As you've noticed, "solving" the thought just makes it happen more. And trying to push it away only tells your brain that it's important. What works really well is just agreeing with the thought, accepting the possibility, and then carrying about your day and acting according to your values. This shows your brain that the thought doesn't matter. But you have to show your brain with actions. Arguing only makes it worse
You just be comfortable in uncomfortable situations and incase of any negatives thoughts just say no brain or focus shifting your action to the values{cognitive diffusion}
This is so dead on about how the ocd mind goes on and on about something......searching for answers. I live this quite frequently. Currently as a matter of fact. When you were doing the banana thing...it really hit home...had to comment right then. Now I'm going to finish watching it...thanks for your insight.
It is difficult but so is running or mountain climbing. Healthy exercises are generally difficult at first and they make you sweat and wear you out. But imagine if every time you went for a run, as soon as you started to sweat, you tried to "calm" your sweating. You'd never get good at running. The same is true for anxiety. If you try to stop feeling anxiety, you're never going to improve your ability to handle anxiety.
I'm glad I ran across your video. I have had OCD my entire life, and today is a bad day with my "false memory OCD" and all the "WHAT IF???" questions. You're video made me laugh and brought comfort. Thank you!
This is the perfect analogy! I have never heard someone explain ocd so well. Thank you! This made me feel so much better about having a terrible OCD day.
From one OCD sufferer to another, thank you! Your videos are very ensightful and I have found them to be extremely motivational on my road to beating my own irrational obsessions.
I am not a psychologist I just experienced these problems are still have them. But I've just Accepted them they are part of me you can't hate your self I still experience these thoughts but I sit back and let them flow.
You are awesome! You're videos give me hope and inspiration. I'v been suffering from OCD my whole life but only within the last few years have come to understand that. It comes and goes, but I really determined to finally overcome it for good!
hahahaha wow.. Thank you for making this video. It really helped me laugh at myself. I've been driving myself crazy lately and this made me feel better for at least a little while.
Extremely helpful video they are start out as thoughts, exactly right when you label them you are showing your brain importance It doesn't matter if they go away or not they are still just thoughts. If you search the definition of thought they are just ideas in your head doesn't necessarily mean they have happened or not. Doesn't matter if it's graphical or whatever you call an image sound or your self sound box.
Your videos are everything to me. I feel the need to check things over and over again and it's gotten worse this summer. If I don't check them, I feel like something terrible is going to happen to me. To add to this, I have memories about did I really check the things I should check? It's very tiring to live this way, but thanks to you, I'm relief to know that I'm not the only one with this.
this gets tricky when you don´t remember if you stole the banana from someone you love, because this leads to 2 ends, a) you conclude that most probably you stole the banana and you live in guilt because you hurt the feelings of a love one stealing their banana, and at the same time you know that this may be all false and that you're living in guilt because of a false a memory, or b) you determine that it's just anxiety and that you didn't stole that banana, but when you think that, there comes and urge that tells you that you did something awful and you're just avoiding that by saying that is just anxiety. the days go by and at all times you remember the banana, and any conclusion or finale that you give to the thought ends and you have the urge again to rethink the whole steal-of-the-banana situation. i can´t live like this, i just want to know if i should feel guilty or just pass over all this.
Just wanted to say thank you for all these videos. Got a lot of confirmation on things that I needed. Really appreciate it. Certainly no steps backward. Only forward.
Thanks! I'm glad the videos are helping. It's tough living with OCD for a long time but keep pushing with recovery. It really is possible to see a big change and ditch the old compulsions. Just breathe and be present!
WOW, this is actually making me laugh. I have False Memory OCD, Pure O, OCD and Borderline Personality Disorder. The way you are expressing EVERYTHING here is what goes on in my head. You are SO clever!!!!!
Earlier today I convinced myself that I had swallowed my cat’s thyroid medication, even though I would literally never do that. Spent hours looking online looking at side effects and having a panic attack.
This video is so funny, and everytime (yeah i have wached it many times) it remind me that my OCD is just in my head and why I need to keep fight it. THank you so much for this video it has helped me so many times.
Hey Mark, I think this also applies to the frequent question of "when is too much? "And did I do it right? Is it okay?" questions that anxiety leads to. You know if you did it right, and if you did it okay. You just have to trust yourself and then accept contradictory thoughts if they occur. Cheers for the video!
it's sooo accurate! I was having a panic attack because of an intrusive thought that popped in my head about a past fact that I am really scared of. The anxiety was growing and growing and becoming overwhelming. I felt the urge to check if It really happened, if it was true or not, if it could happen again... I wanted to check on the Internet if it already happened to somebody else and how they got over it etc..... and then I thought it was better to look for one of your videos.. they're always helpful. I find it really hard to accept some thoughts when it scares you that much. I don't know how to do it when it's something you really really really don't want? I've been struggling with ocd for two years now. it gets better thanks to you, to Stuart Ralph, to my therapist and thanks to me also but sometimes it comes back harder for a while...
Great video! This is exactly what I do. Analyze thoughts that I had in my past sometimes as far back as 30 years ago!! I analyze them and try and think exactly how I felt then, and then determine if I really have OCD, or if it's really something else. Ugh! It's so annoying.
I get you on this. Isn't it something how our minds can take us so far back? I feel it's always trying to find something for me to dwell on and feel bad or guilty about.
Thanks! I'm glad they're helping. It's totally normal to get angry when you first hear this kind of stuff. Recovery doesn't make sense, it just makes you healthy.
So the choice is only one: be sure o recover! Thanks for all the resources you post on this channel! I'm actually a bit plagued by obsessive doubting about my everyday and long term choices and I fond myself using rationalization like "It's the last time" "Maybe you didn't analyze well the question" "This new information can change everything". Now everyday i'm trying to respond only to this question: "Do you want to recover or to be sure?" And I know for SURE what i want because I FEEL it. I find that people with OCD a lot of times struggle to trust themselves and the evidence that we can see at first glance. The reason makes our perception of things dirty and uncertain, we tend to doubt also what we should consider as granted (es. the love for a partner, our values and goals in life etc...) . Maybe we should also trust more our instinct and "gut" (and no, I don't mean our fears and anxieties but the healthy part of us).
I find it useful to use values to guide my actions and decisions. Trying to trust gut or instinct can naturally get you into lots of the doubting and compulsions you described.
@@everybodyhasabrain yeah but if i follow my values I tend to be perfectionist and rigid... All my doubts are based on strict (and useless) rules to "preserve energy". For example "Should I stop talking to preserve energy?" or "should i close my eyes to gain more energy?". So the process of optimize things becomes instead a big distress to me. I recognized that I should let go this rigid rules and the doubts that are related (also because i don't think this rigidity can be part of a satysfing life), but when I meet the doubt it seems like I have no certainty about this decision and I am in denial, so the urge is to redo the analys of the rules because they could be helpful. It is getting better but it's really difficult lol
@Carlo Valentini Okay, but you see that, so there's not really an excuse to keep doing that, fully aware that it's a compulsion. You can approach values differently and not turn them into compulsions. What you described above is like saying: "When I drive my car I always crash it into walls, so driving is a problem." ... you can drive differently if you want. Driving doesn't inherently require crashing into walls, just like values don't inherently require turning them into compulsions, especially when we're aware that can happen.
@@everybodyhasabrain thx, I'm really trying to ignore thoughts as much as possible. Now i have also put sticky notes where I study that remember me that if I want to recover I need to avoid chasing certainty.
When an intrusive memory comes I tell myself"it's ocd I don't know if it's real or not"and then I try to move on sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't wat do u think
That sounds like a lot of labelling to me. What's an intrusive memory? What's OCD? All stuff in your head is stuff in your head. By choosing to use labels, you set yourself up for your brain questioning whether that's the right label or not. But if you just accept the stuff in your head and move on to doing what you value in life, then you don't have to worry about whether the label is right or not. It's just stuff in your head. It doesn't have to run your life.
Another variation on this would be those who keep questioning themselves as to whether they might have already done some of these things, either very recently, or in the past
Hmmmmmm... I actually made this video in response to that very question. Maybe give it another watch. "Real" is just a label you stick on a banana, or a thought. All thoughts are "real" thoughts in that you really thought them. It's all just weather passing over you. OCD is in your reactions to thoughts, not your thoughts.
Wow this is actually so accurate. I always go over and over things in my head in this manner and put judgments and get upset for seemingly no reason bc like you said it's just a thought. Stop trying to label it... Thank you so much. Your videos are really helping me think rationally with my OCD.
Omg I do almost everything in these videos and I never thought that it would've been OCD because I'm not the most organized and beat person but now I know that that's just a stereotype.
It's definitely a sterotype. I totally understand you though, I thought I couldn't have OCD since my intrusive thoughts weren't germ based. That all changed when I took psychology last semester, my professor taught us that there were other forms, and sure enough I found myself pieces of myself in her lecture. I was surprised to find out there are other forms of OCD other than contamination OCD.
Had attended a wedding this weekend drank somewhat heavily nothing crazy,but several days after I'm peicing together everything I remember and what I can't remember I'm filling in the blanks with thinking I said or did something stupid but deep down I know I didnt, hate over analyzing even days after.
Check out my videos on finding the root of your fear: "OCD is a weed..." and the video on "Harm O". But it's basically going to come down to finding out why you're afraid of death and understanding that's probably just a superficial symptom of a much bigger role OCD is playing in your life. With ERP, you should always follow some kind of program. Just launching into the thing that's bothering you the most is really tough. Build up your anxiety hugging abilities throughout your life.
Brilliant. I keep getting stuck on thinking that some thoughts are more real than others. The banana part made me laugh out loud! Certian days I have this cloud hanging over my head (such as today), with a neckpain and headache. I feel so anxious and I cannot put my finger on why. I keep thinking on (feeling for) labelling things as "real love" and "unreal love". "Happiness" and not. Very frustrating. Despite this, when I am on a good mood, all of this is non-existant!!
My problem is I keep thinking about stuff from a while back ago, and I always feel like I did something bad. It's hard for me to let it go because I feel like if I just let it go and I really did do something bad then I'm just letting myself get away with it but on the other hand it could be my ocd imagination taking something that wasn't that bad and making it bad. Do you have any advice for that? I feel like a horrible person all the time because of it, and I feel like no one understands.
This is a really common issue with OCD so any therapist with a track-record of helping people overcome OCD should be able to work with you on it. Judgment is a big part of OCD and one of the really unhealthy compulsions we can get trapped in engaging constantly. Even the belief that "nobody understands me" is a common OCD symptom--it's all about judging ourselves and judging others and letting those judgments become barriers between us. So learning to not judge things and practice acceptance was a huge help for me in overcoming this. There's nothing healthy I can do in the past so obsessing about the past and judging myself or others is completely useless to me doing healthy things in the present. Learning to practice mindfulness and be in the present has helped as well. Making a conscious decision about where to put your awareness can help bring your focus to things you want to focus on. It takes practice but your mind doesn't to have think about stuff from the past. There are many different things you can do to help in overcoming this so I hope you continue to gather together supports to help you on the journey!
***** Thank you for the advice! It is so nice to hear it from someone who knows what its like to have OCD. It's hard cause I only know one person in my life who has OCD and that is my dad, but he refuses to get help, but I want to get better and not let it control the rest of my life. I have a hard time letting my past go, but you are absolutely right and we can do nothing about the past and that we should focus on the "now" and make that the best we possibly can. All I want is just to get better. My OCD has gotten so overbearing lately that I can barely do anything. I have like a form of Harm OCD and I'm afraid of hurting everything I'm near. I can't even sit next to someone on the couch or hug them without thinking I'm hurting them in some way. Alot of things I used to enjoy doing I can't even do now because of the fear and having the 'false' memories makes the fear even bigger because its like "well look what you did that time". I just hate OCD so much. I hope one day I can get past it or at least get it where its controllable. I'm seeing a therapist now and she is really helping me and she gave me a workbook to work on for it. I am so glad I found your videos though. I was having a very difficult day today with the OCD. To the point I was having suicidal thoughts, but I came to youtube and looked up to see if there was people who related to me and I came across your videos. Thank you very much for helping me and everyone else! It's truly a blessing. :)
ambyleeful That's great you have a therapist you're working on things with. There are difficult days with OCD but they're helpful--they drive us to get over it and make big changes in our lives so we don't fall back into OCD. It really is possible to recover from OCD but it does take lots of consistent work. It's just like getting into great physical shape--it doesn't happen overnight and it is a lot of hard work, but over time, the hard work becomes enjoyable, the benefits are obvious, and it frees you to do all sorts of things in life you hadn't thought possible. So keep pushing and gathering together supports to give fear big hugs every day!
Mark, this is brilliant! Although its a subject that I relate to in the exact way you describe it, I can't help but laugh at your delivery. Well done for making me laugh today! Kay
I have hocd and I keep getting flashbacks to when I thought he about being gay or when I was attracted to the same-sex. It's so annoying because I'm pretty sure I never questioned my sexuality before :/
Hahahaha! Brilliant! Love watching ur videos! Might explain me commenting on the same ones over nover again: ) thanks Mark for all your help! Have to admit during my worst period on SIAD i was very angry with u (lol sorry!) But I've really grown to like what ur doing!
Hello I need help, I am worried about developing false memories and I have this compulsive note taking that makes me want to take notes of some events just to make sure it really happened and that my memories won't distort in the future. I also have compulsive picture taking and I would take lots of videos just to record pointless things for minutes on ends just so I don't forget or distort memories. It has gotten to the point where I can take a 1000 pictures in less than 1 week and I would constantly have to back up my phone. Please help, I am really scared of false memories so I always rely on cameras and notes to make sure what happened really happened or what didn't happen didn't happen. Thank you!
Those compulsions will fuel the anxiety so I would suggest cutting them out. To get over the fear of "false memories", it can help to practice accepting the consequences and doing things you value. As long as you want to avoid "false memories", your brain will try to help you avoid then by giving you these intrusive thoughts. The more things you do to avoid them, the more your brain will give you these thoughts.
Yes..so true. I have good days and bad days. Somedays I feel like I'm getting it and some days I feel I'll never recover. I guess that's the two steps forward one step back sort of thing. I can't believe I never thought I had OCD until I was diagnosed and it all makes sense. I sometime think I'm doing the ERP training wrong but I guess it takes time to master right?
Yes, the more you do it, the better you'll get at it, the more you'll learn about how your brain works, the more you'll see it doesn't matter whether you think you can recover or not--recovery becomes the way you live everyday, not a place you visit once.
Hi Mark, I have been looking for your video where you made a great point regarding uncertainty acceptance in OCD, where you‘ve said „if we try to use a compulsion get rid of uncertainty, even if we succeed, the brain just creates a bigger uncertainty (and more anxiety) until we have reached a point where we cannot solve this uncertainty anymore“. What was the title again?
have to remember what I read randomly it may be newspaper dates, boards, pampletes etc just to confirm that I have recalled correctly if not it causes anxiety what is it also takes up all my concentration also which is a major issue
@@everybodyhasabrain thanks for your reply, i was suffering this issue from 6 years now it is at a point that i cannot step out of my home and going to college which is very uncertain evironment is not possible but i have to go and comes back with a lot of doubts even i have to remember the colur of tshirt what he has in his hands if not i have to go back and see again which makes me paralysed and i cannot concentrate on my work effectively
@@letsgrow1431 All of those are very common compulsions. It's totally possible to cut them out. One thing that jumps out is you're saying "I have to" but you don't have to. It might create a lot of anxiety if you don't choose the compulsion, but it is a choice. And it is possible to make different choices if you want to leave the OCD behind.
Thank you sooooo much I thought my memory has a flow or something and that I couldn't remember shit and you just help me soooo much, thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much, I'm really happy, atleast now I know I'm not going insane 😂😂😂I'm really relieved although I can't be a 100 % sure that this is exactly what's wrong with me, but almost all of it I can relate and understand it. Imay have more complicated thoughts or guilt feeling to it, but this helps although it's kindda scary not going to lie, thanks. 😁😁😁😊😊❤️❤️❤️❤️
Sorry for making this too long, but is it normal to not be sure if it a memory, a dream, or a thought. I sometimes ask myself if it's a memory or a thought because I go down that bath alot and overthink everything and I feel crazy and hopeless and like I should hide it, and I just can't help but wonder if it one day will go away if it even curable
It helped me to see that this kind of checking for reassurance and judging brain stuff is the compulsion that keeps it going. It's brain stuff. It's all weather. We can notice the weather we experience and give our time and energy to doing things we value.
Hi Mark, Just wanted to say thank you for all the videos!! They are so helpful and the warmth and humour you put into them is great. And with the right level of no-nonsense coaching! Thank you so much and keep the vids coming. :-) (PS. Do you not update your Facebook page anymore?)
Thanks! I'm back at making videos regularly again so more on the way. I took some time off from videos to work on a book so that's coming, too. But as for Facebook, I don't really use it anymore. I'll probably close it down soon. I'm on Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr, and Instagram and post on those regularly.
I feel there is another type of thought in me that doesn't aim at a compulsion. And that is plain sadness. I yesterday read a book title about ocd that had the subtitle" A life lost in thought". And I thought about what I would have experienced if I didn't have these issues. So imagined how beautiful everything might be. And now I have this strong yearning to undo the past. I know I can't undo the past and so this sadness just is there. I think it's not even related much to any issues. It's just sort of raw human pain. There is a scene in "little Miss Sunshin", starring Steve Carrell, in which the old grandfather goes on and on about his grandchild not losing time to experience life. And that's how I feel. It's a kind of raw despair that you can sit with but the poisonous sting within which is its unlikelihood of cessation. (There might be a component to it that is hostile, saying You wasted your precious time. The times that should have been your best ones are over and you made them hell ... But that's just an aspect.)
+1Kilili That sounds like a very normal compulsion. You're judging yourself, judging how you feel, ruminating about the past, wanting to control the past... it's only natural that engaging in those compulsions would lead to being sad.
Hi mark! Just started watching your videos! I’m on the road to recovery after I had my theme of false memory come back just last year! I use to have false memories about my child with just thoughts and groinal response. This year after having my baby these thoughts have turned towards feelings and urges. Why do urges feel so real and how can I react when urges start coming in with images as well.
Thanks for watching! Something I'd look at here are the judgments and meanings you're attaching to experiences like urges, memories, images, etc. Especially the idea of "real" urges. That's all just stuff in our heads. But if we're judging and categorizing that stuff and we do a bunch of compulsions if we judge something as "real", then it's natural the brain just throws up lots of whatever we label as real, because the brain is just craving compulsions. So it helped me to see we don't have to do compulsions for any brain stuff. And we don't have to do anything with it or to it. When an image pops up, you can continue doing whatever it was you were doing before the image popped up. It can be there. It's no different than seeing a cloud in the sky. That cloud doesn't have to control you. Here's a video exploring judgments further and how they start us on compulsions: th-cam.com/video/OOG69xMswB0/w-d-xo.html
I don't really understand the video. I have constant false memories of abuse, especially when I'm anxious and triggered it's always a what if situation. What do I do?
I find it helpful to approach all brain stuff as brain stuff. That includes dreams or day dreams and everything in between. Checking for reassurance about whether it's possible to know for certain "deep down" is a common reassurance compulsion and it suggest you're also doing compulsions to check if you really know and feel something deep down, but that's exactly the compulsion that's fueling these challenges, so it's useful to cut that out.
I've always struggled with self-depreciation or hateful comments towards myself whenever I get caught up in these types of situations. The best advice I ever got is to pretend I was hearing someone say those things to my best friend. It immediately switches your brain into a more compassionate mindset. One of the benefits of living with anxiety is being able to empathize deeply with people who are suffering, and we don't stand for it.
Mark I got to thank you,you really acted out that banana scene so those of us with o.c.d. could really see what is going on! I am stronger after that no kidding! I got my o.c.d. from hypothyroidism, the doctor gave me synthroid it made me sick as hell,lost 25 pounds in one week cried everyday finally developed into o.c.d..I finally got doctor to prescribe me a natural , armour thyroid,I'm getting better but still have the o.c.d.I have to get all answers to everything,I will hear just a piece of a song in my head and will have to remember the whole song,I have to carry binoculars around with me cause if I see something in the distance don't look right I have to pull out my binoculars and see it close up.other symptoms I have depression anxiety bad memory off balance etc.
Hi Gary, no problem. Thanks for the comments. Maybe your question got cut off by the word limit in the other video because the only question in the comment is asking if you can ask a question. Try sending any questions you'd like to ask through TH-cam's email or through Facebook so there won't be a word limit. I'll try to answer them if I can.
@djfhfh But you're describing the compulsion. Trying to chase that is the same as somebody with a hand washing compulsion just washing their hands over and over again trying to get a feeling that they know they're clean. Choosing compulsions like that only creates more struggle
As you've noticed, "solving" the thought just makes it happen more. And trying to push it away only tells your brain that it's important. What works really well is just agreeing with the thought, accepting the possibility, and then carrying about your day and acting according to your values. This shows your brain that the thought doesn't matter. But you have to show your brain with actions. Arguing only makes it worse
Yes but how do you agree with a thought if it’s something abhorrent to you
hey mark what do you mean by agreeing with the thought and we're not supposed to engage with them?
OH MY GOD YOU JUST SAVED MY LIFE
Thank you this resonates with me.
You just be comfortable in uncomfortable situations and incase of any negatives thoughts just say no brain or focus shifting your action to the values{cognitive diffusion}
"What if it's not even a banana?"
OH MY GOD, this is so spot on, ahaha.
ha ha!! true!
Way too real! (or unreal!)
Wow this just hit me, so true lol.
This is so dead on about how the ocd mind goes on and on about something......searching for answers. I live this quite frequently. Currently as a matter of fact. When you were doing the banana thing...it really hit home...had to comment right then. Now I'm going to finish watching it...thanks for your insight.
It is difficult but so is running or mountain climbing. Healthy exercises are generally difficult at first and they make you sweat and wear you out. But imagine if every time you went for a run, as soon as you started to sweat, you tried to "calm" your sweating. You'd never get good at running. The same is true for anxiety. If you try to stop feeling anxiety, you're never going to improve your ability to handle anxiety.
I'm glad I ran across your video. I have had OCD my entire life, and today is a bad day with my "false memory OCD" and all the "WHAT IF???" questions. You're video made me laugh and brought comfort. Thank you!
I can't believe I've only just found this video, having watched nearly all the others. This is just brilliant. Mark - I heart you.
Thanks!
This is the perfect analogy! I have never heard someone explain ocd so well. Thank you! This made me feel so much better about having a terrible OCD day.
From one OCD sufferer to another, thank you! Your videos are very ensightful and I have found them to be extremely motivational on my road to beating my own irrational obsessions.
I am not a psychologist I just experienced these problems are still have them. But I've just Accepted them they are part of me you can't hate your self I still experience these thoughts but I sit back and let them flow.
You did it again Mark 2:25 -:"The banana is real, but it's me that's not real" hahahaha
"People say I'm good at thinking" I lost it here, you're awesome.
mark, this is truly one of the most brilliant youtube videos I have ever seen. your mind and your approach and your humor make for a powerful message!
Thank you for the kind words, Jennifer!
You are awesome! You're videos give me hope and inspiration. I'v been suffering from OCD my whole life but only within the last few years have come to understand that. It comes and goes, but I really determined to finally overcome it for good!
I hope the best for everyone here ❤ sending strength
This video changed my entire perspective on OCD. I was struggling so badly back in 2013 but I found this channel, and my whole life changed.
I'm glad this video was useful on your adventure!
The first time I watched this I said to myself, “this is EXACTLY what I’m doing”
hahahaha wow.. Thank you for making this video. It really helped me laugh at myself. I've been driving myself crazy lately and this made me feel better for at least a little while.
How are you now?
Extremely helpful video they are start out as thoughts, exactly right when you label them you are showing your brain importance It doesn't matter if they go away or not they are still just thoughts. If you search the definition of thought they are just ideas in your head doesn't necessarily mean they have happened or not. Doesn't matter if it's graphical or whatever you call an image sound or your self sound box.
Your videos are everything to me. I feel the need to check things over and over again and it's gotten worse this summer. If I don't check them, I feel like something terrible is going to happen to me. To add to this, I have memories about did I really check the things I should check? It's very tiring to live this way, but thanks to you, I'm relief to know that I'm not the only one with this.
I just found your videos, they are amazing, they're helping me so so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you! 😊😊
you're welcome!
this gets tricky when you don´t remember if you stole the banana from someone you love, because this leads to 2 ends, a) you conclude that most probably you stole the banana and you live in guilt because you hurt the feelings of a love one stealing their banana, and at the same time you know that this may be all false and that you're living in guilt because of a false a memory, or b) you determine that it's just anxiety and that you didn't stole that banana, but when you think that, there comes and urge that tells you that you did something awful and you're just avoiding that by saying that is just anxiety. the days go by and at all times you remember the banana, and any conclusion or finale that you give to the thought ends and you have the urge again to rethink the whole steal-of-the-banana situation. i can´t live like this, i just want to know if i should feel guilty or just pass over all this.
Just wanted to say thank you for all these videos. Got a lot of confirmation on things that I needed. Really appreciate it. Certainly no steps backward. Only forward.
Thanks! I'm glad the videos are helping. It's tough living with OCD for a long time but keep pushing with recovery. It really is possible to see a big change and ditch the old compulsions. Just breathe and be present!
Mark Freeman Can doubt lead to false memories??
This video brought me tears of happiness that someone understands
WOW, this is actually making me laugh. I have False Memory OCD, Pure O, OCD and Borderline Personality Disorder. The way you are expressing EVERYTHING here is what goes on in my head. You are SO clever!!!!!
Thanks, Robert. That's great to hear. All the best as you continue along the road to recovery!
Earlier today I convinced myself that I had swallowed my cat’s thyroid medication, even though I would literally never do that. Spent hours looking online looking at side effects and having a panic attack.
This video is so funny, and everytime (yeah i have wached it many times) it remind me that my OCD is just in my head and why I need to keep fight it. THank you so much for this video it has helped me so many times.
You're welcome! Glad it helped (many times)!
Hey Mark,
I think this also applies to the frequent question of "when is too much? "And did I do it right? Is it okay?" questions that anxiety leads to. You know if you did it right, and if you did it okay. You just have to trust yourself and then accept contradictory thoughts if they occur.
Cheers for the video!
Thanks! Yes, labeling that weather in our heads can seem really appealing and like we need to do it. But it's so much healthier to just let it be.
it's sooo accurate! I was having a panic attack because of an intrusive thought that popped in my head about a past fact that I am really scared of.
The anxiety was growing and growing and becoming overwhelming.
I felt the urge to check if It really happened, if it was true or not, if it could happen again...
I wanted to check on the Internet if it already happened to somebody else and how they got over it etc..... and then I thought it was better to look for one of your videos.. they're always helpful.
I find it really hard to accept some thoughts when it scares you that much. I don't know how to do it when it's something you really really really don't want?
I've been struggling with ocd for two years now. it gets better thanks to you, to Stuart Ralph, to my therapist and thanks to me also but sometimes it comes back harder for a while...
That's great you didn't go seeking reassurance online! Keep up the hard work of cutting out those compulsions.
Great video! This is exactly what I do. Analyze thoughts that I had in my past sometimes as far back as 30 years ago!! I analyze them and try and think exactly how I felt then, and then determine if I really have OCD, or if it's really something else. Ugh! It's so annoying.
I get you on this. Isn't it something how our minds can take us so far back? I feel it's always trying to find something for me to dwell on and feel bad or guilty about.
Mark, you don't have any idea how important you are to us! Thank you so much man!
That is very kind of you! :)
@@everybodyhasabrain 😇😊
Thanks! I'm glad they're helping. It's totally normal to get angry when you first hear this kind of stuff. Recovery doesn't make sense, it just makes you healthy.
Mark, ur my boy. You’ve helped me with so much brain shit. Much love
Thanks, Cameron! I'm glad you've found these tools useful with cleaning up the brain shit!
So the choice is only one: be sure o recover! Thanks for all the resources you post on this channel! I'm actually a bit plagued by obsessive doubting about my everyday and long term choices and I fond myself using rationalization like "It's the last time" "Maybe you didn't analyze well the question" "This new information can change everything". Now everyday i'm trying to respond only to this question: "Do you want to recover or to be sure?" And I know for SURE what i want because I FEEL it. I find that people with OCD a lot of times struggle to trust themselves and the evidence that we can see at first glance. The reason makes our perception of things dirty and uncertain, we tend to doubt also what we should consider as granted (es. the love for a partner, our values and goals in life etc...) . Maybe we should also trust more our instinct and "gut" (and no, I don't mean our fears and anxieties but the healthy part of us).
I find it useful to use values to guide my actions and decisions. Trying to trust gut or instinct can naturally get you into lots of the doubting and compulsions you described.
@@everybodyhasabrain yeah but if i follow my values I tend to be perfectionist and rigid... All my doubts are based on strict (and useless) rules to "preserve energy". For example "Should I stop talking to preserve energy?" or "should i close my eyes to gain more energy?". So the process of optimize things becomes instead a big distress to me. I recognized that I should let go this rigid rules and the doubts that are related (also because i don't think this rigidity can be part of a satysfing life), but when I meet the doubt it seems like I have no certainty about this decision and I am in denial, so the urge is to redo the analys of the rules because they could be helpful. It is getting better but it's really difficult lol
@Carlo Valentini Okay, but you see that, so there's not really an excuse to keep doing that, fully aware that it's a compulsion. You can approach values differently and not turn them into compulsions. What you described above is like saying: "When I drive my car I always crash it into walls, so driving is a problem." ... you can drive differently if you want. Driving doesn't inherently require crashing into walls, just like values don't inherently require turning them into compulsions, especially when we're aware that can happen.
@@everybodyhasabrain thx, I'm really trying to ignore thoughts as much as possible. Now i have also put sticky notes where I study that remember me that if I want to recover I need to avoid chasing certainty.
@@everybodyhasabrain dude your advices and videos really helped me to deep-understanding OCD! Thank you so much.
When an intrusive memory comes I tell myself"it's ocd I don't know if it's real or not"and then I try to move on sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't wat do u think
That sounds like a lot of labelling to me. What's an intrusive memory? What's OCD? All stuff in your head is stuff in your head. By choosing to use labels, you set yourself up for your brain questioning whether that's the right label or not. But if you just accept the stuff in your head and move on to doing what you value in life, then you don't have to worry about whether the label is right or not. It's just stuff in your head. It doesn't have to run your life.
@@everybodyhasabrain thank god for you man.
You're welcome! The things we all do in our heads are truly amazing.
I always come back to this video when OCD starts making me question my self. Thank you! Nailed it 😂
You are a good banana. This is very down into the nuts and bolts of what many people are working through. A refreshing approach indeed.
Thanks, I'm glad the videos are helping. Keep pushing along this path!
But the great thing is that we can recover and we don't have to suffer with this.
Another variation on this would be those who keep questioning themselves as to whether they might have already done some of these things, either very recently, or in the past
Hmmmmmm... I actually made this video in response to that very question. Maybe give it another watch. "Real" is just a label you stick on a banana, or a thought. All thoughts are "real" thoughts in that you really thought them. It's all just weather passing over you. OCD is in your reactions to thoughts, not your thoughts.
Wow this is actually so accurate. I always go over and over things in my head in this manner and put judgments and get upset for seemingly no reason bc like you said it's just a thought. Stop trying to label it... Thank you so much. Your videos are really helping me think rationally with my OCD.
That's great. I'm glad they're helping!
:)
I fall in this trap really badly! i get this big feeling of guilt or fear and feel like no escape
This channel is brilliant !
“Bananas are just bananas 🍌” is my new favorite phrase.
Thank you!
Many years later this is still incredibly powerful!
Thanks so much! I'm glad the videos helped. All the best on this healthy journey you're on.
Omg I do almost everything in these videos and I never thought that it would've been OCD because I'm not the most organized and beat person but now I know that that's just a stereotype.
It's definitely a sterotype. I totally understand you though, I thought I couldn't have OCD since my intrusive thoughts weren't germ based. That all changed when I took psychology last semester, my professor taught us that there were other forms, and sure enough I found myself pieces of myself in her lecture. I was surprised to find out there are other forms of OCD other than contamination OCD.
Also I want to thank you so much for trying to help me through this tough time....
Many Thanks for yet again another fantastic video. I should comment a lot more on your videos. Great to see all these helpful videos for our disorder.
Had attended a wedding this weekend drank somewhat heavily nothing crazy,but several days after I'm peicing together everything I remember and what I can't remember I'm filling in the blanks with thinking I said or did something stupid but deep down I know I didnt, hate over analyzing even days after.
Check out my videos on finding the root of your fear: "OCD is a weed..." and the video on "Harm O". But it's basically going to come down to finding out why you're afraid of death and understanding that's probably just a superficial symptom of a much bigger role OCD is playing in your life. With ERP, you should always follow some kind of program. Just launching into the thing that's bothering you the most is really tough. Build up your anxiety hugging abilities throughout your life.
Your videos and way sof tackling a topic aresooo refreshing
thanks mark, I thought I was the only one thinking like this
"i think there were maybe six clouds in the sky when i bought this banana, so i'm pretty sure it's a real banana" omg yes
🍌☁️🍌☁️🍌☁️
Stomach is hurting from me laughing 🤣such a brilliant video
omg :56 to 2:57. LITERALLY what I did with my memories when my OCD was at its worst. Again. Thank you for this.
Weather passing over the soul! Excellent!!
Brilliant. I keep getting stuck on thinking that some thoughts are more real than others. The banana part made me laugh out loud! Certian days I have this cloud hanging over my head (such as today), with a neckpain and headache. I feel so anxious and I cannot put my finger on why. I keep thinking on (feeling for) labelling things as "real love" and "unreal love". "Happiness" and not. Very frustrating. Despite this, when I am on a good mood, all of this is non-existant!!
Thanks! I hope it gives you some useful tools for accepting the thoughts bouncing around up there.
"People say I'm good at thinking." Hahahahahaha.
My problem is I keep thinking about stuff from a while back ago, and I always feel like I did something bad. It's hard for me to let it go because I feel like if I just let it go and I really did do something bad then I'm just letting myself get away with it but on the other hand it could be my ocd imagination taking something that wasn't that bad and making it bad. Do you have any advice for that? I feel like a horrible person all the time because of it, and I feel like no one understands.
This is a really common issue with OCD so any therapist with a track-record of helping people overcome OCD should be able to work with you on it. Judgment is a big part of OCD and one of the really unhealthy compulsions we can get trapped in engaging constantly. Even the belief that "nobody understands me" is a common OCD symptom--it's all about judging ourselves and judging others and letting those judgments become barriers between us. So learning to not judge things and practice acceptance was a huge help for me in overcoming this. There's nothing healthy I can do in the past so obsessing about the past and judging myself or others is completely useless to me doing healthy things in the present. Learning to practice mindfulness and be in the present has helped as well. Making a conscious decision about where to put your awareness can help bring your focus to things you want to focus on. It takes practice but your mind doesn't to have think about stuff from the past.
There are many different things you can do to help in overcoming this so I hope you continue to gather together supports to help you on the journey!
***** Thank you for the advice! It is so nice to hear it from someone who knows what its like to have OCD. It's hard cause I only know one person in my life who has OCD and that is my dad, but he refuses to get help, but I want to get better and not let it control the rest of my life. I have a hard time letting my past go, but you are absolutely right and we can do nothing about the past and that we should focus on the "now" and make that the best we possibly can. All I want is just to get better. My OCD has gotten so overbearing lately that I can barely do anything. I have like a form of Harm OCD and I'm afraid of hurting everything I'm near. I can't even sit next to someone on the couch or hug them without thinking I'm hurting them in some way. Alot of things I used to enjoy doing I can't even do now because of the fear and having the 'false' memories makes the fear even bigger because its like "well look what you did that time". I just hate OCD so much. I hope one day I can get past it or at least get it where its controllable. I'm seeing a therapist now and she is really helping me and she gave me a workbook to work on for it. I am so glad I found your videos though. I was having a very difficult day today with the OCD. To the point I was having suicidal thoughts, but I came to youtube and looked up to see if there was people who related to me and I came across your videos. Thank you very much for helping me and everyone else! It's truly a blessing. :)
ambyleeful That's great you have a therapist you're working on things with. There are difficult days with OCD but they're helpful--they drive us to get over it and make big changes in our lives so we don't fall back into OCD. It really is possible to recover from OCD but it does take lots of consistent work. It's just like getting into great physical shape--it doesn't happen overnight and it is a lot of hard work, but over time, the hard work becomes enjoyable, the benefits are obvious, and it frees you to do all sorts of things in life you hadn't thought possible. So keep pushing and gathering together supports to give fear big hugs every day!
I’m having the same issue right now :(
It feels like the end of the world.
Very good video, although I'm sure the problem isn't completely solved this has made me feel 100% better. Have a merry Christmas and a happy new year!
Thanks. Have a happy and healthy start to the new year!
Mark, this is brilliant! Although its a subject that I relate to in the exact way you describe it, I can't help but laugh at your delivery. Well done for making me laugh today! Kay
Thanks, Kay!
that is awesome and very helpful. thanks man
Thanks! Fixing the nuts and bolts is a healthy place to start.
Thanks! We're all really good at thinking!
I have hocd and I keep getting flashbacks to when I thought he about being gay or when I was attracted to the same-sex. It's so annoying because I'm pretty sure I never questioned my sexuality before :/
Hahahaha! Brilliant! Love watching ur videos! Might explain me commenting on the same ones over nover again: ) thanks Mark for all your help! Have to admit during my worst period on SIAD i was very angry with u (lol sorry!) But I've really grown to like what ur doing!
You're welcome! Keep pushing!
Hello I need help, I am worried about developing false memories and I have this compulsive note taking that makes me want to take notes of some events just to make sure it really happened and that my memories won't distort in the future. I also have compulsive picture taking and I would take lots of videos just to record pointless things for minutes on ends just so I don't forget or distort memories. It has gotten to the point where I can take a 1000 pictures in less than 1 week and I would constantly have to back up my phone.
Please help, I am really scared of false memories so I always rely on cameras and notes to make sure what happened really happened or what didn't happen didn't happen. Thank you!
Those compulsions will fuel the anxiety so I would suggest cutting them out. To get over the fear of "false memories", it can help to practice accepting the consequences and doing things you value. As long as you want to avoid "false memories", your brain will try to help you avoid then by giving you these intrusive thoughts. The more things you do to avoid them, the more your brain will give you these thoughts.
+Mark Freeman Thank you and I will do my best. I'll look more into the ERP in your videos!
@@GUNSFOREVER1 hi, it's been years... Have you recovered?
SO funny, and spot on bro. This sounds a lot like my daily internal dialogue :p
Goosebumps. Thank you.
You're welcome!
Yes..so true. I have good days and bad days. Somedays I feel like I'm getting it and some days I feel I'll never recover. I guess that's the two steps forward one step back sort of thing. I can't believe I never thought I had OCD until I was diagnosed and it all makes sense. I sometime think I'm doing the ERP training wrong but I guess it takes time to master right?
Yes, the more you do it, the better you'll get at it, the more you'll learn about how your brain works, the more you'll see it doesn't matter whether you think you can recover or not--recovery becomes the way you live everyday, not a place you visit once.
Hi Mark, I have been looking for your video where you made a great point regarding uncertainty acceptance in OCD, where you‘ve said „if we try to use a compulsion get rid of uncertainty, even if we succeed, the brain just creates a bigger uncertainty (and more anxiety) until we have reached a point where we cannot solve this uncertainty anymore“. What was the title again?
I just want to say thank you for your video.
You're welcome!
hahaha possibly the funniest thing ever. i really appreciate your ocd videos and you make recovery fun :) and it actually works
This is a really good video, thank you for making these
I have this problem especially lately, thank you for this.
have to remember what I read randomly it may be newspaper dates, boards, pampletes etc just to confirm that I have recalled correctly if not it causes anxiety what is it also takes up all my concentration also which is a major issue
That's a common compulsion. It's useful to cut out compulsions like that
@@everybodyhasabrain thanks for your reply, i was suffering this issue from 6 years now it is at a point that i cannot step out of my home and going to college which is very uncertain evironment is not possible but i have to go and comes back with a lot of doubts even i have to remember the colur of tshirt what he has in his hands if not i have to go back and see again which makes me paralysed and i cannot concentrate on my work effectively
@@letsgrow1431 All of those are very common compulsions. It's totally possible to cut them out. One thing that jumps out is you're saying "I have to" but you don't have to. It might create a lot of anxiety if you don't choose the compulsion, but it is a choice. And it is possible to make different choices if you want to leave the OCD behind.
@@everybodyhasabrain thank you
Thank you sooooo much I thought my memory has a flow or something and that I couldn't remember shit and you just help me soooo much, thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much, I'm really happy, atleast now I know I'm not going insane 😂😂😂I'm really relieved although I can't be a 100 % sure that this is exactly what's wrong with me, but almost all of it I can relate and understand it. Imay have more complicated thoughts or guilt feeling to it, but this helps although it's kindda scary not going to lie, thanks. 😁😁😁😊😊❤️❤️❤️❤️
Sorry for making this too long, but is it normal to not be sure if it a memory, a dream, or a thought.
I sometimes ask myself if it's a memory or a thought because I go down that bath alot and overthink everything and I feel crazy and hopeless and like I should hide it, and I just can't help but wonder if it one day will go away if it even curable
It helped me to see that this kind of checking for reassurance and judging brain stuff is the compulsion that keeps it going. It's brain stuff. It's all weather. We can notice the weather we experience and give our time and energy to doing things we value.
@@everybodyhasabrain thank you so much 😊♥️♥️
dude! these are great videos, so funny and accurate! many thanks!
Hi Mark, Just wanted to say thank you for all the videos!! They are so helpful and the warmth and humour you put into them is great. And with the right level of no-nonsense coaching! Thank you so much and keep the vids coming. :-)
(PS. Do you not update your Facebook page anymore?)
Thanks! I'm back at making videos regularly again so more on the way. I took some time off from videos to work on a book so that's coming, too. But as for Facebook, I don't really use it anymore. I'll probably close it down soon. I'm on Twitter, Pinterest, Tumblr, and Instagram and post on those regularly.
Thank you so much for helping us OCs
You are brilliant! Thank you 😊
I feel there is another type of thought in me that doesn't aim at a compulsion.
And that is plain sadness. I yesterday read a book title about ocd that had the subtitle" A life lost in thought".
And I thought about what I would have experienced if I didn't have these issues. So imagined how beautiful everything might be. And now I have this strong yearning to undo the past. I know I can't undo the past and so this sadness just is there. I think it's not even related much to any issues. It's just sort of raw human pain.
There is a scene in "little Miss Sunshin", starring Steve Carrell, in which the old grandfather goes on and on about his grandchild not losing time to experience life. And that's how I feel. It's a kind of raw despair that you can sit with but the poisonous sting within which is its unlikelihood of cessation.
(There might be a component to it that is hostile, saying You wasted your precious time. The times that should have been your best ones are over and you made them hell ... But that's just an aspect.)
+1Kilili That sounds like a very normal compulsion. You're judging yourself, judging how you feel, ruminating about the past, wanting to control the past... it's only natural that engaging in those compulsions would lead to being sad.
Hi mark! Just started watching your videos! I’m on the road to recovery after I had my theme of false memory come back just last year! I use to have false memories about my child with just thoughts and groinal response. This year after having my baby these thoughts have turned towards feelings and urges. Why do urges feel so real and how can I react when urges start coming in with images as well.
Thanks for watching! Something I'd look at here are the judgments and meanings you're attaching to experiences like urges, memories, images, etc. Especially the idea of "real" urges. That's all just stuff in our heads. But if we're judging and categorizing that stuff and we do a bunch of compulsions if we judge something as "real", then it's natural the brain just throws up lots of whatever we label as real, because the brain is just craving compulsions. So it helped me to see we don't have to do compulsions for any brain stuff. And we don't have to do anything with it or to it. When an image pops up, you can continue doing whatever it was you were doing before the image popped up. It can be there. It's no different than seeing a cloud in the sky. That cloud doesn't have to control you.
Here's a video exploring judgments further and how they start us on compulsions: th-cam.com/video/OOG69xMswB0/w-d-xo.html
U r an absolute legend. This is so helpful thank u!,
This is so true. Especially when you bring out the bananas.
this is amazing and so so accurate!
Thanks. I hope it helps.
I don't really understand the video. I have constant false memories of abuse, especially when I'm anxious and triggered it's always a what if situation. What do I do?
is it possible to know you deep down know you've not done this and still apply this to it? and also dreams are also memories right? :)
I find it helpful to approach all brain stuff as brain stuff. That includes dreams or day dreams and everything in between. Checking for reassurance about whether it's possible to know for certain "deep down" is a common reassurance compulsion and it suggest you're also doing compulsions to check if you really know and feel something deep down, but that's exactly the compulsion that's fueling these challenges, so it's useful to cut that out.
I am just so happy I am not alone
Brilliant video!!!
I've always struggled with self-depreciation or hateful comments towards myself whenever I get caught up in these types of situations. The best advice I ever got is to pretend I was hearing someone say those things to my best friend. It immediately switches your brain into a more compassionate mindset. One of the benefits of living with anxiety is being able to empathize deeply with people who are suffering, and we don't stand for it.
Mark I got to thank you,you really acted out that banana scene so those of us with o.c.d. could really see what is going on! I am stronger after that no kidding! I got my o.c.d. from hypothyroidism, the doctor gave me synthroid it made me sick as hell,lost 25 pounds in one week cried everyday finally developed into o.c.d..I finally got doctor to prescribe me a natural , armour thyroid,I'm getting better but still have the o.c.d.I have to get all answers to everything,I will hear just a piece of a song in my head and will have to remember the whole song,I have to carry binoculars around with me cause if I see something in the distance don't look right I have to pull out my binoculars and see it close up.other symptoms I have depression anxiety bad memory off balance etc.
Hi Gary, no problem. Thanks for the comments. Maybe your question got cut off by the word limit in the other video because the only question in the comment is asking if you can ask a question. Try sending any questions you'd like to ask through TH-cam's email or through Facebook so there won't be a word limit. I'll try to answer them if I can.
But how do you know if it really happened or not
@djfhfh But you're describing the compulsion. Trying to chase that is the same as somebody with a hand washing compulsion just washing their hands over and over again trying to get a feeling that they know they're clean. Choosing compulsions like that only creates more struggle