FEELS A LITTLE WEIRD TO ADVERTISE ON THIS VIDEO but Hank ordered me to do so: The Awesome Socks Club is accepting new memberships, which only happens a couple times a year. Great socks designed by independent artists, and all the profit goes to charity: awesomesocks.club -John
Advertising the Awesome Socks Club on Hank's channel is more welcome than 99.99% of advertisements that happen AT ALL, which speaks to the amazing community and awesome head that started and sustains it all. Let the socks flow. ❤
Hank, facing presumably the hardest challenge of his life, somehow still manages to be a ray of sunshine in an otherwise gloomy world, even if he doesn't feel as such. Thank you, Hank.
I hope this is the hardest challenge he ever does face. That this is it. That it all goes as the doctors now expect, he is cured, and it is over. And clean sailing from there. Good health for him and everyone he loves until he's a very old man.
Yeah. I linked this to a dear friend of mine and I said in preamble: 'There's a thing that happens when you care about someone going through a crucible, that you know they'll have insights that are more poignant than you might have the spoons to want to experience, but you respect the journey, because there but for the grace of grace, go we.' Got up in my feels for this one, glad I watched.
I actually realized I hit a pretty big milestone in my relationship with my younger self recently. Like, I would venture, most trans people my relation with the person I was before I transitioned is complicated to say the least, but long story short I was an absolute terror during my high school years. I was every negative stereotype of a high school atheist/communist/art kid you can think of rolled into one human-shaped time bomb. I never got physical but I got into regular screaming matches with my teachers, other students (my civics teacher is probably still recovering from me,) the administrators, my parents, basically everyone. I was not pleasant, my grades were middling to abysmal, and I was basically ideologically opposite but otherwise alike in every way to Ben Shapiro. I used to joke a lot about how I wish I could go back in time and shove my high school self into a locker. I was about three end a half months on HRT and lightly buzzed on unspecified substances when I realized that that that narrative has shifted: I wish I could go back in time and give myself a hug. I wish I could tell that poor, confused, terrified boy-shaped girl that she had nothing to fear coming out of the closet, that her parents would accept her with open arms and that it would be the greatest decision she ever made. I wish I could be her shoulder to cry on. I wish I could be the sort of support I didn't know I needed back then. She was terrified. Of course she'd lash out. I no longer hate who I used to be. That girl is finally getting the self-love she couldn't find within herself when she needed it the most.
I got my first tattoo when I was 18 and my second through fifth tattoos three months ago. My first tattoo was a cancer ribbon and the next four were card suits. I love all of them. I still haven't dyed my hair though. But I have considered shaving my head.
As soon as you said "I love and care abouty 17yo self" I started crying. Whenever I think of a younger version of me, I feel the urge to hug and protect her. I felt that deeply.
omg same, I am relieved I turned out to be the person who would have protected 17 year old me had I had the chance but I can do that by respecting the choices that she had to make with what little knowledge, life experience and burdens she had to face.
Speaking of obligation, you are not obligated to share this part of your life with all of us, Hank, but I'm so grateful that you've decided to. It's been a real honor to hear your thoughts through this incredibly difficult process, and I can't express how much your hope and optimism revitalizes me every day.
Agreed, but also I feel like cancer treatment is one of those things we don’t talk about so I genuinely didn’t know a lot about side effects and different types of treatments. I appreciate Hank and John being educators.
This is such a Hank Green way of handling losing your hair. It's something along the lines of choosing to see everything as an opportunity, even when it's not what you wanted, and it always makes me truly joyful.
I went through a lot of trauma as a child and I'm learning how to honor my inner child so I can heal from that. I still feel "cringe" for wanting to do the things I couldn't do as a kid-- play with certain toys, go outside, stuff like that. But honoring who you were is important. They got you here. Everyone raises themselves. Proud of you, Hank, at all ages. Rock that 'hawk
I think we need to give up the notion that we have to stop doing things purely because of age. If someone finds Play Doh relaxing, then why not play with it; if someone finds Duplo easier to use than Lego due to mobility issues, then let them build with it; if someone still enjoys a "children's" programme as an adult, let them watch it; if someone has reading difficulties and finds children's books easier to read, then let them read those books; if someone enjoys video games designed for children, let them play those games; if someone likes drawing but has little skill, let them draw anyway. There are many reasons why someone might enjoy things as an adult that are aimed at children and there's nothing wrong with enjoying those things.
im just now learning how to honor my desires and dreams and not feel guilt over them. just now putting all the pieces together and there's no bigger challenge
I personally am so happy when I indulge my inner child. When I watch cartoons and play with Play Doh and go on the swings. It's not cringe at all. Healing from trauma sucks, being an adult sucks, I know from experience so go play with those toys and go outside, because it'll help with both
Don’t, I watch all of my favourite childhood shows and films. I bought every colour of play doh, colouring books, still read YA fiction and I play the sims 4 because I couldn’t get the sims 3. I even bought a tamagotchi (then I remembered my adhd is the reason I couldn’t use them because the beeping drove me crazy and I forgot they existed without it, plus I always lost them and had to reset). In many ways your inner child is who you really are, and healing from childhood trauma sometimes means doing things that people consider for children because it’s what 5 year old you would’ve wanted or whatever version of you that makes you happiest. If it makes you happy and it’s hurting no one who cares. Only adults think like this, I used to wear exclusively costumes most days from age 5-10, that’s really driven my style choices because I can be emo one day, a bratz doll the next and everything in between. To circle back to obligation, the only thing you owe yourself and your younger self is to be healing and growing
@@hannahk1306 this brings me onto the point that a lot of video games are considered "for children" because of their larger child audience/fan base, even though they could still be fun or relaxing for adults/older people. People who say Minecraft is just 'a children's game' have probably never played it for what it's about, which is it's creative freedom.
"I'm not him, but I love him." Golly Hank, you made this grown man cry. It's easy to forget to forgive and accept your past self in order to appreciate how far you've traveled and grown as a person. I have a hard time forgiving my 17 year old self, and it leads to some serious depression. I will take your words and tattoo it onto my body as a form of daily mantra. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your journey! 🙏
Something that's helped me is to remember that I was doing what I could with the situation and knowledge that I had. Sure, I did less than stellar things, and said things I shouldn't have, but because of that time period, I am who I am now. And while I may not have loved myself in that moment, I love myself as I was, because it's led me to who I am now. And frankly, i'd feel the same about a kid doing the same things I did at the same age - they're doing what they can for their situation and knowledge. If you can't love and forgive your past self, please know that I do.
Something that's helped me is to remember that I was doing what I could with the situation and knowledge that I had. Sure, I did less than stellar things, and said things I shouldn't have, but because of that time period, I am who I am now. And while I may not have loved myself in that moment, I love myself as I was, because it's led me to who I am now. And frankly, i'd feel the same about a kid doing the same things I did at the same age - they're doing what they can for their situation and knowledge. If you can't love and forgive your past self, please know that I do.
"I love a lot of people that don't exist anymore." 😭 All the inner child/teen self-love was already getting me teary-eyed, but that's what broke the dam! Words fail, so I'll have to settle with a simple: Thank you, Hank ❤
“I am not him, but I love him” God, Hank this has me tearing up. Thank you for being so open and honest with all of us on your thoughts and feelings about this entire situation. You have always been a caring and helpful person for your entire career and I’m not surprised at all to see it even more in depth during this time. We love you, Hank and this mohawk is sick as hell. Thank you for all that you do and have done. ♥️♥️
I'm 34 and have been spending a lot of time in therapy lately sobbing about how my younger self would be so disdainful of my current self (who is successful in different ways than my younger self wanted). I've never heard anyone else talk about feeling this way, so thank you, Hank 🥰
@@missbeaussie You probably are in some ways that you either don't see or can't notice. Don't discount yourself! There might be a million ways that you aren't successful, or a million metrics that you want to use that you fall short on, but not successful in *any* way? That would be exceptionally hard to do.
@@missbeaussie I have a lot failures but also a lot of growth. I am struggling to maintain my current level of fitness, but what keeps me going is that I am so far ahead of where I was 3 years. Even if I can only do 20% of my workout, I am still triple where I was 3 years ago and back then I felt more successful for just starting
Wow I was not prepared to be moved the way I was. I was ready to cry thinking that Hank was losing all his hair. Instead I am crying for that wonderful sentiment of a whimsical childhood goal being fulfilled. Hank you life has touched so many. Love the positive energy that you are putting out.
Same and i was annoyed with myself for how emotional I was getting about it (at the beginning) because I knew Hank would be annoyed (not in a mean way) by people getting all weepy over his hair, and then it took such a beautiful turn. Trust the green bros to find and create stories of love and hope anywhere and everywhere.
My mother passed from cancer when I was 10. I always wished I could have asked her these questions. Thank you for giving me some peace Hank, even in this hard time ❤
My mom passed away from cancer last year. One of the photos that my dad said he loved the absolute most and brings me so much joy and heartbreak is a selfie she took in the bathroom- a close up of her face, showing that she was finally regrowing some hair after chemo and it's sticking out and looks kinda goofy, and there is just an absolutely radiant look of joy on her face, just this enormous smile. The very last freeze frame of this video is exactly that photo. Pure delight in your silly hair in spite of everything. I just started crying immediately, thank you so much.
My grandpa is over 90 years old and just moved to the East Coast for what could be the rest of his life (and mine now that I think about it) so it's now a plane ride away every time I wish to spend time with him. I still have a photo of him in a Frenchy artist's type hat making a face posing next to a monkey at the zoo. That will always be among the peak moments I will remember having with him. Thanks for helping me grieve and love gracefully.
Hey - I know I'm just an internet stranger, but your comment made me cry as well. I totally understand why that photo would be one of the best in the world. So much love to you, your dad and your mom as well, I am glad she loved the regrown fluff!
you just brought back a lot of memories- I lost my mom as well (to leukemia)~ she was diagnosed when I was away for school and when I came back she had already started chemo and I could tell she was so unsure of what to do about her hair ~ together we bit the bullet and I shaved it the same day I got home I'm pretty sure. I did her makeup and we took all types of photos in a pseudo studio we made in the bathroom..she even posted them to facebook bc of how much she liked them...one of my favorite memories during that time for sure...sending you love from across the internet ❤
I'm 37. I was chuckling along with this video until you said, "I love him." about your 17-year-old self. Now I'm crying into my lunch. 🥺🥺 The mohawk looks great, Hank! ❤ Congratulations to all of your previous, current, and future selves. Punk never dies! 🤘🏻
same 😭 and then I really thought about 17 year old me for the first tme in 15 years and it was a real emotional rollercoaster. Thank you Hank for taking me there.
I am also crying into my lunch now. I really appreciate the way you say things, Hank; you tell the truth with such emotion. This video was well done, and well said, and you look great.
Man... this video was emotional. You threw a curveball. You knew what we all expected and you took the opportunity to instead demonstrate compassion to yourself and others. Amazing work.
It's brilliant alright. Yeah. I thought this was going to be a full on, depressingly valedictory cancer pate shaving, too. I feel so connected, right now! Way to 'make lemonade'! Time overdue to revisit the Mohawk hairstyle dream? Chemo gives the perfect opportunity! Tonight - I like being human.
I think I know why Hank's cancer journey means so much to me. My grandmother never let us in. It was her cancer journey and her right to do it her way. But it hurt me too. Hank, thank you so much. More than I can explain. Thank you for letting us in.
I'm currently going through something similar. Just yesterday, I found out that my aunt has an aggressive form of cancer that she chose to keep private for a while. The generous estimate is that she has about 2 months left. I have a large family with genetics predisposed to aggressive cancers, so this isn't the first time something like this has happened. It's not going to be the last. But it never hurts any less. To see Hank handle his cancer journey openly and with a level of optimism (at least outwardly) that was previously unknown to me is unbelievably helpful. He doesn't owe us any of what he has told us, but I am nonetheless grateful for it.
Why am I crying over a Mohawk? My goodness. We love you Hank. You’ve been helping to shape me into a better person since I was 15 and you’re still doing it today, just a few weeks shy of my 26th birthday. We love you.
"I care about and love a lot of people who don't exist anymore" - that got me. So many people and versions of people in my life and myself. I feel no obligation but the love remains.
This made me cry so much! What a beautiful way to honor yourself and your inner teen. Loving people who don't exist is complicated and truly at the core of our humanity. I'm so glad 43 yr old Hank has the mohawk of his 17 yr old dreams. You are a model of success in so many ways!
I started out sad/overwhelmed crying, but was happy crying by the end. All the love in the world for Hank. ngl tho, I half-expected him to have like Pizza John or a Hanklerfish shaved into his hair under that hankschannel beanie.
The bit about still loving 20 year old Kathrine made me almost bawl my eyes out. It put into words so many emotions I have about my own current relationship of 8 years (some of the most formative 8 years you can have, too: from 12 to 20 years old) and have been struggling to verbalize.
The person I am in love has opened up to me about their childhood and their past. And the feeling I got, was that I love 10-year old them, I love 18 year old them, I love 25-year old them, 27-year old them... I've never met these versions of them, but I still know them. I understand them. And they deserve love. Never seen anyone else put it into words before.
Second the crying. This is an insanely beautiful message and concept of growth and healing (and in your case also hopefully kicking cancers ass). Thank you for sharing ths and as always holding continuity of Hank Green while simultaneously becoming not this Hank Green
Hank is a ray of sunshine. He had concerns about losing his hair but he turned those fears into a joyful moment of expression for his younger self. You would rock any hairdo, Hank, but that mohawk looks amazing on you. Never stop being you :)
"I am a story that I tell to myself." Thank you for that, Hank. You are a treasure to the whole world, and to me. Shine on, be awesome. I am privileged to have been here. ❤
I went through chemo a couple years ago. I've never been bothered by the idea of eventually going bald, and I knew it would happen, but the first time I took a shower and pulled out a clump of hair it was still a blow. Stay strong, brother
So this isn’t chemo but I had always wanted to try going bald or like a buzz cut, but when I started losing my hair because of malnutrition (long story) I was really freaked out. I feel like it’s not the going bald that’s the problem, but the reason that can be so upsetting.
same. I was ok with losing my hair until it actually fell out. as a woman your hair is part of your self-expression, and thats something I didn't realize until that day. I sobbed for an hour
From a 22-year-old who's feeling so sure, determined, and underestimating the ever-changing paths in front of him, thank you for you Hank for this humbling message
I’m watching this as a 17 year old scared to (but about to) turn 18, and your words were so comforting. Even though I’ll never be 17 year old me again, I’ll still love 17 year old me, and 18 year old me and beyond is going to be learning and having so many more experiences. It’s so amazing that you’re able to continue putting out content and makes lives better through this diagnosis and change in your life, and I (and many others I’m sure) are praying for a quick recovery.
Hey, soon to be 20 year old here! Turning 18 is scary and exciting and so many things at once. Actually it´s less the turning 18 thing and more the changes that frequently happen in that year of one´s life: moving out, having to take on so many adult responsibilities. But it´s also great to have a lot more freedom and control over your life. Hopefully you have a good social net to rely on for the difficult parts of adult life that you may need some help with at first. And other than that: Enjoy the freedom! Try stuff out! Experience stuff!
just turned 29 here! it’s not a scary as you think and it honestly just gets better and better as you learn more about yourself~! be present every moment!!
At 17, we make 18 feel much more significant and life changing than it is. On your 18th birthday, you’ll wake up, and you’ll still be you. Growth and change doesn’t happen overnight on our birthdays; it’s a never ending moment that lasts your entire life. You’ll find yourself in new places, with new people, doing new things, but at the end of the day, you are still you. Happy early birthday. Things will be great.
I turned 61 this year--and while I look back and love the me I used to be--at 7, at 18, in my 20s and each decade since, I can tell you that I love the me I am today even more--and look forward to continuing to grow in that love every moment of every day I have left. There's still so much of the world I haven't experienced yet!
This is a beautiful sentiment. As a transgender man I often struggle with reconciling my past self, who I was years ago before I transitioned, and I’ve been working through a similar thought process to the one you’ve described so succinctly in this video. “What do you owe your past self?” Is a difficult question to answer. Lately I’ve been reframing it as “what did my past self need that he didn’t get?” In essence it’s almost the same question, but I like it more because it brings that really big question back down to earth, into something a little more concrete. it gives me ideas of something actionable I can do to process a piece of my life that I have complicated and often shameful feelings towards. Back then I needed compassion and support, and I didn’t get it. So I try to honor my past by giving those things to my current self. This video really struck a chord with me. Thank you for making it. ❤
Trans girl here, in the middle of the transition process and in the thick of those same big complicated questions. I'm halfway between who I thought I was and who I want to be, and I don't really know either of those people? It's just... y'know, it's nice to hear the perspective of someone who's already come out the other side of that particular journey, and be reminded that things can and do get easier 🙂❤
Non-binary person here, and thank you both so much for commenting. I just started coming out a couple years ago, and my brain is full of complicated messy thoughts about the notion of "self"... Nice to hear the perspective of others, and wishing you all the best.
as a trans guy who is about to celebrate being 1 year into my transition, this video reminded me to appreciate all of the things past me went through to get me here, to make sure that i am healing myself now, and sending love and hope to a future version of me who will have gotten current me through another year
Thank you for sharing this. Different background (child trauma victim/survivor), but constantly going through a similar process. Reconciling different parts of different identities and making it more wonderful than you could imagine is a HARD game. I only recently got to this whole compassionate-focussed, “honouring what your past self did or did not to to survive” stuff and all I can say is….I hope you’re giving yourself everything you need to treat yourself well and do that honouring work. Honestly in some ways tougher than the rest of the junk to wade through.
I love this. I'm 17 and feeling lost and afraid of my future, and this gives me hope. I hope I can be a 40 year old version of myself and still be able to smile, no matter what my life looks like. Thanks Hank and John, you're truly an inspiration
As a 25 year old who has also been lost and afraid for quite some time, I've just recently come into my own and fully understand the most important truth there is. Authenticity is the absolute most important thing you can have. That means being self aware, which also means seeing your faults, admitting when you're wrong or misinformed, actively trying to do better, and allowing others to do the same. You can't grow if you try to pretend you know everything, or even anything at all. The best thing you can do for yourself is to travel if you can and experience new people. I read something the other day that said the only reality we have is our own perspective. Which basically means that we can consciously or subconsciously create how we perceive the world, and there is no "right" way to do that. If you want some real, life-altering advice on how to be present and true to yourself, I HIGHLY suggest listening to Rick Ruben's interview on the Jay Shetty podcast. It genuinely changed me as a person and an artist ❤ Good luck in your growth, just be true to your core beliefs and be open to listening to others.
As a 43yo one of the most important things I could say to you now is to look after your health, including your teeth! At your age unless you are unfortunate enough to have a major health problem already, it's very easy to think you don't need to worry about that stuff and you can just do whatever you want. You're probably going to be moving out of your parents house so there won't be anyone to tell you to do it so you have to be that person for yourself. If you don't get into good habits now, even though it doesn't seem important, you will regret it later! I know I do!
Few of us had a clue of what to do with ourselves at that age, except dealing with those teenage impulses and complicated thoughts. Those who thought they knew who they were, turned out to be something different. Very few ended up following their projected path, and some of those found they didn't want it once they got it. Be good to yourself and those you love. If you need help, ask. The future is scary, but it is also filled with amazing things that you cant yet imagine.
I'm almost 40 now, and the one thing that's stuck with me most was a mentor at work who told me (when I was around 25 actually) that no matter what I was facing, I would face it. I wouldn't know how I was going to do it until I did it, and sometimes I'd make dumb decisions. But I'd manage to face everything that life threw at me, and I'd figure it out. I didn't get that then, but I think I get it now - as I live through yet another radical upheaval of what I thought my life would be. Life's weird that way - but I want to pass that along. I can't say "It'll get better" (because inevitably some times will be better and some times will be worse). But I can say that no matter what you're facing, you'll face it. You'll figure it out the best way you know how. And even if you make dumb decisions, you'll face those too. You don't have to know what you're doing, and even if you think you know what you're doing, life will still surprise you. You'll surprise yourself too.
This means a lot. Recently both my grandparents (my legal guardians from 6-15) died. I couldn’t see them myself and bury them because they lived in a place I couldn’t go to and get back safely. And I think about that a lot. I’ve lost a core part of myself and my life’s meaning and together with the guilt the pain can be unbearable. Sometimes little things you two brothers say in your videos suddenly gives me some warmth, so I appreciate that…
Did I cry watching this? Yes. Did I also start laughing once I realised what Hank was doing? Also yes. Feeling all the emotions and sending so much love your way Hank!
Sobbing in my car on my way to work. I just want you to know you are so deeply cared for and loved by this community. Your wisdom and strength is unparalleled. I hope you’re feeling as decent as you can and that it’s a beautiful day outside. Take care, Hank ❤
Hi Hank, I discovered that I had cancer sooner than you. Due to complication, my chemo schedule is similar to you. I had my second chemo just a few days different from yours. Several years ago, I told my best friend and my partner that I wanted to shave my head at least once in my life. I just want to free myself from all standards, obligations or expectations. And now here I am. I did it last week. Feeling good and fabulous 😊
As a 21-year-old in university who had a traumatic childhood and is in now a better place but doesn't really know what to do with their life, this video means a lot to me. I'm not entirely sure I still want to do what I wanted to do in college, and I get upset thinking about my past younger self, knowing that I can't change what happened to her. But your video has made me realise that while I can't change what happened, it's not too late, she still exists. She's me. And I'm still here. I'm alive, and I survived. I can still take care of her because I am her. All those past versions of me still exist as the current version of me. And whatever I want is also what they want. Thank you for helping me realise that change is okay, and everything will be okay. Wishing you all the best on this no doubt difficult journey Hank, thank you for being you❤️
I’m 25 and finally figuring out what I want to do. I won’t be done with school until I’m 27 and that’s okay. You are allowed to change your mind as often as you need.
"I am a story that I tell to myself" hit me so hard. When I'm feeling down and tell myself that my past actions were stupid, cringe-worthy, and that I should have known better and acted more mature, the me of the past isn't there to defend herself. It's my word against hers, and if she only exists in a self-deprecating tirade of insults and superiority, then who's to say that isn't exactly who she is? I've come to this realization recently, and I've slowly forgiven myself for the dumb situations I got myself into, the silly videos I made with my friends, and the fashion choices that may have lacked a bit of self-awareness. Because really, if it comes down to me vs. my past self, shouldn't we be working together? I will one day become a version of her separated only by a few degrees of time. I haven't had a way to express this sentiment so beautifully until now. I am a story that I tell to myself.
This is why journalling is just so good I think. I don't know what 17 year old me was thinking because I'm not 17 year old me, but his writings might at least give me an idea of who he was, who I was once. It's just going back a few chapters because the one you're in feels confusing.
The only way we can reflect on life is by forming a narrative. If we cannot see how inadequate, superficial and contrived that is, we will be become consumed by the stories we create about ourselves. We are not capable of fully grasping the meaning of our lives and who we truly are.
@@ph-vf5hx I have been wracking my brain trying to figure out who tf I am. I’m most likely overthinking it. My younger self had as little self-confidence as present self does. I doubt that she would be defending me. Hard to say
@@SugarandSarcasm Perhaps your younger self would hear what you've been through and realise that, despite it all, you're still here: You've managed to hold on throughout all the storms, all the wind and wild waves. You've survived it all. She'd admire your tenacity and wish you calmer seas for the days yet to come.
As someone with alopecia, I almost cried at this video. That little clip where you pull your hair and end up with a tuft in your hand is something I've experienced many times over the years. I miss my hair. You're right, I don't owe anything to the younger me. I can definitely miss her hair though haha. The Mohawk looks great!
Me, to, except I was crying throughout the video. I absolutely love Hank & John Green and have been a mess of worry during this time. I was also diagnosed with a painful type of scarring alopecia, called lichen planopilaris, about 6 months ago. When Hank pulled that tuft of hair out it felt very familiar and heart wrenching, because that's what my hair is currently doing. It's incredibly messy so I've thought about shaving it off quite a few times, but then I remember that this is probably the last time I will ever see these gorgeous curls on my head. For now the curls are hiding most of my bald spots but that won't always be the case. I'm so sad that Hank is having to fight cancer and lose his hair. 🥺Really hoping his treatments are 100% successful and look forward to watching his excitement when that red hair starts to grow back again. ❤
This honestly made me tear up. I'm only 25 but even now I'm feeling obligations to my "former self" who I'm worried about having "lost", and your approach to the situation was so touching and so beautiful it really opened my eyes. And Hank, you have nothing to worry about, the mohawk looks awesome, I'm sure even moreso than it would've on your 17-year-old self.
my family scattered my dad’s ashes today-he died of non-hodgekins in 2004 (it took us a while to be ready). thank you for reminding me how human he was, and how many versions of him there were. i knew 32-35 year old him, but i hope 17 year old him felt honored today, too.
This was fantastic, Hank. I was diagnosed stage IV Lymphoma in Nov 2020. When the time came I just shaved it all off. I wish I had thought to own it the way you did here. Best of luck friend. Looking back, my entire cancer experience was not as bad as the worst things I imagined, and much of it was merely very inconvenient and not horrible. I hope it is the same for you.
It’s not as bad as I thought it would be either. But I’m grateful for my hairdresser for shaving my head when I was shedding like a German shepherd in spring. That seemed harder than the mastectomy 😂
This 40yo version of myself loves the 16yo version of myself way more than I actually did back then. And telling myself „you were a pretty awesome human back then“ retroactively heals so much. You’re rocking this haircut, Hank (despite all the sucky circumstances it’s caused by) and the 17yo version of you applauds you.
I thought you said no crying Hank! That also means you can’t make us cry with your beautiful words. Thank you for allowing us to be on this journey with you.
“I am just a story I tell myself about myself.” Wow. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, Hank. I’m generally a Nerdfighteria lurker, but the way you have chosen to tell yourself this incredible story about yourself inspired me to comment and be more connected. Sending you much love ❤
Hank, that was genuinely beautiful. I'm 31, and I gave up on my 5-year old self's dream of being a scientist when I was 20. Or, I thought I did. My job title as of last month is Scientist (and we're not done growing). You were one of the people that convinced me that it was possible. Thank you.
Hey. I am also just another random person on the internet, but I just wanted to tell you how much your comment means to me. Nearly exactly one year ago I had to bury my dream to turn my hobby of being a volunteer firefighter into a job because of medical reasons. The whole story is quite a bit more complicated, which is why I still follow that "hobby" and passion as a volunteer. But your comment gave me a little bit of hope that maybe, someday I'll be able to make it. So, from the bottom of my heart: thank you so much!
@bastiankunz4585 sometimes you have to take the scenic route. I dropped out of college with academic probation on my record, but I came back older and much more prepared. I hope you get there, and I wish you all the luck and resolve it will take!
I didn’t start college until I was 29 and now I’m 31 trying to become a dietitian. Food science is such a passion of mine and I didn’t know it until I was almost 30. Sometimes I wonder if it’s too late, but it’s NEVER too late to follow your dreams. I just couldn’t figure out what mine was, until now 😊 it’s so nice to read other people’s stories!
I was ready to cry watching Hank get his head shaved. But instead I had happy tears from the wonderful sentiment of loving your past selves. Thank you, Hank, for sharing this with us. I hope you are feeling as well as possible. We love you, Hank!
I think it’s wild, strange, and absolutely beautiful so many generations are all healing, at one time, in one place, because of two brothers who trusted and had hope enough in this world to share their raw selves with us. ❤ you two are changing the world in so many more ways than you realize.
As a fellow 43 year old who loved Rancid and Op Ivy in his younger years this made me feel a lot of feelings. Most of them good. Good luck on your treatment and recovery Hank.
I had a mohawk in high school but couldn't bring myself to shave the whole thing like I wanted to. On my 30th birthday last year I let my 13 year old shave my head bald because I always wanted to feel what it felt like to be totally hair free as a woman. This video made me bawl. It's nice to know that other people have similar experiences, and there is something magical about seeing other people honor themselves in these ways. You are such a special soul Hank Green. Thank you for sharing this moment with all of us.
@YANAKLARI BAL DROGO you don't know anything about this person's life except the short paragraph you just read and yet you feel you have the right to judge their life decisions?
@@yanaklaribaldrogo7467 Somehow, I suspect young or single fathers don't have this sort of BS thrown at them. You don't have to be old, or wealthy, or married or whatever to be a decent parent, so stop judging this person based on their age and gender and instead ponder whether they're a loving, kind and responsible parent. Those are the things that matter.
@@yanaklaribaldrogo7467 Can't go back, only forward! I did get knocked up while rocking a mohawk though, so maybe @hankschannel needs fair warning to be SUPER DUPER CAREFUL with that thing 🤣
Watching this on Father’s Day, my father passed away 2 years ago from a 20 year long fight with brain cancer, listening to your words conjures all kinds of emotions, not least that you are a genuinely wonderful and inspiring person who is now going through the experience of cancer, and knowing I too would have thought having a Mohawk at 40 would be a sign you’d ‘made it’ outside the ‘normal’ system, makes me emote with you even more. So many emotions. Live your life the way you want to, because you owe it to that 17 year old version of yourself in so many ways. You are the best, Hank. Sending you my love x
What blows my mind the most is that past John and Hank made videos that encouraged past me just as much as current John and Hank encourage current me. You both are so wonderful in a way I’ll never be able to express properly.
Both brothers are so lucky to have each other. As someone in the same age range of Hank also going through cancer, but alone, this kindness and support John gives and Hank's eloquence to describe the emotions of cancer make me tear up
Many years ago I commented on a Vlogbrothers video that Hank's voice sounds like a warm hug. That continues to be true and it is amazing. It is amazing that as he goes through this challenging and frightening time in his own life, Hank still manages to reach out through the airwaves and give this community a big warm hug. The kind that says even if we're sad, we're all going to be alright. So thanks, once again, for that.
This video touched me in ways I did not anticipate and no other TH-cam video ever has. As a young punk struggling with my 30+ year old self I feel I took a piece of your story and made it mine. Thank you Hank for being everyone’s anchor on the internet. You are facing a huge struggle and still provide us with the message and guidance we need. There’s no one like you.
oh hank. the place you hold in this community is so important. every part of this journey so far has had me so choked up. were all on a journey of meaning apparently!
I cannot imagine a better representation of adulthood than what you and John have been providing for us all. Thank you so much for being the best role models and sharing as much as you do with us. I am so happy to have the two of you to look up to.
These guys just out here making the world so much more freaking wholesome❤ seriously I’m crying and I mean it. It’s so beautiful to love one’s self and all of the people one has been this way.
im not a huge video commenter but this one Really stuck with me. recently i have truly noticed how much i've progressed from when i was younger, specifically around dealing with mental health struggles and just the general state of being transgender, and also how proud they would be of me. i'm doing things young alex never thought they could do, and i'm doing things for them they never got the chance to do. it's an incredibly powerful and healing thing and this video really struck a cord with me. i know you won't see this, but you and your videos have been with me as long as i can remember, thank you for doing what you do
Never would I have guessed that I would watch a video of a grown man get a mohawk and cry but here we are. Thank you for your willingness to share this journey with us and your beautiful insistence on bringing light everywhere you go.
Right now, I am a scared 22 year old who really tries to be kind, even though it's difficult to do sometimes. Hank and John, you are a source of warmth and comfort to so many people. You make the world brighter and less scary, and you have given so much knowledge and passion to so many people. Including me.
I’m not sure I understand why it’s hard to be kind. It’s not hard to be kind. What is hard is staying kind and in peace with yourself, when others are cruel and mean to you. If I could offer some advise, as someone who is much older than you, but has been through your age, with not so kind people around me. Know that you are brave enough to be who you are. Mean people are lucky to have known you. If you don’t want to, those people don’t have to be in your circle when you can manage to get out of the situation you are in. You will be surrounded by people who appreciate you if you stay true to yourself, and take control of your own life.
Know that being kind, doesn't mean being a doormat. You can respect yourself enough to look out for you first. Saying No to doing something you don't want to do, doesn't make you not kind. Every situation is different. You will learn how to navigate through them all. The sooner the better. Someone cuts you off, dont get in front of them and brake check them. Show empathy. Smile at homeless so they know they are seen. Say a few words. For some people it's hard to put yourself in their shoes like with mental health problems, situations etc, dont brush them off. Someone in line is taking to long to pay, reassure them that it's not a bother. Offer help. You don't need to be a people pleaser or a doormat to be kind.
I knew I was going to cry when the haircut video happened, but somehow it’s even more than what I thought. Love you Hank. Thank you for honoring 17 year old Hank.
I love how the video ends with Hank smiling, looking at his hair. Him and John have always been such positive forces through the years, and it shows how you must make the most of the hand you were dealt. It kind of reminds me with my dog. She was diagnosed with a rare stomach cancer that is inoperable, in January. Nonetheless, (to her vet’s discontent) she will go under the knife because of a cyst under her “armpit” that makes it hard to walk. She is 13, and may not wake up from anesthesia. Thank you, Hank, for making it a little more easy to deal with the problems in life.
hey i know your situation is way different but my 3-legged, four year old idiot just got a benign tumor removed from his side. i was so worried, but he was absolutely fine. and while your dog might not be, i just want you to know that i can empathize with a tiny bit of it and i'm rooting for you, and her
As a college student whose high school experience consisted of an insurmountable amount of crash course videos, 17 year old Hank, 20 something Hank, 30 something Hank, and Hank today should be proud. We love you.
Love you guys. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at 16. My family helped me shave my head as i was losing hair due to chemo. We tried all kinds of hairstyles before hand which was fun and stupid at the same time. This reminded so much of that period in my life. A difficult and painful one, but exeptionally insightful transition. Im so thankful for you and your family. Keep going, you are being born again. God bless
@@Jayden-j7d im sorry to hear about your grandpa. You must have loved him very much. I'm doing good thank you for asking. I have been in remission for 17 years now. I am 33 now. Time fly's really fast. Still have to do check ups every few years just to make sure nothing comes up on my remaining right ovary. I am exceptionally grateful to be alive. Wishing you the best
Do you remember which hairstyle (or style adjacent hair) you eventually settled on when you were facing the big push? What did you go with? Or was there a sequence where the style got more and more imaginative over several iterations?
This video brought me back to ten years ago when I was losing my hair (telogen effluvium after TSS) and how I never settled on which crazy semi-shaved hairstyle I wanted to go with. In the end I just wore beanies for months, because I waited too long. The power and bravery in Hank's haircut really got to me.
@@batintheattic7293 it was sorta a spur of the moment thing. I woke up one morning to find my pillow covered in hair after some chemo sessions. I had developed a bald spot within days. It was like a reality check and I broke down sobbing. This existential fear was now manifest. So my mum and sis sat me on the bath rim and we all started a sequence of 'attempted' hairstyles. Mind you were no hairdressers. Haha. From shaggy cuts to bobs and bangs. My sister asking ' wait did Cleopatra have bangs? Did ancient people have bangs?', then an attempted pixie cut, cause my mum liked twiggy. Then buzzcut the last remaining hair. This was a very freeing experience. I think more so for my family, cause they could join in and bring some light and laughter into my heart. Then I wore beanies cause with no hair on your head gets cold fast, I hope hank gets some nice beanies
This is beautiful. The world loves you, Hank Green. Every iteration of you since you and John began sharing your brilliant, funny, wonderful selves with the world online. I think I speak for many when I say that the way you're handling your diagnosis and treatment with such grace and bravery is inspiring. This iteration of you isn't just "43-year-old Cancer Hank"; he's someone to love just as you love "17-year-old Punk Hank", because sooner than you know you'll evolve into the next Hank and this part of your identity will just be an experience to remember from the past. When it is, we'll still be here anxious to learn what new fascinating thing you have to teach us about pelicans! 💖
As someone who has been around in Nerdfighteria for over 10 years, I’m so glad to see this little dream come to fruition!!! Nice going 17 yr old Hank 🫶🏻
Hank, this honestly made me cry. When you said “because I love that guy” it just felt like cold water. All I could picture is myself when I was 17 and how I loved that person too, and that she was valid in her likes, dislikes, wants, and needs. And it’s okay that I’m not that person anymore, but acknowledging that she was important and she mattered just really made me tear up badly. Because we forget to be kind to ourselves so often. We can be so rough with our own perceptions of ourselves - but if I just imagine I’m talking to me 15 years younger, I would want to hug her. You and your brother never cease to reach into my heart and squeeze it (metaphorically- and in a good way. A thoughtful way) and I just love you both so much for sharing and doing all that you do. For yourselves, for each other, and for humanity as a whole. We love you both. And we should love ourselves too ♥️♥️
This made me tear up. My brother had thyroid cancer when he was 20 (took it like a champ!). I saw his life and our experiences flash before my eyes when he went into surgery. This video warms my hearts immensely. It reminded me how we can become older without giving up our essence; we just grow. So, thanks for that. And thanks for being a sort of beacon of hope and humanity, even through adversity. You inspire me. Thank you, Hank. And thanks, John.
i am 18 years old at the moment and sobbing over this video, i hope 34 year old me can think about current me with the same love you do. thank you for all you do
I just had this conversation recently with my best friend because we saw a picture of our 17-year-old selves side by side and our reactions were an instant uproar of "oh gosh" and "I like the people we were." Congratulations, your obligation to yourself looks awesome. You actually Didn'tForgetToBeAwesome.
I had a double mastectomy as part of my cancer treatment and prevention. There are times when I look at the mirror and see 17 year old me, and now 38 year old me. Two fundamentally different people, yet forever connected and intertwined. There are no words for how profound this feeling is, but you’ve managed to find some of them. And for this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I love this take on self reflection, where you literally are both that person and not. I try to be an adult who'd not only live up to my childhood self's dreams and expectations, but who'd also be the person who would make that person feel loved and safe.
Oh, Hank. This was beautiful. 17 year old Hank would have thought you cool before but I bet that inner child is so pumped to have a mohawk. I'm in tears, and they're both happy and sad. You are so loved by those whose lives you've touched, and we are all rooting for you! ❤
Here I am. Sitting here watching this video, bawling, because I didn't realize how much left over disdain, or resistance, I have for my former self. Thank you Hank. Thank you and good luck on this journey. I'm rooting for you!
im 22 and watching this, and this year my dad was diagnosed with stage four cancer. my 12 year old self watched your videos, hank, and they always made me feel joy, if even for only four minutes. thank you for being so open with this because despite all the progress we’ve made, people still get weird and quiet when you bring up cancer. it’s hard, it’s one of the hardest things to go through. but you, still being here, still making videos that make me think, make me feel joy, and remind me to be kind to myself, makes a huge difference. it made a difference when i was 12 and it does now. also, the mohawk looks sick 🙌
All the best to you and your dad. I hope whatever good that can happen does, and whatever bad that has to happen is had with friends and family around you.
Dear Hank, To me, this video tells me something about you. You have no idea how big of a deal you are, nor how devoted your fans and collaborators are. You're a very important spoke, on the wheel of science communication. Your work has inspired untold numbers of people into STEM, while bringing other science communicators and public information networks together. You're constantly trying to find new ways of helping people, to do more and more. Its not something I could do, it's not something 99.999% of people could do. But you did it, hard work and luck on your side you did it. So, if anyone has the accumulated goodwill and reputation to rock a 5-color Sims 3 style warhawk into a very professional life, it's you. If there was anyone to find a way to make such a hairstyle somehow help people or spread a message, i think you'd find a way to do that too. You are adored in an admittedly parasocial way by more people than you could ever know by fringe scientists on the edge to five year olds who like hearing you talk about dinosaurs. You rock the hawk, and we'll be with you.
I'm 37 and I've been fortunate enough to have a lot of jobs where my hair did not matter. I've got a mohawk today and hope to have one on and off until my hair inevitably gives up. This is good stuff. You don't own your former self anything, but maybe sometimes, its nice to remind ourselves who we used to be and celebrate the best parts of that person.
Hank, I wanted to thank you for being a source of wisdom throughout your carrier here on TH-cam. You are one of the only creators to whom I knew I could forever look up to and not be disappointed and now I know why that is; Be it 17 yo you or 43 yo you, you were always authentic and true to yourself( and others for that matter). I believe this stems from the genuine care and kindness at your core, and I appreciate that. Keep safe and take care of yourself ❤❤❤❤
Very powerful to hear someone earnestly say that the person they once were was good and kind. It's not something we commonly accept about ourselves. Rock on, every version of Hank. You did it.
Only Hank Green could turn something scary like losing your hair to chemo into something wildly beautiful. Thank you, Hank, you have really blessed us all today. And you look GREAT with a Mohawk! Seriously though, you look phenomenal with a Mohawk!
As someone who's trans and grew up in a cult, there's a lot of dissonance between me and my 17-year-old self, and I have a hard time loving them. I have a hard time even liking any of my past selves, so conscious of how they're just "worse" versions of who I am now. Thank you for inspiring compassion in me for all those confused, well-meaning mes.
I wasn't in a cult, but I can definitely relate to the trans experience. 17 year-old me was trying her hardest to be a boy, to hide from these confusing feelings that something was deeply wrong. I can't bring myself to _like_ who I was then, but I at least try to make peace with her.
I'm not trans nor did I grow up in a cult, but younger me did and said a lot of things that I'm not proud of, and on at least that level I can relate. Its important to think of those past versions of you as containing at least some amount of good, and you know that they did because eventually they turned into you.
That 17 year old kid shaped themself in order to survive in that environment, and surviving is always an act of love for your future self. You can’t love the things that kid stood for-but they survived to become you, and that is a beautiful and worthy thing.
@@liritalyric Thank you for reminding me that kids are shaped, and shape themselves, in response to their environment in order to survive. But especially, for "surviving is an act of love for your future self". Just by Hank bringing up his love for his 17 year old self, he's got people thinking. Got me thinking.
Damn “I have no obligation to my younger self, but I love them, care about them.” is so profound. 18 Year old me was optimistic, confused, scared, impressionable, and craved community & love, he flew across the world to find it after graduating highschool. I'm 26 now, learnt some incredible life lessons by just being open to trying new things and I have that young man to thank, I wouldn't be who I am without him. It wasn't all positive, but it builds resilience, and the connections I make now are healthy because I know what unhealthy looks like. I hope he would be happy about what I'm doing for us now too.
I'm at my horrible job, watching this right now with my eyes brimming with tears, this was a really timely thing for me to hear in my current situation. Going through crises definitely makes you reflect on who you are and where in the universe you fit into.
Never in my life did I imagine that I would be literally crying over a mohawk! My mom and you have a really similar chemo schedule btw. So it's oddly comforting to see two of my most favourite persons being connected by the same thread. 💜✨
I did this too Hank. I decided that I wanted to lose my hair by *my choice* and I sent it to wigs for kids. It was really empowering before I went into chemo. You’re awesome. Keep being awesome. You’ll get through this. From…18 year survivor.
Thank you much Hank for still doing so much for all of us. You and John have made the internet a warmer, better, kinder, and more intelligent place for so many of us. I hope you feel all the love you’ve poured into this community coming back to you. And, of course, don’t forget to be awesome (which you always are). Thank you so much. Sending good energy and lots of care your way
Hank I just... appreciate you so much... the fact that you are using this event in your life as a way to talk about difficult topics while honoring the past versions of ourselves without feeling intense obligation to them. That's so beautiful. For anyone who this video touched on a soul level, do yourself a favor and look in to inner child work.
I love the idea of loving the 17 year old version of yourself. It's so hard to be kind to yourself at present, and I usually feel like cringing at my former self. But I love that you gave yourself permission to do something that would have your teenage self very happy. I love the mohawk, for as long as you have it!
You are not him, but he is still you. However large of a part you let him be at any given time, and giving a larger part to him in moments like this is beautiful and inspiring. Thank you for sharing
FEELS A LITTLE WEIRD TO ADVERTISE ON THIS VIDEO but Hank ordered me to do so: The Awesome Socks Club is accepting new memberships, which only happens a couple times a year. Great socks designed by independent artists, and all the profit goes to charity: awesomesocks.club -John
The socks must flow- Hank
Advertising the Awesome Socks Club on Hank's channel is more welcome than 99.99% of advertisements that happen AT ALL, which speaks to the amazing community and awesome head that started and sustains it all. Let the socks flow. ❤
Stay strong Hank and John. 💪
W bag king why do are my eyes wet
Just signed up so it clearly was worth the advertisement! DFTBA
Congratulations to 17-year-old and 43-year old Hank, you did it! ✊🎉🎈
And every single Hank in between!
That video made me cry
CHOCOLATE RAIN!!!!! 🍫 🌧️
TAY! THE GOOD WORD OF THE MUSICMAN HAS RESURFACED. HES BACK!
@@F1st26 *SOME STAY DRY AND OTHERS FEEL THE PAIN*
Hank, facing presumably the hardest challenge of his life, somehow still manages to be a ray of sunshine in an otherwise gloomy world, even if he doesn't feel as such. Thank you, Hank.
Yes, thank you!
If Hank Green was a Lantern Corp Lantern, he'll definitely be a Blue one. He's the walking embodiment of hope.
I hope this is the hardest challenge he ever does face. That this is it. That it all goes as the doctors now expect, he is cured, and it is over. And clean sailing from there. Good health for him and everyone he loves until he's a very old man.
This. Thank you, Hank! Sending so much love to you
“I have no obligation to my younger self, but I love them, care about them.” That idea pierced my heart ❤ Thanks, Hank
Yeah. I linked this to a dear friend of mine and I said in preamble: 'There's a thing that happens when you care about someone going through a crucible, that you know they'll have insights that are more poignant than you might have the spoons to want to experience, but you respect the journey, because there but for the grace of grace, go we.' Got up in my feels for this one, glad I watched.
I actually realized I hit a pretty big milestone in my relationship with my younger self recently. Like, I would venture, most trans people my relation with the person I was before I transitioned is complicated to say the least, but long story short I was an absolute terror during my high school years. I was every negative stereotype of a high school atheist/communist/art kid you can think of rolled into one human-shaped time bomb. I never got physical but I got into regular screaming matches with my teachers, other students (my civics teacher is probably still recovering from me,) the administrators, my parents, basically everyone. I was not pleasant, my grades were middling to abysmal, and I was basically ideologically opposite but otherwise alike in every way to Ben Shapiro. I used to joke a lot about how I wish I could go back in time and shove my high school self into a locker.
I was about three end a half months on HRT and lightly buzzed on unspecified substances when I realized that that that narrative has shifted: I wish I could go back in time and give myself a hug. I wish I could tell that poor, confused, terrified boy-shaped girl that she had nothing to fear coming out of the closet, that her parents would accept her with open arms and that it would be the greatest decision she ever made. I wish I could be her shoulder to cry on. I wish I could be the sort of support I didn't know I needed back then. She was terrified. Of course she'd lash out. I no longer hate who I used to be. That girl is finally getting the self-love she couldn't find within herself when she needed it the most.
@@tjenadonn6158 🫂🫂🫂
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This is just a reminder of why I did my tattos at age 27, and died my hair pink at age 32. We never stop being those people.
I got my first tattoo when I was 18 and my second through fifth tattoos three months ago. My first tattoo was a cancer ribbon and the next four were card suits. I love all of them.
I still haven't dyed my hair though. But I have considered shaving my head.
i got my first tattoo when I was 27 too!
@repentandbelieveinJesusChrist1Repent for what?
@@fullshewolf They are a bot.
I think he is right that you don't OWE that person anything, but I still try to do things I think would delight her when I can.
As soon as you said "I love and care abouty 17yo self" I started crying. Whenever I think of a younger version of me, I feel the urge to hug and protect her. I felt that deeply.
Same! I started to tear up and wasn’t expecting it at all
Me, too. And that's awkward during a stolen break at work!
omg same, I am relieved I turned out to be the person who would have protected 17 year old me had I had the chance but I can do that by respecting the choices that she had to make with what little knowledge, life experience and burdens she had to face.
♥
SAME; he got me.
Speaking of obligation, you are not obligated to share this part of your life with all of us, Hank, but I'm so grateful that you've decided to. It's been a real honor to hear your thoughts through this incredibly difficult process, and I can't express how much your hope and optimism revitalizes me every day.
Agreed, but also I feel like cancer treatment is one of those things we don’t talk about so I genuinely didn’t know a lot about side effects and different types of treatments. I appreciate Hank and John being educators.
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This is such a Hank Green way of handling losing your hair. It's something along the lines of choosing to see everything as an opportunity, even when it's not what you wanted, and it always makes me truly joyful.
He is nothing if not On Brand!
As is John giving his little brother a Mohawk.
@@tbella5186i dont think thats John.
It’s not John, John’s hair is more grey and unless something has changed I don’t believe John has a tattoo on his arm
@Jeseabell Ah yes, I see the tattoos, that would not be on brand for John
I went through a lot of trauma as a child and I'm learning how to honor my inner child so I can heal from that. I still feel "cringe" for wanting to do the things I couldn't do as a kid-- play with certain toys, go outside, stuff like that. But honoring who you were is important. They got you here. Everyone raises themselves. Proud of you, Hank, at all ages. Rock that 'hawk
I think we need to give up the notion that we have to stop doing things purely because of age. If someone finds Play Doh relaxing, then why not play with it; if someone finds Duplo easier to use than Lego due to mobility issues, then let them build with it; if someone still enjoys a "children's" programme as an adult, let them watch it; if someone has reading difficulties and finds children's books easier to read, then let them read those books; if someone enjoys video games designed for children, let them play those games; if someone likes drawing but has little skill, let them draw anyway. There are many reasons why someone might enjoy things as an adult that are aimed at children and there's nothing wrong with enjoying those things.
im just now learning how to honor my desires and dreams and not feel guilt over them. just now putting all the pieces together and there's no bigger challenge
I personally am so happy when I indulge my inner child. When I watch cartoons and play with Play Doh and go on the swings. It's not cringe at all. Healing from trauma sucks, being an adult sucks, I know from experience so go play with those toys and go outside, because it'll help with both
Don’t, I watch all of my favourite childhood shows and films. I bought every colour of play doh, colouring books, still read YA fiction and I play the sims 4 because I couldn’t get the sims 3. I even bought a tamagotchi (then I remembered my adhd is the reason I couldn’t use them because the beeping drove me crazy and I forgot they existed without it, plus I always lost them and had to reset). In many ways your inner child is who you really are, and healing from childhood trauma sometimes means doing things that people consider for children because it’s what 5 year old you would’ve wanted or whatever version of you that makes you happiest. If it makes you happy and it’s hurting no one who cares. Only adults think like this, I used to wear exclusively costumes most days from age 5-10, that’s really driven my style choices because I can be emo one day, a bratz doll the next and everything in between. To circle back to obligation, the only thing you owe yourself and your younger self is to be healing and growing
@@hannahk1306 this brings me onto the point that a lot of video games are considered "for children" because of their larger child audience/fan base, even though they could still be fun or relaxing for adults/older people. People who say Minecraft is just 'a children's game' have probably never played it for what it's about, which is it's creative freedom.
"I'm not him, but I love him." Golly Hank, you made this grown man cry. It's easy to forget to forgive and accept your past self in order to appreciate how far you've traveled and grown as a person. I have a hard time forgiving my 17 year old self, and it leads to some serious depression. I will take your words and tattoo it onto my body as a form of daily mantra. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your journey! 🙏
This is such a resonant comment. Thank you. I feel the same about accepting, and for me, loving my younger selves.
Something that's helped me is to remember that I was doing what I could with the situation and knowledge that I had. Sure, I did less than stellar things, and said things I shouldn't have, but because of that time period, I am who I am now. And while I may not have loved myself in that moment, I love myself as I was, because it's led me to who I am now.
And frankly, i'd feel the same about a kid doing the same things I did at the same age - they're doing what they can for their situation and knowledge.
If you can't love and forgive your past self, please know that I do.
Something that's helped me is to remember that I was doing what I could with the situation and knowledge that I had. Sure, I did less than stellar things, and said things I shouldn't have, but because of that time period, I am who I am now. And while I may not have loved myself in that moment, I love myself as I was, because it's led me to who I am now.
And frankly, i'd feel the same about a kid doing the same things I did at the same age - they're doing what they can for their situation and knowledge.
If you can't love and forgive your past self, please know that I do.
"I love a lot of people that don't exist anymore." 😭 All the inner child/teen self-love was already getting me teary-eyed, but that's what broke the dam! Words fail, so I'll have to settle with a simple: Thank you, Hank ❤
“I am not him, but I love him” God, Hank this has me tearing up. Thank you for being so open and honest with all of us on your thoughts and feelings about this entire situation. You have always been a caring and helpful person for your entire career and I’m not surprised at all to see it even more in depth during this time. We love you, Hank and this mohawk is sick as hell. Thank you for all that you do and have done. ♥️♥️
"I am just a story that I tell to myself" is exactly the words I needed to hear today.
I'm 34 and have been spending a lot of time in therapy lately sobbing about how my younger self would be so disdainful of my current self (who is successful in different ways than my younger self wanted). I've never heard anyone else talk about feeling this way, so thank you, Hank 🥰
My younger self would have loved to be successful in any way and I'm not so good on you ❤
@@missbeaussie You probably are in some ways that you either don't see or can't notice. Don't discount yourself! There might be a million ways that you aren't successful, or a million metrics that you want to use that you fall short on, but not successful in *any* way? That would be exceptionally hard to do.
@@jacobw.6744 thank you ❤
I love how you phrased that. Successful in different ways doesn’t mean failure, even if it wasn’t originally what we envisioned for ourselves
@@missbeaussie I have a lot
failures but also a lot of growth. I am struggling to maintain my current level of fitness, but what keeps me going is that I am so far ahead of where I was 3 years. Even if I can only do 20% of my workout, I am still triple where I was 3 years ago and back then I felt more successful for just starting
Wow I was not prepared to be moved the way I was. I was ready to cry thinking that Hank was losing all his hair. Instead I am crying for that wonderful sentiment of a whimsical childhood goal being fulfilled. Hank you life has touched so many. Love the positive energy that you are putting out.
Same.
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I love your name. I am also the most cold.
These little obligations to our younger selves exist in healing our inner child. And that's really what this felt like to me. ❤
Same and i was annoyed with myself for how emotional I was getting about it (at the beginning) because I knew Hank would be annoyed (not in a mean way) by people getting all weepy over his hair, and then it took such a beautiful turn. Trust the green bros to find and create stories of love and hope anywhere and everywhere.
My mother passed from cancer when I was 10. I always wished I could have asked her these questions. Thank you for giving me some peace Hank, even in this hard time ❤
My mom passed away from cancer last year. One of the photos that my dad said he loved the absolute most and brings me so much joy and heartbreak is a selfie she took in the bathroom- a close up of her face, showing that she was finally regrowing some hair after chemo and it's sticking out and looks kinda goofy, and there is just an absolutely radiant look of joy on her face, just this enormous smile. The very last freeze frame of this video is exactly that photo. Pure delight in your silly hair in spite of everything. I just started crying immediately, thank you so much.
My grandpa is over 90 years old and just moved to the East Coast for what could be the rest of his life (and mine now that I think about it) so it's now a plane ride away every time I wish to spend time with him.
I still have a photo of him in a Frenchy artist's type hat making a face posing next to a monkey at the zoo. That will always be among the peak moments I will remember having with him. Thanks for helping me grieve and love gracefully.
@sams.975 - Hugs and condolences. And I started crying at the end of this, too.
Hey - I know I'm just an internet stranger, but your comment made me cry as well. I totally understand why that photo would be one of the best in the world. So much love to you, your dad and your mom as well, I am glad she loved the regrown fluff!
This threat combined made me teary eyed. Thank you all for sharing stories and love
you just brought back a lot of memories- I lost my mom as well (to leukemia)~ she was diagnosed when I was away for school and when I came back she had already started chemo and I could tell she was so unsure of what to do about her hair ~ together we bit the bullet and I shaved it the same day I got home I'm pretty sure. I did her makeup and we took all types of photos in a pseudo studio we made in the bathroom..she even posted them to facebook bc of how much she liked them...one of my favorite memories during that time for sure...sending you love from across the internet ❤
We are so proud of you, you have come so far from not knowing how to wear a lanyard to inspire and educate all of us! 💜
I'm 37. I was chuckling along with this video until you said, "I love him." about your 17-year-old self. Now I'm crying into my lunch. 🥺🥺 The mohawk looks great, Hank! ❤ Congratulations to all of your previous, current, and future selves. Punk never dies! 🤘🏻
same
that's exactly the part that got me.
same 😭 and then I really thought about 17 year old me for the first tme in 15 years and it was a real emotional rollercoaster. Thank you Hank for taking me there.
I am also crying into my lunch now. I really appreciate the way you say things, Hank; you tell the truth with such emotion. This video was well done, and well said, and you look great.
I'm glad I'm not the only one. Instant waterworks at that line. 😭
Man... this video was emotional. You threw a curveball. You knew what we all expected and you took the opportunity to instead demonstrate compassion to yourself and others. Amazing work.
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It's brilliant alright. Yeah. I thought this was going to be a full on, depressingly valedictory cancer pate shaving, too. I feel so connected, right now! Way to 'make lemonade'! Time overdue to revisit the Mohawk hairstyle dream? Chemo gives the perfect opportunity!
Tonight - I like being human.
I think I know why Hank's cancer journey means so much to me. My grandmother never let us in. It was her cancer journey and her right to do it her way. But it hurt me too. Hank, thank you so much. More than I can explain. Thank you for letting us in.
I'm currently going through something similar. Just yesterday, I found out that my aunt has an aggressive form of cancer that she chose to keep private for a while. The generous estimate is that she has about 2 months left. I have a large family with genetics predisposed to aggressive cancers, so this isn't the first time something like this has happened. It's not going to be the last. But it never hurts any less.
To see Hank handle his cancer journey openly and with a level of optimism (at least outwardly) that was previously unknown to me is unbelievably helpful. He doesn't owe us any of what he has told us, but I am nonetheless grateful for it.
i’ve never cried to a timelapse of a haircut before but this proved that there’s a first for everything
I'm with you, brother. I'm in office too lmao
Same
Same 😢
Why am I crying over a Mohawk? My goodness. We love you Hank. You’ve been helping to shape me into a better person since I was 15 and you’re still doing it today, just a few weeks shy of my 26th birthday. We love you.
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I'm crying too! Happy birthday! I hope it is fabulous! 🎉
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I’m glad I’m not the only one. ❤
“I am just a story I tell to myself”
My mantra from now on. Hank, thanks for being the role model I never had but so desperately needed
Honestly such a great quote. I love it.
💕💕💕💕
"I care about and love a lot of people who don't exist anymore" - that got me. So many people and versions of people in my life and myself. I feel no obligation but the love remains.
This made me cry so much! What a beautiful way to honor yourself and your inner teen. Loving people who don't exist is complicated and truly at the core of our humanity. I'm so glad 43 yr old Hank has the mohawk of his 17 yr old dreams. You are a model of success in so many ways!
I was not expecting to cry and then around 2:32 my jaw just dropped and my eyes started watering and it was game over
I started out sad/overwhelmed crying, but was happy crying by the end. All the love in the world for Hank.
ngl tho, I half-expected him to have like Pizza John or a Hanklerfish shaved into his hair under that hankschannel beanie.
The bit about still loving 20 year old Kathrine made me almost bawl my eyes out. It put into words so many emotions I have about my own current relationship of 8 years (some of the most formative 8 years you can have, too: from 12 to 20 years old) and have been struggling to verbalize.
♡
My husband and I have been married for over 30 years, and I had the very same reaction as you. I'm all choked up.
Wow 12 to 20! That’s a rom com waiting to be made ❤
The person I am in love has opened up to me about their childhood and their past. And the feeling I got, was that I love 10-year old them, I love 18 year old them, I love 25-year old them, 27-year old them... I've never met these versions of them, but I still know them. I understand them. And they deserve love. Never seen anyone else put it into words before.
Sobbing right now. I’m 17, and this video is making me actually cry so hard. You are an awesome human being. One of the best we got.
Second the crying. This is an insanely beautiful message and concept of growth and healing (and in your case also hopefully kicking cancers ass). Thank you for sharing ths and as always holding continuity of Hank Green while simultaneously becoming not this Hank Green
This video was filled with so many heartfelt statements that hit to the core. “I am a story that I tell to myself about myself.”
Hank is a ray of sunshine. He had concerns about losing his hair but he turned those fears into a joyful moment of expression for his younger self. You would rock any hairdo, Hank, but that mohawk looks amazing on you. Never stop being you :)
"I am a story that I tell to myself."
Thank you for that, Hank. You are a treasure to the whole world, and to me. Shine on, be awesome.
I am privileged to have been here. ❤
This. ❤
You are a story that we tell too
“He was a good guy, he became me. and I feel like i was given an opportunity this week to honor him”
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As someone who is going through a divorce and battling cancer... this really meant a lot to me and resonated on a primal level. Thank you.
I went through chemo a couple years ago. I've never been bothered by the idea of eventually going bald, and I knew it would happen, but the first time I took a shower and pulled out a clump of hair it was still a blow. Stay strong, brother
So this isn’t chemo but I had always wanted to try going bald or like a buzz cut, but when I started losing my hair because of malnutrition (long story) I was really freaked out. I feel like it’s not the going bald that’s the problem, but the reason that can be so upsetting.
same. I was ok with losing my hair until it actually fell out. as a woman your hair is part of your self-expression, and thats something I didn't realize until that day. I sobbed for an hour
@@carolinedunn4091It’s so hard. I finished chemo in February. It’s traumatizing. Cancer is traumatizing. Wishing you well 💜
From a 22-year-old who's feeling so sure, determined, and underestimating the ever-changing paths in front of him, thank you for you Hank for this humbling message
@YANAKLARI BAL DROGO POOP DRAWER?!
21 and on top of it.
God, same.
I’m watching this as a 17 year old scared to (but about to) turn 18, and your words were so comforting. Even though I’ll never be 17 year old me again, I’ll still love 17 year old me, and 18 year old me and beyond is going to be learning and having so many more experiences. It’s so amazing that you’re able to continue putting out content and makes lives better through this diagnosis and change in your life, and I (and many others I’m sure) are praying for a quick recovery.
Hey, soon to be 20 year old here! Turning 18 is scary and exciting and so many things at once. Actually it´s less the turning 18 thing and more the changes that frequently happen in that year of one´s life: moving out, having to take on so many adult responsibilities. But it´s also great to have a lot more freedom and control over your life. Hopefully you have a good social net to rely on for the difficult parts of adult life that you may need some help with at first. And other than that: Enjoy the freedom! Try stuff out! Experience stuff!
just turned 29 here! it’s not a scary as you think and it honestly just gets better and better as you learn more about yourself~! be present every moment!!
At 17, we make 18 feel much more significant and life changing than it is. On your 18th birthday, you’ll wake up, and you’ll still be you. Growth and change doesn’t happen overnight on our birthdays; it’s a never ending moment that lasts your entire life. You’ll find yourself in new places, with new people, doing new things, but at the end of the day, you are still you.
Happy early birthday. Things will be great.
I turned 61 this year--and while I look back and love the me I used to be--at 7, at 18, in my 20s and each decade since, I can tell you that I love the me I am today even more--and look forward to continuing to grow in that love every moment of every day I have left. There's still so much of the world I haven't experienced yet!
24 year old here (as of posting this comment) and the world doesn't end after you turn 18 even though it might feel like it will
Oh God this is a tear-jerker. Thank you Hank for the intellectual legacy of your current and "dumber" selves. I've learned a lot from them all.
This is a beautiful sentiment. As a transgender man I often struggle with reconciling my past self, who I was years ago before I transitioned, and I’ve been working through a similar thought process to the one you’ve described so succinctly in this video. “What do you owe your past self?” Is a difficult question to answer. Lately I’ve been reframing it as “what did my past self need that he didn’t get?” In essence it’s almost the same question, but I like it more because it brings that really big question back down to earth, into something a little more concrete. it gives me ideas of something actionable I can do to process a piece of my life that I have complicated and often shameful feelings towards. Back then I needed compassion and support, and I didn’t get it. So I try to honor my past by giving those things to my current self. This video really struck a chord with me. Thank you for making it. ❤
Trans girl here, in the middle of the transition process and in the thick of those same big complicated questions. I'm halfway between who I thought I was and who I want to be, and I don't really know either of those people? It's just... y'know, it's nice to hear the perspective of someone who's already come out the other side of that particular journey, and be reminded that things can and do get easier 🙂❤
Non-binary person here, and thank you both so much for commenting. I just started coming out a couple years ago, and my brain is full of complicated messy thoughts about the notion of "self"... Nice to hear the perspective of others, and wishing you all the best.
as a trans guy who is about to celebrate being 1 year into my transition, this video reminded me to appreciate all of the things past me went through to get me here, to make sure that i am healing myself now, and sending love and hope to a future version of me who will have gotten current me through another year
Thank you for sharing this.
Different background (child trauma victim/survivor), but constantly going through a similar process.
Reconciling different parts of different identities and making it more wonderful than you could imagine is a HARD game. I only recently got to this whole compassionate-focussed, “honouring what your past self did or did not to to survive” stuff and all I can say is….I hope you’re giving yourself everything you need to treat yourself well and do that honouring work.
Honestly in some ways tougher than the rest of the junk to wade through.
This, so much this. "What did my past self need that he didn't get?" is a beautiful way of putting it. Thank you.
I love this. I'm 17 and feeling lost and afraid of my future, and this gives me hope. I hope I can be a 40 year old version of myself and still be able to smile, no matter what my life looks like. Thanks Hank and John, you're truly an inspiration
Hey kid. If there's one thing i wish i could have told my 17 year old self, its that it gets better. Because it truly does. Be brave, be kind. ❤
As a 25 year old who has also been lost and afraid for quite some time, I've just recently come into my own and fully understand the most important truth there is. Authenticity is the absolute most important thing you can have. That means being self aware, which also means seeing your faults, admitting when you're wrong or misinformed, actively trying to do better, and allowing others to do the same. You can't grow if you try to pretend you know everything, or even anything at all. The best thing you can do for yourself is to travel if you can and experience new people. I read something the other day that said the only reality we have is our own perspective. Which basically means that we can consciously or subconsciously create how we perceive the world, and there is no "right" way to do that. If you want some real, life-altering advice on how to be present and true to yourself, I HIGHLY suggest listening to Rick Ruben's interview on the Jay Shetty podcast. It genuinely changed me as a person and an artist ❤ Good luck in your growth, just be true to your core beliefs and be open to listening to others.
As a 43yo one of the most important things I could say to you now is to look after your health, including your teeth! At your age unless you are unfortunate enough to have a major health problem already, it's very easy to think you don't need to worry about that stuff and you can just do whatever you want. You're probably going to be moving out of your parents house so there won't be anyone to tell you to do it so you have to be that person for yourself. If you don't get into good habits now, even though it doesn't seem important, you will regret it later! I know I do!
Few of us had a clue of what to do with ourselves at that age, except dealing with those teenage impulses and complicated thoughts. Those who thought they knew who they were, turned out to be something different. Very few ended up following their projected path, and some of those found they didn't want it once they got it. Be good to yourself and those you love. If you need help, ask. The future is scary, but it is also filled with amazing things that you cant yet imagine.
I'm almost 40 now, and the one thing that's stuck with me most was a mentor at work who told me (when I was around 25 actually) that no matter what I was facing, I would face it. I wouldn't know how I was going to do it until I did it, and sometimes I'd make dumb decisions. But I'd manage to face everything that life threw at me, and I'd figure it out. I didn't get that then, but I think I get it now - as I live through yet another radical upheaval of what I thought my life would be. Life's weird that way - but I want to pass that along. I can't say "It'll get better" (because inevitably some times will be better and some times will be worse). But I can say that no matter what you're facing, you'll face it. You'll figure it out the best way you know how. And even if you make dumb decisions, you'll face those too. You don't have to know what you're doing, and even if you think you know what you're doing, life will still surprise you. You'll surprise yourself too.
This means a lot. Recently both my grandparents (my legal guardians from 6-15) died. I couldn’t see them myself and bury them because they lived in a place I couldn’t go to and get back safely. And I think about that a lot. I’ve lost a core part of myself and my life’s meaning and together with the guilt the pain can be unbearable. Sometimes little things you two brothers say in your videos suddenly gives me some warmth, so I appreciate that…
Did I cry watching this? Yes. Did I also start laughing once I realised what Hank was doing? Also yes. Feeling all the emotions and sending so much love your way Hank!
Sobbing in my car on my way to work. I just want you to know you are so deeply cared for and loved by this community. Your wisdom and strength is unparalleled. I hope you’re feeling as decent as you can and that it’s a beautiful day outside. Take care, Hank ❤
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Sobbing in my car on my lunch break
@@handsoap3346sobbing in my car bc this was the last video i listened to on my way home from work
Hi Hank, I discovered that I had cancer sooner than you. Due to complication, my chemo schedule is similar to you. I had my second chemo just a few days different from yours. Several years ago, I told my best friend and my partner that I wanted to shave my head at least once in my life. I just want to free myself from all standards, obligations or expectations. And now here I am. I did it last week. Feeling good and fabulous 😊
Awesome!
That sounds awesome❤ i know you look amazing and We all know youre gonna beat this, you got this!!🙌
It gets better. This is a beatable cancer. Good luck to you ❤🇨🇦❤
Well-wishes for you, fellow nerdfighter
As a 21-year-old in university who had a traumatic childhood and is in now a better place but doesn't really know what to do with their life, this video means a lot to me. I'm not entirely sure I still want to do what I wanted to do in college, and I get upset thinking about my past younger self, knowing that I can't change what happened to her. But your video has made me realise that while I can't change what happened, it's not too late, she still exists. She's me. And I'm still here. I'm alive, and I survived. I can still take care of her because I am her. All those past versions of me still exist as the current version of me. And whatever I want is also what they want. Thank you for helping me realise that change is okay, and everything will be okay. Wishing you all the best on this no doubt difficult journey Hank, thank you for being you❤️
I’m 25 and finally figuring out what I want to do. I won’t be done with school until I’m 27 and that’s okay. You are allowed to change your mind as often as you need.
@@manonanne276 im 21 and this means a lot, super scared cos i dont know what to do
"I am a story that I tell to myself" hit me so hard. When I'm feeling down and tell myself that my past actions were stupid, cringe-worthy, and that I should have known better and acted more mature, the me of the past isn't there to defend herself. It's my word against hers, and if she only exists in a self-deprecating tirade of insults and superiority, then who's to say that isn't exactly who she is? I've come to this realization recently, and I've slowly forgiven myself for the dumb situations I got myself into, the silly videos I made with my friends, and the fashion choices that may have lacked a bit of self-awareness. Because really, if it comes down to me vs. my past self, shouldn't we be working together? I will one day become a version of her separated only by a few degrees of time. I haven't had a way to express this sentiment so beautifully until now. I am a story that I tell to myself.
This is why journalling is just so good I think. I don't know what 17 year old me was thinking because I'm not 17 year old me, but his writings might at least give me an idea of who he was, who I was once. It's just going back a few chapters because the one you're in feels confusing.
The only way we can reflect on life is by forming a narrative. If we cannot see how inadequate, superficial and contrived that is, we will be become consumed by the stories we create about ourselves. We are not capable of fully grasping the meaning of our lives and who we truly are.
You have a character arc! And growth!
@@ph-vf5hx I have been wracking my brain trying to figure out who tf I am. I’m most likely overthinking it.
My younger self had as little self-confidence as present self does. I doubt that she would be defending me. Hard to say
@@SugarandSarcasm Perhaps your younger self would hear what you've been through and realise that, despite it all, you're still here: You've managed to hold on throughout all the storms, all the wind and wild waves. You've survived it all. She'd admire your tenacity and wish you calmer seas for the days yet to come.
20 year old me didn't think there would ever be a 30 year old me, but here I am. Thanks for being a big part of my decade Hank.
I'm so glad you are here! DFTBA!
As someone with alopecia, I almost cried at this video. That little clip where you pull your hair and end up with a tuft in your hand is something I've experienced many times over the years. I miss my hair.
You're right, I don't owe anything to the younger me. I can definitely miss her hair though haha.
The Mohawk looks great!
Me, to, except I was crying throughout the video. I absolutely love Hank & John Green and have been a mess of worry during this time. I was also diagnosed with a painful type of scarring alopecia, called lichen planopilaris, about 6 months ago. When Hank pulled that tuft of hair out it felt very familiar and heart wrenching, because that's what my hair is currently doing. It's incredibly messy so I've thought about shaving it off quite a few times, but then I remember that this is probably the last time I will ever see these gorgeous curls on my head. For now the curls are hiding most of my bald spots but that won't always be the case. I'm so sad that Hank is having to fight cancer and lose his hair. 🥺Really hoping his treatments are 100% successful and look forward to watching his excitement when that red hair starts to grow back again. ❤
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This honestly made me tear up. I'm only 25 but even now I'm feeling obligations to my "former self" who I'm worried about having "lost", and your approach to the situation was so touching and so beautiful it really opened my eyes. And Hank, you have nothing to worry about, the mohawk looks awesome, I'm sure even moreso than it would've on your 17-year-old self.
my family scattered my dad’s ashes today-he died of non-hodgekins in 2004 (it took us a while to be ready). thank you for reminding me how human he was, and how many versions of him there were. i knew 32-35 year old him, but i hope 17 year old him felt honored today, too.
That is so beautiful. I hope the day was full of love and happy memories for you and your family
This was fantastic, Hank. I was diagnosed stage IV Lymphoma in Nov 2020. When the time came I just shaved it all off. I wish I had thought to own it the way you did here. Best of luck friend. Looking back, my entire cancer experience was not as bad as the worst things I imagined, and much of it was merely very inconvenient and not horrible. I hope it is the same for you.
This is a very nice comment. Glad to hear you're doing well.
It’s not as bad as I thought it would be either. But I’m grateful for my hairdresser for shaving my head when I was shedding like a German shepherd in spring. That seemed harder than the mastectomy 😂
This 40yo version of myself loves the 16yo version of myself way more than I actually did back then. And telling myself „you were a pretty awesome human back then“ retroactively heals so much.
You’re rocking this haircut, Hank (despite all the sucky circumstances it’s caused by) and the 17yo version of you applauds you.
I thought you said no crying Hank! That also means you can’t make us cry with your beautiful words. Thank you for allowing us to be on this journey with you.
“I am just a story I tell myself about myself.” Wow. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, Hank. I’m generally a Nerdfighteria lurker, but the way you have chosen to tell yourself this incredible story about yourself inspired me to comment and be more connected. Sending you much love ❤
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Hank, that was genuinely beautiful. I'm 31, and I gave up on my 5-year old self's dream of being a scientist when I was 20. Or, I thought I did. My job title as of last month is Scientist (and we're not done growing). You were one of the people that convinced me that it was possible. Thank you.
❤❤❤❤
you rock!
Hey. I am also just another random person on the internet, but I just wanted to tell you how much your comment means to me. Nearly exactly one year ago I had to bury my dream to turn my hobby of being a volunteer firefighter into a job because of medical reasons. The whole story is quite a bit more complicated, which is why I still follow that "hobby" and passion as a volunteer. But your comment gave me a little bit of hope that maybe, someday I'll be able to make it.
So, from the bottom of my heart: thank you so much!
@bastiankunz4585 sometimes you have to take the scenic route. I dropped out of college with academic probation on my record, but I came back older and much more prepared. I hope you get there, and I wish you all the luck and resolve it will take!
I didn’t start college until I was 29 and now I’m 31 trying to become a dietitian. Food science is such a passion of mine and I didn’t know it until I was almost 30. Sometimes I wonder if it’s too late, but it’s NEVER too late to follow your dreams. I just couldn’t figure out what mine was, until now 😊 it’s so nice to read other people’s stories!
I was ready to cry watching Hank get his head shaved. But instead I had happy tears from the wonderful sentiment of loving your past selves. Thank you, Hank, for sharing this with us. I hope you are feeling as well as possible. We love you, Hank!
I think it’s wild, strange, and absolutely beautiful so many generations are all healing, at one time, in one place, because of two brothers who trusted and had hope enough in this world to share their raw selves with us. ❤ you two are changing the world in so many more ways than you realize.
OH MY GOD YOU GOT TO DO IT (cancer sucks, but it's great to see the smile on your face at the end)
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As a fellow 43 year old who loved Rancid and Op Ivy in his younger years this made me feel a lot of feelings. Most of them good. Good luck on your treatment and recovery Hank.
Well said. And same, on all accounts.
I had a mohawk in high school but couldn't bring myself to shave the whole thing like I wanted to. On my 30th birthday last year I let my 13 year old shave my head bald because I always wanted to feel what it felt like to be totally hair free as a woman. This video made me bawl. It's nice to know that other people have similar experiences, and there is something magical about seeing other people honor themselves in these ways. You are such a special soul Hank Green. Thank you for sharing this moment with all of us.
@yanaklaribaldrogo7467 bro, read the room. Hank and John's channel is a place of positivity, and not whatever it is you think you're selling.
That's really cool that you shared that experience with your teen!
@YANAKLARI BAL DROGO you don't know anything about this person's life except the short paragraph you just read and yet you feel you have the right to judge their life decisions?
@@yanaklaribaldrogo7467 Somehow, I suspect young or single fathers don't have this sort of BS thrown at them. You don't have to be old, or wealthy, or married or whatever to be a decent parent, so stop judging this person based on their age and gender and instead ponder whether they're a loving, kind and responsible parent. Those are the things that matter.
@@yanaklaribaldrogo7467 Can't go back, only forward! I did get knocked up while rocking a mohawk though, so maybe @hankschannel needs fair warning to be SUPER DUPER CAREFUL with that thing 🤣
Watching this on Father’s Day, my father passed away 2 years ago from a 20 year long fight with brain cancer, listening to your words conjures all kinds of emotions, not least that you are a genuinely wonderful and inspiring person who is now going through the experience of cancer, and knowing I too would have thought having a Mohawk at 40 would be a sign you’d ‘made it’ outside the ‘normal’ system, makes me emote with you even more. So many emotions. Live your life the way you want to, because you owe it to that 17 year old version of yourself in so many ways. You are the best, Hank. Sending you my love x
What blows my mind the most is that past John and Hank made videos that encouraged past me just as much as current John and Hank encourage current me. You both are so wonderful in a way I’ll never be able to express properly.
This!! I know what you mean- I’ve been following along for sooo long now and you’ve put into words what I felt.
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Both brothers are so lucky to have each other. As someone in the same age range of Hank also going through cancer, but alone, this kindness and support John gives and Hank's eloquence to describe the emotions of cancer make me tear up
Hope you get better soon..
Hey, I know I'm just a random stranger on the internet, but I just want you to know that I'm rooting for you and wishing you a complete recovery!
You've got this!
I'm also rooting for you
Wishing you the best!
Many years ago I commented on a Vlogbrothers video that Hank's voice sounds like a warm hug. That continues to be true and it is amazing. It is amazing that as he goes through this challenging and frightening time in his own life, Hank still manages to reach out through the airwaves and give this community a big warm hug. The kind that says even if we're sad, we're all going to be alright.
So thanks, once again, for that.
This video touched me in ways I did not anticipate and no other TH-cam video ever has. As a young punk struggling with my 30+ year old self I feel I took a piece of your story and made it mine. Thank you Hank for being everyone’s anchor on the internet. You are facing a huge struggle and still provide us with the message and guidance we need. There’s no one like you.
oh hank. the place you hold in this community is so important. every part of this journey so far has had me so choked up. were all on a journey of meaning apparently!
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We're on this journey of meaning together 💕
I cannot imagine a better representation of adulthood than what you and John have been providing for us all. Thank you so much for being the best role models and sharing as much as you do with us. I am so happy to have the two of you to look up to.
These guys just out here making the world so much more freaking wholesome❤ seriously I’m crying and I mean it. It’s so beautiful to love one’s self and all of the people one has been this way.
im not a huge video commenter but this one Really stuck with me. recently i have truly noticed how much i've progressed from when i was younger, specifically around dealing with mental health struggles and just the general state of being transgender, and also how proud they would be of me. i'm doing things young alex never thought they could do, and i'm doing things for them they never got the chance to do. it's an incredibly powerful and healing thing and this video really struck a cord with me. i know you won't see this, but you and your videos have been with me as long as i can remember, thank you for doing what you do
Never would I have guessed that I would watch a video of a grown man get a mohawk and cry but here we are. Thank you for your willingness to share this journey with us and your beautiful insistence on bringing light everywhere you go.
Right now, I am a scared 22 year old who really tries to be kind, even though it's difficult to do sometimes.
Hank and John, you are a source of warmth and comfort to so many people. You make the world brighter and less scary, and you have given so much knowledge and passion to so many people. Including me.
I’m a scared 17 year old, and you know what? We’re in this together.
I’m not sure I understand why it’s hard to be kind. It’s not hard to be kind. What is hard is staying kind and in peace with yourself, when others are cruel and mean to you. If I could offer some advise, as someone who is much older than you, but has been through your age, with not so kind people around me. Know that you are brave enough to be who you are. Mean people are lucky to have known you. If you don’t want to, those people don’t have to be in your circle when you can manage to get out of the situation you are in. You will be surrounded by people who appreciate you if you stay true to yourself, and take control of your own life.
Know that being kind, doesn't mean being a doormat. You can respect yourself enough to look out for you first. Saying No to doing something you don't want to do, doesn't make you not kind. Every situation is different. You will learn how to navigate through them all. The sooner the better.
Someone cuts you off, dont get in front of them and brake check them.
Show empathy.
Smile at homeless so they know they are seen. Say a few words.
For some people it's hard to put yourself in their shoes like with mental health problems, situations etc, dont brush them off.
Someone in line is taking to long to pay, reassure them that it's not a bother.
Offer help.
You don't need to be a people pleaser or a doormat to be kind.
I knew I was going to cry when the haircut video happened, but somehow it’s even more than what I thought. Love you Hank. Thank you for honoring 17 year old Hank.
As a person with a lot of teen-years trauma, these words are much more than they seem. Thank you Hank 💚
I love how the video ends with Hank smiling, looking at his hair. Him and John have always been such positive forces through the years, and it shows how you must make the most of the hand you were dealt.
It kind of reminds me with my dog. She was diagnosed with a rare stomach cancer that is inoperable, in January. Nonetheless, (to her vet’s discontent) she will go under the knife because of a cyst under her “armpit” that makes it hard to walk. She is 13, and may not wake up from anesthesia.
Thank you, Hank, for making it a little more easy to deal with the problems in life.
hey i know your situation is way different but my 3-legged, four year old idiot just got a benign tumor removed from his side. i was so worried, but he was absolutely fine. and while your dog might not be, i just want you to know that i can empathize with a tiny bit of it and i'm rooting for you, and her
@@sillygoosetaur thank you, it means a lot :))
As a college student whose high school experience consisted of an insurmountable amount of crash course videos, 17 year old Hank, 20 something Hank, 30 something Hank, and Hank today should be proud. We love you.
Love you guys. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at 16. My family helped me shave my head as i was losing hair due to chemo. We tried all kinds of hairstyles before hand which was fun and stupid at the same time. This reminded so much of that period in my life. A difficult and painful one, but exeptionally insightful transition. Im so thankful for you and your family. Keep going, you are being born again. God bless
Are you alright? My granddad died from cancer since I was 14.
@@Jayden-j7d im sorry to hear about your grandpa. You must have loved him very much. I'm doing good thank you for asking. I have been in remission for 17 years now. I am 33 now. Time fly's really fast. Still have to do check ups every few years just to make sure nothing comes up on my remaining right ovary. I am exceptionally grateful to be alive. Wishing you the best
Do you remember which hairstyle (or style adjacent hair) you eventually settled on when you were facing the big push? What did you go with? Or was there a sequence where the style got more and more imaginative over several iterations?
This video brought me back to ten years ago when I was losing my hair (telogen effluvium after TSS) and how I never settled on which crazy semi-shaved hairstyle I wanted to go with. In the end I just wore beanies for months, because I waited too long. The power and bravery in Hank's haircut really got to me.
@@batintheattic7293 it was sorta a spur of the moment thing. I woke up one morning to find my pillow covered in hair after some chemo sessions. I had developed a bald spot within days. It was like a reality check and I broke down sobbing. This existential fear was now manifest. So my mum and sis sat me on the bath rim and we all started a sequence of 'attempted' hairstyles. Mind you were no hairdressers. Haha. From shaggy cuts to bobs and bangs. My sister asking ' wait did Cleopatra have bangs? Did ancient people have bangs?', then an attempted pixie cut, cause my mum liked twiggy. Then buzzcut the last remaining hair. This was a very freeing experience. I think more so for my family, cause they could join in and bring some light and laughter into my heart. Then I wore beanies cause with no hair on your head gets cold fast, I hope hank gets some nice beanies
This is beautiful. The world loves you, Hank Green. Every iteration of you since you and John began sharing your brilliant, funny, wonderful selves with the world online. I think I speak for many when I say that the way you're handling your diagnosis and treatment with such grace and bravery is inspiring. This iteration of you isn't just "43-year-old Cancer Hank"; he's someone to love just as you love "17-year-old Punk Hank", because sooner than you know you'll evolve into the next Hank and this part of your identity will just be an experience to remember from the past. When it is, we'll still be here anxious to learn what new fascinating thing you have to teach us about pelicans! 💖
As someone who has been around in Nerdfighteria for over 10 years, I’m so glad to see this little dream come to fruition!!! Nice going 17 yr old Hank 🫶🏻
Hank, this honestly made me cry. When you said “because I love that guy” it just felt like cold water. All I could picture is myself when I was 17 and how I loved that person too, and that she was valid in her likes, dislikes, wants, and needs. And it’s okay that I’m not that person anymore, but acknowledging that she was important and she mattered just really made me tear up badly. Because we forget to be kind to ourselves so often. We can be so rough with our own perceptions of ourselves - but if I just imagine I’m talking to me 15 years younger, I would want to hug her. You and your brother never cease to reach into my heart and squeeze it (metaphorically- and in a good way. A thoughtful way) and I just love you both so much for sharing and doing all that you do. For yourselves, for each other, and for humanity as a whole. We love you both. And we should love ourselves too ♥️♥️
This made me tear up. My brother had thyroid cancer when he was 20 (took it like a champ!). I saw his life and our experiences flash before my eyes when he went into surgery. This video warms my hearts immensely. It reminded me how we can become older without giving up our essence; we just grow. So, thanks for that. And thanks for being a sort of beacon of hope and humanity, even through adversity. You inspire me. Thank you, Hank. And thanks, John.
How is your brother now? Was the surgery succesful?
@@NicolasGarciaLiebermanno
i am 18 years old at the moment and sobbing over this video, i hope 34 year old me can think about current me with the same love you do. thank you for all you do
I just had this conversation recently with my best friend because we saw a picture of our 17-year-old selves side by side and our reactions were an instant uproar of "oh gosh" and "I like the people we were." Congratulations, your obligation to yourself looks awesome. You actually Didn'tForgetToBeAwesome.
I had a double mastectomy as part of my cancer treatment and prevention. There are times when I look at the mirror and see 17 year old me, and now 38 year old me. Two fundamentally different people, yet forever connected and intertwined. There are no words for how profound this feeling is, but you’ve managed to find some of them. And for this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I love this take on self reflection, where you literally are both that person and not.
I try to be an adult who'd not only live up to my childhood self's dreams and expectations, but who'd also be the person who would make that person feel loved and safe.
shut up
Oh, Hank. This was beautiful. 17 year old Hank would have thought you cool before but I bet that inner child is so pumped to have a mohawk. I'm in tears, and they're both happy and sad. You are so loved by those whose lives you've touched, and we are all rooting for you! ❤
Here I am. Sitting here watching this video, bawling, because I didn't realize how much left over disdain, or resistance, I have for my former self. Thank you Hank. Thank you and good luck on this journey. I'm rooting for you!
im 22 and watching this, and this year my dad was diagnosed with stage four cancer. my 12 year old self watched your videos, hank, and they always made me feel joy, if even for only four minutes. thank you for being so open with this because despite all the progress we’ve made, people still get weird and quiet when you bring up cancer. it’s hard, it’s one of the hardest things to go through. but you, still being here, still making videos that make me think, make me feel joy, and remind me to be kind to myself, makes a huge difference. it made a difference when i was 12 and it does now. also, the mohawk looks sick 🙌
All the best to you and your dad. I hope whatever good that can happen does, and whatever bad that has to happen is had with friends and family around you.
Head up Miranda. You’ve got this. :)
Dear Hank, To me, this video tells me something about you. You have no idea how big of a deal you are, nor how devoted your fans and collaborators are. You're a very important spoke, on the wheel of science communication. Your work has inspired untold numbers of people into STEM, while bringing other science communicators and public information networks together. You're constantly trying to find new ways of helping people, to do more and more. Its not something I could do, it's not something 99.999% of people could do. But you did it, hard work and luck on your side you did it. So, if anyone has the accumulated goodwill and reputation to rock a 5-color Sims 3 style warhawk into a very professional life, it's you. If there was anyone to find a way to make such a hairstyle somehow help people or spread a message, i think you'd find a way to do that too. You are adored in an admittedly parasocial way by more people than you could ever know by fringe scientists on the edge to five year olds who like hearing you talk about dinosaurs. You rock the hawk, and we'll be with you.
Beautifully said. And so very true.
Damn bro chill, I was already crying. Lol
I'm 37 and I've been fortunate enough to have a lot of jobs where my hair did not matter. I've got a mohawk today and hope to have one on and off until my hair inevitably gives up. This is good stuff. You don't own your former self anything, but maybe sometimes, its nice to remind ourselves who we used to be and celebrate the best parts of that person.
Hank, I wanted to thank you for being a source of wisdom throughout your carrier here on TH-cam. You are one of the only creators to whom I knew I could forever look up to and not be disappointed and now I know why that is; Be it 17 yo you or 43 yo you, you were always authentic and true to yourself( and others for that matter). I believe this stems from the genuine care and kindness at your core, and I appreciate that. Keep safe and take care of yourself ❤❤❤❤
Very powerful to hear someone earnestly say that the person they once were was good and kind. It's not something we commonly accept about ourselves. Rock on, every version of Hank. You did it.
Only Hank Green could turn something scary like losing your hair to chemo into something wildly beautiful. Thank you, Hank, you have really blessed us all today. And you look GREAT with a Mohawk! Seriously though, you look phenomenal with a Mohawk!
As someone who's trans and grew up in a cult, there's a lot of dissonance between me and my 17-year-old self, and I have a hard time loving them. I have a hard time even liking any of my past selves, so conscious of how they're just "worse" versions of who I am now. Thank you for inspiring compassion in me for all those confused, well-meaning mes.
I wasn't in a cult, but I can definitely relate to the trans experience. 17 year-old me was trying her hardest to be a boy, to hide from these confusing feelings that something was deeply wrong. I can't bring myself to _like_ who I was then, but I at least try to make peace with her.
I'm not trans nor did I grow up in a cult, but younger me did and said a lot of things that I'm not proud of, and on at least that level I can relate. Its important to think of those past versions of you as containing at least some amount of good, and you know that they did because eventually they turned into you.
That 17 year old kid shaped themself in order to survive in that environment, and surviving is always an act of love for your future self. You can’t love the things that kid stood for-but they survived to become you, and that is a beautiful and worthy thing.
thank you for sharing!
@@liritalyric Thank you for reminding me that kids are shaped, and shape themselves, in response to their environment in order to survive. But especially, for "surviving is an act of love for your future self". Just by Hank bringing up his love for his 17 year old self, he's got people thinking. Got me thinking.
Damn “I have no obligation to my younger self, but I love them, care about them.” is so profound.
18 Year old me was optimistic, confused, scared, impressionable, and craved community & love, he flew across the world to find it after graduating highschool.
I'm 26 now, learnt some incredible life lessons by just being open to trying new things and I have that young man to thank, I wouldn't be who I am without him.
It wasn't all positive, but it builds resilience, and the connections I make now are healthy because I know what unhealthy looks like. I hope he would be happy about what I'm doing for us now too.
17-year-old Hank would be so proud, as are we.❤ Thank you for being so vulnerable and trusting us to be part of your journey and story Hank.
I'm at my horrible job, watching this right now with my eyes brimming with tears, this was a really timely thing for me to hear in my current situation.
Going through crises definitely makes you reflect on who you are and where in the universe you fit into.
Hang in there, what ever it is you're going through.
We love you! Hang in there
Never in my life did I imagine that I would be literally crying over a mohawk! My mom and you have a really similar chemo schedule btw. So it's oddly comforting to see two of my most favourite persons being connected by the same thread. 💜✨
I did this too Hank. I decided that I wanted to lose my hair by *my choice* and I sent it to wigs for kids. It was really empowering before I went into chemo. You’re awesome. Keep being awesome. You’ll get through this. From…18 year survivor.
Thank you much Hank for still doing so much for all of us. You and John have made the internet a warmer, better, kinder, and more intelligent place for so many of us. I hope you feel all the love you’ve poured into this community coming back to you. And, of course, don’t forget to be awesome (which you always are). Thank you so much. Sending good energy and lots of care your way
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Hank I just... appreciate you so much... the fact that you are using this event in your life as a way to talk about difficult topics while honoring the past versions of ourselves without feeling intense obligation to them. That's so beautiful. For anyone who this video touched on a soul level, do yourself a favor and look in to inner child work.
I love the idea of loving the 17 year old version of yourself. It's so hard to be kind to yourself at present, and I usually feel like cringing at my former self. But I love that you gave yourself permission to do something that would have your teenage self very happy. I love the mohawk, for as long as you have it!
Okay but to be fair my 17 year old self was an a**hole so he kind of deserves it
You are not him, but he is still you. However large of a part you let him be at any given time, and giving a larger part to him in moments like this is beautiful and inspiring. Thank you for sharing