but i do not smoke anymore, now i give a smile or a wink, or just start to chat. It is part of the excitement to brake the ice....i can not wait to go.
I hate smoking. I stopped going to clubs in Japan because I couldn’t stand the smoke.
When a guy looks at me, I always nod and smile. That lets them know that they don’t have to be shy or worry that I will reject them. It takes a lot of guts to approach people; I admire their confidence.
Nodding and smiling is a great! Subtle, but effective
Nodding and smiling is nice, but I notice that when I often do it, even with someone I find cute, that I do it while lowering my eyes to the floor. While averting the eyes is natural, and maybe more comfortable than looking directly or keeping direct eye contact, looking at the floor risks sending the signal that, "I don't want to be rude but please ignore me / don't approach." Never confirmed by experience though. ^_~
Meng is very cute I can’t imagine he doesn’t get picked up a lot lol 😂
Much respect to the guy who realized he needed to be the pursuer.
It takes a lot of courage!
I knew one of you was Canadian! LOL! What you guys are describing when guys give each other "the look" ... is what used to be called "cruising" many, many years ago. It's a lost art now with Grindr and more general social acceptance. If you passed someone attractive on the street, you could try to look them in the eyes and walk past them a few paces, and then stop and turn to see if they are looking back at you. If they look back, that is the signal. Then you can go up to each other and start talking. Another thing to do was if you saw someone cute in front of you, you can head to a store window and pretend that you are looking at something in the window. If they come up and start looking in the window as well and you catch each others' eyes, then that is a signal as well that you can start to talk. It was such a cool system but is rarely used these days.
oooh! The window thing is neat! Very interesting! Thanks for sharing! I feel I would just be staring in a random window alone though if I tried that now! haha
Correct! That’s what I prefer doing rather than chatting on apps, I love doing that, far way better
Social media has destroyed most of the cruising and bar culture here in the USA.
Would love for you guys to talk about straight Japanese guys that flirt with other guys...possibly bi or bi curious.
I’ve had some experiences of that, every time I’ve been in Japan.
Even in onsen
Lucky you!
Hmm good to know.
2:50 don’t underestimate the power of ~gay eye contact~ 😁😁
Universal!
The Gayze™️
I had a really fun experience in Tokyo when I was at the Eagle and met this cute guy there. It was early and the bar was pretty quiet and he was sitting by himself so just sat next to him and asked if I could buy him a drink. Fortunately he was half Japanese, half Filipino and spoke perfect English. Super lucked out. In more ways than one.
Nice! Sounds like a fun evening ;)
@@TokyoBTM Can't wait to go back! (Once Int'l travel is reopened)
was it Stan? lol
@@gustavopm27 you get all the points 11111111
I was a dancer in the 70s. We would go to Japan on 6 month contracts, first one was 1971.
I went maybe 10 times. Gay life in Tokyo was crazy. There were thousands of bars in Shinjuku alone.
When AIDS hit in the early 80s it was frightening being a foreigner. Bars, clubs and saunas had signs saying NO FOREIGNERS ALLOWED. The racism was so shocking.
Wow...what a time it must have been
Please tell us more. Interesting how Japan seems to default to this "no foreigners allowed" mentality-put-into-practice when a global crisis occurs... #Shady かなぁ…
@@sixpoems I love Japan but there's no denying it is poss8the most racist country in the developed world. Philippino bands were treated abysmally
@@Gerryjournal While I have no intentions of unrooting all that contributes to such a mindset, I do hope, as a young adult American queer person of color, that by investing significantly in an actual life in Japan (e.g. language, local community exchanges, work experience, education, steadily expanding network of social contacts) I will play host to ongoing exchanges that help to dispel stereotypes, open up exchanges for people who have questions or even biases, and maybe create some new curiosities and interests along the way. ✨
Edit: All of this is possible for me because, despite any racism that Japanese and Japanese society may harbor, it does not feel to be of a nature that will literally kill me dead in the streets. (Also, decent and accessible public healthcare. Again, American here. 🙃)
@@sixpoems Good for you, mind you I am talking of half a century ago. Things do change
I'm straight but here I'm enjoying the stories
Binging all your videos and I’m loving itttt. All the way from the Netherlands!
Thank you for letting us know ❤
Love your videos. Thank you so much ! It's hard to find good gay content about Japan in English. I'm so glad to have found you two !! Greetings from France.
Thank you so much! Glad that you enjoyed
You guys are so cute and hearing your stories have been so interesting!
Thank you very much!
I once succeeded on picking up a Japanese guy on a random straight Halloween party. I remember being so proud of myself hahahaha
I was a bit bored with the party (straight people hitting on straight people, not much dancing going on, etc.) so I was just sitting when I noticed this guy who seemed to be completely out of his element and bored too, as in a "whatever he is looking for, clearly it is not here" look.
Of course it was a straight party and someone I was talking for the first time, so since we didn't really exchange "the look" I wasn't gonna openly hit on him, but my gaydar was on full rage, so I couldn't let it go and started testing waters.
After a while I introduced "do you have a girlfriend?" questions and when he asked "Why" when I said I didn't have one either, I was like "Ok. It's now or never. He set the ball for me to hit it".
As someone who doesn't usually do that I was panicking inside, but I gathered all my courage and said "Because I don't want one." while giving my best "I meant exactly what I said" look to him.
We spent a nice night at his room.
Ohhh girl. I'm a mess. My anxiety prevents me from trying to approach anyone 😬😬😬😭😭
Maybe a themed party might create an environment where which you may be able to? Check out our recent video!
Already done! 😏 Had to make sure my tv was paused while I took a zoom call for work 🤣🤣
What a lovely conversation. One of your best videos. You are both so honest and you describe what has really happened in your lives. Fascinating. Please, feel free to be yourselves. (Sometimes you appear to define what's gay and not gay; here you tend to abandon that, and just recount your experiences and reflections.)
The anime bits* make me laugh so much
What is this gay friendly hospital??? Definitely need that info.
Maybe a good video topic? Gay healthcare/PReP situation/STD situation in Japan?
Ohhhhh! thats our next video!
btw here is the link of the place shclinic.ncgm.go.jp/
Tokyo BTM Thanks!!!!
Hahaha I love it Andrewww! I think I also worry that it might bother the other person but if I'm on the receiving end, I would find that super flattering haha This one was such a fun one to watch! I loved it!!!
Andrew said thank you :) so happy that you enjoyed. Well, Rika..you must feel very flattered all the time. haha
Thanks for sharing the experience! I learned quite a bit. I am curious to find girl bars when I visit Japan as I would like to learn more about the LGBTQ+ scene prior to visiting. :)
The girl bar I can remember by name is "Gold Finger". We'd like to do a video on that bar if we are allowed to.
Hello, I started watching your channel after my Japanese boyfriend recommended it to me! You guys are great!🤗
It is so nice to hear. Thank you both ♥
I love the edits. Like the Sharingan one and many others from others videos as well.
So cool been enjoying your videos! I shared it with a gay Asian group on FB hope you get some more views ^..^
Thank you Jayden ❤
HELP! But how do you know if they're flirting with you or if it's just an oblivious straight guy wanting to be friends? (or just being nice...I heard the stereotype is Japanese people in general are known for being "nice"...I've never been to Japan though) What are the signs? Loved the video, by the way. Please do more videos on flirting in Japan!!
I guess ask them out to Nichome the gay area to see if they're gay! haha
That’s it, I kinda got brokenhearted last week cause I met this super cute guy at Tokyo station, I asked him to take a pic of me and then we started chatting for something like 40 minutes! He also took pics of me with his pro camera and sent them to me! We said goodbye but then we came back to each other TWICE to talk more. He didn’t want to leave and always kept on looking back while leaving… so we got in touch on instagram and Line as we exchanged contacts but when I managed to tell him he was handsome (he also told he wanted to meet up again) I just realized he was just Japanese politeness and being kind. He’s probably just a straight dude who was super kind and respectful. Damn
I've been approached 4 times in 2chome in Shinjuku. Once a guy was aggressive and grabbed my hand while I was leaving the smoking area near Shine Mart. I'm straight but I was flattered and happy that someone actually talked to me. That's a rarity for me in Tokyo 😂
Ok, I better just loiter outside of Shine Mart then because I want someone to grab my hand too!
@@TokyoBTM 頑張れ！ 笑 I'll grab your hand if I see you 😉😂
youre straight and watch this channel???
@@xaxascorpiosasascorpio2213 On occasion. I like people watching in 2丁目 and I think the hosts of this channel are nice guys
You should learn some tricks of Phoebe from Friends. Lol she’s real smooth!
This channel is so needed omg
hey Tokyo BTM.... your channel is giving me joy and education. keep it up! cam on.
Meng is so adorable....I'm a straight woman, but I just want to hug him, and feed him delicious food. That is all. Thank you for listening. Lol.
In many areas, the use of "gay eye contact" as an initial flirtation can be indicative of a societal pressure against homosexuality or just personal shyness. I hate that this device is used at all because I seem to have been born without any ability to grasp "gay eyes" when they are made at me. I guess I'm just horrible at flirting. Have you noticed any other patterns in flirtation since this video was made?
I would definitely approach Meng and offer to buy him a drink....:-)
😝😘😘😘😘😘 mua
I'm a bottom but I definitely would😆
Just discovered this channel and it’s a godsend! Every time I go to Nichome I just feel lost and kinda unwelcomed coz I don’t speak Japanese! Also, can you do videos about 24 kaikan or other “adult” establishments like Tokyo kids? What are good places to meet gay Japanese guys for a tourist?
24 would be a good sequel to our bathhouse one for sure! And a tourist video! Good idea!
(Love your mug Andrew!!!)
🤣 That Mangekyou Sharingan...
The best thing about this is Usagi's gossipy grin 😂😂😂😂😂
Gotta love some good gossip!
My experience in a gay scene in Japan is that there are Japanese not interested in gaijins at all and others who are really into gaijin, but in general Japanese are not so open to show their feelings, even it is hard to communicate with them and decipher what they really want, sometimes it seems like they are asexual, in western societies is so obvious when a guy wants to hit on someone . Anyway I hope to come back this year if the situation with corona allows it :)
Yea there are cultural differences for sure! Hope this video helps add to the conversation.
Japnese are into younger men. I'm 19 and there is this guy who is bottom who said he likes bleeding with me in 9 monster. He said I was erotic. Lol
There was also another one in his 38 showing his 🍆 to me. Lol
I so want the GIF of Britney and Patrick Star! best anime clip in this episode (though they're all good)
Best GIFs ever!
Hi, Andrew, I see you on COOL JAPAN from time to time !! Just saying Hello here from New York ! I love Tokyo so much. I wish I can live there long term like you do.
Oh thank you! And you're watching Japanese TV from New York! Nice! I love Tokyo, but NY sounds great too!
@@TokyoBTM And in 2019, I spotted Ginny Shiung on a JR line in Shinjuku !! That's like one in a million chances !! We had a short conversation on the train. She told me that her husband is originally from Taiwan, just like me. New York is cool, but not as glitzy or high tech as Tokyo tho.
I am loving all these videos learning so much. I thought Japanese people are very reserved so it was surprising that you say they are so free being nude. Funny that isn’t something I am comfortable doing lol. I also felt so bad for the poor guy that waited all night and then woke you up so sad. I also saw a video from a Japanese person that said Japanese people are known for really bad breath. Says it is from poor dental care and that people don’t wear braces to fix teeth. Is that true? I am not a person that goes up to someone at a bar and hits on them. I give lots of credit to people who can do that. My husband did that and got me so it does work lol.
I think they just interpret the idea of being naked differently from Western culture. So they are shy, but at the same time, being naked is not as big of a deal as in the West, so the feeling of being naked isn't as connected to being shy vs outgoing etc. I saw that video about the bad breath recently as well. Maybe we should make a followup!
@@TokyoBTM I want to thank you for replying I know it is hard to keep up with everyone messaging you guys. You both are so open about sex it is surprising. I think it is wonderful.
I have never had great luck in nichome or in Tokyo in general. I’ve had guys flirt with me and buy me drinks but they were usually gaijin on vacation, never locals haha. Maybe it’s cuz I’m chubby black guy tho. I’m definitely inspired to try again if I ever move back to Tokyo.
There are many more options in Nichome than what originally meets the eye, so hope you'll try it out again!
That poor guy from Arty 😅
...all night
haha cant blame me, I didnt know he was interested at the moment
Meng always looks adorable in the thumbnails x
I was in Osaka a year ago. I was so surprised how str8 forward is they gay guys, o lot of them approach me very friendly
I think in general Osaka people are more straight forward than people in Tokyo area :) cant wait to visit Osaka again soon
Really? I live in osaka. I never meet gay guys here
I felt the same in Sendai. I was positively surprised by how easily guys approached me
11:39 "I could use some tips" giggity.
when i was younger, i was bolder and veey upfront but when i got older, i became more reserved and just chill. not anyone who approaches you in a bar wants to sleep with you but probably just meet friends, network, or friendly date :)
Hi😘. Please let us know if you have any suggestions or questions for us.😉
I would hit on both of you. Love your content, guys! Keep on doing what you’re doing.
Thank you! We will!
Good to know. Thank you guys for making this video. I look forward to coming to Japan and seeing how well i do making LGBT friends and flirting.
Let us know how you get on ;)
@@TokyoBTM Will do. First things first though really need to step up my Japanese language skills. Don't want to get over there and be all eto~ gomennassai wakarimasen and embarrass myself lol
The two hands hi everyone at low angle is a very gay thing!
Meng in Arty: “SITTING ALONE IN THE V.I.P.”
haha havent been to Arty in ages
I miss Arty! I used to dance like a hussy there every Friday night for Wine Blast. No idea if they still do it.
My two favorite GAY bachelors living in Tokyo 👍🇺🇸💪🌈
Haha thanks for always leaving a comment for us ;p
Here's a tip: ask someone, "Would you like to buy *me* a drink?" Whatever happens, you'll get a story out of it :).
Sounds like language is the largest hurdle. How long did it take either of you to become fluent enough to engage in every conversation at the bars/clubs?
Tough question! It varies a lot from person to person and experience...whether you are surrounded by Japanese on a daily basis (host family for instance) or not. I think 1 year of hard study will allow you to have some basic bar club talk. Maybe? But not too complicated.
@@TokyoBTM Thank you for the info!
HAHAHA this viDeo reminded me of the one time i bought a guy a drink at a norwegian bar and at the end he was straight but DID accept the drink, like. WHYYYY????
meng you are so cute!!! love yoU!
Thank you 🤗🤗🤗
You guys make me miss Tokyo a lot!!!
Tokyo is the best! Hope you come back soon!
The sharingan look... who never? :p
Are u guys partners. ..both of u are very handsome.
Thank you Curt. We are both single
I went to Eagle Tokyo Blue a few times (I was alone and It was the only bar I felt comfortable and confident in) Other than talking to guys via the app, there was a group of cute Japanese guys that tried to teach me a drinking game. They didn’t speak much english but they called me cute and we managed to play the game a few times that night. Nothing came of it tho. I’m guessing it was the language barrier.
Sounds like you had a nice time still though! Games and drinks with cute boys ;)
Both Meng and Andrew are so attractive! I'm thinking the both of you make out like bandits with the gentlemen there. ;)
😛
Saw KONO SUBA.
First, Girls' Generation.. and now this. I think we're gonna be best friends.
Not the Mangekyou Sharingan lol
I want to datw a gay japanese do you have any tips?
Are Japanese gay men more interested in White foreigner compared to People of Color like Black or Latino?
I've talk to a few Japanese gay men in the US and for some reason they will always tell me they would prefer to be with a white man? Any thoughts?
Hi Fabian! If you don't mind check out another video of ours, we actually touched upon this topic in th-cam.com/video/UxVXtZqSUy4/w-d-xo.html
@@TokyoBTM thank you
What is the pickup line for Chinese gay guys?
约？ 😂😂
@@TokyoBTM 哈哈哈哈 中文真是博大精深
Are gay women welcome at these places too?
It depends on the bar, but in general I would say that most of the more well-known ones are open to women!
Since this is Tokyo BTM = Andrew, have you found that when you make the approach, the object of your attention assumes that, because you are forward, you must be a top? Or, are you hoping - based on something about him - that you have identified a top?
可愛いものね～♡わかる～！！外国の人に興味がある日本人も多いですよ。でも言葉の心配があってなかなか声掛けられないのだと思いますよ。憧れている人も多いはずよ💛
お優しいコメントありがとうございます。そうですね、仰る通りです。勇気を持って、ちゃんと行動します💕
Guys....... i have a question, i have tattoos, will this be a problem in all gay bath houses saunas & gyms....?
It can be....watch or video on top 7 spots, we discuss it a bit. Essentially comes down to how well you can hide it. I also put some info in the comment section about a place in Ikebukuro that is tattoo-friendly
You just got yourselves a new subscriber... Greetings from México 🇲🇽
Thanks for the vote of confidence! We would love to go to Mexico sometime!
I had a chinese guy pick me up in Dragon Men and we went to Arty then he spent the night with me in my hotel.
Sounds like a nice night!
@@TokyoBTM yea he was a super hot slim guy and Def a power bottom
Our competition!
Is there a "cruising" culture in Japan? Like, parks, public restrooms, etc.?
Yes, yes there is, oh boy there is :D
@@Bonniebluejam Elaborate!!!
@@a.l.900 Sadly these are the kinds of things I can't really say here on youtube lol.
@@Bonniebluejam Maybe Andrew and/or Meng will chime in with a video ~_^
This so cool 😎
So if I'm in Tokyo and I see Meng I can follow Meng in hot pursuit for up to three blocks and you, Meng, will eventually give me your number and feel charmed by the experience? LOL
The nampa you described from Shibuya sounds like harassment... And then you say you want that? Do you want to be harassed? 😅 It sounds horrible, honestly. I’m glad I’m not a girl. It must be really tough.
I'd def flirt. Very cute.
god i love japanese men lol
to be quite honest, I'd even pay for an Onlyfans, if you had one, just listening to you talking totally explicitly - ha ha.
I lost my gaydar in Japan 😭
hahahahaah you need to readjust!
@@TokyoBTM thanks , after watching you guys fantastic videos, I may can master it again 😀.
Yup, I do have a hard time meeting gay men in Japan. I have more luck in Taiwan
Meng 🤩🤩🤩
😘😘😘
The Sharingan xDD
I love white and latin men. I wish I could find a white men who love Asian in where I live lol
I visited Japan several years ago with my mate, he was Japanese and many years my junior. We had a great time there, I really enjoyed my time there and we both had our first time visiting a gay Japanese bathhouse. I had met him in Canada, while he was an exchange student and we were in a five year relationship.
I would like to visit Japan again, maybe meet someone, but being 60 now I sincerely doubt I would meet someone. Just on the off shot, what would be the odds of an older Caucasian man meeting meeting someone?
Hi Coal, thanks for taking the time out to share your story!
I feel that you would have a great chance of meeting a guy here when you visit.
There are a ton of guys here, all with their own types, so I don't think you would have a problem.
@@TokyoBTM That's nice to hear, I do plan to visit again, but alone things are a little different.
If I saw meng at the bar I would definitely ask him out for tea 😛😘
haha that's so sweet, I am flattered
Tokyo BTM hopefully you like japanese guys 😀😉
@@lubetubeshinoda2535 of course! haha Thats why we are here in Japan
Wreck Beach!
Thanks Beach :)
High ❤🌵
Medical personal also knowwhat PrEp is.
Would you like go Mars??
I just used 9monsters
how you like that?
I find that flirting here in Japan is hard AF when you are a shy person. As he said, when you are a foreigner you are basically forced to be the pursuer and that just doesn't work for me. Even when I try, everyone always assumes I cant speak Japanese and is very defensive lol even when I tell them I can!
..........hattenba tho👀👀👀
it is in our list !! haha i am thinking do the hattenba one in a different way ^^
Tokyo BTM ha...hatten toilet??🥺🥺🥺
@@TedMeow actually very interesting, but i will need to experience it first :)
So wait, it's ok to look? Coming from the US, I'd be afraid of getting a punch to the face to looking. Or at least a nasty comment.
At worst you might get a nasty comment, but I have never been afraid - or seen - physical violence as a response to those sort of things. I don't think anything would really happen from you looking.
日本語字幕付けて欲しいです😢
このビデオ、まだ日本語の字幕がないですよね。 分かりました。週末付けますので、少しお時間いただきます❤
I love Tokyo, I get hit on by guys a lot more than here at home in the US. And I’m VERY OK with that. 😉
lucky you!
@@TokyoBTM and I’m a music nerd and Tokyo has the best music scene and the best record stores in the world. Best of both worlds to me. Love the city so much.
I've wanted to move to Tokyo for so long, but always hear that the market for ESL teachers is too packed. :((
@@user-kp5kg5dl8h well you can visit. It’s fantastic.
Westerner should respect other countries...no offense