How narcissistic abuse IMPACTS how you show up in intimate relationships
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
After narcissistic abuse, your worst enemy is your memory.
Spot on observation. I have a steel trap memory which is both good and bad depending......
@@jokendrick2124 how can it be good?
When I have a flashback, I say thank you to myself for showing me the way they really are. It makes it easier to walk away and stay away.
@@veronice_ronnie I remember everything. My family comes to me when they cannot remember as they know I will. My mother said I remembered some things from the age of 2. Good or bad I remember. Not every moment with my late malignant narcissist husband was bad.
Yes!!!
One bonus is that in a healthy relationship after a toxic one, you are incredibly grateful for the small things; healthy communication, straightforward discussion, a partner standing by their word, consistency, calmness, sincere generosity, thoughtfulness, someone loving your quirks, support etc. That gratitude can make a loving & healthy space.
I hope to find this someday, but I'm not holding my breath. I'm 55 so it's not likely. I wasted too many years with narcs.
I know I'll end up in another relationship, but the after the nitemare I just got out of , I already don't trust her and I haven't even met her yet
@@michaeljonas7604 Give yourself time. You'll get there.
@@lhmccool67 Be patient with yourself. 55 is not old, you have years to heal & move forward.
I didn't find my healthy relationship until I was 48.5. Some people fall in love at 80.
When you thought that person loved you until you realize none of it was real. You wonder if love really exists or if you will ever find it down the road.
This!! 😢
I’ve certainly given up. Feels like men are all narcs. It’s the only trash that comes into my life, at least. Thankfully after the first one, I can tell who’s a narcissist. They haven’t proved me wrong yet.
The nicer and more empathetic you are; the more they are attracted to you. Even with years of therapy….. I’m like a magnet for them, being a hypersensitive person.
They can't love, you can! Grab the brassc ring when you see and feel it, you deserve real love. Just remember a bunch of red flags is not a bouquet.
They simply only care about number 1. No guilt, no remorse. Gray Rock and no contact have b proved quite wise and for tye most part I am at peace, learn from the past but dont live there or let it steal my present. I've worked to long and hard to be free ❤😊😊😊😊
Funny. As a man who survived a covert narcissist soon to be ex wife, it seems to me that all women are narcissists.
I'm done with romantic relationships. There's so much I want to do, see and experience. Living life with a narc that requires constant validation, overshares and brags is tiring. I'd like to live quietly, privately and on my terms now.
Ditto!
Yup .. I mean if it happens organically as the result of living my life - cool, but I am no longer LOOKING FOR “love” ..
I felt crippled for a while. Now the best thing is On My Own.
Isn't it satisfying? I am so content alone.
It's good to be alone sometimes. But as human beings, whether we like it or not, we are biologically programmed to not be alone, as an evolutionary survival mechanism. Of course, healthy relationships over narcissistic/toxic ones. And being alone is still healthier than the toxic relationships. But being able to cultivate/find healthy relationships eventually is important for our well-being.
As a survivor of childhood narc abuse, Im finally dropping the word "sorry" from my vocab. Now its "I cant do that" PERIOD.
Yes!!! This is me to. I use to say sorry all the time. I don’t anymore!!!!!
I am a narcissistic family survivor. Love isn't taught in a narcissistic family system. I am learning to love without their influence. No contact was my only option. Save yourself! I am not sorry.
I replaced I’m sorry with I apologize for what I did.
You should like Janet Jackson at the end of her relationship with her secretly bi husband in "For Colored Girls".
"Save your sorry." meaning she was so fed up with apologies, especially his, that she no longer wanted them. She even said her closet was so full of "sorry" that she had to throw some away for lack of room.
It was a powerful scene which ended with "When I get back, I want you gone. And take your H. I. V. with you!"
How I'm known for saying sorry my mum is narcissistic. I can't stop saying sorry! Well done though x
I'm so thankful I am in a time of my life that I do not require another husband/relationship. Very freeing and satisfying. One and done. Friends are welcome. Narcissists are not.
I totally identify
The relationship with my narcissistic spouse has screwed me up so badly, I can't even imagine starting another romantic relationship. I'm done. I think I'll stick to the unconditional, non-romantic love of my kids, extended family, and pets. Maybe I'll make some friends again too. I had to give those relationships up, and I really miss having friends.
True friends make true lovers ❤
Ouch. Your experiences are so close to mine, it was actually painful to read your post! Thank you for sharing, Ann.
Navigating through a healthy intimate relationship while still stuck in a narcissistic family structure, is one hella of an internal struggle 😭💀😭
I caught myself apologizing for nothing the other day. My new boyfriend (who is amazing) simply asked "what are you apologizing for". I had to explain that while I know I'm safe with him and don't have to worry about being belittled for stuff like singing along with the radio sometimes I forget because it's an ingrained habit. He just said hey you are more than okay.I get it. And I'm happy that you momentarily lost your filter for a few minutes. Even tho you applied for it, it shows growth and healing that you actually lost yourself. Then we went on with our day. Was great.
I love it
That's so great to hear
That’s beautiful ❤
I was unwanted from my mother's pregnancy and grew up with her covert narcissistic abuse characterized by chronic silence, emotional abandonment, lack of empathy, emotional shaming. I have never had the ability to have friends. How can I have healthy relationships when I don't have a clue to the basics? I am 65 years old.
As a mother, that breaks my heart to hear. 🫂🫂
I feel for you.. I had exactly the same mother. I am 70 now . My mother died 3 years ago but unfortunately the damage she has done to me all my life will never go away and it’s destroying me.. I sincerely wish you very good luck...be strong...
I wanted to have friends right from my childhood. I was stopped every time I wanted to play with them . I played by the rules of my covert narcissistic family well into my 30s and then my partner continued where my family left me. He picked up a fight just before I set out to meet my friends. Later I picked the cue and stopped meeting them or talk to them. Same when I wanted to visit my extended family. Was always on time restrictions when ever I went out to meet them. Now I am here, no one to rely on , all alone. Wondering what my life has become.
@@lyndachristen6136 I share your experience. I didn't realize until my mom died three years ago why I was the mess I am. Now that I understand it I am finally ready to do the work to heal. But for what? I long to be connected to other people, but it is hard to find people our age open to new relationships.
I pray that you have healthy people come into your life showing real love ❤ that you have the strength and resources and help you need to make new healthier friendships
I don't feel capable of a healthy relationship. I feel too broken.
Totally relate. 🫂🫂
I feel ya.
I struggle with this on the daily. You got this! 💖🫂
The fear of abandonment and being betrayed are what I think is the most significant impacts that a narcissistic relationship left on me. Even though I know very well how it works and how I should cope with it when getting triggered, it still hurts sometimes (will keep working on those wounds and wish everyone who went through the same things getting better and stronger).❤
Thanks for clarifying that even for the abused… we fear abandonment
Yes. More about the betrayal. Living a lie. Wow!!!!
@cledosliop4175 thanks for your kind words, and i agree with your experience. Those were results of my childhood, very confusing.
Any relationship with narc damages our psyche, we're on guard all the time and cannot be ourselves in new healthy relationships. We should be completely healed before anything.
We're Never completely healed.
I'm 70, and am done with this dance.
Life is more complicated than heal and go on your way. Healing sometimes just means being more clear about asserting your needs and understanding your scars.
@@kathleenferguson3296🎯
Yeah I am healing but not completely. Maybe not ever completely but I can’t wait forever, ya know? I can be aware of my own actions as I procede.
It’s a gift that keeps on giving. Even though he’s gone, I keep doing things to myself that he was doing to me.
I’m always haunted by these words she said to me one night: “what do you really know about me? I only show you what I want to.” It’s been over a year since the supposed end, and yet I still ruminate about her from time to time wondering what did I ever really know about her? I don’t know to be honest. After nearly 3 years of walking on eggshells, and ignoring the various red flags, I also have a lot of anger towards myself. Like how did I ever allow myself into this? How did it happen? Why didn’t I listen to myself and just stay away after the first silent treatment? (I eventually lost count of them). I went from feeling like the luckiest man in the world, and feeling like damn I love her, she’s so great. To feeling trapped and isolated, and not trusting my feelings. I know none of us can change the past, and I know I’m still trying to recover and move on. I really, really want to love again, I really do. I just fear that perhaps, I may not be able to because of what I had experienced. Because unhealthy love isn’t love, and it took me a long time to come to grips with that.
I don't trust myself to even know what a healthy relationship is.....at the age of 68, I don't think I've ever had a healthy relationship my entire life!
I'm 55 and feel the same way. I lost so many years and opportunities. I feel empty and worthless and lost and dummied down.
Yep, I am 62 and am now increasingly private and wary. After my experience of my family of origin and successive adult relationships, the very thought of meeting someone new is exhausting!
After a one year of a relationship with a narcissist, and my past is filled with bad experiences, I have the feeling that I will be very lonely when I become in my 60s. The idea that give me peace to be okay with it is that:
People will disappoint you all the time is a reminder that god will not.
Having your hopes hanged on people makes you feel bad, because they should be hanging on god. Damage and feeling lost is not scary after you realize that your white, happy, satisfied heart god will take care of it with people or not he will choose and we should trust.
After years of childhood narcissistic abuse by one parent and fundamental emotional neglect by both, I continued to surround myself with people who repeated the familiar pattern. Now, after 4 decades of marinating in this petri dish of dysfunctional communication habits, my body is so used to and trained for it, I find myself reacting inappropriately at very innocuous things on the regular. My nervous system just automatically assumes an attack, some form of degradation, of being put down for whatever behavior, decision or attribute.
Just yesterday, I was drinking tea, and someone commented "It's fascinating how different our brains work, you're drinking the tea from the bottom of the shelf, despite a similar flavor (but different brand) being in reach on the top." It's a harmless observation and factually correct, and still I immediately shifted into defense mode, overexplaining myself, raising my voice, white-knuckling my cup). It was a straight emotional flashback, and despite being able to identify it quickly enough, it took about 2 hours to emotionally regulate myself. It's putting so much stress on the people I love, and finding a healthy way between isolating myself and being overwhelmed by ingrained protective, maladaptive behavior feels really exhausting.
I would probably read an implied criticism in that too. ❤ In fact, it feels off to me in print and I wasn't even there! Liking different brands, an interesting label, or just wanting to try something new (or the same), are all totally UNremarkable reasons people might choose different versions of something. And commenting about "brains working differently" seems an odd way to talk about such an innocuous, and NON-noteworthy choice.
On the other hand, if their comment was about self-observation like "You just made me realize I reach for what's right in front of me and don't look around," or "I always go for the tried and true and I've noticed you're more adventurous," that wouldn't unnerve me. (Nice if they could *say* that though!)
I can now sometimes feign calmness and ask people what they meant (and am sometimes rewarded with a believable and reassuring response : - ). But giving myself permission to let go of (or limit contact with) people who repeatedly trigger me *regardless* of their good or bad intentions has added a lot of peace to my life
It was an epiphany for me when I realized healthy people leave relationships for all kinds of reasons, including just not clicking, or wanting something different. Part of my healing has been realizing I'm allowed to do that too!
Kudos to you for being able to re-regulate within two hours! One of the BEST perks of doing the work to heal has been recovering faster from emotional flashbacks that used to set me back days, weeks, or even *months!* Good job! : - )
I also emotionally reacted, just reading about the tea story. Wow. We are so damaged.
"One mistake won't sink the ship" Love it! Great video, Dr. Ramani :)
Having a healthy intimate relationship with another person feels to me as impossible as going to the moon. I simply can't see it happening for me in this lifetime. Fortunately I have beautiful children to give my love too. My only goal is to be a good mother.
Sounds lovely
Same.😢
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. ❤️
Any time a woman seems intensely interested in me straight away my guard shoots straight up 😢 I still have issues trusting people and that feeling of waiting for the shoe to drop 😩
I feel this too… it’s even the same with friends, when you are getting on a little too well and they are eager it feels so unbearable. Too much fear around letting your guard down.
After experiencing narcissistic abuse, you may feel paranoid and distrustful, as though everyone is fake and disingenuous. You may also be more irritable. And you may have flashbacks and nightmares of the abuse. I’m sorry for anyone who is going through this. But if you are with a loving partner, they will understand you and comfort you. But you should also not put too much pressure on them, as it may damage your relationship with them. Remember to take time to yourself to heal and process these emotions, to avoid parentifying a healthy partner. I wish you the best in your recovery and in your new relationship.
Along with depression, longterm narcissistic abuse can cause immune issues and other serious health issues. It’s sad that you have to choose between your health and a relationship with someone.
Very sad but I am choosing my health. After 2 yrs of going NO contact I fell for her bullshit bcz bt nw in less than 2 months since letting her back anxiety has started again.
Please do more about this subject! It feels like it or me will never get better. Like it’s now just wired in the nervous system to feel all of what you said!!!! 😢
It gets worse each time your force yourself to open up and it just gets exploited because you still couldn't see who's just wearing masks.
Worst are those take sadistic joy in rubbing not mere salt, but sulfur into those openings you allowed, if not forced yourself.
It gets harder each time.
Thank you for this video- too old now for desiring romance but it’s nice to know my current feelings are normal in even just new friendships!
Thank you Dr Ramini. I so needed to hear this. I'm out of a 36 year relationship with a covert narcissist. Divorce process started. Feel very lucky to have found a lovely new man but my past is a real problem, I'm so damaged. Because of children, ex is still around playing mind games. I find it all so confusing
This Thanksgiving I’m thankful for Dr Ramani
Agreed!!❤
I want all of that. Love compassion, empathy, kindness, consideration, reciprocity, and respect.
Perfect timing for this talk. I've reconnected with a very kind man whom I dated briefly about 15 years ago. I recall thinking that I felt he was too kind, patient, and well-adjusted to want me long-term. I was afraid of judgment. I still am, but at least I recognize it for what it is now. Gonna move slooowwwwly. :)
@jrhc3827 Yaaay! Your comment made me smile ear-to-ear! Best wishes and thank you for sharing! ❤
Bless you. Wishing you safety.
Im in a post narcissistic healthy relationship and it hasnt been easy but it is so worth it. I remember disagreeing with him one time and he said "it will be okay. We will get through it." I was mad so I said maybe for you but its never going to be okay for me. He was right we did get through it. I learn and grow and he really listens to me. He sees me. We dont agree on everything but we have alot in common. I know hes upset if he says he wants to take a break talking about something and talk about it later. Some days i want to burst into tears because I am filled with gratitude. I finally feel completely accepted.
Are you? He was right - Where are you? I remember disagreeing with him one time - mismatch = not real!
Trying to catch myself each time I'm about to react from my wounded self and give it time before I do react. Every single time so far, it turns out something was truly an accident or not at all what I was projecting about the healthy person. I even get a sincere apology without asking or begging to see my side. It's so wonderfully foreign to me. I'm not 100 percent trusting still. I'm trying to be both open yet still guarded without pushing him away but not yet giving all of me since it's early. Tbh, I kinda did jump into this right after leaving my long-term Narc person. That was a traumatic experience in so many ways. And a distraction from a kind person turned into something more. But it has been healing for me & I've managed to mostly not react like a wounded animal despite wanting to for the first few months. I had to be a little more honest than most people in the very beginning so that this person could understand where I was coming from and I was more than ready for him to leave immediately. But he hasn't. No matter what happens, I'm very grateful for this person having the patience and being there for me. I hope to find my authentic self again and be able to give it back.
I hate, maybe that’s a strong word anyhoo, saying sorry to everyone. People always respond you didn’t do anything! It’s ingrained in my speech. It’s been over 3 years now since narc. I do find myself getting short with people. Healing from inside out is how some wounds heal best. I don’t put up with peoples s_ _ t anymore. Either I shut the door on them or I’m setting boundaries. Sometimes avoid them all together. (Walls) otherwise I like my own skin.
This was excellent. Raised by narcissistic parents I was hair triggered to fight or float off and married a different acting narcissist with a similar pattern of my mother, that being threats of suicide and actual actions of self harm that devastated me to believe I was so awful to live with, someone must die. Truly mind bending. Fast forward, years single, dated again and met the man I loved very much. He, after 2 years turned out to be a phony. Betrayal OMG. And because I keep showing up and diving deep with others like yourself, within 6 months I moved, sold my half of our home we had just bought and am grieving right now and NOT paralyzed all the time like my marriage of half my life. A miracle that is truer than true. Thank you Dr. Ramani for the clarification of what happens to us. i'm 66 and feel so much free-er than I ever have.
I am so grateful for this video. I have spent the past couple of years learning about narcissist relationships and now I want to move forward in being a much better version of myself. Thank you for a dependable road map to guide my thoughts and actions.❤
The narc relationship is a magnet that had messed up my compass... This is a good comparison.
Brilliant. I am so Grateful for the phenomenal impact your work is having in this community and in the world, Dr. Ramani. Thank you!
Excellent. Thank you, Dr Ramani, for always having something to guide us through the different stages we are going through in our lives. I just lost my narc husband five months ago, and everything you said in this video was relatable. I'm so grateful for your coaching.
These are the videos that always help to remind me of my reality and help me to feel less crazy
Your networks are the first thing they go after so they can isolate the target and feed off of them while mimicking all of the actions the target takes in order to return to themselves.
Thank you again so much, Dr. Ramani. This video is a life saver, a warm light ahead of a long, dark, winding road of recovery and restoring self-esteem.
I had long given up on having normal, functional and meaningful human relationships after finally realising I was an abuse survivor of narcissists. The life long trauma deeply damaged my soul and badly shaped my personality. But after more than 20 years, I may be starting to rediscover the courage of once again seeking beauty and fulfillment in being genuine and vulnerable with other people. I will be selective carefully and trust my instinct more this time.
My biggest fear is of attracting another narcissist when my divorce is finally over. I am scared i will get sucked in. i do tend to give in rather than argue or stand my ground. and i get anxiety when anyone pays for my meal. I LOVE the top you are wearing. It really brightens you up! your videos are really helpful. Thank you
Hi Miriam Ruth, I am also afraid of attracting another narcissist! So I can relate. Thank you for voicing your fear.
I refuse to let my ex be the reason I don’t experience true love. For now, I am focused on healing and being the best version of me and the best Mom! But to not date again or totally cancel out marriage because of him? No way! That’s giving him too much power and control and he’s had that far too long. I do view the world differently, but it’s not a bad thing. I have become more observant and wise in who I give my time and attention to. I listen more than I speak and don’t overshare things anymore when meeting people.
MAJOR TRUTH! Slow and steady.. VERY SLOW… wins. I’m not there yet.. I’ll keep you posted! 🥰
Preaching to choir! It’s so harder to do than to say for sure!
God this is good Dr.Ramani❤
A magnet that messes up a compass. Best description of narcissism!
I'm done with any kind of intimate relationship especially romantic ones. I prefer to set my boundaries to protect my soul, inner peace from any kind of manipulation. Thanks Dr. Ramani for your precious contributions ❤
Thank you for your help and support dr Ramani. ❤
Be kind to yourselves. It takes as long as it takes to heal from narcissistic abuse. Experience brings awareness. We will all be fine… 🙏🏽♥️
Dr. Ramani... your are brilliant sister! Thank you again and again, as your stellar participation in humanity has benefited sooooo many of us❤
Thank you so much dr. Ramani, your work is helping so many people in the world, with what seems to be an epidemic of people with narcissistic traits, to full on narcissists. Looking forward to reading your book 🙏❤
Wow. Thank you. Dr. Ramani. I listened twice and took notes to discuss with my marriage counselor.
“Reality Dismantle”… YIKES!
Thank you Dr. Ramani! You and Dr. C have really helped me!
Thank you again, Dr. Ramani. ♥️
Thank you for the video. Exactly when i needed it. ❤
Yeees, more content like this please! We need more on healing and something that's just about us and not the narcissist 🥰🤩❤ Thank you, Dr Ramani!
Gratitude, wonderful topic!🥰
Thank you, Dr.Ramani. You talked about these struggles with compassion and validation as well as pointing out what may happen in a normal relationship if we are not aware of what activates us. And yes, absolutely agree with you …at least a solid year of being with your own self before trying on another intimate relationship.
I was going to comment this on your Narcissism Bingo video but I wanted to say that it helps to put my problems into perspective.
This was really helpful. Thanks, Dr Ramani.
This is your best video yet! 31 years of waiting for the other shoe to drop-I finally feel that I married a good man.
True, it's overwhelming for me to date and intimacy. I'm more at peace with myself when I limit time spent with others. I, mostly, like hanging out by myself. I'm not as overwhelmed. Holidays are challenging. I pray; this holiday is enjoyable and joyous to you and many others to find themselves in a healthy environment.
This is one of your best messages. Thanks!
Thank you so much for this video Dr.Ramani. I've been out of the abusive relationship for over 3 years and I still struggle with this.
Is incredible to my how spot on Dr. Ramani is on her comments about how it feels being abused, when she said “ you know that a good day means a bad day is coming around the corner “ huufff that hit me so hard.
I have even told this to the one person I have ever loved. If I was ever having a good time I shushed myself sooner saying I will have to cry sooner if I didn't stop . And immediately got myself composed . I wasn't even allowed to enjoy myself from childhood by my narc mom.
Finally met someone great 6 years after cutting off contact with my narcissist. I’m experiencing a few of these issues, so this video was timed perfectly 😊
Such an 👁 eye opener!!
Thanks so much for this great video Dr.Ramani🙏🏻❤
It's been over a year since I'm far away from his contoI. Never the less I cannot even imagine dating again! Your examples give me confidence because my intuition has been damaged due to his lack of respekt. You look beautiful💃🏻
I find that when i'm with people who don't know me and what i'm going through its so easy to be myself in conversations and joviality. Its luke having a blank canvas where i can be myself. Then, the people who know everything about me show rheir own masks eventually and i start to feel on edge as if i was in another abusive relationship. When i meet people who are so understanding (mirroring perhaps) i feel distrust. 🍒
My husband has a narcissistic mother. I am here to help with his healing process and protect myself from his family system thank you for your videos. Would love more on what I can do to help. He has trouble saying no to me even when i just want his opinion and wouldn't mind a no. Then he goes sulky and passive aggressive because he's doing something he doesn't want to silly man.
The top matching with a chair looks really nice. Aesthetic success 👍
…’sets a precedent’. That has always been my original thought, has such impact coming from Dr. Ramani.
I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes watching this. I struggle to put into words how in felt in my last relationship. You described my experience word for word. My God I found myself worrying if i was doing something wrong and constantly trying to prove myself worthy of this person. Having the blame be placed at my feet because i wouldn't open up to him and being in fear of abandoned which I knew was coming and it did.
I can really identify, the magnet that messes up a compass is the best example!
I preordered. I love your purple chair. :)
Another relationship?
Are you being silly? Post narcissistic/psychopath marriage, I will not be looking to bond with another human maybe ever. Trust? Not possible anymore. Intimate? Yeah right, those days are in the past and for sure I'm glad I didn't wait till marriage to practice intimacy tell ya that for free!
I so agree with you. Been there done that. Not looking to complicate my life ever again. A friend is enough. Or a dog.
It takes time... and I somehow experienced ever point you mentioned... After a year I felt ready - dating a massive borderline person - now knowing lots about narcissm but was new to borderline ;-).... it was short, often triggering - but in the end a good lesson. Infatuation and intimacy... some month later found my new partner... and now together since 18 months... We communicate, no trauma, no tradegy its so different, so true... but I actively worked on it with my coach and alone... I was prepared that behind every curtain is another curtain - and I have to work it out.
Yes! Thank you!!
I went through most of these in early in my relationship with my now-husband. He is one of the strongest people I’ve known emotionally, and I remember being newly married telling myself to stop being in denial and to wait for the other shoe to drop. The final point, I remember going through when Covid happened, haha probably because I was so miserably bored in general and found myself missing the rollercoaster, then stupidly got hovered back in for a while (the problem people, fyi, are my toxic family of origin).
I notice I immediately think the worst of someones intentions. Its hard to trust whats actually going on. Due to unhealed trauma and doubting myself. It's like the trauma has compromised my intuition and perception. Seems like they have merged and have become blurry. Hard to see clearly anymore.
I always spoke out in the narc realm, it enrages them. Terrible situation, glad it's in the rear view mirror
You are doing wonders for me
Dr. Ramani said and I still struggle to believe it. That healthy relationships are strong and resistant to mishaps. In my brain, I keep thinking that anything I do will be the last strand, and that for me, I need to make a decision on the last straw or I'll let myself be trapped in a toxic relationship. I need to keep reminding my hyper vigilance that healthy relationships are resistant to some downs.
Dr. Ramani good day from Jamaica 🙏🇯🇲. I thank you for your encouraging words. I "met" you September 2023, so all that you said, post being discarded like a dirty dog is true. I am a trained teacher, so my life's college lessons are: reading about evil people and good people in the Bible. I learn to talk to myself and My Most High. I am ready to be in a healthy respectful relationship. Respectful couple testimony is Samson's parents in Judges 13. I pray for a new beginning for all survivors of narcissistic abuse, for the real deal. Have a pleasant day ahead and forever, you are a lovely lady, that cares and share.
Be kind. Best we can do.
I just want to thank DoctorRamani for these videos and the "community" they have created in the comments. Just recently realized that I was the scapegoat in a Narcissistic family. The information provided in the videos help me understand the situation I am in; and the comments let me know i am not the only going through this.
Technicall support people: ( USA 🇺🇸) : btw: congrats 🎊: as well: thank you 😊: again: thank you 😊
This is the relationship I am in now, I need to get out. Thank you
It’s a real struggle being called avoidant all the time. There’s always such a focus on it. The thing for me is there’s rarely a day that goes by where there’s not something that needs to be fixed about me or I said wrong or something. A catastrophe of some sort. Trouble in paradise. It’s so hard to deal with.
On INSTVGRVM
Hooks_crack
I hope you have a great Thanksgiving Doctor Ramani!
l can vouch for this one too, what i go through because of this is a much bigget problem for me than dealing with the abuse, its been happening all my life im 53 now, i dont want to tell anyone , its humiliating, and the same scenario keeps happening ovet and over and over, i have s. a. d. So bad , its very derply engraoned , this began the day i was born , it really sucks ive missed many important things , and it continues happening, its exyremely difficult to talk about, it makes me cry. I could never be that. Cruel to anyone , my own family did this to me, they go around telling all tjat im crazy, they let me rot out on the streets for 20 yrs not one of them gave a rats ass about me , not even for five minutes, i made it off the streets by myself. I wish it wasnt true, but it is.
My husband didn't suffer from a romantic narcissistic relationship but rather from his narcissistic mother. Hope you can create more content about how toxic family upbringing can show up in marriage and in one's parenting, and how to work on it.
I feel everything about me is wrong...what I say...what I do...just being me is wrong. This feeling sucks!
Would love to experience a healthy relationship and find out 🤗🦄
In the meantime i recognise these issues in my rather new workspace and in the working relationship with my closest team mates, who are nice and kind people. Its a work in progress and reallt hard work getting used to a healthy way of relating and starting to trust my self and recovering my natural, spontaneous and kind way of being.
Thank you again dr. Ramani for this beautiful ckarifiction and reassurance. Bless you❣☀️
💫🕊🐛💝🙏🏼💝🦋🕊💫
HA 😃 ITS NOT YOU BOOK HAVE 2 LUV 💞 THAT !! a very interesting thought came to me with all this happening survivors npd maybe survivors find other survivors an have a grateful relationship knowing how awful the toxic ones were ..
I fell for narcissistic thinking love is unconditional. I came out of Narcissistic relationship knowing love is not that conditional (Narcisst only show love when you checkmark all their conditions and yet will never love you in real) and definitely never unconditional.
Thank you for this video
Great tools to think about and not take this in new relationship
I gotta heal first
Life of vDomstic abuse
Been hard healing
Good morning. I haven't been intimate with anyone bcse I have no intimate feelings for anyone. If I meet someone who I really care about, then LOOKOUT! TOXIC people, BEWARE ...I'm on to you! 😘