John is very mentally ill, he needs intense in patient therapy and most likely medication. And if he isn’t willing to do those things then no one should be involved with him.
100% this! He scared me. There is something VERY psychologically wrong with him that goes beyond anxiety or being overbearing. His anger/rage, outlandish global issues that have NOTHING to do with the issue at hand, and his fear of the outside world is dangerous. I hope she got away from him.
this man is too dangerous really i want know how he he grew up, he have been abused when he was growing up?i felt so sorry for her she's in a prison and very angry man and dangerous to her and everybody around him,
John is EXHAUSTING, his wife is a superhero and the most patient woman alive !!! She deserves to be happy and in a good relationship.. This guy is so full of himself, he just loves to hear himself talk 🤦🏻♀️ Advice to his wife ....RUN !
John and his wife don’t need marriage counselling. They need divorce counselling. John needs intense individual therapy however without being funny - I doubt there’s a therapist alive that could help him get out of his own way, simply because he’s incapable of listening. He is mentally ill, and it’s not his wife’s job to fix him. His wife needs Dr Phil to tell her that it’s okay to leave him and then help her with a plan to make that happen safely and quickly. She deserves a chance to be happy.
then her husband would go straight after Dr.Phil no way he would tell that woman to leave, her husband is out there, how he started out of the blue freaking out saying it was fake and calling people liars. he really freaked out!!
All of this. I don’t know why they’re just acting like he’s a controlling person- the man is clearly really mentally ill. The way he keeps talking over everyone and going on and on there is something really wrong. I wouldn’t put anything past him - I’m scared for her.
@@Lynn-nx6ue I would not automatically assume he is violent, but his behavior is definitely off. He said he was a whistle blower and had to hide for a period of time. Was that a Paranoid delusion? The person he was upset about appearing televised was dropped. If he is mentally ill there is no guarantee of controlling it. Medications don't always work, but when they do it can allow people to live a normal life.
I don’t think John should have been televised. The audience is laughing at his rambling but the extreme way he spirals is not normal. He is EXTREMELY mentally unstable and his behavior is honestly terrifying. I really hope his wife gets away and safely. 🙏🏾
You are right @Estymom. I think the audience laughing really distressed him. His anxiety is off the charts. He isn’t functional enough to benefit from this. However, I think Dr Phil truly managed him brilliantly. He calmed him down and was able to pass on the messages he needed to.
You might've put your finger (mind) right on it. There's so many people that are such handfuls, and Dr P would make them stfu. But this guy, well, good job. So many people can't even See a classic in your face narcissist, much less what you said. Check out Dr. Ramani if narcissistic abuse/ people, interests you. She rocks. You tube🤗 (Smart people are such a treat😎)
John is SOOOOOOO incredibly tiring! I hope that she has moved on and set him free, so that she can find some peace and joy in her life. She is living in a prison, walking on eggshells. Her life is about more than keeping a clean house, and keeping things quiet for him while he is working. My heart hurt for her.
Divorced, never remarried...so peaceful, and free. 😅 love my son, grandchildren, 6 billion people in this world-- no need to be lonely.🤷♂️🤩@@aletheab8630
John definitely has issues beyond his control. He is part of my generation. A generation that didn’t know how to deal with autism and other spectrum issues. I don’t think Sally will ever leave him.
@@angiebirdwell7069 yeah she will have such a sad wasted life because of her big heart. He WILL NOT CHANGE but she has a chance to change how she wants to live her life.
I think it’s more of a security blanket for his extreme anxiety. It grounds him. For some people touch helps keep them from spiraling too far off. I believe he’s way more capable of going further off the rails. So he clings tight to her hand to keep him from jumping off the edge. Some people need that physical contact. It rests them. It helps snap them back from going down the tunnel, so to speak.
😂😂 this is reminding me of when I got mad that my husband implied that he loads the dishwasher more efficiently. Then I thought Wait a minute! I should pretend to not vacuum very well. 😂😂
Thinking from John's perspective, his world must be so hectic and traumatic and difficult for him to navigate, he does have a mental illness, that's absolutely clear to see. His wife neesds6to be in a place of safety, but he also needs an incredible amount of help.
He is so interested (if you can tell by his body language) in making sure the entire crowd believes him not his woman and not the helpful Dr in front of him. The constant disruptiveness and continuing not even stopping is a clear red flag for me
“Sally, she’s put on some weight lately and it’s distorted her view.” Dude, YOUR view would be distorted with 2 black eyes! 🤬🤬🤬 This dude is OUT. THE. BOX. 🙄🙄🙄🙄
Judge Judy would have told John to be quiet and put on his listening ears. I bet he'd reply "sorry your honour, I left them back at the hotel". He's pathetic.
One of the main purposes of going to a marriage counsellor is to get advice and help that will benefit both spouses but more importantly to LISTEN and LEARN! something John is incapable of. He has no filter.
John suffers from a persecution complex. He always has to be the victim and it's everyone else's fault for every tiny thing that goes wrong. He is NEVER to blame for anything. His wife deserves a medal for putting up with him for as long as she has. EDIT... something I just noticed. When John and his wife came back on stage and sat beside each other, I took a look at their hands. His hand is gripping his wife's hand so tightly, it looks like he's cutting off her circulation. This is a very scary dude.
I found it interesting that she knew he needed help and she knew she needed to do it. She told Dr. Phil, "I need him to look at me..." And it worked! I didn't notice the hand grip being different than before, but I did notice that he wasn't *so* on edge after they returned. He was ready for feedback (to the best of his ability). He had nice words. She calmed down his spin out. It reminded me of someone who is accustomed to helping someone during "an episode" of a panic attack, a seizure, low blood sugar, etc. The human mind is incredible!
John is just plain nuts. What damage has he done to his sons that they choose to still live in this toxic environment? His wife needs to join forces with them and get the heck out of there.
John is going into defense mode because he knows he’s getting called out for his bad behavior. He’s panicking because he can’t control this particular situation…proof that he’s a MASSIVE control freak. Good lord, just be quiet.
So i was showed this video by my oldest son and now im just very upset. This man "John" is a history teacher at my sons school and my wife and I had many problems with him last year. He teaches the same way he acts at home apparently. Smh, small world.
I just dont know how she lives daily with John, he is exhausting to be around, he always have to talk, cut ppl off, he just isnt a listener at all, he just think of what he will say when he doesnt talk, he doesnt really listen at all. does Dr Phil read these Comments?? because there are lots of really telling comments here, John, PLEASE allow them to talk and listen to the help, easy you mind, stop thinking to always be right.
I'm pretty sure Dr Phil doesn't read the comments lol, but anyway, you do realise these are old episodes right? This is at least 10 years ago, so your advice for John is a little late.
These men are sick. I'd never live that way. I'm a man. I would never do this to my significant other. Trust until you can't trust/actually know something.
Speaking as a married guy myself, I completely agree. I would never debase myself to a point where I started controlling my wife or any of her female friends using some over-inflated ego or "God Complex". To me, that's a Neanderthal and chauvinistic attitude. 😇
I don't agree. I think John is suffering from a very severe form of anxiety. To cope with this anxiety, he has developed a mal-adaptive behaviour of trying to control everything around him including the level of cleanliness, the schedule and the conversation/narrative, which he tries to do throughout this entire program. It must be an absolute nightmare for him living each day with such high anxiety,
@@CanadianAqualad narcissistic personality disorder is more referring to the behavior then the cause. I agree with you about the anxiety, but his denial about of responsibility to the problem and the way he will use an infinite number of tools to keep his version of reality is why I believe he has a NPD.
Most true narcissists would never stick with therapy long enough to get diagnosed because they think they’re perfect deep down. It’s definitely narcissistic behaviour though, more vulnerable narcissist than the classic bully narcissist. Note that John is trying to provoke everyone into losing their patience with him so he can play an even bigger victim. He’s also using the DARVO technique repeatedly.
John’s brain is going 100mph. Does sound like anxiety which everyone acknowledges. The chances of him getting help while living with his wife is slim. Try not divorced but John needs to be hospitalized for a while. Give him a chance to recovery his mind and give his family the freedom they need. Once John is better he can return as long as he doesn’t relapse.
John is an absolute lunatic. He is mentally NOT THERE. Wow. Lock this dude up. The way this woman had to calm him down 🤬 like come on - you are worth SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT! Please someone give me an update that she left this crazy dude. Straight serial killer vibes
John may have good intentions,but he is incredibly mentally ill;I'm guessing PTSD,at least.😔He needs psychologist help&medication.💯 Kudos to Doc Phil for his self control&professionalism.👍I would have 💪him.😆
Wow, John is really out there. His wife should get a metal or a big hug for dealing with him over the years. Hopefully, they will get some professional help and put these issues in the past and move on with true happiness.
oh the two sides argument? So they pick their husbands clothes, track their phones, pick their hair colour, choose his activities etc etc . The two sides is an excuse for abusers and abuse enablers!
Sometimes, especially when you are young and in love, what others see as controlling and abusive you see as assertive and strong. These men probably got worse with time and their wives grew and matured and found it hard to deal with.
John is way more than just bossy. There is something wrong with him, and tbh, I would be nervous for her if she left him. I think if he lost that control, he might snap. I will be willing to bet his behavior is part of the reasons his son's haven't moved out and left their mother there with him. I don't think we are getting the whole story with these 2.
Even after they came back, it was all about her fault. She's gaining weight she thinks that I'm picking on her she thinks that I'm trying to undermine her. He's a jerk
That’s what I’m thinking. My guess is he had some kind of trauma early on, and control is the only thing he knows. It’s his comfort zone. I also wonder about mental disorders. Anyone who is that controlling of a spouse or adult child has some real issues for sure.
I am diagnosed with PTSD,MDD, with OCD symptoms and I’m medicated BUT I can notice his anxiety and need to defend himself to national television because he’s trying to control the worlds view on him and it’s turning into rambling. He’s deeply insecure, and scared so he needs control to feel “safe”. I think he may have bi polar as well and we’re seeing a manic episode with comorbidities of anxiety and ocd
Notice to both women, leave these two men!!! Their past behavior will be their future behavior with no change in sight. No wife or family members deserve this behavior.
I actually was fearful and John made MY anxiety level go up because he would not calm down. Dr. PHIL...PLEASE help him and follow up...He is a hot mess.
Good grief - I'm 3 minutes in and already feel nauseous for these women. I couldn't live like that…my husband and I have separate friends, hobbies, and interests and have no idea what the other one is doing all day unless we decide to share it. I'd have a panic attack every day if I had to live this way.
John is just dreadful! Nutcracker and a huge bully. Even to the point he is trying to control Dr Phil and his show. His wife needs to run from him and never look back
Wow John needs some help immediately. 😢😢😢There were moments when it seemed he was about to lose control. His insults towards Dr Phil were unbelievable. John’s like a ticking time bomb🧐
John is a covert (vulnerable) narcissist who plays “oh poor me, how could you” games through the entire show and exercises his control in his “safe zone,” which is his home and over his wife.
John can’t help himself, his ego is so afraid of hurt that he jumps to defend himself when he hasn’t even been attacked. He’s so guarded against his own imperfections that he seems miserable.
John is trying so hard to convince everyone that he is the victim . Constantly interrupting and saying everyone else is lying or misrepresenting him is classic narcissist behavior. I can’t imagine how bad it is at home. 😢
My husband in a nutshell. No matter how many people tell him he’s wrong HE is always right and he will find something to criticize THEM. A narcissist doesn’t see his/her faults. However the one thing I have learned that narcissist are very afraid of being abandoned. After 43 years of marriage I ask him YOU WANT A DIVORCE and he starts crying. Typical behavior. I don’t hold back anymore and I’m not afraid of divorcing him . He is terrified!!!
@@elabuterin7150 oh honey I know exactly what you are talking about! I was married to an abusive TYRANT narcissist for a little more than 20yrs. Same as yours..nobody could tell him he was wrong even when he was proven wrong. He would always find a way to turn it around on me or whomever was challenging him. He was smarter, more talented, better than everyone at everything. When my two girls got grown, i left him… scared to death one night, I snuck out of the house while he slept and went to my parents house. He called and threatened that if i didn’t come home he would yada yada … when i told him i was calling the police he realized I was serious and not coming back, he broke down and started crying like a baby. It was that moment that I realized what a coward he really was. I was so brainwashed by him for all those years. I am happily married now to a wonderful man that treats me like a princess. I am happy you are able to stand up for yourself now. Don’t ever lose that.
This is one of the first times I’ve became severely anxious watching others suffer mental health issues online and not be able to do anything about it!! John made me feel so uncomfortable I became tensed up and my heart began beating rapidly! He triggered me tremendously that I wanted to run away and wondering why his wife didn’t want to feel like doing this sooner?! John IS exhausting bc he doesn’t want to listen to others bc he already expects them to not be able to understand him! So, he attacks them with his words and overtakes the conversation by over talking, in order to feel better about himself and in control. John needs medication & talk therapy.
My husband and I have been together 23 years. He NEVER dictates and controls me. He wants me to take charge to some extent. His mother was a strong career woman. I can't imagine being treated like these women are..it's ridiculous.
My goodness. This John really reflects his home and what he does to his wife is really heartbreaking. Have all these men seen the pain in their wifes faces??😢😢
He is such a terrible spouse how can you say her weight gain distorted her decision making????he is just deflecting his ways by talking about her. He is still trying to control the whole program 🤦🏻♀️
It always amazes me how psychopaths and sociopaths are so calm to the point of frightening. I've had the misfortune to have known and worked with a few. It's a serious illness and almost incorrigible blindness.😞🙏🏻
I used to go out with a guy like John who thought everyone was out to get him and the government was purposely doing things to make his life harder. It drove me absolutely nuts after 5 years i had enough i don't know how this woman has put up with him this long. John came to the show about his marriage but he can't even stay on topic without rambling
That John guy needs a mental adjustment. Wanna talk about INSECURE. He keeps stuttering and acting like a fool because he's being CALLED OUT! A man like that wouldn't be safe around me.
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And this is John putting on his best face! Imagine behind closed doors.
John is very mentally ill, he needs intense in patient therapy and most likely medication. And if he isn’t willing to do those things then no one should be involved with him.
Exactly! He is dangerous!
100% this! He scared me. There is something VERY psychologically wrong with him that goes beyond anxiety or being overbearing. His anger/rage, outlandish global issues that have NOTHING to do with the issue at hand, and his fear of the outside world is dangerous. I hope she got away from him.
So mentally ill if she walked away she would be unalived
this man is too dangerous really i want know how he he grew up, he have been abused when he was growing up?i felt so sorry for her she's in a prison and very angry man and dangerous to her and everybody around him,
@manupcheerup322 you think he would be dangerous? It doesn't look like she is scared of him though...
John literally makes my skin crawl. I would not be able to spend five minutes with this man. He would see my dust like the roadrunner.
😂😂😂😂
Lol roadrunner!! I love it
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Me too, just listening to him is excruciating!!! What a self centred nut job....
My thoughts exactly.
John wont stfu. He’s not listening, he’s just saying nonsense. He thinks everyone is out to get him 🙄🙄 RUN WOMAN RUN
He would make an excellent politician.
@@RoughJustice2k18Couldn't be any worse than Chump.
@@buzzzzzz69SMH
🤣🤣 run for the hills........................ruuuuuun
thats a controlling person. they think they are always right and will say all the ways you are wrong not them
John is EXHAUSTING, his wife is a superhero and the most patient woman alive !!! She deserves to be happy and in a good relationship.. This guy is so full of himself, he just loves to hear himself talk 🤦🏻♀️ Advice to his wife ....RUN !
I agree with you about the wife but John can't help but behaving like that. It's called emotional issues
John is so controlling that he's actually trying to control Dr Phil's show
This!
Exactly!
Dr. Phil has said, "I control this show, and I don't put up with abuse from anyone."
😂
I think he has underlying health issues. He may not be able to help himself that much.
John and his wife don’t need marriage counselling. They need divorce counselling. John needs intense individual therapy however without being funny - I doubt there’s a therapist alive that could help him get out of his own way, simply because he’s incapable of listening. He is mentally ill, and it’s not his wife’s job to fix him. His wife needs Dr Phil to tell her that it’s okay to leave him and then help her with a plan to make that happen safely and quickly. She deserves a chance to be happy.
then her husband would go straight after Dr.Phil no way he would tell that woman to leave, her husband is out there, how he started out of the blue freaking out saying it was fake and calling people liars. he really freaked out!!
All of this. I don’t know why they’re just acting like he’s a controlling person- the man is clearly really mentally ill. The way he keeps talking over everyone and going on and on there is something really wrong. I wouldn’t put anything past him - I’m scared for her.
@@girlygirlgonebad He also said Dr. Phil should be a psychologist for Guantanamo Bay. That made me believe he is a bit on the crazy side.
@@Lynn-nx6ue I would not automatically assume he is violent, but his behavior is definitely off. He said he was a whistle blower and had to hide for a period of time. Was that a Paranoid delusion? The person he was upset about appearing televised was dropped. If he is mentally ill there is no guarantee of controlling it. Medications don't always work, but when they do it can allow people to live a normal life.
I don’t think John should have been televised. The audience is laughing at his rambling but the extreme way he spirals is not normal. He is EXTREMELY mentally unstable and his behavior is honestly terrifying. I really hope his wife gets away and safely. 🙏🏾
I think this was an episode from an earlier year, they probably learned from this experience
The only suggestion is "shock" treatment.
You are right @Estymom. I think the audience laughing really distressed him. His anxiety is off the charts. He isn’t functional enough to benefit from this.
However, I think Dr Phil truly managed him brilliantly. He calmed him down and was able to pass on the messages he needed to.
John is dangerous. His wife is very forgiving. I’m worried for his wife. What if and when he snaps, he may be capable of un-aliving her.
You might've put your finger (mind) right on it.
There's so many people that are such handfuls, and Dr P would make them stfu.
But this guy, well, good job.
So many people can't even See a classic in your face narcissist, much less what you said.
Check out Dr. Ramani if narcissistic abuse/ people, interests you.
She rocks.
You tube🤗
(Smart people are such a treat😎)
Whew...I would love some updates since this episode is so old especially with John cause he is obviously unstable.
John needs alot of help but I think his wife also needs to think of her own safety.
I agree!
Definitely! I hope he doesn't own a gun
She needs to leave. PERIOD!
I hope so too but I bet he has a cache of them. He gives off compound in Idaho vibes.
There's something wrong with John's behavior and it's very serious. He really needs an EXTREME HELP.
John is a lost cause. How she has stayed with him is beyond me. I couldn’t take that for a week!
a second
Trauma bond
I could barely handle it in the show !!!
Bc she feels sorry for him.
She's an idiot for staying w him!!!
John is SOOOOOOO incredibly tiring! I hope that she has moved on and set him free, so that she can find some peace and joy in her life. She is living in a prison, walking on eggshells. Her life is about more than keeping a clean house, and keeping things quiet for him while he is working. My heart hurt for her.
This is the best description of him I’ve heard so far. He is tiring. Ugh
Divorced, never remarried...so peaceful, and free. 😅 love my son, grandchildren, 6 billion people in this world-- no need to be lonely.🤷♂️🤩@@aletheab8630
Goodbye John should be the next words out of her mouth.
John definitely has issues beyond his control. He is part of my generation. A generation that didn’t know how to deal with autism and other spectrum issues.
I don’t think Sally will ever leave him.
@@angiebirdwell7069 yeah she will have such a sad wasted life because of her big heart. He WILL NOT CHANGE but she has a chance to change how she wants to live her life.
Get out girl! You don't have to put up with that!
Dr Phil ❤
I agree
John has to go. He lies and interrupt everybody so he comes off as "normal". He is a bully and just horrible
Trust me, no one thinks he's normal.
@@heathergray9195 He even made a comment about his wife's weight but Dr. Phil was quick to cut him off.
John was driving me absolutely insane. SHUT UP 😂
The way John is holding on tight to his wifes hand is still his way of staying in control of her
Yap
@@OpinionatedGlobalCitizen YES
I think it’s more of a security blanket for his extreme anxiety. It grounds him. For some people touch helps keep them from spiraling too far off. I believe he’s way more capable of going further off the rails. So he clings tight to her hand to keep him from jumping off the edge. Some people need that physical contact. It rests them. It helps snap them back from going down the tunnel, so to speak.
The grip of doom!
@@kpopmrs5297 finally a decent comment. so many ppl here are clueless and judgmental
I couldn't tolerate a man being so controlling
I agree!! Although, if my husband did all my shopping and laundry and laid out my clothes I would be thrilled 😂
😂😂 this is reminding me of when I got mad that my husband implied that he loads the dishwasher more efficiently. Then I thought Wait a minute! I should pretend to not vacuum very well. 😂😂
Thinking from John's perspective, his world must be so hectic and traumatic and difficult for him to navigate, he does have a mental illness, that's absolutely clear to see. His wife neesds6to be in a place of safety, but he also needs an incredible amount of help.
Ooph !… his wife needs to be absolutely nothing she isn’t in charge of regulating his emotions
100%
Huh? They said the wife needed to be IN a place of safety, ie somewhere safe away from him I presume
SHUT UP, JOHN !!! DAMN
Watching this totally stressed me out.
John is so sick … so critical … I live with a bit of that but nothing like John. John needs intensive help.
He sounds paranoid too.
John is so damned terrified of criticism and being regarded in negative light. Even his mea culpa was blatantly self-serving.
💯 %
He is so interested (if you can tell by his body language) in making sure the entire crowd believes him not his woman and not the helpful Dr in front of him. The constant disruptiveness and continuing not even stopping is a clear red flag for me
Sally is like Johns Mother… she is toxically codependent to him
Felt that too. She's part of the problem
John deflects so much, it drives me insane. I would run a mile and agree he needs a lot of help
John seems as though he needs medication. He has a lot going on.😮😮😮
I said the same thing; John needs medication and I bet he’s been prescribed it before but wouldn’t take them.
Agreed
Medication, in-patient psychiatric services, and a DIVORCE.
@@sherryleigh1966 haaaaaaa😂
Omg you just summed it up perfectly!!! 😂
“Sally, she’s put on some weight lately and it’s distorted her view.” Dude, YOUR view would be distorted with 2 black eyes! 🤬🤬🤬 This dude is OUT. THE. BOX. 🙄🙄🙄🙄
Does John ever shut up?
He’s probably still talking about it.
Judge Judy would have told John to be quiet and put on his listening ears.
I bet he'd reply "sorry your honour, I left them back at the hotel".
He's pathetic.
And she'd add, "Where do you thin̈k you were coming to, the beach?"@RoughJustice2k18
@@RoughJustice2k18 😂😂😂😂
@@barbn1211 this
Very Dangerous behavior. Run and never look back!!
Four marriage councilors. He just does not shut up.
One of the main purposes of going to a marriage counsellor is to get advice and help that will benefit both spouses but more importantly to LISTEN and LEARN! something John is incapable of. He has no filter.
I'd like a Where Are they Now update on John and Sally..I hope to God she left him and he is getting help.
Absolutely
There’s no helping a narcissist
Sally needs to ✍️ write the “Dear John …” note & get away from him. I don’t think he can change or wants to change.
Yeah, I don’t think John is mentally stable. Something is definitely wrong and he needs help.
John is EXHAUSTING
John suffers from a persecution complex. He always has to be the victim and it's everyone else's fault for every tiny thing that goes wrong. He is NEVER to blame for anything. His wife deserves a medal for putting up with him for as long as she has.
EDIT... something I just noticed. When John and his wife came back on stage and sat beside each other, I took a look at their hands. His hand is gripping his wife's hand so tightly, it looks like he's cutting off her circulation. This is a very scary dude.
Extremely!
I found it interesting that she knew he needed help and she knew she needed to do it. She told Dr. Phil, "I need him to look at me..." And it worked! I didn't notice the hand grip being different than before, but I did notice that he wasn't *so* on edge after they returned. He was ready for feedback (to the best of his ability). He had nice words.
She calmed down his spin out.
It reminded me of someone who is accustomed to helping someone during "an episode" of a panic attack, a seizure, low blood sugar, etc.
The human mind is incredible!
Dr. Phil's patience is otherworldly.
At least Jim KNOWS he’s got a serious problem.
John is just plain nuts. What damage has he done to his sons that they choose to still live in this toxic environment? His wife needs to join forces with them and get the heck out of there.
John is going into defense mode because he knows he’s getting called out for his bad behavior. He’s panicking because he can’t control this particular situation…proof that he’s a MASSIVE control freak. Good lord, just be quiet.
When Sally leaves him, he’s gonna stalk her.
💯 %..Lord protect her!
God forbid.
No doubt 😮
So i was showed this video by my oldest son and now im just very upset. This man "John" is a history teacher at my sons school and my wife and I had many problems with him last year. He teaches the same way he acts at home apparently. Smh, small world.
GIVE US MORE DETAILS !!
Yiiiiikes! Please tell us more! Also, are you in a gang infested town like he claims?
I hate that John’s wife thinks she has to live like this.
I just dont know how she lives daily with John, he is exhausting to be around, he always have to talk, cut ppl off, he just isnt a listener at all, he just think of what he will say when he doesnt talk, he doesnt really listen at all. does Dr Phil read these Comments?? because there are lots of really telling comments here, John, PLEASE allow them to talk and listen to the help, easy you mind, stop thinking to always be right.
He's the male version of 'Khalood'! The Montser in law!!!
@@Heidi_137 he really is!
I'm pretty sure Dr Phil doesn't read the comments lol, but anyway, you do realise these are old episodes right? This is at least 10 years ago, so your advice for John is a little late.
@@Heidi_137 Ugh what a pair John and Khalood would make! 😖 A pair of motor-mouthed 🤡🤡
@Vrin137 - that so true! a 2.1 version of Khalood! 🤣
This man would drive me nuts he’s driving me nuts just listening to him. Does he ever shut up in here somebody else’s side
I wonder where these couples are today? If anyone knows them, kindly update us.
These men are sick. I'd never live that way. I'm a man. I would never do this to my significant other. Trust until you can't trust/actually know something.
Speaking as a married guy myself, I completely agree. I would never debase myself to a point where I started controlling my wife or any of her female friends using some over-inflated ego or "God Complex". To me, that's a Neanderthal and chauvinistic attitude. 😇
I don't think it's a trust thing. I think it's way deeper and different--control is just a symptom.
But who knows.
Omg he just doesn't want to hear it.
John has severe narcissism
I don't agree. I think John is suffering from a very severe form of anxiety. To cope with this anxiety, he has developed a mal-adaptive behaviour of trying to control everything around him including the level of cleanliness, the schedule and the conversation/narrative, which he tries to do throughout this entire program. It must be an absolute nightmare for him living each day with such high anxiety,
@@CanadianAqualad narcissistic personality disorder is more referring to the behavior then the cause. I agree with you about the anxiety, but his denial about of responsibility to the problem and the way he will use an infinite number of tools to keep his version of reality is why I believe he has a NPD.
Most true narcissists would never stick with therapy long enough to get diagnosed because they think they’re perfect deep down. It’s definitely narcissistic behaviour though, more vulnerable narcissist than the classic bully narcissist. Note that John is trying to provoke everyone into losing their patience with him so he can play an even bigger victim. He’s also using the DARVO technique repeatedly.
Remember the true story “Dear John”? Leave him now! Run !
Ya say. 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
John’s brain is going 100mph. Does sound like anxiety which everyone acknowledges. The chances of him getting help while living with his wife is slim. Try not divorced but John needs to be hospitalized for a while. Give him a chance to recovery his mind and give his family the freedom they need. Once John is better he can return as long as he doesn’t relapse.
John is EXHAUSTING.
John is an absolute lunatic. He is mentally NOT THERE. Wow.
Lock this dude up.
The way this woman had to calm him down 🤬 like come on - you are worth SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT! Please someone give me an update that she left this crazy dude. Straight serial killer vibes
I have to agree. 🇬🇧🇬🇧🇬🇧
Wow. John is hopeless. His wife needs to just run. Holy 💩...
John may have good intentions,but he is incredibly mentally ill;I'm guessing PTSD,at least.😔He needs psychologist help&medication.💯 Kudos to Doc Phil for his self control&professionalism.👍I would have 💪him.😆
PTSD doesn’t really match here, maybe more like narcissistic personality disorder or borderline personality disorder
My thoughts. I think his job traumatized him.
Wow, John is really out there. His wife should get a metal or a big hug for dealing with him over the years. Hopefully, they will get some professional help and put these issues in the past and move on with true happiness.
Medal not metal
call the men in the white coats
😂😂😂😂
oh the two sides argument? So they pick their husbands clothes, track their phones, pick their hair colour, choose his activities etc etc . The two sides is an excuse for abusers and abuse enablers!
Omg these men are ridiculous
dangerous.
Why would you marry someone like this?
his looks, she said it
Desperation, blind love, naiveity. The list goes on.
Sometimes, especially when you are young and in love, what others see as controlling and abusive you see as assertive and strong. These men probably got worse with time and their wives grew and matured and found it hard to deal with.
And, why would you STAY with someone like this?
they hide it at first
John is way more than just bossy. There is something wrong with him, and tbh, I would be nervous for her if she left him. I think if he lost that control, he might snap. I will be willing to bet his behavior is part of the reasons his son's haven't moved out and left their mother there with him. I don't think we are getting the whole story with these 2.
Even after they came back, it was all about her fault. She's gaining weight she thinks that I'm picking on her she thinks that I'm trying to undermine her. He's a jerk
I feel bad for John only because he has some deeper issues besides being a control freak! May have been his childhood??? 😢
That’s what I’m thinking. My guess is he had some kind of trauma early on, and control is the only thing he knows. It’s his comfort zone. I also wonder about mental disorders. Anyone who is that controlling of a spouse or adult child has some real issues for sure.
And job
It HAS to be his childhood.
yes. probably. and she needs to try to run
I am diagnosed with PTSD,MDD, with OCD symptoms and I’m medicated BUT I can notice his anxiety and need to defend himself to national television because he’s trying to control the worlds view on him and it’s turning into rambling. He’s deeply insecure, and scared so he needs control to feel “safe”. I think he may have bi polar as well and we’re seeing a manic episode with comorbidities of anxiety and ocd
Notice to both women, leave these two men!!!
Their past behavior will be their future behavior with no change in sight.
No wife or family members deserve this behavior.
I actually was fearful and John made MY anxiety level go up because he would not calm down. Dr. PHIL...PLEASE help him and follow up...He is a hot mess.
he can get WAY better help than Dr. Phil. lol
Good grief - I'm 3 minutes in and already feel nauseous for these women. I couldn't live like that…my husband and I have separate friends, hobbies, and interests and have no idea what the other one is doing all day unless we decide to share it. I'd have a panic attack every day if I had to live this way.
Imagine living with him (John) 24 hours 7 days a week?
John is just dreadful! Nutcracker and a huge bully. Even to the point he is trying to control Dr Phil and his show. His wife needs to run from him and never look back
Wow John needs some help immediately. 😢😢😢There were moments when it seemed he was about to lose control. His insults towards Dr Phil were unbelievable. John’s like a ticking time bomb🧐
John is a covert (vulnerable) narcissist who plays “oh poor me, how could you” games through the entire show and exercises his control in his “safe zone,” which is his home and over his wife.
John is a bully. I can’t imagine what he is like behind closed doors.
She must like it
This guy, John, is a piece of work.
A nasty piece of work!
Trust me, living with a controlling spouse is exhausting 😢
It really is! And worse, we can never do right. No matter how much we try there is always something wrong.
Facts, my husband really would like me to be a stepford wive!
It's entitlement
Facts
Was John in the military? He strikes me as someone with severe PTSD and the way he’s trying to control his anxiety and trauma is with OCD behaviors.
I'm sorry but nobody should be married to John, what a head melt 😮🤯🤯
John can’t help himself, his ego is so afraid of hurt that he jumps to defend himself when he hasn’t even been attacked. He’s so guarded against his own imperfections that he seems miserable.
Wow. I don't know how Dr. Phil even tolerated him for 5 minutes!
Johns wife is like his parent and she clearly has very low self esteem that she would continue in this marriage
She’s been conditioned she literally doesn’t know better and he is over there admitting to his wrong behavior but doesn’t change it
John is trying so hard to convince everyone that he is the victim . Constantly interrupting and saying everyone else is lying or misrepresenting him is classic narcissist behavior. I can’t imagine how bad it is at home. 😢
My husband in a nutshell. No matter how many people tell him he’s wrong HE is always right and he will find something to criticize THEM. A narcissist doesn’t see his/her faults. However the one thing I have learned that narcissist are very afraid of being abandoned. After 43 years of marriage I ask him YOU WANT A DIVORCE and he starts crying. Typical behavior. I don’t hold back anymore and I’m not afraid of divorcing him . He is terrified!!!
@@elabuterin7150 oh honey I know exactly what you are talking about! I was married to an abusive TYRANT narcissist for a little more than 20yrs. Same as yours..nobody could tell him he was wrong even when he was proven wrong. He would always find a way to turn it around on me or whomever was challenging him. He was smarter, more talented, better than everyone at everything. When my two girls got grown, i left him… scared to death one night, I snuck out of the house while he slept and went to my parents house. He called and threatened that if i didn’t come home he would yada yada … when i told him i was calling the police he realized I was serious and not coming back, he broke down and started crying like a baby. It was that moment that I realized what a coward he really was. I was so brainwashed by him for all those years.
I am happily married now to a wonderful man that treats me like a princess. I am happy you are able to stand up for yourself now. Don’t ever lose that.
John is absolutely insufferable, his wife needs to escape his insanity.
Right!! Her face shows it all. She’s exhausted! I’m tired after 5 minutes of his talking.
John is insufferable
John is whining like a spoiled 5 year old who's used to having his way. Now that he's not, he's throwing tentrums because he's not in control
John reminds me of my husband . When he feels the narrative switching he gets mad and plays the blame game
This is one of the first times I’ve became severely anxious watching others suffer mental health issues online and not be able to do anything about it!! John made me feel so uncomfortable I became tensed up and my heart began beating rapidly! He triggered me tremendously that I wanted to run away and wondering why his wife didn’t want to feel like doing this sooner?! John IS exhausting bc he doesn’t want to listen to others bc he already expects them to not be able to understand him! So, he attacks them with his words and overtakes the conversation by over talking, in order to feel better about himself and in control. John needs medication & talk therapy.
I desperately need an update on John and Sally!
John is a very disturbed man. I hope his wife is safe.
Dr. Phil has a lot of patience
My husband and I have been together 23 years. He NEVER dictates and controls me. He wants me to take charge to some extent. His mother was a strong career woman. I can't imagine being treated like these women are..it's ridiculous.
I love the way Dr. Phil is able to diffuse situations, I've been practicing this. What a wonderful life power.
John's wife, he is beyond repair. He is not going to change. John, your wife is phenomenal!!
My goodness. This John really reflects his home and what he does to his wife is really heartbreaking. Have all these men seen the pain in their wifes faces??😢😢
He is such a terrible spouse how can you say her weight gain distorted her decision making????he is just deflecting his ways by talking about her. He is still trying to control the whole program 🤦🏻♀️
I have a friend with a controlling husband and I find it creepy. I could not cope with that at all.
It's not marriage counseling he needs intensive mental care
It always amazes me how psychopaths and sociopaths are so calm to the point of frightening. I've had the misfortune to have known and worked with a few. It's a serious illness and almost incorrigible blindness.😞🙏🏻
I wonder how John was during the "pandemic" eeekk
Yike's
Sally, leave. He shows no incentive for accountability or change. Life’s too short, girl ❤
I used to go out with a guy like John who thought everyone was out to get him and the government was purposely doing things to make his life harder. It drove me absolutely nuts after 5 years i had enough i don't know how this woman has put up with him this long. John came to the show about his marriage but he can't even stay on topic without rambling
That blue looks good on ya, Dr. Phil! Lol... Random thought.
Haha I’m so glad someone said that! I noticed that too. The powder blue pocket square and shirt totally work on him.
That John guy needs a mental adjustment. Wanna talk about INSECURE. He keeps stuttering and acting like a fool because he's being CALLED OUT! A man like that wouldn't be safe around me.