Many of these points will apply to lots of similar types (such as ENFJs and INTJs). Also, I've never read 12 Rules for Life, I just decided in true TH-cam fashion to include a well known phrase in the title and use that as a premise for a video series ~ Nathan
Rule (more like advice) to my younger INFJ self: - It's them, not you. - You cannot predict anything with 100% accuracy, and that's aye okay. - Don't blame yourself for not being able to foresee something. - Less speculating, more acting. - To have tried then judge is better than to pre-emptive judge and not try. - More frequent small disagreements that solve problems is better 1 explosive door slam. - Start reading more non-fiction books asap. You will find so many minds like yours. - That's expected that you don't feel connected with most people. Most of the population is either E or S. - Not every opinion is valid. You don't have to always put weight on them. - You are smart & capable af, even at times you get imposter syndrome. - Express your emotions in a logical way, even if it tickles some the wrong way, is way more liberating. - Your personality is not fixed. You are allowed to grow and change. - You change fast. Accept that. - Allow yourself to pursue conventional success. That doesn't mean you are not spiritual or materialistic.
As a infj male, I can definitely relate to this entire list. Thanks for the confirmation that I am not just nuts. I've been incorporating various aspects of this list w/o consciously realizing it. They all make a huge difference in the overall quality of life. A few years ago, I started 'actively' implementing different changes/improvements - reading non-fiction/improvement books instead of fiction, allowing myself to enjoy my own successes, recognizing that I can change my own personality for the betterment of myself, prioritizing taking care of myself and my own needs over the needs of others (yes, that is allowed) - then the changes REALLY started coming fast and furious. It's like the snowball or avalanche effect. It takes a while for all the pieces to start moving, but once they do....watch out.
thanks mate, these rules motivate me to take action in the present, which is the hardest thing ive been dealing with. less speculating, more acting hits hard
oh my god yeah I didn't do any math today yet I've been doing it for three days, getting nervous, I haven't even started. I'm sure I'll be less afraid if I start. It's competitive mathematics. Starting is liberating. Right now I don't measure my actions and I measure what thoughts I have. I haven't done any action today or activities.
As an INFJ living with P-OCD, this along with learning to sit with the thought have been powerful tools in learning to handle intrusive thinking. Thank you for saying that. 🫂
@@tiredcaffeine I did! A channel called The School of Life has a great video on it that explains it in great detail to those seeking to understand it from either the outsider or the insider perspective. If you live with it too, I'm sure you understand how hard explaining it can be. Big hug to you and a gentle reminder that you are not your thoughts. 🫂
Those thoughts have helped me steer people a lot, because I could see the dark clouds forming in their head and the rains I was able to address it and clear things.
Sometimes in life, you just have to throw yourself off the cliff and hope for the best (metaphorically). The hardest, yet best thing I learned as an INFJ.
The rule #2 from Jordan Peterson's book 12 rules for life: Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping. This is a rule that every INFJ should try thier best to follow.
Funny, I got sent some video by this guy and after watching another one I am convinced he is an INFJ. So I am going to buy his book, since his process of thinking is like mine.
1. You are the sum and sponge of the people you spend the most time with. 2. Action is the antidote. 3. Every relationship is an investment. 4. Fear is the price of imagination. 5. Do not fight the last war. 6. Soft, slow power can be more effective. 7. "Wise people advise from experience. Wiser people experience, do not advise." 8. Buy the ticket, take the ride. 9. "You do not rise to the levels of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems." 10. Trust, but verify. 11. Find someone to be your INFJ. 12. We create the reality we think we deserve, so be careful.
So many of these hit home! I have extra trouble with #7 though. I might clearly see where a friend is going wrong, and I may know what can be done to fix it before it becomes a disaster, but if I tell them, 99% of the time they won't listen. When the worst happens, they will deny I ever warned them. I end up asking myself why do I even possess a brain? Why did I learn all this stuff, if it is useless to everyone but me? And, so on, into over thinking hell.
Very interesting and thought provoking. As an INFJ I would like to contribute a life rule and say this. "The only person whose healing you are ultimately accountable for is your own". Kind regards from Newcastle U.K
My advice to any infj: •Behave in a way that kills the expectations of people from you. •Don’t make people think that doing them a favour is your duty. •There is a physical way for emotional problems. •avoid saying “sorry” or “thank you” as much as you can. •it’s ok to be pessimistic, but instead of fantasising about it, be prepared for it. -Your misunderstood Te cousin.
This is really, really excellent advice. 1. Yeah, I had to learn that in certain situations, then I could do the same in other situations as well. Our default mode is: be nice at first but this can get easily misinterpreted by others, so often you need to put it aside. 2. Never was the problem for me but if someone thought that, they were proven wrong very fast. 3. Yes, absolutely. It also helps to some extent when someone's really depressed. 4. I do it out of deep conviction because I think it's the right thing to do, not because I "apologise for being alive". So it's the motivation that counts. But I can equally become impolite in seconds if I see that someone behaves badly. 5. Yes, be overprepared. This is crucial. I like a good plan.
• Don't place too much faith in something outside of your hands. • Don't suffer more in your head than what you'd suffer living your life. • One day you may look back and realize you wasted too much time and energy in things and people who don't deserve it, so do yourself a favor and make sure you don't do that.
Awesome advice! I’ve been working on taking a “Te TIME OUT” 😂 This was suggested by an INTJ. Whether it comes to relationships or business, it’s a good practice for an INFJ to write down EXTERNALLY OBSERVABLE FACTS. We fantasize and idealize so many things and overlook this reality. Relationships: What have they done for you? How do they show up? Business: What tangible results are you achieving?
This is such a high quality content I cannot belive it's available for us for free. Those ideas are so on point, it's so helpful for a young infj.Thank you, thank you lovely human♥
The last one hit way too close to home. It has happened to me many times that once I notice a flaw in myself it suddenly becomes bigger and harder to handle, making problems that I already had because of that flaw worse or even creating new problems. I think that the best example with this is my memory: since very little I always struggled with remembering details, or been able to be specific about certain things that happened, but I know for a fact that it wasn't that bad. Nevertheless, I grew up in a house with (confrontational) people who are able to remember even the slightest details; in summary, every time that a "he said-she said" situation arised (which was quite often) I would always be on the losing side, even when I was sure that what I was saying was true, because they were able to remember things that I could not. From there I would say that I just stopped trying to remember things (not completely obviously; just enough to be "functional) and go with whatever other people said that happened. My memory abilities deteriorated so much that at some point it really began to affect me in multiple areas of my life. It was not until recently that I started to work on my confidence about my own memory again, and that I started trying to understand at which point it went downhill. In other words: I 100% agree with that advice (with all of them actually, but especially that one).
I do a lot of big picture, overview, pattern recognition, kind of thinking. For details I do saturation- learning, after which I blend the two to both grasp the essentials and the pattern, and then I let the details sink into my subconscious where they may or may not be easily retrievable. But the essential patterns never leave my grasp. Infj/Enfp ambivert and empath.
For lack of a better word to transmit the inner feeling: thank you. It may sound conventional and even bland because we get to hear it being thrown around with no particular meaning, but I sincerely mean it. I just don’t think I have the right words to express it. Not just for the video. The time you take to understand people, show patience, work hard, build a community,… Thank you for everything that you do.
As an INFJ (and therapist) I want to make the case that #1 is true of all humans but perhaps in varies degrees of magnitude and for others it may be acting upon them in ways that are far more subtle or outside their awareness. I think for myself a defining feature of being an INFJ is an intense mirroring to others the collection of my experiences. We are the apex of this phenomenon. You will get out what you put in for better or worse. Like being a walking garden of sorts and it being quite evident if the people around you are any good at gardening. We are experience-able ‘ghosts’ of all the things before. However, knowing that I relate to other people that way, when I’m talking with someone I’m having an inner monologue of “oh, I’m totally talking to their mom right now, it’s not them.” Or speaking with an INTJ for example and seeing that “ghost script” or some emotional wound or experience that’s clearly playing around in the matrix and they are completely oblivious to it. Thinkers in general seem so radically individualized to themselves they can’t always see “the web” connected to them very well or not at all.
You have such a fantastic way with words, I'm always blown away by how well written your videos are and how well you understand each personality type. I'm an INFJ and this is by farrrrrrrr the best INFJ video I've seen, every single point was eerily spot on and really insightful, so thank you for making it!! ☺️
This idea about using an auxiliary function trick is just scarily relatable. I’ve already caught myself several times on unconsciously getting to cooking before doing some important mental assignments that are challenging or cause me stress. It got into habit, I guess haha
Number 4 felt so relatable... I'm living nightmares now that I'm having my alone time, and guilt is a constant I'm trying to put away. Thanks for the video. 💝
Yes, I think we should follow our fantasies and goals and see where they take us. A good friend of mine once told me, I'm the one she thinks will really achieve their goals. My advice for all INFJs is to just do it. Then you'll see if you like it.
Thank you very much for this content. It is very well thought and highly appreciate it. 🤗 INFJ "12 RULES FOR LIFE" 1. You are the sum and sponge of the people you spend the most time with. 2. Action is the antidote. 3. Every relationship is an investment. 4. Fear is the price of imagination. (There are no bad thoughts only bad actions.) 5. Do not fight the last war. (Avoid stagnation.) 6. Soft, slow power can be more effective. 7. Wise people advice from experience. Wiser people, from experience do not advice. 8. Buy the ticket, take the ride. (Most of your growth has come from venturing outside of your comfort zone.) 9. You do not rise to the level of your goals, You fall to the level of your system. 10. Trust but verify 11. Find someone to be your INFJ. 12. We create the reality, We think we deserve. So be careful.
number 11 and 12 are by far the hardest for me, i don't really like myself so its gonna be really hard to let someone care for me, and i constantly think that im worthless and therefore my results become that reality, good vid though.
As an INTJ type 2, with two close and dear friends of mine being INFJs (one type 4 and one type 9), this is some of the advice I have to offer. 1: To re-emphasize point #10. As an INTJ, I naturally get along very well with my INFJ friends, I adore them in fact. Many times we’re on the same wavelength and our thought processes can co-exist very nicely, they often build off of each other. As an INTJ I greatly value my INFJs’ insight and thoughts, seeing a fellow dominant Ni user's different approach opens up many more possibilities for me to consider. However, the use of Ti for INFJs can be a very sharp double-edged sword. Trying to have discussions can often turn into arguments, and at times even presenting hard facts is not enough to change an INFJs mind if they “feel” something is right. With dominant Ni, I entirely understand that “hunch” “gut feeling” etc. response, leads to many of my thought processes and beliefs. But I would advise INFJs to take the room to step back at times and assess arguments or opposing viewpoints. While that Ni feeling is right a good majority of the time, there are still many times it can be wrong. 2: To INFJs: you are allowed to feel your emotions and you are allowed to be upset by other people’s actions. I’ve found it to be a common pattern that INFJs do feel quite a lot, though they try in vain to suppress it for the sake of others. Many of them, like most Fe types, have a hard time processing and understanding their own emotions. As a low Fi user, one of the best things I ever learned was how to focus on self-reflecting. It can take years sometimes, but it can help tremendously to sit in a quiet space and look deep inside yourself: why do I feel this way? Is it because of others? Is it because of myself? How can I work on this? Any emotion someone may feel is valid and should not be ignored. Many times I’ve witnessed my two INFJ friends completely sink into a low mental state from refusing to discuss their emotions with anyone. Instead of speaking about how they feel, out of fear of being a burden or seeming like they’re attention-seeking, they bottle it up. What I think most INFJs don’t realize, from what I’ve observed, is that many of them believe this bottling up method makes their mood swings and states unnoticeable to others. When in fact it can be extremely obvious when a Fe user sinks into a low mood state due to the emotions they’re battling inwardly; they have a hard time balancing the inward and outward, so when they focus on the inward more, the outward mask they can pride themselves on crumbles apart.
Spot on for point #2. I often tell myself I SHOULDN'T feel a certain way, even if some negative events had occurred. Then I PRETEND that I don't feel that certain way. Despite the person i n the wrong wasn't even me. I just HAD to be a better person, and forgive their actions. Not anymore though, self development yay.
#1 is so true (and #2 too). Te blindspot combined with the tendency to get attached to certain ideas or systems of thought can make many INFJs quite resistant to external evidence or challenges to their beliefs, and they can be almost scarily good at logically manipulating any evidence presented to them so as to force it to fit their existing worldview. Some of the most frustrating interactions I've had have been with INFJs like this. It's a form of intellectual dishonesty. Intellectual honesty, with a decent dose of intellectual humility, is a very important thing for INFJs. As Harry of Cognitive Personality Theory, an INFJ himself, says, INFJs are naturally intellectually arrogant - and may need to learn to temper that a bit.
@@multitudesreplyaccount3163 As an INTJ, I know I can definitely call into holes like these if unchecked too! If I end up in my loop, or any INTJ for that matter, of Ni-Fi it can become pretty similarly frustrating to reason with INTJs. I think typically Te grounding INTJs can help avoid this though! I always found it ironic though that INTJs are the type that get stereotyped as the hard heads who constantly think they’re right
1. The balance between Fe and Ti is very important. Ignoring facts because "I feel this" can lead to wrong assumptions and disappointments or stress as a consequence. The more varied experiences you have, the more chances to balance the two functions out. 2. Fe users can't hide their feelings, that's absolutely true. And we need to show them in order to process them well. I couldn't live a bottled up life, it would kill me.
@@multitudesreplyaccount3163 I think the INFJ directs this intellectual dishonesty against oneself in the end I'm afraid as they will be the ones suffering the consequences of it the most. I'd call this self-deception. This can unfortunately lead to deception of others. I think I came across this Harry guy, he seems like an unbalanced and still immature INFJ to me, so I stopped watching. What he in fact does, is projecting his own arrogance (or better: cognitive bias he's unaware of) onto a whole population of INFJs, which is neither true, nor fair. He does exactly what you described with logically manipulating evidence to fit his point of view without making a reality check. And because it's so logically explained, you'll fall for it. And one should not call their channel "theory" if there's no theory (self developed or taken from someone) whatsoever, so no system, just going on about what "I think is right". This is exactly the cognitive bias I'm talking about. I may not have seen enough of his channel, but then again what I saw was enough for me. He may have some valid points but I see so many inconsistencies there that I am not willing to give it a further go. I also don't like the whole sensors vs. intuitives debate which I also saw him engage in. I feel like he's using the channel for self therapy rather than really diving into the theory of MBTI.
Intuition is my strongest trait, and while Im Ni-ing all the time, I find myself using Ne a lot when I see that things arent working and are not fitting in my system. That's how I develop the systems. "Think outside the box!" I use this a lot when I need to approach new ideas. It feels like grabbing an object from different angles and seeing the new image every time.
I'm gonna share some of my insights, some pretty general, some about being an INFJ: The philosophy of karma is really about trauma. Once you decide to get rid of karma, all sorts of bad things will happen to you, aka. when you start to get out of your learned trauma pattern, you will experience so many unpleasant things in your relationships. But do the work anyway. The experience of getting out of trauma chaos and the trauma gaslight is the most rewarding thing you'll ever experience. It's like getting out of the Matrix and being able to manipulate it like Neo. Also, the theory of karma and previous lives are really just a way that indian people indirectly new about generational trauma. Pretty fantastic. The dao philosophy is the best philosophy to abide by as humans. We are a part of nature and the concept of wu wei tells you how to navigate in nature. If you go through a lot of pain, a lot of people won't be able to relate to it - don't blame them. They just don't understand. Just find the ones that have experienced loss and pain themselves and talk to them once in a while. Learn how to set proper boundaries. It will save yourself from a loooot of stress and anxiety - and it will save people around you from many melt downs and dramatic rants. You are very different. A lot of people will smile at the stuff you are doing and think that you are really weird. Don't bother. They just haven't got the slightest clue as to how you are functioning. They really, really don't understand. Especially extraverts...
FANTASTIC!! Love your witty humor as that’s similar to mine. My advice: Don’t forget to acknowledge your feelings to avoid going nuclear (rare). Understanding people should not mean putting their feelings above yours. Also, don’t go inside your head too much and over analyze…
I Highly related to #4 When I was a kid my imagination would constantly scare me. I had a really hard time falling asleep and I would constantly have nightmares. I almost had intrusive thoughts that would show me the worst possible future outcome of anything I was doing, and so I was afraid of doing anything really. When I first learned how to walk I would hold on to counter-tops and furniture for a really long time because I was scared of falling. But I was also scared of - and fascinated with - horror stories, even though they would affect my sleep. I definitely agree with what you said though, about not using a filter here. Eventually I was hardened to those horrible "visions" and while I still have them, they don't upset me anymore, (though they can be distracting). In fact, I've thought about putting my thoughts onto paper in the form of horror stories, because I'm both worried by and fascinated with the minds ability to affect the body just with our imagination. And I think horror stories are some of the most affective and effective ways of telling a story if you want immediate feedback from the reader. So while it sucked to have this kind of imagination as a child (and I wouldn't wish it on anyone), like you said, I think it can also be a strength.
Love this. Not needing to know everything (to feel safe despite my poor Se) has been a big one for me. I love Pascal’s quote, “Reason’s last step is knowing there is something beyond it.” And allowing the dark thoughts. I have had to learn to hush up my Fe for a minute so my Se can just observe first.
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR POINT NUMBER NINE. I’ve been typed everything under the sun by so many different people, and it’s at the point where I’m constantly doubting my type and constantly digging to confirm over and over again. Te vs Ti in particular is *extremely* difficult for me to distinguish in my brain - I seem to favor them equally. Ti is more visible in cognition but the behavior comes out much, much more like Te… But point number 9 absolutely nails it, it shows me beyond a shadow of a doubt that I can’t be a Te user. In that war room scenario you draw up, I would freeze, throw up, cry, and then run away. I can’t think of a more stressful situation. Thank you so much for clearing up months of confusion with just that one bullet point. Excellent video.
#11 is so relatable, INFJs commonly attracts broken people so it’s kinda hard to find your INFJ, plus, the “Rarest” personality type. Anyways, I kinda found my INFJ in my ISTJ girlfriend.
Literally. When a person decides to talk to you in a packed and busy railway station. This happened to me :) Out of all people they pick me. What followed was a whole very unusual story I'm afraid I can't talk about here but the person was definitely a broken one. Also, being INFJ I know a total of zero INFJs which is a shame because I like my type :)
Completely and Utterly blown away. I never given much stock to the Meyer Briggs personality types, I liked the concept and beleived it to likely be accurate, but didnt think it there was a way for it to be practical and helpful. I have spent the last 7 years studying mental health, devouring books and videos, getting expert medical assistance and advice (which was expensive), trying to improve my coping mechanisms, change my personality and adapt to the riggors of life. And while they are all good tools to have in your tool box, in this one video you have summed up a lot of the practical lessons I wrote down from these expereinces, which help me manage being both an INFJ and Bipolar. Thank you for making this video, I am grateful to watched it. Well done and keep up the good work, your insights are brilliant.
Very clear, informative, eye opening. I almost wish I'd had the chance to see this video when it dropped, but it hits me and means more to me with all I'm going through right now. Thank you for your advice, it's some of the best Ive seen for my type. 🥰 Esp 'they must be careful about who they surround themselves with and avoid those that bring negativity' And 'let the dark thoughts come, they come for a reason'. 'like pulling them out of quicksand' 'find someone to be 'your infj'; emotionally repressed'
Thank you soooooo much! I was looking for INFJ improvement guide earlier wow how did u know? Okay regarding #1 I spent a day with a narcissist and I felt like I want to vomit hahaha so weird, so scary, so ugh virtual hugs for people who are dealing/dealt with a narcissist.
*INTJ with INFJ friends & family* ♡ this definitely resonates with what I've seen! As a rule of thumb, *Amelie Poulain* is supposedly the quintessential INFJ
She's an INFP, as recognized by most. It's odd how people will type some pretty quintessential INFPs as INFJs. Think this speaks to the overly narrow and misguided ideas people have about what INFPs are like, and the frequent conflation of altruism or caring about others with Fe.
Rule 11 makes me more and more certain that it's hard to differentiate an INTP and INFJ sometimes. Would like to see someone delve into that topic. Maybe someone who knows 100 % that they are an INTP and has a friend who is 100% an INFJ could speak on the matter. Or vice versa
this!!!! i’m so confused whether i’m an infj or intp (that and also istp). it’s very interesting but also frustrating because i just can’t figure it out. i think that this is a very interesting topic and i’d love to see some people delve into it
this is more palatable than other videso i have watched on this topic. the way you present this helps me to still accept myself I have taken some notes on it and will have to read andread it until i findaway out of the mess my lfe is in at the moment. i don't feel as if i am being attacked but today i watched vidoes on shame and yesterday i found you well done
What you mentioned about INFJs thinking about what could or might happen and running simulations... this is what INFPs do. Those are specifically NeSi behaviors.
Point 1: You are the sum and sponge of the people you spend the most time with. But what if I've been spending most of my time away from people these days? Is that why I feel so dissociated? Is that why I feel like I'm living on auto-pilot 24/7? I would like some support with this. P.S. I apologise if I sound negligent, I've been dealing with the Ni-Ti loop for a while now.
I love your second piece of advice, and am smdh at how even when I drive, what "should" be an Se activity, I crank up music that makes me deeply introspective and I daydream. I hope it's not as dangerous as it sounds, now that I'm "saying" it out loud...
You’ve got a great understanding of the INFJ. I find it interesting how the INFJ embodies a “Projector” in The Human Design System, created by Ra Uru Hu. I am both an INFJ & a Projector, so I’m quite fascinated by the connection. Great video!
Thank you so much for making this video ❤️❤️❤️ I turned 18 recently and about to move to college in a few days. I've never been all by myself before. I was stressed and worried planning and replanning everything. In this suffocating situation your word of advice felt like fresh air. I really needed it.
As an INFJ I agree with most of these minus #9. My professional career as a critical care nurse and now a nurse practitioner I definitely analyze data on the fly and act in emergencies quite well. I think it’s important for INFJ types to get out of our comfort zones and learn how to act from external data quickly. It’s a weaker trait that just needs work. The more I worked on it in my career the better I got at it until it was second nature. Also working in traumatic situations is almost therapeutic to help me learn to not absorb all negativity. Building a tough shell is important for resilience; Which no matter your personality type is essential in life.
Dear INFJ, I have thought long and hard about what is it that I would like to say to you. We haven’t met, yet our minds wander around the same haunted corridors. I know that it is a scary place to live inside a mind that internalizes the world. I know that you are walking on the middle line between two streets jammed with cars that move in opposite directions. I know that you hear, see, feel and think about everything. And I know how scary and overwhelming that can be. Perhaps there isn’t an advice I can give to you knowing how hard it is to take what others tell you and live by it unless you have come to the same conclusion on your own. So, instead, I am writing this to tell you that you are not alone on this journey. But please take care of yourself as much as you can. I am aware that this can be a challenge to you and yet I still dare you to challenge yourself. Start planning your schedule to involve me time. Try to let people solve their own dilemmas without jumping in to save the day. I know that you are sensitive to their needs, but I also know that you get to a stage of burnout more often than not. It’s a circular hell you need to move away from. I know that you will read and understand this, yet still question things. That’s all right. Do that. As long as this can serve as a reminder and makes you feel understood, I welcome the doubt and questioning. Thank you for being you. I understand you and I appreciate the effort and battle you lead every single day. I send you lots of positive energy your way. You can do this! 😇💜🥳 I cheer for you.
Seriously impressive, Nathan. Many thanks for this one!! I took notes, externalising these memories. Now on to the application bit! For starters i have subscribed. Can I get a cookie now?
Hi Nathan, I'm new to your channel. Glad I found these videos that perfectly describe the storm and vivid life of INFJ's mind. Was wondering if you're planning to write a book about INFJ? Or you might have written one, I think that would be cool!
“Find someone to be your INFJ” really struck me. I’m a life/career coach, and I’ve never found anyone who can help me to the degree that I help others. Can anyone reading this be my INFJ?😂👀
Just recently learned a quote by Einstein. Perhaps it will suit a couple Ni users. Or maybe just people who battle anxiety. He said "we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them".
As an INFJ planning things can become a chore as you want to do it but sometimes, thinking about all the steps involved tire you out, so try to mold your thinking into thinking about major steps and try to disregard minor ones, Now I know you will still think about those steps and then remove them, but given some time, you should be able to just think about the major ones, That can really help you go about your life and even noting down or creating a day timetable for yourself!
You requested further life rules your audience would give as advice... read 2 books. Change or Die by Alan Deutschman and Mindset by Carol Dweck.. Basically - Change or Die and develop a growth mindset.
I'll be really implementing these rules on my channel if anyone is interested. Slowly transitioning from the unhealthiest to the healthiest infj of all time
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![[MV] A leap of faith...ความเชื่อใจครั้งสุดท้าย (From "Petrichor the series")](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/U1piZH2CNXA/mqdefault.jpg)
Many of these points will apply to lots of similar types (such as ENFJs and INTJs). Also, I've never read 12 Rules for Life, I just decided in true TH-cam fashion to include a well known phrase in the title and use that as a premise for a video series ~ Nathan
Don’t read it. It’s bad.
@@riverunconfirmed Why do I get the sense that a debate might arise from this...
@@lovewho why don't you try and read the book
i think you will like it
@@lovewho because you are using your Ni well
Grifting of Jordan Peterson followers is 💯 allowed and encouraged
Rule (more like advice) to my younger INFJ self:
- It's them, not you.
- You cannot predict anything with 100% accuracy, and that's aye okay.
- Don't blame yourself for not being able to foresee something.
- Less speculating, more acting.
- To have tried then judge is better than to pre-emptive judge and not try.
- More frequent small disagreements that solve problems is better 1 explosive door slam.
- Start reading more non-fiction books asap. You will find so many minds like yours.
- That's expected that you don't feel connected with most people. Most of the population is either E or S.
- Not every opinion is valid. You don't have to always put weight on them.
- You are smart & capable af, even at times you get imposter syndrome.
- Express your emotions in a logical way, even if it tickles some the wrong way, is way more liberating.
- Your personality is not fixed. You are allowed to grow and change.
- You change fast. Accept that.
- Allow yourself to pursue conventional success. That doesn't mean you are not spiritual or materialistic.
THIS!!!!
Thank you so much
Any non-fiction recommendations for the young INFJs in the wild out there?
As a infj male, I can definitely relate to this entire list. Thanks for the confirmation that I am not just nuts.
I've been incorporating various aspects of this list w/o consciously realizing it. They all make a huge difference in the overall quality of life.
A few years ago, I started 'actively' implementing different changes/improvements - reading non-fiction/improvement books instead of fiction, allowing myself to enjoy my own successes, recognizing that I can change my own personality for the betterment of myself, prioritizing taking care of myself and my own needs over the needs of others (yes, that is allowed) - then the changes REALLY started coming fast and furious.
It's like the snowball or avalanche effect. It takes a while for all the pieces to start moving, but once they do....watch out.
thanks mate, these rules motivate me to take action in the present, which is the hardest thing ive been dealing with. less speculating, more acting hits hard
"There are no bad thoughts, only bad actions." I needed to hear that
No, you made my social anxiety even worse 😅
oh my god yeah I didn't do any math today yet I've been doing it for three days, getting nervous, I haven't even started. I'm sure I'll be less afraid if I start. It's competitive mathematics. Starting is liberating. Right now I don't measure my actions and I measure what thoughts I have. I haven't done any action today or activities.
Well that's wrong.
Me too ❤
You can also hear it in Taylor Swifts song: Guilty As Sin
#4
To my young INFJ's, who have dark thoughts, remember that you can entertain the thought without accepting it.
As an INFJ living with P-OCD, this along with learning to sit with the thought have been powerful tools in learning to handle intrusive thinking. Thank you for saying that. 🫂
I now rarely have dark thoughts .
@@christerp1 Same. (I think you meant pure OCD) It is a hell, isn't it?
@@tiredcaffeine I did! A channel called The School of Life has a great video on it that explains it in great detail to those seeking to understand it from either the outsider or the insider perspective.
If you live with it too, I'm sure you understand how hard explaining it can be.
Big hug to you and a gentle reminder that you are not your thoughts. 🫂
Those thoughts have helped me steer people a lot, because I could see the dark clouds forming in their head and the rains I was able to address it and clear things.
Sometimes in life, you just have to throw yourself off the cliff and hope for the best (metaphorically). The hardest, yet best thing I learned as an INFJ.
The rule #2 from Jordan Peterson's book 12 rules for life: Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.
This is a rule that every INFJ should try thier best to follow.
Agree completely
100% agree
Funny, I got sent some video by this guy and after watching another one I am convinced he is an INFJ. So I am going to buy his book, since his process of thinking is like mine.
@@thirstwithoutborders995 He's most likely either INTP or sth similar. Either way, Si and Ne user.
SO helpful yes I try to think of myself as if I’m my child
1. You are the sum and sponge of the people you spend the most time with.
2. Action is the antidote.
3. Every relationship is an investment.
4. Fear is the price of imagination.
5. Do not fight the last war.
6. Soft, slow power can be more effective.
7. "Wise people advise from experience. Wiser people experience, do not advise."
8. Buy the ticket, take the ride.
9. "You do not rise to the levels of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems."
10. Trust, but verify.
11. Find someone to be your INFJ.
12. We create the reality we think we deserve, so be careful.
So many of these hit home! I have extra trouble with #7 though. I might clearly see where a friend is going wrong, and I may know what can be done to fix it before it becomes a disaster, but if I tell them, 99% of the time they won't listen. When the worst happens, they will deny I ever warned them. I end up asking myself why do I even possess a brain? Why did I learn all this stuff, if it is useless to everyone but me? And, so on, into over thinking hell.
The headings were so well thought out honestly
INTJ TL;DR
Can infj having relationship with entj
Very interesting and thought provoking. As an INFJ I would like to contribute a life rule and say this.
"The only person whose healing you are ultimately accountable for is your own".
Kind regards from Newcastle U.K
woooooh hi from durham
💯
It has taken me far too long to learn this. Thanks for passing this on.
My advice to any infj:
•Behave in a way that kills the expectations of people from you.
•Don’t make people think that doing them a favour is your duty.
•There is a physical way for emotional problems.
•avoid saying “sorry” or “thank you” as much as you can.
•it’s ok to be pessimistic, but instead of fantasising about it, be prepared for it.
-Your misunderstood Te cousin.
This is really, really excellent advice.
1. Yeah, I had to learn that in certain situations, then I could do the same in other situations as well. Our default mode is: be nice at first but this can get easily misinterpreted by others, so often you need to put it aside.
2. Never was the problem for me but if someone thought that, they were proven wrong very fast.
3. Yes, absolutely. It also helps to some extent when someone's really depressed.
4. I do it out of deep conviction because I think it's the right thing to do, not because I "apologise for being alive". So it's the motivation that counts. But I can equally become impolite in seconds if I see that someone behaves badly.
5. Yes, be overprepared. This is crucial. I like a good plan.
Hi, what do you mean by physical way for emotional problems ?
the first point is something I have never thought about. Thank u so much for that - i'll have to think about that and change a lot!
Thank you so much
@@roxanei8540 physical outlet
• Don't place too much faith in something outside of your hands.
• Don't suffer more in your head than what you'd suffer living your life.
• One day you may look back and realize you wasted too much time and energy in things and people who don't deserve it, so do yourself a favor and make sure you don't do that.
One rule that I have learned recently is that I don't have to be what people want me to be.
Hey, wait, this really is me. I suddenly feel like I'm in Grand Central Station, which is actually awesome.
“Never say “What’s the worst that happen?” to an introvert.
We tend to have fantastic imaginations.”
-personal motto.
Awesome advice!
I’ve been working on taking a “Te TIME OUT” 😂 This was suggested by an INTJ. Whether it comes to relationships or business, it’s a good practice for an INFJ to write down EXTERNALLY OBSERVABLE FACTS.
We fantasize and idealize so many things and overlook this reality.
Relationships: What have they done for you? How do they show up?
Business: What tangible results are you achieving?
YES, same here. For I don't know what reason I started writing notes and thoughts down. It has helped calm me down but also organize my thoughts.
That’s great advice!
This is great! I will do the same!! ☺️
This is such a high quality content I cannot belive it's available for us for free. Those ideas are so on point, it's so helpful for a young infj.Thank you, thank you lovely human♥
The last one hit way too close to home. It has happened to me many times that once I notice a flaw in myself it suddenly becomes bigger and harder to handle, making problems that I already had because of that flaw worse or even creating new problems.
I think that the best example with this is my memory: since very little I always struggled with remembering details, or been able to be specific about certain things that happened, but I know for a fact that it wasn't that bad. Nevertheless, I grew up in a house with (confrontational) people who are able to remember even the slightest details; in summary, every time that a "he said-she said" situation arised (which was quite often) I would always be on the losing side, even when I was sure that what I was saying was true, because they were able to remember things that I could not. From there I would say that I just stopped trying to remember things (not completely obviously; just enough to be "functional) and go with whatever other people said that happened. My memory abilities deteriorated so much that at some point it really began to affect me in multiple areas of my life. It was not until recently that I started to work on my confidence about my own memory again, and that I started trying to understand at which point it went downhill.
In other words: I 100% agree with that advice (with all of them actually, but especially that one).
I do a lot of big picture, overview, pattern recognition, kind of thinking. For details I do saturation- learning, after which I blend the two to both grasp the essentials and the pattern, and then I let the details sink into my subconscious where they may or may not be easily retrievable. But the essential patterns never leave my grasp. Infj/Enfp ambivert and empath.
When you said INFJs are not misunderstood but Not understood 😳 My need to be mysterious and fade into the night knows no bounds
Yes Nathan, give me the keys to the kingdom!
Definitely trying HACK this INFJ life of mine.
OH MY GOODNESS… this just reminded me of something I made as a kid. “Annika’s 100 Rules of Life” 😭
As an INFJ and an avid Jordan Peterson listener, I found this very refreshing and helpful.
As an INFJ Jordan Peterson gives me weird vibes and I can't yet pin point what it is.
#11
I think a really healthy Fi user can be INFJ's to INFJs.
- infp
My sister is an INFP. She’s my best friend.
For lack of a better word to transmit the inner feeling: thank you. It may sound conventional and even bland because we get to hear it being thrown around with no particular meaning, but I sincerely mean it. I just don’t think I have the right words to express it. Not just for the video. The time you take to understand people, show patience, work hard, build a community,… Thank you for everything that you do.
As an INFJ (and therapist) I want to make the case that #1 is true of all humans but perhaps in varies degrees of magnitude and for others it may be acting upon them in ways that are far more subtle or outside their awareness. I think for myself a defining feature of being an INFJ is an intense mirroring to others the collection of my experiences. We are the apex of this phenomenon. You will get out what you put in for better or worse. Like being a walking garden of sorts and it being quite evident if the people around you are any good at gardening. We are experience-able ‘ghosts’ of all the things before. However, knowing that I relate to other people that way, when I’m talking with someone I’m having an inner monologue of “oh, I’m totally talking to their mom right now, it’s not them.” Or speaking with an INTJ for example and seeing that “ghost script” or some emotional wound or experience that’s clearly playing around in the matrix and they are completely oblivious to it. Thinkers in general seem so radically individualized to themselves they can’t always see “the web” connected to them very well or not at all.
You have such a fantastic way with words, I'm always blown away by how well written your videos are and how well you understand each personality type. I'm an INFJ and this is by farrrrrrrr the best INFJ video I've seen, every single point was eerily spot on and really insightful, so thank you for making it!! ☺️
This idea about using an auxiliary function trick is just scarily relatable. I’ve already caught myself several times on unconsciously getting to cooking before doing some important mental assignments that are challenging or cause me stress. It got into habit, I guess haha
People talk to us to make them comfortable….
But who’s gonna comfort us?
Now I feel depressed again
-INFJ
Number 4 felt so relatable... I'm living nightmares now that I'm having my alone time, and guilt is a constant I'm trying to put away. Thanks for the video. 💝
Yes, I think we should follow our fantasies and goals and see where they take us. A good friend of mine once told me, I'm the one she thinks will really achieve their goals. My advice for all INFJs is to just do it. Then you'll see if you like it.
Thank you very much for this content. It is very well thought and highly appreciate it. 🤗
INFJ "12 RULES FOR LIFE"
1. You are the sum and sponge of the people you spend the most time with.
2. Action is the antidote.
3. Every relationship is an investment.
4. Fear is the price of imagination. (There are no bad thoughts only bad actions.)
5. Do not fight the last war. (Avoid stagnation.)
6. Soft, slow power can be more effective.
7. Wise people advice from experience. Wiser people, from experience do not advice.
8. Buy the ticket, take the ride. (Most of your growth has come from venturing outside of your comfort zone.)
9. You do not rise to the level of your goals, You fall to the level of your system.
10. Trust but verify
11. Find someone to be your INFJ.
12. We create the reality, We think we deserve. So be careful.
Wait but the Buy the Ticket 🎟 hits so literally.
number 11 and 12 are by far the hardest for me, i don't really like myself so its gonna be really hard to let someone care for me, and i constantly think that im worthless and therefore my results become that reality, good vid though.
Sharing this with my INFJ son.
As an INTJ type 2, with two close and dear friends of mine being INFJs (one type 4 and one type 9), this is some of the advice I have to offer.
1: To re-emphasize point #10. As an INTJ, I naturally get along very well with my INFJ friends, I adore them in fact. Many times we’re on the same wavelength and our thought processes can co-exist very nicely, they often build off of each other. As an INTJ I greatly value my INFJs’ insight and thoughts, seeing a fellow dominant Ni user's different approach opens up many more possibilities for me to consider. However, the use of Ti for INFJs can be a very sharp double-edged sword. Trying to have discussions can often turn into arguments, and at times even presenting hard facts is not enough to change an INFJs mind if they “feel” something is right. With dominant Ni, I entirely understand that “hunch” “gut feeling” etc. response, leads to many of my thought processes and beliefs. But I would advise INFJs to take the room to step back at times and assess arguments or opposing viewpoints. While that Ni feeling is right a good majority of the time, there are still many times it can be wrong.
2: To INFJs: you are allowed to feel your emotions and you are allowed to be upset by other people’s actions. I’ve found it to be a common pattern that INFJs do feel quite a lot, though they try in vain to suppress it for the sake of others. Many of them, like most Fe types, have a hard time processing and understanding their own emotions. As a low Fi user, one of the best things I ever learned was how to focus on self-reflecting. It can take years sometimes, but it can help tremendously to sit in a quiet space and look deep inside yourself: why do I feel this way? Is it because of others? Is it because of myself? How can I work on this? Any emotion someone may feel is valid and should not be ignored. Many times I’ve witnessed my two INFJ friends completely sink into a low mental state from refusing to discuss their emotions with anyone. Instead of speaking about how they feel, out of fear of being a burden or seeming like they’re attention-seeking, they bottle it up. What I think most INFJs don’t realize, from what I’ve observed, is that many of them believe this bottling up method makes their mood swings and states unnoticeable to others. When in fact it can be extremely obvious when a Fe user sinks into a low mood state due to the emotions they’re battling inwardly; they have a hard time balancing the inward and outward, so when they focus on the inward more, the outward mask they can pride themselves on crumbles apart.
Spot on for point #2. I often tell myself I SHOULDN'T feel a certain way, even if some negative events had occurred. Then I PRETEND that I don't feel that certain way. Despite the person i n the wrong wasn't even me. I just HAD to be a better person, and forgive their actions. Not anymore though, self development yay.
#1 is so true (and #2 too). Te blindspot combined with the tendency to get attached to certain ideas or systems of thought can make many INFJs quite resistant to external evidence or challenges to their beliefs, and they can be almost scarily good at logically manipulating any evidence presented to them so as to force it to fit their existing worldview. Some of the most frustrating interactions I've had have been with INFJs like this. It's a form of intellectual dishonesty. Intellectual honesty, with a decent dose of intellectual humility, is a very important thing for INFJs. As Harry of Cognitive Personality Theory, an INFJ himself, says, INFJs are naturally intellectually arrogant - and may need to learn to temper that a bit.
@@multitudesreplyaccount3163 As an INTJ, I know I can definitely call into holes like these if unchecked too! If I end up in my loop, or any INTJ for that matter, of Ni-Fi it can become pretty similarly frustrating to reason with INTJs. I think typically Te grounding INTJs can help avoid this though! I always found it ironic though that INTJs are the type that get stereotyped as the hard heads who constantly think they’re right
1. The balance between Fe and Ti is very important. Ignoring facts because "I feel this" can lead to wrong assumptions and disappointments or stress as a consequence. The more varied experiences you have, the more chances to balance the two functions out.
2. Fe users can't hide their feelings, that's absolutely true. And we need to show them in order to process them well. I couldn't live a bottled up life, it would kill me.
@@multitudesreplyaccount3163 I think the INFJ directs this intellectual dishonesty against oneself in the end I'm afraid as they will be the ones suffering the consequences of it the most. I'd call this self-deception. This can unfortunately lead to deception of others.
I think I came across this Harry guy, he seems like an unbalanced and still immature INFJ to me, so I stopped watching. What he in fact does, is projecting his own arrogance (or better: cognitive bias he's unaware of) onto a whole population of INFJs, which is neither true, nor fair. He does exactly what you described with logically manipulating evidence to fit his point of view without making a reality check. And because it's so logically explained, you'll fall for it.
And one should not call their channel "theory" if there's no theory (self developed or taken from someone) whatsoever, so no system, just going on about what "I think is right". This is exactly the cognitive bias I'm talking about. I may not have seen enough of his channel, but then again what I saw was enough for me. He may have some valid points but I see so many inconsistencies there that I am not willing to give it a further go. I also don't like the whole sensors vs. intuitives debate which I also saw him engage in. I feel like he's using the channel for self therapy rather than really diving into the theory of MBTI.
Intuition is my strongest trait, and while Im Ni-ing all the time, I find myself using Ne a lot when I see that things arent working and are not fitting in my system. That's how I develop the systems.
"Think outside the box!"
I use this a lot when I need to approach new ideas. It feels like grabbing an object from different angles and seeing the new image every time.
The simulator INFJ thing is definitely REAL! I didn't even realize how much I do this everyday! Great tips. Been trying to use my inferior SE more
I'm gonna share some of my insights, some pretty general, some about being an INFJ:
The philosophy of karma is really about trauma. Once you decide to get rid of karma, all sorts of bad things will happen to you, aka. when you start to get out of your learned trauma pattern, you will experience so many unpleasant things in your relationships. But do the work anyway. The experience of getting out of trauma chaos and the trauma gaslight is the most rewarding thing you'll ever experience. It's like getting out of the Matrix and being able to manipulate it like Neo.
Also, the theory of karma and previous lives are really just a way that indian people indirectly new about generational trauma.
Pretty fantastic.
The dao philosophy is the best philosophy to abide by as humans. We are a part of nature and the concept of wu wei tells you how to navigate in nature.
If you go through a lot of pain, a lot of people won't be able to relate to it - don't blame them. They just don't understand. Just find the ones that have experienced loss and pain themselves and talk to them once in a while.
Learn how to set proper boundaries. It will save yourself from a loooot of stress and anxiety - and it will save people around you from many melt downs and dramatic rants.
You are very different. A lot of people will smile at the stuff you are doing and think that you are really weird. Don't bother. They just haven't got the slightest clue as to how you are functioning. They really, really don't understand. Especially extraverts...
FANTASTIC!! Love your witty humor as that’s similar to mine. My advice: Don’t forget to acknowledge your feelings to avoid going nuclear (rare). Understanding people should not mean putting their feelings above yours. Also, don’t go inside your head too much and over analyze…
Thanks so much for these steps. As a proud, often misunderstood INFJ, I will aim to use them all to my advantage! ♥️😁
I Highly related to #4
When I was a kid my imagination would constantly scare me. I had a really hard time falling asleep and I would constantly have nightmares. I almost had intrusive thoughts that would show me the worst possible future outcome of anything I was doing, and so I was afraid of doing anything really. When I first learned how to walk I would hold on to counter-tops and furniture for a really long time because I was scared of falling. But I was also scared of - and fascinated with - horror stories, even though they would affect my sleep.
I definitely agree with what you said though, about not using a filter here. Eventually I was hardened to those horrible "visions" and while I still have them, they don't upset me anymore, (though they can be distracting).
In fact, I've thought about putting my thoughts onto paper in the form of horror stories, because I'm both worried by and fascinated with the minds ability to affect the body just with our imagination. And I think horror stories are some of the most affective and effective ways of telling a story if you want immediate feedback from the reader.
So while it sucked to have this kind of imagination as a child (and I wouldn't wish it on anyone), like you said, I think it can also be a strength.
Second that
Love this. Not needing to know everything (to feel safe despite my poor Se) has been a big one for me. I love Pascal’s quote, “Reason’s last step is knowing there is something beyond it.”
And allowing the dark thoughts. I have had to learn to hush up my Fe for a minute so my Se can just observe first.
You have no idea how much I needed this! Writing this all down for reference. Thank you!
Ooo, I like this series. Can't wait for INFPs turn
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR POINT NUMBER NINE. I’ve been typed everything under the sun by so many different people, and it’s at the point where I’m constantly doubting my type and constantly digging to confirm over and over again. Te vs Ti in particular is *extremely* difficult for me to distinguish in my brain - I seem to favor them equally. Ti is more visible in cognition but the behavior comes out much, much more like Te… But point number 9 absolutely nails it, it shows me beyond a shadow of a doubt that I can’t be a Te user. In that war room scenario you draw up, I would freeze, throw up, cry, and then run away. I can’t think of a more stressful situation.
Thank you so much for clearing up months of confusion with just that one bullet point. Excellent video.
Great video! Would love if you expatiate on the idea of how we create the reality we think we deserve on your Nathan Glass channel!!
We create the reality we think we deserve. Ugh. Hits home. So true.
#11 is so relatable, INFJs commonly attracts broken people so it’s kinda hard to find your INFJ, plus, the “Rarest” personality type.
Anyways, I kinda found my INFJ in my ISTJ girlfriend.
Literally. When a person decides to talk to you in a packed and busy railway station. This happened to me :) Out of all people they pick me. What followed was a whole very unusual story I'm afraid I can't talk about here but the person was definitely a broken one.
Also, being INFJ I know a total of zero INFJs which is a shame because I like my type :)
@@PriHL maybe we can fill this gap by being friends. I too have 0 infj friends.
Almost most of my friends are broken and they kept saying that they have never met the same personality as me
I love the dirty mirror analogy. We can help others see themselves more clearly. Great video
Completely and Utterly blown away. I never given much stock to the Meyer Briggs personality types, I liked the concept and beleived it to likely be accurate, but didnt think it there was a way for it to be practical and helpful. I have spent the last 7 years studying mental health, devouring books and videos, getting expert medical assistance and advice (which was expensive), trying to improve my coping mechanisms, change my personality and adapt to the riggors of life. And while they are all good tools to have in your tool box, in this one video you have summed up a lot of the practical lessons I wrote down from these expereinces, which help me manage being both an INFJ and Bipolar. Thank you for making this video, I am grateful to watched it. Well done and keep up the good work, your insights are brilliant.
Nathan= GOAT
Very clear, informative, eye opening.
I almost wish I'd had the chance to see this video when it dropped, but it hits me and means more to me with all I'm going through right now. Thank you for your advice, it's some of the best Ive seen for my type. 🥰 Esp 'they must be careful about who they surround themselves with and avoid those that bring negativity'
And 'let the dark thoughts come, they come for a reason'.
'like pulling them out of quicksand'
'find someone to be 'your infj'; emotionally repressed'
Also "low key control freak tendecies"???
Excuse you, my Control Freak Tendencies are *very high* thankyouverymuch! 😠
Thank you, just thank you for this.
Thank you soooooo much! I was looking for INFJ improvement guide earlier wow how did u know? Okay regarding #1 I spent a day with a narcissist and I felt like I want to vomit hahaha so weird, so scary, so ugh virtual hugs for people who are dealing/dealt with a narcissist.
I can relate to all of the above mentioned topics
#2 feels like #2 to me. This is the hardest for me to implement. All of these rules are applicable and very very helpful. Thank you!
Me too.
*INTJ with INFJ friends & family* ♡ this definitely resonates with what I've seen! As a rule of thumb, *Amelie Poulain* is supposedly the quintessential INFJ
Ugh, she's not. How can people mistake blatant Ne for Ni...
She's an INFP, as recognized by most. It's odd how people will type some pretty quintessential INFPs as INFJs. Think this speaks to the overly narrow and misguided ideas people have about what INFPs are like, and the frequent conflation of altruism or caring about others with Fe.
@@multitudesreplyaccount3163 Yeah but it goes both ways, Hitler and Gandhi (and Jung...) being typed as INFJs is ridiculous. They are TPs.
I need to cultivate more relationships
Rule 11 makes me more and more certain that it's hard to differentiate an INTP and INFJ sometimes. Would like to see someone delve into that topic. Maybe someone who knows 100 % that they are an INTP and has a friend who is 100% an INFJ could speak on the matter. Or vice versa
this!!!! i’m so confused whether i’m an infj or intp (that and also istp). it’s very interesting but also frustrating because i just can’t figure it out. i think that this is a very interesting topic and i’d love to see some people delve into it
I’m an INFJ I really appreciate the information you give us. It’s is really helpful. Thank you very much!
this is more palatable than other videso i have watched on this topic. the way you present this helps me to still accept myself I have taken some notes on it and will have to read andread it until i findaway out of the mess my lfe is in at the moment. i don't feel as if i am being attacked but today i watched vidoes on shame and yesterday i found you well done
What you mentioned about INFJs thinking about what could or might happen and running simulations... this is what INFPs do. Those are specifically NeSi behaviors.
Point 1: You are the sum and sponge of the people you spend the most time with.
But what if I've been spending most of my time away from people these days? Is that why I feel so dissociated? Is that why I feel like I'm living on auto-pilot 24/7? I would like some support with this.
P.S. I apologise if I sound negligent, I've been dealing with the Ni-Ti loop for a while now.
I love your second piece of advice, and am smdh at how even when I drive, what "should" be an Se activity, I crank up music that makes me deeply introspective and I daydream. I hope it's not as dangerous as it sounds, now that I'm "saying" it out loud...
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
You’ve got a great understanding of the INFJ. I find it interesting how the INFJ embodies a “Projector” in The Human Design System, created by Ra Uru Hu. I am both an INFJ & a Projector, so I’m quite fascinated by the connection. Great video!
Thank you so much for making this video ❤️❤️❤️
I turned 18 recently and about to move to college in a few days. I've never been all by myself before. I was stressed and worried planning and replanning everything. In this suffocating situation your word of advice felt like fresh air. I really needed it.
You got this! 🤘🖖✌️
Wait....Are u from india? Because I'm 18 and soon moving for college too. Oh and yes, an infj myself
@@user-or3lb9py8w nah I'm from Bangladesh
@@NusratJahan-kd6sm oh sorry 😂😂 I'm in the same point so I thought we live in the same country. Sorry for being inconsiderate
@@user-or3lb9py8w no need to be sorry...It's ok
Excellent guidance, thank you!!!
5:30 i liked the seventh one so much!! thank you sincerely.
As an INFJ I agree with most of these minus #9. My professional career as a critical care nurse and now a nurse practitioner I definitely analyze data on the fly and act in emergencies quite well. I think it’s important for INFJ types to get out of our comfort zones and learn how to act from external data quickly. It’s a weaker trait that just needs work. The more I worked on it in my career the better I got at it until it was second nature. Also working in traumatic situations is almost therapeutic to help me learn to not absorb all negativity. Building a tough shell is important for resilience; Which no matter your personality type is essential in life.
This video was amazing and others I've viewed.You're now in one of my top 5 MBTI TH-camrs.
Dear INFJ,
I have thought long and hard about what is it that I would like to say to you. We haven’t met, yet our minds wander around the same haunted corridors. I know that it is a scary place to live inside a mind that internalizes the world. I know that you are walking on the middle line between two streets jammed with cars that move in opposite directions. I know that you hear, see, feel and think about everything. And I know how scary and overwhelming that can be. Perhaps there isn’t an advice I can give to you knowing how hard it is to take what others tell you and live by it unless you have come to the same conclusion on your own. So, instead, I am writing this to tell you that you are not alone on this journey. But please take care of yourself as much as you can. I am aware that this can be a challenge to you and yet I still dare you to challenge yourself. Start planning your schedule to involve me time. Try to let people solve their own dilemmas without jumping in to save the day. I know that you are sensitive to their needs, but I also know that you get to a stage of burnout more often than not. It’s a circular hell you need to move away from. I know that you will read and understand this, yet still question things. That’s all right. Do that. As long as this can serve as a reminder and makes you feel understood, I welcome the doubt and questioning.
Thank you for being you. I understand you and I appreciate the effort and battle you lead every single day.
I send you lots of positive energy your way. You can do this! 😇💜🥳 I cheer for you.
Thank you.
Thanks for this,
Seriously impressive, Nathan. Many thanks for this one!! I took notes, externalising these memories. Now on to the application bit!
For starters i have subscribed. Can I get a cookie now?
Thank you for providing this placeholder dusty mirror for those of us who haven't found our own INFJs yet, Nathan!
genuinely appreciate the advice!
Hi Nathan, I'm new to your channel. Glad I found these videos that perfectly describe the storm and vivid life of INFJ's mind. Was wondering if you're planning to write a book about INFJ? Or you might have written one, I think that would be cool!
Thanks Nathan your videos never fail us🙌
The rules were actually helpful to hear; I will keep them in mind in future. Thank you! :)
#2 doing chores, driving to store, always the go to 😂
Brilliant tips for INFJ.
“Find someone to be your INFJ” really struck me. I’m a life/career coach, and I’ve never found anyone who can help me to the degree that I help others. Can anyone reading this be my INFJ?😂👀
Can't wait for ENFJs episode ❤
This was great! Can you make one for ENFPs?
Just recently learned a quote by Einstein. Perhaps it will suit a couple Ni users. Or maybe just people who battle anxiety. He said "we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them".
This is great, Nathan. I'll probably come back to this video from time to time.
#12 for sure, it's something I struggle with a lot but to think I can be just as great if I focused on it more positively.
Very good stuff sir,
Thank you.
Wow,so helpful now that I see I am an INFJ!!!!
Holy moly - this hits hard and deep.
Love the format, so please do make it a format! Also, I kinda like the idea of being a dusty mirror for others. 😇😂
I like this series idea!☺️✨
As an INFJ Grant, I will have to be my own INFJ (since I don't know any)
Great idea and job as always.
Wow, this is gold. Thank you.
Yo thnks buddy♡
My mind is vary scary alot of times. It scares me alot.
As an INFJ planning things can become a chore as you want to do it but sometimes, thinking about all the steps involved tire you out, so try to mold your thinking into thinking about major steps and try to disregard minor ones, Now I know you will still think about those steps and then remove them, but given some time, you should be able to just think about the major ones, That can really help you go about your life and even noting down or creating a day timetable for yourself!
You requested further life rules your audience would give as advice... read 2 books. Change or Die by Alan Deutschman and Mindset by Carol Dweck.. Basically - Change or Die and develop a growth mindset.
as an istp i feel like i relate to INFJs so much
I'll be really implementing these rules on my channel if anyone is interested. Slowly transitioning from the unhealthiest to the healthiest infj of all time
Excellent. Cheers.