Leslie Nielsen's Greatest Naked Gun Lines
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2017
- Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) is the world's greatest detective, well, in his own little mind's world that is. Somehow his completely clueless excursions usually tend to work out in his favor and ends up saving the day time and time again.
This is a compilation of the greatest and most hilarious Nielsen lines from the Naked Gun Trilogy!
Get The Naked Gun:
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Get The Naked Gun 2 1/2:
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Get The Naked Gun 33 1/3 The Final Insult:
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"A white guy with a moustache, about 6 foot 3!"
"Awfully big moustache"
I love that line too.
Yeah 😂
He's not wrong.
I love that no matter how corny the jokes are, the way he delivers them somehow turns them super funny.
Lol i came here just for that line!!
"Do you gamble, lieutenant?" - "Every time I order out". This is gold.
That is definitely true.
I think its because people spit in cops food
😂
Many humans are dirty filths, who can't even keep themself clean, then how do you expect them to handle food, that they aint even gonna eat themself, when nobody else is watching. Good thing is the human stomach is a beast and can handle a lot.
@@zimbabwianjesus1369 KFC hasnt killed anyone
"He was innocent all along!"
"He went to the chair 2 years ago, Frank."
Look the missing evidence
wasn't it three years ago?
it was in his filing cabinet the whole time...🤣
Poor Kellner, they fried an innocent man! RIP
Lets also thank the writers who came up with these great lines
Very good point. They make the actors look smart, cool and funny.
Bogami da!
@@daypandanightowl My thoughts exactly!
From the scripts of Police Squad.
But no one could deliver them like Leslie Nielson 😂he was frank drebin
His analogies are the best:
"Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel things out."
"Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes."
Lmfao
Like a more colourfull and less depressing Max Payne.
Simile, actually 🙂
I'm going to use these one day.
33.3 is probably the weakest of the trilogy, but does have the best of those
"Frank, you haven't shot anyone in six months!"
"That's true. It's funny how you miss the little things."
@Jamie Nicholls he briefly passed off.
ffs 😂😂
Didn't he also say something like "The next time I shoot someone I could be arrested". That cracked me up
Hey, look, the missing evidence from the Kilner case. My God, he WAS innocent!
'he went to the chair two years ago Frank...'
@@listerofsmeg884 🤣🤣🤣🤣😅😅😅
Her: "Do you realize because of you, this city is being overrun by baboons?"
Frank: " Well isn't that the fault of the voters?"
How true.
🤣🤣🤣
Explains MAGA completely 🤣🤣
Bro, this line was wild 😂😂
@@kerzytibok3211bait
To say "greatest lines" is impossible when the entire series is pure gold.
I just wanna tell you good luck.....we're all counting on you 😂😂
Not Naked Gun but a line from Police Squad “We’re sorry to come at a time like this ma’am. We would’ve come earlier but your husband wasn’t dead then”
Cigarette?
@@martinputt6421 Yes I know.
God I really want to do that job for a day just so I can say this out loud and it make perfect sense.
Same title my guy
I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith!
“Who are you and how’d you get in here?”
“I’m a locksmith...and I’m a locksmith?”
Surely you can't be serious?!
@@markh.6687 he is serious. And don’t call him Shirley
@@Darkwolf7773 I'm afraid I can't tell you for another two hours....
The feeling is mutual
@@markh.6687 You can't take a guess for another two hours?
"Is this some kind of bust?"
"Well, it's very impressive yes, but we need to ask you a few questions."
Jane: Nightcap? Frank: No thank you. I don't wear one. Lol.
"I was surrounded by pimps, rapists, and murderers. It was like being in the stands at a Raiders game."
I didn't start following the Raiders until they returned to Oakland. I'm too young to remember their time in Los Angeles.
@@TheInkPitOx Don't worry, the quote is still remarkably true.
@@Darkswordz Its sad that a savage joke like that wouldn't even be allowed in today's cinema.
@@Jebu911 - joke?
Ironically still relevant
The genius of the Naked Gun is that Frank Drebben does seem to know he's in a movie... but he seems utterly convinced it's an action movie and not a ridiculous comedy.
I thought they started with an a/m, but changed it to comedy when they previewed and reviewed the cut footage.
I hypothesize someone with a German or eastern European helped put it together and when it was reviewed once or twice it just got more hilarious.
Just my honest take on the materials reviewed.
Generally most things of genius come by accident.
Nah it was comedy through and through. It span off from a TV series called Police Squad (which is also hilarious). Written by the guys who did Airplane.
you want funny? check out the kentucky fried movie from (1977) that's done by those same guys too.. but warning don't let kids watch it it's so not a movie for kids
I´ve read, that Leslie Nielsen was able to talk those lines without even smiling. He was dead serious, no matter what he said. That was his talent. Every other actor who auditioned cracked and started laughing.
He gave an interview once where he said the reason it worked was he delivered the lines as serious/honest, and let the situation and writing make it funny. He said if I had ever tried to act as a comedian, it would never have worked.
“Do you speak French, Lieutenant?”
“No, but I do kiss that way.”
I seriously can't believe how Leslie Nielsen could deliver those lines without cracking up, even less with such a straight face
Probably because he played serious roles before getting cast in Police Squad!, so he was used to keeping his cool.
Multiple takes
Do you think they only do one take?
"Drebin!"
"Frank!"
"You're both right."
This is the best line in the whole movie
" like a blind man in a orgy i was gonna have to feel things out" best line ever!
Not even close.
"I like my sex the way I played basketball...One on one and with as little dribbling as possible"
I was sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish market.
"Like a midget at a urinal, I was gonna have to stay on my toes."
Fuken mad
I like, "Like a eunuch in an orgy, I'm just gonna have to watch!"
“Like a blind man at an orgy, I was gonna have to feel things out.” I love these darn movies. I laugh my ass to tears every time I watch them.
Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes 😂. I, too, love these movies.
I just love how he always looks confused and at the end he always solves the case and saves the world, love Leslie Nielsen
"Like a midget at a urinal, i was gonna have to stay on my toes." 😂😂😂
😂
Lol. "Like a blind man in an orgy, i will have to feel my way around"
Lmao love it!
@Furio ah yes, thats it, thank you my good man 😁
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I miss Leslie Neilsen...guy started out doing serious roles but always wanted to do comedy then finally got the chance and nailed it every time....
yes...he was in forbidden planet.. great film
As good as he was as a serious actor, Nielsen really found his niche...and his legend...when he went into comedy. I miss him also.
I CAN HOLD MY BREATH FOR A LONG, LONG TIME!!!!!!!!
Creep show
"...and don't call me Shirley."
I saw Leslie Nielsen in a episode of Columbo, always waited for the jokes. ^^
It's really amazing that Nielsen spent most of his career as an evil heavy, and it turns out he was really great at comedy.
Seriously, what movie was it where Leslie Nielsen was the bad guy, with Ted friggin' Danson (Sam,from "Cheers") and...the beach? That movie was awesome!
@@itmademesignup9508 "Creepshow" if I remember correctly
The third or fourth segment.
He did a great job at being a villain in Gunsmoke playing Jess Trevor. He kicked ass.
THAT’s why these are so funny!
Steve Howe, Mister EIGHT Last Chances!!!
"Do you gamble luitenent? "
"Every time I order out" 😂😂
"He was Caucasian, with a mustache, about 6 foot 3."
"Awfully big mustache..."
😂😂😂
😂
😂😂😂
"This place changes you"
" Yeah? In what way?"
" I used to be white. I was a drummer for the Osmonds"
" He'll make you feel pain like yo never felt before"
" I know. I remember the Osmonds"
"This place here changes a man."
"Oh yeah? In what way?"
*"I used to be white."*
One of the best lines of all time
Foster brooks line to Ali on Dean Martin
I was the drummer for the Osmonds.
I wonder what was Drebin thinking when the other cell mate said that. 😂
Nowadays this dioalog would be prohibited!
My dad was a cop and had a new guy show up to work and was talking to my dad while he was at his desk. My dad remember this scene 3:06 and pulled out a file and said that same line.....lol 🤣! He said the look on the rookies face was both terror and trying not to laugh at the same time.
😂😂😂😂
Leslie Nielsen and Lloyd Bridges are the two dead-pan comedy actors I think can never be replicated or topped. Just class!
Dan Aykroyd as well (he’s still alive though).
I would also have to say Tim Conway! RIP
Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue
Missed one of my favourites:
"When you're husband wakes up, he's always welcome back on Police Squad"
"Unless he's a drooling vegetable, but that's just common sense."
I mean, he’s not wrong. 🤷♂️
Not a man's gonna rest until we bring your husband's shooter to justice....now, how about some lunch
they missed mine too:
"What would a boxer be doing in the red light district?"
"Sex, Frank?"
"not now Ed, we've got workto do."
“She reminded me of my mother alright.” Best punchline ever.
Probably Not my name ...no doubt about it.
Con Man You’re right it’s probably not your name
It's such a good line.
I love it, though I prefer "I'm such a lucky woman." Frank: "So am I"
"Snap out of it Frank! You're looking at her like she was your mother for Christ's sake."
"Drebin?"
"Frank?"
"You're both right."
"I didnt see your name on the guest list"
"Nothing to be embarrassed about, I sometimes go by maiden name"
🤨
Brilliant!
Mimi: "Is this some kind of bust?"
Frank: "well it's very impressive yes, but we need to ask you a few questions."
They carried that one over from the Police Squad! TV show.
@@zagnorch1336 in color!
😂😂😂
He was the master of deadpan comedy. He is truly missed.
I used to think this was the dumbest humor ever in a movie...yet here I am laughing my brains out 34 years later...just as I did when it first came out 😆. There's just something about deadpan humor that makes me laugh, and Leslie Nielson was the master of that.
The days of Leslie Nielsen and Peter Sellers were golden! 👍
Hey would you be interested in a Naked Gun fanfic?
it was very dumb humor, but it was delivered in a genius way. it's pretty timeless.
"I just think about baseball". LN can really deliver a line.
"They mean long hours, dangerous nights, and being surrounded by some of the scummiest elements in our society"
"You want me to be in your cabinet?"
That's a new level of savagery right there.
But soooooooooooooooooo accurate.
I still understand what that means can sum1 please tell me
@@jakehughes735 the joke is that the President’s cabinet would be filled with politicians.
@@warden-1894 Ohhhhhhhhh😂😂😂😂thanks my guy
What's funnier is, politicians continue to be passionate about living up to that description to this day.
"You might end up dead is my middle name."
"What about Jane?"
"I don't know her middle name."
- Frank!
- Drebin!
- You're both right!
😂😂😂
How he kept a straight face delivering some of those lines was incredible!!!!
The king of deadpan delivery
He was a serious actor. His trick was just to play it dead serious. Brilliant.
there must have been many takes
YES 😂
Do you think they filmed these scenes, on the first take 🤣🤣
“Do you gamble lieutenant?”
“Every time I order out”
That delivery had me dead 😂😂😂😂😂
Funniest shhhh ever 😂😂 😂
Don't get it. Explain please, I am foreign.
@@TheFaveteLinguis Some places aren't that clean and you could get sick, not so bad nowadays with Yelp.
Well, this is relevant now. Lmao.
Norman Dowser No, it’s because a lot of restaurants cheat on take outs because they assume you’ll be home and too lazy to come back and complain.
Maybe they put less, or they give you something else, stuff like that.
“You ever take any risks?” “Every time I order out.” Lol
I quote Leslie Nielson constantly, It's great when someone actually gets it. It makes all the weird looks I get worth it.
"Cuban?"
"No, Dutch-Irish. My father was from Wales."
Lmaooooo
sticksman1979 haha his seriousness kills me everytime.
*Scot-Irish
Best part of that quote is that Wales isn't in Ireland or the Netherlands.
In the French translation, he says: No, Anglo-Irish, my father was Swiss-German.
"Nice beaver." Most awkward moment I've had in a movie theatre with my dad sitting next to me.
My mate burst out laughing while watching this (at home though) and his dad gave him the suspicious side eye, he was about 11 at the time lol
Really my dad was cracking up 🤣
Funniest line in the movie! Not sure why that would be "awkward", unless your dad's an extreme prude...or maybe Amish.
Mennonite. Which is closely related to Amish but different? Yeah, still awkward
@@bradkehler4685
Apparently, I pretty much nailed it. Surprised that Mennonites even watch movies...particularly featuring bawdy humor.
Leslie Nielsen had that old school comedy style, not like today's comedians. He was the man, a legend! He is missed!
The term you're looking for is "deadpan". Utter nonsense or hilarity comes out while still maintaining a straight face. 😆
He wasn't a comedian
@@hoaacres7084 well, he was, but he was the straight man and a damn good one. the more serious he was during the chaos, the funnier he was.
I'm crying with laughter! Leslie was the master of the deadpan one liner - I miss him so much!
We all miss that great man
"You might end up dead!"
"You might end up dead is my middle name!"
"What about Jane?"
"I don't know her middle name..."
I'm literally dying everytime, best line ever!
Might be the reason why their marriage is unsteady.
Some of these and Inspector Cluosoe jokes remind me of what an autistic person might answer.
When GK said how about Jane I thought for should sure he was going to say I like the middle name I got.
I see you don't know what "literally" means.
"He'll make you feel pain like you've never felt before."
"I know, I remember the Osmonds."
By far my favourite line ...
Would you be interested in a Naked Gun fanfic?
A legend of his trade… Absolutely unique in style - there wasn’t one like him beforehand and unlikely to be one like him again!
Still makes me laugh out loud! 💪
When i moved into my first house when i left my parents i found an old vcr player and the naked gun trilogy. Watched them all hundreds of times. Great find
Rest in peace Nielsen. One of the few people that could make my miserable ass laugh.
Joseph x
Felt that one.
Sorry it is hard for you to laugh. Sincerely.
"Jane, how are the children."
'We never had any.'
"Oh".....
lol!
Will be me as a parent
Never get bored of Naked Gun, utterly hilarious 😂
Brilliantly written and perfectly delivered one-lines. No one will ever do it better
“We haven’t had a night like that in a long time.”
“Not with each other.”
As I was scrolling the comments, I was reading this one as the line happened.
Weird.
Sounds like a joke Rodney Dangerfield would make.
@@TheStapleGunKid The Rodney joke was "My therapist told my wife and me to have sex 3 times a week. Now we'll never see each other." 😊
Suppose it’s not really one line but that scene where Frank and a crook are bribing each other back and forth borrowing money off each other is class. I just have to think about it to laugh.
Yea. That one is up there with the umpire scene. lol
"Can you spot me a twenty"
"Yeah sure, here you go"
"Thanks.... How about now?!"
*Takes back money*
That scene was when I knew this movie was gold.
"Do you...gamble, lieutenant?"
"Everytime I order out."
It's been scientifically proven that there can be no better video than a best-of Leslie Nielsen video.
"Didnt i want to adopt that 18 yr old Korean girl?" I almost pissed myself
Whe the movie came out I was stationed in Korea & the theater was full of GIs & Koreans. All the GIs went nuts with that line & Koreans didn't get it at all.👍
M Hos
I‘d rather guess they didn’t think that’s funny.
“You do realize that because of you, this city is overrun by baboons?”
“Well, isn’t that the fault of the voters?”
Ba-dum-tisst
NomadOne33 I really want to like this but it’s at 420 likes.
Edit: I have liked since it is no longer at 420 likes.
@@koolkooldood1393 it's over five hundred already
"I want a world where the Democrats will put somebody up here worth voting for!"
Most Golden gold XD
@Ilse B Jesus Christ get a load of this guy.
"Cuban?"
"Ah, no, Dutch Irish. My father was from Wales."
Nordberg: "Heroine Frank......heroine....."
Drebin: "That's a tall order Nordberg....you've got to give me a few days on that one".
Hapsburg: "I don't recall seeing your name on the guest list."
Frank: "Nothing to be embarassed about. I sometimes go by my maiden name."
my love songs I see a lot of familiar face lifts here
"Blowing away a fleeing suspect with my .44 Magnum used to be everything to me. I enjoyed it... well, who wouldn't?
Michael Wainscott haha
Way, way ahead of time. Who knew.
Just genius from Leslie Nielsen. Can watch these movies over and over and still cracks me up.
A super good straight faced actor, delivering line after line, of comedy gold
Are you still around? Just wondering.
“When she told me to : “Get out of my life forever!” I knew it was over.”
Frank Drebin
God I miss this kind of quick and witty humor...
Yup, it's much like the Ozone, you don't miss it until its gone.
Me too.
It's not quick witted though, it's not like it's live...
@@mrcaboosevg6089 Actually, Police Squad got cancelled _because_ the humor was too smart.
you know he has writers, right?
Lady "Is this some kind of bust?"
Frank: "Well, it's very impressive, yes, but we need to ask you few questions."
Absolute LEGEND. Funny even today and will be forever
"Next time I shoot a man, I could get arrested!"
😢
Missed one of the best ones:
Drebin undercover as a locksmith, breaks into a suspect's office and is discovered
"Who are you? How'd you get in here?"
"I'm a locksmith... and ... I'm a locksmith..."
Wasn't that Police Squad and not Naked Gun??
Indeed it was Police Squad. But a great line anyway!
"I'm Al Ocksmith, and I'm a locksmith!"
ExaltedDuck Didn’t he also include a line about his key store (keyster)? Classic comedy!
@@kjamison5951 *Bad dude* "Nice place. Y'know this is a rough neighbourhood. Bet you'd hate to have something happen to your little key store"
*Drebin* "What about my little keister?"
*Bad dude* "Key *STORE*"
4:15 I'm dead xD
He'll make you feel pain like you never felt before.
Yes, i remember The Osmonds. 😂😂😂😂
"The next time I shoot somebody... I could be arrested”. This movie was ahead of it's time.
I was looking for this comment
Hahaha there’s a line in one of them where they recognize him for shooting more drug dealers than any other cop and he goes “to be fair, I accidentally hit one with my car while changing the radio. Fortunately he happened to be a drug dealer”
No. It was not ahead of its time. It has been like this for centuries. But it is only now that we're catching up and protesting to a minimally adequate scale.
Not sure if this movie could be made.
Or even "I wanna live in a world where the Democrats puts up someone worth voting for." SMH
"Lieutenant."
"The feeling is mutual."
"..."
What's the joke here? I'm not a native speaker, so if there's a pun I'm not seeing it.
@@donatodiniccolodibettobardi842 when someone greets you with "it's nice to see you again" or "glad to make your acquaintance" you can respond with 'the feeling is mutual', which just means you think it's nice to see THEM again as well or that you're glad to make THEIR acquaintance too. ricardo greets drebin by just saying 'lieutenant', which you obviously can't reflect back on ricardo because 1) he's not a lieutenant and 2) even if he was there's no feeling expressed in that particular greeting.
@@petarded3 so, in this case Drebin simply didn't listen what was said snd assumed his own version? Thanks.
@@donatodiniccolodibettobardi842 Yes, exactly - it was like he wasn't paying attention and just said a common response that didn't fit that situation.
It would be similar if the first person just said "Hello" and Frank said "You're Welcome" back (which is normally a response to "Thank You" and not "Hello").
@@Statalyzer I like your example.
OJ Simpson absolutely murdered his performance.
His work is so good I'm rolling tears even in 2021
"It's like the arduous task of sex. It seems to go on forever, and just when you think things are going your way, nothing happens". GREATEST QUOTE EVER!!
Is this some kind of bust? "Yeah it's pretty impressive" LOL
Yeah so good
Hahahahahaha!!! XD
The year Nielsen died I passed out ribbons with both those quotes at a convention!
but we need to ask you some questions
I lost it at this one!
Nice beaver!!!!!
What a classic!!!!!
"I was surrounded by pimps, rapists and murderers. It was like being in the stands for a Los Angeles Raiders game!" LOLOLOLOL
"The red light district. What could savage be doing there?"
"Sex Frank?"
"Er, not right now ed. Maybe later."
What movie was that from? I can't find the scene
R Paz - it’s from the 2nd one.
@@MatthewChristianMurray Thank you
@@bishopaz - No problem. Enjoy!
What about when he's in the sex shop slagging them off and the guys like "oh hi Frank, we got that super suck 5000 you ordered"
I could laugh myself into a mental asylum watching Leslie. He was a king.
_”Nice beaver.”_ is the greatest line from the Naked Gun series. One of the greatest in comedy film history. Top-10.
_”Thanks, I just had it stuffed.”_ The greatest comedic retort.
Just noticed, in the german version frank said "I've got ten more" instead of "i've got nine more" when jane sucks his finger, making the joke a litte dirtier.
@@DFDalton1962 thats why she looks at him with a puzzled face like "you really want me to suck all your fingers?!"....
The reason "I've got nine more" works better is because Frank obviously doesn't get the innuendo, which is why Jane looks at him funny.
There is one more: in the English version she says that she got her beaver recently stuffed, in the German dubbing it is combed! Seems they censored it a bit.
@@DFDalton1962 I don't think so. In the German version it's not even a sexual joke, I guess. Jane awkwardly looks at him like "You've got eleven fingers...?"
Is everything dirtier in German? I know I am?
Drebben: "I was in the cold grey walls of Stateville Prison. I was surrounded by pimps, rapists, and murderers. It was like being in the stands of a Los Angeles Raiders game. " LOL
Arlan Moreno N
Drebin*
Now more like in the locker room at an NFL game.
@@randymagnum143 Or the White House.
@randy magnum yes, before 2016 I believe
Being a teenage boy renting Naked gun movies at Blockbuster was the best.
"Goodyear?" "No, the worst." RIP Leslie, you were a true hero and you will be missed, Sorry about the beer-spill.
"I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one and with as little dribbling as possible!"
As I get older this just makes more sense.
Hey would you be interested in a Naked Gun fanfic?
“Nice beaver“
“I just had it stuffed“ 😂😂😂
Absolutely hilarious!😂😂😂😂
Frank?
Drebin!
You're both right.
🤣🤣🤣
“The world is such a violent place.”
“If it wasn’t, I’d be out of a job.”
" Like eating spoonful of Drano . Sure , it's cleans you out . But makes you hollow inside "....Such a deep thought !
0:31 - "...he's in the intensive care ward at our lady of the worthless miracle." 🤣🤣🤣
Forgot how great this was.
These clips just had me 😂😂😂👏👏
"Why don't you wanna have a child"
"Didn't i try to adopt that 18 year old Korean girl"
Vina Sky probably. 😄
@@davidbolha LOL :P
@@davidbolha "Vina Sky probably."
Vietnamese descent. Sorry. ;)
@@u2bear211 It's the thought that counts. 😆😄
Bill Clinton enters the chat, saying "Yeah, Baby!"
"Hey, the missing evidence! He was innocent!"
"He went to the chair 2 years ago..."
@@PlayingTarot Too stone cold funny! Thanks for completing!
Poor Kelner.😉😆
What I just noticed that makes this even funnier is that right before that line, he was talking about how life isn't fair.