I actually appreciate the thought, but I would like the option of not going. Also if it is to a place I know and like with a few friends I know and like, then I would like to be invited. But like, once a week XD
Well, I'm INFJ, and yes, I agree. But sometimes they really forget me, and most most most of the times, and, sometimes, it makes me think "I'm nothing for them?... should I change my personality?..." but when I discovered I was INFJ, that was Glory for me. I mean, I need real friends, I really know with their acts that they just want me when they need me or need something. because I'm the only one who can helps and understand them.
I think it meant by... like... Meeting a person that is an INFJ and in the same time he/she is having a Breakdown...I think they would propably be in the Void Looking at nothingness and like that there are not present making them... Looking scary and frightning by what will they do and say...(Personal experience as an INFJ)...
I have no idea about other INFJs but these are the things that actually attract me: -Chill, funny, deep, CONFIDENT people: we get overwhelmed by things that aren't planned, but will feel safe if we sense that you are confident in what you're doing. Unexpected things are scary, but can be exciting (and REALLY attractive) if we see that you can deal with unexpected situations. Basically, I am attracted to people who don't have the same "weaknesses" as me, because it makes me feel safe and complete. -And as for dates, I like places that feel magical. Lights, nature, music...beautiful places thrill me because I need so little adrenaline to feel happy.
Omg yesss about the same weaknesses part. I can't deal with my own weaknesses and I sure don't have the remedy for them, so if you've got the same, it's the blind leading the blind. I love helping people figure out their problems when I have the energy, so if youve got a weakness where I am strong, I'm happy to help.
The Snugglery, my ISTJ is a lot of fun. He trusts me enough to be spontaneous and he dives into activities that require physical effort and good sense. The are so underrated!!
"Infjs like it when you tell them ahead of time what to expect". *Yes, for the love of god.* I dated a guy once who invited me to go to a friend's house to play games (the way he spoke made it seem like he meant it would just be that friend and his wife, not that friend, his wife, and everyone they know). We showed up, and the house was full of people I had never met. The guy I was dating, left me to "socialize" with people, while he went upstairs and played video games with his friend for a few hours. I found their dog and offered to take it on a walk just to get out of there. I was gone the entire party, and when I returned he asked me if I enjoyed myself. I told him what I did, and he just laughed at me. This is *not* how you seduce an INFJ.
The question is, why did you date that guy in the first place? Obviously you would predict what the future would be like with him before dating him, right?
@@latiie Another person clinging to stereotypical generalizations. How could I have known that he would do that at the time? We had just started dating. It wasn't his pattern to leave me alone. INFJs aren't seers. We are able to pick up patterns of behavior and see the endpoint, but not before the experience without any previous sign of that pattern.
I hate dating. How do you know you want to spend that time, without knowing the person first?? The system is backwards. I prefer getting to know people over the course of YEARS, under normal circumstances. There's nothing more appealing than getting a feel for someone over a long period of time, developing that authentic connection in a non-dating setting is the most seductive. And least probable. Also, it's important to MISS the person. So, you have to, well, essentially, spend a substantial amount of time NOT together. THAT is very seductive.
Met my wife this way. We wrote for months, no expectations, long distance before our first date. I would have died single if not for that "who is this person?" time.
100% agree! I’m an INFJ and I keep saying that I don’t understand dating because indeed the system is backwards, thank you for putting it into words so eloquently
As an INFJ I’ve stopped going on dates altogether because I simply cannot grow feelings for someone I just met when there’s already the expectation of romance. I don’t understand how people can go on dates and become intimate really quickly and only afterwards really establish an emotional bond. For me that has to come first, I first have to get to know someone and grow fond of someone and only THEN could I think about dating them or becoming physically involved with them.
I've never felt so heard before in my entire life you've just encompassed the feelings I've been battling and trying to understand to no avail and made me feel as though I am not insane, thank you - sincerely, fellow INFJ
This is exactly why I deleted any and every dating app I was ever on! I tried chatting with a few people, I even went on two or three dates, but eventually I always stepped back. After a while, I realised it simply didn’t work for me. The very knowledge that we were both there seeking a potential relationship made it sound… fake, forced. Unfortunately, not being a party animal and having just a small group of introverted friends I’m pretty much hopeless. I’ve already made peace with my fate: my life as a cats’ “mom”🤣🥲
For me as an INFJ, I need to feel comfortable with the person, for that to happen I need to feel them out, otherwise it won't go anywhere. I love theme parks and movies, but I think that stuff will be more enjoyable once I get to know the person more. Simple walks, beautiful scenery are all I need. I also want to make the other person comfortable, not always have my way. I would like conversations to go deeper after a while, depth is always welcomed for an INFJ.
For some reason all of the infjs I talked to all came back to small talk... the only person initiating deeper topics was me (ENTP, hi :D) and they answered it, but at the same time avoided it. XD
@@Lyllie_ Walking contradictions I tell you, haha. I think we like deep topics, but when it's personal stuff it might be harder, more about ourselves. Do they know you well? Spent enough time around you? How do they see you in their life? I can be like that at first, but if it's always small talk it'd be maddening, I want to graduate from that. Unless they aren't really INFJ lol
@@Lyllie_ Probably not "real" INFJs :) And or not comfy enough ( yet ). Many variables, but if you spoke, or did hang out for let's say over an hour even, and you don't find, hear or intuit some Ni-depth or intensity, I doubt that human is an INFJ-ego. But also like J Mz mentioned below, contradictions and all that stuff. Also, maybe those you do know, who might be INFJs, could be more Fe in company. It is rather hard to Ni-it-away with 9999,999 %%%%(%(% of people. Not that bad, but you get the point hehe.
“No one understands INFJs” This is because no one has the same motivation for social interactions as us. We are gathering data, on people, for the purpose of improving people’s lives. So. We can always be interested in you, genuinely. But you won’t be able to tell how deep the interest goes. For that, it’s best to ask, ideally through text, to give time to respond. We probably don’t know the answer right away because we aren’t not in touch with our own feelings when it comes to other people. People fall for us constantly because we are so understanding and we rarely take it seriously. I’m often in “mothering” mode and that doesn’t switch to romance easily. Everyone loves their mom. You have to demonstrate that I don’t need to mother you. If you are self-sufficient emotionally and still like my company...that’s the most attractive quality you could have.
“no one has the same motivation for social interaction as us. We are gathering data, on people, for the purpose of improving people’s lives.” That is a curious statement to me because as an INTJ I find that I do understand it. I do the same thing myself with the intent of improving people’s circumstances or environment. Not that I’m terribly good at it, but when I do interact with people that is the intent.
I don't like amusement parks because I hate most of the scary rides, and movies are not intimate enough. I love walks in the park though, and I cannot speak for all INFJs but hiking is one of my favorite things to do. If you want to seduce an INFJ be your genuine self and it will either work or fail, but at least you will get a clear answer.
gremlins 347 *This right here!* Don’t you dare fake your personality around me or try to make “fake change”, cause I will instantly see through it and it will feel disingenuous and I will be instantly turned off. When people say that INFJs look for a soulmate, I couldn’t agree more. It means to connect with one’s soul, one’s heart, one’s very core. And you can’t change that core no matter what happens. You might be able to change other things on the outside, but the INFJs won’t care about it as much as what is on the inside. So as an INFJ, I will agree with your comment. This is very important advice for anyone who wants to date an INFJ, but be your true self. It might work or fail, but it’s honest and genuine. Simply, you either match or you don’t.
Be an INTJ. If you can teach me things, intoxicate me with sincerity, honesty and intelligence, while also being kind, gentle and giving me an easy ear to confide in... I'm hooked.
I don't know about other INFJs, but here are the traits that have always fascinated me since I was a teenager: 1. Authenticity and honesty. If people lie in front of my face or pretend to be who they are not really are, I just know it instantly without having to analyse it. If people are honest, I don't mind if their ways are too blunt or abrasive - I value the authenticity over anything else. 2. I can't handle situations with people who talk too much. I have difficulty spending time with people who talk like a waterfall. I get overwhelmed and exhausted. 3. I like people who have special skills, like repairing vehicles, having gardening talent, doing well in craftsmanship issues...People who have a strong bond with the real world are an inspiration. Being around them offers me a feeling of having my feet back on the ground. 4. Decisive and confident people who stand their ground. 5. I really like men who have a strong masculine energy.
I have another point: I as an INFJ value intelligence over physical traits. That's not to say that I don't find handsome men attractive, it's just that I value it more if people can hold an intellectual and philosophical conversation. I would also much rather prefer a date to be some one on one time on the sofa while it's raining outside than to go out into the mall where there are lots and lots of people and I'll just get really tense and not enjoy myself at all. Conclusion: please don't be stupid, be able to have deep conversations with us and please just leave us alone in our corner from time to time
It sounds just like my sister. When she starts talking to someone new, she comes off as charming and warm. If she goes on talking some more the charm starts to turn into annoying peskiness plus all her bluntness comes out. xD
You can’t seduce an infj type just straight up. if you like one use body language, create space for meaningful conversation but only if you are genuinely interested - don’t bring up topics you think the infj would be interested in if you have absolutely no idea 💡 about said topic or if you don’t genuinely care. Every action should come from the heart, show your human side, be brave and courageous enough to take responsibilities for actions, show small acts of kindness. The infj knows when someone is interested and can immediately tell if it’s base desire interest or if it’s coming from the heart space - the infj will always be watching and feeling- and if they “feel” that you are worth the energy that relationship building actually takes- then they will come to you, and for me personally, it’ll be strong, heady and intense 💁🏽♀️ I could see a first date being at a quieter local coffee bar, or even a cruise with some light tunes... and then Se will engage, but gentle stuff like a cooking lesson, or paint night, the theatre... and then work up to the more thrill seeking stuff like rock climbing or a big concert- just know that after such a huge Se exertion, (especially if your infj has HSP) your infj will likely not communicate for at least 4 days.
Being complex vexes me. I think I'm simple, yet the confused looks and constant explaining tell me otherwise. Deep down, I want to let someone into my mind, and know that they're not going to wreck the place. Also, someone who is honest. These are major things to me.
INFJ here, my most favourite dates were walks or picnics in a nice park... any where where I can have a conversation, or find out more about the person. Anywhere with crowds is a bit of a turn off in the beginning. If it is someone I am already comfortable with, then I would love to go to the movies, or a pub/bar, live show... but not for too long, and then I like to get back to the quietness. Yes Im an introvert, but now that I have been with my partner for almost 20 years, my 'alone' time is often spent with him, and I love it. I feel more me, when he is with me.
I feel like an INFJs ideal date would involve taking a nap in the middle of it. They will talk about ideas forever, but when they are done they are done. They are probably fans of short dates at first, or things they’ve done before. I’ve gotten my sister and other INFJ friends out to concerts, so I know you can get them to go to loud crowded places. Next is sky diving!
Nap would sound amazing. Just laying down next to someone and listening to them as you calmly go to sleep and feel their warmth and deep thoughts - taking in the fact they are feeling comforted by me also comforts me and puts me in a relaxed state where I feel at peace. That's seduction. After the emotional connection is made and solidified - that's when physical seduction comes into play and TH-cam isn't the place to talk about romantic XXX shit lol. Gonna say no to the skydiving or crowded places. I'm all about the person I care about having fun and going on adventures.... with their friends. I'd rather be at home studying, researching, playing a game, hunting alone or just watching a movie while drinking a whiskey on the rocks.
Take me to the cinema and let's watch a thriller or drama movie. And then let's go for lunch and talk about our thoughts and interpretation of the movie. Then let's take a walk on the beach watching the sun set preferably in silence. This would be my idea of a perfect date - INFJ female
Amanda Gutmann it depends if the person your with doesn’t drain your energy. I can spend an entire day with my boyfriend doing stuff outside the house.
it is amazing to me how many people will watch a movie with you and not have any interest in talking about it afterwards. Or if I can get them to talk about the movie, they completely missed so many important things that I saw. Leaving me to wonder what movie were they watching anyway?
Interpretation, yes!! One of my favourite things as an infj. Such a great idea to see a movie - but ONLY if you then spend a adequate time interpreting it together afterwards. Otherwise, I find movies a waste of time at a date; you don’t talk or learn about each other at all.
One thing that I ABSOLUTELY agree with: please keep surprises to a minimum. And with that I mean stopping by out of nowhere, huge gifts without any special occasion, changing plans at the last minute etc. no matter how well you mean it. Might just be me, but even the tiniest surprises stress me a little, like gifting me flowers randomly. Makes me feel like since I don't have anything in return, I'm being a dickhead lol. If you do want to surprise an INFJ in your life, just tell them beforehand. "Hey, I know we wanted to get Sushi, but I heard of that nice Burger place, wanna try that instead?" "Yo, I'm in town and have time, could I come by for a visit?" "My friend wants to come along to that café, would that be ok?" It doesn't ruin the surprise for us, imo. We'll appreciate that so much, because we get to do some beforehand planning that we love so much and have a say in the plans too. And in general: being polite to strangers, considerate and open for new experiences/viewpoints/ideas are hella attractive character traits. If you got that, we'll probably love spending time with you. If not, that's gonna be a barrier many of us don't really know how to deal with.
Huge thing to help with INFJs is letting them know exactly what you want/expect from them. The limbo of not knowing exactly how much someone "likes" you is a silent killer. Just be up front and idk about anyone else but because of my inferior Se, receiving comforting physical contact like hand holding or just being comfortable touching me casually (on the arm, face, dragging me places) will make me more attracted and trusting of the persons feelings toward me.
INFJ married to ENTP at this point in our relationship he can tell when my social battery has run out and he will literally bring me snacks and check on me while I introvert alone in the room with a book or my laptop. Things that I find attractive: engaging in real conversation, good sense of humor, kindness but some force when necessary, when they see a need and fill it. Lastly please NO surprises. I need to know where we are going, why, and for how long...I need to know how many books to pack.
Give them food, a blanket, and sit quietly beside them, so the INFJ starts to believe that this food/blanket supplier also has an inner world that’s worth investigating. Job done 😉
As an INFJ, you can’t seduce me unless I heartily let you... and there has to be a level of trust,and deep connection. Cos I will surely feel you are up to something,such as seduction and that would,if I don’t feel comfortable with you or with it,it would chase me away... idk
Initially give us a Se experience...look and smell good, be confident in who you are and give us a cheeky smile, (it's not necessary for a person to have Se to do this, Se is about what we "the Infj" takes in through our senses from the experience), be kind and thoughtful in mannerisms, we don't do fake and arrogant, then take us on low key Ne dates, that helps us to explore the Sensory (like a quirky cafe youve always wanted to try) and lastly but mostly fill up the conversation with Ne/Ni/Ti sprinkled with a bit of Fe. We love discussing the big ideas of the world, deeper meanings behind everyday life, even your passion for the field you work in is fascinating to us and thats where you will keep us coming back for more.
As an infj, I completely agree with you. I would love a sensory experience-something that would make me stay here than in my mind. Amusement parks, walks on the beach are some of them. I enjoyed this video very much!
This is like "how to take care of your INFJ" and I love it very much. Setting the standards too high though... will anyone take care of me this well?? Ever?? I wish. ...Me, just now realizing that was the INFJ thing, "I can read your needs and subtly take care of them but you can't do the same for me; woe is me..." I'm such a stereotype.
I love that you admit you have no idea! Honesty is so refreshing. My husband won me over by being relentless. He just kept showing up at my house. Then he got my mom to like him, and she invited him in. We got used to him being around. There was no first date, etc. He just provided the chance for himself to "grow on us". Yes he was charming, but charm was not all there was to it. He had a long term plan in his mind, and it worked. He "architected" his relationship. By now you know what his type is. Baby steps, spot on. And one of our favorite memories/sensory experience was a major amusement park. So much so, that is where we spent our honeymoon 6 years later. But, domination, once we take over the world, what are we going to do with it??
That's exactly what my second husband (ESFJ) did. He just came around, made himself useful, made friends with my parents, etc. My first husband ESTP was like my alter ego. He was capable and strong in all the areas I wasn't, and I was capable and strong in all the areas he wasn't. He was a cook and appealed to me by bringing my food out to my table in person. That touched me. He also knew how to fix things, which I admire, and gave me plenty of space (because he was a workaholic, lol)
Hi @LynnWetz I have met an INTJ, who uses the same "growing on you" tactic your husband used, I'm just wondering did you ever have any questions? Did you ever ask him for any formal statements of his commitment
@@flickflicky8904 I waited six long years to marry him. I know a lot of people would have given up on him. But my personality type makes me go with my gut feeling and I was right. He did give me a diamond ring three years into the relationship. But his long-range planning was what he was all about. He said he would not marry me until he had a full-time job and a house to put me in. And that took six years from when we first started dating. Like I said, it was worth it.
Me too. Not many people see that side of me because people seem uncomfortable with not being able to read me or how to take my humor so I don’t even go there.
I'm an INTJ and I agree on this point as well. I had an INFJ best friend and we loved playing childishly and even role playing out of no where mixed with sarcasm and witty comments. At that time I thought everyone played like this but got taken a back when people actually though it was childish (some of my inner circle people) which made me immensely value my relationship with INFJs more because we understand and appreciate each other humor and presence.
It's interesting to see how INTJ and INFJ differ in how we use our similar functions. Activity and engaging Se actually helps me think. Taking in my surroundings and experiencing new perspectives is what I really live for. Se doesn't get me out of my head so to speak, it expands my inner universe. Se inspires me. If someone can evoke that in me, I fall in love.
This might stimulate my Ni and Se at the same time: picnic in the middle of the calm sea and rowing a boat together. Perhaps something that could turn a real boat into proverbial one later? There's a beautiful waterscape to remind me of the grander scheme and get thoughts flowing, food, a bit of exercise and no crowds. Stimulating all around. I can't speak for all of us but this came on the top of my head.
I loved this one. I can say “quantity time” is the best way to “seduce” us. If you can get face time with us, make it last as long as possible. Once we have relaxed, it will be unsettling for us to have to readjust to your absence. If we have determined that you are uncomfortable with “quantity time”, we’ll start to look at you as company, which we tend to avoid at all costs when we’re struggling (which is most of the time because we live in a world made for ISFJ’s). If you’re with us and we get a bit of inspiration to go take a walk on a particular sunny side of a building, do it with us! Or if we want to drive around for a while to see if we catch a vibe for a restaurant we haven’t eaten at before, do it with us! Lastly, rub our feet and we’ll be putty in your hands. :)
This is actually true. Although it seems counterintuitive, since I definitely want the time to also be high quality. But yes, I want like half to whole days of people's time! xD
I'm a little bit unsettled how spot on this is. I love being surprised by the person I'm dating but I would also really enjoy that if they told me they were going to surprise me first. No, that doesn't make sense but that's how it goes.
Joe Lewis , it makes sense ! It was my birthday, I guy told me he had a surprise planned and that I needed to be dressed and would be hiking in a public place and we were going to dinner afterward. He would not tell me anything else! He took me to Disneyland bought me a passport and we celebrated the whole day . One of the best days of my life !
It's great to see other people agreeing that walks are lovely! I remember saying sometime in high school that my ideal first date would be a walk or a picnic at a park, and everyone looked at me like I was insane(ly boring). Spot on!
as an INFJ girl going to a theme park or a fair sounds like a nightmare - the first thing I imagine is sensory overload; but maybe good if the date can keep you safe and protected from being overwhelmed (quite a challenge), but that would win all possible points! Going for a walk is always the best option 😊
I love getting to know INFJs. It's striking to me they're so often described as alien and difficult to understand. As an ENFP, I seem to draw INFJs to me (only realize this in hindsight... it's difficult for me to separate people into boxes... because I just wind up cutting holes in the boxes and making little gerbil run connections between all of us, but I enjoy trying to anyway and have managed to realize I have a majority of NF types in my life), and though they're extremely complex and deep people (so it's true they take a long time to get to know) they generally immediately open up to me.
Me (INFJ) and my partner (ENTJ) had our first date at a fair. Within a year, he knew that I hated surprises; I didn't realize that about myself. After nearly 15 years, however, my ENTJ can't seem to see when I'm socially fatigued which I find very interesting because on the inside, I'll be screaming and I feel that it would be easy to see on the outside.
The way I laughed xD especially at the beginning of the video 😂 I don't know why, but I make friends instinctively- if I vibe with someone from the beginning, it most likely will stay that way. It's like, I feel my type of people. But, the difficulty is: the people I like are the people who like to stay at home... So... I think there are still great people somewhere out there. Greetings to my fellow introverts 👋
INFJ here. One of the most seductive things anyone has ever done for me was to order for me at their favorite whole-in-the-wall burger joint. Besides the fact that I loved the confidence and willingness to take a risk, it was GREAT to not have to deal with the unease of making a choice about what to order (performing an Se task) in an unfamiliar setting (dislike of the unknown - I don't eat out much). Sometimes I really struggle with the Se stuff of life - I'm the kind of person who doesn't listen to the radio in my car because I would constantly be changing the channel...and probably get myself into an accident. However, when I'm not in control of such things, I can often quite enjoy whatever I am being subjected to - surprising as that may seem. Good one, Love Who.
My partner is one (INFP here) and I’m dying reading the comments about how *they’re* the seduction experts. That’s how it was all right. He gushed about how much he liked me and what he liked, and my pretty immediate receptive/flattered reaction only caused him to double down. As endearingly gently as possible of course.
Aww yes! I had basically the same experience when I met my INFJ partner :3 INFP x INFJ is a severely underrated combination imo. All the romance and gushing, gentle but passionate and full of creative little love declarations. ❤️
As an INFJ i can share you the secrets to my heart: we have 2 modes: quiet observant and action taker(speaker) if observing: just be yourself and drop all masks, i can spot bullshit from across the room and if you're honest i'll like (and even admire) you for having the balls. If i'm the acting person, just chill, listen and praise me. You don't need to impress me, just have a solid interaction and genuine interest... remember, we INFJ are the ones trying to seduce you! (otherwise we wouldn't be there) bonus: i often don't caress my own ego so if you do it for me, i'll be all yours without noticing.
Yes and No. Do I enjoy being out and about? Not really. I prefer the comforts of my shell. Do I enjoy being out and about with someone I find intriguing? Possibly. But here are the unspoken ground rules. You need to tell me who we're seeing if we're meeting up with someone for lunch/dinner. As you said, no big surprises; it raises a question of how deceitful you can be. **I'm just being honest** Finally, if you're taking me somewhere to experience something I've never experienced before, you need to explain the Where, What, When, How, and even the Why. Yes, sometimes you actually do need to explain that you'd like to go out with me. LOL. Once I have all that in the bag, and there are minimal deviations, I'll probably enjoy myself because my Ni and Se are going to be temporarily at peace with each other if you did your work right. haha. As for conversation, it really is true. I like to talk about the abstract. I'm not much of a concrete guy except when examining the past, and even then, if it's my past, I'd rather you piece it together yourself. I don't like talking much about me at first. I'm always terrified I'm either going to come off as snobby or boring. Another important thing is to realize that once I've said my piece for the night, that's all you're going to get because, as you said, my introversion threshold has been reached. I don't do well with ENTPs. My last boyfriend was an ENTP, and he would drill waaaaay past my mind's confort zone almost without really understanding or caring that it made me uncomfortable. And you'll know when an INFJ is uncomfortable. We retaliate with silence, brain freezes, passive aggression, or downright verbal aggression, and sometimes we'll just get up and walk out, and you'll never see us again. Moral of the story is that dating an INFJ will teach you very quickly that you're not going to be able to re-wire someone to fit your conception of a Stepford Wife or Husband just because you happen to like what you see. We're very good at bestowing that particular life lesson. But, if you're cerebrally well developed and you've thought alot of this out, then please give it a go. We're honestly not going to bite, and if you do decide that you want to work in a surprise, just make it personalized, simple, and small. Something small and thoughtful goes A LONG way with us. It will go far further with us than something huge and extravagant.
Oh I don't know about anything thrilling like amusement park rides or sky diving, but I do like taking walks, especially in parks or in nice quiet neighborhoods, even mundane things like running errands with the person. I like going to conventions too, I think that's the most crowded place i go to and enjoy lol. I like baking and going on drives with people who's company I enjoy, I have to be comfortable with the person though, and I want them to be comfortable too. I read a comment saying we'd like a date where we can nap in the middle and I STRONGLY AGREE HAHAHAH, I tell many people I wish I could hang out but I can't just take a nap in the middle and then wake up energized again so we can continue 😭😂😂. Also big agree on the "INFJs have to know what's going to happen so tell them!!" I am too overwhelmed and anxious for surprised id like to be given some clue of it. Honestly I like people i can joke with then the conversation leads deeper and we can go back to joking like nothing.
When you said “they often feel like aliens and act like them” I snorted at how funny and honest it was, and how strange I must be to others. I looked up to see neon aliens dancing disco on my tv✌️ 👽👽👽
This is why I love roller coasters 😩 I get drained so fast with so much outside stimulation but I’m 1. Mentally prepared ahead of time 2. Something about not having control on roller coasters helps let all my anxiety out in some weird way.
I like doing bigger Se things only with people I am already very comfortable with. If it gets to that point I will really appreciate and enjoy it. A nature walk and interesting convo is a good place to start.
I like dates that are interesting or unique. I actually really enjoy fun or exciting things in doses up to 2 or 3 hours. After that I need to be alone. I also need to be prepared and I dislike surprises. It has to be something the other person really likes or enjoys, because their enjoyment boosts my own and gives a powerful positive feedback loop. Although I like going to cafes by myself or with friends, it can be boring with someone new if they don't feel like talking or don't like the place. Movies can be just as bad if we choose one that I like but they don't. Quality is extremely important. If someone takes me to a cafe with poor quality drinks or seats with rips in them (yes, this has happened!) then I won't be interested in a second date. In essence, pick an activity or place of good quality that you truly enjoy. Give me some details so I can prepare myself and the date will be a success.
Being highly selective of our personal relationships, you will know if you will be able to seduce us if we are pouring out our problems to you. Just by listening to us wholeheartedly and giving us comfort you will surely win over our hearts. Having our purpose to be helping out people a majority of the time, we tend to put our insights/problems/feelings on the back burner. Once we are able to let go, we get a sense of relief and security in your presence, which can make an individual seem more desirable. It is also worth mentioning that being a perfectionist and having a solid vision of the future, having someone who can be reassuring and root us on can make them real desirable as well. We can be quite stubborn when looking at the details of a project, having someone who is reassuring can alleviate our stress and let us know everything will be alright. We also tend to be ambitious with our goals to the point where we may leave them unfinished, so having someone who can root us on can give us the motivation to complete them. This is really desirable since we tend to put all our belief into others and crave for others to do the same for us.
Recently I like my ISTP friend a lot. He‘s so cool. And I love that he takes me to a lot of unexpected places. But he‘s so cold and it’s like he never going to open up. At first I thought he didn’t like me but later on I found out that’s just the way he is.
You illustrated some things very well here; people try to describe Ni and in what way an INFJ is a control freak, but I haven't heard it described as you did here. I've been trying to work out if Ni is my dominant function or not. How you describe how the INFJ wants to know what a situation *will be like* is very interesting. I have felt that exact thing. I didn't get to indulge it much, though, since my family did not let me know how things were, so I was, I guessed, trained in 'my kind of surprises' my whole life. I never could figure out my whole life if I mind surprises or not because I just... had to get used to it. From day 1. I didn't know a moment without things jumping at me. So I just had to build up my core real hard and be real ready. ^.^
If someone can access my Se without causing me anxiety, that is a winner for me. I love the big external personalities that can pull me in. I think good seducing dates would be a cooking class, or a golf lesson at a driving range with a little extra attention from the 'teacher' haha. For me, Se is fantastic when it also involves learning, because it lets me stay in my head a bit.
I have a hypothesis about the alien thing, that indeed typically seems to bother some infj. I think it's caused by having both Ni and Fe and being dismissed by others. Ni, as you said, being this enigmatic, strange and out-of-this-world function, makes them act and appear in a way that is nearly incomprehensible to most other people. But on the other hand, they do have Fe as an auxiliary function, Fe which is a deeply social function. I noticed high Fe-users tend to want to belong, blend in, be part of the group. Now, my hypothesis is that their enigmatic nature can cause people to not only misunderstand, but even dismiss or reject them. When this happens, especially early in life or when done by people they care about, it causes tremendous hurt. After all, weird as they may be: they want to belong. It seems (to them) that their very nature is sabotaging them. Now the strange thing is, I've been called an alien too, even by my oldest friend. Doesn't seem to bother me, I suspect since I don't have a strong Fe. So, what do you guys think? :) Oh, and about seducing them: just listen to them, give them space, be open, do your very best to understand them in a non-judgemental way, want them to be them, verbally recognize how they make you feel and what value they bring in your life… at least, that's how I got my infj gf. :p
Omg! You got it all correct. Especially the thing you said about being rejected in early life... Damn I felt that. Speaking from experience, that has always led me to though socialize with people but at big distance. Really, Mostly it's not even about being misunderstood but is about being rejected, & that too in an indirect and ignored way. I guess, you've understood your INFJ girl really well, I'm sure she must be very happy. No wonder you could explain it so well. The highlight of your comment: "they want to belong. It seems (to them) that their very nature is sabotaging them." Amazing! I wonder what's your type must be? Anyways, loads of love to you and your gf! 😍💜 ~INFJ
@@shikhasuman871 Aw, so sad to read you had to go through all of this! :( Not sure if it's an infj-thing, but your comment about socializing reminded me of something my gf recently told me. She said she easily connects with people on a superficial level, but has great difficulty deepening and maintaining the social connection. She keeps her distance. Making true friends is hard. And haha, I'll relay your message to her :p That she should be very happy! :D Oh, and I'm an INFP. ;) Take care!
@@mieralunarlunishion Hey, thanks, you're so kind! 😍🥺 Maybe it could be an INFJ thing but anyone could be like that, i.e. connecting to people on a surface level. And yeah, give her my love.😊 And wow, I love INFPs... My sister is also an INFP, very kind, although she always has been very understanding of me and the only person close to me but it's just now that she has really started to understand me even better. I guess, things are going great after all. But really, I believe INFPs and INFJs are really soulmates, be it friendship or romantic relationship! We four of us make up a very good example!😁❤️ You too, take care!
Once I reached a certain age, theme parks were not any fun. The crowd and noise are too much to handle. Give me a museum, a picnic, a great bottle of wine, an interesting outdoor cafe where you can take time to talk about the deeper things in life, even a ride in the country....it's all good. I love archaeology history, art, auctions/boot sales, theories about everything and anything, unusual music, space science, old books, religions, etc. Planned out and simple are my favorite things. And did I mention wine country is a great place to start? hahaha Go slowly, look me in the eye and be honest. You being simple, honest, having integrity, are all keys to the INFJ heart. Thanks for your thoughts.
wow, I'm actually impressed 😆 very insightful. I love theme parks and fairs because it's pure fun ☺️ and you're right about knowing in advance. it prepares me to fully absorb the experience without stressing.
Mind - meaningful conversation. Impress me naturally - it doesn't have to be something big, but enough for me to think 'ah, there you are, I like.; Make me laugh (no pompous displays) Real confidence, this way I know you can handle situations that I find difficult, and then the unexpected is manageable as I feel safe and trust that person. Don't let me down. Touch of gentleness - it's the little things others miss we notice Take me somewhere that will caress the senses, not the cinema or clubs as can't talk, too busy, but somewhere magical, special. Something a little bit different and just us two. A walk and a meal are good, after visiting castle ruins. ;o) Really 'see' me and be real but don't get heavy. Small steps. We notice EVERYTHING ;o) You have to come ready to be able to break the INFJ outer wall code. It could be going well, then BAM, you did/said something that rearranges that wall and you're going to have to start decoding all over again.
Way to seduce me is to have deep conversations about life and it's meaning. Once we've reached the point of conversation where I can understand you and you're still confused by me, then I'll suggest a second date!
For me personally, this is pretty spot-on. Something in the realm of a going to a fair, roller blading rink, etc, makes me really happy on a first date, and helps me relax and turn down the analytical ni-fe-ti analysis of the other person. That fun, playful, rapport is important and attractive to me. (You don't want to go too far, of course; clubbing, for example, would be overwhelming and would *not* allow for much bonding.) Then, on the second date, something quieter, allowing for more in-depth conversation, is ideal...chemistry having been established with the Se (Ne works too!) fun, you can then turn attention to compatibility. You might think that guys who lead with the more intellectual approach would have a leg up, but for me, while that is important, getting into a debate on the first date doesn't make me feel *romantic.* Ha!
So true. My ideal date is a drink and damn good food and maybe more drink and then something FUN and unusual. There’s nothing sexier than someone who loves to travel, makes music and is just driven... plays to my Se and Ni at the same time. Love it 👌🏽
First husband (ESTP) seduced me by remembering what I liked on my sub, every time I came in to the pizza shop. Second husband (ESFJ) "seduced" me by making friends with my parents, my kids and my friends and chasing away my ex-husband when he was being creepy.
How to seduce me? Be highly intelligent - a good person - genuine - loyal - loving - honest. Look for our comfort. Give me someone I want to care about and know. I know I am a demisexual... I need that emotional connection before I want to be sensual. I can't be seduced until after that has been fulfilled.
Wow, you're good. Theme parks were always my romantic vision of a date growing up - I love them. To kick it with a pretty girl at the theme park and just have fun is the ultimate for me. We can become incredibly childlike when we are having fun. Simple walks are cool too. We are simple creatures and will definitely get to know you that way.
This is interesting to me because while I don't like my long term plans being questioned or changed I'm game for most sensory experiences. Going skydiving would be a great surprise for example. But it is true that I wouldn't want to be surprised by a huge group of people I don't know.
We are sapiosexual ambiverts. The quickest way to our hearts is through our mind. Stimulate our mind and offer a challenge. Something for us to solve, think through, and plan for. Oh but wait, there is our mortal weakness, the golden retriever ENFP that unlocks our inner child and supports us while teasing is out of our batcave. Gosh, I’m so lucky I found my ENFP. How I needed you so…❤😂
I had a very manipulative ENFP friend. So, be careful. They look really good, can be sincerely for you, can be actually insincere and just being friendly to satisfy their attention seeking. After a while, they don't understand introversion so they get annoying I have to ignore this sometime and then they misunderstand it as rejection and get all emo. I have to keep a distance in the end.
I mean honestly walks outside one on one with a person I care about is like my favorite thing. Especially if it's raining, oh man goodness that like the best thing ever.
Love how "seducing an INFJ" progressed and turned into "dealing with an INFJ" lol too real.
If I find someone that can 'deal' with me (and keep me on my toes), I'm automatically seduced by them. haha.
@@loref4200 same
:')
@@loref4200 no joke lol
Also omfg only now I realize how many likes this got o_o
Any friend that doesn't invite me anywhere is a friend worth keeping..
I actually like to be invited to places to hang out with individual friends. Not a group. Just me and another person. It makes me feel wanted.
I actually appreciate the thought, but I would like the option of not going. Also if it is to a place I know and like with a few friends I know and like, then I would like to be invited. But like, once a week XD
Facts
OMG YAAAASS! 😆
Well, I'm INFJ, and yes, I agree. But sometimes they really forget me, and most most most of the times, and, sometimes, it makes me think "I'm nothing for them?... should I change my personality?..." but when I discovered I was INFJ, that was Glory for me. I mean, I need real friends, I really know with their acts that they just want me when they need me or need something. because I'm the only one who can helps and understand them.
"They do come in peace. And they don't bite... usually."
JustHikaru It means your a freak in the bedroom.
I think it meant by... like... Meeting a person that is an INFJ and in the same time he/she is having a Breakdown...I think they would propably be in the Void Looking at nothingness and like that there are not present making them... Looking scary and frightning by what will they do and say...(Personal experience as an INFJ)...
I don't bite, but I nibble haha.
@@tcchip 😂😂😂😂 at least it sounds cute.
Guilty.
I have no idea about other INFJs but these are the things that actually attract me:
-Chill, funny, deep, CONFIDENT people: we get overwhelmed by things that aren't planned, but will feel safe if we sense that you are confident in what you're doing. Unexpected things are scary, but can be exciting (and REALLY attractive) if we see that you can deal with unexpected situations. Basically, I am attracted to people who don't have the same "weaknesses" as me, because it makes me feel safe and complete.
-And as for dates, I like places that feel magical. Lights, nature, music...beautiful places thrill me because I need so little adrenaline to feel happy.
Omg yesss about the same weaknesses part. I can't deal with my own weaknesses and I sure don't have the remedy for them, so if you've got the same, it's the blind leading the blind. I love helping people figure out their problems when I have the energy, so if youve got a weakness where I am strong, I'm happy to help.
Love this comment! Totally spot on!
Chill, funny, deep, CONFIDENT people: David Bowie XD
EXACTLYYYYY
I'm an infj and I totally agree with you!!
"every single type will enjoy a certain level of spontaneity and excitement"
I guess 0 is still a certain level - ISTJ
😂 Love this
Lol if this ain't my istj brother
The Snugglery, my ISTJ is a lot of fun. He trusts me enough to be spontaneous and he dives into activities that require physical effort and good sense. The are so underrated!!
u depressed istj wtf who dont like exitement?.. -entp
Dad? is that you? 😂☺
"Infjs like it when you tell them ahead of time what to expect". *Yes, for the love of god.* I dated a guy once who invited me to go to a friend's house to play games (the way he spoke made it seem like he meant it would just be that friend and his wife, not that friend, his wife, and everyone they know). We showed up, and the house was full of people I had never met. The guy I was dating, left me to "socialize" with people, while he went upstairs and played video games with his friend for a few hours. I found their dog and offered to take it on a walk just to get out of there. I was gone the entire party, and when I returned he asked me if I enjoyed myself. I told him what I did, and he just laughed at me.
This is *not* how you seduce an INFJ.
can't imagine a person who would be seduced by that. Genuinely horrible
The question is, why did you date that guy in the first place? Obviously you would predict what the future would be like with him before dating him, right?
@@latiie Another person clinging to stereotypical generalizations. How could I have known that he would do that at the time? We had just started dating. It wasn't his pattern to leave me alone. INFJs aren't seers. We are able to pick up patterns of behavior and see the endpoint, but not before the experience without any previous sign of that pattern.
@@loref4200 it's been a month but Oh My Gosh that sucks😭
@@loref4200 Exactly! They really be treating us like some kind of sorcerer or some fortune teller-💀
I hate dating. How do you know you want to spend that time, without knowing the person first?? The system is backwards. I prefer getting to know people over the course of YEARS, under normal circumstances. There's nothing more appealing than getting a feel for someone over a long period of time, developing that authentic connection in a non-dating setting is the most seductive. And least probable. Also, it's important to MISS the person. So, you have to, well, essentially, spend a substantial amount of time NOT together. THAT is very seductive.
100% agree about the need to miss a person ~ Nathan
Oh yes! Which is exactly why I get scared of dating apps
This comment made me think I am an INFJ.
Met my wife this way. We wrote for months, no expectations, long distance before our first date. I would have died single if not for that "who is this person?" time.
100% agree! I’m an INFJ and I keep saying that I don’t understand dating because indeed the system is backwards, thank you for putting it into words so eloquently
As an INFJ I’ve stopped going on dates altogether because I simply cannot grow feelings for someone I just met when there’s already the expectation of romance. I don’t understand how people can go on dates and become intimate really quickly and only afterwards really establish an emotional bond. For me that has to come first, I first have to get to know someone and grow fond of someone and only THEN could I think about dating them or becoming physically involved with them.
I've never felt so heard before in my entire life you've just encompassed the feelings I've been battling and trying to understand to no avail and made me feel as though I am not insane, thank you - sincerely, fellow INFJ
Same for me and I identify myself as demiromantic/sexual for that reason
omggg thank you for this, this is exactly how i feel and why i hate going on dates. knowing where we’re supposed to go (romance) is just awful
This is exactly why I deleted any and every dating app I was ever on! I tried chatting with a few people, I even went on two or three dates, but eventually I always stepped back. After a while, I realised it simply didn’t work for me. The very knowledge that we were both there seeking a potential relationship made it sound… fake, forced.
Unfortunately, not being a party animal and having just a small group of introverted friends I’m pretty much hopeless. I’ve already made peace with my fate: my life as a cats’ “mom”🤣🥲
For me as an INFJ, I need to feel comfortable with the person, for that to happen I need to feel them out, otherwise it won't go anywhere. I love theme parks and movies, but I think that stuff will be more enjoyable once I get to know the person more. Simple walks, beautiful scenery are all I need. I also want to make the other person comfortable, not always have my way. I would like conversations to go deeper after a while, depth is always welcomed for an INFJ.
For some reason all of the infjs I talked to all came back to small talk... the only person initiating deeper topics was me (ENTP, hi :D) and they answered it, but at the same time avoided it. XD
@@Lyllie_ Walking contradictions I tell you, haha. I think we like deep topics, but when it's personal stuff it might be harder, more about ourselves. Do they know you well? Spent enough time around you? How do they see you in their life? I can be like that at first, but if it's always small talk it'd be maddening, I want to graduate from that. Unless they aren't really INFJ lol
On point again J Mz :)
@@Lyllie_ Probably not "real" INFJs :) And or not comfy enough ( yet ). Many variables, but if you spoke, or did hang out for let's say over an hour even, and you don't find, hear or intuit some Ni-depth or intensity, I doubt that human is an INFJ-ego.
But also like J Mz mentioned below, contradictions and all that stuff. Also, maybe those you do know, who might be INFJs, could be more Fe in company. It is rather hard to Ni-it-away with 9999,999 %%%%(%(% of people. Not that bad, but you get the point hehe.
@@Lyllie_ the INFJ must might have smelled out the ENTPs manipulations and insincerity and hence bolted.
“No one understands INFJs”
This is because no one has the same motivation for social interactions as us. We are gathering data, on people, for the purpose of improving people’s lives.
So. We can always be interested in you, genuinely. But you won’t be able to tell how deep the interest goes. For that, it’s best to ask, ideally through text, to give time to respond. We probably don’t know the answer right away because we aren’t not in touch with our own feelings when it comes to other people.
People fall for us constantly because we are so understanding and we rarely take it seriously. I’m often in “mothering” mode and that doesn’t switch to romance easily. Everyone loves their mom.
You have to demonstrate that I don’t need to mother you. If you are self-sufficient emotionally and still like my company...that’s the most attractive quality you could have.
Love this
Exactly this.
this makes the most sense.
Good Answer!
“no one has the same motivation for social interaction as us. We are gathering data, on people, for the purpose of improving people’s lives.”
That is a curious statement to me because as an INTJ I find that I do understand it. I do the same thing myself with the intent of improving people’s circumstances or environment. Not that I’m terribly good at it, but when I do interact with people that is the intent.
I don't like amusement parks because I hate most of the scary rides, and movies are not intimate enough. I love walks in the park though, and I cannot speak for all INFJs but hiking is one of my favorite things to do. If you want to seduce an INFJ be your genuine self and it will either work or fail, but at least you will get a clear answer.
I have never heard a single INFJ saying that they dislike, or wouldn't want to try hiking. Makes complete sense.
I like brainteasers in any way, shape or form. I'm also an INFJ enneagram 5w4.......so..
Makes me feel like a fake INTP XD.
gremlins 347
*This right here!*
Don’t you dare fake your personality around me or try to make “fake change”, cause I will instantly see through it and it will feel disingenuous and I will be instantly turned off.
When people say that INFJs look for a soulmate, I couldn’t agree more. It means to connect with one’s soul, one’s heart, one’s very core. And you can’t change that core no matter what happens. You might be able to change other things on the outside, but the INFJs won’t care about it as much as what is on the inside.
So as an INFJ, I will agree with your comment. This is very important advice for anyone who wants to date an INFJ, but be your true self. It might work or fail, but it’s honest and genuine.
Simply, you either match or you don’t.
@@JonasAnandaKristiansson I'd try hiking but I hate the busyness of theme parks. Too many people. Too much noise.
Be an INTJ.
If you can teach me things, intoxicate me with sincerity, honesty and intelligence, while also being kind, gentle and giving me an easy ear to confide in... I'm hooked.
Same.
Intj hearts are beautiful.
I don't know about other INFJs, but here are the traits that have always fascinated me since I was a teenager:
1. Authenticity and honesty. If people lie in front of my face or pretend to be who they are not really are, I just know it instantly without having to analyse it. If people are honest, I don't mind if their ways are too blunt or abrasive - I value the authenticity over anything else.
2. I can't handle situations with people who talk too much. I have difficulty spending time with people who talk like a waterfall. I get overwhelmed and exhausted.
3. I like people who have special skills, like repairing vehicles, having gardening talent, doing well in craftsmanship issues...People who have a strong bond with the real world are an inspiration. Being around them offers me a feeling of having my feet back on the ground.
4. Decisive and confident people who stand their ground.
5. I really like men who have a strong masculine energy.
Wow this really resonates with me, thanks for putting it all into words 🙂⭐
I have another point: I as an INFJ value intelligence over physical traits. That's not to say that I don't find handsome men attractive, it's just that I value it more if people can hold an intellectual and philosophical conversation. I would also much rather prefer a date to be some one on one time on the sofa while it's raining outside than to go out into the mall where there are lots and lots of people and I'll just get really tense and not enjoy myself at all.
Conclusion: please don't be stupid, be able to have deep conversations with us and please just leave us alone in our corner from time to time
Infj here I've always been attracted to highly intelligent men I'm not shallow. Yes, the guy has to be cute, but I'm not super shallow.
yeah it is easy to please INFJs...you just have to be kind & understanding
It sounds just like my sister. When she starts talking to someone new, she comes off as charming and warm. If she goes on talking some more the charm starts to turn into annoying peskiness plus all her bluntness comes out. xD
You can’t seduce an infj type just straight up. if you like one use body language, create space for meaningful conversation but only if you are genuinely interested - don’t bring up topics you think the infj would be interested in if you have absolutely no idea 💡 about said topic or if you don’t genuinely care. Every action should come from the heart, show your human side, be brave and courageous enough to take responsibilities for actions, show small acts of kindness. The infj knows when someone is interested and can immediately tell if it’s base desire interest or if it’s coming from the heart space - the infj will always be watching and feeling- and if they “feel” that you are worth the energy that relationship building actually takes- then they will come to you, and for me personally, it’ll be strong, heady and intense 💁🏽♀️ I could see a first date being at a quieter local coffee bar, or even a cruise with some light tunes... and then Se will engage, but gentle stuff like a cooking lesson, or paint night, the theatre... and then work up to the more thrill seeking stuff like rock climbing or a big concert- just know that after such a huge Se exertion, (especially if your infj has HSP) your infj will likely not communicate for at least 4 days.
Chantel Wensley ps I love you for this comment!
Being complex vexes me. I think I'm simple, yet the confused looks and constant explaining tell me otherwise. Deep down, I want to let someone into my mind, and know that they're not going to wreck the place. Also, someone who is honest. These are major things to me.
Don't we all.
INFJ here, my most favourite dates were walks or picnics in a nice park... any where where I can have a conversation, or find out more about the person. Anywhere with crowds is a bit of a turn off in the beginning. If it is someone I am already comfortable with, then I would love to go to the movies, or a pub/bar, live show... but not for too long, and then I like to get back to the quietness. Yes Im an introvert, but now that I have been with my partner for almost 20 years, my 'alone' time is often spent with him, and I love it. I feel more me, when he is with me.
I feel like an INFJs ideal date would involve taking a nap in the middle of it. They will talk about ideas forever, but when they are done they are done. They are probably fans of short dates at first, or things they’ve done before. I’ve gotten my sister and other INFJ friends out to concerts, so I know you can get them to go to loud crowded places. Next is sky diving!
YES!!!
Literally. I always nap on dates. Also, most of my (successful) dates are usually about six hours long. So it's a given.
Bahaha! Nap sounds perfect
Nap would sound amazing. Just laying down next to someone and listening to them as you calmly go to sleep and feel their warmth and deep thoughts - taking in the fact they are feeling comforted by me also comforts me and puts me in a relaxed state where I feel at peace. That's seduction. After the emotional connection is made and solidified - that's when physical seduction comes into play and TH-cam isn't the place to talk about romantic XXX shit lol. Gonna say no to the skydiving or crowded places. I'm all about the person I care about having fun and going on adventures.... with their friends. I'd rather be at home studying, researching, playing a game, hunting alone or just watching a movie while drinking a whiskey on the rocks.
@@wes9809 Yes. Together alone. Lol.
Take me to the cinema and let's watch a thriller or drama movie. And then let's go for lunch and talk about our thoughts and interpretation of the movie. Then let's take a walk on the beach watching the sun set preferably in silence. This would be my idea of a perfect date - INFJ female
Idk, that sounds like a long time being out the house. I'd be done after the post-movie analysis
Amanda Gutmann it depends if the person your with doesn’t drain your energy. I can spend an entire day with my boyfriend doing stuff outside the house.
😍
it is amazing to me how many people will watch a movie with you and not have any interest in talking about it afterwards. Or if I can get them to talk about the movie, they completely missed so many important things that I saw. Leaving me to wonder what movie were they watching anyway?
Interpretation, yes!! One of my favourite things as an infj. Such a great idea to see a movie - but ONLY if you then spend a adequate time interpreting it together afterwards. Otherwise, I find movies a waste of time at a date; you don’t talk or learn about each other at all.
One thing that I ABSOLUTELY agree with: please keep surprises to a minimum. And with that I mean stopping by out of nowhere, huge gifts without any special occasion, changing plans at the last minute etc. no matter how well you mean it. Might just be me, but even the tiniest surprises stress me a little, like gifting me flowers randomly. Makes me feel like since I don't have anything in return, I'm being a dickhead lol.
If you do want to surprise an INFJ in your life, just tell them beforehand. "Hey, I know we wanted to get Sushi, but I heard of that nice Burger place, wanna try that instead?" "Yo, I'm in town and have time, could I come by for a visit?" "My friend wants to come along to that café, would that be ok?"
It doesn't ruin the surprise for us, imo. We'll appreciate that so much, because we get to do some beforehand planning that we love so much and have a say in the plans too.
And in general: being polite to strangers, considerate and open for new experiences/viewpoints/ideas are hella attractive character traits. If you got that, we'll probably love spending time with you. If not, that's gonna be a barrier many of us don't really know how to deal with.
This is so true. Just the thought of someone doing those things, without a heads up, makes me so anxious
Huge thing to help with INFJs is letting them know exactly what you want/expect from them. The limbo of not knowing exactly how much someone "likes" you is a silent killer. Just be up front and idk about anyone else but because of my inferior Se, receiving comforting physical contact like hand holding or just being comfortable touching me casually (on the arm, face, dragging me places) will make me more attracted and trusting of the persons feelings toward me.
INFJ married to ENTP at this point in our relationship he can tell when my social battery has run out and he will literally bring me snacks and check on me while I introvert alone in the room with a book or my laptop. Things that I find attractive: engaging in real conversation, good sense of humor, kindness but some force when necessary, when they see a need and fill it. Lastly please NO surprises. I need to know where we are going, why, and for how long...I need to know how many books to pack.
Give them food, a blanket, and sit quietly beside them, so the INFJ starts to believe that this food/blanket supplier also has an inner world that’s worth investigating. Job done 😉
As an INFJ, you can’t seduce me unless I heartily let you... and there has to be a level of trust,and deep connection. Cos I will surely feel you are up to something,such as seduction and that would,if I don’t feel comfortable with you or with it,it would chase me away... idk
Initially give us a Se experience...look and smell good, be confident in who you are and give us a cheeky smile, (it's not necessary for a person to have Se to do this, Se is about what we "the Infj" takes in through our senses from the experience), be kind and thoughtful in mannerisms, we don't do fake and arrogant, then take us on low key Ne dates, that helps us to explore the Sensory (like a quirky cafe youve always wanted to try) and lastly but mostly fill up the conversation with Ne/Ni/Ti sprinkled with a bit of Fe. We love discussing the big ideas of the world, deeper meanings behind everyday life, even your passion for the field you work in is fascinating to us and thats where you will keep us coming back for more.
As an infj, I completely agree with you. I would love a sensory experience-something that would make me stay here than in my mind. Amusement parks, walks on the beach are some of them. I enjoyed this video very much!
I like the emphasis on "social burn out", because that is very true.
This is all true. We sure adore you INTPs.
My best friend is an INTP and I'm pretty sure if I was lesbian we'd have solved every relationship problem ever
This is true, intps are the best.
This is like "how to take care of your INFJ" and I love it very much. Setting the standards too high though... will anyone take care of me this well?? Ever?? I wish.
...Me, just now realizing that was the INFJ thing, "I can read your needs and subtly take care of them but you can't do the same for me; woe is me..." I'm such a stereotype.
4:25 alternative title: how to seduce aliens
@@NathanJGlass awesome! 😂
gremlins 347
Hahahahahaha 😂
I love that you admit you have no idea! Honesty is so refreshing. My husband won me over by being relentless. He just kept showing up at my house. Then he got my mom to like him, and she invited him in. We got used to him being around. There was no first date, etc. He just provided the chance for himself to "grow on us". Yes he was charming, but charm was not all there was to it. He had a long term plan in his mind, and it worked. He "architected" his relationship. By now you know what his type is. Baby steps, spot on. And one of our favorite memories/sensory experience was a major amusement park. So much so, that is where we spent our honeymoon 6 years later. But, domination, once we take over the world, what are we going to do with it??
That's exactly what my second husband (ESFJ) did. He just came around, made himself useful, made friends with my parents, etc. My first husband ESTP was like my alter ego. He was capable and strong in all the areas I wasn't, and I was capable and strong in all the areas he wasn't. He was a cook and appealed to me by bringing my food out to my table in person. That touched me. He also knew how to fix things, which I admire, and gave me plenty of space (because he was a workaholic, lol)
God bless your marriage, wha's his type?
@@sham9411 If you are referring to me, he is INTJ.
Hi @LynnWetz
I have met an INTJ, who uses the same "growing on you" tactic your husband used,
I'm just wondering did you ever have any questions? Did you ever ask him for any formal statements of his commitment
@@flickflicky8904 I waited six long years to marry him. I know a lot of people would have given up on him. But my personality type makes me go with my gut feeling and I was right. He did give me a diamond ring three years into the relationship. But his long-range planning was what he was all about. He said he would not marry me until he had a full-time job and a house to put me in. And that took six years from when we first started dating. Like I said, it was worth it.
Here's a good one - play a co-op game. You have to be in the moment and you're still kinda socializing. An arcade would be a cool idea
I’m an INTP and I kept seeing Nickel,Iron, Titanium and Selenium lol
Thank you for this pun this is the best thing ive read today 😂😂😂
-an INFJ
I love using Nickel and Titanium😂😂😂
For me to make someone a close friend I need to be able to act childish or silly around them, and not say that my jokes are weird.
Me too. Not many people see that side of me because people seem uncomfortable with not being able to read me or how to take my humor so I don’t even go there.
I'm an INTJ and I agree on this point as well. I had an INFJ best friend and we loved playing childishly and even role playing out of no where mixed with sarcasm and witty comments. At that time I thought everyone played like this but got taken a back when people actually though it was childish (some of my inner circle people) which made me immensely value my relationship with INFJs more because we understand and appreciate each other humor and presence.
@@BashaerB-h2c omg that's amazing!! That's why I love INTJs so much... They're amazing, literally!!! 😍💜 ~INFJ
It's interesting to see how INTJ and INFJ differ in how we use our similar functions. Activity and engaging Se actually helps me think. Taking in my surroundings and experiencing new perspectives is what I really live for. Se doesn't get me out of my head so to speak, it expands my inner universe. Se inspires me. If someone can evoke that in me, I fall in love.
This might stimulate my Ni and Se at the same time: picnic in the middle of the calm sea and rowing a boat together. Perhaps something that could turn a real boat into proverbial one later?
There's a beautiful waterscape to remind me of the grander scheme and get thoughts flowing, food, a bit of exercise and no crowds. Stimulating all around.
I can't speak for all of us but this came on the top of my head.
As an INFJ, he is absolutely right. Thanks a lot for this. Now I can take myself on proper dates and not upset myself. 😂
I loved this one. I can say “quantity time” is the best way to “seduce” us. If you can get face time with us, make it last as long as possible. Once we have relaxed, it will be unsettling for us to have to readjust to your absence. If we have determined that you are uncomfortable with “quantity time”, we’ll start to look at you as company, which we tend to avoid at all costs when we’re struggling (which is most of the time because we live in a world made for ISFJ’s). If you’re with us and we get a bit of inspiration to go take a walk on a particular sunny side of a building, do it with us! Or if we want to drive around for a while to see if we catch a vibe for a restaurant we haven’t eaten at before, do it with us! Lastly, rub our feet and we’ll be putty in your hands. :)
This is actually true. Although it seems counterintuitive, since I definitely want the time to also be high quality. But yes, I want like half to whole days of people's time! xD
I'm a little bit unsettled how spot on this is. I love being surprised by the person I'm dating but I would also really enjoy that if they told me they were going to surprise me first. No, that doesn't make sense but that's how it goes.
Glad you found it accurate (and unsettling!) ~ Nathan
Joe Lewis , it makes sense ! It was my birthday, I guy told me he had a surprise planned and that I needed to be dressed and would be hiking in a public place and we were going to dinner afterward. He would not tell me anything else! He took me to Disneyland bought me a passport and we celebrated the whole day . One of the best days of my life !
Love Who is dangerous. He nearly seduced me just by telling me how I could be seduced. XD
Actual props to the intp who literally seduced me, an infj, without even trying or knowing what's happening.
It's great to see other people agreeing that walks are lovely! I remember saying sometime in high school that my ideal first date would be a walk or a picnic at a park, and everyone looked at me like I was insane(ly boring). Spot on!
as an INFJ girl going to a theme park or a fair sounds like a nightmare - the first thing I imagine is sensory overload; but maybe good if the date can keep you safe and protected from being overwhelmed (quite a challenge), but that would win all possible points!
Going for a walk is always the best option 😊
I relate so much to that!
walking in nature while talking about life is the best
I love getting to know INFJs. It's striking to me they're so often described as alien and difficult to understand. As an ENFP, I seem to draw INFJs to me (only realize this in hindsight... it's difficult for me to separate people into boxes... because I just wind up cutting holes in the boxes and making little gerbil run connections between all of us, but I enjoy trying to anyway and have managed to realize I have a majority of NF types in my life), and though they're extremely complex and deep people (so it's true they take a long time to get to know) they generally immediately open up to me.
Me (INFJ) and my partner (ENTJ) had our first date at a fair. Within a year, he knew that I hated surprises; I didn't realize that about myself. After nearly 15 years, however, my ENTJ can't seem to see when I'm socially fatigued which I find very interesting because on the inside, I'll be screaming and I feel that it would be easy to see on the outside.
I’m not sure if it’s just me but what I hate about dating mainly is just the feeling that I have to live up to certain expectations and I hate it
The way I laughed xD especially at the beginning of the video 😂
I don't know why, but I make friends instinctively- if I vibe with someone from the beginning, it most likely will stay that way. It's like, I feel my type of people. But, the difficulty is: the people I like are the people who like to stay at home... So... I think there are still great people somewhere out there.
Greetings to my fellow introverts 👋
INFJ here. One of the most seductive things anyone has ever done for me was to order for me at their favorite whole-in-the-wall burger joint. Besides the fact that I loved the confidence and willingness to take a risk, it was GREAT to not have to deal with the unease of making a choice about what to order (performing an Se task) in an unfamiliar setting (dislike of the unknown - I don't eat out much).
Sometimes I really struggle with the Se stuff of life - I'm the kind of person who doesn't listen to the radio in my car because I would constantly be changing the channel...and probably get myself into an accident. However, when I'm not in control of such things, I can often quite enjoy whatever I am being subjected to - surprising as that may seem.
Good one, Love Who.
My partner is one (INFP here) and I’m dying reading the comments about how *they’re* the seduction experts. That’s how it was all right. He gushed about how much he liked me and what he liked, and my pretty immediate receptive/flattered reaction only caused him to double down. As endearingly gently as possible of course.
Aww yes! I had basically the same experience when I met my INFJ partner :3
INFP x INFJ is a severely underrated combination imo. All the romance and gushing, gentle but passionate and full of creative little love declarations. ❤️
As an INFJ i can share you the secrets to my heart:
we have 2 modes: quiet observant and action taker(speaker)
if observing: just be yourself and drop all masks, i can spot bullshit from across the room and if you're honest i'll like (and even admire) you for having the balls.
If i'm the acting person, just chill, listen and praise me. You don't need to impress me, just have a solid interaction and genuine interest... remember, we INFJ are the ones trying to seduce you! (otherwise we wouldn't be there)
bonus: i often don't caress my own ego so if you do it for me, i'll be all yours without noticing.
Yes and No. Do I enjoy being out and about? Not really. I prefer the comforts of my shell. Do I enjoy being out and about with someone I find intriguing? Possibly. But here are the unspoken ground rules. You need to tell me who we're seeing if we're meeting up with someone for lunch/dinner. As you said, no big surprises; it raises a question of how deceitful you can be. **I'm just being honest** Finally, if you're taking me somewhere to experience something I've never experienced before, you need to explain the Where, What, When, How, and even the Why. Yes, sometimes you actually do need to explain that you'd like to go out with me. LOL. Once I have all that in the bag, and there are minimal deviations, I'll probably enjoy myself because my Ni and Se are going to be temporarily at peace with each other if you did your work right. haha. As for conversation, it really is true. I like to talk about the abstract. I'm not much of a concrete guy except when examining the past, and even then, if it's my past, I'd rather you piece it together yourself. I don't like talking much about me at first. I'm always terrified I'm either going to come off as snobby or boring. Another important thing is to realize that once I've said my piece for the night, that's all you're going to get because, as you said, my introversion threshold has been reached. I don't do well with ENTPs. My last boyfriend was an ENTP, and he would drill waaaaay past my mind's confort zone almost without really understanding or caring that it made me uncomfortable. And you'll know when an INFJ is uncomfortable. We retaliate with silence, brain freezes, passive aggression, or downright verbal aggression, and sometimes we'll just get up and walk out, and you'll never see us again. Moral of the story is that dating an INFJ will teach you very quickly that you're not going to be able to re-wire someone to fit your conception of a Stepford Wife or Husband just because you happen to like what you see. We're very good at bestowing that particular life lesson. But, if you're cerebrally well developed and you've thought alot of this out, then please give it a go. We're honestly not going to bite, and if you do decide that you want to work in a surprise, just make it personalized, simple, and small. Something small and thoughtful goes A LONG way with us. It will go far further with us than something huge and extravagant.
Oh I don't know about anything thrilling like amusement park rides or sky diving, but I do like taking walks, especially in parks or in nice quiet neighborhoods, even mundane things like running errands with the person. I like going to conventions too, I think that's the most crowded place i go to and enjoy lol. I like baking and going on drives with people who's company I enjoy,
I have to be comfortable with the person though, and I want them to be comfortable too. I read a comment saying we'd like a date where we can nap in the middle and I STRONGLY AGREE HAHAHAH, I tell many people I wish I could hang out but I can't just take a nap in the middle and then wake up energized again so we can continue 😭😂😂. Also big agree on the "INFJs have to know what's going to happen so tell them!!" I am too overwhelmed and anxious for surprised id like to be given some clue of it. Honestly I like people i can joke with then the conversation leads deeper and we can go back to joking like nothing.
Maybe the date could include some kind of dual massage where you both get to nap, or sit in a mudbath or something.
“They don’t bite... (usually)” 😂 This whole video was too accurate, I love it. ❤️
This is so true esp the conversation draining part.
Movie, good food, walking at the park, hiking, coffee or tea with good music
When you said “they often feel like aliens and act like them” I snorted at how funny and honest it was, and how strange I must be to others.
I looked up to see neon aliens dancing disco on my tv✌️
👽👽👽
I so appreciate your sense of humor!! This vid really helped me, thank you ^^
This is why I love roller coasters 😩 I get drained so fast with so much outside stimulation but I’m 1. Mentally prepared ahead of time 2. Something about not having control on roller coasters helps let all my anxiety out in some weird way.
I like doing bigger Se things only with people I am already very comfortable with. If it gets to that point I will really appreciate and enjoy it. A nature walk and interesting convo is a good place to start.
As an INFJ I'd rather go to a loud rock show than an amusement park but your insights are spot on! Love these videos. Keep it up.
This... is surprisingly true. I like subtle touches, which is a sensory experience. It's kind of grounding for me. And feeding me good food works too.
I like dates that are interesting or unique. I actually really enjoy fun or exciting things in doses up to 2 or 3 hours. After that I need to be alone. I also need to be prepared and I dislike surprises. It has to be something the other person really likes or enjoys, because their enjoyment boosts my own and gives a powerful positive feedback loop. Although I like going to cafes by myself or with friends, it can be boring with someone new if they don't feel like talking or don't like the place. Movies can be just as bad if we choose one that I like but they don't. Quality is extremely important. If someone takes me to a cafe with poor quality drinks or seats with rips in them (yes, this has happened!) then I won't be interested in a second date.
In essence, pick an activity or place of good quality that you truly enjoy. Give me some details so I can prepare myself and the date will be a success.
Great comment ~ Nathan
"They often feel like an alien and act like them" 😂😂 I'm impressed on how you read myself, no one actually can do that but me with others, awesome!
Being highly selective of our personal relationships, you will know if you will be able to seduce us if we are pouring out our problems to you. Just by listening to us wholeheartedly and giving us comfort you will surely win over our hearts. Having our purpose to be helping out people a majority of the time, we tend to put our insights/problems/feelings on the back burner. Once we are able to let go, we get a sense of relief and security in your presence, which can make an individual seem more desirable.
It is also worth mentioning that being a perfectionist and having a solid vision of the future, having someone who can be reassuring and root us on can make them real desirable as well. We can be quite stubborn when looking at the details of a project, having someone who is reassuring can alleviate our stress and let us know everything will be alright. We also tend to be ambitious with our goals to the point where we may leave them unfinished, so having someone who can root us on can give us the motivation to complete them. This is really desirable since we tend to put all our belief into others and crave for others to do the same for us.
Recently I like my ISTP friend a lot. He‘s so cool. And I love that he takes me to a lot of unexpected places. But he‘s so cold and it’s like he never going to open up. At first I thought he didn’t like me but later on I found out that’s just the way he is.
Here to support your world domination ✍🏻
I feel like I should have this on my dating app profile lol.
Daaang! Forget seducing, you just helped me understand my mum!
Good! ~ Nathan
this is a really good video with deep insight into infj
You illustrated some things very well here; people try to describe Ni and in what way an INFJ is a control freak, but I haven't heard it described as you did here. I've been trying to work out if Ni is my dominant function or not. How you describe how the INFJ wants to know what a situation *will be like* is very interesting. I have felt that exact thing. I didn't get to indulge it much, though, since my family did not let me know how things were, so I was, I guessed, trained in 'my kind of surprises' my whole life. I never could figure out my whole life if I mind surprises or not because I just... had to get used to it. From day 1. I didn't know a moment without things jumping at me. So I just had to build up my core real hard and be real ready. ^.^
Cool comment.
Thank you.
If someone can access my Se without causing me anxiety, that is a winner for me. I love the big external personalities that can pull me in. I think good seducing dates would be a cooking class, or a golf lesson at a driving range with a little extra attention from the 'teacher' haha. For me, Se is fantastic when it also involves learning, because it lets me stay in my head a bit.
I think as INFJ, I enjoy less going to a cinema and watching a movie as getting to know the person one on one in a less crowded setting.
I have a hypothesis about the alien thing, that indeed typically seems to bother some infj. I think it's caused by having both Ni and Fe and being dismissed by others.
Ni, as you said, being this enigmatic, strange and out-of-this-world function, makes them act and appear in a way that is nearly incomprehensible to most other people. But on the other hand, they do have Fe as an auxiliary function, Fe which is a deeply social function. I noticed high Fe-users tend to want to belong, blend in, be part of the group.
Now, my hypothesis is that their enigmatic nature can cause people to not only misunderstand, but even dismiss or reject them. When this happens, especially early in life or when done by people they care about, it causes tremendous hurt. After all, weird as they may be: they want to belong. It seems (to them) that their very nature is sabotaging them.
Now the strange thing is, I've been called an alien too, even by my oldest friend. Doesn't seem to bother me, I suspect since I don't have a strong Fe.
So, what do you guys think? :)
Oh, and about seducing them: just listen to them, give them space, be open, do your very best to understand them in a non-judgemental way, want them to be them, verbally recognize how they make you feel and what value they bring in your life… at least, that's how I got my infj gf. :p
Omg! You got it all correct. Especially the thing you said about being rejected in early life... Damn I felt that. Speaking from experience, that has always led me to though socialize with people but at big distance. Really, Mostly it's not even about being misunderstood but is about being rejected, & that too in an indirect and ignored way.
I guess, you've understood your INFJ girl really well, I'm sure she must be very happy. No wonder you could explain it so well. The highlight of your comment: "they want to belong. It seems (to them) that their very nature is sabotaging them."
Amazing! I wonder what's your type must be? Anyways, loads of love to you and your gf! 😍💜 ~INFJ
@@shikhasuman871 Aw, so sad to read you had to go through all of this! :(
Not sure if it's an infj-thing, but your comment about socializing reminded me of something my gf recently told me. She said she easily connects with people on a superficial level, but has great difficulty deepening and maintaining the social connection. She keeps her distance. Making true friends is hard.
And haha, I'll relay your message to her :p That she should be very happy! :D
Oh, and I'm an INFP. ;)
Take care!
@@mieralunarlunishion Hey, thanks, you're so kind! 😍🥺
Maybe it could be an INFJ thing but anyone could be like that, i.e. connecting to people on a surface level. And yeah, give her my love.😊
And wow, I love INFPs... My sister is also an INFP, very kind, although she always has been very understanding of me and the only person close to me but it's just now that she has really started to understand me even better. I guess, things are going great after all.
But really, I believe INFPs and INFJs are really soulmates, be it friendship or romantic relationship! We four of us make up a very good example!😁❤️
You too, take care!
You are surprisingly spot on
How dare you
Right on the money. Thank you. A date that promises a lot of laughs is a good one in my book as well. I love people who can make me laugh.
Good video. So world domination, huh? "That many a true word hath been spoke in jest."
Once I reached a certain age, theme parks were not any fun. The crowd and noise are too much to handle. Give me a museum, a picnic, a great bottle of wine, an interesting outdoor cafe where you can take time to talk about the deeper things in life, even a ride in the country....it's all good. I love archaeology history, art, auctions/boot sales, theories about everything and anything, unusual music, space science, old books, religions, etc. Planned out and simple are my favorite things. And did I mention wine country is a great place to start? hahaha Go slowly, look me in the eye and be honest. You being simple, honest, having integrity, are all keys to the INFJ heart. Thanks for your thoughts.
wow, I'm actually impressed 😆 very insightful. I love theme parks and fairs because it's pure fun ☺️ and you're right about knowing in advance. it prepares me to fully absorb the experience without stressing.
You have no idea how much this has helpled me. Thanks. 🎉
Mind - meaningful conversation. Impress me naturally - it doesn't have to be something big, but enough for me to think 'ah, there you are, I like.;
Make me laugh (no pompous displays)
Real confidence, this way I know you can handle situations that I find difficult, and then the unexpected is manageable as I feel safe and trust that person. Don't let me down.
Touch of gentleness - it's the little things others miss we notice
Take me somewhere that will caress the senses, not the cinema or clubs as can't talk, too busy, but somewhere magical, special. Something a little bit different and just us two. A walk and a meal are good, after visiting castle ruins. ;o)
Really 'see' me and be real but don't get heavy. Small steps.
We notice EVERYTHING ;o)
You have to come ready to be able to break the INFJ outer wall code.
It could be going well, then BAM, you did/said something that rearranges that wall and you're going to have to start decoding all over again.
Way to seduce me is to have deep conversations about life and it's meaning. Once we've reached the point of conversation where I can understand you and you're still confused by me, then I'll suggest a second date!
This is so cute💖
For me personally, this is pretty spot-on. Something in the realm of a going to a fair, roller blading rink, etc, makes me really happy on a first date, and helps me relax and turn down the analytical ni-fe-ti analysis of the other person. That fun, playful, rapport is important and attractive to me. (You don't want to go too far, of course; clubbing, for example, would be overwhelming and would *not* allow for much bonding.) Then, on the second date, something quieter, allowing for more in-depth conversation, is ideal...chemistry having been established with the Se (Ne works too!) fun, you can then turn attention to compatibility. You might think that guys who lead with the more intellectual approach would have a leg up, but for me, while that is important, getting into a debate on the first date doesn't make me feel *romantic.* Ha!
INFJ here. I find myself effortlessly attracted to a healthy E/INTP and INTJs
So true. My ideal date is a drink and damn good food and maybe more drink and then something FUN and unusual. There’s nothing sexier than someone who loves to travel, makes music and is just driven... plays to my Se and Ni at the same time. Love it 👌🏽
Your "I don't know" cracked me up!
First husband (ESTP) seduced me by remembering what I liked on my sub, every time I came in to the pizza shop. Second husband (ESFJ) "seduced" me by making friends with my parents, my kids and my friends and chasing away my ex-husband when he was being creepy.
Going to the theme park and the movies are two of my favorite things. It really relaxes me.
reminded of the time i got a huge surprise bday party, really big, i appreciated the thought and effort.. but lets just say those werent tears of joy
1:51 "you can't help but be in the moment when you're on a ride" haha you underestimate me
This might be why I enjoyed my ESFP housemate. She made me extremely happy.
How to seduce me? Be highly intelligent - a good person - genuine - loyal - loving - honest. Look for our comfort. Give me someone I want to care about and know. I know I am a demisexual... I need that emotional connection before I want to be sensual. I can't be seduced until after that has been fulfilled.
Wow, you're good. Theme parks were always my romantic vision of a date growing up - I love them. To kick it with a pretty girl at the theme park and just have fun is the ultimate for me. We can become incredibly childlike when we are having fun. Simple walks are cool too. We are simple creatures and will definitely get to know you that way.
This is interesting to me because while I don't like my long term plans being questioned or changed I'm game for most sensory experiences. Going skydiving would be a great surprise for example. But it is true that I wouldn't want to be surprised by a huge group of people I don't know.
You're correct on theme parks and movies. 2 things I enjoy.
Air hockey is a great Se experience, roller coasters, not so much.
-An INFJ
Spot on! Love your videos and the way you speak!
Thank you! ~ Nathan
We are sapiosexual ambiverts. The quickest way to our hearts is through our mind. Stimulate our mind and offer a challenge. Something for us to solve, think through, and plan for. Oh but wait, there is our mortal weakness, the golden retriever ENFP that unlocks our inner child and supports us while teasing is out of our batcave. Gosh, I’m so lucky I found my ENFP. How I needed you so…❤😂
How to seduce an INFJ...be an ENFP
surprisingly it works if you are an INTJ as well.
Nah i like more XNTX types
I like feelers, especially Fe users. So it would be ENFP, INFJ, ENFJ, XNTP
I had a very manipulative ENFP friend. So, be careful. They look really good, can be sincerely for you, can be actually insincere and just being friendly to satisfy their attention seeking. After a while, they don't understand introversion so they get annoying I have to ignore this sometime and then they misunderstand it as rejection and get all emo. I have to keep a distance in the end.
I mean honestly walks outside one on one with a person I care about is like my favorite thing. Especially if it's raining, oh man goodness that like the best thing ever.
Yes, do not surprise us, anything sudden can peak our anxiety, subtlety is key.