This is one of the worst parts of my OCD ... And it's exhausting. What's worse is that I know it's in my head, but then I start to panic about things I know I didn't do and become consumed with guilt, anxiety, and frustration.
@@sashwatyo1293 same happens with me.My brain is in such bad situation that it sensationalise normal things of Past by fabricating them and I struggle whole day with guilt
Everytime I ruminate, my brain adds details or new thoughts/feelings that I never actually had, but I go into panic mode because the thoughts/feelings are terrifying. I always end up thinking "I feel guilty, so I must be guilty" it's so debilitating
my problem is those OCD latches on things that im already ocd about, like today i played with the AC control and i i legit have a thought now that i fucked my AC up, now that ocd made me think i will have trouble breathing until i change the AC unit completely, fuck this shit, im not gonna buy another AC again, fuck fuck fuck i just got rid of false memory ocd about phyiscal diseases and this comes, i cannot just livvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
This is so relatable, my OCD constantly changes the story to make it worse and more distressing and even though I know it makes no sense it just feels so real sometimes which makes it pretty impossible to not obsess over
I've been dealing with this a lot lately and it sucks; it sucks to know that your own mind is so unreliable, and it sucks to think that you can't trust your own memories- it makes so much of life harder when you're terrified that you've already said or done something to solidify the very thing you're afraid of.
@@ocdandanxiety thank u for the support! I'm definitely just taking things one day at a time, but content like yours is so helpful because it's a reminder that I'm not alone and that I can work through this
@@DogMommy. I don't know that I'd say better per say; it's more like managing a chronic illness. There are periods of time when it's more manageable than others 💜
So grateful I found this video! I've struggled with OCD, intrusive thoughts and false memories for a while now. Just recently I thought about a memory, got intrusive thoughts about it and convinced myself I did something awful. I've thought about it 24-7 and I'm going crazy. I know I didn't do anything wrong but I still feel guilty for it. So thanks for this video! It hit spot on. I'm going to try your tips! Thanks again!!!
Thank you so much for your kind words. This means a lot to me. I am so glad that the video was able to help you. I hope that you can feel some relief soon!
I have false memory OCD for about three years. I always wonder that whether I said something disgusting and offensive to others. If I am not alone, in which case there are some people around me, I can ask them to make sure I didn’t say something inappropriate. However, when I was alone or in the public place where surrounded by unknown people, this feeling would be very strong. The urge to try to remember everything is very terrible. And I always try to find some details to prove that I did nothing wrong, like a detective.As long as I find some evidence to prove my innocence, the situation will be largely relieved. However, if there is no evidence, I will feel very frustrating. Thanks for your videos, this can rise the advocacy of this disease. I want all of the people who suffered from OCD can receive empathy and love from other people.
Years ago I had this kinda saying inappropriate words OCD, but now it has grown to a very weird one, when I go outside alone the OCD says "did you kill a person? did you blablabla?" The bad thing is I don't have someone to ask and it's very frustrating. The only way I can do is remember and believe but I have OCD so you know...
@@ocdandanxiety I had a panic attack and haven't been able to forget about it for 3 days. It wasnt a big deal at all but it caused a 2nd panic attack the next day and I have been super nervous with elevated heart rate and tension in my shoulders trying to elevate something I know was stupid. I drink, and cant lie I'd be considered an alcoholic. I think the alcohol is creating the emotional circular thinking I'm experiencing. I dont get this occurrence. I was smooth sailing just until the other day. I think you can help me. Right, the going back and back to try and figure it out. I think the alcohol is the issue? I dont care and want to gp back to Friday
Love that you shine a light on this. I struggle with this at the moment. Had a memory popping up about me in a situation, was scared but came to the conclusion it wasn't a horrible act. But then OCD questions my intentions. And it proposes I had the wrong intentions and it feels so real. Like I wanna confess to it. But it goes against my beliefs and what I want in life, normally I wouldn't pursue what the mind is telling me I did. It's hell. I keep confessing to myself to see how it feels. I also had the other type where the memories aren't based on a real event. They were easier to let go off.
I’m so happy to find this video, I have been suffering from false memory OCD for awhile now. I thought I was crazy, I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it. It consumes me and my life. It is so hard to turn it off, but sometimes I feel like I’m drowning. I am so happy to have subscribed.
Its so hard because your brain makes you believe that in your case it's not OCD, in your case it COULD be real! It's terrifying because I live in fear my false memories will turn out to be true even though I have absolutely no evidence for them. I have no clue what my previous motives were even if I know I'm a good person now, it scares me to not be able to recollect how I felt when I was younger. I have memories of feeling extremely guilty but don't recall about what so my mind guesses really dark conclusions :(
@@aloalo3727 I'm glad you relate, i'm so sorry you're going through this too, its horrible. My GP prescribed me with ssris and I can't tell you how much it helps, maybe something to consider ?
@@emmawhitfield6921 I did take ssri for a short while. I realized that I would just have to accept the fact of my thoughts also. I rejected the thoughts over and over again and they decreased greatly. Now I just wonder about why I was thinking those thoughts.....was I crazy? Of course only crazy people ask if their crazy 🤣🤣🤣 it goes on and on
This is very helpful. Ive always had very intrusive ocd thoughts as well as anorexia but in the last year Im getting terrible False Memory OCD, some memories completely made up and then some memories from the past completely changed from true and what actually happened into false memories around the event even though at the time I never had these false memories at all, and I have spent so much time checking and seeking reassurance I am.making things worse and the false memories are becoming more ingrained. I have also started having a bit of real event OCD about things I actually did decades ago that I never dwelled on before, so now I am dealing with Real event OCD, anorexia and False memory OCD with so many compulsions, I feel so very tired. Thank you for making these videos so I feel less alone and a little hopeful
@SOPHIE my heart goes out to you, its very hard. Im going for counselling soon, please God it will help. Ill let you know if it is. Keep fighting this awful illness
They are the luckiest people in the world... I was never diagnosed with OCD, but what I have been experiencing lately, are the exact symptoms of OCD. I didn’t tell this to my mom, because I don’t want sound like a crazy person. I just hope it will pass. No to this day knows that I might have OCD. But I will manege it somehow, it’s ok.
I have this where I keep reflecting on past events and am terrified I have done something horrible or made some awful mistake, like have I cheated on my boyfriend or have I molested someone and not remembered. It so exhausting and scary and I cannot distinguish what is real which brings on this massive wave of crushing guilt. No amount of reassurance helps and I feel like I need to know everything. It's like I can logically say it out loud but it never changes the fear and guilt I feel. It gets to the point where I don't want to be here anymore bc I feel so much fear and pain. It's like I'm going insane bc one minute I'll be absolutely okay and the next I will "remember" and it will spiral. Or an event I do have recollection of suddenly becomes terrifying because I suddenly feel like I did something wrong when previously I had no worry about it at all like a detail will come up I previously didn't think of and now it feels really really real. I'm just so tired. How can I fix this bc these thoughts go against everything I stand for and all my morals and so I terrifies me there may be a possibility I've done something awful.
I'm going through the same & i tried all possible ways of reassurance including Regression Therapy. But it didn't really help much. Because I myself can't differentiate what's true & what's my imagination because the visualisation and every detail looks so very real that I can't deny at all. I keep digging into it to get more details and what comes up scares me. I wake up in the middle of the night either scared and shivering or sweating. It literally kills me. I have almost lost hopes in life & i strongly believe i don't deserve the love I'm getting from my family.
I completely in every way relate to this and have been struggling so badly with it at the moment to the point I have been suicidal I just pray you’re doing better now and if not then I hope both of us can make it through this and live good lives
@@crescentmoongirl Ive had false ocd for a long time but have been able to live ok for a year or so. I find there’s something that triggers it or it just comes back to me every couple years. This maybe a couple weeks ago I had gotten a pretty bad intrusive thought that I worried I did something thing wrong and I obsessed over it for about a whole day, just agonizing whether it was true. Maybe the next day I woke up, went to work and was still think and obsessing over it when I got an even worse intrusive thought in my head that eventually triggers some of my past false memories I used to deal with. I feel completely at my lowest, and I have no idea who I am right now. I have no one to confide in, no one to help me and it’s painful to hear that I just have to accept uncertainty. What if I’m secretly just in denial and i actually did do the things my mind says I did? I can’t live like this, I can’t
I am going through the same thing. I don't know what to do, I keep getting new thoughts about different topics of things I think I've done and I am at a point where I feel like I must be a monster. I am so lost.
Hi Nathan! Your videos have really helped me to gain a little perspective on my situation. I have real event/false memory OCD, among many other themes of OCD but currently this is my most troubling. My OCD was triggered by a nightmare and then I began to obsessively search for any proof of its realness. When I couldn’t find anything concrete I began to ruminate on a real event (a huge mistake I made at the age of 12). My anxiety on the whole topic spiraled out of control to the point where I had so many false memories and tainted real memories I became convinced that I could be living a double life unconsciously and it’s definitely been the scariest time of my entire life feeling so unsure of myself/my past. Thank you for sharing this incredibly helpful information, I look forward to more especially around this topic.
I'm currently going through it right now, and it's rough. My False Memory OCD is connected to POCD, and it's scary for me along with Real Event OCD. I know deep down it's a false memory, but it still scares me, and I kept thinking "What if it's real?" And it still freaks me out. I had three meltdowns recently on Friday, Saturday, and today, and it's just frustrating. But whatever happens, I will fight.
i feel you! sending you lots of love & energy, we got this. at least through these videos we know that we aren't alone. cause sometimes that's what makes it so exhausting for me; not to be able to really explain to my people what I am going through... not even my therapist gets it...
“What if it’s real?”, well “maybe it is, maybe it’s not”. Live with the uncertainty and thoughts are just thoughts, don’t let it change you or hold you back. Wish you a good day man.
@@Fugorsrrs358im confused if your comment was an ocd thought or it’s actually real but it sounds like you’re trying to get a reassurance so i don’t know dude
I realise I've been giving into my compulsions a lot lately, ruminating and mentally checking. The hardest thing is my obsessions centre around harm ocd and POCD. Lately my mind threw out an insidious theory, "what if you molested your little brother when you were younger?" which is a very hard thing to 'accept' (even in ocd terms) and let slide. I also have a job that provides me ample time for working alone/ruminating. Just when I am on the edge of leaving the thought alone, ocd keeps changing the goalposts. When I say," well even if it happened, I was a child too" then my ocd challenges me with something like 'you wouldn't accept it if you were 18/19 tho...' it's so exhausting. I feel horrible about something I didn't even do. I find myself looking up sex offenders in the news or planning for some unforeseen doomsday when I'll be thrown in jail. Its not even a real life memory that's been distorted, just a vague what if fear that's cemented in my mind as reality. I honestly don't know how to go on rn.
I can _so_ relate to this. My OCD symptoms were largely under control until Covid-19 hit. With so much time alone, the ruminations came back in spades -- and things I hadn't worried about in literally years popped up with fierce urgency. You are definitely not alone.
I am at work right now crying my eyes out. This is horrible....I am really working on not being perfect. I create false scenarios to where I believe it's true, and that it actually happened when I know deep down it's false. I recheck things as well...it's horrible. Perfectionism is my main cause of this mental illness.
Thank you so much for this. I have been extremely obsessed over memories that I am not sure what really happened and some of it feels like no, there is no way I did that but why do I remember some parts and I remember parts of the same memory in different ways. Then I feel like i manufacture my memories and I feel even worse.
So the core message is “ Live with that uncertainty” Let the chips fall where they may so to speak. But this entails an encounter with all kinds of negative feelings. I guess the goal is to experience all those feelings rather than doing compulsions that would make us feel better.
I just feel like I can't live with the uncertainty 🥺 I'm driving my boyfriend crazy about it and I feel so bad . It's like there no evidence I did this thing but my mind keeps thinking what if
@@DogMommy. I feel you. But always remember that the "what if" that seems to trouble you so much is a mere excuse for the painful feelings to come up. Ride them out as if you had chosen them. Experience your pain and live your life through it. You will get better ! Never lose faith
@@jesse8737 The point is that it's not possible to "fix" the past this way or the other when faced with uncertainty. Checking and rumination don't change the fact but make it worse. We just have to remain uncertain at some level right? If the idea keeps coming back, we just say to ourselves "I don't know" how to deal with it and just keep doing what needs to be done as much as we can.
Does anyone else ever get so tired of dealing with it that they get to like a “breaking point” where fir a few days they just feel numb and dead inside? Like no emotions, blank stares kinda thing? Like no matter how bad the thoughts are they just feel to tired or numb to deal with it? I hope I’m not the only one. And do any of you ever question your answers? Like when I say something like “I regret these thoughts” or, “I regret things that I’ve done in my past” my brain is split 50/50. One part says that “I obviously I do”, and the other part says “but do I really though?” It’s scary dealing with it.
the 50/50 part is so accurate, sometimes i feel like my brain is split in half. like my morals and my actual memories i know of and then the other part is the complete opposite of my morals, my intrusive thoughts and false memories
I've been facing the same situations repeatedly from last 2 months. I'm tired now, today when I was sitting in the classroom I kept wondering about a sentence I mistakenly said to my best friend, one side of me kept feeling guilty and pressurised and the other side of brain was like it's not your fault your friend must be more understanding and be free and all .I broke out of these thoughts and tears started falling out of my eyes and idk what sudden numbness like emotional numbness no feelings for anyone and constantly proving me wrong and a voice was playing in my mind automatically if you didn't prove yourself wrong then I'll prove your best friend wrong and I'm afraid to lose my best friend so I kept listening it whatever the cruel thoughts kept saying about me,it even made me feel regret for the mistakes I never did and also for my good and pure intentional deeds by saying that you are all fake and the worst person your friend loves you so much and you do this or that to that person ( but in reality by God's sake I never ever did anything wrong to my best friend 😔 I always have a pure intention for that person 😔 . And these thoughts kind of trying to take me away from my friend and I love that person so much and I just feel like dying but I can't bcs my friend has no other person rather than me to talk of heart 😔 I allow these thoughts to make me feel bad about myself for the things I never did with any wrong intentions so that they don't make me feel bad about my best friend 😔. everything was just fine around 6-7 months ago suddenly I don't know what this happened to me 😔. please God heal me for my best friend 😔. And there is lot more happening in my daily life ( fake scenarios,harm ocd , unwanted thoughts, guilt, sometimes I'm able to come out of this icd cycle but for not more than 1-2 days but again it all starts by becoming even more hard and pressurising. I'm just 16 and it's a lot for me and just can't handle it). Sometimes I can't even cry to take out my pain just bcs of numbness.
@@rudrak.j.2936 unfortunately still struggling and dealing with severe depression and anxiety. It suckd. And been trying so hard to find friends but with little to no luck unfortunately which also stings real bad. How are you doing?
I have this and it’s terrifying my brain would sometimes create traumatic memories that never happened. For example- I have this memory of almost falling of a building but I can’t tell if it actually happened or not.
You said exactly what I had been experiencing recently. I couldn’t figure it out for a whole year what it was until I heard about it then researched the issue. I had come across your video and wanted to thank you for pointing it out. I also appreciate how you explain it in a good way and put in many examples about it, because it helped me to understand more about it, since my brain takes a while to understand topics. I’m now seeking help because the issue had been bothersome for a while. I like watching the videos since it’s giving me an exact understanding of the issues I had been dealing with.
I had desperately bad false memories before going for CBT some years back. And by desperate I mean the most disgusting, taboo, demented type of ideas. It was great when I learned to realize what they were with CBT. It does get better!
Thanks for making this video! When I was first struggling with OCD I looked to youtube and didn't find much useful content. I would've loved to see something like this when I first started experiencing False Memory OCD! I was looking up videos on False Memory OCD to see if anything new was posted out of curiosity. I struggled with False Memory OCD for a couple years. Before that I struggled with Real Event OCD- my brain took real events that were just awkward things and made me feel like I was a monster- I was really just an awkward person who just was adjusting to adult life. But my OCD twisted awkward events/experiences into me thinking I was a bad person. The reality was that I just had a hard time adjusting to adult life. But I would spend hours obsessing over things I said or did that didn't really matter/ didn't have a negative impact on other people. When False Memory OCD kicked in is when I really couldn't deal with my OCD. Things after that point got to be unmanageable. The false memories were crippling. I either ate way to much or not at all, my sleeping patterns were awful, I couldn't focus on anything but my OCD, I had to leave college and my internship for several months, and I couldn't work. I eventually went back to college and graduated on time but I still struggled to do everyday tasks. After I graduated I ended up moving home and I eventually began seeing a therapist that specialized in OCD treatment. Before that I was seeing therapists who weren't equipped to treat OCD so I had very little progress. When I started experiencing false memory OCD I was put on multiple medications only one of which I take today. It really helps me to get restful sleep which helps to manage my OCD. Then I started taking a medication that wasn't for my mental health but ended up really helping reduce my symptoms by about 90-95%. Along with the new medication and ERP therapy I healed. Healing is possible. It's also rough, mentally taxing, and takes time. To those of you experiencing False Memory OCD, know that you are not alone and that it's important to seek out help as soon as possible.
Thank you for making this video! I am definitely going to share this with my family and friends. Sometimes they are being curious and want to know more about OCD and what it is like which can be really difficult to explain... Especially when I have a tendency to be a bit sneaky and get some reassurance while explaining.
Digging and digging and digging I found out my false memory was some horrible dream I had 10 years back or so. It just stayed dormant in my head. Man... the mind is scary, how many people are impressioned on false witnesses.
I have pure o, and recently I recalled a memory about me being alone with a girlfriend in a bathroon while she was throwing up because she was drunk, I remeber kissing her after she finished(we had kissed before she threw up, and even made out a few months before that) I have to say this worrying feeling started more than a year AFTER that took place, I felt so bad about kissing a drunk girl, then my mind started putting these thoughts about me rapping her with my fingers and breast grabbing, it got so intense I could not control it at all, so I started asking for forgiveness to her like 5 times everytime I came up with a new thought, this video really helped me my brother, you were born to save lives and that's the only fact in my memory that I will never doubt.
Hey know you are not a bad person, bad people don't feel guilt and remorse to their actions. I am not saying if this is true. But I am glad you are on the steps to recovery 😊
We should do a huge event where every single person in the world struggling with ocd , anxiety and depression can assist.. We would definitely feel better supporting each other!!!
Yeh False Memory OCD is possibly the most f'd up type of OCD. I once change the diapers of my son and as soon as I left the room I had this image in mind that I fondled him. Somehow I knew it wasn't true but I knew my OCD would torture me with that. I can't get this image out of my head, even though I'm doing ERP on it. Like how can you accept that you possibly molested your own child??
Thanks for sharing! There is a difference between "accepting" and "ACCEPTING" -- accepting in the OCD sense means you're just agreeing with the thoughts taking all power and value away from them. Say, "sure, cool, I guess if you are telling me this happened than great!" It's not resisting or trying to figure it out. This is the key. 😃
OCD and Anxiety yes I know, it's soo painful though - because I accept the thought and it also disappears often. But then I'm like "BUT WHAT IF YOU ACTUALLY DID IT?" - also I did so many compulsions on it, that I fear I can never get distance to this thought
Yes it’s hard, idk I have this memory of scaring my little sister while she was in the shower. But I never remembered it until I started having intrusive thoughts. Like it wasn’t even in my brain. But then it got me thinking what if you wanted to look at her, what if you wanted to see her. And I’ve never had the thoughts, intentions, or desires to do so. But I’m like what if you did. And I asked her about it and she say she doesn’t even remember. But it didn’t even happen a long time ago. So I’m so worried. I care too much about my sister so it’s even worse. But like I’ve never intentionally done anything to hurt her like that. But still. What if I did but I didn’t know it.
THIS IS THE BEST VIDEO I HAVE SEEN SO FAR. It’s been a year I have been creating false memory scenarios which I can’t even recall of 4-5 years ago and my mind makes up new things and new scenarios which I know never happened because I have 0 evidence for it but it makes me check people’s phones and I BELIEVE MY MIND THAT IT IS SO TRUE: i check people’s phones, their intentions, i check everything’ and it’s a never ending cycle. THANKS TO YOU FOR MAKING THIS VIDEO. You EXPLAINED EVERYTHING IN DETAIL. I should just start accepting whatever I have done in the past and I SHOULDNT RECALL. HAVE TO TAKE THAT RISK!!!!
Ehy man, very good video. I find myself a lot in this video. I know that I didn't harm anyone in the past but my brain wants to convince me that I did from the question "what if". So I started thinking and thinking again and I created images in my mind and it's like by brain believes them and that's terrible for me. It's like the brain created a movie. It makes me feel that I am a bad person, when I'm not. This happens also when I think "what if someone did harm to me, for example when I sleep?" and the brain creates images again. I feel terribly guilty. I let them go but sometimes they come again with great power and the brain believes them, that's crazy. They seem real, like a memory, but they're not because I created them from a fear, so... And I know that I didn't do anything but my brain wants to convince me with that terrible thoughts that change everyday. Thank you so much for what you do. Blessings
The most terrible thing is thinking you did something horrendous or you skipped doing something important like taking medicine etc. It's hell. People sleep on mental issues but pure ocd is a literal nightmare the anxiety is unbearable.
I don't think I have this exact OCD but I do suffer from various different types of other OCDs but the way you explain is so good that I feel I can actually understand the mindset of someone who is actually suffering from false memory OCD. Thing is I've watched your other videos r regarding the OCDs I suffer from, and you explain so well! Thanks!!!
I’m really struggling here. I don’t even know anymore ☹️ sometimes it feels real and sometimes it feels like it was a dream but whatever it is it’s slowly killing me 🥲
This is the worst ocd breakdown I’ve ever had, I was so scared to watch anything to do ocd because I think what if I don’t relate, but what if I’m different. I’m convinced I’ve done something terrible when I was drunk and I didn’t remember. But this has calmed me down for now x I just am so scared to live the uncertainty of it all, I’m scared to be that disgusting horrible person that would do such terrible things.
ive been dealing with this constantly. except a much more severe and terrible thoughts. I know its all in my head but sometimes the brain can trick us into guilt when nothing even happened. thank you so much
This is my brother! He’s schizophrenic and is constantly remembering horrible things that he never did. He’s turned himself in to the police so many times. If I tell him it never happened, he thinks I’m lying to him.
this was really helpful and the way you explained it was really easy to understand and makes me feel a lil better about how I've been feeling, thank you! :-)
@@ocdandanxiety can I ask a question this I have been smoking weed for 8 years then one day I was walking home and this extreme fear and paranoid and anxiety just hit me my vision went blank and since then I have not been the same and since then I keep getting false memories is this normal also the doctor told me I have Dp is this normal
This is all from the fear and anxiety. It’s like when you want to remember a situation with every little detail, but you cannot remember everything so detailed, and then you get this intrusive thought, that you might have done something horrible that day, but you are not sure if you really did that or you are just confusing something. The problem is that, you yourself are not sure if you really did that or not. You say to yourself, “what if I did that, but it slipped out of my mind, and now I don’t remember it.” Just the fear that you might have done something like that, gives you images of you doing that thing, ( even if you didn’t do it in real life ) I am not a crazy person, trust me, but I know that I sound like a crazy person. So my question to you is, how to remember an event, exactly and really how it occurred. I wasn’t always like this, I don’t when I started behaving this way, but I am 1,000,000% sure that I wasn’t always like this. Please give me answers.
@@JL-zx2ul I think people who have really done harm are not even concerned for a moment about these things how long and how exactly did you start worrying about that? i can told you how i start this i had a nightmare and after i start to worry about the posibility that the nightmare was reality or something happend in the past ,something like that
About a 2 weeks ago I started having really bad OCD out of no where And it scares me because I have almost every form of it but your videos really helped me understand what it is and how it really works and how to deal with it
Great video, I had an episode of false memory OCD 20 years ago and it went away. Unfortunately it's come back (the same intrusive thought/idea) and it's terrifying. I'm getting CBT therapy very soon but I might try the 'I don't care' technique in the meantime. Thanks.
I suffer with this every day and its worst when your brain starts to ruminate about a thought from before. But gotta stay strong, remember what matters is the here and now - the present. As Tommy Shelby once said, "The past is in the past. The past is not my concern."
its really hard to convice yourself like "i know i didnt said that but it feels like i did said that." it makes me sooo paranoid like i feel like someones going to betray me. ive been struggling depression and severe anxiety before this(ocd) strike. im so streesed out and its controlling my life and everything. im so tired and scared everyday. help me
Hey, I understand. I was in that place once. about 2 years ago I was doing hundreds if not over a thousand rituals a day. there was no me left. I was hopeless, depressed, & constantly suicidal. I’m not reply with that to say “it’s always going to be that way”- I actually want to tell you the opposite. I know it may be hard to believe now, but it will get better. With a LOT of treatment & choice & growth I went from literally constantly doing rituals, sleeping 12+ hours, sometimes a whole day, hitting my head 100 times in a row several times a day. Like I said there wasn’t any me left. My parents would say “We just want to old Claire back.” It’s not that there was a time where I didn’t have OCD, but until I was 11-12 it was my normal. I thought every body thought & felt the same & “played” the “silly games” i did. And, at the time, the OCD was allowing me to “cope effectively” with life. Then a couple of years later OCD began controlling me more than I was controlling it. I was using it to cope anymore, It was using me to destroy. My point is I went from my lowest place that I described above to a place I never thought would be possible. It still doesn’t feel real sometimes. In recent months OCD hasn’t been as huge of a piece of my life. On really good days/weeks I may only give in to a handful of rituals. And even on bad days/weeks now I know how to use my tools & I truly believe that there is life beyond OCD. That I had the choice to say no. To do the thing afraid. It will get better, it may take a while, it may feel like nothing will ever change. But remember those are FEELINGS. Feelings can be valid AND still not be truth. I see your comment was almost a year ago. I hope you are doing well. If you haven’t already, and have the means to do so, I would highly suggest connecting with an OCD therapist who does ERP. There are also intensive programs that accelerate progress and have more support. Facing OCD is scary as heck- one of the scariest things I’ve ever had to do- BUT it will be worth it. You will be able to cope. You will feel better & be happy. You will find hope. It will not overcome you, as long as you choose to get up each day to fight it. Your best is all that is needed. If I didn’t choose to fight OCD it would have ended me, but it didn’t. Again, I hope you’re well & have sought out help. You’re never ever alone!!
Jaja moto same here.I am struggling every day.I was a brilliant student and now I am nothing but a loser.I have lost interest in everything at 22 yrs of age.i had depression in teenage and as a result this ocd developed.Filthy thoughts which are not true crosses my brain daily and I am helpless...Someone plz help me if they know how to manage it
I’ve been having an intrusive thought that I cheated on my fiancé sometime in the past 3 years without remembering. It got to the point where I reached out to literally EVERY guy in my past and asked them if that happened, and they all said no, but I can’t believe them for some reason. It’s so terrifying. It got to the point where I almost broke up with my fiancé bc I was convinced I cheated on him. This video is so close to what I’ve actually experienced and it makes me feel a little less alone.
I’m sitting here blown away, like a lightbulb going on. I’ve never been able to describe this to my therapist. I’m 46, healthy male, great career and family but I’ve had some form of ocd and horrible anxiety since my earliest memories. The ocd symptoms rotate from checking doorknob handles and other things I won’t mention (afraid of triggering others). But by far this false memory part has been the worst, it’s more than awful. I’m just discovering this but thank you for the video. And thank you for the commenters, Im not alone.
Yes its false memories of very very untrue false things. That make us believe it happened as we may lost our memory, it can be very disturbing disgusting stuff.
I'm hearing this a lot in the comment section, and I must ask as well- what happens if your ocd makes you unsure as to whether or not you did something bad or not? How can you just let this stuff go, or how can you learn how to deal with the uncertainty?
This is probably one of the toughest things I’ve ever dealt with in my life because it’s hard to tell what the truth is. I feel like deep down I know I didn’t do what my mind makes me think I did, but I fear that maybe I’m just in denial and don’t know how to deal with it. This is one of the most difficult times of my life, I would never wish ocd on anyone
this is the worst thing that could happen to me, moments that i know o havent done something bad to people. But my brain keeps telling me that i did and i try to fight and find every detail. But cant, have even one memory from when i was kid. Thanks to you I've learn how to handle it, and with my psykolog.
you know what these comments are quite enough evidence to make me convinced that I really have OCD, and this confirms for me that's my thoughts are not real, I guess it's time to be satisfied
This was from a couple weeks ago, but I had this thought one day because I saw a girl in the same bus I took to college, and I recognised her and remembered that we used to hang out and at times just mess around and play fight like kids do. However, I was reminiscing and thought "what if I touched her inappropriately and wanted it, done that and just forgotten it?" I remember how bad that affected me that day and for a couple weeks before I realised how ridiculous of me it would've been. I know I wouldn't do such a thing, but I thought "what if I did, she remembers and told people." I got very anxious and extremely paranoid. I didn't want to be seen in public and just wanted to hide. I couldn't eat properly nor concentrate. I wanted to ask her something like "when we used to mess around before, have I ever made you feel uncomfortable?" I wanted to ask (never did) because I was desperate for the closure and to make sure I'm a good person. It's a bastard when the memory you remember had happened and you know it did, but then OCD warps it and puts an extra memory in to fuck with my head. It made me want to commit suicide, but now I'm getting help. I've been suffering with this for years and it has gotten to the point where I am now bed bound, not eating, not sleeping and staying at home when I should be in college. But, no. My own fucking mind just ruins me. Now, I'm getting the help I need and so grateful.
I have dealt with this to an extreme extent ever since a drunken/blurry night out that led to me and my friend getting jumped. I constantly worry about what i might have done that night to the point where it has caused me EXTREME depression and anxiety and messed up my life in so many ways.
This is literally the worst! I’m such a “girls girl” and love to chat but I IMMEDIATELY regret because I can’t remember everything I’ve said to a t. It’s so exhausting and makes me want to record EVERYTHING! It’s nice to be able to come back to these videos to remind me that it’s just a part of my OCD.
@@ocdandanxietyI am from Pakistan I am suffering from I went to do CA but due to OCD I came back to home please help me you are the only one to help me
Idk if I have OCD or not, but I have a lot of the symptoms and I’ve been look for a therapist for it. The thing is, I have this memory that has been coming in and out and I always believed it was real and was deeply guilty for it because it felt so real and it has details but at the same time when I think of it I can’t think of how it happened, and millions of images and possibilities flow into my head and I don’t know which one is real or which scenario is real and when I try to think of the least worse scenario my brain tells me it’s fake and I’m denial of being a bad person. Anyway, I looked into this and it makes sense, I’ve been having compulsion of confessing or confirming if it was wrong or right or different or something. But it feels so real that I’m now, as I write this that it was real, it felt very real but I don’t know how it happened specifically, it’s like I have some pieces of a puzzle and the other ones are missing. It’s very confusing and makes me really question. Edit: I think since I didn’t know what false memory was I just accepted that it was real and never said a “what if” but then again what if I’m just in denial? I don’t really know I feel like I may be going insane.
I'm so glad I'm not the only one going through this. It's like just weeks ago i knew the truth but then my mind started going what if and now I'm stuck and can't stop thinking about it. It's so hard 😭😭
.. I know I have OCD and several forms of it too.. I never knew it had a name untill recently. That last strategy you just named of attacking the OCD by just telling your brain "Yes, I did that, all of it! And not just that, I probably did worse!" repeatedly last night and that was scary as hell. But it calmed down after first going haywire for a minute because I was so afraid of doing that. Because even doing that at first made me feel extremely guilty and crazy. My brain felt like extreme fog was increasing for a while. But after a minute, or few minutes (felt like eternity) exactly what you said here happened. My brain started responding with the "No way.. Hey? What are you saying, what are you doing?! You are not like that at all..".. Like everything I was trying to tell my brain when it was telling me I did that horrible thing, now it started doing the opposit and started telling ME what I had been trying to tell IT before, combating these uncertain memories.. it now started reassuring me, producing relaxation in my body within minutes. I did that excersize after seeing a video about this strategy by someone else suffering from OCD and I gathered all my courage and said fk it! I am going insane anyways so fk it! But it worked and gave me some peace compared to how I felt before.. for at least a few hours after. On another note: It has made me look at my brain and its functions differently. Much more like it's an organ that can influence me than identifying completely as my brain beeing "me".. I really never looked at it that way.. *Edit: Tried this again today, but I think doing it in a frustrated way is not good. Try in the way this man in the video explains. Not like me because I was really mad with my brain.. And it did not help like that. I felt like my dad had been screaming at me..
I don’t know if I have false memory or Real event memory, because I know something happened but I kept ruminating about details that kept changing a bit and now I’m scared that the whole memory might be false or that main facts changed, the memory is about my false ocd arousal that happened few times and it was very traumatic 😭
I've been struggling with this but for me it's the worst kind of thoughts - I'm terrified that I may have sexually abused my younger brother and/or had sexual thoughts and fantasies involving him. I don't remember any of these things actually happening but the fact that the thoughts about what I think happened are so specific makes me wonder if they did. I also worry that I'm just telling myself they're false memories because they're actually true and I don't want to accept it
I also dealt with false memories and it was so hard!!!! I had one that scared the fuck outta me bc if it was true I would be in serious trouble but I thought very deep about it and realized that it's so unlikely that this has very happened. If it happened I wouldn't have forgotten that since I was 12/13. I still get scared sometimes but I know that they're false memories You can try to think about it deeper to see if they're realistic. Mine werent
@@unknownuser4879 mine is the exact same as yours. I want to say that it was very unlikely it happened which I really hope it was and I am not using this as an excuse. It's really difficult for me to try and get a answer. I know somewhere I didn't do it
@@Ezkvlra I seeked reassurance and eveyone told me that I did NOTHING wrong. I had false memory and contacted a friend who I didn't even have contact to. She couldn't remember anything and I feel bad for asking her out of nowhere. It scares me. I'm scared I might have said manipulating things. But I'm better now. Better than two months ago bc I've accepted that it's OCD. Some days are hard some are better. You've got this
I’m going through this right now but instead I got drunk and everyone told me I didn’t leave the apartment but my mind tells me I escaped through the window to go molest someone
I'm not diagnosed with OCD , but this has been happening since yearss with me . At this point , i don't even know what memory possessed by me is actually true :(
This is so helpful. Tysm... I was diagnosed with schizophrenia 8 years ago and have been on some serious medication because of it, but I'm realizing it more like this, false memory OCD. The medication has definitely helped (risperidone) but it makes me feel really dull and not fun and made me gain 60 pounds. My false memories tend to escalate though, like if this memory is true then most likely people are out to get revenge and on you and try to kill you... I don't know if that crosses the line into a more serious mental illness. I don't see or hear things that arent there. I just tend to believe things that aren't true about my past.
This type of OCD tortures me. Funny thing is alot of the time I drink to escape it but in the long run drinking and false memory OCD is not a good mix. I hate this mental illness. You can't run from your own brain
I was never diagnosed with OCD, but recently a lot of videos with therapists talking about OCD yave been coming up on my TH-cam and i find it interesting so ive been watching them, and a lot tof the time, i fond them relateable and i didnt even realize i was doing half of the things the cideos say until im aware those arent normal. I think os hould get it checked out.
God bless you so much sir you have provided me with so much help with your videos I’ve been struggling with these memories to the point where I’ve been trying to figure out all these past memories to try and get reassurance. OCD is a terrible monster
Thank you for this video. I know that the solution is stopping ruminating about it but how can You just live with the thought that you could have hurt someone and just don’t care. I mean I know we’ll never get the answer but it’s just so hard to live with the uncertainty that you could be a monster. I can’t overcome this point...
Yes! THIS!!! I think “will I be an evil person if I can just not care that I could have hurt someone? Like evil people don’t care, so if I don’t care I must be evil. Will that mean I don’t have a conscience. And if I -choose- to not care I must be super evil because there are probably some evil people that don’t have consciences and at least they have an excuse, but I’m making a choice. I don’t want to be evil. But I must be. What if evil people have this type of ocd. I don’t want to be like them.” Like this illness is not a cakewalk.
I've been a refugee for the last 7 years, but not just a normal type of refugee. We've been held in Indonesia so we could be a lesson for others so no one ever comes here. I had some traumatic events in my past life. Living in here added to that. At some point I knew I had mental disorders. I visited a doctor and it turned out I had PTSD. What I didn't know was that false memories were a thing too. I had arguments with people over details of events. Finally, I learnt that my mind was deceiving me into believing the details it created. So, in the end, I just accepted anything anyone was telling me, because maybe they were right. But things escalated, and I began to reveal secrets that I shouldn't have. To me, they were ordinary things whether I said or someone else told me. To the other person who actually told me that... Gosh, so many accusations, so many embarrassing moments, my life is a living hell. This put me in a way harder situation that I was already. A lot of people just began to keep their distance from me because either they couldn't rely on me anymore or they were afraid. I already knew people didn't like freaks because of my PTSD. I am looking for some cure, but the doctor told me disorders are incurable. With all these difficulties, I just hope more and more people knew about this. Maybe then they weren't so quick to judge.
Oh my gosh. For YEARS I’ve suffered in anguish at times trying to accurately recall something horrific I fear I’ve done in the past... I can’t fathom how in logical actuality but I have never been able to shake this very foggy and butchered “ memory “….I am also in recovery and spend the last 20 years of my like often blacked out and or totally disoriented from alcohol, including when this “ happened “. It’s gotten so bad I can almost recall trying to cover up the evidence the next day. It’s just not possible though I could never live with myself. It makes me feel crazy and honestly incapable of functioning at times because of the guilt and shame and fear. I’ve tried to look up false memories before but I never know this was an actual syndrome. I do have ocd and ptsd from childhood. I feel like watching this was a gift from God for some peace… finally.
@@ElizabethGonzalez-jt7ns I’m So so sorry that you’re dealing with this internal torment and understand. I will pray for your peace and healing and freedom from the lies.
@@ElizabethGonzalez-jt7ns I understand… remember the Evil powers that be will take our WORST fears … and manipulate us. All they need is one tiny slice of truth and all of our fears to torment us. Pray for The Lord to take away the lies. Stay in touch if you want to and let me know how you’re doing ok
My OCD makes me have "memories" of me doing some super weird and gross things with my friend, and any time I see him, I immediately think of the "memories" and begin wondering if I should ask him if it happened. My problem is the fear of him saying yes, and remembering all of it. What's worse is that the "memories" all feel so real, as real as if they happened yesterday. Can any of you guys relate to any of this, and what do you guys think?
Yes I can relate.....I have blocked people on my cell phone because I just knew they were going to tell me whatever it was I did...... cheating on husband.... girl on girl..... having whorish intentions..... committing the unpardonable sin..... whatever it is yes
Don't ask them if it happened. U will embarrass yourself..... trust me I know and when u come to your senses u will realize how terrifying this disease really is
@@Ezkvlra I believe in God and Jesus. Christianity has been americanized and so far from reality I couldn't follow. I read the bible and that is what I believe
I had a dream last night that I asked my friend if it happened, and my worst fears became a reality... in that dream. It was the worst feeling I've ever felt in a very long time, and now I'm even more scared than before...
I need help. My mind is messing up all my memories into horrifying things. It's telling me that I did things that I know I didn't do. I've not been diagnosed with anything because mental health is not a thing over here. I'm so tired I know I didn't do these things but now I don't know
I just stop paying attention to it. It was hard to ignore it at first but once I started to ignore it my OCD just started getting weaker and weaker. It was hard and I never completely got rid of my OCD but it's so weak now that I can hardly hear it now. Please ask for help and newer give up. If I defited my OCD so can you defite your's. It won't be easy but please for your good ask for help and never give up and youl be OK just like I am now. You can defite your OCD. I believe in you. 🙂
@@heavenlyanimationstudio2257 😊😊😊😊😊you're the best Thank you so much for all of this I'll do my best I'll heed your advice 🥰🥰 All the best to you as well❤❤
I usually get some flashes from my past and if I don't remember everything that happened in it I must think it through all the way, and then I can get relief and move on. It's daily thing to me and its really frustrating.
thank you so much for this video. i really needed this ive been to therapy and to be honest not one of them have metioned false memories im trying to cope but its hard because you think you did or said things that are horrible. ive going to people in the pasrt asking if this happened and they say no. there all so horrible. there even starting to come up in my recent life like things that happpebed only 4 months ago. i collect details that i remeber and i guess create these paraniod ideas of what happened. its really hard but i think this video is right becuase i alot them i realise are to do with moral and ethics that i think i would never be that perrson but the false memories make you believe there true. i think his right about just saying "i dont care" because alot of them are untrue and its messing up my current life
I have symptoms of ROCD, and I constantly get to thinking about my past. In the beginning of our relationship I was very distance, he knows this, but at the time I made countless mistakes. I’ve confessed to many, some big some small, but now I keep finding little mistakes of “flirting” or “cheating” and creating/reminiscing false memories. My boyfriend and I are trying to work together to restore our relationship, but every other day it’s something new popping up in my head. Please help. What do I do?
I can relate to this a lot. It is frustrating because you think of the thought and feel terrible bringing it up and upsetting them when you feel it isn't even true, but keeping it in makes it worse. If you have found ways of coping I would love to hear
I once woke up crying because I thought I killed someone. I tried to search my memory and the worst thing is, even though I can't recall any memory, the doubt just goes stronger.
Do any of you ever kind of get this almost numb/dead/zombie like feeling where no matter how intrusive the thoughts are they don’t seem to bother you as much because of how worn out you are? That’s happened to me the last day or 2. It could be because the last 3-4 days were really hard, or because I got my Covid vaccination on 2 days ago. Either way I’ve totally felt dead and emotionless today. All I could think about was suicide today.
@@KingNoor2007 it’s nice to know I wasn’t the only one. I thought I was losing my mind. Literally the only thing I’ve had on my mind since Sunday was suicide and yet it didn’t bother me at all and I don’t know why. I almost picked up a knife last night and I ran into my room before I could do it. And then at the store today I almost bought a bottle of NyQuil to chug along with whiskey but I stopped myself. And yet I wasn’t really phased by it. I didn’t cry or get crippling anxiety.
I literally searched according to my symptoms and found out it is indeed real ! Living with OCD for 5 years, this memory thing is happening now for the first time.
This is one of the worst parts of my OCD ... And it's exhausting. What's worse is that I know it's in my head, but then I start to panic about things I know I didn't do and become consumed with guilt, anxiety, and frustration.
I totally agree ,the worst part is that we don’t know the details ,so it opens up possibilities for the worst things ,and that sucks
@@sashwatyo1293 same happens with me.My brain is in such bad situation that it sensationalise normal things of Past by fabricating them and I struggle whole day with guilt
@@Himachaltimes2024 it does to me too.... A lot.... I feel so guilty snd worthless after that
I also suffer of OCD , but I don’t know which one is it
@@alandscape9783 same here guyssss
Everytime I ruminate, my brain adds details or new thoughts/feelings that I never actually had, but I go into panic mode because the thoughts/feelings are terrifying. I always end up thinking "I feel guilty, so I must be guilty" it's so debilitating
Do you also get images? Of you doing something
my problem is those OCD latches on things that im already ocd about, like today i played with the AC control and i i legit have a thought now that i fucked my AC up, now that ocd made me think i will have trouble breathing until i change the AC unit completely, fuck this shit, im not gonna buy another AC again, fuck fuck fuck i just got rid of false memory ocd about phyiscal diseases and this comes, i cannot just livvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
@@DogMommy. yes unfortunately I do
This is so relatable, my OCD constantly changes the story to make it worse and more distressing and even though I know it makes no sense it just feels so real sometimes which makes it pretty impossible to not obsess over
YOU LITERALLY MIGHT HAVE JUST SAVED MY FUCKING LIFE WITH THIS!
Thank you dude. Seriously.
You're awesome! 👍🏻
Same
I've been dealing with this a lot lately and it sucks; it sucks to know that your own mind is so unreliable, and it sucks to think that you can't trust your own memories- it makes so much of life harder when you're terrified that you've already said or done something to solidify the very thing you're afraid of.
I feel for you! It's got to be so frustrating! I hope you can find some relief soon! Treatment really can help with this. 😊
@@ocdandanxiety thank u for the support! I'm definitely just taking things one day at a time, but content like yours is so helpful because it's a reminder that I'm not alone and that I can work through this
@@ΒαγιαΙακωβακη-γ5τ unfortunately no; but it varies from day to day and a lot of the time it is manageable
Has it got better?
@@DogMommy. I don't know that I'd say better per say; it's more like managing a chronic illness. There are periods of time when it's more manageable than others 💜
So grateful I found this video! I've struggled with OCD, intrusive thoughts and false memories for a while now. Just recently I thought about a memory, got intrusive thoughts about it and convinced myself I did something awful. I've thought about it 24-7 and I'm going crazy. I know I didn't do anything wrong but I still feel guilty for it. So thanks for this video! It hit spot on. I'm going to try your tips! Thanks again!!!
Thank you so much for your kind words. This means a lot to me. I am so glad that the video was able to help you. I hope that you can feel some relief soon!
Me rn
@@Ezkvlra same!!glad to know im not alone :)
@Ashton Beaman
Same here :)
I have false memory OCD for about three years. I always wonder that whether I said something disgusting and offensive to others. If I am not alone, in which case there are some people around me, I can ask them to make sure I didn’t say something inappropriate. However, when I was alone or in the public place where surrounded by unknown people, this feeling would be very strong. The urge to try to remember everything is very terrible. And I always try to find some details to prove that I did nothing wrong, like a detective.As long as I find some evidence to prove my innocence, the situation will be largely relieved. However, if there is no evidence, I will feel very frustrating. Thanks for your videos, this can rise the advocacy of this disease. I want all of the people who suffered from OCD can receive empathy and love from other people.
Thanks for sharing your experiences! It sounds very painful. I hope you can feel some relief soon! 😀
Trust me man I actually have studied law now because of my OCD and the need to “know” about If I will go in prison
Years ago I had this kinda saying inappropriate words OCD, but now it has grown to a very weird one, when I go outside alone the OCD says "did you kill a person? did you blablabla?" The bad thing is I don't have someone to ask and it's very frustrating. The only way I can do is remember and believe but I have OCD so you know...
Try to do as we always do with intrusive thoughts. We I don't know and I don't need to know
A woman gave a talk on this at a mental health group, it took her to the edge of sanity and severe depression
This video is literally a lifesaver. Time to time I watch it when my OCD is taking control, and it is 1000% helpful to watch. Thank you so much🙏🏻
this was amazing honestly the best advice because treating my OCD with humour has been a scary process but one i needed :)
I'm so glad it helped you my friend! 👍🏻
@@ocdandanxiety I had a panic attack and haven't been able to forget about it for 3 days. It wasnt a big deal at all but it caused a 2nd panic attack the next day and I have been super nervous with elevated heart rate and tension in my shoulders trying to elevate something I know was stupid. I drink, and cant lie I'd be considered an alcoholic. I think the alcohol is creating the emotional circular thinking I'm experiencing. I dont get this occurrence. I was smooth sailing just until the other day. I think you can help me. Right, the going back and back to try and figure it out. I think the alcohol is the issue? I dont care and want to gp back to Friday
Love that you shine a light on this.
I struggle with this at the moment. Had a memory popping up about me in a situation, was scared but came to the conclusion it wasn't a horrible act. But then OCD questions my intentions. And it proposes I had the wrong intentions and it feels so real. Like I wanna confess to it. But it goes against my beliefs and what I want in life, normally I wouldn't pursue what the mind is telling me I did. It's hell. I keep confessing to myself to see how it feels.
I also had the other type where the memories aren't based on a real event. They were easier to let go off.
I’m so happy to find this video, I have been suffering from false memory OCD for awhile now. I thought I was crazy, I didn’t want to talk to anyone about it. It consumes me and my life. It is so hard to turn it off, but sometimes I feel like I’m drowning. I am so happy to have subscribed.
How r u doing now because I feel like I'm loosing it 😭
@@DogMommy. how are u Doing now cuz im losing it SO BAD
@@1000bpmcan you share your story maybe I could relate
Its so hard because your brain makes you believe that in your case it's not OCD, in your case it COULD be real! It's terrifying because I live in fear my false memories will turn out to be true even though I have absolutely no evidence for them. I have no clue what my previous motives were even if I know I'm a good person now, it scares me to not be able to recollect how I felt when I was younger. I have memories of feeling extremely guilty but don't recall about what so my mind guesses really dark conclusions :(
I never even knew this was ocd.....
@@aloalo3727 maybe its not I don't know, do you struggle with this or you just don't think mine sounds like OCD?
@@emmawhitfield6921 I have struggled with this completely. I seriously suffered mentally because of this. I understand u completely.
@@aloalo3727 I'm glad you relate, i'm so sorry you're going through this too, its horrible. My GP prescribed me with ssris and I can't tell you how much it helps, maybe something to consider ?
@@emmawhitfield6921 I did take ssri for a short while. I realized that I would just have to accept the fact of my thoughts also. I rejected the thoughts over and over again and they decreased greatly. Now I just wonder about why I was thinking those thoughts.....was I crazy? Of course only crazy people ask if their crazy 🤣🤣🤣 it goes on and on
I feel like as long as I will live, this monster is going to feed on my happiness and freedom.
Hey hru doing?
This is very helpful.
Ive always had very intrusive ocd thoughts as well as anorexia but in the last year Im getting terrible False Memory OCD, some memories completely made up and then some memories from the past completely changed from true and what actually happened into false memories around the event even though at the time I never had these false memories at all, and I have spent so much time checking and seeking reassurance I am.making things worse and the false memories are becoming more ingrained.
I have also started having a bit of real event OCD about things I actually did decades ago that I never dwelled on before, so now I am dealing with Real event OCD, anorexia and False memory OCD with so many compulsions, I feel so very tired.
Thank you for making these videos so I feel less alone and a little hopeful
@SOPHIE my heart goes out to you, its very hard.
Im going for counselling soon, please God it will help.
Ill let you know if it is.
Keep fighting this awful illness
@SOPHIEpraying the counselling helps you get some relief
For those who are not facing with False Memory OCD...
You are all lucky!
They are the luckiest people in the world... I was never diagnosed with OCD, but what I have been experiencing lately, are the exact symptoms of OCD. I didn’t tell this to my mom, because I don’t want sound like a crazy person. I just hope it will pass. No to this day knows that I might have OCD. But I will manege it somehow, it’s ok.
@@JL-zx2ul no tell her it will get worst I did you need medication
@@JL-zx2ul get help cuz you will have a breakdown
Lucky in that regard, you mean. You have no way of knowing what all the rest of us might be dealing with.
I have this where I keep reflecting on past events and am terrified I have done something horrible or made some awful mistake, like have I cheated on my boyfriend or have I molested someone and not remembered. It so exhausting and scary and I cannot distinguish what is real which brings on this massive wave of crushing guilt. No amount of reassurance helps and I feel like I need to know everything. It's like I can logically say it out loud but it never changes the fear and guilt I feel. It gets to the point where I don't want to be here anymore bc I feel so much fear and pain. It's like I'm going insane bc one minute I'll be absolutely okay and the next I will "remember" and it will spiral. Or an event I do have recollection of suddenly becomes terrifying because I suddenly feel like I did something wrong when previously I had no worry about it at all like a detail will come up I previously didn't think of and now it feels really really real. I'm just so tired. How can I fix this bc these thoughts go against everything I stand for and all my morals and so I terrifies me there may be a possibility I've done something awful.
I'm going through the same & i tried all possible ways of reassurance including Regression Therapy. But it didn't really help much. Because I myself can't differentiate what's true & what's my imagination because the visualisation and every detail looks so very real that I can't deny at all. I keep digging into it to get more details and what comes up scares me. I wake up in the middle of the night either scared and shivering or sweating. It literally kills me. I have almost lost hopes in life & i strongly believe i don't deserve the love I'm getting from my family.
Wow 🥺
I completely in every way relate to this and have been struggling so badly with it at the moment to the point I have been suicidal I just pray you’re doing better now and if not then I hope both of us can make it through this and live good lives
@@crescentmoongirl
Ive had false ocd for a long time but have been able to live ok for a year or so. I find there’s something that triggers it or it just comes back to me every couple years. This maybe a couple weeks ago I had gotten a pretty bad intrusive thought that I worried I did something thing wrong and I obsessed over it for about a whole day, just agonizing whether it was true. Maybe the next day I woke up, went to work and was still think and obsessing over it when I got an even worse intrusive thought in my head that eventually triggers some of my past false memories I used to deal with. I feel completely at my lowest, and I have no idea who I am right now. I have no one to confide in, no one to help me and it’s painful to hear that I just have to accept uncertainty. What if I’m secretly just in denial and i actually did do the things my mind says I did? I can’t live like this, I can’t
I am going through the same thing. I don't know what to do, I keep getting new thoughts about different topics of things I think I've done and I am at a point where I feel like I must be a monster. I am so lost.
Hi Nathan! Your videos have really helped me to gain a little perspective on my situation. I have real event/false memory OCD, among many other themes of OCD but currently this is my most troubling. My OCD was triggered by a nightmare and then I began to obsessively search for any proof of its realness. When I couldn’t find anything concrete I began to ruminate on a real event (a huge mistake I made at the age of 12). My anxiety on the whole topic spiraled out of control to the point where I had so many false memories and tainted real memories I became convinced that I could be living a double life unconsciously and it’s definitely been the scariest time of my entire life feeling so unsure of myself/my past. Thank you for sharing this incredibly helpful information, I look forward to more especially around this topic.
hey hope things are going better for you!!
I'm currently going through it right now, and it's rough. My False Memory OCD is connected to POCD, and it's scary for me along with Real Event OCD. I know deep down it's a false memory, but it still scares me, and I kept thinking "What if it's real?" And it still freaks me out. I had three meltdowns recently on Friday, Saturday, and today, and it's just frustrating. But whatever happens, I will fight.
i feel you! sending you lots of love & energy, we got this. at least through these videos we know that we aren't alone. cause sometimes that's what makes it so exhausting for me; not to be able to really explain to my people what I am going through... not even my therapist gets it...
“What if it’s real?”, well “maybe it is, maybe it’s not”. Live with the uncertainty and thoughts are just thoughts, don’t let it change you or hold you back. Wish you a good day man.
@@beototbungong1560Is it possible to forget how you uploaded your intimate video somewhere?

@@beototbungong1560It torments me that everyone will see me
😕
@@Fugorsrrs358im confused if your comment was an ocd thought or it’s actually real but it sounds like you’re trying to get a reassurance so i don’t know dude
I realise I've been giving into my compulsions a lot lately, ruminating and mentally checking. The hardest thing is my obsessions centre around harm ocd and POCD. Lately my mind threw out an insidious theory, "what if you molested your little brother when you were younger?" which is a very hard thing to 'accept' (even in ocd terms) and let slide. I also have a job that provides me ample time for working alone/ruminating. Just when I am on the edge of leaving the thought alone, ocd keeps changing the goalposts. When I say," well even if it happened, I was a child too" then my ocd challenges me with something like 'you wouldn't accept it if you were 18/19 tho...' it's so exhausting. I feel horrible about something I didn't even do. I find myself looking up sex offenders in the news or planning for some unforeseen doomsday when I'll be thrown in jail. Its not even a real life memory that's been distorted, just a vague what if fear that's cemented in my mind as reality. I honestly don't know how to go on rn.
I can _so_ relate to this. My OCD symptoms were largely under control until Covid-19 hit. With so much time alone, the ruminations came back in spades -- and things I hadn't worried about in literally years popped up with fierce urgency. You are definitely not alone.
All I can say is, hang in there hun. OCD is one of the worst things I've ever dealt with, it's no joke.
@@mattnhormann Shit , Me too and I'm talking 10 plus years ago .
@@keithfarrell107 6 or so for me. Hang in there.
Bro I’m going through the exact same thing.
I am at work right now crying my eyes out. This is horrible....I am really working on not being perfect. I create false scenarios to where I believe it's true, and that it actually happened when I know deep down it's false. I recheck things as well...it's horrible. Perfectionism is my main cause of this mental illness.
Omg this is happening to me to . It's like im looking for a memory that don't exist . I just keep thinking and thinking about the same thing
Perfectionism is at the heart of it. Check out Mark Dejesus, an OCD coach. You need to know you are loved no matter what
@yuan1630 thank you 🙏
@DogMommy. its horrible 😢 I'm sorry...
Thank you so much for this. I have been extremely obsessed over memories that I am not sure what really happened and some of it feels like no, there is no way I did that but why do I remember some parts and I remember parts of the same memory in different ways. Then I feel like i manufacture my memories and I feel even worse.
Same
Me too I feel like while I was having a good time ocd kicked and wanted to make it seem bad
Me to I feel like I'm loosing my mind
Same!
So the core message is “ Live with that uncertainty” Let the chips fall where they may so to speak. But this entails an encounter with all kinds of negative feelings. I guess the goal is to experience all those feelings rather than doing compulsions that would make us feel better.
that's a great way to explain it. it takes a lot of practice. Do not seek for the answers.
I just feel like I can't live with the uncertainty 🥺 I'm driving my boyfriend crazy about it and I feel so bad . It's like there no evidence I did this thing but my mind keeps thinking what if
@@DogMommy. I feel you. But always remember that the "what if" that seems to trouble you so much is a mere excuse for the painful feelings to come up. Ride them out as if you had chosen them. Experience your pain and live your life through it. You will get better !
Never lose faith
@@SKRithvik thank you so much ❤️❤️ means alot
@@jesse8737 The point is that it's not possible to "fix" the past this way or the other when faced with uncertainty. Checking and rumination don't change the fact but make it worse. We just have to remain uncertain at some level right? If the idea keeps coming back, we just say to ourselves "I don't know" how to deal with it and just keep doing what needs to be done as much as we can.
Does anyone else ever get so tired of dealing with it that they get to like a “breaking point” where fir a few days they just feel numb and dead inside? Like no emotions, blank stares kinda thing? Like no matter how bad the thoughts are they just feel to tired or numb to deal with it? I hope I’m not the only one. And do any of you ever question your answers? Like when I say something like “I regret these thoughts” or, “I regret things that I’ve done in my past” my brain is split 50/50. One part says that “I obviously I do”, and the other part says “but do I really though?” It’s scary dealing with it.
the 50/50 part is so accurate, sometimes i feel like my brain is split in half. like my morals and my actual memories i know of and then the other part is the complete opposite of my morals, my intrusive thoughts and false memories
I am exhausted.
Sorry to hear man , how are you doing now ?
I've been facing the same situations repeatedly from last 2 months. I'm tired now, today when I was sitting in the classroom I kept wondering about a sentence I mistakenly said to my best friend, one side of me kept feeling guilty and pressurised and the other side of brain was like it's not your fault your friend must be more understanding and be free and all .I broke out of these thoughts and tears started falling out of my eyes and idk what sudden numbness like emotional numbness no feelings for anyone and constantly proving me wrong and a voice was playing in my mind automatically if you didn't prove yourself wrong then I'll prove your best friend wrong and I'm afraid to lose my best friend so I kept listening it whatever the cruel thoughts kept saying about me,it even made me feel regret for the mistakes I never did and also for my good and pure intentional deeds by saying that you are all fake and the worst person your friend loves you so much and you do this or that to that person ( but in reality by God's sake I never ever did anything wrong to my best friend 😔 I always have a pure intention for that person 😔 . And these thoughts kind of trying to take me away from my friend and I love that person so much and I just feel like dying but I can't bcs my friend has no other person rather than me to talk of heart 😔 I allow these thoughts to make me feel bad about myself for the things I never did with any wrong intentions so that they don't make me feel bad about my best friend 😔. everything was just fine around 6-7 months ago suddenly I don't know what this happened to me 😔. please God heal me for my best friend 😔. And there is lot more happening in my daily life ( fake scenarios,harm ocd , unwanted thoughts, guilt, sometimes I'm able to come out of this icd cycle but for not more than 1-2 days but again it all starts by becoming even more hard and pressurising. I'm just 16 and it's a lot for me and just can't handle it). Sometimes I can't even cry to take out my pain just bcs of numbness.
@@rudrak.j.2936 unfortunately still struggling and dealing with severe depression and anxiety. It suckd. And been trying so hard to find friends but with little to no luck unfortunately which also stings real bad. How are you doing?
i know i shouldn’t be seeking reassurance as much as i am but these comments are really helping me
same!
Love you man for the ease with which you explain this demon called false memory OCD. Thank you for the excellent video. The suggestions are spot on !
This means a lot! Thanks so much!
I have this and it’s terrifying my brain would sometimes create traumatic memories that never happened. For example- I have this memory of almost falling of a building but I can’t tell if it actually happened or not.
Yeah, I have those too
Omg me to 😭
You said exactly what I had been experiencing recently. I couldn’t figure it out for a whole year what it was until I heard about it then researched the issue. I had come across your video and wanted to thank you for pointing it out. I also appreciate how you explain it in a good way and put in many examples about it, because it helped me to understand more about it, since my brain takes a while to understand topics. I’m now seeking help because the issue had been bothersome for a while. I like watching the videos since it’s giving me an exact understanding of the issues I had been dealing with.
I had desperately bad false memories before going for CBT some years back. And by desperate I mean the most disgusting, taboo, demented type of ideas. It was great when I learned to realize what they were with CBT. It does get better!
Your username, custardgannet, made me laugh! ... I like custard too! 👍😋🤣
Thanks for making this video! When I was first struggling with OCD I looked to youtube and didn't find much useful content. I would've loved to see something like this when I first started experiencing False Memory OCD! I was looking up videos on False Memory OCD to see if anything new was posted out of curiosity. I struggled with False Memory OCD for a couple years. Before that I struggled with Real Event OCD- my brain took real events that were just awkward things and made me feel like I was a monster- I was really just an awkward person who just was adjusting to adult life. But my OCD twisted awkward events/experiences into me thinking I was a bad person. The reality was that I just had a hard time adjusting to adult life. But I would spend hours obsessing over things I said or did that didn't really matter/ didn't have a negative impact on other people. When False Memory OCD kicked in is when I really couldn't deal with my OCD. Things after that point got to be unmanageable. The false memories were crippling. I either ate way to much or not at all, my sleeping patterns were awful, I couldn't focus on anything but my OCD, I had to leave college and my internship for several months, and I couldn't work. I eventually went back to college and graduated on time but I still struggled to do everyday tasks. After I graduated I ended up moving home and I eventually began seeing a therapist that specialized in OCD treatment. Before that I was seeing therapists who weren't equipped to treat OCD so I had very little progress. When I started experiencing false memory OCD I was put on multiple medications only one of which I take today. It really helps me to get restful sleep which helps to manage my OCD. Then I started taking a medication that wasn't for my mental health but ended up really helping reduce my symptoms by about 90-95%. Along with the new medication and ERP therapy I healed. Healing is possible. It's also rough, mentally taxing, and takes time. To those of you experiencing False Memory OCD, know that you are not alone and that it's important to seek out help as soon as possible.
What medication did you take that helped can I ask please?
I'm happy for you. This is really comforting to read. How are you now btw??
Thank you for making this video! I am definitely going to share this with my family and friends. Sometimes they are being curious and want to know more about OCD and what it is like which can be really difficult to explain... Especially when I have a tendency to be a bit sneaky and get some reassurance while explaining.
I'm glad it was able to help you. I hope your family can understand you better. You may show them the "sneaky compulsions" video as well. 😃
Digging and digging and digging I found out my false memory was some horrible dream I had 10 years back or so. It just stayed dormant in my head. Man... the mind is scary, how many people are impressioned on false witnesses.
I have pure o, and recently I recalled a memory about me being alone with a girlfriend in a bathroon while she was throwing up because she was drunk, I remeber kissing her after she finished(we had kissed before she threw up, and even made out a few months before that) I have to say this worrying feeling started more than a year AFTER that took place, I felt so bad about kissing a drunk girl, then my mind started putting these thoughts about me rapping her with my fingers and breast grabbing, it got so intense I could not control it at all, so I started asking for forgiveness to her like 5 times everytime I came up with a new thought, this video really helped me my brother, you were born to save lives and that's the only fact in my memory that I will never doubt.
Hey know you are not a bad person, bad people don't feel guilt and remorse to their actions. I am not saying if this is true. But I am glad you are on the steps to recovery 😊
We should do a huge event where every single person in the world struggling with ocd
, anxiety and depression can assist.. We would definitely feel better supporting each other!!!
Yeh False Memory OCD is possibly the most f'd up type of OCD. I once change the diapers of my son and as soon as I left the room I had this image in mind that I fondled him. Somehow I knew it wasn't true but I knew my OCD would torture me with that. I can't get this image out of my head, even though I'm doing ERP on it. Like how can you accept that you possibly molested your own child??
Thanks for sharing! There is a difference between "accepting" and "ACCEPTING" -- accepting in the OCD sense means you're just agreeing with the thoughts taking all power and value away from them. Say, "sure, cool, I guess if you are telling me this happened than great!" It's not resisting or trying to figure it out. This is the key. 😃
OCD and Anxiety yes I know, it's soo painful though - because I accept the thought and it also disappears often. But then I'm like "BUT WHAT IF YOU ACTUALLY DID IT?" - also I did so many compulsions on it, that I fear I can never get distance to this thought
callie pearl I'm much better, like 90% better - thanks to good therapy and Escitalopram
this ocd is painful.. and if you ever have to many drinks and u blackout ocd will make sure it tells u lies wherever possible!
Yes it’s hard, idk I have this memory of scaring my little sister while she was in the shower. But I never remembered it until I started having intrusive thoughts. Like it wasn’t even in my brain. But then it got me thinking what if you wanted to look at her, what if you wanted to see her. And I’ve never had the thoughts, intentions, or desires to do so. But I’m like what if you did. And I asked her about it and she say she doesn’t even remember. But it didn’t even happen a long time ago. So I’m so worried. I care too much about my sister so it’s even worse. But like I’ve never intentionally done anything to hurt her like that. But still. What if I did but I didn’t know it.
THIS IS THE BEST VIDEO I HAVE SEEN SO FAR. It’s been a year I have been creating false memory scenarios which I can’t even recall of 4-5 years ago and my mind makes up new things and new scenarios which I know never happened because I have 0 evidence for it but it makes me check people’s phones and I BELIEVE MY MIND THAT IT IS SO TRUE: i check people’s phones, their intentions, i check everything’ and it’s a never ending cycle. THANKS TO YOU FOR MAKING THIS VIDEO. You EXPLAINED EVERYTHING IN DETAIL.
I should just start accepting whatever I have done in the past and I SHOULDNT RECALL. HAVE TO TAKE THAT RISK!!!!
Ehy man, very good video. I find myself a lot in this video. I know that I didn't harm anyone in the past but my brain wants to convince me that I did from the question "what if". So I started thinking and thinking again and I created images in my mind and it's like by brain believes them and that's terrible for me. It's like the brain created a movie. It makes me feel that I am a bad person, when I'm not. This happens also when I think "what if someone did harm to me, for example when I sleep?" and the brain creates images again. I feel terribly guilty. I let them go but sometimes they come again with great power and the brain believes them, that's crazy. They seem real, like a memory, but they're not because I created them from a fear, so... And I know that I didn't do anything but my brain wants to convince me with that terrible thoughts that change everyday. Thank you so much for what you do. Blessings
The most terrible thing is thinking you did something horrendous or you skipped doing something important like taking medicine etc. It's hell. People sleep on mental issues but pure ocd is a literal nightmare the anxiety is unbearable.
YES, THIS IS RELATABLE, IT IS LITERALLY MISERABLE, literally keeps me up at night and i cant get any peace😭
I don't think I have this exact OCD but I do suffer from various different types of other OCDs but the way you explain is so good that I feel I can actually understand the mindset of someone who is actually suffering from false memory OCD.
Thing is I've watched your other videos r regarding the OCDs I suffer from, and you explain so well! Thanks!!!
I'm going insane 😭
😭
@@niladribiswas498 stay well and strong hope ur ok xx
it's ok breathe you got this x stay well and strong hope your well cx
@@jordanhaynes9728 thank you
stay well and strong friend zx
I’m really struggling here. I don’t even know anymore ☹️ sometimes it feels real and sometimes it feels like it was a dream but whatever it is it’s slowly killing me 🥲
same..
I don’t know what to do
@@trashhooperstevenperalta1710 stay well and strong xx it will be ok hope your well x
@@navla2952 stay well and strong it will be ok hope your well xx
stay strong and well xx it will be ok hope your well xx or ok
I just have one thing to say;
THANK YOU 💕💕💕
I just have one thing to say;
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!
This is the worst ocd breakdown I’ve ever had, I was so scared to watch anything to do ocd because I think what if I don’t relate, but what if I’m different.
I’m convinced I’ve done something terrible when I was drunk and I didn’t remember. But this has calmed me down for now x I just am so scared to live the uncertainty of it all, I’m scared to be that disgusting horrible person that would do such terrible things.
ive been dealing with this constantly. except a much more severe and terrible thoughts. I know its all in my head but sometimes the brain can trick us into guilt when nothing even happened. thank you so much
Ikr
i've been dealing with this for the past two months and it is the absolute worst thing ever. thanks for this video
This is my brother! He’s schizophrenic and is constantly remembering horrible things that he never did. He’s turned himself in to the police so many times. If I tell him it never happened, he thinks I’m lying to him.
Hello I just wanted to let you know that you are helping me so much. When I watch your videos I feel so much better. Thank you.
Wow, thank you! I'm glad to hear you're doing well!
this was really helpful and the way you explained it was really easy to understand and makes me feel a lil better about how I've been feeling, thank you! :-)
Yahhh! That's my goal. Thanks for the kind words! 😃
@@ocdandanxiety can I ask a question this I have been smoking weed for 8 years then one day I was walking home and this extreme fear and paranoid and anxiety just hit me my vision went blank and since then I have not been the same and since then I keep getting false memories is this normal also the doctor told me I have Dp is this normal
This is all from the fear and anxiety. It’s like when you want to remember a situation with every little detail, but you cannot remember everything so detailed, and then you get this intrusive thought, that you might have done something horrible that day, but you are not sure if you really did that or you are just confusing something. The problem is that, you yourself are not sure if you really did that or not. You say to yourself, “what if I did that, but it slipped out of my mind, and now I don’t remember it.” Just the fear that you might have done something like that, gives you images of you doing that thing, ( even if you didn’t do it in real life ) I am not a crazy person, trust me, but I know that I sound like a crazy person. So my question to you is, how to remember an event, exactly and really how it occurred. I wasn’t always like this, I don’t when I started behaving this way, but I am 1,000,000% sure that I wasn’t always like this. Please give me answers.
i have the same problem!i understand you!
@@andreea8245 yea. What do you think we can do.
I understand you. The more I ruminate I can't remember more. And it become so uncertain
@@JL-zx2ul I think people who have really done harm are not even concerned for a moment about these things
how long and how exactly did you start worrying about that?
i can told you how i start this
i had a nightmare and after i start to worry about the posibility that the nightmare was reality or something happend in the past ,something like that
@@Ezkvlra yea, rumonating makes everything so confusing
Very interesting. I experience this but didn't know there was an actually name to it, knowledge gained!
Great video man, It’s interesting to learn about all these different types of OCD and how to deal with it
About a 2 weeks ago I started having really bad OCD out of no where And it scares me because I have almost every form of it but your videos really helped me understand what it is and how it really works and how to deal with it
Great video, I had an episode of false memory OCD 20 years ago and it went away. Unfortunately it's come back (the same intrusive thought/idea) and it's terrifying. I'm getting CBT therapy very soon but I might try the 'I don't care' technique in the meantime. Thanks.
I hope you can find some relief soon! Finding someone on iocdf.org is a smart idea! 😃
You may have saved my life, sir. Thank you.
I suffer with this every day and its worst when your brain starts to ruminate about a thought from before. But gotta stay strong, remember what matters is the here and now - the present. As Tommy Shelby once said, "The past is in the past. The past is not my concern."
its really hard to convice yourself like "i know i didnt said that but it feels like i did said that." it makes me sooo paranoid like i feel like someones going to betray me.
ive been struggling depression and severe anxiety before this(ocd) strike. im so streesed out and its controlling my life and everything. im so tired and scared everyday. help me
You are just like me
Hey, I understand. I was in that place once. about 2 years ago I was doing hundreds if not over a thousand rituals a day. there was no me left. I was hopeless, depressed, & constantly suicidal. I’m not reply with that to say “it’s always going to be that way”- I actually want to tell you the opposite. I know it may be hard to believe now, but it will get better. With a LOT of treatment & choice & growth I went from literally constantly doing rituals, sleeping 12+ hours, sometimes a whole day, hitting my head 100 times in a row several times a day. Like I said there wasn’t any me left. My parents would say “We just want to old Claire back.” It’s not that there was a time where I didn’t have OCD, but until I was 11-12 it was my normal. I thought every body thought & felt the same & “played” the “silly games” i did. And, at the time, the OCD was allowing me to “cope effectively” with life. Then a couple of years later OCD began controlling me more than I was controlling it. I was using it to cope anymore, It was using me to destroy. My point is I went from my lowest place that I described above to a place I never thought would be possible. It still doesn’t feel real sometimes. In recent months OCD hasn’t been as huge of a piece of my life. On really good days/weeks I may only give in to a handful of rituals. And even on bad days/weeks now I know how to use my tools & I truly believe that there is life beyond OCD. That I had the choice to say no. To do the thing afraid. It will get better, it may take a while, it may feel like nothing will ever change. But remember those are FEELINGS. Feelings can be valid AND still not be truth. I see your comment was almost a year ago. I hope you are doing well. If you haven’t already, and have the means to do so, I would highly suggest connecting with an OCD therapist who does ERP. There are also intensive programs that accelerate progress and have more support. Facing OCD is scary as heck- one of the scariest things I’ve ever had to do- BUT it will be worth it. You will be able to cope. You will feel better & be happy. You will find hope. It will not overcome you, as long as you choose to get up each day to fight it. Your best is all that is needed. If I didn’t choose to fight OCD it would have ended me, but it didn’t. Again, I hope you’re well & have sought out help. You’re never ever alone!!
I’m going through this right now 😞
Jaja moto same here.I am struggling every day.I was a brilliant student and now I am nothing but a loser.I have lost interest in everything at 22 yrs of age.i had depression in teenage and as a result this ocd developed.Filthy thoughts which are not true crosses my brain daily and I am helpless...Someone plz help me if they know how to manage it
michael sheldon
I’ve been having an intrusive thought that I cheated on my fiancé sometime in the past 3 years without remembering. It got to the point where I reached out to literally EVERY guy in my past and asked them if that happened, and they all said no, but I can’t believe them for some reason. It’s so terrifying. It got to the point where I almost broke up with my fiancé bc I was convinced I cheated on him. This video is so close to what I’ve actually experienced and it makes me feel a little less alone.
to anyone who reads this x I hope your well and stay strong it will all be ok xx
I’m sitting here blown away, like a lightbulb going on. I’ve never been able to describe this to my therapist. I’m 46, healthy male, great career and family but I’ve had some form of ocd and horrible anxiety since my earliest memories. The ocd symptoms rotate from checking doorknob handles and other things I won’t mention (afraid of triggering others). But by far this false memory part has been the worst, it’s more than awful. I’m just discovering this but thank you for the video. And thank you for the commenters, Im not alone.
Yes its false memories of very very untrue false things. That make us believe it happened as we may lost our memory, it can be very disturbing disgusting stuff.
I have been feeling like shit over this and you really made me feel better, thank you!!
I'm hearing this a lot in the comment section, and I must ask as well- what happens if your ocd makes you unsure as to whether or not you did something bad or not? How can you just let this stuff go, or how can you learn how to deal with the uncertainty?
I'm struggling with this to. I can't stop thinking bout it all though I Kno it's all in my head
This is probably one of the toughest things I’ve ever dealt with in my life because it’s hard to tell what the truth is. I feel like deep down I know I didn’t do what my mind makes me think I did, but I fear that maybe I’m just in denial and don’t know how to deal with it. This is one of the most difficult times of my life, I would never wish ocd on anyone
What a brilliant video.
Nathan you really are a life saver!
this is the worst thing that could happen to me, moments that i know o havent done something bad to people. But my brain keeps telling me that i did and i try to fight and find every detail. But cant, have even one memory from when i was kid. Thanks to you I've learn how to handle it, and with my psykolog.
you know what these comments are quite enough evidence to make me convinced that I really have OCD, and this confirms for me that's my thoughts are not real, I guess it's time to be satisfied
This was from a couple weeks ago, but I had this thought one day because I saw a girl in the same bus I took to college, and I recognised her and remembered that we used to hang out and at times just mess around and play fight like kids do. However, I was reminiscing and thought "what if I touched her inappropriately and wanted it, done that and just forgotten it?" I remember how bad that affected me that day and for a couple weeks before I realised how ridiculous of me it would've been. I know I wouldn't do such a thing, but I thought "what if I did, she remembers and told people." I got very anxious and extremely paranoid. I didn't want to be seen in public and just wanted to hide. I couldn't eat properly nor concentrate. I wanted to ask her something like "when we used to mess around before, have I ever made you feel uncomfortable?" I wanted to ask (never did) because I was desperate for the closure and to make sure I'm a good person. It's a bastard when the memory you remember had happened and you know it did, but then OCD warps it and puts an extra memory in to fuck with my head. It made me want to commit suicide, but now I'm getting help. I've been suffering with this for years and it has gotten to the point where I am now bed bound, not eating, not sleeping and staying at home when I should be in college. But, no. My own fucking mind just ruins me. Now, I'm getting the help I need and so grateful.
Bro you are not alone. I am dealing with a similar thing
@@Ezkvlra Cool profile pic XD
I have dealt with this to an extreme extent ever since a drunken/blurry night out that led to me and my friend getting jumped. I constantly worry about what i might have done that night to the point where it has caused me EXTREME depression and anxiety and messed up my life in so many ways.
This is literally the worst! I’m such a “girls girl” and love to chat but I IMMEDIATELY regret because I can’t remember everything I’ve said to a t. It’s so exhausting and makes me want to record EVERYTHING! It’s nice to be able to come back to these videos to remind me that it’s just a part of my OCD.
Thank you so much. I really appreciate your videos you made my life a bit better
Thank you for this, very understanding and helpful!
You're very welcome!
@@ocdandanxietyI am from Pakistan I am suffering from I went to do CA but due to OCD I came back to home please help me you are the only one to help me
Idk if I have OCD or not, but I have a lot of the symptoms and I’ve been look for a therapist for it. The thing is, I have this memory that has been coming in and out and I always believed it was real and was deeply guilty for it because it felt so real and it has details but at the same time when I think of it I can’t think of how it happened, and millions of images and possibilities flow into my head and I don’t know which one is real or which scenario is real and when I try to think of the least worse scenario my brain tells me it’s fake and I’m denial of being a bad person. Anyway, I looked into this and it makes sense, I’ve been having compulsion of confessing or confirming if it was wrong or right or different or something. But it feels so real that I’m now, as I write this that it was real, it felt very real but I don’t know how it happened specifically, it’s like I have some pieces of a puzzle and the other ones are missing. It’s very confusing and makes me really question.
Edit: I think since I didn’t know what false memory was I just accepted that it was real and never said a “what if” but then again what if I’m just in denial? I don’t really know I feel like I may be going insane.
Same. I even got confirmation that it didn't happen and that I'm being weird but I'm still not convinced it didn't happen.
Relatable
I'm so glad I'm not the only one going through this. It's like just weeks ago i knew the truth but then my mind started going what if and now I'm stuck and can't stop thinking about it. It's so hard 😭😭
I suffer from FM OCD. Thank you so much for this sir. Really made me feel good.
Thank u for your videos!!! I am watching almost whole day! Really appreciate💙
Of course!
.. I know I have OCD and several forms of it too.. I never knew it had a name untill recently. That last strategy you just named of attacking the OCD by just telling your brain "Yes, I did that, all of it! And not just that, I probably did worse!" repeatedly last night and that was scary as hell. But it calmed down after first going haywire for a minute because I was so afraid of doing that. Because even doing that at first made me feel extremely guilty and crazy. My brain felt like extreme fog was increasing for a while. But after a minute, or few minutes (felt like eternity) exactly what you said here happened. My brain started responding with the "No way.. Hey? What are you saying, what are you doing?! You are not like that at all..".. Like everything I was trying to tell my brain when it was telling me I did that horrible thing, now it started doing the opposit and started telling ME what I had been trying to tell IT before, combating these uncertain memories.. it now started reassuring me, producing relaxation in my body within minutes. I did that excersize after seeing a video about this strategy by someone else suffering from OCD and I gathered all my courage and said fk it! I am going insane anyways so fk it! But it worked and gave me some peace compared to how I felt before.. for at least a few hours after. On another note: It has made me look at my brain and its functions differently. Much more like it's an organ that can influence me than identifying completely as my brain beeing "me".. I really never looked at it that way..
*Edit: Tried this again today, but I think doing it in a frustrated way is not good. Try in the way this man in the video explains. Not like me because I was really mad with my brain.. And it did not help like that. I felt like my dad had been screaming at me..
I’m going to try this. Thank you.
I don’t know if I have false memory or Real event memory, because I know something happened but I kept ruminating about details that kept changing a bit and now I’m scared that the whole memory might be false or that main facts changed, the memory is about my false ocd arousal that happened few times and it was very traumatic 😭
Same but for something worse
Did it get better? I have the same thing
I've been struggling with this but for me it's the worst kind of thoughts - I'm terrified that I may have sexually abused my younger brother and/or had sexual thoughts and fantasies involving him. I don't remember any of these things actually happening but the fact that the thoughts about what I think happened are so specific makes me wonder if they did. I also worry that I'm just telling myself they're false memories because they're actually true and I don't want to accept it
I also dealt with false memories and it was so hard!!!! I had one that scared the fuck outta me bc if it was true I would be in serious trouble but I thought very deep about it and realized that it's so unlikely that this has very happened. If it happened I wouldn't have forgotten that since I was 12/13. I still get scared sometimes but I know that they're false memories
You can try to think about it deeper to see if they're realistic. Mine werent
@@unknownuser4879 mine is the exact same as yours. I want to say that it was very unlikely it happened which I really hope it was and I am not using this as an excuse. It's really difficult for me to try and get a answer. I know somewhere I didn't do it
@@Ezkvlra I seeked reassurance and eveyone told me that I did NOTHING wrong. I had false memory and contacted a friend who I didn't even have contact to. She couldn't remember anything and I feel bad for asking her out of nowhere. It scares me. I'm scared I might have said manipulating things. But I'm better now. Better than two months ago bc I've accepted that it's OCD. Some days are hard some are better. You've got this
I’m going through this right now but instead I got drunk and everyone told me I didn’t leave the apartment but my mind tells me I escaped through the window to go molest someone
I'm not diagnosed with OCD , but this has been happening since yearss with me . At this point , i don't even know what memory possessed by me is actually true :(
Same 😭😭
Your videos help so much! 😭
This is so helpful. Tysm... I was diagnosed with schizophrenia 8 years ago and have been on some serious medication because of it, but I'm realizing it more like this, false memory OCD. The medication has definitely helped (risperidone) but it makes me feel really dull and not fun and made me gain 60 pounds. My false memories tend to escalate though, like if this memory is true then most likely people are out to get revenge and on you and try to kill you... I don't know if that crosses the line into a more serious mental illness. I don't see or hear things that arent there. I just tend to believe things that aren't true about my past.
Same bro
This type of OCD tortures me. Funny thing is alot of the time I drink to escape it but in the long run drinking and false memory OCD is not a good mix. I hate this mental illness. You can't run from your own brain
You’re not alone, I hope you find some relief.
@@KC-dx4qt cheers mate that comment means alot 🙂
Sums up my thoughts perfectly
Thank you so much. This is exactly what I’m going through
I'm glad it was able to help! I wish you the best!!
Ohh..you describe it so correctly. I am going through this with huge intensity.
I love your videos! Thank you so much 🥰
Ur a genius u know what ur doing!
I was never diagnosed with OCD, but recently a lot of videos with therapists talking about OCD yave been coming up on my TH-cam and i find it interesting so ive been watching them, and a lot tof the time, i fond them relateable and i didnt even realize i was doing half of the things the cideos say until im aware those arent normal. I think os hould get it checked out.
God bless you so much sir you have provided me with so much help with your videos I’ve been struggling with these memories to the point where I’ve been trying to figure out all these past memories to try and get reassurance. OCD is a terrible monster
Thank you for this video. I know that the solution is stopping ruminating about it but how can You just live with the thought that you could have hurt someone and just don’t care. I mean I know we’ll never get the answer but it’s just so hard to live with the uncertainty that you could be a monster. I can’t overcome this point...
I had to overcome this possibility and I didn't know it was ocd....I just had to accept the fact that I most likely was a monster
@@aloalo3727 I feel you bro
Yes! THIS!!! I think “will I be an evil person if I can just not care that I could have hurt someone? Like evil people don’t care, so if I don’t care I must be evil. Will that mean I don’t have a conscience. And if I -choose- to not care I must be super evil because there are probably some evil people that don’t have consciences and at least they have an excuse, but I’m making a choice. I don’t want to be evil. But I must be. What if evil people have this type of ocd. I don’t want to be like them.” Like this illness is not a cakewalk.
Ahhhh yes this is me and I really needed this.
I've been a refugee for the last 7 years, but not just a normal type of refugee. We've been held in Indonesia so we could be a lesson for others so no one ever comes here. I had some traumatic events in my past life. Living in here added to that. At some point I knew I had mental disorders. I visited a doctor and it turned out I had PTSD.
What I didn't know was that false memories were a thing too. I had arguments with people over details of events. Finally, I learnt that my mind was deceiving me into believing the details it created. So, in the end, I just accepted anything anyone was telling me, because maybe they were right. But things escalated, and I began to reveal secrets that I shouldn't have. To me, they were ordinary things whether I said or someone else told me. To the other person who actually told me that... Gosh, so many accusations, so many embarrassing moments, my life is a living hell.
This put me in a way harder situation that I was already. A lot of people just began to keep their distance from me because either they couldn't rely on me anymore or they were afraid. I already knew people didn't like freaks because of my PTSD.
I am looking for some cure, but the doctor told me disorders are incurable. With all these difficulties, I just hope more and more people knew about this. Maybe then they weren't so quick to judge.
Oh my gosh. For YEARS I’ve suffered in anguish at times trying to accurately recall something horrific I fear I’ve done in the past... I can’t fathom how in logical actuality but I have never been able to shake this very foggy and butchered “ memory “….I am also in recovery and spend the last 20 years of my like often blacked out and or totally disoriented from alcohol, including when this “ happened “.
It’s gotten so bad I can almost recall trying to cover up the evidence the next day. It’s just not possible though I could never live with myself. It makes me feel crazy and honestly incapable of functioning at times because of the guilt and shame and fear.
I’ve tried to look up false memories before but I never know this was an actual syndrome. I do have ocd and ptsd from childhood. I feel like watching this was a gift from God for some peace… finally.
Kristen, you’re not alone. I’m going through this as well.
@@ElizabethGonzalez-jt7ns I’m
So so sorry that you’re dealing with this internal torment and understand. I will pray for your peace and healing and freedom from the lies.
@@Kelless629 thank you 🙏🏼 I will pray for you too. I’ve had all types of ocds… but this one keeps coming back. 🥺
@@ElizabethGonzalez-jt7ns I understand… remember the Evil powers that be will take our WORST fears … and manipulate us. All they need is one tiny slice of truth and all of our fears to torment us. Pray for The Lord to take away the lies. Stay in touch if you want to and let me know how you’re doing ok
@@Kelless629 … thank you so much for your kind words 💗🙏🏼. Would love to stay in touch… Do you happen to have IG or Facebook?
My OCD makes me have "memories" of me doing some super weird and gross things with my friend, and any time I see him, I immediately think of the "memories" and begin wondering if I should ask him if it happened. My problem is the fear of him saying yes, and remembering all of it. What's worse is that the "memories" all feel so real, as real as if they happened yesterday. Can any of you guys relate to any of this, and what do you guys think?
Yes I can relate.....I have blocked people on my cell phone because I just knew they were going to tell me whatever it was I did...... cheating on husband.... girl on girl..... having whorish intentions..... committing the unpardonable sin..... whatever it is yes
Don't ask them if it happened. U will embarrass yourself..... trust me I know and when u come to your senses u will realize how terrifying this disease really is
@@aloalo3727 are you a Christian?
@@Ezkvlra I believe in God and Jesus. Christianity has been americanized and so far from reality I couldn't follow. I read the bible and that is what I believe
I had a dream last night that I asked my friend if it happened, and my worst fears became a reality... in that dream. It was the worst feeling I've ever felt in a very long time, and now I'm even more scared than before...
I need help. My mind is messing up all my memories into horrifying things. It's telling me that I did things that I know I didn't do. I've not been diagnosed with anything because mental health is not a thing over here.
I'm so tired
I know I didn't do these things but now I don't know
I had similar problems myself and it's OK to ask for help. Don't be sceard of what other people will think.
@@heavenlyanimationstudio2257 hii, thank you, I'll ask around . But how are you managing yours right now?
I just stop paying attention to it. It was hard to ignore it at first but once I started to ignore it my OCD just started getting weaker and weaker. It was hard and I never completely got rid of my OCD but it's so weak now that I can hardly hear it now. Please ask for help and newer give up. If I defited my OCD so can you defite your's. It won't be easy but please for your good ask for help and never give up and youl be OK just like I am now. You can defite your OCD. I believe in you. 🙂
@@heavenlyanimationstudio2257 😊😊😊😊😊you're the best
Thank you so much for all of this
I'll do my best
I'll heed your advice 🥰🥰
All the best to you as well❤❤
Good lucky 😊 You're not fighting this monster alone. I defited it. And you will as weall. 😀😀😀😀😀
ohh god it's so hard :(
how to know if it's real event of just a false memory?
it's sucks totaallyy sucks
I usually get some flashes from my past and if I don't remember everything that happened in it I must think it through all the way, and then I can get relief and move on. It's daily thing to me and its really frustrating.
thank you so much for this video. i really needed this ive been to therapy and to be honest not one of them have metioned false memories im trying to cope but its hard because you think you did or said things that are horrible. ive going to people in the pasrt asking if this happened and they say no. there all so horrible. there even starting to come up in my recent life like things that happpebed only 4 months ago. i collect details that i remeber and i guess create these paraniod ideas of what happened. its really hard but i think this video is right becuase i alot them i realise are to do with moral and ethics that i think i would never be that perrson but the false memories make you believe there true. i think his right about just saying "i dont care" because alot of them are untrue and its messing up my current life
I have symptoms of ROCD, and I constantly get to thinking about my past. In the beginning of our relationship I was very distance, he knows this, but at the time I made countless mistakes. I’ve confessed to many, some big some small, but now I keep finding little mistakes of “flirting” or “cheating” and creating/reminiscing false memories. My boyfriend and I are trying to work together to restore our relationship, but every other day it’s something new popping up in my head. Please help. What do I do?
I can relate to this a lot. It is frustrating because you think of the thought and feel terrible bringing it up and upsetting them when you feel it isn't even true, but keeping it in makes it worse. If you have found ways of coping I would love to hear
This is my exact situation omg.
@@emilyf4055 exactly. I'm going to talk to my therapist first before confessing anything. I feel so crazy.
Has it gotten better? I would love to talk to you about it as I feel so lost and guilty and shameful the past 2 weeks
I once woke up crying because I thought I killed someone. I tried to search my memory and the worst thing is, even though I can't recall any memory, the doubt just goes stronger.
same. this is me. I tried to remember the situation and memories. but I can't find anything..it makes my thoughts getting worst
Does it get better?
Excellent video!
I can’t tell if it’s real or fake I’m going insane. I’m having suicidal thoughts too.
Same
Don’t kill yourself, there is a solution to every problem.
Do any of you ever kind of get this almost numb/dead/zombie like feeling where no matter how intrusive the thoughts are they don’t seem to bother you as much because of how worn out you are? That’s happened to me the last day or 2. It could be because the last 3-4 days were really hard, or because I got my Covid vaccination on 2 days ago. Either way I’ve totally felt dead and emotionless today. All I could think about was suicide today.
@@lukesigmon9601 this happens to me a bit too
@@KingNoor2007 it’s nice to know I wasn’t the only one. I thought I was losing my mind. Literally the only thing I’ve had on my mind since Sunday was suicide and yet it didn’t bother me at all and I don’t know why. I almost picked up a knife last night and I ran into my room before I could do it. And then at the store today I almost bought a bottle of NyQuil to chug along with whiskey but I stopped myself. And yet I wasn’t really phased by it. I didn’t cry or get crippling anxiety.
Thanks this video really helped I am feeling much better
Thanks so much for this dude!
Thank you for your encouragement! I wish you the best! 😃
I literally searched according to my symptoms and found out it is indeed real ! Living with OCD for 5 years, this memory thing is happening now for the first time.