Oh man, I'm in the midst of a friend having stress health crisis because of an emotionally abusive husband, and can I just hide until she leaves him. How to be in front of an abusive person and not nervously smile and nod while hope the earth opens up and envelopes him.
"Why INFJs suck at being introverts" I always described it as being "an introvert that wants to be an extrovert." If I were at a party, I'd enjoy it, but I'd also be the quiet one in the corner that looks like they're not. [INFJ]
Infp's (the assertives) sometimes fit into this mould too. I taper into my extroverted side when I'm comfortable. Love the limelight, but only by choice 😁
I have a friend who is an infj. When I first met her, she asked me whether I wanted to be a writer. (This was after we had talked for almost an hour). At first it was shocking as I didn't even tell my closest friends about my writing as I was insecure that it wasn't good enough. And when I asked her why she said so she just smiled leaving me hella confused.
@@ECThurn I definitely agree! Like Nathan said in his video about Ni, it can boil something down to a concept, detach it, and see how it fits into something else. Once we've garnered an understanding of what constitues a "writer" by our own intuitive definition, we can probably tell if our subconscious is telling us "hey this person fits into the pattern! They seem like a writer! " And then we trust the hunch. 😅
I can relate to this but also you can prepare to be not prepare: just accepting all the consecuences as they happen and all that could go 'wrong'. Appart for that mindset a way that works for me to prepare to be not prepared is to before any social meeting just avoid consume anything except for whats happening right now in the phisical world, you can do this preferably observing people pass by on the street. I've done this before knowing anything about the cognitive functions but it makes sense because probably it force your mind in to a fe-se state that its so much open to interact spontaneously with people. I hope this helps c:
I have found that "softening things" to make it easier for the other person when anticipating a tough conversation with a "T" type can result in horrendous misunderstanding and your anticipated, logical outcome will go right out the window. What you anticipate as a small disagreement may be a relationship ender. There is a song "Cruel To Be Kind" that applies here. Sometimes it's better to just be blunt.
Speaking candidly (and as a non-INFJ), the issue that immediately stands out to me here is the usage of the word "wrong." How are you defining "wrong?" Not what you expected/planned for? Not what you wanted? Easier said than done, coming from an NP, but sometimes you have to let go of expectations and open your mind (heart?) up to a world of possibilities and let the chips fall where they may. Find the silver lining. Make lemonade. Roll with the punches. Let the wave crash over you (as in the buddhist philosophy of being unattached, less outcome-dependent), and countless other idioms. Or as the Cheshire cat said, "If you don't know where you're going, then any road will take you there." 😸
Yes yes yes. Agree with all 3 comments above. The biggest self-growth for me has been to understand that 'perfection' doesn't exist, life is inherently chaotic, and to let go of certain degree of control and expectations. Does it make me anxious still? Yes. Has it given me some really interesting memories and funny stories? Absolutely. And since my long time partner is xNFP, I get regular doses of chaos whether I want it or not. LOL Life is certainly less boring when you don't anticipate everything.
@@Sweetsurey oh dear, it must be very difficult to find people who understand you well. My girlfriend is infj and she can relate event without being autistic. My advice is: don't be too harsh to yourself. You infjs are so good to others, so warm hearted :). I don't get it why you torture yourself so often and can't be a bit more relaxed :). It must be something about overthinking, being too empathetic, perfectionism, maybe something more.
The parent Fe and critic Fi makes us VERY vulnerable to guilt. Often times, this can lead us to question our point of disagreement with a false sense of guilt for causing the conflict to begin with. However, when we get pushed too far we can definitely take a 180 and cause a conflict just to get the point across if we don't cut them out of our lives first 😅 its ironic how internally conflicted we are when we hate conflict 🙃
yeah I agree... that Fe especially in the 2nd and 4th slot is hard to understand some times at least from my perspective. IMO Fe is definitely the most loose uncontrollable function of them all. It can look so sweet when used correctly, but so sour when not... ISTP
@@RRRsimracing Parent Fe is hard to balance, it can easily turn into a high standard that is unrealistic which is definitely off putting to say the least. Takes a lot of work to level it out with reason lol
Am an INFJ and I thankfully now live in a culture where it is much more socially acceptable to be disagreeable. Am not a fan of conflict but am pretty capable of saying no and making people aware of my boundaries. My problem is that most people can't deal with being told (nicely) that they've hurt my feelings or overstepped a boundary, they just go into attack mode or try to blame my negative feelings on me. People with whom you can constructively talk about emotional issues and resolve them are from my experience absolute unicorns unfortunately.
Same! It took a lot of work on myself to be able to be assertive and set my boundaries. Even now it is still difficult. So when my close friends refuses to acknowledge when I tell them as kindly as possible that they went too far and hurt my feelings and play the victim... It hurts even more. Fortunately they don't do it generally. But everyone has been on edge lately so they take everything super personally. It's exhausting to see them. But what you are talking about sounds like a narcissistic. If possible don't let them too much in your life. Put some distance, especially emotional distance between you and them.
This seems to be fairly common for us. I've seen debates on whether INFJ's are born or created. Intriguing! Either way it is our responsibility at the end of the day to assert ourselves and set boundaries. This applies to any type, but INFJs seem to have more difficulty embracing this concept. If those boundaries can't/won't be respected by the people we hold dear... Should we hold them as dear? It's difficult to limit contact without cutting someone out entirely, isn't it? But if there is a reason you absolutely can't stay away then limited contact, at times when your own self care is all done, can help us survive. IF we can be created, we can recreate ourselves. Read that last line again.
I agree with all of what you say. Most resonant is "Why would others want to be this way" I am a man in my 50's and I have learned how to manage the conflicting aspects. Saying that, my childhood was confusing and mentally chaotic. I was building my library of knowledge...later in life (30-50) things got better but I still had some issues. Now? I learned that I am an INFJ, I have discovered it's ups and downs. I love the Ni-Fe combo, it has served me well by better seeing people for who they pretend to be (we all wear a mask) and who they actually are, and the vast majority of the time they are good people who have all the same worries that everyone does. If you are on this site as an INFJ, good for you, you are learning about who you are...enjoy the journey
I agree with what you said about seeing people for who they pretend to be and who they really are. I’d like to go a bit deeper though. I’ve found it deeply troubling that many, if not most, tend to almost always believe themselves to be less than who/what I see behind the mask. This upsets me because this means that the majority of humans aren’t living up to their fullest potential because they’re not even aware that who they’re sooo afraid of, is actually way better than who they’re pretending to be. In this chaotic and cold world we now find ourselves in, it seems like now more than ever, is where we need to drop it, with the silly masks. As the fabric of our collective reality continues to unravel, those masks will become more and more absurd and nonsensical than they are, even now. Just look at some of the sick, strange characters people are currently idolizing (Cardi B - WAP - marketed to little girls😞). It’s pretty wild and terrifying. I’m an INFJ in my early 40s.
Also I've found that I have no problems whatsoever when to comes to being disagreeable, forceful and assertive when it comes to speaking for others or defending them. It's as though my Fe becomes a source of strength and Fire, when I'm defending someone. So if I'm at my work and speaking for the rights of students or a coworker, I can be very passionate, assertive and to the point. x) It's funny how that works. 😅
Assertive at defending others, failure at including self. The book I'm Ok, You're Ok is a very good read for becoming more rounded in including oneself in things. It's still a challenge, I will sometimes find a way to defend others when its actually me that had felt slighted.
Related: I'm disabled and have a hard time advocating for myself or calling out friends when they're being abelist. I've learned to think of it as speaking for other disabled people that will later walk down the same path as myself, or educating my friends so they'll be better for the knowledge. Honestly, it really helps me find my voice.
@@elphieofkiamoko That is very clever! It's like bypassing the "humility" function x) I'll try that one for myself. Also good on you for calling people out when they're being abelist and/or ignorant.
Well, ima just go ahead and not disagree with any of this. Especially the sentiment of "Why would anyone want to be this type?" I think I even expressed this in of my vids. We're a strange combination of wanting nothing more than to help and understand others while being overwhelmed by them very easily and feeling like the odd one out that nobody can understand. If we were created like that I'd call that sadism. If we evolved like that...well, no wonder there aren't many of us around.
As an INFJ, potential conflict is a struggle as I usually see what's really going on, but I don't want to slam someone with the hard truth so I put on the kitten mittens. The problem is that I think they're aware of my purposeful tact, when the reality is they're not. So after many kitten mitten scenarios, if they haven't adjusted for the 'problem', I blow up out of resentment. It feels that they've taken ALL the times that I've been diplomatic for granted. As I've matured, I've learned that most people actually don't see the purposeful diplomacy (rather, they confuse it with softness &/or lack of awareness) so ultimately, it's better to just say what I think & feel. But it's a real challenge to find that sweet spot between direct & benefit of the doubt
The "boiling over" thing was a huge problem when I was a teenager. I still struggle understanding my feelings before they explode, and when I try to share them with others, I tend to use emotionally loaded words without realizing it--and that can derail the conversation. Boundaries are hard. "People who are actually INFJs have trouble understanding why other people want to be their type." WORD. "Conflicted" is also a good word... 😁 Thank you for not sugar coating us!
I'm estp and I met infj once. She is so calm, kind and understands human pehavior well - traits I didn't have but wanted to have. INFJs, ur so nice, love yourself for who you are
I'm and intj and I had an infj best friend of nine years. We were so compatible that people actually though we were dating (both of us are females) and what caused the split was because my infj then best friend avoided conflict and confrontation (we were drifting away) and as much as I tried to keep the relationship together she was unresponsive. If she actually had resentment or an unknown grudge against me she would've confronted me about it like a normal human. But no she decided to stay silent and I have her so many chances to speak out with no prevail. Then out of no where I gave her the famous "door slam" and deactivated my social media accounts that we followed each other on :) I tried for 2 years then realized it was not worth it anymore. Now that I look back, I'm sure it wouldn't have ended up that way if she could of confronted me! And I'm sure it's 100% some stupid petty thing that I did or said that I didn't mean for it to be offense.. But whatever. Just know fellow INFJs that you avoiding conflict and building resentment WILL destroy your most precious relationships.
Communication is essential to any and all relationships and I am a huge communicator especially through letter form so care can be taken in the words conveyed. Oddly enough I am an INFJ who hates conflict but has trained myself to be THE main communicator in my relationships with people and I find most people suck at that terribly. I started doing it in my late twenties and have never stopped doing it in twenty years. It is my love and desire for getting along with others that drives me to communicate thoroughly. They usually do not appreciate it as they want to run from the responsibility addressing issues. There is hope for the INFJ if I can do it and was never even raised in society. I am an extreme introvert and learned how to be the dominant communicator with everyone hands down. It is my job in life it seems. I will communicate in any fashion required but I usually write letters.
I agree also as an enfj but at the same time i understand the scarcity: 1) i remember Nathan mentioned in one of his videos that he does not have an enfj around him irl 2) since enfjs are so few (statistically so and also as extroverts we are, we are underrepresented online compared to introverts) :/ Idk if it's from the same logic but i noticed that the enfj mug is the only one missing among the 16p mugs on his website thing :/
@@正-d4i I dont mean all intps, I have a enfj friend going through a big ol divorce from an intp, it's a natural attraction, just based on nathan personal personality here on the channel I couldnt imagine him being ok with the steam rolling enfjs do.
Some Infj prefer Ni/Ti over Ni/Fe. It is called a jumper or ops type.That does not mean that they are stuck in Ni/Ti all day, as people often think. Fe is there, it just does not want to participate.
There's no such thing as jumper type. It's a cognitive impossibility as well as an anatomy impossibility. Being a jumper type is about as real as having a naruto dojutsu on earth
I would say the 'jumper' type is nonsense. In truth Ti in that case would just be overexaggerated and Fe was neglected in development. No function in your psyche just 'opts out' from being involved except maybe the 4th function by its anxiety. I would say that it is being stuck in a Ni Ti loop just over a long period of time. Eventually Fe will kick in and become involved, its just a matter of when, or a possible mistype. They are much more common than you would expect. Ti child has the risk of adopting a god complex and believe it is correct by its own merit because 'it just makes sense to me'. Be careful for that, I had that same problem when I was younger and it alienates those around you. Not accusing that is the case btw, just putting it out there.
Random Fact: If I Were A Tattoo Artist I Would Work Exclusively On Women's Anatomy. I Would Name It ... Tats4Tits And For The Grand Opening I Would Offer A " Two For The Price Of One,” Special. OK, Now Back To The Less Interesting Subject Of The INFJ.
@@ClubENTP LMAO I've had young people assume that my moniker refers to tattoos and tits, but for the older crowd, I'll assume y'all know better. On a different note, I always thought an upscale men's clothing store should be called the Dandy Lion. Today the name would be quite apt for the LBGTQ fluff. As for INFJs being less interesting? Never!
@@ClubENTP YOU are MY kind of people. Your line puts you right up there with AC/DC's Big Balls. It seems punning is rapidly becoming a lost art. I once read that the pun is the lowest form of humor and yet only the most intelligent can do it. Along these lines (stolen) you might enjoy a little known fictitious fact that due to the narrowness of the buckboards of the wagons in the wagon trains heading west, there was a weight limit put in place for the traveling settlers. It was stated only as that there was simply no west for the reary.
@@Dragonalynn And Now You Know The West Of The Story. I Actually Live At The End Of The Lewis And Clark Trail. That’s A Non Fiction Fact. lol You’re Definitely Enlighten. Join My Club And Stay Tuned To My ENTP Talk Show/Comedy/Cage Fighting/Music Video Channel And Enjoy The Chaos.
I think most of the thinkers give high fe too much credit. fe doesn't necessarily mean great social skills. people tend to forget that we're ni-doms first. to my understanding and experience ni is the most reclusive, personal and even the most self-absorbed function. the last time I met up with a friend was at least 2 months ago. and I'm totally okay with that. as long as my ni is well and functioning, lack of social life is not much of an issue. sure I need and crave human connection but I don't think it's more than an average person's need. most thinkers need to reevaluate their understanding of aux fe, if you ask me.
yeah high Fe is strange, It really varies based on the intelligence and neuro-sensitivity of the xnfj. There's a lot of nuance, but in theory, Ni is the most subjective, most introverted, most "removed from reality" function. It's the "cave function" a la Plato, Elijah and other such biblical heroes. It's where, according to legend, God speaks to you lol.
@@satoshinakamoto5710 yes. Jung even says that if introverted intuition had not existed, there would have been no prophets. this quote alone speaks for itself. dominant ni is pure alienation. in the worst and the best sense.
Being a friend with another INFJ is both awesome and annoying because yes we are very considerate of each other but on some subjects we can do a lot of beating around the bush and damn that’s so annoying.
I recently found out that I was an INFJ, researched a bit and was disturbed by being pinned so accurately. Took many of the tests to be sure….. Now I’m looking at these videos as a way to help me be a healthier person. Conflict and boundaries are my weakness. Nobody ever understood when I told them I was an extroverted introvert…. Now I have a more understanding of myself.
I'm working as a career counsellor in a highschool, and I've had to have very difficult conversations with some students. I think it's good that I'm getting the opportunity to practice them those kinds of conversations, because - like you said - it's not really my strength. Something I've found though is that I can sort of "switch off" my Fe, or at least have it change places with Ti, and put my points across in a very matter of fact kind of way. I'm definitely someone who wraps everything I say in cotton candy, but thanks to learning from coworkers who (I think) are Se and Te dominants, I've started to be more assertive in getting to the point, both with coworkers and students. I'm also a bit older (30) so I think just having life-experience is a good way to mature in general. I've had to stand up for myself, and had tough conversations where i almost had panic attacks, because I kept imagining the worst possbile outcome with relationships I had. But having experienced "the worst" and survived it, I'm more confident in my ability to be assertive and disagreeable. Also, I also think it's a little weird that people would Want to be INFJ x) I'm sure there are downsides to all the types but, having High Fe *and* being introverted intuitive and drained by social interactions isn't really a great combo 😅 Plus, if INFJs really are as rare as people think, you don't really have many people you can comiserate with either.
I cringe every time I let Fe get in the way of assertiveness. Still working on it. But I try not to give my self a hard time about is (as us Infj are apt to do) I focus instead on being the best at what I do in life and things that captivate my Ni-Ti, than worry about power struggles. Compartementilising helps aswell, they are their feelings not mine. Also I've learnt to not expect everyone to be so empathetically switched on as I am. Not all people are caring of others, they don't care about you and trying to get ahead in life by whatever means possible, it releases you from thinking you have to somehow invest in these people, beyond your own desire just for polite and courteous communication. Basically be nice, firm and move on.
My ESTP friend is helping me break out of my shell and be more assertive/less temperamental, and in turn I'm helping him be more open with his feelings, being less blunt and with thinking outside the box. We learn a lot from each other.
I definitely think something that has helped me is not giving myself as much time to think about something before I do it, because of my over-thinking tendencies. I know it is not necessarily good to be impulsive, but if I am given too much of an opportunity to analyse something, I will generally overthink myself out of a situation or into a deconstructive headspace
As a teen infj I can say that being raised by a narc parent (to any degree) or family structure that involves disregard of boundaries in any way, saying no to elders a crime and excessive demands on child by parents primarily a mother or the attachment figure ingrains such disagreement, peacemaker and avoiding confrontation/conflicts as a dominant way of acting which is included in Fe...acc to my perception!✨🥺 Thank you so much for this platform to express myself!!
Great video, thank you! I personally 'Fe' not as "being nice", but more as wanting to prevent a feeling of guilt or residual negativity... Sometimes, that means telling a person your feelings, even if it's uncomfortable, especially if they are threatening/demeaning someone I care about! :P
I'm so INFJ that I know if I don't subscribe I would still get your videos by recommendations from TH-cam analytics. But I also subscribed because it might even be of a small help to you :)
this is on point. I was thinking that i can actually be very disagreeable and end up fighting a lot with people - which i hate doing And then you said just that. I've been working as a waiter for a few months at a high end restaurant which means a lot of running and pressure. My Se gets overwhelmed suuuper fast, especially when i have to Fe deal with all the other waiters/managers and their own crap So yeah, sure waiting for that moment when i 'mature'
My husband (ESFJ) and I (INFJ) call our type combination FeFe (fee-fee), lol, because we struggle with saying yes to everything people want to do with us even when we're exhausted and have no time for each other, relationships with family and friends are the most important thing in the world to both of us, and having to have a difficult conversation with a family member or friend is like the most inhumane torture ever. 😬 Every time Fe trumps one of our goals (like going to bed early, spending more time together, or having a weekend at home), we say the FeFe won again 😂
I’m an INFJ married to an ESFJ husband too! Does your husband have an interest in MBTI? Mine very patiently listens to me talk about it, but he can only take so much at a time! He didn’t care for typology theories at first, but he’s come to see the value in them. I feel like our shared FE is part of what makes us so compatible. Also, he’s so good with sensory details - he’s kept me out of trouble many times!
@@stephanieokkay Oh, how cool! 😊 My husband definitely didn't have an interest at first, but now he sees the value in how it helps him understand and relate to other people, and he watches all our favorite MBTI TH-camrs with me. I totally agree it's our shared Fe that makes us so compatible. It gives us many shared traits and values, and you're so right - his Si is a lifesaver! 😂 I feel like we're the perfect balance with shared Fe and the opposite Si/Ni situation to make things interesting and help each other grow.
I’m a 40 year old infj male married to a esfj female it’s funny how she at first wasn’t that interested in Mbti but after a while with me explaining why people interact the way they do she got semi on board with it.we get annoyed with each other sometimes when having a conversation she likes to keep it in the shallow end (shopping,tv shows,what the neighbours are doing next door🙄)while I’m trying to drag it to the deep abstract world
@@andrewcook3661 My ESFJ thinks it’s funny that I get so much energy when I’m talking about theories and ideas. I think it’s amazing that he can remember so many details from his childhood. He’s really good at knowing what I need, too. Before I knew anything about personality theories, he recognized that I require alone time, and so he makes sure I get a lovely portion of solitude everyday. It’s made an incredible difference for me.
I am an INFP and I can relate to the first point. I am extremely conflict avoidant and try to sugarcoat certain statements because I don’t want to hurt them. Any other INFPs who feel this way?
Yes! But my ENTP friend encourages me to go ahead and say what I need to say without fear of hurting feelings because some other thinking types literally care less about their feelings 🤣 I'm like, what?!? How is that possible 🤔🤣
@@FEMSuccessCircle Hahah, your friend is right! I'm an INTP and I'd rather someone be blunt and honest with me than sugarcoat things to avoid hurting "my feelings". That feels super patronizing, really, like I'm a child that can't accept the real world. The more I crush my comfort zones, the happier I feel, and I appreciate people who think I'm strong enough to bear their true thoughts. Not to say I can't sugarcoat things when necessary. I had to develop my Fe to teach and to navigate social situations, but I always feel bad when I have to sugarcoat things, like I'm the one patronizing other people. It makes me feel like a hypocrite.
@@FEMSuccessCircle I think it can be true until you inadvertently step on their inferior function Feeling. I know an ENTJ where the Fi will suddenly rise up out of nowhere, & it's like, "You were just tongue lashing me with your Te! Now you're upset?" Can't win. SMH
This is a nother great idea for learning about the different types, thank you :) Also I loved the ending "if you are going to be disagreeable now is not the time" Hahaha!
"Avoid overthinking" ... I wish it was an easy task. Fun fact is that my close friends get it even if I am not even talking, while trying to "sneak out" from being overthinking (loud) with my silence ...
On the nose. I’ve taken to forcing myself to think about other things in order to stop the spiral of ruminating on what might happen. That way I can potentially enjoy what’s coming. I don’t need to know ALL the details, even if I might want them.
Bingo. Infj here.. everyone loves my social skills but I would rather be alone. Never bored alone. Zillions of projects. Haha!!! Nothing you said can make us snap. Lol
I do get drained..it's just not all the time.. It's not necessarily interacting in itself but all the other things that go with it. It's more than just.. You talk, I talk.. Everybody's happy and we're done, no worries..
I don't have trouble with being spontaneous as long as I'm going to a place where there are people I will probably not see again. I have always naturally chameleoned so well that my first 5 minutes to 30 minutes with any person I have no problem with and enjoy greatly. I love making strangers happy, and small talk can reveal more about people than they think. My dad is an ESFP, I loved watching him talk small talk with people. I learned so much about people without understanding what I was doing. I got good at mimicking him when I needed to interact. As I got older and more confident mirroring people, I know I can charm the pants off of most people for a short time. If I think I'm going to have to know them longer than that I can panic, because the can disguise crumble in a very messy way. Small talk can save a life.
my god, i do feel like being called out. lol. but i have to say, nowadays i'm feeling more and more confident at setting boundaries. i tell ppl when i don't like certain things or if i do this or that, i tell them before hand that it wasn't on them. it was more of 'me' thing. and damn, yes. i suck at being actual introvert. i crave interactions so bad but once everyone's lowkey orbiting around me, i just want to dig a hole and never come out. it's frustrating. and that overthinking thing.. ha ha. yea. i found a way to tone it down by reading and playing games. idk if that's a good thing but at least i'm not waking up at 3 am in the morning staring at the ceiling thinking about secret of the universe or my existential crisis..
A wall of text, once more. The way I figured out to enforce boundaries for myself is when I realised that my problem with them is not from within, but from without (Fe). I'm going to borrow OPS "tribe" thingy to get my point across. I find it difficult to press against someone else when it's an internal value, my Fi critic would create inner conflict, but the issue is with Fe and lack of tribe definition, when there is no tribe then everyone is my tribe, including that toxic person that is yelling at me right now. I tend to be subservient to my tribe. The way I started doing it recently is that I outsourced internal values that my body was screaming about when other values were being forced on me to an external conceptual tribe that may or may not exist. It's basically a group of people that are allowed in when they exhibit particular values and I am convinced about that, until then they are outside my tribe. I am only subject to my tribe and the people that are allowed in will not do certain things, when they cross a line they may get warned or kicked out if it is something really bad. They are subject to a set of values exterior to themselves and when they go against them then that excludes them from the tribe as it has a conceptual nature. I go with this further and have layers in my tribe, there are reserved spots because I haven't found people to fill those places, but there are no fall backs. Just because a spot is empty it doesn't mean that the person in the layer below gets to have a say. When people outside the tribe judge me it is easier to discard their judgements because they are not part of any layer, at best I give some consideration to what they are saying and maybe consult with someone in my tribe, but they don't have as much impact as they once did. I think you can see a lot of the INFJ functions at work here because the tribe is basically a layered system whose structure is governed by logic (Ti, the layers have a set of permissions and privileges, each having their own purposes even if two layers are at the same level, this can be granularized as much as needed). The tribe is defined by values (Fe), basically reflecting values that I want to be judged on rather than having people randomly judging me on what they think what is important. I can pick the people that judge me and discard the other judgements, I can acknowledge them as being part of a different tribe with its own values, we can still work together even if we are from different cities. I can bounce off people more easily when they are intrusive with this because they are simply not part of my tribe. Not asserting the boundary discards the tribe while asserting it marks my tribe more important to me as not everyone gets the same access. I don't have to fight the other person, I just simply deny them the information. E.g.: "I only talk to friends about that of which you are not.".
I sometimes wish I was someone who was dense,can't read between the lines. But I can sense everything, I tend to absorb the feelings of others, and it's uncomfortable if the feeling is negative. I used to think everybody was like that, but I saw people who were insensitive when someone was expressing their vulnerable side. It was a shock to me.
Anger expressed reminds me of people who can't communicate, communication is a two way street. People need to make time to be able to communicate better. Not everyone cares to. Or very bad timing.
The worst part is when your mother is an INFJ with BPD or an INTJ with Narcissism, and the differences are so nuanced that it's exhausting as an ENFJ trying to keep her stress free.
Yeah this hits home. I'd like to think that I've developed the ability to have tough conversations by now in my 30s. But it's been a journey and I used to wait until I snapped. Also the being competent in social settings but being easily drained by them, and overthinking down to where I'm going to sit. Yup.
I am careful with how I phrase things. If I have previously noticed that certain words may ‘trigger’ an inner reaction in someone, I would avoid using such word. I understand that our brains tend to make mental connection between a spoken word with a past trauma, or notion that is deeply rooted in someone. However, I prefer honest approach and directness. Rephrasing things is not indirect approach. It’s simply a more understanding and careful one. I am aware that this may seem/ sound as an indirect one to others, but that is perhaps because most associate direct approach with: say the first thing that comes to mind without putting much thought into it.
As an INFJ, I can indeed confirm that I really like spending time with people. Not just random people, but the people I know and care about. I need time alone too, but I'm usually happiest when I'm with another person
I'm in the video and I don't like it. jks I feel so seen! I have always thought 'why the hell would anyone want to be an infj?! I feel like an absolute walking nightmare of a person' 😂 Best advise for a struggling infj and what had really helped me, especially with overthinking, is to just jump in the deep end. Go for it and don't think!! Terrifying yes, but you'll be surprised at just how much you can go with the flow. Awesome video, thank you ☺️
Good God, man! How on earth do you grok my type so thoroughly and accurately?! I may have actually physically flinched at least 3 times during this video 😬 “Boiling over is not being assertive.” “In many ways, INFJs are a conflicted type...” “Who’s going to be there? What do I know about them? What should I wear? What’s the vibe going to be?” Indeed. Welcome to every day of my life!
I once had a button given to me which (that?) said, “It’s been lovely, but I have to scream now”. I still boil over after being calm a long while. I don’t think I’m improving.
Well I this is my 3rd time taking a personality test and it showed up as INFJ-T and I can actually relate to everything you said here. The other times i took the test 3 and 2 years ago it came up as INFP and then INTP and for a long time I was confused about which one I am because I was able to relate to both of them (more INFP). Maybe I was a whole different type this whole time
And keep the knowing where to sit part: always been a stumper for me - although I think my Te helps a little by identifying the optimal place closest to the nearest exit, but that doesn't do much for my social finesse
Seems better than galloping randomly around the comment section with my big INTJ feet on a video that's not even about INTJs yet👣📢 My morning to shine like a star is future tense & of unknown detail 😏😏🌟👍
Idk I'm an INxJ i feel like because I alternate between INFJ and INTJ behaviours, some say it's Absurd and I'm wrong but... Idk it is how I feel about it
I'm intj and I lol-ed when you mention the Ni dom's nature, so accurate, well done! Please make another video like this for intjs. For your reference (if you need it), as intj, I'm suck at being likable, I procrastinate a lot, also bad at following routines. I know I have Polr Fe n Demon Si, what I dont understand is why I procrastinate a lot (What I mean with procrastinate here is I still get my daily work done but I procrastinate in doing my personal projects). Am I procrastinating because I'm a perfectionist? Isn't that makes me more like INTP? But I know I'm not mistyped, Ni is my nature, I use Ni my whole life even before I know what Ni is.
I get this 🙂 I'm an INFJ & I have difficulty with personal projects, too. That 'J' is a misnomer because we are dominant perceivers. (The problem of MBTI using the last letter of the code to indicate the introvert's first extraverted function) 🤷♀️
@@leogrrrl5876 Well, I know that INFJs have Polr Te which makes them bad at being efficient and systematic, so maybe for you (as INFJ) it is because of the Polr Te? Feel free to cmiiw However, INTJs have Aux Te, and I'm very good at getting things done (homeworks, chores, works, schedules, preparations, etc.) in the most efficient way and on time, but somehow I procrastinate on personal projects (projects that has no deadline, I've tried to create my own deadline but then I still procrastinate). Procrastinating is strange for me since I'm quite ambitious n usually very comfortable with my Te. Thus, I really want to get rid of the cause of my procrastination.
@@rossy3lo Yes, Te can be a problem for INFJs & Fe can cause us to focus more on other people's projects, but I find that Inferior Se can also cause an energy problem. I can finish work, errands, etc just fine, but maybe then it's a lack of juice from all the doing. Sucks to not have it available to invest in oneself, but we do live in a pretty hustle culture. (Well, I do! Not sure where you live)🙂
@@leogrrrl5876 well, I think it's safe to assume that every healthy high Te users do hustle =) that includes me, btw I'm always busy, not to the point of exhaustion, just to the point of running out of time. I procrastinate by being busy. I know it might sounds weird but really, it is a common thing for high Te users to procrastinate/avoid of doing sth by keeping busy until they've ran out of time to do the thing that they avoid. And the cycle keeps going n going. But I do realize that being busy is not a good thing, when it actually hinders me from achieving more. I really think that my procrastination rooted from my perfectionism. (The project I want to do is quite challenging, risky n very time consuming) Sigh. I have to do sth about it.
@@rossy3lo Well, perhaps you've figured it out then. You might also want to consider that our PoLR Te & PoLR Fe are clashing, bc all I did was say I could relate, & you're kind of arguing with me on the why. & yes, Ni users can have issues around perfection, but they can have issues around energy & developing their auxiliary as well. Check out Personality Hacker on this. (That's my Ti recommendation). Plus, if you're considering stacking, look at this one- ENTJ vs. INTJ.
People think I'm extraverted and a spontaneous person... but in reality is all well calculated to make them think like that...why do that? I don't actually know🤔
Do you know how you feel about things or do you need to feel out how other people feel to gauge whether or not it is appropriate? That is usually a pretty sharp distinction between the two. Hope this helps
Will check their 2nd functions, because that's the one will be obvious to people unlike Ni which is private and not easily explained, infj's 2nd function is Fe, so they're good with people and know how they feel and can work with that, intj's 2nd is Te which is thinking, planning and these things. Infj is the sage, intj is a mastermind.
I'm not INFJ, but I have an INFJ friend and at work he seems to have a well-rounded assertive balance. But outside of work, it's not bad...but it's not as good as when he's at work. I'm INTP and I'm actually in therapy to become more assertive as I have a hell of a hard time with it.
Hmmm, for this 50 something INFJ being assertive comes easier now than when I was young. Also, how agreeable or disagreeable I chose to be depends on the power dynamic between myself and the person I am communicating with. I also take into account the permanence or ephemeral nature of the relationship with the person. So, even if the power dynamic in my favor, I will be fairly diplomatic iif the person is a co worker, friend, family member,etc....Fe acrobatics at their finest.
We do get drained by people but not all the time. It's okay to say the INFJ gets drained at times. Maybe it's a scenario that shouldn't be so focused on, online but it is something that's common for any INFJ or introvert.
Infjs are always so chill with my extreme opinions of things (isfp) I’ll be like “there’s no kind god watching us, real gods don’t care about random atoms” and they’ll be like “bUt I cArE bUUuddY” they’re the only ones who will attempt to look at why I’m saying things, instead of just reacting to the sensation of what I’m saying. They are focused on how I felt when I said that, and not how it makes them feel. I both admire that and find it annoying.
@@jessicathespy what I have said to every fe user is this. “Who are you?” And they say some stuff they think they are and I say “that’s not who you are, that’s what you think, who are you?” 50% of the time they can’t answer directly and honestly. Then I say “you don’t even know who you are, what gives you the right to say who he is, or her, or him, or him, or anyone?” And usually it gets me nowhere but I at least gave them the idea. Infjs secretly think they know something, and if they are wrong, they won’t let people say so because they protect it. They protect they’re logical path and don’t want it to be diluted by the toxicity of others. But I think, that’s equally capable of toxicity. I think they’re logic paths needs to be exposed to what they are making judgements on, if not, what gives them the right to withhold this perception of others… I think fe can be a very genuine, and productive function, if they stopped being so defensive. Sometimes you gotta be a bit forceful and ruffle some feathers, to achieve real harmony. Maybe a mature infj, is one who attempts to use Fi at least a little in some ways. Maybe mimic it with a fe ti logic path.
It's not that Se doms say things as they are, they just lack in the area of seeing the nuance, and INFJ lives in the turbulent seas of nuance. You can't be disagreeable when you are trying to access all the nuance within a topic. You have to wait for it... and when we "explode" it's just because we've reached a certain level of certainty that we know can't be bent. When that happens we just need to learn to develop a level of compassion for self and integrate our self into our Fe adjustments and considerations. e.g. It's ok to doorslam sooner.
I disagree. Now is definitely the time! What better time for an INFJ to disagree than when there's not much here we can disagree with? Disagreeing with one or two points is much less overwhelming than disagreeing with an entire video's worth of them! That being said, well done. You've clearly done your homework, which made for great advice. P.S. I saw what you did there.
Idk about all of this. It's definitely x percent true, but also I think that I have some hardlines that are somewhat buried that people for whatever reason think that aren't there lol. Unlike infps with their sweetness and bitter anger whom we may all forgive for being charmingly contradictory. Infjs strive for consistency and calmness, yet also are seen as contradictory when we attempt to establish equilibrium in a forceful way upon occasion Why should we apologise for this though?? And yes I am sucked alive of my energy often by just being in the presence of a conflictive situation, even if I objectively reject it's essence..
I hate that I hate conflict this much , the slightest disagreement stresses me out and it's honestly exhausting
Me too. It's really really frustrating (
Why do you think that is?
Oh man, I'm in the midst of a friend having stress health crisis because of an emotionally abusive husband, and can I just hide until she leaves him. How to be in front of an abusive person and not nervously smile and nod while hope the earth opens up and envelopes him.
@@jessicathespy honestly I wouldn't know how to act if i were in your position, hope it gets better soon
Yes, it seems the more you communicate the more conflict turns up. I need to go back to being a visual artist, preferably an anonymous one
"Why INFJs suck at being introverts" I always described it as being "an introvert that wants to be an extrovert."
If I were at a party, I'd enjoy it, but I'd also be the quiet one in the corner that looks like they're not.
[INFJ]
Infp's (the assertives) sometimes fit into this mould too. I taper into my extroverted side when I'm comfortable. Love the limelight, but only by choice 😁
"If you're going to be disagreeable, now is not the time." I know you were joking but society literally feels like this
INTP here
Sometimes people force me to speak up, and then act (are ?) offended when I tell exactly what I think without attempting to be agreeable
It's almost always the ESTP types that I've known that seem to say this very thing. It's often also in the vain of "we need results, not debates."
I have a friend who is an infj. When I first met her, she asked me whether I wanted to be a writer. (This was after we had talked for almost an hour). At first it was shocking as I didn't even tell my closest friends about my writing as I was insecure that it wasn't good enough. And when I asked her why she said so she just smiled leaving me hella confused.
That is the most infj thing ive ever heard
So, Maybe INFJs Don’t Suck At Stocking.
We get some hunches that are uncannily accurate sometimes 🤷♂️ Couldn't tell you how it works lol
@@ECThurn
I definitely agree!
Like Nathan said in his video about Ni, it can boil something down to a concept, detach it, and see how it fits into something else.
Once we've garnered an understanding of what constitues a "writer" by our own intuitive definition, we can probably tell if our subconscious is telling us "hey this person fits into the pattern! They seem like a writer! "
And then we trust the hunch. 😅
@@ECThurn this is literally the best description I have ever heard about how this works
The trouble is that if as an INFJ I don't anticipate everything beforehand, it usually all goes wrong!
I can relate to this but also you can prepare to be not prepare: just accepting all the consecuences as they happen and all that could go 'wrong'. Appart for that mindset a way that works for me to prepare to be not prepared is to before any social meeting just avoid consume anything except for whats happening right now in the phisical world, you can do this preferably observing people pass by on the street. I've done this before knowing anything about the cognitive functions but it makes sense because probably it force your mind in to a fe-se state that its so much open to interact spontaneously with people.
I hope this helps c:
I have found that "softening things" to make it easier for the other person when anticipating a tough conversation with a "T" type can result in horrendous misunderstanding and your anticipated, logical outcome will go right out the window. What you anticipate as a small disagreement may be a relationship ender. There is a song "Cruel To Be Kind" that applies here. Sometimes it's better to just be blunt.
Exactly! The second I let down my guard, something goes wrong! 🙈
Speaking candidly (and as a non-INFJ), the issue that immediately stands out to me here is the usage of the word "wrong." How are you defining "wrong?" Not what you expected/planned for? Not what you wanted? Easier said than done, coming from an NP, but sometimes you have to let go of expectations and open your mind (heart?) up to a world of possibilities and let the chips fall where they may. Find the silver lining. Make lemonade. Roll with the punches. Let the wave crash over you (as in the buddhist philosophy of being unattached, less outcome-dependent), and countless other idioms. Or as the Cheshire cat said, "If you don't know where you're going, then any road will take you there." 😸
Yes yes yes. Agree with all 3 comments above. The biggest self-growth for me has been to understand that 'perfection' doesn't exist, life is inherently chaotic, and to let go of certain degree of control and expectations. Does it make me anxious still? Yes. Has it given me some really interesting memories and funny stories? Absolutely. And since my long time partner is xNFP, I get regular doses of chaos whether I want it or not. LOL Life is certainly less boring when you don't anticipate everything.
Me, INFJ: Why INFJ suck at relaxing, not overthinking and not feeling guilty
Fe, Ni and probably being neurotic (that's not a feature of all infjs). Read about it, you'll get to know better answers to your question.
@@grzegorzwalas4125 Yes, I know... I'm also autistic, so my neuroticism is high as hell 😅
@@Sweetsurey oh dear, it must be very difficult to find people who understand you well. My girlfriend is infj and she can relate event without being autistic. My advice is: don't be too harsh to yourself. You infjs are so good to others, so warm hearted :). I don't get it why you torture yourself so often and can't be a bit more relaxed :). It must be something about overthinking, being too empathetic, perfectionism, maybe something more.
@@grzegorzwalas4125 Oh my! Thank you very much!
You're welcome but I think I didn't do that much ;)
The parent Fe and critic Fi makes us VERY vulnerable to guilt. Often times, this can lead us to question our point of disagreement with a false sense of guilt for causing the conflict to begin with. However, when we get pushed too far we can definitely take a 180 and cause a conflict just to get the point across if we don't cut them out of our lives first 😅 its ironic how internally conflicted we are when we hate conflict 🙃
I've never related to something so hard
I felt guilty that I almost commented before fully comprehending your statements which I totally relate to as an INTP(probably) 🌻
yeah I agree... that Fe especially in the 2nd and 4th slot is hard to understand some times at least from my perspective. IMO Fe is definitely the most loose uncontrollable function of them all. It can look so sweet when used correctly, but so sour when not... ISTP
@@RRRsimracing Parent Fe is hard to balance, it can easily turn into a high standard that is unrealistic which is definitely off putting to say the least. Takes a lot of work to level it out with reason lol
@@TheHashSlingingSlasher548 very well expressed... indeed 👍
Am an INFJ and I thankfully now live in a culture where it is much more socially acceptable to be disagreeable. Am not a fan of conflict but am pretty capable of saying no and making people aware of my boundaries. My problem is that most people can't deal with being told (nicely) that they've hurt my feelings or overstepped a boundary, they just go into attack mode or try to blame my negative feelings on me. People with whom you can constructively talk about emotional issues and resolve them are from my experience absolute unicorns unfortunately.
Yes narcissists react very strongly to us nicely but firmly asserting our boundaries
Same! It took a lot of work on myself to be able to be assertive and set my boundaries.
Even now it is still difficult.
So when my close friends refuses to acknowledge when I tell them as kindly as possible that they went too far and hurt my feelings and play the victim... It hurts even more. Fortunately they don't do it generally. But everyone has been on edge lately so they take everything super personally. It's exhausting to see them.
But what you are talking about sounds like a narcissistic. If possible don't let them too much in your life. Put some distance, especially emotional distance between you and them.
This seems to be fairly common for us. I've seen debates on whether INFJ's are born or created. Intriguing! Either way it is our responsibility at the end of the day to assert ourselves and set boundaries. This applies to any type, but INFJs seem to have more difficulty embracing this concept. If those boundaries can't/won't be respected by the people we hold dear... Should we hold them as dear? It's difficult to limit contact without cutting someone out entirely, isn't it? But if there is a reason you absolutely can't stay away then limited contact, at times when your own self care is all done, can help us survive.
IF we can be created, we can recreate ourselves. Read that last line again.
Yeah I'm also a INFJ, when people make a request, I always say "yes" because I feel guilty/feel bad for saying no 🤣🤣🤣(I don't know why.)
1. Dude's hair is boss level.
2. Great video, as always!
I would describe it as bouffant
🤣🤣🤣
INTJ with a few INFJs in my life... they're really interesting to me. Similar yet different in strange ways
I agree with all of what you say. Most resonant is "Why would others want to be this way" I am a man in my 50's and I have learned how to manage the conflicting aspects. Saying that, my childhood was confusing and mentally chaotic. I was building my library of knowledge...later in life (30-50) things got better but I still had some issues. Now? I learned that I am an INFJ, I have discovered it's ups and downs. I love the Ni-Fe combo, it has served me well by better seeing people for who they pretend to be (we all wear a mask) and who they actually are, and the vast majority of the time they are good people who have all the same worries that everyone does. If you are on this site as an INFJ, good for you, you are learning about who you are...enjoy the journey
I agree with what you said about seeing people for who they pretend to be and who they really are. I’d like to go a bit deeper though. I’ve found it deeply troubling that many, if not most, tend to almost always believe themselves to be less than who/what I see behind the mask. This upsets me because this means that the majority of humans aren’t living up to their fullest potential because they’re not even aware that who they’re sooo afraid of, is actually way better than who they’re pretending to be. In this chaotic and cold world we now find ourselves in, it seems like now more than ever, is where we need to drop it, with the silly masks. As the fabric of our collective reality continues to unravel, those masks will become more and more absurd and nonsensical than they are, even now. Just look at some of the sick, strange characters people are currently idolizing (Cardi B - WAP - marketed to little girls😞). It’s pretty wild and terrifying. I’m an INFJ in my early 40s.
Also I've found that I have no problems whatsoever when to comes to being disagreeable, forceful and assertive when it comes to speaking for others or defending them.
It's as though my Fe becomes a source of strength and Fire, when I'm defending someone.
So if I'm at my work and speaking for the rights of students or a coworker, I can be very passionate, assertive and to the point. x)
It's funny how that works. 😅
I am similar as an INFP. I think a lot of feelers, especially introverted ones, deal with this issue.
Yes.
I'm still bad at approaching it though. Fe gives me strength but loses me control
I will win, but how much will i burn myself on the way?
Assertive at defending others, failure at including self. The book I'm Ok, You're Ok is a very good read for becoming more rounded in including oneself in things. It's still a challenge, I will sometimes find a way to defend others when its actually me that had felt slighted.
Related: I'm disabled and have a hard time advocating for myself or calling out friends when they're being abelist. I've learned to think of it as speaking for other disabled people that will later walk down the same path as myself, or educating my friends so they'll be better for the knowledge. Honestly, it really helps me find my voice.
@@elphieofkiamoko
That is very clever!
It's like bypassing the "humility" function x) I'll try that one for myself.
Also good on you for calling people out when they're being abelist and/or ignorant.
Well, ima just go ahead and not disagree with any of this.
Especially the sentiment of "Why would anyone want to be this type?"
I think I even expressed this in of my vids.
We're a strange combination of wanting nothing more than to help and understand others while being overwhelmed by them very easily and feeling like the odd one out that nobody can understand.
If we were created like that I'd call that sadism. If we evolved like that...well, no wonder there aren't many of us around.
Troof
Sad but true, my friend
As an INFJ, potential conflict is a struggle as I usually see what's really going on, but I don't want to slam someone with the hard truth so I put on the kitten mittens. The problem is that I think they're aware of my purposeful tact, when the reality is they're not. So after many kitten mitten scenarios, if they haven't adjusted for the 'problem', I blow up out of resentment. It feels that they've taken ALL the times that I've been diplomatic for granted. As I've matured, I've learned that most people actually don't see the purposeful diplomacy (rather, they confuse it with softness &/or lack of awareness) so ultimately, it's better to just say what I think & feel. But it's a real challenge to find that sweet spot between direct & benefit of the doubt
The "boiling over" thing was a huge problem when I was a teenager. I still struggle understanding my feelings before they explode, and when I try to share them with others, I tend to use emotionally loaded words without realizing it--and that can derail the conversation. Boundaries are hard.
"People who are actually INFJs have trouble understanding why other people want to be their type." WORD. "Conflicted" is also a good word... 😁 Thank you for not sugar coating us!
I'm estp and I met infj once. She is so calm, kind and understands human pehavior well - traits I didn't have but wanted to have. INFJs, ur so nice, love yourself for who you are
I'm INFJ and everyone always hates me and scapegoated me for life. People cannot be trusted to not take advantage of our meekness.
Yep It’s true and people thinking we are pushover because of that :(
I'm and intj and I had an infj best friend of nine years. We were so compatible that people actually though we were dating (both of us are females) and what caused the split was because my infj then best friend avoided conflict and confrontation (we were drifting away) and as much as I tried to keep the relationship together she was unresponsive. If she actually had resentment or an unknown grudge against me she would've confronted me about it like a normal human. But no she decided to stay silent and I have her so many chances to speak out with no prevail. Then out of no where I gave her the famous "door slam" and deactivated my social media accounts that we followed each other on :) I tried for 2 years then realized it was not worth it anymore. Now that I look back, I'm sure it wouldn't have ended up that way if she could of confronted me! And I'm sure it's 100% some stupid petty thing that I did or said that I didn't mean for it to be offense.. But whatever. Just know fellow INFJs that you avoiding conflict and building resentment WILL destroy your most precious relationships.
Communication is essential to any and all relationships and I am a huge communicator especially through letter form so care can be taken in the words conveyed. Oddly enough I am an INFJ who hates conflict but has trained myself to be THE main communicator in my relationships with people and I find most people suck at that terribly. I started doing it in my late twenties and have never stopped doing it in twenty years. It is my love and desire for getting along with others that drives me to communicate thoroughly. They usually do not appreciate it as they want to run from the responsibility addressing issues. There is hope for the INFJ if I can do it and was never even raised in society. I am an extreme introvert and learned how to be the dominant communicator with everyone hands down. It is my job in life it seems. I will communicate in any fashion required but I usually write letters.
Please make some more videos about ENFJs. Thanks from an ENFJ who watches pretty much every video uploaded.
I agree also as an enfj but at the same time i understand the scarcity:
1) i remember Nathan mentioned in one of his videos that he does not have an enfj around him irl
2) since enfjs are so few (statistically so and also as extroverts we are, we are underrepresented online compared to introverts) :/
Idk if it's from the same logic but i noticed that the enfj mug is the only one missing among the 16p mugs on his website thing :/
I couldnt imagine Nathan getting on with enfjs they are high spirited unusual people. Very fun but different
@@jessicathespy hmmm... Lol as an enfj who is maintaining a robust 10 yr friendship with an intp... i'll just say, "why not?"
My sister is an ENFJ and one of my seriously good friends as well, would love to see such a video on ENFJs too 😊
@@正-d4i I dont mean all intps, I have a enfj friend going through a big ol divorce from an intp, it's a natural attraction, just based on nathan personal personality here on the channel I couldnt imagine him being ok with the steam rolling enfjs do.
Some Infj prefer Ni/Ti over Ni/Fe. It is called a jumper or ops type.That does not mean that they are stuck in Ni/Ti all day, as people often think. Fe is there, it just does not want to participate.
This is the comment I wanted to see, thank you
Yep,I tend to be more like this.
There's no such thing as jumper type. It's a cognitive impossibility as well as an anatomy impossibility. Being a jumper type is about as real as having a naruto dojutsu on earth
I would say the 'jumper' type is nonsense. In truth Ti in that case would just be overexaggerated and Fe was neglected in development. No function in your psyche just 'opts out' from being involved except maybe the 4th function by its anxiety. I would say that it is being stuck in a Ni Ti loop just over a long period of time. Eventually Fe will kick in and become involved, its just a matter of when, or a possible mistype. They are much more common than you would expect. Ti child has the risk of adopting a god complex and believe it is correct by its own merit because 'it just makes sense to me'. Be careful for that, I had that same problem when I was younger and it alienates those around you. Not accusing that is the case btw, just putting it out there.
objective personality is very real, unlike mbti,it's all about the functions. You can search objective personality INFJ: Spectrum of 32 subtypes!
"If you're going to be disagreeable, now is not the time." ...... Too funny! LMAO
Random Fact: If I Were A Tattoo Artist I Would Work Exclusively On Women's Anatomy. I Would Name It ... Tats4Tits And For The Grand Opening I Would Offer A " Two For The Price Of One,” Special. OK, Now Back To The Less Interesting Subject Of The INFJ.
@@ClubENTP LMAO I've had young people assume that my moniker refers to tattoos and tits, but for the older crowd, I'll assume y'all know better. On a different note, I always thought an upscale men's clothing store should be called the Dandy Lion. Today the name would be quite apt for the LBGTQ fluff. As for INFJs being less interesting? Never!
@@Dragonalynn Yes I Know Better But I Can’t Help Myself. I Like Big Puns And I Can Not Lie.
@@ClubENTP YOU are MY kind of people. Your line puts you right up there with AC/DC's Big Balls. It seems punning is rapidly becoming a lost art. I once read that the pun is the lowest form of humor and yet only the most intelligent can do it. Along these lines (stolen) you might enjoy a little known fictitious fact that due to the narrowness of the buckboards of the wagons in the wagon trains heading west, there was a weight limit put in place for the traveling settlers. It was stated only as that there was simply no west for the reary.
@@Dragonalynn And Now You Know The West Of The Story. I Actually Live At The End Of The Lewis And Clark Trail. That’s A Non Fiction Fact. lol You’re Definitely Enlighten. Join My Club And Stay Tuned To My ENTP Talk Show/Comedy/Cage Fighting/Music Video Channel And Enjoy The Chaos.
I think most of the thinkers give high fe too much credit. fe doesn't necessarily mean great social skills. people tend to forget that we're ni-doms first. to my understanding and experience ni is the most reclusive, personal and even the most self-absorbed function. the last time I met up with a friend was at least 2 months ago. and I'm totally okay with that. as long as my ni is well and functioning, lack of social life is not much of an issue. sure I need and crave human connection but I don't think it's more than an average person's need. most thinkers need to reevaluate their understanding of aux fe, if you ask me.
yeah high Fe is strange, It really varies based on the intelligence and neuro-sensitivity of the xnfj. There's a lot of nuance, but in theory, Ni is the most subjective, most introverted, most "removed from reality" function. It's the "cave function" a la Plato, Elijah and other such biblical heroes. It's where, according to legend, God speaks to you lol.
@@satoshinakamoto5710 yes. Jung even says that if introverted intuition had not existed, there would have been no prophets. this quote alone speaks for itself. dominant ni is pure alienation. in the worst and the best sense.
It is so satisfying to feel understood for once. Thank you for making such insightful content, it's helped me better understand my own brain! ❤
Disagree as infj A. Im very assertive and express it firmly but nicely. The introvert part is spot on 🤣
Being a friend with another INFJ is both awesome and annoying because yes we are very considerate of each other but on some subjects we can do a lot of beating around the bush and damn that’s so annoying.
I recently found out that I was an INFJ, researched a bit and was disturbed by being pinned so accurately. Took many of the tests to be sure…..
Now I’m looking at these videos as a way to help me be a healthier person. Conflict and boundaries are my weakness. Nobody ever understood when I told them I was an extroverted introvert…. Now I have a more understanding of myself.
"If your going to be disagreeable, now is not the time"
Favorite line
I'm working as a career counsellor in a highschool, and I've had to have very difficult conversations with some students.
I think it's good that I'm getting the opportunity to practice them those kinds of conversations, because - like you said - it's not really my strength.
Something I've found though is that I can sort of "switch off" my Fe, or at least have it change places with Ti, and put my points across in a very matter of fact kind of way.
I'm definitely someone who wraps everything I say in cotton candy, but thanks to learning from coworkers who (I think) are Se and Te dominants, I've started to be more assertive in getting to the point, both with coworkers and students.
I'm also a bit older (30) so I think just having life-experience is a good way to mature in general. I've had to stand up for myself, and had tough conversations where i almost had panic attacks, because I kept imagining the worst possbile outcome with relationships I had.
But having experienced "the worst" and survived it, I'm more confident in my ability to be assertive and disagreeable.
Also, I also think it's a little weird that people would Want to be INFJ x)
I'm sure there are downsides to all the types but, having High Fe *and* being introverted intuitive and drained by social interactions isn't really a great combo 😅
Plus, if INFJs really are as rare as people think, you don't really have many people you can comiserate with either.
Fighting brings out our Super Ego.
It releases a beast that we cannot control, that nobody can survive.
I cringe every time I let Fe get in the way of assertiveness. Still working on it. But I try not to give my self a hard time about is (as us Infj are apt to do) I focus instead on being the best at what I do in life and things that captivate my Ni-Ti, than worry about power struggles. Compartementilising helps aswell, they are their feelings not mine.
Also I've learnt to not expect everyone to be so empathetically switched on as I am. Not all people are caring of others, they don't care about you and trying to get ahead in life by whatever means possible, it releases you from thinking you have to somehow invest in these people, beyond your own desire just for polite and courteous communication. Basically be nice, firm and move on.
My ESTP friend is helping me break out of my shell and be more assertive/less temperamental, and in turn I'm helping him be more open with his feelings, being less blunt and with thinking outside the box. We learn a lot from each other.
I definitely think something that has helped me is not giving myself as much time to think about something before I do it, because of my over-thinking tendencies. I know it is not necessarily good to be impulsive, but if I am given too much of an opportunity to analyse something, I will generally overthink myself out of a situation or into a deconstructive headspace
As a teen infj I can say that being raised by a narc parent (to any degree) or family structure that involves disregard of boundaries in any way, saying no to elders a crime and excessive demands on child by parents primarily a mother or the attachment figure ingrains such disagreement, peacemaker and avoiding confrontation/conflicts as a dominant way of acting which is included in Fe...acc to my perception!✨🥺
Thank you so much for this platform to express myself!!
Great video, thank you! I personally 'Fe' not as "being nice", but more as wanting to prevent a feeling of guilt or residual negativity... Sometimes, that means telling a person your feelings, even if it's uncomfortable, especially if they are threatening/demeaning someone I care about! :P
I'm so INFJ that
I know if I don't subscribe I would still get your videos by recommendations from TH-cam analytics.
But I also subscribed because it might even be of a small help to you :)
this is on point. I was thinking that i can actually be very disagreeable and end up fighting a lot with people - which i hate doing
And then you said just that. I've been working as a waiter for a few months at a high end restaurant which means a lot of running and pressure. My Se gets overwhelmed suuuper fast, especially when i have to Fe deal with all the other waiters/managers and their own crap
So yeah, sure waiting for that moment when i 'mature'
As an INFJ I honestly love being that type, yes inferior Se sucks, but embracing that "conflict" of the opposite traits is hella fun.
My husband (ESFJ) and I (INFJ) call our type combination FeFe (fee-fee), lol, because we struggle with saying yes to everything people want to do with us even when we're exhausted and have no time for each other, relationships with family and friends are the most important thing in the world to both of us, and having to have a difficult conversation with a family member or friend is like the most inhumane torture ever. 😬 Every time Fe trumps one of our goals (like going to bed early, spending more time together, or having a weekend at home), we say the FeFe won again 😂
I’m an INFJ married to an ESFJ husband too! Does your husband have an interest in MBTI? Mine very patiently listens to me talk about it, but he can only take so much at a time! He didn’t care for typology theories at first, but he’s come to see the value in them. I feel like our shared FE is part of what makes us so compatible. Also, he’s so good with sensory details - he’s kept me out of trouble many times!
@@stephanieokkay Oh, how cool! 😊 My husband definitely didn't have an interest at first, but now he sees the value in how it helps him understand and relate to other people, and he watches all our favorite MBTI TH-camrs with me. I totally agree it's our shared Fe that makes us so compatible. It gives us many shared traits and values, and you're so right - his Si is a lifesaver! 😂 I feel like we're the perfect balance with shared Fe and the opposite Si/Ni situation to make things interesting and help each other grow.
I’m a 40 year old infj male married to a esfj female it’s funny how she at first wasn’t that interested in Mbti but after a while with me explaining why people interact the way they do she got semi on board with it.we get annoyed with each other sometimes when having a conversation she likes to keep it in the shallow end (shopping,tv shows,what the neighbours are doing next door🙄)while I’m trying to drag it to the deep abstract world
@@andrewcook3661 My ESFJ thinks it’s funny that I get so much energy when I’m talking about theories and ideas. I think it’s amazing that he can remember so many details from his childhood. He’s really good at knowing what I need, too. Before I knew anything about personality theories, he recognized that I require alone time, and so he makes sure I get a lovely portion of solitude everyday. It’s made an incredible difference for me.
@@stephanieokkay alone time that would be nice with three young kids 2 being extroverts😩😂
I am an INFP and I can relate to the first point. I am extremely conflict avoidant and try to sugarcoat certain statements because I don’t want to hurt them. Any other INFPs who feel this way?
Yes! But my ENTP friend encourages me to go ahead and say what I need to say without fear of hurting feelings because some other thinking types literally care less about their feelings 🤣 I'm like, what?!? How is that possible 🤔🤣
@@FEMSuccessCircle Hahah, your friend is right!
I'm an INTP and I'd rather someone be blunt and honest with me than sugarcoat things to avoid hurting "my feelings". That feels super patronizing, really, like I'm a child that can't accept the real world. The more I crush my comfort zones, the happier I feel, and I appreciate people who think I'm strong enough to bear their true thoughts.
Not to say I can't sugarcoat things when necessary. I had to develop my Fe to teach and to navigate social situations, but I always feel bad when I have to sugarcoat things, like I'm the one patronizing other people. It makes me feel like a hypocrite.
@@FEMSuccessCircle I think it can be true until you inadvertently step on their inferior function Feeling. I know an ENTJ where the Fi will suddenly rise up out of nowhere, & it's like, "You were just tongue lashing me with your Te! Now you're upset?" Can't win. SMH
Yeah, I tend to be pretty conflict-avoidant and careful with people's feelings.
it makes sense. INFJs don't know how to approach the situation and the Fe heats us up
INFPs don't even know what the situation is
This is a nother great idea for learning about the different types, thank you :)
Also I loved the ending "if you are going to be disagreeable now is not the time" Hahaha!
"Avoid overthinking" ... I wish it was an easy task. Fun fact is that my close friends get it even if I am not even talking, while trying to "sneak out" from being overthinking (loud) with my silence ...
I feel really called out... but you’re definitely not wrong! 😅
All I could say is, “I got you brother!” You got it 👍🏾 very agreeable
On the nose. I’ve taken to forcing myself to think about other things in order to stop the spiral of ruminating on what might happen. That way I can potentially enjoy what’s coming. I don’t need to know ALL the details, even if I might want them.
I already love this series. I hope you will make a video like this about INTJs soon :))
Bingo. Infj here.. everyone loves my social skills but I would rather be alone. Never bored alone. Zillions of projects. Haha!!! Nothing you said can make us snap. Lol
I do get drained..it's just not all the time.. It's not necessarily interacting in itself but all the other things that go with it. It's more than just.. You talk, I talk.. Everybody's happy and we're done, no worries..
I don't have trouble with being spontaneous as long as I'm going to a place where there are people I will probably not see again. I have always naturally chameleoned so well that my first 5 minutes to 30 minutes with any person I have no problem with and enjoy greatly. I love making strangers happy, and small talk can reveal more about people than they think. My dad is an ESFP, I loved watching him talk small talk with people. I learned so much about people without understanding what I was doing. I got good at mimicking him when I needed to interact. As I got older and more confident mirroring people, I know I can charm the pants off of most people for a short time. If I think I'm going to have to know them longer than that I can panic, because the can disguise crumble in a very messy way.
Small talk can save a life.
hate conflict and sometimes I over compensate by being overly aggressive
my god, i do feel like being called out. lol.
but i have to say, nowadays i'm feeling more and more confident at setting boundaries. i tell ppl when i don't like certain things or if i do this or that, i tell them before hand that it wasn't on them. it was more of 'me' thing.
and damn, yes. i suck at being actual introvert. i crave interactions so bad but once everyone's lowkey orbiting around me, i just want to dig a hole and never come out. it's frustrating.
and that overthinking thing.. ha ha. yea. i found a way to tone it down by reading and playing games. idk if that's a good thing but at least i'm not waking up at 3 am in the morning staring at the ceiling thinking about secret of the universe or my existential crisis..
Well, everyone wants to be another person than themselves, but as you grow older, you will start to appreciate why you're that way
Love the witty remark at the end.
A wall of text, once more.
The way I figured out to enforce boundaries for myself is when I realised that my problem with them is not from within, but from without (Fe). I'm going to borrow OPS "tribe" thingy to get my point across. I find it difficult to press against someone else when it's an internal value, my Fi critic would create inner conflict, but the issue is with Fe and lack of tribe definition, when there is no tribe then everyone is my tribe, including that toxic person that is yelling at me right now. I tend to be subservient to my tribe.
The way I started doing it recently is that I outsourced internal values that my body was screaming about when other values were being forced on me to an external conceptual tribe that may or may not exist. It's basically a group of people that are allowed in when they exhibit particular values and I am convinced about that, until then they are outside my tribe. I am only subject to my tribe and the people that are allowed in will not do certain things, when they cross a line they may get warned or kicked out if it is something really bad. They are subject to a set of values exterior to themselves and when they go against them then that excludes them from the tribe as it has a conceptual nature.
I go with this further and have layers in my tribe, there are reserved spots because I haven't found people to fill those places, but there are no fall backs. Just because a spot is empty it doesn't mean that the person in the layer below gets to have a say. When people outside the tribe judge me it is easier to discard their judgements because they are not part of any layer, at best I give some consideration to what they are saying and maybe consult with someone in my tribe, but they don't have as much impact as they once did.
I think you can see a lot of the INFJ functions at work here because the tribe is basically a layered system whose structure is governed by logic (Ti, the layers have a set of permissions and privileges, each having their own purposes even if two layers are at the same level, this can be granularized as much as needed). The tribe is defined by values (Fe), basically reflecting values that I want to be judged on rather than having people randomly judging me on what they think what is important. I can pick the people that judge me and discard the other judgements, I can acknowledge them as being part of a different tribe with its own values, we can still work together even if we are from different cities.
I can bounce off people more easily when they are intrusive with this because they are simply not part of my tribe. Not asserting the boundary discards the tribe while asserting it marks my tribe more important to me as not everyone gets the same access. I don't have to fight the other person, I just simply deny them the information. E.g.: "I only talk to friends about that of which you are not.".
I like your logic!
I sometimes wish I was someone who was dense,can't read between the lines. But I can sense everything, I tend to absorb the feelings of others, and it's uncomfortable if the feeling is negative. I used to think everybody was like that, but I saw people who were insensitive when someone was expressing their vulnerable side. It was a shock to me.
Anger expressed reminds me of people who can't communicate, communication is a two way street. People need to make time to be able to communicate better. Not everyone cares to. Or very bad timing.
Gosh, you're gonna have a field day when you do the INFP one 😞
The worst part is when your mother is an INFJ with BPD or an INTJ with Narcissism, and the differences are so nuanced that it's exhausting as an ENFJ trying to keep her stress free.
Yeah this hits home. I'd like to think that I've developed the ability to have tough conversations by now in my 30s. But it's been a journey and I used to wait until I snapped. Also the being competent in social settings but being easily drained by them, and overthinking down to where I'm going to sit. Yup.
Thank you for understanding me, and helping others to do so by making videos for them; like this one.
I am careful with how I phrase things. If I have previously noticed that certain words may ‘trigger’ an inner reaction in someone, I would avoid using such word. I understand that our brains tend to make mental connection between a spoken word with a past trauma, or notion that is deeply rooted in someone. However, I prefer honest approach and directness. Rephrasing things is not indirect approach. It’s simply a more understanding and careful one. I am aware that this may seem/ sound as an indirect one to others, but that is perhaps because most associate direct approach with: say the first thing that comes to mind without putting much thought into it.
As an INFJ, I can indeed confirm that I really like spending time with people. Not just random people, but the people I know and care about. I need time alone too, but I'm usually happiest when I'm with another person
I can’t wait for other types.
These are such constructive insights for personal growth, honestly.
I'm in the video and I don't like it. jks I feel so seen! I have always thought 'why the hell would anyone want to be an infj?! I feel like an absolute walking nightmare of a person' 😂
Best advise for a struggling infj and what had really helped me, especially with overthinking, is to just jump in the deep end. Go for it and don't think!! Terrifying yes, but you'll be surprised at just how much you can go with the flow. Awesome video, thank you ☺️
Good God, man! How on earth do you grok my type so thoroughly and accurately?! I may have actually physically flinched at least 3 times during this video 😬
“Boiling over is not being assertive.”
“In many ways, INFJs are a conflicted type...”
“Who’s going to be there? What do I know about them? What should I wear? What’s the vibe going to be?”
Indeed. Welcome to every day of my life!
Omg, I got Frank James advertising Ur My Type at the beginning of the video xD
This is what we're like...and then you get to know us and our inner estp comes out and shocks the shit out of everyone.
*enfp
Oh! The poor poor petty people are so difficult to not pity, I hate having to add insult to injury.
I once had a button given to me which (that?) said, “It’s been lovely, but I have to scream now”. I still boil over after being calm a long while. I don’t think I’m improving.
This was a really great video, thanks Nathan
Well I this is my 3rd time taking a personality test and it showed up as INFJ-T and I can actually relate to everything you said here. The other times i took the test 3 and 2 years ago it came up as INFP and then INTP and for a long time I was confused about which one I am because I was able to relate to both of them (more INFP). Maybe I was a whole different type this whole time
Can't wait for INTJ video make it ASAP ,,,...... thanks useful video 🙂
And keep the knowing where to sit part: always been a stumper for me - although I think my Te helps a little by identifying the optimal place closest to the nearest exit, but that doesn't do much for my social finesse
Now why would you comment in my reply section ?
Seems better than galloping randomly around the comment section with my big INTJ feet on a video that's not even about INTJs yet👣📢
My morning to shine like a star is future tense & of unknown detail 😏😏🌟👍
Why our huts are AWAY from the village...
Very well-executed advising 👍
Wow perfect description.
My mom is an INFJ and this is pretty spot on.
Number 1: Everything
Here is another comment for your video. I enjoy your content . Also, I wish I had your hair. It is beautiful .
This Is Not The Time To Be Disagreeable? That’s Debatable -ENTP
We are supposed to be productive, yet here we both are. :) -ENTP
@@thetakeawayis Ha Ha Ha! You Caught Me Trolling On Another Channel. Fancy Meeting You Here. LMFAO!!!
Idk I'm an INxJ i feel like because I alternate between INFJ and INTJ behaviours, some say it's Absurd and I'm wrong but... Idk it is how I feel about it
I'm intj and I lol-ed when you mention the Ni dom's nature, so accurate, well done! Please make another video like this for intjs. For your reference (if you need it), as intj, I'm suck at being likable, I procrastinate a lot, also bad at following routines. I know I have Polr Fe n Demon Si, what I dont understand is why I procrastinate a lot (What I mean with procrastinate here is I still get my daily work done but I procrastinate in doing my personal projects). Am I procrastinating because I'm a perfectionist? Isn't that makes me more like INTP? But I know I'm not mistyped, Ni is my nature, I use Ni my whole life even before I know what Ni is.
I get this 🙂 I'm an INFJ & I have difficulty with personal projects, too. That 'J' is a misnomer because we are dominant perceivers. (The problem of MBTI using the last letter of the code to indicate the introvert's first extraverted function) 🤷♀️
@@leogrrrl5876 Well, I know that INFJs have Polr Te which makes them bad at being efficient and systematic, so maybe for you (as INFJ) it is because of the Polr Te? Feel free to cmiiw
However, INTJs have Aux Te, and I'm very good at getting things done (homeworks, chores, works, schedules, preparations, etc.) in the most efficient way and on time, but somehow I procrastinate on personal projects (projects that has no deadline, I've tried to create my own deadline but then I still procrastinate). Procrastinating is strange for me since I'm quite ambitious n usually very comfortable with my Te. Thus, I really want to get rid of the cause of my procrastination.
@@rossy3lo Yes, Te can be a problem for INFJs & Fe can cause us to focus more on other people's projects, but I find that Inferior Se can also cause an energy problem. I can finish work, errands, etc just fine, but maybe then it's a lack of juice from all the doing. Sucks to not have it available to invest in oneself, but we do live in a pretty hustle culture. (Well, I do! Not sure where you live)🙂
@@leogrrrl5876 well, I think it's safe to assume that every healthy high Te users do hustle =) that includes me, btw
I'm always busy, not to the point of exhaustion, just to the point of running out of time. I procrastinate by being busy. I know it might sounds weird but really, it is a common thing for high Te users to procrastinate/avoid of doing sth by keeping busy until they've ran out of time to do the thing that they avoid. And the cycle keeps going n going. But I do realize that being busy is not a good thing, when it actually hinders me from achieving more.
I really think that my procrastination rooted from my perfectionism. (The project I want to do is quite challenging, risky n very time consuming) Sigh. I have to do sth about it.
@@rossy3lo Well, perhaps you've figured it out then. You might also want to consider that our PoLR Te & PoLR Fe are clashing, bc all I did was say I could relate, & you're kind of arguing with me on the why. & yes, Ni users can have issues around perfection, but they can have issues around energy & developing their auxiliary as well. Check out Personality Hacker on this. (That's my Ti recommendation). Plus, if you're considering stacking, look at this one- ENTJ vs. INTJ.
Great video as usual Nathan!
People think I'm extraverted and a spontaneous person... but in reality is all well calculated to make them think like that...why do that? I don't actually know🤔
I live in California, USA, and it is 3:30am, Jesus Christ, time differences.
One for intj too, please! I still can't work out which one I am...
Do you know how you feel about things or do you need to feel out how other people feel to gauge whether or not it is appropriate? That is usually a pretty sharp distinction between the two. Hope this helps
Will check their 2nd functions, because that's the one will be obvious to people unlike Ni which is private and not easily explained, infj's 2nd function is Fe, so they're good with people and know how they feel and can work with that, intj's 2nd is Te which is thinking, planning and these things. Infj is the sage, intj is a mastermind.
I'm not INFJ, but I have an INFJ friend and at work he seems to have a well-rounded assertive balance. But outside of work, it's not bad...but it's not as good as when he's at work. I'm INTP and I'm actually in therapy to become more assertive as I have a hell of a hard time with it.
Hmmm, for this 50 something INFJ being assertive comes easier now than when I was young.
Also, how agreeable or disagreeable I chose to be depends on the power dynamic between myself and the person I am communicating with. I also take into account the permanence or ephemeral nature of the relationship with the person.
So, even if the power dynamic in my favor, I will be fairly diplomatic iif the person is a co worker, friend, family member,etc....Fe acrobatics at their finest.
We do get drained by people but not all the time. It's okay to say the INFJ gets drained at times. Maybe it's a scenario that shouldn't be so focused on, online but it is something that's common for any INFJ or introvert.
This is my hubs and I love him.
INFJ here, I related to so much of this.
Umm sir hair care routine?!?! Please
Infjs are always so chill with my extreme opinions of things (isfp) I’ll be like “there’s no kind god watching us, real gods don’t care about random atoms” and they’ll be like “bUt I cArE bUUuddY” they’re the only ones who will attempt to look at why I’m saying things, instead of just reacting to the sensation of what I’m saying. They are focused on how I felt when I said that, and not how it makes them feel. I both admire that and find it annoying.
We will do everything we can to not judge too deeply, you'll also never know their true judgements of you unless you marry one
@@jessicathespy lol
@@jessicathespy what I have said to every fe user is this. “Who are you?” And they say some stuff they think they are and I say “that’s not who you are, that’s what you think, who are you?” 50% of the time they can’t answer directly and honestly. Then I say “you don’t even know who you are, what gives you the right to say who he is, or her, or him, or him, or anyone?” And usually it gets me nowhere but I at least gave them the idea. Infjs secretly think they know something, and if they are wrong, they won’t let people say so because they protect it. They protect they’re logical path and don’t want it to be diluted by the toxicity of others. But I think, that’s equally capable of toxicity. I think they’re logic paths needs to be exposed to what they are making judgements on, if not, what gives them the right to withhold this perception of others… I think fe can be a very genuine, and productive function, if they stopped being so defensive. Sometimes you gotta be a bit forceful and ruffle some feathers, to achieve real harmony. Maybe a mature infj, is one who attempts to use Fi at least a little in some ways. Maybe mimic it with a fe ti logic path.
Thats not a controversial opinion lol
1:11 assertive problem
2:20 introvert problem
2:51 everything and spontaneous problem
It's not that Se doms say things as they are, they just lack in the area of seeing the nuance, and INFJ lives in the turbulent seas of nuance. You can't be disagreeable when you are trying to access all the nuance within a topic. You have to wait for it... and when we "explode" it's just because we've reached a certain level of certainty that we know can't be bent. When that happens we just need to learn to develop a level of compassion for self and integrate our self into our Fe adjustments and considerations. e.g. It's ok to doorslam sooner.
I disagree. Now is definitely the time! What better time for an INFJ to disagree than when there's not much here we can disagree with? Disagreeing with one or two points is much less overwhelming than disagreeing with an entire video's worth of them! That being said, well done. You've clearly done your homework, which made for great advice.
P.S. I saw what you did there.
That's genius 👏
Wow 94k subs!!!🤘🤘🤘
Idk about all of this. It's definitely x percent true, but also I think that I have some hardlines that are somewhat buried that people for whatever reason think that aren't there lol. Unlike infps with their sweetness and bitter anger whom we may all forgive for being charmingly contradictory.
Infjs strive for consistency and calmness, yet also are seen as contradictory when we attempt to establish equilibrium in a forceful way upon occasion
Why should we apologise for this though??
And yes I am sucked alive of my energy often by just being in the presence of a conflictive situation, even if I objectively reject it's essence..
Being an INFJ feels like a contradiction! No idea why anyone would want to live in such a way haha! 🤔
In the wrong settings, it's basically cognitive dissonance.