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if we believe in the institute of marriage and women both 3 and 10 alike age bad and faster how does a man settle for that forever if hes also very successful conscientious and loves the woman? I know he's supposed to be loyal and just suck it up. id like your perspective on this please
It would be interesting for a guy to have a virtual reality experience as an attractive woman with how other women treat them... its vindictive as hell out here
I think character development can be stunted by being extremely beautiful. When someone constantly leverages their beauty to get they want it can lead to some serious character flaws. It's a form of power, and power can corrupt. Similarly if someone is born extremely rich and they don't have to work hard to be wealthy it can have a detrimental impact on holistic development.
It can also be accelerated, there's a notable correlation in being better looking and being smarter. Its hypothesised that the brain develops more for people that look better because they have better experiences with people and thus has more chance to develop.
I remember in middle school I witnessed many attractive and bright young girls literally cease developing mentally, and even regress, at the exact moment they received male attention.
This is one reason muslim women wear hijab. Muslim ppl believe it is protection for society/woman. As they cover their beauty it makes it more important for them to develop their personality, morals and intellect, to be defined by. This makes them pleasant to talk to and hold real conversations around shared values, beliefs and long-term life goals that are also deep and transcend in nature. It prevents ppl getting arrogant and getting a superiority complex based on superficial trates. Keeps ppl down to earth, modesty. Trys to prevent self entitlement and Princess complex. It trys to prevent the commercialisation/weaponising of "beauty", by it not being a publicly displayed and traded commodity/currency. Trys to give women a break from having to compete with each other on just beauty, in open public. That can cause feelings of jealousy. Helps to try to prevent an army of simps and street pestering. As her beauty is for HER and the special people SHE chooses in her life. Helps to try to prevent insecurities trying to maintain unrealistic and unsustainable beauty standards, that are forever changing and expensive to uphold. This can cause mental issues in people and the sense of constant judgement and body shaming from people that don't know you or care about your long-term good. Peace
i half agree with what you said @ 2:00 I think thats part of it, but the core reason is that it has more to do with their hypergamy & not wanting to date down in looks or finances. add to that, because her ego is out of control from men constantly hitting on her & validating her, she thinks her sexual market value is higher than it actually is, so she's more likely to turn down men that may actually be on her level, but because she gets so much attention from low value men & simps, she thinks she's better than the 7-out-of-10 guy who introduces himself. so she turns him down. she'd rather wait around for the 10 guy who is a rich, famous pro athlete... but she's only a 7 herself. she won't approach the 10 guy though. she'll wait around & think that she's so hot that the 10 guy should approach her & then he never does because he has TONS of options. the the mildly hot 7 out of 10 girl ends up growing old, childless & partnerless because her ego won't allow her to "settle" she's either waiting for the 10 guy to approach her which never happens, or she gets ran through by guys who are 10's that will never commit because they have tons of options & don't need to commit... this is how most women operate. most guys figure this out by their early 30's & start adapting to women's dating strategy by copying what the 10 guys do. simply sleeping around, offering the bare minimum & not committing, just like the 10 guys.
This is one reason muslim women wear hijab. Muslim ppl believe it is protection for society/woman. As they cover their beauty it makes it more important for them to develop their personality, morals and intellect, to be defined by. This makes them pleasant to talk to and hold real conversations around shared values, beliefs and long-term life goals that are also deep and transcend in nature. It prevents ppl getting arrogant and getting a superiority complex based on superficial trates. Keeps ppl down to earth, modesty. Trys to prevent self entitlement and Princess complex. It trys to prevent the commercialisation/weaponising of "beauty", by it not being a publicly displayed and traded commodity/currency. Trys to give women a break from having to compete with each other on just beauty, in open public. That can cause feelings of jealousy. Helps to try to prevent an army of simps and street pestering. As her beauty is for HER and the special people SHE chooses in her life. Helps to try to prevent insecurities trying to maintain unrealistic and unsustainable beauty standards, that are forever changing and expensive to uphold. This can cause mental issues in people and the sense of constant judgement and body shaming from people that don't know you or care about your long-term good. Peace
Sure but it's not like they choose that or they are even aware of those things at the time. This is why culture is so important and the promotion of good valuees is so important for thses people whom are edge cases.
Im 6'6", tall, very good looking, male 25 y.o., have been told im smart (but plenty of dumb people think theyre smart so doesnt mean much to say it) Guys would kill to be me. Also i have epilepsy, kidney disease, panic disorder, treatment resistant depression, dissociative disorders. Good looks are a huge advantage in life but they arent everything. Being tall and attractive makes people look at me or more likely to talk to me. Freaks me out. Wish i was invisible.
This is my wife’s sister. She is human garbage. Because she’s “hot”. Idk how many times she’s screwed us over. Ruined friendships of mine, that I had to rebuild and lost a few. Because she is human garbage. But guess what, time is not doing her any favors. It pretty comical.
In my younger crazier days, I dated quite a lot. I found that the more-beautiful women that I dated were simply less interesting. It seemed that - because they didn't have to 'earn' the attention that they received - their intelligence, character, and empathy suffered. After a few flings with stunning women, I was bored. I'm always more interested in a smart, funny, women who are down to earth.
I had the same experience with men. I dated an extremely hot guy for not very long - only until I realised how vapid he was. My girlfriends told me how unbelievably lucky I was, I couldn’t get rid of him fast enough! It was exhausting coming up with things to talk about! Give me a less attractive but witty, funny, intelligent guy any day instead of air-head Adonises like him!
Very similar experience here. The most beautiful women I dated were consistently the least interesting and most toxic. The good news is you only need to choose a woman SLIGHTLY outside of that top range to find a much more healthy range of interests, attributes, and abilities.
to a degree for sure.... but more importantly if what you invest that time & effort into dose not give back in some way then you don't tend to fall for it... unless you have a gambling problem...
> Men fall in love with where they invest their time and effort You forgot about ROI. I love when my time and effort is mutually beneficial, as well as when someone's time and effort serves the same purpose.
Hot girls that are balanced are usually from really good families and have good relationships with the men in their family. Which by itself is already tough
or they used to be ugly. (ugly duckling) i've seen girls that grew up fat & become hot & because their brain developed in their formative years when they were fat/ugly, their brain still operates like an ugly chick. so she still has humility, empathy etc. women who start out hot tend to fall into narcissism.
This. It's true and they do exist but you won't find them with a big Social Media presence, that's why it feels like they just don't exist anymore. I know a few absolute bombshells, better than anything you'll find on Social Media and the one thing they have in common is a Healthy mostly traditional family that raised them right. It's rare but they do exist, and if you ever win one of them over, you commit hard.
Women who think they're beautiful from birth are usually crazy when they reach adulthood. But women who are decent-looking and then get a glow-up when they get older are usually more "normal" and humble.
I went out with a model a few times but though I tried to like her, she was just boring. After three dates or so, I stopped calling and she reached out confused. I didn’t have the heart to say, though I gave her more effort than other women, I couldn’t see a relationship.
@@educortazarc interesting she can't hold a conversation nor a connection. It's like the looks attract the guy once he there it's like something lacking.
So as someone who has lost count of my girlfriends/sexual encounters with girls and in my mid 30s I will tell you right now, 9 out 10 times this is a Yes. This is to the point where when guys I grew up with from 2 different High Schools in two different States I grew up in get married and start their families, the girls they marry are maybe 5s on a good day when they used to date 8s, 9s and even 10s. It's because eventually even if your experienced, you approach things the right way, the crazy ones will hurt you, and often the crazy ones are the super hot ones. All that said, that doesn't mean every hot girl has loose marbles, I know a few that are knock out gorgeous, like super model status even more than what you see on all your Social Media. And they are still humble, and in control and are known for being genuinely good people even by ex-boyfriends. The one common denominator with those sane hotties, they grew in a really good well balanced mostly traditional families. You can @ me all you and get upset about it, I'm just stating factual life experience. They had a great home life, were instilled with good life lessons at a young age, took care of themselves and just happened to be genetically really attractive. If anyone has seen the Crazy Hot Scale Video with the dude who draws the chart, even though it's meant to be funny and pretty meme like, it's... pretty accurate. Look it up on youtube if you haven't seen it.
This is one reason muslim women wear hijab. Muslim ppl believe it is protection for society/woman. As they cover their beauty it makes it more important for them to develop their personality, morals and intellect, to be defined by. This makes them pleasant to talk to and hold real conversations around shared values, beliefs and long-term life goals that are also deep and transcend in nature. It prevents ppl getting arrogant and getting a superiority complex based on superficial trates. Keeps ppl down to earth, modesty. Trys to prevent self entitlement and Princess complex. It trys to prevent the commercialisation/weaponising of "beauty", by it not being a publicly displayed and traded commodity/currency. Trys to give women a break from having to compete with each other on just beauty, in open public. That can cause feelings of jealousy. Helps to try to prevent an army of simps and street pestering. As her beauty is for HER and the special people SHE chooses in her life. Helps to try to prevent insecurities trying to maintain unrealistic and unsustainable beauty standards, that are forever changing and expensive to uphold. This can cause mental issues in people and the sense of constant judgement and body shaming from people that don't know you or care about your long-term good. Peace
I think "hot girl" needs to be defined better. Because in my experience just interacting with other women, the ones who put in a lot of effort to their looks (spend 2 hours in front of the mirror or something) tend to be meaner and have an overinflated sense of self. Whereas someone who is absolutely gorgeous but maybe doesn't wear the nicest clothes or put effort in to their looks would be more level headed or well rounded. How many people are attributing looks to someone because of how they act rather than objective beauty you know? I've always been confused at how men evaluate looks lol. Seems like women get the rating of 10 for arbitrary not looks related reasons
It does appear that average looking women can signal as hot with hair, makeup, fillers and a certain attitude. I wonder if women see through this better than men do. It particularly bewilders me because I am so far removed from that sort of scene, I don't know anyone like that in real life.
When trying to figure out why some women are crazy, we can't ignore the effect of their relationship with their father - growing up believing you actually are a princess has to do a number on your mind.
Yes. Asian girlfriend from a rich father. He paid for everything but was and is emotionally cold. Verbally abusive, and all in all kind of a dick. But that fucked up her idea of what a man should be.
Totally agree. Don’t get me wrong to any only-children (no siblings) out there, but I usually notice only-child people also suffer from “princess” syndrome, both men and women. Never having to share or think about the sibling next to you, look after the person younger than you etc. The same can be said for the youngest in households with multiple siblings. They often get the baby / princess treatment from parents and elder siblings which can end up creating narcissistic tendencies or outlooks. Not saying all are like this but yes it’s usually a result of the parenting IMO
As a guy who has dated across the attractiveness spectrum (insanely hot to ho-hum average)…no, there is no positive correlation with mental instability and beauty. However, I did see a positive correlation with poor behavior and beauty. I think that has to do with beauty allowing those women to behave poorly. People give them a free pass based on their physical attractiveness which allows them to act out in ways that a less attractive women wouldn't dare try.
@@socialnetworking4782 quite the jump to conclusion. You can be very entitled, self-centered and arogant, which makes for a very shitty character, but not unstable.
@@socialnetworking4782 yes and no. Poor behavior could be indicative of some underlying condition. Though, I have kids and I know when other parents don't discipline or guide their children because I can watch them acting out in public in bad ways without parental action. But in this case, we are talking about a correlative relationship between beauty and mental instability. There are plenty of attractive women who are very sound in mind.
Being attractive carries with it the projection everyone puts on to you. It's easy to disappoint others or for others to get a false sense of who you are. People see what they want to see.
The investing in your woman thing is 100% true. When it eneded i felt loss, loss at the wasted time and effort. Far more than i can ever mourn the loss of her as a person. That is not to say i didn't love her, but after someone puts you through pain and makes you angry, all thats left is the thought "If only i had invested in someone or something else"
There’s plenty of women that aren’t very attractive that are extremely crazy imo. I don’t think looks apply at all imo. It’s the narcissistic women that are also very insecure that are the ones to watch out for in my experience.
Hot girls (legit unique quality level of visual attractiveness) and celebrities all have the same problem: receiving insane level attention everywhere you go out in public. Not just attention, but everyone also wanting something from you.
Now, assume she's pretty, and also has an "attention seeking syndrome", because she never had a healthy daughter father relationship 🤔Not only does she get the attention, but also likes to attract all kind of guys (the crazy ones as well).
The world of a beautiful woman is very different than the average person. It's normal for strangers to want to help you, people usually greet you with a smile, doors get opened for you. The tough part is that the woman wouldn't know this is not normal until the looks fade away. My advice to beautiful women is to work on their character, build a family and meaningful connections so when looks do fade their identity doesn't get lost and they can still find purpose with a meaningful life.
Very similar to men who have money. The smart ones get tired of the attention & attraction and seek to attract women who love them for their intrinsic qualities. (money can be lost and there's always someone with more money)
@@vince1012 Good point. From my perspective, a gentleman with money usually brings another / bigger challenge, which is to be able to discern the type of woman that falls in love with him for who he is vs the "lifestyle" that he's able to offer. This is tricky because to be honest, the woman might not even realize that she's in love with the lifestyle and the man's ego can blind side him. If you are a man with money, especially if you work hard to make that money, usually your time is a scarce resource because you are using it to make money vs spending that time with your special one to build that connection. Consider this as you go into a relationship knowing that she might not realize that she might be in love with what you got to offer vs who you are.
Not sure how we're defining "hot" vs beautiful/attractive/pretty, but the experience of seeing some of the worst behavior in men and competitive nature in women, people actively looking for your flaws or assuming you're a snob or unintelligent etc due to you being on the more attractive side, she is spot on.
From male perspective 'hot' is female sexual energy without purity element, which almost gains some predatory aspect. To be 'beautiful' as a woman you have to also have that pure almost naive element. The first aspect enables short term mating strategies in us and the second aspect enables long term ones.
For men, "hot" is more synonymous with I need to mate with you type of thought to keep this conversation light-hearted. Beautiful or Pretty type comments fall into more of something akin to like classical feminine traits. There may not be an urge to immediately "breed" them, but you are still attracted to them. It's subjective right and based on the individual but another way to put it would be.. if a girl is hot to you it's more a lustful feeling and about sex. If shes Beautiful or Pretty it tends to fall more into the I want a life with you and to love you. It's kinda hard to describe but hope that helps. For a lot of guys now it's not so much we think really hot girls are stupid that's sort of an old stereo type that lives on from the 90s and early 2000s.. IMHO now it's more if shes a 8-10 beware, you could get your heart caved in. A lot of that has to do with the rise of Social Media, because if your dating a 8-10 and shes on all types of Media chances are shes probably got 5-10 guys trying DM her each Month, and the low side of things. Food for thought.
"hot" is elite shape with great genetics usually an athlete mode frame with low body fat. Beautiful is no makeup natural with great genetics. Attractive and being pretty is created and faked with makeup and filters.
@@rcmunro22 for me its kind of weird seeing how other men define these.... never thought there would be such differences. for myself Hot dose indeed bring about instinctive urge but someone could be hot & beautiful at the same time... i mean beauty as "very pleasing to look at separate from sexual desire" i think would be close to my personal definition of beautiful & i like it that way as it makes sense that i can use it exactly the same for a woman or a piece of art. Hot being she's extremely sexually attractive is a good basic definition of hot, but for me she would need to have certain things that would also make me consider her beautiful.... but i suppose if you only look at the definitions in terms that jocks use the comment above yours would seem to fit more soundly. thanks for the comment its been a interesting short term thought experiment to think on how i feel about the definitions & how/if it was possible to describe them.
@@blackdeath4eternity Yeah for sure, like I said it's subjective and based on the individual right. I have found personally and with my friend groups all over (I moved around a lot and made a lot friends in different States so I kinda have a lot irl experience/data on this) at least my era of guys who are in their 30s now.. typically Hot means I want to have sex with that person. If you see a girl and your like oh wow shes beautiful your still attracted to her in a similar way but your first thought isn't Sex it's more like I need to get to know her and be a part of her life. But to each their own for sure, it's good to share with people to gain understanding of perspectives.
Super interesting topic. Chris hit the nail on the head about models counter-signalling by dressing down and actively trying to look as plain as possible. I spent years in that industry and noticed that too. No make up, hair in a pony tail and a baggy shirt with sweat pants. Seems strange but I think it's a push back against people telling you that your looks are your value. There's so much pressure on them to be perfect that when they aren't on set they have no energy or desire left for caring how they look and instead want to be seen for who they are.
I complimented a woman at work (in a community where looks/appearance is core to the individuals present) for having the courage to step in and argue on someone else's behalf. She was very intentional in thanking me for recognising her for that - and it was clear from how she said it that she was so pleased to be recognised for something other than her looks.
@@michaelrobinson9643as a pretty woman thanks, yes, doesn’t matter what a pretty woman has, only matters that she is pretty. I cultivated my intelligence and people never see it, cause it only matters that I’m pretty and I stay pretty. Don’t you dare, as a pretty woman, to stop being pretty. And then ageism comes and now doesn’t matter that I was pretty, or that I am smart, I’m just old now. You can never win
@@PossibleBat Refreshing to hear someone address agism and the bullying that comes with it and how it's becoming stronger again. It affects everyone though, and goes far beyond looks, and it's a very toxic mindset society needs to distance itself from again.
The thing is none of these two people fully understands the reality of average grey men and women. It's a 'wisdom' a very narrow range of people can apply. For the rest, everything is slightly more twisted and complicated.
I disagree with the end. I was always very invested in my girlfriends and they changed their behaviour after they started to earn much more or had a better status than before. Anyways, I'm happy they did and that I have showed them my line, walked away, grew as a person and walked into my actual awesome relationship. You have what you tolerate!
It's similar to how a celebrity experiences life. They can be surrounded by people that always agree with them, laugh at things they say that aren't funny, give them things, give them special privileges/access, etc.
People who stand out from a crowd due to their looks are much more often harrased by predators, accused of things they didn't do (like intentionally seduce someone, breaking up families, and such... when they just wanted to be friendly, smiled at someone and said a few kind words to a person who was horny and looking for an excuse to leave their partner anyway), shamed and ostracised for things they are not, when other people already made assumptions about them (like being told they are premiscuous, stupid or shallow, even when there's zero evidence to back up that claim), they have to constantly deal with people's projections and vicious attacks, they are often treated instrumetally and backstabbed by people close to them, in many cases their boundaries are not respected and their voice is dismissed when they try to speak up for themselves... It's understandable that people who get that kind of treatment for a long time, become hypervigilant and develop trust issues that are incomprehensible to those who didn't have such experiences, and then they get called out by people living more stable and risk-free lives, like they are "crazy" for not being "normal", calm and trusting around strangers, as if being risk-aware is a mental illness and remembering their own crappy past experiences is being petty, unforgiving and irrational. If everyone treated others with the same respect, no matter their looks, this issue wouldn't exist.
It's not that hot girls are crazier, is that they are allowed to operate in society in which no one sets or enforces boundaries on them BECAUSE they're hot. They then think that this is how things work and when they come up against someone who doesn't care much foer their attractiveness with their "hot girl shenanigans" and they are shocked. They continue to do this to other people which in turn builds their reputation of being "crazy" imo
In my time in the pickup community, I talked to thousands of women in all kinds of places. In my observation, the most attractive women were the nicest, sweetest, friendliest, with only one exception. While the less attractive ones could be really aggressive and unfriendly.
Yes it seems to me that hot girls are well-socialised. They've had more conversations, more friendships, more romantic relationships. They have more baggage but more useful experience also.
They're both so well versed in what they do and so articulate, love this podcast. Thanks and congrats on everything Chris, all the success you have is so earnt.
Meh, if the perks weren't worth it they'd do things to appear less attractive, wouldn't they? Instead of posting complaints about their lost privileges when their beauty fades as they age, they'd praise the perks of getting older.
Excellent conversation. So nice to hear people unapologetically speak about gender differences. It is the experience the most people live and it is relevant to talk about.
Sadia is so lovely. She is one of (if not the only) woman talking about men's issues on the internet who really gets it. Whenever I see women on TH-cam talking about men, they're always way way off. They're over simplifying everything and reducing men to lowly horny cavemen. Women in general have no idea what men really want, and they seem completely incapable of empathizing with the male experience. Sadia is so graceful and knowledgeable about both men and women.
Like Chris, she's one of the few taking a balanced, rounded view that encompasses both male and female issues. Rather too many women who now advocate for men are just opportunistically stroking male grievances for their own gain (i.e. to increase their web traffic and revenue) and in that sense they are little different to grifters like Andrew Tate.
"Understanding the Psychology of Hot and Successful Individuals" Summary: This TH-cam video delves into the unique psychological experiences of hot and successful individuals, shedding light on the challenges they face in their personal and social lives. The discussion focuses on hot women, their perceptions of men, and how their attractiveness can affect their interactions with both men and women. Additionally, the video touches on the challenges successful men and women encounter in forming stable relationships. Key Points and Takeaways: 1. Attractive women often encounter men who are either overly intimidated by their beauty or overly lustful, leading to skewed perceptions of men's behavior. 2. Hot women may see men as risk-takers who are willing to break commitments for the chance to be with them, causing them to become suspicious of their partners. 3. The psychology of attractive women is different from that of less attractive women, making them more intense and less naive about relationships. 4. Women are often viewed as threats by other women, leading to a competitive dynamic among them, especially when attractive women are present. 5. Men tend to see attractive women as potential short-term mates, affecting the dynamics of their interactions. 6. The transition for hot women as they age can be challenging, as they may have built their identity around their looks, making them more fragile. 7. Successful men can struggle with relationships if they have low self-esteem, but high self-esteem and good boundaries can lead to healthy relationships. 8. Successful women often face difficulties, as men may feel emasculated when their female partner earns more, impacting their relationship dynamics. 9. Men may invest less emotionally and financially when dating a woman who earns more, making it easier for them to walk away from the relationship This video provides valuable insights into the complexities of attraction, success, and relationships, highlighting how these factors can shape an individual's psychological experiences.
The key is to be aware of your arousal and treat highly attractive women like you just want to be friends and not try to impress her in any way or convince her that you're worthy of being dated by her. The 10/10 girl is annoyed that everyone is just interested in her apperance and will value a deeper conversation and your ability to regulate affection.
I wouldn't treat her like "I just wanted to be friends". I make my intentions clear (choice of style) during interactions with funny jokes and stuff but (!) I'd say treat her like you'd treat any other woman. Evaluate whether or not she is a good fit based on her personality and disregard her looks. That's all that matters.
I've had beautiful friends. They do attract assholes. If she has brothers and a good father, she won't be crazy, but it can still take her a long time to find a guy who is brave enough to approach her but isn't a jerk.
I was a very hot young woman. Until about 30. Told I should be a model. I'm now semi-attractive, but a mostly invisible 41 year old. It comes to an end!
The key is to treat good looking women exactly the same as every other women. Even treat their friends who aren’t as attractive well. The key is confidence and it make her understand she is just as relevant as everyone else.
This will be very personal, since I never open up about this subject in my life -but I felt almost compelled to while listening to this, and sorry in advance for pouring my heart out here. This was a hard watch for me. I will never forget how much of a shock it was for me once the pretty privilege discussion went viral because, during my entire life experience, I have never felt something being more inaccurate. I always fear talking about this, because I knew I will get slammed for saying that beauty is more of a curse than a blessing. I just have to let it out. Wherever I have showed up, women have hated me from the first day. I have been bullied, gotten my hair cut off, laughed at, mocked and repeatedly gotten a ruined reputation within the first week of changing schools/university. I have never had a real female friend or one that has not secretly plotted behind my back and backstabbed me, and my male friends were all looking for just one thing which I realise way too late after investing my time and heart in these friendships, in the hopes to find a genuine human connection. Perhaps this blinded me as well. The scary lengths a bruised ego can go to in order to ruin your name, I wish upon no one. Life of beautiful women is incredibly lonely. I study psychology to try to find answers to unconventional topics that maybe few pay attention to. Just yesterday, I was analysing exactly this theme after some recent events that have taken place in my life regarding it. So, this video is very well welcomed. I want to add, in regards to the purposely “glammed down” models, that I have always loved elegant dressing styles which I also practice. Maybe that’s a mistake and makes people hate me more - I can see why pretty women would hide behind these clothes in hopes to become invisible. I could consider this. Every interaction I have had with other females since I entered puberty (I am almost 21 now) they have been competitive, rude, sarcastic and constantly trying to undermine me even though I’m agreeable, gentle and kind to them. Until this day I try to help them, try to compliment them and really get to know them in hopes they stop seeing me as a “mean girl” and that I will eventually find someone. They always act as if I have thrown shade at them or as if there is an underlying message or motivation in everything I say or do, leaving me to wonder again that I am the one something is wrong with. When it comes to dating, I have never engaged in it and not had a relationship in fear of getting hurt and completely isolated myself. I am so exhausted. I have never said anything back to the women in fear of being seen as arrogant and in that way, confirming the prejudices about me that they are trying to provoke to point their finger at last and say “of course she’s full of herself, look at her, that’s what I said”. Statements similar to “attractive people have it easier and unattractive people have it harder are too rigid. I feel it’s important to have an empathic approach to these discussions, and remember that every human experience has its own hardship, and everything is not black-and-white.
Seems like you put alot of value in what other people think. And blow up the whole social setting around being beautifull. You’re fighting against it, like not accepting yourself. If your beautifull enjoy it, everyone can be beautifull in different ways, if that’s physical for you then i suggest to embrace it and not let people walk over you.
That does sound incredibly lonely. I was bullied a lot growing up. In my own therapy, I've learned it becomes a vicious cycle that becomes hard to break out of. I hope you find more people who appreciate you for your character and not just your looks. Thanks for the reminder that everyone has problems, they may be different from yours, but we all suffer and could use a friend.
That's terrible. It's ok to be pretty. I'm guessing you live in India? In my early twenties, I didn't know that I was considered pretty. I wore makeup and dressed up whenever it was appropriate, esp in summer. Now, after some time and working in a fast-paced retail job for 5 years, my entire existence and the way I see myself has changed. I don't wear makeup at all anymore and I feel uncomfortable in fitted pants. My dislike of tighter clothing is in part due to my job-related weight loss, I'll admit. I don't get enough calories for how exerted I am. Anyway, hoping to get to a healthier weight and get a boyfriend by the end of this year. I've never really had a boyfriend and it's getting lonely.
11:00 to be fair, I think lower earning males only release cortisol (a stress hormone) if the woman is shaming them, ridiculing them, and making his life a nightmare for being a low earner. I kinda agree with her second point. Probably lower earning men don't bother to invest in a high earning woman because they know she is a flight risk and will find someone better.
Well lower earning women rarely if ever invest any of their money in a higher earning male but of course it is a problem for women when it is the other way around.
I've been saying for years that I'm not attracted to hot women because of the accompanying personality, I prefer cute and/or beautiful. This conversation distills exactly why, just from the opposite side of things.
Yes, beautiful people also have their distorted experience in life. But everyone’s experience is distorted in some way. That goes for the teacher’s child, the kid growing up on the streets, the billionaire’s child, the athletic child, the disabled child, the child of divorced parents, the only child and also beautiful and less beautiful people. But that should not surprise anyone. Isn’t that the whole reason behind imagining „being in someone else’s shoes?“ You should always that consider the fact that you almost never know the full story.
Thank you! I’m 32 and married for 8 years and still cannot make good quality friends. I spoke to one woman I really connected with who admitted to me she was uncomfortable with me because she was afraid her husband found me attractive and would try to sleep with me…but yet again I’m happily married and my husband was friends with her husband. I dress modest but I was blessed with a Kim K type thin but curvy body. I try to down play it but I cannot conceal my butt regardless of what I wear. I’ve just accepted my fate at this point of always being the one that threatens other women and have zero friends except on social media. I definitely have pretty privilege to the point I don’t dress up or wear makeup grocery shopping and I’m still hit on so I do a lot of grocery pickup now and even the Walmart employee guy made it so now I get a discount each time with his code and I never asked for that. Also my husband treats me like I’m something that can get stolen as I’ve had plenty of scary situations I’ve been in including being followed and sexually assaulted three times now but that was when I lived in the city and was a 18 and 19. It’s no wonder many models down play their looks because they don’t want the attention. I’m by no means trying to brag but its just my reality. I can’t tell you how happy I am I’m aging so maybe I’ll be found less attractive and safer in public.
Thank you for sharing that. It's really quite interesting and helpful to understand how attractive women feel on the inside. My wife is hot enough that I'm wondering how my daughters will turn out, how to raise an attractive but sane/stable/balanced teen girl.
Beauty is mostly physical and natural, Hotness is mostly psychological. Women don't decide to be beautiful but they do decide, consciously or unconsciously, to be "hot" so I don't have much sypathy for the problems of hot women.
2:00 This makes sense...When I was married and taking care of myself she would ask me who I was trying to impress. I would tell her You! She asked me if I had another family.
I've asked out and dated enough "hot" women to no longer be intimidated by them. Quite the contrary, I'm confident enough to ask them out, but I can find out in about 5 minutes if she's even worth my time. Most of them are not. They are not necessarily more crazy, but what I've encountered is this: They are more dumb, both willful ignorance, because people have done so many things FOR them, and because they think they can get away with "playing dumb". Also, their own arrogance is commonly very high. Not the rule, but very common.
I enjoy the chemistry between you two. Also noticed she tries to alway get a reaction or question from Chris, but he's very well mannered and reserved with his answers so it interests her more. 😉
Such an odd comment. All I saw is a regular interview between two people talking. I think you're reading into this WAY too much and seeing what you want to see instead of what is actually there.
0:13 is absolutely correct, she loses naivete and gains an insight about men early in life, often as a child. She discovers a side of men most people don't know about eg., the trusted dr hitting on her, neighbor's husband, her boss, the guy who fixes the heater, her car, etc It's not like she can tell anyone either as it sounds like she's full of herself or gets accused that she led him on (by being polite?). These experiences happen - when no one else was around, very alienating. True, the ones bold enough to approach her are def more likely to cheat. So when you see v beautiful women remaining single, it doesn't mean they are crazy, maybe she relishes peace.
What Sadia said is true. However, I find that the 3-6s are the meanest people, especially the 3-5s. They know they are not attractive and are jealous of those that are. The best looking people tend to be the nicest.
I live in New York and a model agent. It's not that men don't approach them, hot women mostly are closed to conversations because they are insecure that people will figure that they are hollow. Also, rejection boosts their ego but we all get lonely from time to time. Speaking from experience, you'll get a text at 3 am "You wanna hangout?" from a woman you approached 4 months ago and talked once a week. We fugg for a few weeks and until they started distancing as we got closer, which highlights the FOMO aspect of relationships.
@@tarcisiasiniscalchi6641 You must be 12 years old, so I won't hold the lack of logical behavior against you. Women reject in person and online for validation, instead of the other person finding out they have no personality. As an ex-athlete, I know they find me attractive, otherwise I wouldn't have multiple chances but ran through women don't have the ability to pair-bond generally.
There's a great Chris Rock joke about what Sadia says. Men, when they see their friends' girl as high value, men say "I want a girl like that". Women, when they see their friends's boyfriend as high value, women say "I want THAT man". 😀
Really enjoyed hearing her thoughts on this. Very much from the woman’s perspective and easier to believe her because she’s literally the level of attractiveness she’s talking about. Equally interesting is that she never once mentioned the simple fact that beautiful women are born with biological wealth, which means they don’t have to earn attention and positive regard through virtue because it is automatically purchased with beauty. In other words, beautiful women grow into adulthood with a cheat code for superficial values…they cash in with adolescent, underdeveloped minds, and their psychological development is stunted. Simply put, they’re spoiled and entitled. I think everything she said scans as truthful, but generally speaking, beautiful women do NOT experience the same reality. It’s like starting a game like Skyrim with the ability to pay off anyone who attacks you. If you could pay to avoid conflict, you’d get to Alduin (the dragon/boss of the game) and you’d never have developed your character. You’d get destroyed. The real life dragon is the attempt to create real value - family, being a wife, relationships, community. Beautiful women are too psychologically underdeveloped to handle this without introducing insane levels of toxicity. The only real protection against this is a devoted, loving and responsible father who is faithful to his daughter’s mother.
Unless you started out fat and lost weight. Sometimes there's an ugly duckling factor. Attention is still pretty shocking to me, although I'm nowhere near as gorgeous as Sadia.
I asked this question to my female friends and one of them answered "because we can be." Some women can act like toddlers and get away with it. At least for a while. At the same time the nicest kindest and most well adjusted people I know are hot girls that are easily 10s. 🤷🏻♂️
Must we call these women, or any women for that matter, “crazy” - this is akin to calling men “toxic” it’s not helpful. She just gave a very valid reason for the “hot woman” perspective. She’s not crazy, she’s hurt.
Maybe we can relax when it comes to calling these women crazy. Honestly, I love her very eye opening explanation. At the same time, we should definitely still call some women crazy as we still should call some men toxic.
@@tristanmoller9498 i disagree. I used to absolutely call men toxic, all this time. Toxic masculinity absolutely exists, but I’ve since reexamined that to realize that when we use terms like this, it doesn’t help those who need to hear it. They end up doubling down. I’m not suggesting that individuals don’t need to be held to account for poor behavior, but I am suggesting that we’ll never get through to them by starting with a hurtful label or name calling. Further, I don’t think the term “crazy” applies to the example of a women used above.
I think there are very few that understand that for a lot of men attractiveness for long term relationships is a binary thing. Either she's above or below the line of necessary attractiveness and if she's above it doesn't really matter how much, other qualities start to get way more important.
Having been 2nd Runner Up in the Miss Canada pageant many years ago, I can confirm that everything Sadia stated, is true. I was 19 at the time and was tired of being judged solely on my appearance. Finished 5 years of uni, and ran my own business for 36 years. Society can be very shallow and ruthless. Life is much easier now that I’m much older.
@@alessandrameows thank you so much. Your kindness touches my heart. I’m 63 now and was unfortunately married for 25 years to a man who valued my appearance, not my character. However, I have two amazing adult children and life is peaceful and happy. Love from 🇨🇦
Very interesting clip, and its refreshing to hear some of these things laid out straight up by, lets be real, a pair of extremely attractive human beings who are also psychologically educated.
The irony is that Sadia is incredibly hot and yet didn’t seem crazy, and is actually one of the most level headed and rational people I’ve listened to.
I am a straight 48 year woman and when I see a beautiful woman I tell her that I am obviously not hitting on her but she is beautiful, because I know that most women won’t be nice to her
This is one reason muslim women wear hijab. Muslim ppl believe it is protection for society/woman. As they cover their beauty it makes it more important for them to develop their personality, morals and intellect, to be defined by. This makes them pleasant to talk to and hold real conversations around shared values, beliefs and long-term life goals that are also deep and transcend in nature. It prevents ppl getting arrogant and getting a superiority complex based on superficial trates. Keeps ppl down to earth, modesty. Trys to prevent self entitlement and Princess complex. It trys to prevent the commercialisation/weaponising of "beauty", by it not being a publicly displayed and traded commodity/currency. Trys to give women a break from having to compete with each other on just beauty, in open public. That can cause feelings of jealousy. Helps to try to prevent an army of simps and street pestering. As her beauty is for HER and the special people SHE chooses in her life. Helps to try to prevent insecurities trying to maintain unrealistic and unsustainable beauty standards, that are forever changing and expensive to uphold. This can cause mental issues in people and the sense of constant judgement and body shaming from people that don't know you or care about your long-term good. Peace
As a woman who is generally considered as attractive, I agree with everything she is saying. Especially regarding people trying to look for the negative in you and scrutinizing you at work by both other women and men. There is a lot more negative that comes with being attractive then positive.
I think for upper echelons of beauty but if you're pretty in a familiar non threatening way like a girl next door than you get advantages rather than ire
I wish I had a source of wisdom like this when I was growing up. For you men between 12 and 30. This is both the best time and the worst time to be alive. Worst = porn, nihilism like mgtow, horrible economy. Best time = access to people like this, Chris Williamson. Thank you, Chris.
Sadia is spot on! This makes me feel less alone, sane and validated. It had been hard because you don't know who to trust and you don't know who is going to attack you next. So my preference is just to be alone. Sad, isn't it?
My wifes a doctor and earns way more than me. We've both been through hell and back with previous partners, and we both really appreciate each other, i think more than the average couple does. Sometimes you just get lucky and find "the one" 🤷🏻♂️
This lady dilutes the purity of her message to make it palatable for the people that need to hear the message. I'm not still not sure if that's good or bad. On the one hand, the message is dirtied but on the other hand, the people that need to hear said message at least gets to hear said message.
I wonder how we could possibly remedy this...because there's positives to growing up in schools so you can learn how to interact with the opposite sex but also I wonder if there's more benefits to separating the two sexes. If not in middle school then possibly in highschool? At least then the more attractive kids might be able to experience and retain friendships but then I wonder if that would tear down once they graduate? I don't know, I've only briefly pondered on the effects of beauty when it comes to growing up. The same for attractive men though their points of view might be a vastly different due to their sex. I remember growing up, there was this attractive (at the time) young boy in elementary school. All the girls grouped around him like moths to a flame giving him things, chatting him up complimenting him. It was the same for the most attractive girls as well.. I couldn't get it out of my mind because I became aware, at a very young age, of how very superficial their attempts at connection really were. Learning this was both helpful but also hurtful because up until that point, I thought the defining factor for friendship and affection was due to how you treated people and how funny you were.
Hot girls receiver less consequences for their bad behavior. They can act outrageously, because they know they will still receive the attention and protection of men, that is why they are perceived to be crazier. To be fair, hot men receive less consequences for their bad behavior too, however, men in general receive more harsh consequences for their behavior. I was an ugly duckling as a young kid and teenager, however, I worked on myself and I have dated models, and I have dumped models, and I receive a lot of attention from both women and men. The consequences for my bad behavior were much more severe from the people around me and society when I was an undesirable young man compared to now.
Guess i got lucky... when i met my wife... every guy wanted her. Her eyes and her smile... They got me pretty much immediately. I used to have a little secret private bet (with myself) that no guy could be with her for 30 minutes and not fall in love with her. When i met her, she knew she was beautiful but the thing about her though was that she never pushed or relied on her looks... with an IQ upwards of 140... she didn't need to.... so people didn't usually see her as anything less than what she was.
I think the lived experiences of 'hot' women would be very different to those of 'beautiful' women. Or perhaps that's just my interpretation of the terms.
Ok guys, if you ever get a really hot girl’s number, I mean a girl that’s out of your league, break the first date. It short circuits her brain. Then, after the actual first date, don’t call her. She will call you 100%... Then if you get her into bed, break up with her a week later. Really hot girls cannot process why is this happening. Because every guy she ever met before you kissed her ass and she always made the rules. You gotta not give a shit. Then she becomes obsessed, even though you had no biz getting her number in the first place. The down side is that she’s already crazy, so this makes her even crazier. Have fun
As an attractive male, I always found it difficult to make friends with men, and women typically treated me like I was a "playboy". I ended up marrying a girl that was not the "hottest" girl I have been with, but was certainly more balanced.
I watch her because I’m looking at what appears to be an whole integrated AND beautiful woman. She inspires me with the way she speaks and posters. I look for feminine women to help shape my feminine archetype, Sadia and Rihanna have that essence. My husband is very conventionally attractive, he is from Iceland. He’s tall blond and blue so I make sure to keep up my looks up. Okay! Lol
"I look for feminine women to help shape my feminine archetype, Sadia and Rihanna have that essence." --- Rihanna? the caribbean singer girl who physically abused her boyfriend for years until he finally got the balls to hit her back & then when he beat her to a pulp, she tried to play the victim in front of everybody when he finally hit back? you're learning femininity from that Rihanna? smh
I think they are both a little bit crazy, i think Sadia admitted to being a bit crazy or insecure. Not sure why you would want to be like Rihanna, didn't she marry some multimillionaire from the middle east? Probably better to model yourself after someone you know, who has the type of relationship and life that you want. Celebrities tend to be pretty terrible with relationships, at least the relationships you hear about.
@@thecurrentmoment Im already happily married and WAS crazy lol. I watch Sadia for HOW she speaks and her presence. I rejoice when I see positive in the world and in ppl because it’s good spiritual hygiene.
There is also the fact that women dont have the luxury of giving up on society if they dont like it. You dont see any women doing the unabomber lifestyle, but I know a bunch of men like that
rub shoulders without too much interest for the flags. people can’t hide who they are. you can tell by their behavior/expressions. the thing is we don’t get to know people before we choose them for whatever…the smarter you are the harder to find a mate. too many people like being selfish & crazy. 😂
I've got to be honest. If a woman is smoking I do find it hard to see past that. I have often thought how hard they must find life. Sincerely. Aside from the narcissists who just absolutely love it if they are attractive. Normal minded women, I'm sure, being beautiful is a cross to bare. Not as much of a cross as being butt ugly, but a cross none the less.
@@anonperson3972She’s a psychologist and relationship specialist. From what I’ve seen from her, she promotes monogamy and the traditional family unit. She gives good advice regardless of her questionable qualifications imo
I understood when I was 25 that you could not have a long term relationship with a woman that was above 8 out of 10. I still meet adults who does not get it.
Years ago comedian Adam Corolla said something I thought was very insightful. He stated that pretty people never develop good character because no one ever calls them out on their shit. They can say what ever they want and no one will challenge them because no one in our society wants to offend them if they're attractive. As a guy I do see this in women, especially young women. All the 'hot' girls in school were the most obnoxious snotty shits you ever saw...As a result I am at least one guy that never threw himself at the prettiest girls, disregarding that I never stood a chance anyway.
Every hot girl I’ve been with with the exception of 1, had the most insecurities. The mind is the most important thing to me, so if you’re a 5 with an amazing mind and heart your would appear beautiful to me. And if you’re a 9 with a terrible personality you would appear ugly to me. The inside is most important.
At first i thought, this woman knows what she is talking about. But then it came clear she has been riding on the "im hot" wave all her life. The classic "I get everything i want, see how hard i have it" mentality...
I don’t mean to be arrogant in saying what I’m abou to, but I seriously thought there was something wrong with em at a fundamental / core belief level but this has explained so much about my take on loyalty, trust and perception of men’s behaviour and never had I realised that because of my own experience with them /of them regardless of their relationship status which is very sad. The first 5 minutes were such an eye opener!! And the thing is, I’m hardly ever wrong about it…
Hello you legends. Full length episode with Sadia drops on Monday - press Subscribe! Get a Free Sample Pack of all LMNT Flavours with your first box at www.drinklmnt.com/mw (automatically applied at checkout)
if we believe in the institute of marriage and women both 3 and 10 alike age bad and faster how does a man settle for that forever if hes also very successful conscientious and loves the woman? I know he's supposed to be loyal and just suck it up. id like your perspective on this please
Wait!? Legends? I thought we were beauties! 😂😂😂
It would be interesting for a guy to have a virtual reality experience as an attractive woman with how other women treat them... its vindictive as hell out here
Always write summary of each video in 5 lines.
I think character development can be stunted by being extremely beautiful. When someone constantly leverages their beauty to get they want it can lead to some serious character flaws. It's a form of power, and power can corrupt. Similarly if someone is born extremely rich and they don't have to work hard to be wealthy it can have a detrimental impact on holistic development.
Absolutely agree with this! 🙌🏼
It can also be accelerated, there's a notable correlation in being better looking and being smarter. Its hypothesised that the brain develops more for people that look better because they have better experiences with people and thus has more chance to develop.
Agree. But strong fathers just might be able to keep them on the right track.
I remember in middle school I witnessed many attractive and bright young girls literally cease developing mentally, and even regress, at the exact moment they received male attention.
This is one reason muslim women wear hijab. Muslim ppl believe it is protection for society/woman.
As they cover their beauty it makes it more important for them to develop their personality, morals and intellect, to be defined by.
This makes them pleasant to talk to and hold real conversations around shared values, beliefs and long-term life goals that are also deep and transcend in nature.
It prevents ppl getting arrogant and getting a superiority complex based on superficial trates.
Keeps ppl down to earth, modesty. Trys to prevent self entitlement and Princess complex.
It trys to prevent the commercialisation/weaponising of "beauty", by it not being a publicly displayed and traded commodity/currency.
Trys to give women a break from having to compete with each other on just beauty, in open public. That can cause feelings of jealousy.
Helps to try to prevent an army of simps and street pestering. As her beauty is for HER and the special people SHE chooses in her life.
Helps to try to prevent insecurities trying to maintain unrealistic and unsustainable beauty standards, that are forever changing and expensive to uphold.
This can cause mental issues in people and the sense of constant judgement and body shaming from people that don't know you or care about your long-term good.
Peace
Thank you so much for having me Chris
Very intresting conversation
Sounds promising for the whole thing, do you know when it's fully available?
i half agree with what you said @ 2:00 I think thats part of it, but the core reason is that it has more to do with their hypergamy & not wanting to date down in looks or finances. add to that, because her ego is out of control from men constantly hitting on her & validating her, she thinks her sexual market value is higher than it actually is, so she's more likely to turn down men that may actually be on her level, but because she gets so much attention from low value men & simps, she thinks she's better than the 7-out-of-10 guy who introduces himself. so she turns him down.
she'd rather wait around for the 10 guy who is a rich, famous pro athlete... but she's only a 7 herself. she won't approach the 10 guy though. she'll wait around & think that she's so hot that the 10 guy should approach her & then he never does because he has TONS of options. the the mildly hot 7 out of 10 girl ends up growing old, childless & partnerless because her ego won't allow her to "settle" she's either waiting for the 10 guy to approach her which never happens, or she gets ran through by guys who are 10's that will never commit because they have tons of options & don't need to commit... this is how most women operate.
most guys figure this out by their early 30's & start adapting to women's dating strategy by copying what the 10 guys do. simply sleeping around, offering the bare minimum & not committing, just like the 10 guys.
This is one reason muslim women wear hijab. Muslim ppl believe it is protection for society/woman.
As they cover their beauty it makes it more important for them to develop their personality, morals and intellect, to be defined by.
This makes them pleasant to talk to and hold real conversations around shared values, beliefs and long-term life goals that are also deep and transcend in nature.
It prevents ppl getting arrogant and getting a superiority complex based on superficial trates.
Keeps ppl down to earth, modesty. Trys to prevent self entitlement and Princess complex.
It trys to prevent the commercialisation/weaponising of "beauty", by it not being a publicly displayed and traded commodity/currency.
Trys to give women a break from having to compete with each other on just beauty, in open public. That can cause feelings of jealousy.
Helps to try to prevent an army of simps and street pestering. As her beauty is for HER and the special people SHE chooses in her life.
Helps to try to prevent insecurities trying to maintain unrealistic and unsustainable beauty standards, that are forever changing and expensive to uphold.
This can cause mental issues in people and the sense of constant judgement and body shaming from people that don't know you or care about your long-term good.
Peace
For having you 😏
Imagine getting everything you want for existing and then wondering why life is empty
Sure but it's not like they choose that or they are even aware of those things at the time. This is why culture is so important and the promotion of good valuees is so important for thses people whom are edge cases.
Im 6'6", tall, very good looking, male 25 y.o., have been told im smart (but plenty of dumb people think theyre smart so doesnt mean much to say it)
Guys would kill to be me.
Also i have epilepsy, kidney disease, panic disorder, treatment resistant depression, dissociative disorders. Good looks are a huge advantage in life but they arent everything. Being tall and attractive makes people look at me or more likely to talk to me. Freaks me out. Wish i was invisible.
I hope your health improves and you find happiness in life. @@michaelhenderson643
This is my wife’s sister. She is human garbage. Because she’s “hot”. Idk how many times she’s screwed us over. Ruined friendships of mine, that I had to rebuild and lost a few. Because she is human garbage. But guess what, time is not doing her any favors. It pretty comical.
You are jealous cos how is their life empty?
In my younger crazier days, I dated quite a lot. I found that the more-beautiful women that I dated were simply less interesting. It seemed that - because they didn't have to 'earn' the attention that they received - their intelligence, character, and empathy suffered. After a few flings with stunning women, I was bored. I'm always more interested in a smart, funny, women who are down to earth.
more like keep lying@@TV-oc4ml
I had the same experience with men. I dated an extremely hot guy for not very long - only until I realised how vapid he was. My girlfriends told me how unbelievably lucky I was, I couldn’t get rid of him fast enough! It was exhausting coming up with things to talk about! Give me a less attractive but witty, funny, intelligent guy any day instead of air-head Adonises like him!
Very similar experience here. The most beautiful women I dated were consistently the least interesting and most toxic. The good news is you only need to choose a woman SLIGHTLY outside of that top range to find a much more healthy range of interests, attributes, and abilities.
@@TV-oc4mlAh, what's wrong? Can't get a date?
@@TV-oc4ml😂
She’s wrong that men simply fall in love with where they invest their money. Men fall in love with where they invest their time and effort
Money is just a manifestation of that time and effort.
Yeah this pissed me off. She's no expert honestly, she's really kind of clueless.
That's exactly what she said..
to a degree for sure.... but more importantly if what you invest that time & effort into dose not give back in some way then you don't tend to fall for it... unless you have a gambling problem...
> Men fall in love with where they invest their time and effort
You forgot about ROI.
I love when my time and effort is mutually beneficial, as well as when someone's time and effort serves the same purpose.
Hot girls that are balanced are usually from really good families and have good relationships with the men in their family. Which by itself is already tough
or they used to be ugly. (ugly duckling) i've seen girls that grew up fat & become hot & because their brain developed in their formative years when they were fat/ugly, their brain still operates like an ugly chick. so she still has humility, empathy etc. women who start out hot tend to fall into narcissism.
... and they are unicorns. Especially in today's atmosphere with so much more access to them and options for them.
@asdfdc1946 100% agreed
"Find your ugly duckling" as Dr. Orion Taraban of PsycHacks said
This. It's true and they do exist but you won't find them with a big Social Media presence, that's why it feels like they just don't exist anymore. I know a few absolute bombshells, better than anything you'll find on Social Media and the one thing they have in common is a Healthy mostly traditional family that raised them right. It's rare but they do exist, and if you ever win one of them over, you commit hard.
Or they're not as hot as you think..or others would think they're just okay, not hot. But other than that, I agree with you.
Women who think they're beautiful from birth are usually crazy when they reach adulthood. But women who are decent-looking and then get a glow-up when they get older are usually more "normal" and humble.
I went out with a model a few times but though I tried to like her, she was just boring. After three dates or so, I stopped calling and she reached out confused. I didn’t have the heart to say, though I gave her more effort than other women, I couldn’t see a relationship.
She’s used to other people “entertaining her” I’ve dated girls like this
Same man, she was shocked. Ultimately she grew from it I think
And then they tell themselves guys like you were ‘intimidated’. It’s not all about looks.
Why was she boring and what did you impart to her?
@@educortazarc interesting she can't hold a conversation nor a connection. It's like the looks attract the guy once he there it's like something lacking.
So as someone who has lost count of my girlfriends/sexual encounters with girls and in my mid 30s I will tell you right now, 9 out 10 times this is a Yes. This is to the point where when guys I grew up with from 2 different High Schools in two different States I grew up in get married and start their families, the girls they marry are maybe 5s on a good day when they used to date 8s, 9s and even 10s. It's because eventually even if your experienced, you approach things the right way, the crazy ones will hurt you, and often the crazy ones are the super hot ones.
All that said, that doesn't mean every hot girl has loose marbles, I know a few that are knock out gorgeous, like super model status even more than what you see on all your Social Media. And they are still humble, and in control and are known for being genuinely good people even by ex-boyfriends. The one common denominator with those sane hotties, they grew in a really good well balanced mostly traditional families. You can @ me all you and get upset about it, I'm just stating factual life experience. They had a great home life, were instilled with good life lessons at a young age, took care of themselves and just happened to be genetically really attractive.
If anyone has seen the Crazy Hot Scale Video with the dude who draws the chart, even though it's meant to be funny and pretty meme like, it's... pretty accurate. Look it up on youtube if you haven't seen it.
FCIT
This is one reason muslim women wear hijab. Muslim ppl believe it is protection for society/woman.
As they cover their beauty it makes it more important for them to develop their personality, morals and intellect, to be defined by.
This makes them pleasant to talk to and hold real conversations around shared values, beliefs and long-term life goals that are also deep and transcend in nature.
It prevents ppl getting arrogant and getting a superiority complex based on superficial trates.
Keeps ppl down to earth, modesty. Trys to prevent self entitlement and Princess complex.
It trys to prevent the commercialisation/weaponising of "beauty", by it not being a publicly displayed and traded commodity/currency.
Trys to give women a break from having to compete with each other on just beauty, in open public. That can cause feelings of jealousy.
Helps to try to prevent an army of simps and street pestering. As her beauty is for HER and the special people SHE chooses in her life.
Helps to try to prevent insecurities trying to maintain unrealistic and unsustainable beauty standards, that are forever changing and expensive to uphold.
This can cause mental issues in people and the sense of constant judgement and body shaming from people that don't know you or care about your long-term good.
Peace
@@mthoodstyle Well said.!
The Hot Crazy Matrix - James Yeager
@@davids1716 Thank you. That's the one, didn't look it up before I posted, just came to mind as I was going.
I think "hot girl" needs to be defined better. Because in my experience just interacting with other women, the ones who put in a lot of effort to their looks (spend 2 hours in front of the mirror or something) tend to be meaner and have an overinflated sense of self. Whereas someone who is absolutely gorgeous but maybe doesn't wear the nicest clothes or put effort in to their looks would be more level headed or well rounded. How many people are attributing looks to someone because of how they act rather than objective beauty you know? I've always been confused at how men evaluate looks lol. Seems like women get the rating of 10 for arbitrary not looks related reasons
It does appear that average looking women can signal as hot with hair, makeup, fillers and a certain attitude. I wonder if women see through this better than men do. It particularly bewilders me because I am so far removed from that sort of scene, I don't know anyone like that in real life.
When trying to figure out why some women are crazy, we can't ignore the effect of their relationship with their father - growing up believing you actually are a princess has to do a number on your mind.
It always goes back to the father.
Princess treatment has to be accompanied by values. If not the kid is being spoiled. Is not the princess treatment per sé what causes havoc.
Yes. Asian girlfriend from a rich father. He paid for everything but was and is emotionally cold. Verbally abusive, and all in all kind of a dick. But that fucked up her idea of what a man should be.
If you don't treat your daughter like a princess there's something wrong with you.
Totally agree. Don’t get me wrong to any only-children (no siblings) out there, but I usually notice only-child people also suffer from “princess” syndrome, both men and women. Never having to share or think about the sibling next to you, look after the person younger than you etc. The same can be said for the youngest in households with multiple siblings. They often get the baby / princess treatment from parents and elder siblings which can end up creating narcissistic tendencies or outlooks. Not saying all are like this but yes it’s usually a result of the parenting IMO
As a general rule, yes.
Confirmed! There you have it! 😅
As a guy who has dated across the attractiveness spectrum (insanely hot to ho-hum average)…no, there is no positive correlation with mental instability and beauty. However, I did see a positive correlation with poor behavior and beauty. I think that has to do with beauty allowing those women to behave poorly. People give them a free pass based on their physical attractiveness which allows them to act out in ways that a less attractive women wouldn't dare try.
This.
Interesting. Almost like poor behavior is an indicator of mental/emotional instability
@@socialnetworking4782 quite the jump to conclusion. You can be very entitled, self-centered and arogant, which makes for a very shitty character, but not unstable.
@@socialnetworking4782 yes and no. Poor behavior could be indicative of some underlying condition. Though, I have kids and I know when other parents don't discipline or guide their children because I can watch them acting out in public in bad ways without parental action.
But in this case, we are talking about a correlative relationship between beauty and mental instability. There are plenty of attractive women who are very sound in mind.
@@garyfrancis6193this is all woefully subjective, I’ve seen men claim their gf is “super hot” and to everyone else she’s plain
Being attractive carries with it the projection everyone puts on to you. It's easy to disappoint others or for others to get a false sense of who you are. People see what they want to see.
That’s true!
The investing in your woman thing is 100% true. When it eneded i felt loss, loss at the wasted time and effort. Far more than i can ever mourn the loss of her as a person. That is not to say i didn't love her, but after someone puts you through pain and makes you angry, all thats left is the thought
"If only i had invested in someone or something else"
There’s plenty of women that aren’t very attractive that are extremely crazy imo. I don’t think looks apply at all imo. It’s the narcissistic women that are also very insecure that are the ones to watch out for in my experience.
Theres a lot of women getting attention online and think it applies to the real world so she has an over inflated sense of self worth
''Some of them can be very balanced'' was answer enough 😅
Hot girls (legit unique quality level of visual attractiveness) and celebrities all have the same problem: receiving insane level attention everywhere you go out in public. Not just attention, but everyone also wanting something from you.
Now, assume she's pretty, and also has an "attention seeking syndrome", because she never had a healthy daughter father relationship 🤔Not only does she get the attention, but also likes to attract all kind of guys (the crazy ones as well).
Everyone needs to understand the hot/crazy matrix explained on TH-cam 😂
That is an excellent video that should be shown to everyone!
And the Mendoza diagonal!
Amber Heard
Classic!! and very true
The world of a beautiful woman is very different than the average person. It's normal for strangers to want to help you, people usually greet you with a smile, doors get opened for you. The tough part is that the woman wouldn't know this is not normal until the looks fade away. My advice to beautiful women is to work on their character, build a family and meaningful connections so when looks do fade their identity doesn't get lost and they can still find purpose with a meaningful life.
Very similar to men who have money. The smart ones get tired of the attention & attraction and seek to attract women who love them for their intrinsic qualities. (money can be lost and there's always someone with more money)
@@vince1012 Good point. From my perspective, a gentleman with money usually brings another / bigger challenge, which is to be able to discern the type of woman that falls in love with him for who he is vs the "lifestyle" that he's able to offer. This is tricky because to be honest, the woman might not even realize that she's in love with the lifestyle and the man's ego can blind side him. If you are a man with money, especially if you work hard to make that money, usually your time is a scarce resource because you are using it to make money vs spending that time with your special one to build that connection. Consider this as you go into a relationship knowing that she might not realize that she might be in love with what you got to offer vs who you are.
Because ultimately, men are valued for their resources like women are valued for their beauty.
Not sure how we're defining "hot" vs beautiful/attractive/pretty, but the experience of seeing some of the worst behavior in men and competitive nature in women, people actively looking for your flaws or assuming you're a snob or unintelligent etc due to you being on the more attractive side, she is spot on.
From male perspective 'hot' is female sexual energy without purity element, which almost gains some predatory aspect. To be 'beautiful' as a woman you have to also have that pure almost naive element. The first aspect enables short term mating strategies in us and the second aspect enables long term ones.
For men, "hot" is more synonymous with I need to mate with you type of thought to keep this conversation light-hearted.
Beautiful or Pretty type comments fall into more of something akin to like classical feminine traits. There may not be an urge to immediately "breed" them, but you are still attracted to them.
It's subjective right and based on the individual but another way to put it would be.. if a girl is hot to you it's more a lustful feeling and about sex. If shes Beautiful or Pretty it tends to fall more into the I want a life with you and to love you. It's kinda hard to describe but hope that helps.
For a lot of guys now it's not so much we think really hot girls are stupid that's sort of an old stereo type that lives on from the 90s and early 2000s.. IMHO now it's more if shes a 8-10 beware, you could get your heart caved in. A lot of that has to do with the rise of Social Media, because if your dating a 8-10 and shes on all types of Media chances are shes probably got 5-10 guys trying DM her each Month, and the low side of things.
Food for thought.
"hot" is elite shape with great genetics usually an athlete mode frame with low body fat. Beautiful is no makeup natural with great genetics. Attractive and being pretty is created and faked with makeup and filters.
@@rcmunro22 for me its kind of weird seeing how other men define these.... never thought there would be such differences.
for myself Hot dose indeed bring about instinctive urge but someone could be hot & beautiful at the same time... i mean beauty as "very pleasing to look at separate from sexual desire" i think would be close to my personal definition of beautiful & i like it that way as it makes sense that i can use it exactly the same for a woman or a piece of art.
Hot being she's extremely sexually attractive is a good basic definition of hot, but for me she would need to have certain things that would also make me consider her beautiful.... but i suppose if you only look at the definitions in terms that jocks use the comment above yours would seem to fit more soundly.
thanks for the comment its been a interesting short term thought experiment to think on how i feel about the definitions & how/if it was possible to describe them.
@@blackdeath4eternity Yeah for sure, like I said it's subjective and based on the individual right.
I have found personally and with my friend groups all over (I moved around a lot and made a lot friends in different States so I kinda have a lot irl experience/data on this) at least my era of guys who are in their 30s now.. typically Hot means I want to have sex with that person. If you see a girl and your like oh wow shes beautiful your still attracted to her in a similar way but your first thought isn't Sex it's more like I need to get to know her and be a part of her life. But to each their own for sure, it's good to share with people to gain understanding of perspectives.
Super interesting topic. Chris hit the nail on the head about models counter-signalling by dressing down and actively trying to look as plain as possible. I spent years in that industry and noticed that too. No make up, hair in a pony tail and a baggy shirt with sweat pants. Seems strange but I think it's a push back against people telling you that your looks are your value. There's so much pressure on them to be perfect that when they aren't on set they have no energy or desire left for caring how they look and instead want to be seen for who they are.
I complimented a woman at work (in a community where looks/appearance is core to the individuals present) for having the courage to step in and argue on someone else's behalf. She was very intentional in thanking me for recognising her for that - and it was clear from how she said it that she was so pleased to be recognised for something other than her looks.
@@michaelrobinson9643as a pretty woman thanks, yes, doesn’t matter what a pretty woman has, only matters that she is pretty. I cultivated my intelligence and people never see it, cause it only matters that I’m pretty and I stay pretty. Don’t you dare, as a pretty woman, to stop being pretty. And then ageism comes and now doesn’t matter that I was pretty, or that I am smart, I’m just old now. You can never win
@@PossibleBat Refreshing to hear someone address agism and the bullying that comes with it and how it's becoming stronger again. It affects everyone though, and goes far beyond looks, and it's a very toxic mindset society needs to distance itself from again.
The first time Sadia went on MW, I enjoyed every moment of the wisdom from both parties. Looking forward to another.
@@_notsaf "The first time Sadia went on MW," I acknowledged that in the beginning.
Loving her skin tight outfits
The thing is none of these two people fully understands the reality of average grey men and women.
It's a 'wisdom' a very narrow range of people can apply. For the rest, everything is slightly more twisted and complicated.
I disagree with the end. I was always very invested in my girlfriends and they changed their behaviour after they started to earn much more or had a better status than before. Anyways, I'm happy they did and that I have showed them my line, walked away, grew as a person and walked into my actual awesome relationship. You have what you tolerate!
I've had this idea/question for many years now. That is being good looking causes people to become crazy because of the way they are treated.
It's similar to how a celebrity experiences life. They can be surrounded by people that always agree with them, laugh at things they say that aren't funny, give them things, give them special privileges/access, etc.
People who stand out from a crowd due to their looks are much more often harrased by predators, accused of things they didn't do (like intentionally seduce someone, breaking up families, and such... when they just wanted to be friendly, smiled at someone and said a few kind words to a person who was horny and looking for an excuse to leave their partner anyway), shamed and ostracised for things they are not, when other people already made assumptions about them (like being told they are premiscuous, stupid or shallow, even when there's zero evidence to back up that claim), they have to constantly deal with people's projections and vicious attacks, they are often treated instrumetally and backstabbed by people close to them, in many cases their boundaries are not respected and their voice is dismissed when they try to speak up for themselves...
It's understandable that people who get that kind of treatment for a long time, become hypervigilant and develop trust issues that are incomprehensible to those who didn't have such experiences, and then they get called out by people living more stable and risk-free lives, like they are "crazy" for not being "normal", calm and trusting around strangers, as if being risk-aware is a mental illness and remembering their own crappy past experiences is being petty, unforgiving and irrational.
If everyone treated others with the same respect, no matter their looks, this issue wouldn't exist.
The movie Malena comes to mind
It's not that hot girls are crazier, is that they are allowed to operate in society in which no one sets or enforces boundaries on them BECAUSE they're hot. They then think that this is how things work and when they come up against someone who doesn't care much foer their attractiveness with their "hot girl shenanigans" and they are shocked. They continue to do this to other people which in turn builds their reputation of being "crazy" imo
In my time in the pickup community, I talked to thousands of women in all kinds of places. In my observation, the most attractive women were the nicest, sweetest, friendliest, with only one exception. While the less attractive ones could be really aggressive and unfriendly.
? so.... you are admitting guilt , aka your to blame for their later bitterness & disinterest? :P lol
Yes it seems to me that hot girls are well-socialised. They've had more conversations, more friendships, more romantic relationships. They have more baggage but more useful experience also.
One of the best videos on Modern Wisdom. I don't usually comment, but just giving you one for the algorithm. Thanks for this podcast Chris
They're both so well versed in what they do and so articulate, love this podcast. Thanks and congrats on everything Chris, all the success you have is so earnt.
Everyone wants to be very attractive (men and women) but people don’t realize the problems, hate, and emptiness that can come with it
Would like to find out by myself, never have had that experience ever.
Haha, Exactly. Happy to try myself.@@paulofurtado81
Everyone one want to be happy, and want to reduce the cause of suffering for self and others : fundamental core of goodness
Meh, if the perks weren't worth it they'd do things to appear less attractive, wouldn't they? Instead of posting complaints about their lost privileges when their beauty fades as they age, they'd praise the perks of getting older.
@@OmniscientlyMemany women have gained weight on purpose, especially after sexual assault. Safety in invisibility.
Excellent conversation. So nice to hear people unapologetically speak about gender differences. It is the experience the most people live and it is relevant to talk about.
Enjoyed this conversation the last time, looking forward to the full episode!
Sadia is so lovely. She is one of (if not the only) woman talking about men's issues on the internet who really gets it. Whenever I see women on TH-cam talking about men, they're always way way off. They're over simplifying everything and reducing men to lowly horny cavemen. Women in general have no idea what men really want, and they seem completely incapable of empathizing with the male experience. Sadia is so graceful and knowledgeable about both men and women.
Cause is her intelligence
Like Chris, she's one of the few taking a balanced, rounded view that encompasses both male and female issues. Rather too many women who now advocate for men are just opportunistically stroking male grievances for their own gain (i.e. to increase their web traffic and revenue) and in that sense they are little different to grifters like Andrew Tate.
"Understanding the Psychology of Hot and Successful Individuals"
Summary:
This TH-cam video delves into the unique psychological experiences of hot and successful individuals, shedding light on the challenges they face in their personal and social lives. The discussion focuses on hot women, their perceptions of men, and how their attractiveness can affect their interactions with both men and women. Additionally, the video touches on the challenges successful men and women encounter in forming stable relationships.
Key Points and Takeaways:
1. Attractive women often encounter men who are either overly intimidated by their beauty or overly lustful, leading to skewed perceptions of men's behavior.
2. Hot women may see men as risk-takers who are willing to break commitments for the chance to be with them, causing them to become suspicious of their partners.
3. The psychology of attractive women is different from that of less attractive women, making them more intense and less naive about relationships.
4. Women are often viewed as threats by other women, leading to a competitive dynamic among them, especially when attractive women are present.
5. Men tend to see attractive women as potential short-term mates, affecting the dynamics of their interactions.
6. The transition for hot women as they age can be challenging, as they may have built their identity around their looks, making them more fragile.
7. Successful men can struggle with relationships if they have low self-esteem, but high self-esteem and good boundaries can lead to healthy relationships.
8. Successful women often face difficulties, as men may feel emasculated when their female partner earns more, impacting their relationship dynamics.
9. Men may invest less emotionally and financially when dating a woman who earns more, making it easier for them to walk away from the relationship
This video provides valuable insights into the complexities of attraction, success, and relationships, highlighting how these factors can shape an individual's psychological experiences.
The key is to be aware of your arousal and treat highly attractive women like you just want to be friends and not try to impress her in any way or convince her that you're worthy of being dated by her.
The 10/10 girl is annoyed that everyone is just interested in her apperance and will value a deeper conversation and your ability to regulate affection.
I wouldn't treat her like "I just wanted to be friends". I make my intentions clear (choice of style) during interactions with funny jokes and stuff but (!) I'd say treat her like you'd treat any other woman. Evaluate whether or not she is a good fit based on her personality and disregard her looks. That's all that matters.
I've had beautiful friends. They do attract assholes. If she has brothers and a good father, she won't be crazy, but it can still take her a long time to find a guy who is brave enough to approach her but isn't a jerk.
Beautiful doesn't necessarily equate attractiveness
I was a very hot young woman. Until about 30. Told I should be a model. I'm now semi-attractive, but a mostly invisible 41 year old. It comes to an end!
The comments about being a model are fake. People say that to everybody. Also, it’s a disaster if you look bad at 41
Do you do laser peels etc?
The key is to treat good looking women exactly the same as every other women.
Even treat their friends who aren’t as attractive well.
The key is confidence and it make her understand she is just as relevant as everyone else.
The key of attraction.. is being attractive physically. It's the most important aspect.
💯
You can tell Sadia Khan speaks from experience. She's amazingly beautiful, but seems to have navigated the pitfalls of it very well.
This will be very personal, since I never open up about this subject in my life -but I felt almost compelled to while listening to this, and sorry in advance for pouring my heart out here. This was a hard watch for me. I will never forget how much of a shock it was for me once the pretty privilege discussion went viral because, during my entire life experience, I have never felt something being more inaccurate.
I always fear talking about this, because I knew I will get slammed for saying that beauty is more of a curse than a blessing. I just have to let it out. Wherever I have showed up, women have hated me from the first day. I have been bullied, gotten my hair cut off, laughed at, mocked and repeatedly gotten a ruined reputation within the first week of changing schools/university. I have never had a real female friend or one that has not secretly plotted behind my back and backstabbed me, and my male friends were all looking for just one thing which I realise way too late after investing my time and heart in these friendships, in the hopes to find a genuine human connection. Perhaps this blinded me as well. The scary lengths a bruised ego can go to in order to ruin your name, I wish upon no one.
Life of beautiful women is incredibly lonely. I study psychology to try to find answers to unconventional topics that maybe few pay attention to. Just yesterday, I was analysing exactly this theme after some recent events that have taken place in my life regarding it. So, this video is very well welcomed. I want to add, in regards to the purposely “glammed down” models, that I have always loved elegant dressing styles which I also practice. Maybe that’s a mistake and makes people hate me more - I can see why pretty women would hide behind these clothes in hopes to become invisible. I could consider this.
Every interaction I have had with other females since I entered puberty (I am almost 21 now) they have been competitive, rude, sarcastic and constantly trying to undermine me even though I’m agreeable, gentle and kind to them. Until this day I try to help them, try to compliment them and really get to know them in hopes they stop seeing me as a “mean girl” and that I will eventually find someone. They always act as if I have thrown shade at them or as if there is an underlying message or motivation in everything I say or do, leaving me to wonder again that I am the one something is wrong with. When it comes to dating, I have never engaged in it and not had a relationship in fear of getting hurt and completely isolated myself. I am so exhausted.
I have never said anything back to the women in fear of being seen as arrogant and in that way, confirming the prejudices about me that they are trying to provoke to point their finger at last and say “of course she’s full of herself, look at her, that’s what I said”.
Statements similar to “attractive people have it easier and unattractive people have it harder are too rigid. I feel it’s important to have an empathic approach to these discussions, and remember that every human experience has its own hardship, and everything is not black-and-white.
Seems like you put alot of value in what other people think. And blow up the whole social setting around being beautifull. You’re fighting against it, like not accepting yourself. If your beautifull enjoy it, everyone can be beautifull in different ways, if that’s physical for you then i suggest to embrace it and not let people walk over you.
That would be the case of a beautiful woman with an average, or below average intellect.
That does sound incredibly lonely. I was bullied a lot growing up. In my own therapy, I've learned it becomes a vicious cycle that becomes hard to break out of.
I hope you find more people who appreciate you for your character and not just your looks.
Thanks for the reminder that everyone has problems, they may be different from yours, but we all suffer and could use a friend.
@@MustbeTheBassest❤Thank you.
That's terrible. It's ok to be pretty. I'm guessing you live in India?
In my early twenties, I didn't know that I was considered pretty. I wore makeup and dressed up whenever it was appropriate, esp in summer. Now, after some time and working in a fast-paced retail job for 5 years, my entire existence and the way I see myself has changed. I don't wear makeup at all anymore and I feel uncomfortable in fitted pants. My dislike of tighter clothing is in part due to my job-related weight loss, I'll admit. I don't get enough calories for how exerted I am. Anyway, hoping to get to a healthier weight and get a boyfriend by the end of this year. I've never really had a boyfriend and it's getting lonely.
11:00 to be fair, I think lower earning males only release cortisol (a stress hormone) if the woman is shaming them, ridiculing them, and making his life a nightmare for being a low earner. I kinda agree with her second point. Probably lower earning men don't bother to invest in a high earning woman because they know she is a flight risk and will find someone better.
Well lower earning women rarely if ever invest any of their money in a higher earning male but of course it is a problem for women when it is the other way around.
I've been saying for years that I'm not attracted to hot women because of the accompanying personality, I prefer cute and/or beautiful. This conversation distills exactly why, just from the opposite side of things.
The more beautiful the woman, the better behaved and nicer they are in my own experience. Less insecurities and resentment.
Yes, beautiful people also have their distorted experience in life. But everyone’s experience is distorted in some way. That goes for the teacher’s child, the kid growing up on the streets, the billionaire’s child, the athletic child, the disabled child, the child of divorced parents, the only child and also beautiful and less beautiful people.
But that should not surprise anyone. Isn’t that the whole reason behind imagining „being in someone else’s shoes?“ You should always that consider the fact that you almost never know the full story.
Thank you! I’m 32 and married for 8 years and still cannot make good quality friends. I spoke to one woman I really connected with who admitted to me she was uncomfortable with me because she was afraid her husband found me attractive and would try to sleep with me…but yet again I’m happily married and my husband was friends with her husband. I dress modest but I was blessed with a Kim K type thin but curvy body. I try to down play it but I cannot conceal my butt regardless of what I wear. I’ve just accepted my fate at this point of always being the one that threatens other women and have zero friends except on social media. I definitely have pretty privilege to the point I don’t dress up or wear makeup grocery shopping and I’m still hit on so I do a lot of grocery pickup now and even the Walmart employee guy made it so now I get a discount each time with his code and I never asked for that. Also my husband treats me like I’m something that can get stolen as I’ve had plenty of scary situations I’ve been in including being followed and sexually assaulted three times now but that was when I lived in the city and was a 18 and 19. It’s no wonder many models down play their looks because they don’t want the attention. I’m by no means trying to brag but its just my reality. I can’t tell you how happy I am I’m aging so maybe I’ll be found less attractive and safer in public.
Thank you for sharing that. It's really quite interesting and helpful to understand how attractive women feel on the inside. My wife is hot enough that I'm wondering how my daughters will turn out, how to raise an attractive but sane/stable/balanced teen girl.
Beauty is mostly physical and natural, Hotness is mostly psychological. Women don't decide to be beautiful but they do decide, consciously or unconsciously, to be "hot" so I don't have much sypathy for the problems of hot women.
2:00 This makes sense...When I was married and taking care of myself she would ask me who I was trying to impress. I would tell her You! She asked me if I had another family.
I've asked out and dated enough "hot" women to no longer be intimidated by them. Quite the contrary, I'm confident enough to ask them out, but I can find out in about 5 minutes if she's even worth my time. Most of them are not.
They are not necessarily more crazy, but what I've encountered is this: They are more dumb, both willful ignorance, because people have done so many things FOR them, and because they think they can get away with "playing dumb".
Also, their own arrogance is commonly very high. Not the rule, but very common.
Amazing woman she is! These two people are communicating to educate us viewers effectively. Earned my sub!
I enjoy the chemistry between you two. Also noticed she tries to alway get a reaction or question from Chris, but he's very well mannered and reserved with his answers so it interests her more. 😉
She likes to throw in subtle flirts.
Such an odd comment. All I saw is a regular interview between two people talking. I think you're reading into this WAY too much and seeing what you want to see instead of what is actually there.
0:13 is absolutely correct, she loses naivete and gains an insight about men early in life, often as a child. She discovers a side of men most people don't know about eg., the trusted dr hitting on her, neighbor's husband, her boss, the guy who fixes the heater, her car, etc
It's not like she can tell anyone either as it sounds like she's full of herself or gets accused that she led him on (by being polite?).
These experiences happen - when no one else was around, very alienating. True, the ones bold enough to approach her are def more likely to cheat. So when you see v beautiful women remaining single, it doesn't mean they are crazy, maybe she relishes peace.
What Sadia said is true. However, I find that the 3-6s are the meanest people, especially the 3-5s. They know they are not attractive and are jealous of those that are. The best looking people tend to be the nicest.
I live in New York and a model agent. It's not that men don't approach them, hot women mostly are closed to conversations because they are insecure that people will figure that they are hollow. Also, rejection boosts their ego but we all get lonely from time to time. Speaking from experience, you'll get a text at 3 am "You wanna hangout?" from a woman you approached 4 months ago and talked once a week. We fugg for a few weeks and until they started distancing as we got closer, which highlights the FOMO aspect of relationships.
This makes zero sense. Beautiful women are hollow? Seriously? Ugly women can be bad persons. How does rejection boosts ego?
She was not attracted to you
@@tarcisiasiniscalchi6641 You must be 12 years old, so I won't hold the lack of logical behavior against you. Women reject in person and online for validation, instead of the other person finding out they have no personality.
As an ex-athlete, I know they find me attractive, otherwise I wouldn't have multiple chances but ran through women don't have the ability to pair-bond generally.
Omfg. This should be coined 'the hot girls' dilemma.'
Thanks for the insights, Chris, Dr. Khan
There's a great Chris Rock joke about what Sadia says. Men, when they see their friends' girl as high value, men say "I want a girl like that". Women, when they see their friends's boyfriend as high value, women say "I want THAT man". 😀
Really enjoyed hearing her thoughts on this. Very much from the woman’s perspective and easier to believe her because she’s literally the level of attractiveness she’s talking about.
Equally interesting is that she never once mentioned the simple fact that beautiful women are born with biological wealth, which means they don’t have to earn attention and positive regard through virtue because it is automatically purchased with beauty. In other words, beautiful women grow into adulthood with a cheat code for superficial values…they cash in with adolescent, underdeveloped minds, and their psychological development is stunted. Simply put, they’re spoiled and entitled.
I think everything she said scans as truthful, but generally speaking, beautiful women do NOT experience the same reality. It’s like starting a game like Skyrim with the ability to pay off anyone who attacks you. If you could pay to avoid conflict, you’d get to Alduin (the dragon/boss of the game) and you’d never have developed your character. You’d get destroyed. The real life dragon is the attempt to create real value - family, being a wife, relationships, community. Beautiful women are too psychologically underdeveloped to handle this without introducing insane levels of toxicity.
The only real protection against this is a devoted, loving and responsible father who is faithful to his daughter’s mother.
literally
Unless you started out fat and lost weight. Sometimes there's an ugly duckling factor. Attention is still pretty shocking to me, although I'm nowhere near as gorgeous as Sadia.
I asked this question to my female friends and one of them answered "because we can be."
Some women can act like toddlers and get away with it. At least for a while. At the same time the nicest kindest and most well adjusted people I know are hot girls that are easily 10s. 🤷🏻♂️
Must we call these women, or any women for that matter, “crazy” - this is akin to calling men “toxic” it’s not helpful. She just gave a very valid reason for the “hot woman” perspective. She’s not crazy, she’s hurt.
Maybe we can relax when it comes to calling these women crazy. Honestly, I love her very eye opening explanation. At the same time, we should definitely still call some women crazy as we still should call some men toxic.
@@tristanmoller9498 i disagree. I used to absolutely call men toxic, all this time. Toxic masculinity absolutely exists, but I’ve since reexamined that to realize that when we use terms like this, it doesn’t help those who need to hear it. They end up doubling down. I’m not suggesting that individuals don’t need to be held to account for poor behavior, but I am suggesting that we’ll never get through to them by starting with a hurtful label or name calling. Further, I don’t think the term “crazy” applies to the example of a women used above.
I think there are very few that understand that for a lot of men attractiveness for long term relationships is a binary thing. Either she's above or below the line of necessary attractiveness and if she's above it doesn't really matter how much, other qualities start to get way more important.
Having been 2nd Runner Up in the Miss Canada pageant many years ago, I can confirm that everything Sadia stated, is true. I was 19 at the time and was tired of being judged solely on my appearance. Finished 5 years of uni, and ran my own business for 36 years. Society can be very shallow and ruthless. Life is much easier now that I’m much older.
I'm sorry for the loneliness you must have experienced, I hope you find peace in your life.
@@alessandrameows thank you so much. Your kindness touches my heart. I’m 63 now and was unfortunately married for 25 years to a man who valued my appearance, not my character. However, I have two amazing adult children and life is peaceful and happy. Love from 🇨🇦
So, so interesting. I really liked hearing what she has to say.
She’s very switched on.
Very interesting clip, and its refreshing to hear some of these things laid out straight up by, lets be real, a pair of extremely attractive human beings who are also psychologically educated.
The irony is that Sadia is incredibly hot and yet didn’t seem crazy, and is actually one of the most level headed and rational people I’ve listened to.
Would bang 💯
I am a straight 48 year woman and when I see a beautiful woman I tell her that I am obviously not hitting on her but she is beautiful, because I know that most women won’t be nice to her
The amount of wisdom Sadia dropped in the first two minutes was incredible
Entering a marathon and finding out its a race
Was married to one for 17 years. Not worth it fellows. Too many issues. Life is far more peaceful now.
This is one reason muslim women wear hijab. Muslim ppl believe it is protection for society/woman.
As they cover their beauty it makes it more important for them to develop their personality, morals and intellect, to be defined by.
This makes them pleasant to talk to and hold real conversations around shared values, beliefs and long-term life goals that are also deep and transcend in nature.
It prevents ppl getting arrogant and getting a superiority complex based on superficial trates.
Keeps ppl down to earth, modesty. Trys to prevent self entitlement and Princess complex.
It trys to prevent the commercialisation/weaponising of "beauty", by it not being a publicly displayed and traded commodity/currency.
Trys to give women a break from having to compete with each other on just beauty, in open public. That can cause feelings of jealousy.
Helps to try to prevent an army of simps and street pestering. As her beauty is for HER and the special people SHE chooses in her life.
Helps to try to prevent insecurities trying to maintain unrealistic and unsustainable beauty standards, that are forever changing and expensive to uphold.
This can cause mental issues in people and the sense of constant judgement and body shaming from people that don't know you or care about your long-term good.
Peace
Lol
Very interesting and very informative 👍 👌
As a woman who is generally considered as attractive, I agree with everything she is saying. Especially regarding people trying to look for the negative in you and scrutinizing you at work by both other women and men. There is a lot more negative that comes with being attractive then positive.
I think for upper echelons of beauty but if you're pretty in a familiar non threatening way like a girl next door than you get advantages rather than ire
But I agree I feel like I have to constantly show I'm not a threat and am held to some unspoken standard
I wish I had a source of wisdom like this when I was growing up. For you men between 12 and 30. This is both the best time and the worst time to be alive. Worst = porn, nihilism like mgtow, horrible economy. Best time = access to people like this, Chris Williamson. Thank you, Chris.
Sadia is spot on! This makes me feel less alone, sane and validated. It had been hard because you don't know who to trust and you don't know who is going to attack you next. So my preference is just to be alone. Sad, isn't it?
Mr. Williamson, you’re an awesome human being. Interviewing equally great people. Thanks for delivering truly excellent content.
Can’t wait for this to be released!
Great conversation
very interesting insights
My wifes a doctor and earns way more than me. We've both been through hell and back with previous partners, and we both really appreciate each other, i think more than the average couple does. Sometimes you just get lucky and find "the one" 🤷🏻♂️
This lady dilutes the purity of her message to make it palatable for the people that need to hear the message.
I'm not still not sure if that's good or bad. On the one hand, the message is dirtied but on the other hand, the people that need to hear said message at least gets to hear said message.
I wonder how we could possibly remedy this...because there's positives to growing up in schools so you can learn how to interact with the opposite sex but also I wonder if there's more benefits to separating the two sexes. If not in middle school then possibly in highschool? At least then the more attractive kids might be able to experience and retain friendships but then I wonder if that would tear down once they graduate? I don't know, I've only briefly pondered on the effects of beauty when it comes to growing up. The same for attractive men though their points of view might be a vastly different due to their sex. I remember growing up, there was this attractive (at the time) young boy in elementary school. All the girls grouped around him like moths to a flame giving him things, chatting him up complimenting him. It was the same for the most attractive girls as well.. I couldn't get it out of my mind because I became aware, at a very young age, of how very superficial their attempts at connection really were. Learning this was both helpful but also hurtful because up until that point, I thought the defining factor for friendship and affection was due to how you treated people and how funny you were.
I agree with this. I think Men & Women should be separated.
One thing that is for sure is that Hot Girls are allowed to be more crazy
Hot girls receiver less consequences for their bad behavior. They can act outrageously, because they know they will still receive the attention and protection of men, that is why they are perceived to be crazier. To be fair, hot men receive less consequences for their bad behavior too, however, men in general receive more harsh consequences for their behavior.
I was an ugly duckling as a young kid and teenager, however, I worked on myself and I have dated models, and I have dumped models, and I receive a lot of attention from both women and men. The consequences for my bad behavior were much more severe from the people around me and society when I was an undesirable young man compared to now.
So insightful, thought this was a really well-rounded and honest conversation on this topic
Guess i got lucky... when i met my wife... every guy wanted her. Her eyes and her smile... They got me pretty much immediately.
I used to have a little secret private bet (with myself) that no guy could be with her for 30 minutes and not fall in love with her.
When i met her, she knew she was beautiful but the thing about her though was that she never pushed or relied on her looks... with an IQ upwards of 140... she didn't need to.... so people didn't usually see her as anything less than what she was.
Wow, she really does have a lot figured out more than anyone I have heard before.
I think the lived experiences of 'hot' women would be very different to those of 'beautiful' women. Or perhaps that's just my interpretation of the terms.
Ok guys, if you ever get a really hot girl’s number, I mean a girl that’s out of your league, break the first date. It short circuits her brain. Then, after the actual first date, don’t call her. She will call you 100%... Then if you get her into bed, break up with her a week later. Really hot girls cannot process why is this happening. Because every guy she ever met before you kissed her ass and she always made the rules. You gotta not give a shit. Then she becomes obsessed, even though you had no biz getting her number in the first place. The down side is that she’s already crazy, so this makes her even crazier. Have fun
Or do not be a fool.. and enjoy the moments of your dreams while it lasts..
As an attractive male, I always found it difficult to make friends with men, and women typically treated me like I was a "playboy". I ended up marrying a girl that was not the "hottest" girl I have been with, but was certainly more balanced.
You're so based and modest, your wife is so lucky
@@luckyrockmore2796 Yes.
What an enlightening interview. I really appreciate the information.
I watch her because I’m looking at what appears to be an whole integrated AND beautiful woman. She inspires me with the way she speaks and posters. I look for feminine women to help shape my feminine archetype, Sadia and Rihanna have that essence. My husband is very conventionally attractive, he is from Iceland. He’s tall blond and blue so I make sure to keep up my looks up. Okay! Lol
"I look for feminine women to help shape my feminine archetype, Sadia and Rihanna have that essence." --- Rihanna? the caribbean singer girl who physically abused her boyfriend for years until he finally got the balls to hit her back & then when he beat her to a pulp, she tried to play the victim in front of everybody when he finally hit back? you're learning femininity from that Rihanna? smh
I think they are both a little bit crazy, i think Sadia admitted to being a bit crazy or insecure. Not sure why you would want to be like Rihanna, didn't she marry some multimillionaire from the middle east?
Probably better to model yourself after someone you know, who has the type of relationship and life that you want. Celebrities tend to be pretty terrible with relationships, at least the relationships you hear about.
@@thecurrentmoment Im already happily married and WAS crazy lol. I watch Sadia for HOW she speaks and her presence. I rejoice when I see positive in the world and in ppl because it’s good spiritual hygiene.
There is also the fact that women dont have the luxury of giving up on society if they dont like it. You dont see any women doing the unabomber lifestyle, but I know a bunch of men like that
True, we lack the general strength and know-how to eke out an existence in the woods and not die come winter.
rub shoulders without too much interest for the flags. people can’t hide who they are. you can tell by their behavior/expressions. the thing is we don’t get to know people before we choose them for whatever…the smarter you are the harder to find a mate. too many people like being selfish & crazy. 😂
Dude, your set is different every like 5 episodes. HOW? Great Podcast by the way, keep it up!
it's in the eyes, that's where kindness resides
I've got to be honest. If a woman is smoking I do find it hard to see past that. I have often thought how hard they must find life. Sincerely. Aside from the narcissists who just absolutely love it if they are attractive. Normal minded women, I'm sure, being beautiful is a cross to bare. Not as much of a cross as being butt ugly, but a cross none the less.
Love. Chris. She has nothing but her opinions
Thank you! She is a grifter.
Who is she? Is she just some random chick giving her opinion?
She has no scientific knowledge just dresses up her opinons as fact@@anonperson3972
@@anonperson3972She’s a psychologist and relationship specialist. From what I’ve seen from her, she promotes monogamy and the traditional family unit. She gives good advice regardless of her questionable qualifications imo
She pointed out where the stereotype comes from. People are looking for problems to put you down. Average and below can be crazy and no one cares.
I understood when I was 25 that you could not have a long term relationship with a woman that was above 8 out of 10. I still meet adults who does not get it.
Years ago comedian Adam Corolla said something I thought was very insightful. He stated that pretty people never develop good character because no one ever calls them out on their shit. They can say what ever they want and no one will challenge them because no one in our society wants to offend them if they're attractive. As a guy I do see this in women, especially young women. All the 'hot' girls in school were the most obnoxious snotty shits you ever saw...As a result I am at least one guy that never threw himself at the prettiest girls, disregarding that I never stood a chance anyway.
Every hot girl I’ve been with with the exception of 1, had the most insecurities. The mind is the most important thing to me, so if you’re a 5 with an amazing mind and heart your would appear beautiful to me. And if you’re a 9 with a terrible personality you would appear ugly to me. The inside is most important.
You have to experience a few 9s and 10s to truly appreciate a 6 with an amazing heart. As a dude you have to get it out of your system.
At first i thought, this woman knows what she is talking about. But then it came clear she has been riding on the "im hot" wave all her life. The classic "I get everything i want, see how hard i have it" mentality...
Hot women can get away with massive personality flaws so they do until they hit the wall
I don’t mean to be arrogant in saying what I’m abou to, but I seriously thought there was something wrong with em at a fundamental / core belief level but this has explained so much about my take on loyalty, trust and perception of men’s behaviour and never had I realised that because of my own experience with them /of them regardless of their relationship status which is very sad. The first 5 minutes were such an eye opener!! And the thing is, I’m hardly ever wrong about it…