This should be required to be heard by every attorney, police officer, social worker, judge…..anybody who has anything to do with dealing with children in family court!!
It was the police who first put the word narcissist in front of me. They were so shocked by how my husband handled himself during an arrest, that they came to talk to me later - one of the officers even pushed off leaving for his vacation to do this - to explain to me what they experienced while arresting my husband and to say that he is the most narcissistic person they've ever encountered. They felt worried for my and my kid's safety with someone like that. So, it is good when there are people in those positions that know something about this, but yes, it really needs to be required information. Especially judges I think need to know about personality disorders.
My ex husband contracted syphilis from from a prostitute, got himself treated but failed to tell his pregnant wife (me!). 5 months later, with my organs failing and my son in perinatal distress the ex told my medical team what they should be looking for. I spent 93 days in the hospital with a short stay in ICU, and my son was born with syphilis. A therapist told me who the ex really was and she SAVED my life. The syphilis was the LEAST of what he did to me once the mask slipped. I spent two years in homeless housing with my kids after he wiped everything and changed the locks to our home, but today we're free, healed and thriving! I'm so lucky and fortunate!!!
My heart breaks for the suffering you endured from the evil narcissist ex and so happy you and your children are now in a place of freedom and tranquility. I pray that God continues to shower you with blessings!
This should be required listening for family court judges. I spent 10 years in and out of court with a malignant narcissist, and he kept getting everything he asked for with his money and charm (and vicious attorney to do his bidding). It’s sport for them. Thank you, Dr Phil for this important series.
Your comment is SO true! 16 years ago the two women who were supposed to intercede for us on behalf of my children (I can’t remember their court appointed title) were totally convinced by him of the great guy he was. They pretty much treated me as though I was stupid when I mentioned the word narcissist.
Thanks Dr Phil. My mom is malignant narsisist. I was the scapegoat, my brother the golden child and my two sisters the enablers. I never knew how bad my childhood was and thus normalised it. Yet I always knew that something was off. I suffered from PTSD and panic attacks. I had no help, no friends, no one I could trust. (My broter even raped me of which I have no recollection - it only came out 15 years ago) I am now 59 years. Over the years I went for therapy but the pshycologists (5 of them) never found the "problem". That made me feel even more isolated and "wrong." The last 10 years I started reading relevant books and found the internet most helpful. And then my healing started. Realising that I was in a trap; I realised years ago that I must break all contact with my family. It took however, some time to actually do that. Realising that a period of mourning will be part of it. But when I did, oh! how free I felt! Almost immediately my whole life changed for the better. I am now captain of my ship master of my soul. And learning and exploring what I really want and need as I have supressed so many parts of myself. It's loveley not to experience panic attacks so often and revel in the safety in the home I have created for myself. (Dr Ramani, others and now yourself have been of great help.) There is so much I can share to help others but space is limited. Everyone reading this must know that they are magnificent and rezilient to overcome anything. Where there is a will, there is a way. It is our birthright to be free, happy and safe.
@@maggiewernich8395 well done you great girl.Yes it can take so much courage to break free but when you do it feels so right. A big virtual hug to you from me and I hope you feel the warmth from it. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
@@lindav1189 I’m so sorry, Ms. Linda. The voices we hear in our heads as adults are the voices we heard from our “mothers.” Sadly, when our normal is pathological, we tend to tie up with someone who has the same qualities-we all are attracted to that which is familiar. This is the sad legacy of our childhood which is replayed in so many ways in adult life. We don’t see this clearly when we’ve been conditioned from birth to accept the unacceptable. Again, I am so sorry, Ms. Linda. I hope your journey getting out of both of the relationships gives you the time and a safe place to recover. Best wishes. Please remember *you matter too.* Cyber hugs if you’re up for them. If not, that’s fine too. :-)
@@tundrawomansays5067 you are so kind to take the time to write. You are very intuitive. I don't like to be hugged. Hands, arms, coming at me are soooo uncomfortable. Thank you for being so thoughtful.
@leann - I can absolutely relate, except for the therapist part. I learned about the various types (very late in life) by randomly finding & listening to Dr. Les Carter & Dr. Ramani - on TH-cam. Previously I had only been aware of Overt Narcs. 🙄 What a wake-up call 😳🤯
@@leannaustin723 - yes, so true. I felt so stupid as I first did that deep dive. However, I've come to realize, that's his problem, not mine. Nice, kind, empathic people just don't think that Narcs "think" the way they do. "After" marrying my Covert Narc is when he finally started dropping his mask, yet I STILL didn't understand what was happening. CIt took 3 years for that to happen. I knew Jack-Squat about Silent Treatments, Lying by Omission, Selective Amnesia, Walking on Eggshells, Gaslighting, Passive-aggressive behavior & on & on! We both worked long hours (50-65 hours) per week, 6 to 6.5 days per week, sometimes even more! I had zero time to stop & analyze. Uuugh
Exactly! The more people that learn about this could save thereselves but it usually isn’t obvious at first, because we’re blinded by “love” due to their manipulation! Ask anyone who’s been thru this nightmare! Thanks Dr. Phil, I’m taking notes. Changes in my life finally. Very important shows, thank you!
Yes, they look down on nice people although they will never admit it. To a narc, kindness is like synonymous with murder or death. They see compassion as a sort of twisted crime.
I’m walking out of this right now! I’m in tears and in fear because this literally describes my husband perfectly!! He’s about to be served and that worries me. He knows he’s losing control and he’s scrambling. He’s making himself look like the victim. I did not realize that calling him out on this behavior was so dangerous. I do now. Thank you for putting this out for people to see.
You and Dr. Ramini are on the exact same page. Took me a long time to realize these people have a real (sad) diagnosis. But now I have less pain and more understanding. Feel sorry for them but feel more sorry for their victims. No cure. They just find another “supply. Run from these people and NEVER to them. Thank you Dr. Phil.
I see no reason to “feel sorry” for predator/parasites. They already have a world of self-pity and surely are not entitled to any of mine. Any adult who’s stomping on your “feel sorry for/pity meeeee” Button is actively working on disarming you. “Feeling sorry for” ensures your defenses are down, the better to predate on you.
When the doctor told me that my husband was a narcissistic sociopath, I was so relieved. I thought I was the one who was off, sort of speak. He had me almost convinced that I was crazy, just like his ex. But, by then, he had my life in a wreck. My life is a nightmare. Thank you so much for all of this information. God bless you!!
@@ICU-mw7su y'all 100% are. Research indicates Narcissistic types exist together. Codependents and malignancy. Ie covert and overt presentations. I know because y'all always play victim even when it's socially not responsible or needed. Not everyone is for sure, but if you stayed with a NPD person for longer than 6 months, you aren't perceiving reality properly FROM THE GET GO EITHER.. I had to accept all these facts to actually get better, not false perception of being better, or some wierd idealistic metamorphosis... 😂
I can so relate - thought I was beginning to go insane. The verbal, emotion abuse and, projection and mind games was almost daily. 5 years of this. I had to run away
@@Tend-er-Rose The effect it has on one's psyche is frightening I also thought I was going crazy. I'm so happy you got away Rosie. Please find yourself again and rejoice in the wonderful freedom. Sending you love and blessings from South Africa. Take good care of yourself xx
I am divorcing this person right now and I'm trapped living with him until I get enough money to get a place for myself and my kids. My therapist has warned me that he is dangerous. My family doesn't believe because he has always been careful not to put his hands on us. I am getting in my car right now and driving to my moms to play this for her. This sent chills down my spine. I knew he was a narcissist, and I knew he was incapable of empathy, but I never thought of him as a psychopath. He abuses our pets, and has threatened horrible things to them. I don't know why I didn't see it before.
My husband has put hands on me once and turned it around saying I started it… he hasn’t done that again but he is very harmful to the pets and threatens what he’ll do to the dog. I’m afraid one day he will put hands on me again. But I cannot financially leave and my ENTIRE family lives in another city 4 hours away so I can’t just up and leave. Oh and I don’t have access to any of the money cuz it’s I his bank account. I pray I get the strength and opportunity to just leave like so many others have been able too.
@@yvonnealdava2560 once is good enough! Take a vehicle and go to your family with your bags, they will understand. Stay there for a while and find you a good job to start, pursue your divorce while at the family. Hopefully you can bring your pet with you, if not find a good rescue organization that will work with you, you can not leave your pet at the house* I did this over 9 years ago with my baby, we left and I didn’t have work or money, but I went to live with my parents and found a job. I never even told them I was coming, because when he left for work, I left from him.
I was married to a man like this for 23yrs before I finally gave up ! He caused me to have 3 nervous breakdowns ! I was raised to understand that marriage was a covenant you made to each other , and that you did not divorce , that the husband is the head of the house and makes all the decisions ! I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me , it was my decision to stay with him ! Please pay close attention to what Dr Phil is saying , be so very careful in choosing your life mate , take time to truly get to know them before you make a commitment to them ! Pay attention to how they treat others ! Thank you Dr Phil for making these videos to bring this to everyone's attention ❤
No offense, sometimes certain religious passages, are not that black and white. While the Bible speaks of ending marriages due to infidelity, it should also discuss forms of abuse. Since God is ❤ love, in addition to, a God of justice, HE does not want individuals to suffer in marriages.
This should be taught in high school!! No better way to protect yourself than with knowledge!! Dr. Phil, thank you!! This series really should be labeled as a PSA, and a MUCH needed one as that! Would love a series on healthy boundaries, it’s hard to be nice these days and when that’s your authentic self expression, it ruins the experience and can lead to depression!
I've been saying that for years, and also introduced to kids in middle school. My ex is a malignant narcissist. He found fault behind the backs with the first two marriage counselors we saw, but charmed their socks off during counseling. The third counselor we'd been in session for about 15minutes when my ex *exploded* in a rage yelling, "You think you can diagnose me?!??!! You think you're that smart?!??!!" The counselor emphatically said, "Yes." I could have hugged that man because finally someone else saw through the facade my ex presented. The only "cure" is having no contact. Stay safe and strong! 🙏
And may I add Elementary teachers bcz this behavior begins young most of the time. It would save some alot of grief to know what you are REALLY dealing with... An example is watching the show "Evil lives here"
Thank you 😊❤ my narc is currently in jail for strangling and raping me. Trial is coming up. I've been diagnosed with c-ptsd. Severe anxiety and depression. Difficulty functioning after years of gaslighting, raging, lying, prostitutes and never feeling safe. Thank you for your series. In addition, I'd like to say, victims are not stupid. I have a masters in psychology. I speak 5 languages and have multiple other degrees. "They" are so brilliant in their ability to mess with your mind. You fall down the rabbit hole and lose yourself. No one can understand this unless you've been a victim. Thank you. I believe intermittent reinforcement is what kept me locked into the "relationship". So much love and kindness then I'm a "stupid f***ing c**t". Mind and emotions whirling. I gave him everything and he just exploited me. My kindness, compassion, empathy and willingness to work hard and placate him. My sense of loyalty and understanding. It's simply never enough. You can't fill up another individual with NPD. Thank you and God bless.
Wow! I am so happy that you are out of that situation. I know that you have a long road ahead of you in your healing process and I wish you and your family all the success on your healing. I could believe having a degree is psychology made him behave even worst. Most narcissits think that they can outsmart their psychologist.
I'm with you there. They can't stand it if you are smart or successful. Mine told me that making me look bad to everyone made him shine. He is pur evil. My heart goes out to you.
Wow, you are smart and beautiful, thats what HE needs, you have it in abundance, and now even more, because you know, he is sick. You are not sick, just sore. 5 languages, wow if i was a narc. I would make you pay for that too, making me feel inferior! Ha, joke, but also im shaking my head. But having a big heart, staying in the cycle, no one, no matter how smart ,can out smart that cycle untill u get too tired to keep running like the mouse in the wheel. Congrats, u can make your new life. Bootcamp done.
Thank you Dr Phil. Yes, these are the most dangerous people! Thank GOD I survived!! Once you realize you are in danger, PLEASE GET OUT!! I Pray for all who are in this horrible situation, especially children🙏
I am so incredibly thankful for your words, explanations, examples. It has truly helped me to accept that these narcissistic people DO mean what they do and say. They are not just "having a bad day", "need to vent" however, it is constantly and violently when challenged. They say they "want' a relationship, but not in the way that is healthy, loving and kind. It is sad that they have no interest in being kind for the sake of being loving and kind.
I suffered in the hands of my brother. One day I just packed the bag and left the country, He even sent his friends to talk to me. He abused me from age 7 to 40. No sexually but verbal and physical abuse. Alienated me from my friends. Irony is I am a [now retired] physician.
Dr. Phil, I'm so glad you're talking about this subject. I think we as a society have been reluctant to face the reality of evil. We don't deal with it. We sort of hide from it.
Thanks for doing this. Please do a segment on the victims of these characters, the survivors and their path to recovery. It’s a hard road, but it’s worth it.
Yes! That is a super great idea!! After learning sooo much the past few years, and finally found the courage and an open door to get out for good! But now what? I’m not the same person. I’m changed…damaged even. How much did this permanently change me? How much trust, and joy, if any, might I get back? Even after seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, finally, after waiting and wanting it for so very long, I am still feeling hopeless. Like a failure. With so little self confidence and self worth remaining, and honestly, very little motivation to reach out to find some part of my former self again. He may have well just killed me years ago, because I already feel like I’ve died. ❤️
@@lisafiedler4513 I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. Please don’t give up. Keep at the healing, keep working on your self confidence. I’m going through it too, 4 years into my healing, and I’m so much better, but not fully healed. For me it was childhood trauma, abuse and neglect that made me vulnerable. I’m working on healing it. I hope you’re doing ok today, and I wish you well on your healing journey. ❤️❤️❤️
I am so thankful that you decided to do this series! Until you went over the characteristics of a narcissist at the end of one of your television programs, I had no idea what narcissist even meant! As you went over these characteristics, I had to literally sit down! I am 70 years old and I have been dealing with a 77 year old sister who fit every one of the characteristics! I knew she had to be mentally ill because normal people do not act the way she does, about anything! It was such a relief to know that now there is a name to her toxic personality. I have listened to 3 of your podcasts and she has almost all the traits in your descriptions! I thank God that you are bringing this to our attention. Thank you so much! This has given me so many answers to her behavior that my family and I have had to deal with our entire life!
This is a great series Dr. Phil and ppl should listen to it. My ex-boyfriend is a malignant narcissist and he damn near killed me and of course blamed me for it. He has since been locked up in prison for almost killing another girlfriend after me. I sure hope they threw away the key because he is a danger to society.
Same here! I'm so happy I survived! He was very scary and he had me thinking I was the crazy one! He's out of jail now and I hope I never see him again! 😢
You are at your best when you do these types of educational yet interpersonal type of videos. Not only have I learned a lot from you (your education and background truly sets you apart from many of these types of videos) but I felt like you were literally in my living room having a one-on-one. Thank you Dr. Phil!
Single mom here with 4 young children making my way through the family court process against who I feel is at best a malignant narcissist. The journey has been a spiritual awakening I am so grateful for despite a marriage fraught with narcissistic abuse and present day legal stresses. That being said, videos like these are incredibly supportive, informative and validating. This helps me hold my power and stay in a peaceful place. I know I am not alone. Thank you 🙏
You are not alone. I raised four kids too and left a horrible ex husband and believe me thats when the healing starts. You will get through this and be happy in your life and children too. Mine are grown up now and with families of their own.They all turned out living life happy and with good partners. It was years of councilling and good support. It took me longer because I had to deal with my childhood too. Things do get better. Blessings to you.
@@yvettemoreel4237 Thank you for your kind words. It means so much, as I am sure you know, to hear about similar journeys. Your message is encouraging and a reminder that my efforts to be positive and grounded now will absolutely pay off with my beautiful children. I am grateful. 🤗❤️
MY FATHER......MY HUSBAND.......MANY OF MY FRIENDS.......REALLY HORRIBLE......THEY ALL TRIED TO DESTROY ME....BUT I AM STILL HERE. DR. PHIL PUTTING MEANING TO ALL THIS IS WONDERFUL. I AM LISTENING AND SAYING "YUP YUP YUP.....THAT'S RIGHT..." AND FINISHING MANY OF HIS SENTENCES. BETTER TO BE ALONE THAN WITH THESE TYPES OF PEOPLE. I POSTED YOUR PART 1 TO A FACEBOOK CATFISH GROUP OF 4,000 PEOPLE.
My husband used to talk about a man who he deemed the most dangerous man he knew. He said, "He's evil enough to think of the most heinous things and he's stupid enough to not consider the consequences and just do them." To him, no diagnosis of a mental disease was necessary. When we learn a person has murdered his entire family or a child has murdered her parents or a mother has murdered her baby it seems that many people immediately start trying to put some reason behind the terrible act that was committed. "Oh, he had a terrible childhood or she was abused by her ex-husband or she has a mental disease" and I grow weary of hearing all these psycho-babble excuses and wonder "When did we take the word 'evil' out of our vocabulary? Why don't we call it what it is. He murdered his family because he is evil! PERIOD! I was delighted to hear Dr. Phil use the word "evil".
@@melissasequeiros1801 Psychopathy is really something else that is outside human experience (even on a spirituality level - born this way , and incurable ever -).. very few people and psychologists truly understand it.. Dr. Phil does.. I am not sure he is expert on it though.. Let's hope!!! A normal psychopath is WAAAYY much more dangerous than a mass murderer narcissist or a sociopath.. They erode the light bearers of society, and destroy its morals from within... Narcissists and Sociopaths still have conscience, even if it is a very skewed one.. Psychopaths operate outside the human experience totally..
@@MK-fk4kp Malignant narcissistic personality disorder is extremely dangerous too. Plus, if they’re covert, you get the added ‘bonus’ of almost no one but you knowing the truth. They’re very adept at being charming and playing the victim to gain sympathy, so when you’re finally on to them and recognize the severity of the disorder, it’s very difficult to convince others that could help you of the truth and so becomes extremely dangerous. They do not want their real self exposed and will go to great lengths to prevent that. No matter the cost, including your life. My husband of many years suffered with this. It’s a miracle that my daughter and I are still alive-and sane. I won’t go into details here. I believe it runs in families, too. His mother had borderline personality disorder, and his only brother has it, too, to a lesser degree, minus the covert. He set his ex-wife’s house on fire.
My sister and now ex- husband are both malignant narcissists. Both were enabled by their mothers. It took me 40 years to figure out what was going on. They terrorize and lead to this day. Both are ruthless and evil. Everything that you say is 100% spot on. Your clarification helps me cope. Thank you.
I just cut contact with my daughter because her behavior and people she associated with were endangering me. I'm wondering if she's a malignant narcissist.
Exactly! Complete no contact. And even then they find sneaky little ways to still inflict some sort of trauma or abuse. You just have to control your reactions & pretend like they don’t even exist.
Thanks Dr. Phil, I’m learning how to cope . Wish I had this knowledge when I was young ! At 79 yrs old I am now physically and emotionally drained and disabled. Don’t want anyone to end up this way, due to staying with or around malignant people, or toxic personalities !
I am 51 years old. The narcissist in my life is my sibling who has destroyed me my whole life. I've been studying for 15+ years. I'm finally getting clarity to heal. I believe I have ptsd /pnsd. I've had to go no contact with my whole family. If you ever want to study a severe case like mine. I'm open to it. I've had alot of damage & so has my son. I'm learning every day how to find myself again. Thank you for this series.
God no!!! NEVER apologize to a M-NPD person. I’m so glad you saw this. This is my eh. Horribly emotionally (and physically) abusive!!!!! Apologies always make them worse
Dr. Phil, I have subscribed to your show. You are doing a great and wonderful thing by having this show. Just want to share that in my family alone three of us have been in relationships with malignant narcissists. I believe there are many more of these dreadful people all around us than we know. My first boyfriend was a malignant narcissist and I got out of the relationship but he stalked me and tried to harm not only me but others in my family. This happened years ago in a country where the authorities refused to help us. My parents hired goons to frighten this bully away, and it worked. Two of my nieces married such monsters and are now divorced but had to move to different states to get away from the threat to their lives that resulted from the separations. The so-called anger management training did not work at all. I have had a wonderful life thanks to those goons. I am 86 years old, married to the same angel for 60 years, great kids, grandkids and soon a great grandchild. I believe bullies should be handled by bullies.
I’m in awe - my husband of 32 years exactly. All the traits Dr. Phil discussed he possesses. Unfortunately I only learnt of this word “narcissist” six years ago after a shocking discovery in his life. So happy I’m aware, I’ve come a far way. Thank you Dr. Phil!💕
@@ooduckoo NO THAT'S WRONG Dr Phil puts things into perspective that many people need, and feel better when they understand. DR Phil has worked hard in his life for his achievements, he didn't get them dropped to him on a silver platter, he earned everything he's got. You do your research and then apologise, not to me but just in general. 💛
My daughter is a narcissist. Everything you said about narcissism fit her exactly. I have a terminal illness and have recently extracted her from my life. Thanks for enlightening me on this. I now know I did the right thing. Just need peace in whatever time I have left. Much thanks
Yep! Everything you said about this personality disorder I've experienced. It was absolutely confounding to me at the distance they'll go to ruin other people's lives and how others got so easily manipulated and believed the lies. There's no cure. No medicine, no surgery, no amount of therapy to help them. They are how they are. Period. The only "cure" I found was going no contact. Now I live a peaceful life and I'm utterly grateful.
Thank you so much. Your series on narcissism has parted a dark fog for me. I couldn't understand why I could never ever do enough and if I stumbled on something I did to please him I would repeat it to get another moment of approval only to get a completely different reaction. I feel as though I am walking across a minefield with tripwires and when I think I know where they are, new ones seem to appear. I have wanted to leave for years but the cost benefit balance would tip back in his favour so many times. Now I see the truth and it has shocked me to the core that I have allowed this. I cannot unsee this now, so for now I need tools to negotiate the next stage. I look forward to the series on how to manage this.
If you decide to leave, you better have a place ready and be ready to go....pre-rent somewhere, a night move ..do not give notice and expect to have an in between time under the same roof. Start documenting everything and don't agree to last ditch effort marriage counseling. Get an attorney skilled in divorcing a narcissist and only deal in to the point non-emotional interactions with them.💝
My ex was diagnosed after I left him. But he didn’t believe them. I had two kids with him and I wished I didn’t had to be connected to him. I’ve learned so much from these videos. It has helped me to find a new way to communicate with him regarding the kids. Before I learned this he would take everything personal and start raging on me even over the phone. But boundaries and basically talking to him in a neutral way but friendly helped a lot. There is hope if you are willing take the time to get educated on the subject. Thank you for sharing!!
So far this series has been the most exhaustive description of what I've dealt with. I was married to a classic narcissist for 14 yrs and am divorcing what I believe to be a covert narcissist. I'm trying desperately to learn how to identify and avoid them in the future. I'm crushed after this most recent break up and I never want to go through this again. Thank you so much!!
Wow!! You are spot on Dr Phil! I became involved with a dark triad person when I was almost 22. I had lived a crazy life since I was 15 and I was ripe for the picking! The sadistic cruelty of him was insane. Just a little thing…he held me upside down with my face about an inch above a fire ant bed…and I stayed with him for years. I just turned 62 and I’m still in therapy, with a great psychiatrist. I don’t dwell on these things, no contact and a greater understanding of what happened to me. He was and still is sick. Every single thing you said gave me goosebumps because it’s all true. I’ve healed so much but sometimes that file falls off the shelf in my brain and I use every tool in my head to make sure I’m okay. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. 🥰
Mental Illness is rampant in our society. At least they play out of the same playbook. Their behavior is predictable which give you an advantage, because you can see the next move. It's called the Cycle of Abuse. Please Google this and learn whatever you can. Knowledge is an Advantage.
I had to be honest, I never listen to your podcast before Dr Phil and I wanted to tell you I enjoy it so much this one that I am going to listen the rest. As a person that lived with a Narcissist for 24 years you nailed it. I read many books about it and I stay away since 2009. I am very happy in my life I have no contact. I advise people go no contact but never disclose your intentions they can be most dangerous when they feel abandoned. Stay safe and listen to Dr Phil
OMG dr. Phil is absolutely correct and right on these toxic people. I am going through a lawsuit as we speak with my narcissist aunt. And everything that dr. Phil said was an is my aunt and I did not see any of this coming when I bought some property from her. Boy I wish this episode was here when I needed you dr. Phil my aunt is 100% what this video says.
Fantastic podcast Dr Phil! Your rare eloquence and the ease with which you engage with your audience to explain these concepts is utterly fascinating. I feel I am getting a top drawer university course on Narcissistic Personality Disorder from the world's top psychologist. These videos are pure gold - thank you! And what valuable work you are doing, spreading the word about these dangerous individuals. Knowledge is power, and the more people can know about their M.O., the better their chance of recognising and surviving them. In my experience the most dangerous category of narcissist by far is the Covert narc. Because they can be scarily skilled at hiding their toxic, ruthlessly self-serving narcissism behind a veneer of gentle, even vulnerable charm. Family annihilator Chris Watts springs to mind. A compulsive liar from childhood, over the years he learned to hide his ruthlessly self-serving nature behind the mask of a gentle, passive family man. He even had his wife of seven years fooled - Shanann didn't realise he was dangerous until he was strangling her to death. Friends who found out Watts had murdered his pregnant wife and two little girls were in total disbelief. One summed up their reactions, uttering the phrase: "He wouldn't hurt a fly!" A few Covert narcs have got my guard down over the years, and hurt me badly. The Malignant narcs are vicious, but they're so overt you can spot them a mile away and take evasive action!
I know exactly what you mean. I live with a Covert Narcissist.. everyone is fooled by her. Family and friends just love her because "she's so funny and nice"... Yeah, too their faces. Try living with this person. She tells everyone I said she is a narcissist and of course they do not see it because she fools them and even strangers!! All the while I walk on eggshells..😔
There’s a great book about maternal narcissism called “Will I ever Be Good Enough?”…. It was really the first time I saw my evil mother had fooled me all my life.
June 27 2023. Dr. Phil I’m a mother 78 I have a son 60 who I feel like is a narcissist because he’s always browbeating me and telling me I’m wrong and everything I say he beats down I try to help him he’s had a hard life he’s made a lot of mistakes because It makes me feel guilty that I don’t try to be there for him. He got a staff infection and now he’s paralyzed from the waist down and it’s made things even harder. I’m the only one that will let him in and I’m exhausted I’m beginning to wear down myself and as a mom that’s what makes me feel so guilty ! But I want to just run away!!!!!!
Dr Phil, I've watched you, when I was available from work, for years. You are always spot on with your knowledge. I've dealt with a narcissistic you man since he was 14. Lived across street with his grandmother and I became a "mom" in his life, grandmother and I became, and still are, very close like sisters. His mother, living in another state, didn't and couldn't take care of him due to her drug problems. Father, who is son of the grandmother, passed away when this young man was 3 thus grandmother had guardenship of him. He's now 24 and still lives with her. I saw every trait of narcissism, which you describe, and there's no changing, only worse with age. He was diagnosed, by a professional, with this. I tried to help grandmother off and on through the years, I bought most of clothes, shoes etc. Helped with car repairs and such. He continued getting worse, lieing about me and grandmother to others, etc. He was using me as well as many others, on and on. They live out of state now, she and I are very close but I cut ties with him. Steals, lies and all the other things. One day he'll stand before God and give an account of his life. Hopefully this brief testimony will help others on this channel. Thank you Dr Phil for each of your informative shows. Blessings to you and Robin
I've been married to a malignant narcissistic for 37 years and Thank God you and others are helping people like me. It's only been 1 year since I've completely got away from him because I wanted to believe he wasn't a liar.
@@DelMal6 I'm 90% bedridden. I finally realized God had a hugh purpose for me..not allowing evilness. Paying attention to the red flags, that I always ignored. I'm 47 yrs old, just this month I've grown sooo much and your worth it too 🙏🏽☮✝️🌻
Going to court with them through a divorce and child custody is a nightmare. I lost so much because he controlled everything and i was so blindsided. So much great insight and the world needs to be aware of their profiles!
Love dr Phil started watching him a few months ago and has learned and this stuff has helped me realize so much in my personal life I love how dr Phil helps and changes peoples like even if your not sitting and talking with him but I can definitely say he’s helping just talking about this
Im so thankful that you made this knowledge available. All my life I've known my mother wasn't right but this literally "Phil's in the blanks" I couldn't see prior! And helps me move on with my life and happiness. Who doesn't want approval from their parents? In these cases you'll never be enough and you'll be constantly reminded of all your short comings ( as well as the ones they make up about you). Thank you Dr. Phil for helping me validate my feelings!
These are true and informative. I have been around Narcissistic Individuals most of my life and different types as well. The Trauma Bond must be broken in to heal. I have worked 8 years on myself and am toxicity free by the Grace of Christ Jesus! AMEN! For anyone struggling, please listen ro Dr. Phil because there's hope. God Bless all. Amen!
Yes! Yes! Yes! To keep my response short, because I could tell you so much more, I was with a man like you described as a narcissistic psychopath for almost 2 years. I didn't see the real danger of this man until he nearly killed me. Sometimes I would notice strange behavior from him. How did I not see the signs? I am a good person that lives my life with compassion and empathy. I can hardly believe that I even had a relationship with this person, very unlike anyone that I would normally have been drawn to or associated with. Approximately 2 years later I found out that he committed suicide. Thank you for the insight Dr. Phil.
Wish I learned this before getting married and having children with one. They sure know how to annihilate those that stand up to them AND get away with it. Relentless, indeed. I learned it the hard way and will be sure that my children are educated on this when they are a little older. This needs to be taught in high school. Fewer lives would be ruined.
I think he most definitely authentic!! I am glad he has made videos of different types of personalities. It helps so many people get info and make a change. Thank you Dr. Phil
Psychopathy is really something else that is outside human experience (even on a spirituality level - born this way , and incurable ever -).. very few people and psychologists truly understand it.. Dr. Phil does.. I am not sure he is expert on it though.. Let's hope!!! A normal psychopath is WAAAYY much more dangerous than a mass murderer narcissist or a sociopath.. They erode the light bearers of society, and destroy its morals from within... Narcissists and Sociopaths still have conscience, even if it is a very skewed one.. Psychopaths operate outside the human experience totally..
So glad to hear you talking about this Dr. Phil! It's about time! THIS SHOULD BE TAUGHT IN ALL THE NEW SCHOOLS!! That is the kind of school I could actually teach in.
Thank you Dr P! These 3 parts have literally help me so much! I am living with family after a divorce and have a Malignant Narc parent. Self doubt and self-esteem issues have been causing a ton of problems and I couldn’t put a finger on it. I finally now have some information to build some cognitive tools. I really appreciate it things like this. Make the Internet life-changing
Dr Phil, my whole family are narcs, I have cPTSD because of it. High boundaries now. I cotton on to narcs petty fast. One lady in my neighbourhood had my head spinning, she's a do gooder but very self absorbed and grandiose. I realize she's a communial narcissist. If I tell her I am ill she never asks how I am, she sucks the air out of the room, cannot stand her. So boundaries are going up with her as well. I am getting great treatment for my cPTSD and feeling much better.
Thank you Dr Phil, it's super kind of you to do this series. I didn't have a good radar for toxic personalities, and this helps so much. Letting it go is not the same as forgiving - forgiveness is a gift from the victim to the contrite perpetrator who asks for forgiveness. Forgiveness entails a restoration of the relationship. So victims don't have to forgive those who don't regret or feel any remorse. Their crimes and sins are not forgiven until they feel genuine contrition in their heart. Letting go and living life without the pain of abuse is what recovery looks like for victims of the dark triads.
I'm so glad more and more awareness is coming to these personality types! It's very validating to hear when you've had experiences with these people, cause run-ins with them were definitely INvalidating. I love hearing Dr Phil talk about most anything = ) DoctorRamani has an excellent channel dedicated to this topic. I've learned so much there too! She really breaks it down.
She is quite amazing, isn't she. Dr. Ramani is definitely one of the go to's on this matter. You can tell she has dealt with a few of them during her lifetime.
Yes ,I've hears Dr Ranni aswel ..yes She has helped me too..and yes she breaks it down gets into how and why..I need to know why ...Dr Phil is anotherckevel though..excellent..Thank my God
My ex Narc told me he was the devil. And I still believe it. The horrific words and things he did when gaslighting me, I've been without this abuse for 3 months. I'm healing myself through videos. It's going to take time. Plus he still gets to hoover me. I face the fact, he could just appear anywhere that I may be. It makes me sick to my stomach , when I think of seeing. Thanks Dr. Phil
Yes same like the ex Narc i was with, almost died from the physical abuse!! And his eyes changed completely BLACK and the evil energy that emanated from him !!! Wanted to throw up!! Had to look somewhere else to break the stare!! I know how you feel with the stomach sickness!!!
@@PatriciaDeBride omg his eyes would turn black, I mean that's like someone who's possessed,that's out of the ordinary! I'm so sorry for you,may God protect you!
Hi there, hope you are doing better. Did you get ride of him or is he still harassing you? Do you have any suggestion how to stop your ex from coming into your life? Thank you if you will reply to me🌺.
Dr. Phil...Thank you SO much for putting this info out there. I just now realized how dangerous this Narcisssist is, and how blocking him and going no contact might even save my life!!!!
This Is my mother. I’ve known this for the past few years but it just sucks. I tried so hard to change her and have her have some insight into her situation and it was just futile. She thinks she is perfect and nothing is wrong. It’s always my fault.I was so frustrated for 25 years of my life living with her. I finally moved from New York to California to get away and finally start my life. It has gotten significantly better in such a short amount of time after I left that environment.
@@lanemoorebill4549 No you can’t. Clearly the poster tried to “help” the so called “mother” ( more like monster) and finally understood: If your presence isn’t helping, your absence won’t hurt. And there’s plenty of mommy-dearests who are just. simply. EVIL.
This fits my ex mother in law to a t. I stood up to her trying to control the way we was running the house. Boy oh boy she went on a smear tactic to everyone that I had relationship with. That I was a horrible person and my wife and step son should leave me. And she accomplish it! These people are good at what they do!
Our family has been forever changed by a narcissist. Our daughter has not had a relationship with anyone in her family for several years because of her now husband. It all started when they were dating and progressed pretty quickly. She is isolated, even works at home, no longer goes to church, and has no friend community. We do talk on the phone and text as of a couple years ago, thankfully. She said her husband encouraged it, which doesn't surprise me after hearing your series. At least I can hear her voice and know that she is doing ok. After listening, I don't see how we are going to get past this and actually have a relationship. He has a tight grip. Heartbreaking.
I lived with a malignant narcissist for over 7 years. He almost destroyed me. Thankfully I escaped 2 years ago. I still have some ptsd, but my anxiety levels are getting much better. I’m able to sleep again which I couldn’t do for 2 years before I left him. He’s very sick and sadistic,
Pure evil. I never knew pure evil existed like this. Calculating, manipulating & the need or drive to make the victims seem mentally unstable. I’ve learned the best way to deal with it is to just not talk about it. It’s better that way. 2 people know the truth. Me & them. No one else’s approval is needed for me.
I have several family members that are narcissists and this information in knowing how to deal with them has been extremely helpful, I can’t thank you enough.
Perfect timing - I find my “friend” is becoming more and more toxic towards me. Suddenly, things make so much more sense. It is NOT just all MY fault. What a relief !
@@cannabclaus8036 My friend has started making hurtful comments towards me, more often than a few months prior. When I tell her that I feel hurt, she shrugs it off and tells me either that I mis-understood, that she did not say what I told her she said, or that I’m just too sensitive. Never did she apologise. I also noticed that whenever she contacts me nowadays, it turns out she needed something from me, e.g. looking after her cat while she is vacationing with other friends. She has never invited me to join her and her crowd for a holiday. Furthermore, when we meet, she tends to go on and on with telling me about all the exciting stuff she did, and how great a time she had. And when I attempt to tell her about what I did, she often interrupts me and changes the subject back to her interests, or it is obvious that she does not pay attention to me (she is much more attentive to her phone than to me). When telling her that I think she did not listen to what I’ve just said, she replies that the topic does not interest her, or that she feels tired (because of her oh so busy days). And on the rare occasion we do discuss a topic, and she has a different opinion than I, she belittles me personally with hurtful comments, rather than trying to see things from my point of view and accept that we disagree. - I have finally decided to distance myself from her.
None of it was your fault. You didn't make this person into the person that they are. And I'm pretty sure if they weren't like that, you wouldn't have done the things you did. You didn't do anything wrong trust me.
@@timewoundsallheels4ever distant yourself from her you need to cut her off completely she is abusing you and it will become even worse than what you described. How do I know I did the same thing and I had to reflect on my past what made me accept this type of behavior
This is why it is so important for parents, teachers, and law enforcement to work together to monitor those children /teens that are on a dangerous trajectory.
I am learning to look in the eyes and mouth after they have asked a question as they are very good at fooling other people into thinking what great people they are- they are truly terrifying people
I wish we I had discovered this decades ago! Raised in a very dsfuntional family of origin with a raging, domineering mother, married a sociopath who made my life a nightmare and when I finally divorced him he attempted to have me abducted and as the cops told me, if the attempt was successful, they would have found my body in a ditch. My younger sister is a malignant narcissist that for decades put me through the love bombing/raging episodes and then disappear for years only to reappear and do the syndrome over and over. I have finally gone the no contact path and it is like letting go of a hot iron. Thank you for helping me and countless others who struggle with these predators!
Just amazing, I’ve been listening to a Dr.Ramini, randomly when I heard her talking about narcissistic personalities and I recognised right away that’s what I was dealing with. I luckily chose to click on your video breaking things down even more, A lot of your points are really hitting home, I’m looking forward to your continuing sessions.
I had a consultant that I hired that was like this. They went from helping me with my business to trying to tell me how to live my life. There is definately traits on this running very strong in this individual. The ironic thing is this was soneone who used to "help" me. When it started getting personal is when it changed and went to toxic behavior . I called them out and now they hate me for it. I am doing better and very aware of this now. I stay away .
U were lucky ...because that narcissist ...could have taken over your business and ground it down ....the best thing to do is run ..u have to go no contact ..make sure u documented everything because they can hoover u back in thru friends and aquaintences .....they dont care about u ...they are so predatory ... and u are nothing but a fuel source to be exploited .for their agenda till they have used u up and then they are onto the next victim and u are disguarded
@@kathleentoomey4640 im glad that you had the presence of mind to do this ...u did the tight thing ....unfortunately.....these type of people specialize in targeting decent folks ...and take advantage of their goodness ...they know full well what they were doing ...and my friend said ...dont gossip and wanted to give this person the benefit of the doubt ...and i told her be careful ..but it went south ...and she still forgave this person for causing problems in her marriage ..i tried to say dont get too close ..but it hurt my friend deeply .. i dont know what else to say ...but i tried .. to warn her .
@@maryleung1425 So sorry to hear this. I can say that I have had a very strict upbringing and my core values helped me with this person. They tried to charm me and it didn't pass my moral compass. They do a lot of emotional damage. I am sorry for your friend.
@@kathleentoomey4640 i know what u are talking about.... my friend was a churchgoer .... and she was also blind and so was her husband ...but she would say dont listen to gossip and would give the person the benefit of the doubt .... which are all admirable qualities ..,.. the thing was this person was new to her church ....meaning a new audience for her tale victimhood....got lots of empathy and did their best to welcome her in .... but i got this sinking feeling .. that instinctive feelings on edge that something is really wrong ....i said to my friend that i dont trust her ...but my friend was doing the right christian thing ... im saying be careful ... and then there was an incident ....my friend told me what happened in her prayer group ... i was furious .... because my friend was blind and so was her husband ...and this woman interferred with her blind husband physically .in the middle of prayer group ...and the husband thought it was his wife who was doing the deed ...cause he couldnt see and my friend couldnt see ....this new .person gave the excuse ...said ....the devil made me do it ...,im like ..what the frick .... this woman should have been charged .....she knew better ...this woman took advantage and abused the disabled husband ...while the blind lady who befriended her and was helping her . ...never in my whole life i had ever seen an incident like this ....my friend forgave her .because she wanted to do the right thing ....so the new person moved on ....then a couple of months later i was attending a social function at this other church ...and i met the same woman again that caused all this trouble .....and guess what ...she was at this new church ...and the new church was trying to do the right thing by helping her .....and this woman saw me ... and i saw her .... i felt so morally ill and disgusted ......this person was from church to church ..i know there are people who legit need a helping up ,...but this took it to a whole different level ...
![Phil in the Blanks: Toxic Personalities in the Real World Pt.4 Malignant, Communal Narcissist [EP90]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Bws2gMvxoOg/mqdefault.jpg)
![Phil in the Blanks: Toxic Personalities in the Real World Pt.4 Malignant, Communal Narcissist [EP90]](/img/tr.png)
This should be required to be heard by every attorney, police officer, social worker, judge…..anybody who has anything to do with dealing with children in family court!!
Police are like malignant narcissists....anything you say can and will be used against you.
...and how many authorities are malignant narcissistic personalities?
It was the police who first put the word narcissist in front of me. They were so shocked by how my husband handled himself during an arrest, that they came to talk to me later - one of the officers even pushed off leaving for his vacation to do this - to explain to me what they experienced while arresting my husband and to say that he is the most narcissistic person they've ever encountered. They felt worried for my and my kid's safety with someone like that. So, it is good when there are people in those positions that know something about this, but yes, it really needs to be required information. Especially judges I think need to know about personality disorders.
ABSOLUTELY this should be a REQUIREMENT Gioria Horvath
I know…. It seems like they’re the last people to learn about them
My ex husband contracted syphilis from from a prostitute, got himself treated but failed to tell his pregnant wife (me!). 5 months later, with my organs failing and my son in perinatal distress the ex told my medical team what they should be looking for. I spent 93 days in the hospital with a short stay in ICU, and my son was born with syphilis. A therapist told me who the ex really was and she SAVED my life. The syphilis was the LEAST of what he did to me once the mask slipped.
I spent two years in homeless housing with my kids after he wiped everything and changed the locks to our home, but today we're free, healed and thriving! I'm so lucky and fortunate!!!
Wow ! So great to hear you are thriving
Amen thank you Jesus
❤🌹
I'm so happy for you. How old were your children when this began? I'm so concerned for my 6 & almost 4 year old grandchildren becoming narcissists
My heart breaks for the suffering you endured from the evil narcissist ex and so happy you and your children are now in a place of freedom and tranquility. I pray that God continues to shower you with blessings!
This should be required listening for family court judges. I spent 10 years in and out of court with a malignant narcissist, and he kept getting everything he asked for with his money and charm (and vicious attorney to do his bidding). It’s sport for them. Thank you, Dr Phil for this important series.
Sorry to hear that. I went through the same ordeal. All those legal professionals and counselors got played and probably didn't even realize it.
Your comment is SO true! 16 years ago the two women who were supposed to intercede for us on behalf of my children (I can’t remember their court appointed title) were totally convinced by him of the great guy he was. They pretty much treated me as though I was stupid when I mentioned the word narcissist.
My son went through the opposite. The Mom in our case to a special needs little boy. He can’t just walk away,
@@Carol-lz6dd Guardian ad li them maybe.
¹111
Thanks Dr Phil. My mom is malignant narsisist. I was the scapegoat, my brother the golden child and my two sisters the enablers. I never knew how bad my childhood was and thus normalised it. Yet I always knew that something was off. I suffered from PTSD and panic attacks. I had no help, no friends, no one I could trust. (My broter even raped me of which I have no recollection - it only came out 15 years ago)
I am now 59 years. Over the years I went for therapy but the pshycologists (5 of them) never found the "problem". That made me feel even more isolated and "wrong." The last 10 years I started reading relevant books and found the internet most helpful. And then my healing started. Realising that I was in a trap; I realised years ago that I must break all contact with my family. It took however, some time to actually do that. Realising that a period of mourning will be part of it.
But when I did, oh! how free I felt! Almost immediately my whole life changed for the better. I am now captain of my ship master of my soul. And learning and exploring what I really want and need as I have supressed so many parts of myself. It's loveley not to experience panic attacks so often and revel in the safety in the home I have created for myself. (Dr Ramani, others and now yourself have been of great help.)
There is so much I can share to help others but space is limited. Everyone reading this must know that they are magnificent and rezilient to overcome anything. Where there is a will, there is a way. It is our birthright to be free, happy and safe.
Maggie, your experience with your mother , golden child brother, enabling siblings was my identical experience. Bless you!
Congratulations 🎊 👏 well done on your escape. It was a brave move to make. Wishing you an awesome future 🎉
That’s a VERY VERY LONG COMMENT. 🥺🥺🥺
@@maggiewernich8395 well done you great girl.Yes it can take so much courage to break free but when you do it feels so right.
A big virtual hug to you from me and I hope you feel the warmth from it. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I wish I would of learned about these types of people in my earlier years. So much damage was done but at 61 there is still hope for a life
I got rid of my ex and my mother. Both beat me down mentally and physically, but those tapes are still in my head.
@@lindav1189 I’m so sorry, Ms. Linda. The voices we hear in our heads as adults are the voices we heard from our “mothers.” Sadly, when our normal is pathological, we tend to tie up with someone who has the same qualities-we all are attracted to that which is familiar. This is the sad legacy of our childhood which is replayed in so many ways in adult life. We don’t see this clearly when we’ve been conditioned from birth to accept the unacceptable.
Again, I am so sorry, Ms. Linda. I hope your journey getting out of both of the relationships gives you the time and a safe place to recover. Best wishes. Please remember *you matter too.* Cyber hugs if you’re up for them. If not, that’s fine too. :-)
Yvette I went through the same thing to 7 years I can't believe I wasted my beauty on him,
I'm with you sister!!
@@tundrawomansays5067 you are so kind to take the time to write. You are very intuitive. I don't like to be hugged. Hands, arms, coming at me are soooo uncomfortable. Thank you for being so thoughtful.
A malignant narcissist who fits into the “dark triad” should be feared. Get out! Don’t risk triggering their darkest selfishness. Thank you Dr. Phil.
The emotional chaos, the put downs the anger these people create is down right exhausting
Yes!
Your 1000 percent correct ….
I’ve listened to Dr Phil 3times today .I really enjoyed this every minute .
Me too, once I found this topic I realized how much a family member was affecting my life.
Exactly
Married to one for over twenty years before a therapist saved me from self destructing. This is a much needed topic. Thank you.
@leann - I can absolutely relate, except for the therapist part. I learned about the various types (very late in life) by randomly finding & listening to Dr. Les Carter & Dr. Ramani - on TH-cam. Previously I had only been aware of Overt Narcs. 🙄 What a wake-up call 😳🤯
@@mdee860 it’s still hard to believe such evil exists.
@@leannaustin723 - yes, so true. I felt so stupid as I first did that deep dive. However, I've come to realize, that's his problem, not mine. Nice, kind, empathic people just don't think that Narcs "think" the way they do. "After" marrying my Covert Narc is when he finally started dropping his mask, yet I STILL didn't understand what was happening. CIt took 3 years for that to happen. I knew Jack-Squat about Silent Treatments, Lying by Omission, Selective Amnesia, Walking on Eggshells, Gaslighting, Passive-aggressive behavior & on & on! We both worked long hours (50-65 hours) per week, 6 to 6.5 days per week, sometimes even more! I had zero time to stop & analyze. Uuugh
Exactly! The more people that learn about this could save thereselves but it usually isn’t obvious at first, because we’re blinded by “love” due to their manipulation! Ask anyone who’s been thru this nightmare! Thanks Dr. Phil, I’m taking notes. Changes in my life finally. Very important shows, thank you!
I was a victim of a narcissist here a month ago. My ex was a narcissist too. They seem to prey on the nicest people :/
Yes, this is te first step! Realizing what is is in you that attracts them! In my case codependent personality
That's what they dooooooo!!!!🙄
Yes, they look down on nice people although they will never admit it.
To a narc, kindness is like synonymous with murder or death.
They see compassion as a sort of twisted crime.
Yes I understand this. I would do just about anything someone asks me but they take advantage to say the least.
They use kindest as an inlet to play people to their detriment. It's totally maniacal. The narcs are the weak, SPINELESS worms of society.
I’m walking out of this right now! I’m in tears and in fear because this literally describes my husband perfectly!! He’s about to be served and that worries me. He knows he’s losing control and he’s scrambling. He’s making himself look like the victim. I did not realize that calling him out on this behavior was so dangerous. I do now. Thank you for putting this out for people to see.
I hope you are well and safe. God bless you.
Hello, Are you Okay? I Pray that you were able to leave your husband safely, and found a safe place to stay 😊!
@@natalietillery4083 yes I was. I’ve been divorced for a year almost and I’m safe. Thank you 🙏🏼
You and Dr. Ramini are on the exact same page. Took me a long time to realize these people have a real (sad) diagnosis. But now I have less pain and more understanding. Feel sorry for them but feel more sorry for their victims. No cure. They just find another “supply. Run from these people and NEVER to them. Thank you Dr. Phil.
I like your comment.👍
Dr Ramini is such a helpful resource on the topic.
Good advice! Thank you!
They are good actors- and yes, it is so sad
I see no reason to “feel sorry” for predator/parasites. They already have a world of self-pity and surely are not entitled to any of mine. Any adult who’s stomping on your “feel sorry for/pity meeeee” Button is actively working on disarming you. “Feeling sorry for” ensures your defenses are down, the better to predate on you.
When the doctor told me that my husband was a narcissistic sociopath, I was so relieved. I thought I was the one who was off, sort of speak. He had me almost convinced that I was crazy, just like his ex. But, by then, he had my life in a wreck. My life is a nightmare. Thank you so much for all of this information. God bless you!!
The ex was probably not crazy either!
@@ICU-mw7su y'all 100% are.
Research indicates Narcissistic types exist together.
Codependents and malignancy.
Ie covert and overt presentations.
I know because y'all always play victim even when it's socially not responsible or needed. Not everyone is for sure, but if you stayed with a NPD person for longer than 6 months, you aren't perceiving reality properly FROM THE GET GO EITHER..
I had to accept all these facts to actually get better, not false perception of being better, or some wierd idealistic metamorphosis... 😂
You don't 'deal' with them, you RUN! I'm running...my sanity is seriously slipping after 2 yrs of verbal emotional psychological abuse.
I can so relate - thought I was beginning to go insane.
The verbal, emotion abuse and, projection and mind games was almost daily. 5 years of this. I had to run away
🇹🇹 I agree. You run! You cannot cure madness!
@@Tend-er-Rose The effect it has on one's psyche is frightening I also thought I was going crazy. I'm so happy you got away Rosie. Please find yourself again and rejoice in the wonderful freedom. Sending you love and blessings from South Africa. Take good care of yourself xx
2 years is alot
Imagine 18 years
I've almost lost my mind
@@amwil4980 18 years...that's unbelievable, how did you manage to NOT lose your mind!? How are you doing now, are you still in the insanity?
Every time we hear all these terrible things about narcissism, its so sad for all innocent people..Thank you for all the message.
I am divorcing this person right now and I'm trapped living with him until I get enough money to get a place for myself and my kids. My therapist has warned me that he is dangerous. My family doesn't believe because he has always been careful not to put his hands on us. I am getting in my car right now and driving to my moms to play this for her. This sent chills down my spine. I knew he was a narcissist, and I knew he was incapable of empathy, but I never thought of him as a psychopath. He abuses our pets, and has threatened horrible things to them. I don't know why I didn't see it before.
@ Candace Woodburn: I got away, just in time. Mine would have killed me.
Good luck sweetheart. Stay focused on making a safe and happy life for you and your children. ❤️
Same…I am in the process of leaving, he hurts our pet and is just awful to us.
My husband has put hands on me once and turned it around saying I started it… he hasn’t done that again but he is very harmful to the pets and threatens what he’ll do to the dog. I’m afraid one day he will put hands on me again. But I cannot financially leave and my ENTIRE family lives in another city 4 hours away so I can’t just up and leave. Oh and I don’t have access to any of the money cuz it’s I his bank account. I pray I get the strength and opportunity to just leave like so many others have been able too.
@@yvonnealdava2560 once is good enough! Take a vehicle and go to your family with your bags, they will understand. Stay there for a while and find you a good job to start, pursue your divorce while at the family. Hopefully you can bring your pet with you, if not find a good rescue organization that will work with you, you can not leave your pet at the house* I did this over 9 years ago with my baby, we left and I didn’t have work or money, but I went to live with my parents and found a job. I never even told them I was coming, because when he left for work, I left from him.
I was married to a man like this for 23yrs before I finally gave up ! He caused me to have 3 nervous breakdowns ! I was raised to understand that marriage was a covenant you made to each other , and that you did not divorce , that the husband is the head of the house and makes all the decisions ! I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me , it was my decision to stay with him ! Please pay close attention to what Dr Phil is saying , be so very careful in choosing your life mate , take time to truly get to know them before you make a commitment to them ! Pay attention to how they treat others ! Thank you Dr Phil for making these videos to bring this to everyone's attention ❤
No offense, sometimes certain religious passages, are not that black and white. While the Bible speaks of ending marriages due to infidelity, it should also discuss forms of abuse. Since God is ❤ love, in addition to, a God of justice, HE does not want individuals to suffer in marriages.
This should be taught in high school!! No better way to protect yourself than with knowledge!! Dr. Phil, thank you!! This series really should be labeled as a PSA, and a MUCH needed one as that! Would love a series on healthy boundaries, it’s hard to be nice these days and when that’s your authentic self expression, it ruins the experience and can lead to depression!
I've been saying that for years, and also introduced to kids in middle school.
My ex is a malignant narcissist. He found fault behind the backs with the first two marriage counselors we saw, but charmed their socks off during counseling.
The third counselor we'd been in session for about 15minutes when my ex *exploded* in a rage yelling, "You think you can diagnose me?!??!! You think you're that smart?!??!!"
The counselor emphatically said, "Yes."
I could have hugged that man because finally someone else saw through the facade my ex presented.
The only "cure" is having no contact.
Stay safe and strong! 🙏
Knowledge = powee
Knowledge = power
TOTALLY AGREE 100%..😑
And may I add Elementary teachers bcz this behavior begins young most of the time. It would save some alot of grief to know what you are REALLY dealing with...
An example is watching the show "Evil lives here"
Thank you 😊❤ my narc is currently in jail for strangling and raping me. Trial is coming up. I've been diagnosed with c-ptsd. Severe anxiety and depression. Difficulty functioning after years of gaslighting, raging, lying, prostitutes and never feeling safe. Thank you for your series. In addition, I'd like to say, victims are not stupid. I have a masters in psychology. I speak 5 languages and have multiple other degrees. "They" are so brilliant in their ability to mess with your mind. You fall down the rabbit hole and lose yourself. No one can understand this unless you've been a victim. Thank you. I believe intermittent reinforcement is what kept me locked into the "relationship". So much love and kindness then I'm a "stupid f***ing c**t". Mind and emotions whirling. I gave him everything and he just exploited me. My kindness, compassion, empathy and willingness to work hard and placate him. My sense of loyalty and understanding. It's simply never enough. You can't fill up another individual with NPD. Thank you and God bless.
Wow! I am so happy that you are out of that situation. I know that you have a long road ahead of you in your healing process and I wish you and your family all the success on your healing. I could believe having a degree is psychology made him behave even worst. Most narcissits think that they can outsmart their psychologist.
I'm with you there. They can't stand it if you are smart or successful. Mine told me that making me look bad to everyone made him shine. He is pur evil. My heart goes out to you.
❤❤❤❤❤🥰 Good luck with life... Your a strong person.. Keep going forward 💪
Wow, you are smart and beautiful, thats what HE needs, you have it in abundance, and now even more, because you know, he is sick. You are not sick, just sore. 5 languages, wow if i was a narc. I would make you pay for that too, making me feel inferior! Ha, joke, but also im shaking my head. But having a big heart, staying in the cycle, no one, no matter how smart ,can out smart that cycle untill u get too tired to keep running like the mouse in the wheel. Congrats, u can make your new life. Bootcamp done.
Agreed
I've heard the c word soo much you would think that's my name
Thank you Dr Phil. Yes, these are the most dangerous people! Thank GOD I survived!! Once you realize you are in danger, PLEASE GET OUT!! I Pray for all who are in this horrible situation, especially children🙏
💖🙏
I am so incredibly thankful for your words, explanations, examples. It has truly helped me to accept that these narcissistic people DO mean what they do and say. They are not just "having a bad day", "need to vent" however, it is constantly and violently when challenged. They say they "want' a relationship, but not in the way that is healthy, loving and kind. It is sad that they have no interest in being kind for the sake of being loving and kind.
I needed this information 50 years ago
Me too!!
I suffered in the hands of my brother. One day I just packed the bag and left the country, He even sent his friends to talk to me. He abused me from age 7 to 40. No sexually but verbal and physical abuse. Alienated me from my friends. Irony is I am a [now retired] physician.
Me too ,I’m 70
@@VijayaBjoshiwell done you
I needed this 29 years ago 😣
Dr. Phil, I'm so glad you're talking about this subject.
I think we as a society have been reluctant to face the reality of evil.
We don't deal with it.
We sort of hide from it.
Thanks for doing this. Please do a segment on the victims of these characters, the survivors and their path to recovery. It’s a hard road, but it’s worth it.
Beloved Child I think that's a great idea! -luv your profile pic! ❣️
Yes! That is a super great idea!! After learning sooo much the past few years, and finally found the courage and an open door to get out for good!
But now what? I’m not the same person. I’m changed…damaged even.
How much did this permanently change me? How much trust, and joy, if any, might I get back?
Even after seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, finally, after waiting and wanting it for so very long, I am still feeling hopeless. Like a failure. With so little self confidence and self worth remaining, and honestly, very little motivation to reach out to find some part of my former self again.
He may have well just killed me years ago, because I already feel like I’ve died. ❤️
@@lisafiedler4513 I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. Please don’t give up. Keep at the healing, keep working on your self confidence. I’m going through it too, 4 years into my healing, and I’m so much better, but not fully healed. For me it was childhood trauma, abuse and neglect that made me vulnerable. I’m working on healing it. I hope you’re doing ok today, and I wish you well on your healing journey. ❤️❤️❤️
EXCELLENT IDEA!!
Ppl gets Ptsd after Narcisstic abuse, bcs it is so stressful, others even get Fatique and that's an total burn out ‼️Take your time to heal ‼️
The way he talks about how malignant narcissists could be politicians and goes off on that tangent. Chef's kiss.
I am so thankful that you decided to do this series! Until you went over the characteristics of a narcissist at the end of one of your television programs, I had no idea what narcissist even meant! As you went over these characteristics, I had to literally sit down! I am 70 years old and I have been dealing with a 77 year old sister who fit every one of the characteristics! I knew she had to be mentally ill because normal people do not act the way she does, about anything! It was such a relief to know that now there is a name to her toxic personality. I have listened to 3 of your podcasts and she has almost all the traits in your descriptions! I thank God that you are bringing this to our attention. Thank you so much! This has given me so many answers to her behavior that my family and I have had to deal with our entire life!
Vicki I hear you! I am glad you found these videos so to frame your sister's behavior. For me, a sister, father (deceased) and x husband.
I have to say besides learning so much from Dr.Phil I am so pleased to be able to share with everyone here and knowing we are not alone.
This is a great series Dr. Phil and ppl should listen to it. My ex-boyfriend is a malignant narcissist and he damn near killed me and of course blamed me for it. He has since been locked up in prison for almost killing another girlfriend after me. I sure hope they threw away the key because he is a danger to society.
Sending so much love your ways 🦋💖
Praying for your recovery from such demon
glad you are safe and healing. KNowledge is power and we are all thankful for it and everyone's comments!
There is a criminal.justice system. Where is the victim justice system?
Same here! I'm so happy I survived! He was very scary and he had me thinking I was the crazy one! He's out of jail now and I hope I never see him again! 😢
You are at your best when you do these types of educational yet interpersonal type of videos. Not only have I learned a lot from you (your education and background truly sets you apart from many of these types of videos) but I felt like you were literally in my living room having a one-on-one. Thank you Dr. Phil!
This has been very helpful, Dr. Phil. Especially for someone that has ever been a target of a Malignant Narcissist.
Single mom here with 4 young children making my way through the family court process against who I feel is at best a malignant narcissist. The journey has been a spiritual awakening I am so grateful for despite a marriage fraught with narcissistic abuse and present day legal stresses. That being said, videos like these are incredibly supportive, informative and validating. This helps me hold my power and stay in a peaceful place. I know I am not alone. Thank you 🙏
Praying for you today. God give you wisdom and strength! You can make it and your children can come out blessed and protected ❤️
You are not alone. I raised four kids too and left a horrible ex husband and believe me thats when the healing starts. You will get through this and be happy in your life and children too. Mine are grown up now and with families of their own.They all turned out living life happy and with good partners. It was years of councilling and good support. It took me longer because I had to deal with my childhood too. Things do get better. Blessings to you.
@@yvettemoreel4237 Thank you for your kind words. It means so much, as I am sure you know, to hear about similar journeys. Your message is encouraging and a reminder that my efforts to be positive and grounded now will absolutely pay off with my beautiful children. I am grateful. 🤗❤️
@@imyourfriend8582 Amen and thank you. 🙏
MY FATHER......MY HUSBAND.......MANY OF MY FRIENDS.......REALLY HORRIBLE......THEY ALL TRIED TO DESTROY ME....BUT I AM STILL HERE. DR. PHIL PUTTING MEANING TO ALL THIS IS WONDERFUL. I AM LISTENING AND SAYING "YUP YUP YUP.....THAT'S RIGHT..." AND FINISHING MANY OF HIS SENTENCES. BETTER TO BE ALONE THAN WITH THESE TYPES OF PEOPLE.
I POSTED YOUR PART 1 TO A FACEBOOK CATFISH GROUP OF 4,000 PEOPLE.
I can recommend you to a powerful Dr for help
➕2349068923240⏭️⏯️
Dr OSI can help you on this
There are a ton of narcissists out there, so questioning if you are one is important. Instead of just immediately assuming you aren't.
Most narcissists would never admit to being one.
@@dgator3599 yeah like half these comments bro 😭
My husband used to talk about a man who he deemed the most dangerous man he knew. He said, "He's evil enough to think of the most heinous things and he's stupid enough to not consider the consequences and just do them." To him, no diagnosis of a mental disease was necessary. When we learn a person has murdered his entire family or a child has murdered her parents or a mother has murdered her baby it seems that many people immediately start trying to put some reason behind the terrible act that was committed. "Oh, he had a terrible childhood or she was abused by her ex-husband or she has a mental disease" and I grow weary of hearing all these psycho-babble excuses and wonder "When did we take the word 'evil' out of our vocabulary? Why don't we call it what it is. He murdered his family because he is evil! PERIOD! I was delighted to hear Dr. Phil use the word "evil".
Narcissist is something they learn in childhood. That’s why people go back to childhood. Murders are mainly psychopaths/sociopaths
As I've always said!!!!!!😊
@@melissasequeiros1801 Psychopathy is really something else that is outside human experience (even on a spirituality level - born this way , and incurable ever -).. very few people and psychologists truly understand it.. Dr. Phil does.. I am not sure he is expert on it though.. Let's hope!!!
A normal psychopath is WAAAYY much more dangerous than a mass murderer narcissist or a sociopath.. They erode the light bearers of society, and destroy its morals from within...
Narcissists and Sociopaths still have conscience, even if it is a very skewed one.. Psychopaths operate outside the human experience totally..
@@MK-fk4kp Malignant narcissistic personality disorder is extremely dangerous too. Plus, if they’re covert, you get the added ‘bonus’ of almost no one but you knowing the truth. They’re very adept at being charming and playing the victim to gain sympathy, so when you’re finally on to them and recognize the severity of the disorder, it’s very difficult to convince others that could help you of the truth and so becomes extremely dangerous. They do not want their real self exposed and will go to great lengths to prevent that. No matter the cost, including your life. My husband of many years suffered with this. It’s a miracle that my daughter and I are still alive-and sane. I won’t go into details here.
I believe it runs in families, too. His mother had borderline personality disorder, and his only brother has it, too, to a lesser degree, minus the covert. He set his ex-wife’s house on fire.
Everything they do is evil!
My sister and now ex- husband are both malignant narcissists. Both were enabled by their mothers. It took me 40 years to figure out what was going on. They terrorize and lead to this day. Both are ruthless and evil. Everything that you say is 100% spot on. Your clarification helps me cope. Thank you.
😮
NO CONTACT!!! with these sort of people, EVER!!!
🎯💯🎯💯🎯💯🎯
I just cut contact with my daughter because her behavior and people she associated with were endangering me. I'm wondering if she's a malignant narcissist.
Exactly! Complete no contact. And even then they find sneaky little ways to still inflict some sort of trauma or abuse. You just have to control your reactions & pretend like they don’t even exist.
Thanks Dr. Phil, I’m learning how to cope . Wish I had this knowledge when I was young ! At 79 yrs old I am now physically and emotionally drained and disabled. Don’t want anyone to end up this way, due to staying with or around malignant people, or toxic personalities !
I am 51 years old. The narcissist in my life is my sibling who has destroyed me my whole life. I've been studying for 15+ years. I'm finally getting clarity to heal. I believe I have ptsd /pnsd. I've had to go no contact with my whole family. If you ever want to study a severe case like mine. I'm open to it. I've had alot of damage & so has my son. I'm learning every day how to find myself again. Thank you for this series.
Was just thinking of apologizing to a malignant narcissistic relative, but decided, after hearing this, to just let things be and avoid them
God no!!! NEVER apologize to a M-NPD person. I’m so glad you saw this. This is my eh. Horribly emotionally (and physically) abusive!!!!!
Apologies always make them worse
Good for you!
Dr. Phil, I have subscribed to your show. You are doing a great and wonderful thing by having this show. Just want to share that in my family alone three of us have been in relationships with malignant narcissists. I believe there are many more of these dreadful people all around us than we know. My first boyfriend was a malignant narcissist and I got out of the relationship but he stalked me and tried to harm not only me but others in my family. This happened years ago in a country where the authorities refused to help us. My parents hired goons to frighten this bully away, and it worked. Two of my nieces married such monsters and are now divorced but had to move to different states to get away from the threat to their lives that resulted from the separations. The so-called anger management training did not work at all. I have had a wonderful life thanks to those goons. I am 86 years old, married to the same angel for 60 years, great kids, grandkids and soon a great grandchild. I believe bullies should be handled by bullies.
I’m in awe - my husband of 32 years exactly. All the traits Dr. Phil discussed he possesses. Unfortunately I only learnt of this word “narcissist” six years ago after a shocking discovery in his life. So happy I’m aware, I’ve come a far way. Thank you Dr. Phil!💕
@@ooduckoo Precisely.
@@ooduckoo NO THAT'S WRONG Dr Phil puts things into perspective that many people need, and feel better when they understand.
DR Phil has worked hard in his life for his achievements, he didn't get them dropped to him on a silver platter, he earned everything he's got.
You do your research and then apologise, not to me but just in general. 💛
@Danny Armstrong so why did you watch this?
The irony of this comment.
@@ooduckoo 1
My daughter is a narcissist. Everything you said about narcissism fit her exactly. I have a terminal illness and have recently extracted her from my life. Thanks for enlightening me on this. I now know I did the right thing. Just need peace in whatever time I have left. Much thanks
Yep!
Everything you said about this personality disorder I've experienced. It was absolutely confounding to me at the distance they'll go to ruin other people's lives and how others got so easily manipulated and believed the lies.
There's no cure. No medicine, no surgery, no amount of therapy to help them. They are how they are. Period.
The only "cure" I found was going no contact. Now I live a peaceful life and I'm utterly grateful.
I agree -- no contact!
Thank you so much. Your series on narcissism has parted a dark fog for me.
I couldn't understand why I could never ever do enough and if I stumbled on something I did to please him I would repeat it to get another moment of approval only to get a completely different reaction.
I feel as though I am walking across a minefield with tripwires and when I think I know where they are, new ones seem to appear.
I have wanted to leave for years but the cost benefit balance would tip back in his favour so many times.
Now I see the truth and it has shocked me to the core that I have allowed this.
I cannot unsee this now, so for now I need tools to negotiate the next stage.
I look forward to the series on how to manage this.
yes, dealing with a dr. Jeckyl/Hyde and walking on eggshells.
If you decide to leave, you better have a place ready and be ready to go....pre-rent somewhere, a night move ..do not give notice and expect to have an in between time under the same roof. Start documenting everything and don't agree to last ditch effort marriage counseling. Get an attorney skilled in divorcing a narcissist and only deal in to the point non-emotional interactions with them.💝
My ex was diagnosed after I left him. But he didn’t believe them. I had two kids with him and I wished I didn’t had to be connected to him. I’ve learned so much from these videos. It has helped me to find a new way to communicate with him regarding the kids. Before I learned this he would take everything personal and start raging on me even over the phone. But boundaries and basically talking to him in a neutral way but friendly helped a lot. There is hope if you are willing take the time to get educated on the subject. Thank you for sharing!!
Your having a fantastic impact Dr Phil. I’ve been watching you since those beautiful Oprah days! Thank you. Much love from Canberra Australia ❤️🇦🇺🌺⭐️😘
I've LOVE these narc educational videos. Thank you so much Dr. PHIL! We need to be able to spot these people and to deal with them in everyday life
Thank you, for this breakdown. Too bad there are such people in the world and we have to be on our guard. Evil.:(
So far this series has been the most exhaustive description of what I've dealt with. I was married to a classic narcissist for 14 yrs and am divorcing what I believe to be a covert narcissist. I'm trying desperately to learn how to identify and avoid them in the future. I'm crushed after this most recent break up and I never want to go through this again. Thank you so much!!
I hear ya.💝💝💝
My name is amber as well
I went through the exact same thing for 17 years
I left 3 days ago
I have left 4 times before
I see right through him
@@amwil4980 just keep swimming my friend, there is hope and a light at the end of the tunnel
Wow!! You are spot on Dr Phil! I became involved with a dark triad person when I was almost 22. I had lived a crazy life since I was 15 and I was ripe for the picking! The sadistic cruelty of him was insane. Just a little thing…he held me upside down with my face about an inch above a fire ant bed…and I stayed with him for years. I just turned 62 and I’m still in therapy, with a great psychiatrist.
I don’t dwell on these things, no contact and a greater understanding of what happened to me. He was and still is sick. Every single thing you said gave me goosebumps because it’s all true. I’ve healed so much but sometimes that file falls off the shelf in my brain and I use every tool in my head to make sure I’m okay. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. 🥰
Isn't it funny how the narcissist thinks they are so special and unique, but ALL narcissists behave the same way.
Exactly!!! I learned best from my ex husband
Yeah! Spot on.
Right
Because they are all characteristic of the enemy
Evil behaviour
Mental Illness is rampant in our society. At least they play out of the same playbook. Their behavior is predictable which give you an advantage, because you can see the next move. It's called the Cycle of Abuse. Please Google this and learn whatever you can. Knowledge is an Advantage.
I had to be honest, I never listen to your podcast before Dr Phil and I wanted to tell you I enjoy it so much this one that I am going to listen the rest. As a person that lived with a Narcissist for 24 years you nailed it. I read many books about it and I stay away since 2009. I am very happy in my life I have no contact. I advise people go no contact but never disclose your intentions they can be most dangerous when they feel abandoned. Stay safe and listen to Dr Phil
This man got a Hollywood star,many have done this type of videos…but dr.Phil is dr.Phil!!
What a lovely and generous man. I know Dr Phil is a success, but now i see he is a genuine heart, and the advice given is smart.
They keep your secrets and uses it against you every time. Been married 40 yrs.i think i could write a book about it.
I recognize this in many politicians and movie stars and a few friends/relatives
Help or protection I can recommend you to a powerful Dr who help me
☦️2349068923240⏯⏯💕💕???????????????????????????
Dr OSI can help on this
Politician 🤔
Lived with one for 8 years. A fraud and a destroyer. Cold reptiles. May God help him
OMG dr. Phil is absolutely correct and right on these toxic people. I am going through a lawsuit as we speak with my narcissist aunt. And everything that dr. Phil said was an is my aunt and I did not see any of this coming when I bought some property from her. Boy I wish this episode was here when I needed you dr. Phil my aunt is 100% what this video says.
We all can identify with these personalities. Thank you.
This information is saving lives.
Thank you so much: biggest take away: "there was nothing wrong with me," "I was never going to fix them."
Fantastic podcast Dr Phil! Your rare eloquence and the ease with which you engage with your audience to explain these concepts is utterly fascinating. I feel I am getting a top drawer university course on Narcissistic Personality Disorder from the world's top psychologist. These videos are pure gold - thank you!
And what valuable work you are doing, spreading the word about these dangerous individuals. Knowledge is power, and the more people can know about their M.O., the better their chance of recognising and surviving them.
In my experience the most dangerous category of narcissist by far is the Covert narc. Because they can be scarily skilled at hiding their toxic, ruthlessly self-serving narcissism behind a veneer of gentle, even vulnerable charm. Family annihilator Chris Watts springs to mind. A compulsive liar from childhood, over the years he learned to hide his ruthlessly self-serving nature behind the mask of a gentle, passive family man. He even had his wife of seven years fooled - Shanann didn't realise he was dangerous until he was strangling her to death. Friends who found out Watts had murdered his pregnant wife and two little girls were in total disbelief. One summed up their reactions, uttering the phrase: "He wouldn't hurt a fly!"
A few Covert narcs have got my guard down over the years, and hurt me badly. The Malignant narcs are vicious, but they're so overt you can spot them a mile away and take evasive action!
I know exactly what you mean. I live with a Covert Narcissist.. everyone is fooled by her.
Family and friends just love her because "she's so funny and nice"... Yeah, too their faces. Try living with this person. She tells everyone I said she is a narcissist and of course they do not see it because she fools them and even strangers!!
All the while I walk on eggshells..😔
There’s a great book about maternal narcissism called “Will I ever Be Good Enough?”…. It was really the first time I saw my evil mother had fooled me all my life.
Same here.It's shocking when the truth comes out. I'm not hurting anymore. Very disgusted and disappointed. Now its time to live life.
I feel you. It feels like everything was a lie
me too
@@yvettemoreel4237 yes, super super disgusting
June 27 2023. Dr. Phil I’m a mother 78 I have a son 60 who I feel like is a narcissist because he’s always browbeating me and telling me I’m wrong and everything I say he beats down I try to help him he’s had a hard life he’s made a lot of mistakes because It makes me feel guilty that I don’t try to be there for him. He got a staff infection and now he’s paralyzed from the waist down and it’s made things even harder. I’m the only one that will let him in and I’m exhausted I’m beginning to wear down myself and as a mom that’s what makes me feel so guilty ! But I want to just run away!!!!!!
Dr Phil, I've watched you, when I was available from work, for years. You are always spot on with your knowledge. I've dealt with a narcissistic you man since he was 14. Lived across street with his grandmother and I became a "mom" in his life, grandmother and I became, and still are, very close like sisters. His mother, living in another state, didn't and couldn't take care of him due to her drug problems. Father, who is son of the grandmother, passed away when this young man was 3 thus grandmother had guardenship of him. He's now 24 and still lives with her. I saw every trait of narcissism, which you describe, and there's no changing, only worse with age. He was diagnosed, by a professional, with this. I tried to help grandmother off and on through the years, I bought most of clothes, shoes etc. Helped with car repairs and such. He continued getting worse, lieing about me and grandmother to others, etc. He was using me as well as many others, on and on. They live out of state now, she and I are very close but I cut ties with him. Steals, lies and all the other things. One day he'll stand before God and give an account of his life. Hopefully this brief testimony will help others on this channel. Thank you Dr Phil for each of your informative shows. Blessings to you and Robin
I've been married to a malignant narcissistic for 37 years and Thank God you and others are helping people like me. It's only been 1 year since I've completely got away from him because I wanted to believe he wasn't a liar.
I'm empath 💯💯💯💯 and a narcissist magnet!! WAS A narcissist magnet😉
How did you stop being one ?!?
@@DelMal6 I'm 90% bedridden. I finally realized God had a hugh purpose for me..not allowing evilness. Paying attention to the red flags, that I always ignored.
I'm 47 yrs old, just this month I've grown sooo much and your worth it too 🙏🏽☮✝️🌻
Empaths do not exist in Psychology. You're a codependent. work on your bounderies and selflove, that's what gonna save you next time.
Going to court with them through a divorce and child custody is a nightmare. I lost so much because he controlled everything and i was so blindsided. So much great insight and the world needs to be aware of their profiles!
Love dr Phil started watching him a few months ago and has learned and this stuff has helped me realize so much in my personal life I love how dr Phil helps and changes peoples like even if your not sitting and talking with him but I can definitely say he’s helping just talking about this
Many thanks Dr Phil. Keep it up
Im so thankful that you made this knowledge available. All my life I've known my mother wasn't right but this literally "Phil's in the blanks" I couldn't see prior! And helps me move on with my life and happiness. Who doesn't want approval from their parents? In these cases you'll never be enough and you'll be constantly reminded of all your short comings ( as well as the ones they make up about you). Thank you Dr. Phil for helping me validate my feelings!
I can recommend you to a powerful Dr who help me
➕2349068923240⏭️⏯️
Dr OSI can help on this
So true my mom was one too! And I felt so alone as a child of a narcissist parent.
These are true and informative. I have been around Narcissistic Individuals most of my life and different types as well. The Trauma Bond must be broken in to heal. I have worked 8 years on myself and am toxicity free by the Grace of Christ Jesus! AMEN! For anyone struggling, please listen ro Dr. Phil because there's hope. God Bless all. Amen!
Yes! Yes! Yes! To keep my response short, because I could tell you so much more, I was with a man like you described as a narcissistic psychopath for almost 2 years. I didn't see the real danger of this man until he nearly killed me. Sometimes I would notice strange behavior from him. How did I not see the signs? I am a good person that lives my life with compassion and empathy. I can hardly believe that I even had a relationship with this person, very unlike anyone that I would normally have been drawn to or associated with. Approximately 2 years later I found out that he committed suicide. Thank you for the insight Dr. Phil.
he took his own life that's so sad and I am extremely sorry what he put you through
Thank you Jillian
He was either a narcissist/ a sociopath or a combination of the two.. Psychopaths never take their own lives (extremely much more dangerous)..
@@cynthiastanley35 your welcome and sorry i saw your comment late
@@jillianetuk5189 🙂No need to apologize. Have a blessed day.💓
Dr Phil is right on, I constantly listen to him. I know b/c i studied pschycology in medical school.
Wish I learned this before getting married and having children with one. They sure know how to annihilate those that stand up to them AND get away with it. Relentless, indeed. I learned it the hard way and will be sure that my children are educated on this when they are a little older. This needs to be taught in high school. Fewer lives would be ruined.
Mass genocide of all narcs
FBI has some class for this
I think he most definitely authentic!! I am glad he has made videos of different types of personalities. It helps so many people get info and make a change. Thank you Dr. Phil
I really hope you’re going to discuss sociopathy & psychopathy as well. I love this series thus far!!
Psychopathy is really something else that is outside human experience (even on a spirituality level - born this way , and incurable ever -).. very few people and psychologists truly understand it.. Dr. Phil does.. I am not sure he is expert on it though.. Let's hope!!!
A normal psychopath is WAAAYY much more dangerous than a mass murderer narcissist or a sociopath.. They erode the light bearers of society, and destroy its morals from within...
Narcissists and Sociopaths still have conscience, even if it is a very skewed one.. Psychopaths operate outside the human experience totally..
I'd love to discuss sociopathy, psychopathy, and coercive control.
Our CEOs were phenomenal and specific managers were on this level 100%!
So glad to hear you talking about this Dr. Phil! It's about time! THIS SHOULD BE TAUGHT IN ALL THE NEW SCHOOLS!! That is the kind of school I could actually teach in.
Thank you Dr P! These 3 parts have literally help me so much! I am living with family after a divorce and have a Malignant Narc parent. Self doubt and self-esteem issues have been causing a ton of problems and I couldn’t put a finger on it. I finally now have some information to build some cognitive tools. I really appreciate it things like this. Make the Internet life-changing
Dr Phil, my whole family are narcs, I have cPTSD because of it. High boundaries now. I cotton on to narcs petty fast. One lady in my neighbourhood had my head spinning, she's a do gooder but very self absorbed and grandiose. I realize she's a communial narcissist. If I tell her I am ill she never asks how I am, she sucks the air out of the room, cannot stand her. So boundaries are going up with her as well. I am getting great treatment for my cPTSD and feeling much better.
My prayers are with you I'm so sorry you have to go through this
“Sucks the air out of the room” yes! Perfect way to describe my mother-in-law!!
Thank you Dr Phil, it's super kind of you to do this series. I didn't have a good radar for toxic personalities, and this helps so much. Letting it go is not the same as forgiving - forgiveness is a gift from the victim to the contrite perpetrator who asks for forgiveness. Forgiveness entails a restoration of the relationship. So victims don't have to forgive those who don't regret or feel any remorse. Their crimes and sins are not forgiven until they feel genuine contrition in their heart. Letting go and living life without the pain of abuse is what recovery looks like for victims of the dark triads.
I'm so glad more and more awareness is coming to these personality types! It's very validating to hear when you've had experiences with these people, cause run-ins with them were definitely INvalidating. I love hearing Dr Phil talk about most anything = ) DoctorRamani has an excellent channel dedicated to this topic. I've learned so much there too! She really breaks it down.
She is quite amazing, isn't she. Dr. Ramani is definitely one of the go to's on this matter. You can tell she has dealt with a few of them during her lifetime.
Yes, Dr. Romani knows what she is talking about.
Keep it coming
She is awesome too!
Yes ,I've hears Dr Ranni aswel ..yes She has helped me too..and yes she breaks it down gets into how and why..I need to know why ...Dr Phil is anotherckevel though..excellent..Thank my God
All true. Thank you. The more I understand the situation the better I am able to accept.
are you taking questions
This is the best series I’ve watched phil, thank you so much. 🦋💖
Thank you Dr. Phil! 💜
My ex Narc told me he was the devil. And I still believe it. The horrific words and things he did when gaslighting me, I've been without this abuse for 3 months. I'm healing myself through videos. It's going to take time. Plus he still gets to hoover me. I face the fact, he could just appear anywhere that I may be. It makes me sick to my stomach , when I think of seeing. Thanks Dr. Phil
Yes same like the ex Narc i was with, almost died from the physical abuse!! And his eyes changed completely BLACK and the evil energy that emanated from him !!! Wanted to throw up!! Had to look somewhere else to break the stare!!
I know how you feel with the stomach sickness!!!
@@PatriciaDeBride omg his eyes would turn black, I mean that's like someone who's possessed,that's out of the ordinary! I'm so sorry for you,may God protect you!
@Annie B thank you, but thank GOD im free now 1year now!!!😁
Hi there, hope you are doing better. Did you get ride of him or is he still harassing you? Do you have any suggestion how to stop your ex from coming into your life?
Thank you if you will reply to me🌺.
Dr. Phil...Thank you SO much for putting this info out there. I just now realized how dangerous this Narcisssist is, and how blocking him and going no contact might even save my life!!!!
These segments are more helpful that the show. Thanks Dr Phil
I agree! I think it’s because it’s focused teaching without all the drama. So glad he’s doing this powerful podcast!
This should be taught worldwide 👍
This Is my mother. I’ve known this for the past few years but it just sucks. I tried so hard to change her and have her have some insight into her situation and it was just futile. She thinks she is perfect and nothing is wrong. It’s always my fault.I was so frustrated for 25 years of my life living with her. I finally moved from New York to California to get away and finally start my life. It has gotten significantly better in such a short amount of time after I left that environment.
You can still help her
Narcissist comment above. Run. Don't walk!
@@lanemoorebill4549 No you can’t. Clearly the poster tried to “help” the so called “mother” ( more like monster) and finally understood: If your presence isn’t helping, your absence won’t hurt.
And there’s plenty of mommy-dearests who are just. simply. EVIL.
@@lanemoorebill4549 only Jesus can intervene!!
This fits my ex mother in law to a t. I stood up to her trying to control the way we was running the house. Boy oh boy she went on a smear tactic to everyone that I had relationship with. That I was a horrible person and my wife and step son should leave me. And she accomplish it! These people are good at what they do!
Thank you . This series is helping me climb out of a very deep pit of hopelessness.
Our family has been forever changed by a narcissist. Our daughter has not had a relationship with anyone in her family for several years because of her now husband. It all started when they were dating and progressed pretty quickly. She is isolated, even works at home, no longer goes to church, and has no friend community. We do talk on the phone and text as of a couple years ago, thankfully. She said her husband encouraged it, which doesn't surprise me after hearing your series. At least I can hear her voice and know that she is doing ok. After listening, I don't see how we are going to get past this and actually have a relationship. He has a tight grip. Heartbreaking.
At least you’re seeing it and you care
I lived with a malignant narcissist for over 7 years. He almost destroyed me. Thankfully I escaped 2 years ago. I still have some ptsd, but my anxiety levels are getting much better. I’m able to sleep again which I couldn’t do for 2 years before I left him. He’s very sick and sadistic,
Pure evil. I never knew pure evil existed like this. Calculating, manipulating & the need or drive to make the victims seem mentally unstable. I’ve learned the best way to deal with it is to just not talk about it. It’s better that way. 2 people know the truth. Me & them. No one else’s approval is needed for me.
I have several family members that are narcissists and this information in knowing how to deal with them has been extremely helpful, I can’t thank you enough.
Perfect timing - I find my “friend” is becoming more and more toxic towards me. Suddenly, things make so much more sense. It is NOT just all MY fault. What a relief !
Can i kindly ask in which ways you feel/ recognize it ?
@@cannabclaus8036 My friend has started making hurtful comments towards me, more often than a few months prior. When I tell her that I feel hurt, she shrugs it off and tells me either that I mis-understood, that she did not say what I told her she said, or that I’m just too sensitive. Never did she apologise. I also noticed that whenever she contacts me nowadays, it turns out she needed something from me, e.g. looking after her cat while she is vacationing with other friends. She has never invited me to join her and her crowd for a holiday. Furthermore, when we meet, she tends to go on and on with telling me about all the exciting stuff she did, and how great a time she had. And when I attempt to tell her about what I did, she often interrupts me and changes the subject back to her interests, or it is obvious that she does not pay attention to me (she is much more attentive to her phone than to me). When telling her that I think she did not listen to what I’ve just said, she replies that the topic does not interest her, or that she feels tired (because of her oh so busy days). And on the rare occasion we do discuss a topic, and she has a different opinion than I, she belittles me personally with hurtful comments, rather than trying to see things from my point of view and accept that we disagree. - I have finally decided to distance myself from her.
None of it was your fault. You didn't make this person into the person that they are. And I'm pretty sure if they weren't like that, you wouldn't have done the things you did. You didn't do anything wrong trust me.
@@timewoundsallheels4ever distant yourself from her you need to cut her off completely she is abusing you and it will become even worse than what you described. How do I know I did the same thing and I had to reflect on my past what made me accept this type of behavior
I.m. married to q mi@lihant. Narcissistic with all. The charist*
Icd you are talki inh g6 about
How. Do I get a×ay form him????
This is why it is so important for parents, teachers, and law enforcement to work together to monitor those children /teens that are on a dangerous trajectory.
I am learning to look in the eyes and mouth after they have asked a question as they are very good at fooling other people into thinking what great people they are- they are truly terrifying people
My daughter is one.
For years and years I tortured myself thinking I must be to blame.
It’s affected my life till I became ill.
I wish we I had discovered this decades ago! Raised in a very dsfuntional family of origin with a raging, domineering mother, married a sociopath who made my life a nightmare and when I finally divorced him he attempted to have me abducted and as the cops told me, if the attempt was successful, they would have found my body in a ditch. My younger sister is a malignant narcissist that for decades put me through the love bombing/raging episodes and then disappear for years only to reappear and do the syndrome over and over. I have finally gone the no contact path and it is like letting go of a hot iron. Thank you for helping me and countless others who struggle with these predators!
Just amazing, I’ve been listening to a Dr.Ramini, randomly when I heard her talking about narcissistic personalities and I recognised right away that’s what I was dealing with. I luckily chose to click on your video breaking things down even more, A lot of your points are really hitting home, I’m looking forward to your continuing sessions.
I had a consultant that I hired that was like this. They went from helping me with my business to trying to tell me how to live my life. There is definately traits on this running very strong in this individual. The ironic thing is this was soneone who used to "help" me. When it started getting personal is when it changed and went to toxic behavior . I called them out and now they hate me for it. I am doing better and very aware of this now. I stay away .
U were lucky ...because that narcissist ...could have taken over your business and ground it down ....the best thing to do is run ..u have to go no contact ..make sure u documented everything because they can hoover u back in thru friends and aquaintences .....they dont care about u ...they are so predatory ... and u are nothing but a fuel source to be exploited .for their agenda till they have used u up and then they are onto the next victim and u are disguarded
@@maryleung1425 Yes, I am very aware. They are completely gone from my life . I told them to leave and we have had no contact,
@@kathleentoomey4640 im glad that you had the presence of mind to do this ...u did the tight thing ....unfortunately.....these type of people specialize in targeting decent folks ...and take advantage of their goodness ...they know full well what they were doing ...and my friend said ...dont gossip and wanted to give this person the benefit of the doubt ...and i told her be careful ..but it went south ...and she still forgave this person for causing problems in her marriage ..i tried to say dont get too close ..but it hurt my friend deeply .. i dont know what else to say ...but i tried .. to warn her .
@@maryleung1425 So sorry to hear this. I can say that I have had a very strict upbringing and my core values helped me with this person. They tried to charm me and it didn't pass my moral compass. They do a lot of emotional damage. I am sorry for your friend.
@@kathleentoomey4640 i know what u are talking about.... my friend was a churchgoer .... and she was also blind and so was her husband ...but she would say dont listen to gossip and would give the person the benefit of the doubt .... which are all admirable qualities ..,.. the thing was this person was new to her church ....meaning a new audience for her tale victimhood....got lots of empathy and did their best to welcome her in .... but i got this sinking feeling .. that instinctive feelings on edge that something is really wrong ....i said to my friend that i dont trust her ...but my friend was doing the right christian thing ... im saying be careful ... and then there was an incident ....my friend told me what happened in her prayer group ... i was furious .... because my friend was blind and so was her husband ...and this woman interferred with her blind husband physically .in the middle of prayer group ...and the husband thought it was his wife who was doing the deed ...cause he couldnt see and my friend couldnt see ....this new .person gave the excuse ...said ....the devil made me do it ...,im like ..what the frick .... this woman should have been charged .....she knew better ...this woman took advantage and abused the disabled husband ...while the blind lady who befriended her and was helping her . ...never in my whole life i had ever seen an incident like this ....my friend forgave her .because she wanted to do the right thing ....so the new person moved on ....then a couple of months later i was attending a social function at this other church ...and i met the same woman again that caused all this trouble .....and guess what ...she was at this new church ...and the new church was trying to do the right thing by helping her .....and this woman saw me ... and i saw her .... i felt so morally ill and disgusted ......this person was from church to church ..i know there are people who legit need a helping up ,...but this took it to a whole different level ...